The Sun-Herald

The Who We Are update: Week 24

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
Channel Seven won the week, largely because of Australia's Got Talent and its news. If this column's theory of a political link is correct, Kevin Rudd can look forward to a slight blip in the polls. SBS has stolen viewers from the ABC, thanks to the soccer.

The prime time audience shares for the week ended up like this: ABC3 0.4%; SBSTWO 0.4%; ONE 1.0; ABC2 1.2; 7TWO 2.5; GO 2.8; SBS1 4.8; ABC1 11.8; All Pay Stations 14.8; Ten 17.9; Nine 19.5; Seven 20.3.

What Australia watched, week ending June 12
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Ten 1,894,000 586,000 611,000 301,000 212,000 184,000
2 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,831,000 552,000 599,000 282,000 201,000 197,000
3 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Ten 1,809,000 495,000 590,000 307,000 192,000 225,000
4 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,696,000 488,000 507,000 354,000 145,000 202,000
5 UNDERBELLY: THE GOLDEN MILE Nine 1,599,000 546,000 506,000 253,000 155,000 139,000
6 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,562,000 409,000 477,000 337,000 134,000 205,000
7 MODERN FAMILY Ten 1,536,000 373,000 530,000 276,000 141,000 216,000
8 NCIS Ten 1,513,000 360,000 434,000 339,000 166,000 214,000
9 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,505,000 439,000 404,000 337,000 192,000 133,000
10 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,501,000 402,000 407,000 303,000 170,000 219,000
11 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,465,000 373,000 406,000 302,000 171,000 213,000
12 GLEE Ten 1,413,000 401,000 425,000 274,000 137,000 176,000
13 SUNDAY NIGHT Seven 1,393,000 389,000 424,000 305,000 139,000 135,000
14 BONES Seven 1,327,000 362,000 391,000 264,000 150,000 159,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 08:19 AM
• Comments (57)

The Tribal Mind: The films Australia loved

FOR THE LATEST UPDATE OF THIS CHART, AND A FORUM TO DISCUSS IT, GO TO The Tribal Mind.

List of the 150 highest-grossing movies of all time, and the 65 movies seen by the greatest number of Australians, prepared by David Dale for The Sydney Morning Herald from data provided by the Motion Picture Distributors Association of Australia. Last updated June 10, 2010.

Top flicks of the past 12 months: Avatar $115 million; Alice in Wonderland $37.5 m; Sherlock Holmes $26m; Iron Man 2 $26m; Sex and the City 2 $23m; Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel $23m; How To Train Your Dragon $20.5m; Clash of the Titans $19.5m; Shrek Forever After 19m; Robin Hood $18.5m; It's Complicated $16m; Valentine's Day $16m; The Blind Side $13.2m; Prince of Persia $11m; Tooth Fairy $10.5m; Shutter Island $10m; Date Night $9m. Hangovers from last year: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince $40.6m; Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen $40.3m; New Moon $39m; Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs $29.8m; Up $28m; The Hangover $21.4m.
Australian films in the past 12 months: Mao's Last Dancer $15.2m; Bran Nue Day $7.5m; The Kings of Mykonos $5m; Animal Kingdom $4m; Charlie and Boots $3.7m; Samson and Delilah $3.2m; Beneath Hill 60 $3.1m; Bright Star $2.9m; Daybreakers $2.4m (worldwide $35m); I Love You Too $2.4m; Animal Kingdom $2m.

Australia's total box office for 2009 was $1.09 billion -- 15 per cent more than the record figure in 2008. But the number of admissions was 90.7 million, less than the record 92.5 million in 2001 and 2002. Average ticket price in 2009 was $12. Australian films got 5 per cent of the box office.

The Australian box office
1. Avatar (2009) $115m
2. Titanic (1997) $57.6 million
3. Shrek 2 (2004) $50.4m
4. The Return of the King (2003) $49.4m
5. Crocodile Dundee (1986) $47.7m
6. Fellowship of the Ring (2001) $47.4m
7. The Dark Knight (2008) $46.1m
8. The Two Towers (2002) $45.7m
9. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001) $42.3m
10. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (2009) $40.6m
11. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) $40.3m
12. Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace (1999) $39m
13. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006) $38 m
14. The Twilight saga: New Moon (2009) $38m
15. Finding Nemo (2003) $37.5m
16. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) $37.5m
17. Alice in Wonderland (2010) $37.5m
18. Australia (2008) $37m (US$50m, world $US205m)
19. Babe (1995) $37m

• by David Dale at 11:50 PM
• Comments (17)

The Tribal Mind: The music Australia loved

FOR THE LATEST UPDATE OF THIS CHART, AND A FORUM TO DISCUSS IT, GO TO The Tribal Mind

Lists of top selling albums and most successful performers, prepared by David Dale using data from ARIA and last updated May 31, 2010.

The top selling albums of the CD era
1. Whispering Jack (John Farnham) 1986
2. Come On Over (Shania Twain) 1997
3. Jagged Little Pill (Alanis Morissette) 1995
4. Innocent Eyes (Delta Goodrem) 2003
5. Music Box (Mariah Carey) 1993
6. Thriller (Michael Jackson) 1983
7. Savage Garden (Savage Garden) 1997
8. Falling Into You (Celine Dion) 1996
9. Recurring Dream (Crowded House) 1996
10. Abba Gold (Abba) 1992
11. Immaculate Collection (Madonna) 1990
12. Age of Reason (John Farnham) 1988
13. The Very Best of (The Eagles) 1994
14. Don't Ask (Tina Arena) 1994
15. Remasters (Led Zeppelin) 1990
16 I'm Not Dead (Pink) 2006
17 Funhouse (Pink) 2009
18. Soul Deep (Jimmy Barnes) 1991
19. Forgiven Not Forgotten (The Corrs) 1995
20. Come Away With Me (Norah Jones) 2002
21. The Sound of White (Missy Higgins) 2005
22 Yourself or Someone Like You (Matchbox 20) 1996
23 Forrest Gump (Soundtrack) 1994
24 Only By The Night (Kings of Leon) 2008
25 Get Born (Jet) 2007

• by David Dale at 10:50 PM
• Comments (48)

The Tribal Mind: The TV shows Australia loved

FOR THE LATEST UPDATE OF THIS CHART, AND A FORUM TO DISCUSS IT, GO TO The Tribal Mind

This contains charts of the most watched programs of the 20th and 21st centuries, prepared by David Dale for The Sydney Morning Herald and based on data from OzTAM and ACNielsen. Last updated May 31, 2010.

Most watched shows in 2010: State of Origin rugby league match 1 (9) 2.46m; Tennis: Aus Open Men's Final (7) 2.35m; Underbelly: The Golden Mile premiere (9) 2.24m; MasterChef Australia (10) 1.93m; Top Gear premiere (9) 1.68m; Two and a Half Men (9) 1.59m; The Biggest Loser Winner Announced (10) 1.57m; My Kitchen Rules (7) 1.56m.

The top shows since 2001
Based on OzTAM's audience estimates for the mainland capitals. Series figures are for the most watched episode of the year.
1 Tennis: Aus Open final - Hewitt v Safin 2005 (7) 4.04 million
2 Rugby World Cup final 2003 (7) 4.01 million
3 MasterChef Australia - Winner Announced 2009 (10) 3.74 million
4 Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony 2006 (9) 3.56m
5 AFL Grand Final 2005 (10) 3.39m
6 Australian Idol final verdict 2004 (10) 3.35m
7 Australian Idol final 2003 (10) 3.30 m
8 AFL Grand Final 2006 (10) 3.15m
9 The Block auction 2003 (9) 3.11 m
10 September 11 reportage, September 12, 2001 (9, 7, ABC) 3.10 m
11 Tennis: Wimbledon day 14 2001 (9) 3.04 m
12 AFL grand final 2003 (10) 2.96 m
13 AFL grand final 2009 (10) 2.70m
14 Big Brother winner announced 2004 (10) 2.86m
15 Australian Idol Live from Opera House 2004 (10) 2.86 m
16 Beijing Olympics opening ceremony 2008 (7) 2.82m

• by David Dale at 09:50 PM
• Comments (18)

The Tribal Mind: The DVDs Australia loved

FOR THE LATEST UPDATE OF THIS CHART, AND A FORUM TO DISCUSS IT, GO TO The Tribal Mind

List of the most most purchased DVDs since 1998, prepared by David Dale for The Sydney Morning Herald, using data from GFK Australia. Last updated May 31, 2010.

The top selling DVDs of all time
1. Finding Nemo (2004)
2 Mamma Mia! (2008)
3 Monsters Inc (2002)
4 Fellowship of the Ring (2002)
5 The Two Towers (2003)
6 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2003)
7 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2006)
8 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
9 Return of the King (2004)
10 Avatar (2010)
11 Pirates of the Caribbean (2004)
12 The Notebook (2005)
13 Shrek 2 (2004)
14 Dirty Dancing (2000)
15 The Dark Knight (2008)
16 Pirates 2: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
17 Cars (2006)
18 The Matrix (1999)
19 The Incredibles (2005)
20 Ice Age (2002)
21 Gladiator (2000)
22 Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)

• by David Dale at 08:10 PM
• Comments (6)

The Who We Are update: Week 23

Australia's smartest forum about popular culture has moved to The Tribal Mind

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
The prime time audience shares for the week ended up like this: SBSTWO 0.3%; ABC3 0.4%; ONE 1.1; ABC2 1.2; 7TWO 2.7; GO 2.8; SBS1 4.1; ABC1 11.3; All Pay Stations 15.2; Ten 18.2; Seven 19.4; Nine 20.7. On this trajectory, Nine will win the year. Does it deserve to? Was four years in the wilderness long enough to teach it about keeping faith with viewers?

What Australia watched, week ending June 5
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Ten 1,881,000 511,000 621,000 311,000 200,000 238,000
2 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Ten 1,833,000 482,000 611,000 312,000 213,000 215,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,777,000 437,000 508,000 408,000 153,000 270,000
4 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,765,000 543,000 510,000 345,000 196,000 171,000
5 UNDERBELLY: THE GOLDEN MILE Nine 1,667,000 561,000 524,000 281,000 130,000 172,000
6 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,586,000 461,000 493,000 261,000 173,000 198,000
7 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,540,000 416,000 443,000 290,000 161,000 229,000
8 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,536,000 441,000 502,000 296,000 122,000 175,000
9 MODERN FAMILY Ten 1,524,000 448,000 493,000 244,000 170,000 170,000
10 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,484,000 430,000 492,000 298,000 101,000 163,000
11 NCIS Ten 1,460,000 420,000 386,000 283,000 179,000 191,000
12 CUSTOMS Nine 1,455,000 407,000 454,000 254,000 161,000 179,000
13 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,419,000 357,000 409,000 286,000 159,000 208,000
14 GLEE Ten 1,392,000 381,000 470,000 277,000 120,000 145,000

• by David Dale at 10:05 AM
• Comments (68)

The Who We Are update: Week 22

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To discuss whether family is the new technology, go to The Tribal Mind.
To find the future of Australian film, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10am Sunday
Channel Nine easily won the week, thanks to biffo, and looks like winning the year, largely because of Underbelly 3. Seven is looking old and tired. Its strongest programs are the news (unaffected by any alleged boycott) and Australia's Got Talent, which is propped up by viewers over 55 who don't watch MasterChef. If this column's theory of a political link is correct, Tony Abbott's rise in the opinion polls will parallel Nine's rise in the ratings. Channel Seven needs to pull a rabbit out of its hat, just like Kevin Rudd.

The prime time audience shares for the week ended up like this: SBSTWO 0.3%; ABC3 0.4%; ONE 1.1; ABC2 1.2; 7TWO 2.6; GO 2.8; SBS1 4.0; ABC1 11.9; All Pay Stations 14.8; Ten 17.6; Seven 19.3; Nine 21.8.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "FOX Sports' 3D broadcast of the World Cup warm-up match for the Socceroos, Live: Football: Australia v NZ, topped the week with 299,000 viewers; Live: NRL Sharks v Broncos was watched by 275,000 people and Live: AFL West Coast v St Kilda was seen by 211,000 people (on FOX Sports).

"Tuesday night's broadcast of Family Guy on FOX8 was seen by 135,000 people, Selling Houses Australia on The Lifestyle Channel was watched by 120,000, and the premiere of Starstruck on Disney Channel was seen by 98,000 people. Top Gear on BBC Knowledge was watched by 91,000 people, Project Runway on Arena by 89,000, and iCarly on Nickelodeon was viewed by 76,000 people.

"In week 22, subscription TV channels had 21.2% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 20.0% of all regional viewing and 54.4% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending May 30
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 STATE OF ORIGIN RUGBY LEAGUE NSW V QLD 1ST - MATCH Nine 2,455,000 1,179,000 328,000 824,000 62,000 62,000
2 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Ten 1,677,000 424,000 614,000 237,000 179,000 222,000
3 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Ten 1,674,000 459,000 552,000 278,000 181,000 204,000
4 UNDERBELLY: THE GOLDEN MILE Nine 1,643,000 580,000 480,000 238,000 148,000 197,000
5 STATE OF ORIGIN RUGBY LEAGUE NSW V QLD 1ST - PRE MATCH Nine 1,633,000 778,000 258,000 597,000
6 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,630,000 376,000 453,000 384,000 157,000 261,000
7 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,563,000 456,000 509,000 253,000 189,000 155,000
8 MODERN FAMILY Ten 1,548,000 393,000 514,000 287,000 161,000 192,000
9 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,539,000 409,000 446,000 291,000 161,000 232,000
10 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,496,000 447,000 377,000 333,000 133,000 206,000
11 NCIS Ten 1,466,000 381,000 393,000 310,000 181,000 201,000
12 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,448,000 427,000 468,000 227,000 141,000 185,000
13 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,445,000 368,000 412,000 282,000 169,000 215,000
14 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,408,000 377,000 487,000 253,000 120,000 172,000
15 NINE NEWS Nine 1,359,000 383,000 418,000 276,000 125,000 156,000
16 GLEE Ten 1,333,000 425,000 408,000 217,000 131,000 152,000
17 CUSTOMS Nine 1,331,000 365,000 446,000 241,000 129,000 149,000
18 TOP GEAR Nine 1,291,000 372,000 410,000 263,000 129,000 116,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 09:16 AM
• Comments (69)

The Who We Are update: Week 21

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to The Tribal Mind.

To discuss whether 3-D is just putting lipstick on a pig, go to The Tribal Mind.
To nominate the most interesting and the most embarrassing Australian movies of the past 30 years, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
Channel Seven narrowly won the week. If this column's theory of a political link is correct, Kevin Rudd will enjoy a small bump in the opinion polls.

The prime time audience shares for the week ended up like this: ABC3 0.4%; SBSTWO 0.4%; ONE 1.3; ABC2 1.3; 7TWO 2.6; GO 2.6; SBS1 3.8; ABC1 12.1; All Pay Stations 15.2; Ten 17.0; Nine 20.0; Seven 20.6; .

This was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "The match between Parramatta and Cronulla, Live: NRL Eels v Sharks on FOX Sports was seen by 317,000 viewers. Parramatta's clash with Manly earlier in the week was watched by 309,000 people (FOX Sports). In Australian Rules football, Live: AFL St Kilda v Essendon was watched by 251,000 viewers and Live: AFL Richmond v Hawthorn had 179,000 viewers.
Other top programs include: Selling Houses on The Lifestyle Channel: 170,000 TV viewers; Project Runway on ARENA: 127,000 viewers; Family Guy on FOX8: 122,000 viewers; American Idol Performance Show on FOX8: 97,000 viewers and Law & Order: SVU on TV1: 80,000 viewers.
"In week 21, subscription TV channels had 21.2% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 20.2% of all regional viewing and 54.8% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."
What Australia watched, week ending May 22
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,843,000 493,000 548,000 346,000 193,000 264,000
2 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Ten 1,675,000 443,000 553,000 287,000 165,000 227,000
3 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Ten 1,675,000 452,000 564,000 270,000 181,000 208,000
4 UNDERBELLY: THE GOLDEN MILE Nine 1,644,000 573,000 503,000 247,000 145,000 177,000
5 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,552,000 424,000 478,000 322,000 165,000 162,000
6 MODERN FAMILY Ten 1,549,000 448,000 488,000 251,000 173,000 190,000
7 SUNDAY NIGHT Seven 1,502,000 416,000 421,000 308,000 162,000 195,000
8 NCIS Ten 1,485,000 445,000 397,000 271,000 181,000 190,000
9 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,473,000 397,000 416,000 282,000 154,000 222,000
10 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,457,000 406,000 369,000 313,000 151,000 218,000
11 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,431,000 447,000 417,000 244,000 129,000 194,000
12 THE FORCE - BEHIND THE LINE Seven 1,384,000 392,000 418,000 239,000 152,000 183,000
13 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,370,000 357,000 384,000 273,000 157,000 200,000
14 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,351,000 354,000 466,000 244,000 102,000 185,000
15 60 MINUTES Nine 1,338,000 413,000 402,000 284,000 100,000 139,000
16 SEND IN THE DOGS Nine 1,319,000 363,000 422,000 229,000 142,000 162,000
17 NINE NEWS Nine 1,312,000 366,000 422,000 259,000 127,000 139,000
18 GLEE Ten 1,308,000 353,000 422,000 258,000 126,000 149,000
19 CUSTOMS Nine 1,289,000 364,000 419,000 224,000 135,000 147,000
20 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,243,000 352,000 424,000 227,000 112,000 128,000
21 BORDER SECURITY (R) Seven 1,228,000 334,000 378,000 222,000 140,000 154,000
22 SEA PATROL Nine 1,224,000 369,000 386,000 199,000 142,000 129,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 07:22 PM
• Comments (63)

WHO WE ARE: Never mind the quality, feel the prejudice

To learn the real reasons people over 55 don't watch MasterChef, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 16/5/2010
One of the finest films ever made in Australia will drop out of the box office top ten this week after being seen by less than 300,000 of us. How many times could I have written that sentence in the past 30 years?

It happens I'm talking about the war movie Beneath Hill 60, but I could have been discussing any of a vast array of well-reviewed, well-publicised dramas and comedies that fell victim to the entrenched prejudice that Ozflicks are either lame or depressing.

This doesn't mean, of course, that no Australian film has sold more than $3 million worth of tickets in the past 30 years. But an almost inverse relationship seems to be developing between commercial success and saying something interesting about Australian life. Consider these two charts.

The most successful locally made films of the past 30 years
1 Crocodile Dundee (sold 9 million tickets in 1986)
2 Babe (5.5 million tickets in 1995)
3 Crocodile Dundee Two (4 million in 1988)
4 The Man from Snowy River (3.5m in 1982)
5 Australia (3.5m in 2008)
6 Gallipoli (3m in 1981)
7 Happy Feet (3m in 2006)
8 Mad Max 2 (3m in 1981)
9 Moulin Rouge (3m in 2001)
10 Strictly Ballroom (3m in 1992)

The most interesting locally made films of the past 30 years
1 Lantana (sold 1.3 million tickets in 2001)
3 Gallipoli (3m in 1981)
4 Two Hands (700,000 in 1999)
5 Oscar and Lucinda (250,000 in 1998)
7 Rabbit Proof Fence (900,000 in 2002)
8 Muriel's Wedding (2.3m in 1994)
7 Beneath Hill 60 (250,000 in 2010)
8 Shine (1.4m in 1996)
9 Kenny (800,000 in 2006)
10 The Castle (1.3m in 1997).

The first chart comes from dividing each film's earnings by the average ticket price in the year of release. Three movies - Babe, Happy Feet, and Moulin Rouge -- could have been made anywhere (unless you want to argue that George Miller and Baz Luhrman are gifted directors purely because of their Australianness).

Only one movie - Gallipoli - appears on both charts, and it comes from a decade when Australians were still enthusiastic about their own stories. The second chart is of course subjective, based on my favourites that could only have been made here. It's simply a conversation starter, and I'm happy to replace any of the entries with films you nominate by going to Comments.

You might prefer some of my runners-up -- Malcolm, Getting' Square, Ten Canoes, Little Fish, Looking for Alibrandi -- or something completely different. While you're at that web address, nominating the flicks you found most interesting, how about nominating the most embarrassing Australian flicks of the past 30 years (I'll start the ball rolling with I Love You Too, currently showing in certain cinemas). And tell us why you think Australian films are so on the nose with Australians, and what we ought to do about it. This background information might be useful ..

Australia is the fourth most movie-loving nation of the world , with per capita attendances just behind Singapore, Iceland and Ireland, and just ahead of America and South Korea. Some 70 per cent of us go to the cinema at least once a year (seven times a year, on average). The most frequent cinemagoers are people aged 14-24 (84 per cent of them average nine visits). In that age group, males slightly outnumber females. The least enthusiastic cinema goers are people over 50 (only 50 per cent go at least once a year, with females outnumbering males).

Now go to Comments to nominate your favourites, your most disliked and your solutions.

• by David Dale at 06:31 AM
• Comments (18)

The Who We Are update: Week 20

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to The Tribal Mind.

To discuss the most interesting and the most embarrassing Australian movies of the past 30 years, go to Who We Are.
To learn the real reasons people over 55 don't watch MasterChef, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10am Sunday
Channel Nine is winning the year, largely because of Underbelly 3 and 2.5 Men. Seven's strongest show is Australia's Got Talent, which is propped up by viewers over 55 who don't watch MasterChef. If this column's theory of a political link is correct, Tony Abbott's rise in the opinion polls will parallel Nine's rise in the ratings. Channel Seven needs to pull a rabbit out of its hat, just like Kevin Rudd.

The prime time audience shares for the week ended up like this: ABC3 0.4%; SBSTWO 0.4%; ONE 1.1; ABC2 1.4; 7TWO 2.6; GO 2.6; SBS1 3.8; ABC1 12.2; All Pay Stations 15.0; Ten 16.9; Seven 20.5; Nine 20.9.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "Monday night Live: NRL Roosters v Cowboys coverage on Fox Sports was the most viewed program of the week with 242,000 viewers, closely followed by the Sunday afternoon Live: AFL Adelaide v Richmond broadcast with 236,000 viewers. The early Wednesday morning Fox Sports 2 coverage of Live: ICC World Twenty was viewed by 94,000 people.

"On Wednesday night, Lifestyle Channel's Selling Houses Australia had 152,000 viewers and FOX8's animation programming had a strong week with a trio of programs scoring well: Family Guy was watched by 118,000 viewers on Tuesday night, Futurama had 117,000 on Wednesday night and The Simpsons was seen by 95,000 on Sunday night. Project Runway on Arena was watched by 88,000 people, Hannah Montana on Disney Channel was seen by 77,000 people and Captive for 18 Years premiered on Crime & Investigation with 77,000 viewers.

"In week 20, subscription TV channels had 21.2% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, STV was 20.1% of all regional viewing and 54.4% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending May 15
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: THE GOLDEN MILE Nine 1,647,000 606,000 433,000 294,000 146,000 169,000
2 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Ten 1,644,000 458,000 525,000 274,000 182,000 205,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,572,000 425,000 426,000 322,000 173,000 226,000
4 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Ten 1,548,000 362,000 542,000 278,000 170,000 197,000
5 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,509,000 418,000 518,000 219,000 163,000 192,000
6 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,473,000 367,000 417,000 375,000 164,000 150,000
7 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,439,000 381,000 407,000 268,000 162,000 220,000
8 NCIS Ten 1,422,000 373,000 382,000 305,000 164,000 199,000
9 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,388,000 435,000 424,000 270,000 105,000 154,000
10 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,353,000 340,000 387,000 262,000 159,000 204,000
11 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,341,000 348,000 362,000 286,000 145,000 200,000
12 BONDI RESCUE Ten 1,328,000 384,000 373,000 264,000 137,000 170,000
13 NINE NEWS Nine 1,293,000 359,000 429,000 254,000 126,000 124,000
14 SUNDAY NIGHT Seven 1,289,000 335,000 388,000 262,000 128,000 176,000
15 TOP GEAR Nine 1,282,000 345,000 388,000 276,000 122,000 151,000
16 THE MENTALIST Nine 1,262,000 416,000 384,000 217,000 117,000 128,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 09:06 AM
• Comments (64)

The Who We Are update: Week 18

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to The Tribal Mind.

To learn the awful truth about MasterChef, go to The Tribal Mind.

To learn how readers voted on the worst of Australian television, click on The Bogies 2010.

The ratings race, updated 10am Sunday
Channel Nine is winning the year, largely because of Underbelly 3. If this column's theory of a political link is correct, Tony Abbott will enjoy a parallel rise in the opinion polls. Channel Seven needs to pull a rabbit out of its hat, just like Kevin Rudd.

The prime time audience shares for the week ended up like this: ABC3 0.3%; SBSTWO 0.4%; ONE 0.9; ABC2 1.4; 7TWO 2.6; GO 2.7; SBS1 3.8; ABC1 11.3; All Pay Stations 15.1; Ten 17.4; Seven 20.2; Nine 21.5.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "Subscription TV celebrated another successful week of sport and entertainment: Live: NRL Sea Eagles v Dragons topped the week with 205,000 viewers; AFL Live: AFL Brisbane Lions v Fremantle scored 204,000 viewers; Live: Football: EPL Liverpool v Chelsea was watched by 98,000 and Live: Rugby Union: S14 Hurr v Reds had 93,000 viewers (all on FOX Sports).

"Selling Houses Australia on Lifestyle Channel was the highest rated entertainment program with 145,000 viewers, Hannah Montana on Disney Channel was seen by 116,000 viewers and The Simpsons on FOX8 was seen by 110,000 people. NCIS on TV1 was watched by 91,000 people, Eastenders on UKTV was seen by 79,000 people, Project Runway on Arena had 70,000 viewers and the premiere of Iceland Volcano Disaster on National Geographic was seen by 57,000 people.

"In week 19, subscription TV channels had 21.8% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 19.6% of all regional viewing and 54.9% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending May 8
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Network 7 1,816,000 421,000 618,000 339,000 156,000 281,000
2 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Network TEN 1,541,000 435,000 491,000 249,000 165,000 201,000
3 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Network TEN 1,532,000 451,000 512,000 199,000 172,000 199,000
4 NCIS Network TEN 1,509,000 412,000 414,000 312,000 170,000 201,000
5 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Network 9 1,476,000 491,000 441,000 224,000 165,000 155,000
6 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Network 7 1,461,000 420,000 451,000 220,000 143,000 226,000
7 SEVEN NEWS Network 7 1,446,000 365,000 418,000 287,000 157,000 220,000
8 52ND ANNUAL TV WEEK LOGIE AWARDS Network 9 1,402,000 438,000 498,000 221,000 129,000 116,000
9 CUSTOMS Network 9 1,396,000 440,000 487,000 186,000 132,000 152,000
10 TODAY TONIGHT Network 7 1,369,000 331,000 392,000 277,000 157,000 212,000
11 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,367,000 395,000 385,000 294,000 121,000 172,000
12 SEND IN THE DOGS Network 9 1,357,000 413,000 473,000 182,000 148,000 141,000
13 BONES Network 7 1,351,000 382,000 396,000 228,000 163,000 183,000

• by David Dale at 05:22 PM
• Comments (109)

WHO WE ARE: The party's over for Malcolm

To learn how readers voted on the worst of Australian television, click on The Bogies 2010.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 2/5/2010

MALCOLM TURNBULL has made a mistake in announcing he will stand again as the Liberal candidate in the Sydney seat of Wentworth. He should have stuck with his decision to leave the Liberals, and instead stood in Wentworth as the candidate of the Labor Party. Given the fluidity he has already demonstrated, it's still possible that he will do that.

Turnbull transferring to Labor would be no big deal. It would symbolise a social shift which political scientists have identified for years: the end of ideology, the collapse of the party system, the triumph of personality over platform and of flexibility over dogma.

Three possible scenarios would follow ...

1. Kevin Rudd scrapes in this year with a reduced majority, and after 12 months is replaced by Julia Gillard. Turnbull waits patiently on the back bench. Gillard loses the 2013 election, and Turnbull becomes leader of the Opposition. He defeats Prime Minister Tony Abbott in 2016. Sweet revenge.

2. Rudd is re-elected this year with an increased majority. A struggle starts between Gillard and Turnbull on who should ultimately replace Rudd. This internal dissension is exploited by Liberal leader Joe Hockey, who wins the 2013 election. Turnbull is replaced as Labor Opposition leader in 2015 by Peter Garrett. Turnbull retires, but then is urged to stand as Liberal candidate for Wentworth.

3. Rudd loses this year's election and, as part of the swing, Turnbull fails to win Wentworth for Labor. He goes back to his business interests. In 2013 Julia Gillard trounces Tony Abbott, and uses her popularity to win a refendum on making Australia a republic. In search of a bipartisan appointee as our first president, who does she turn to?

Oh come on, you say, enough with these absurd speculations. Isn't it more likely Turnbull will lose Wentworth and then move to NSW Parliament, bumping out Barry O'Farrell, and dragging the State Liberals from their far-right fundamentalism?

I don't think so, because Turnbull would never swim against the tide of history. State Governments are on the way out. All the polls show Australians will not shed a single tear if the States wither away. Everyone except a few State Premiers agrees we'd be better off with a central government handling the big issues (health, education, defence) and regional governments (created by amalgamating local councils) handling local details.

OK, so Turnbull knows better than to join a disappearing tier of government. But why would he move to Labor? Because he recognized, long before the political scientists, that the parties are going the same way as the states.

I first met Malcolm Turnbull in the mid 1970s, when he was working for The Australia Party (a "middle of the road" predecessor of the Democrats). I asked him then why he bothered with a party that had no chance of winning government, and he said it was simply to get experience. The ideologies of all the parties were converging, he said, so it didn't matter which one you joined, because you could always mould it in your own image.

At the time, I disagreed with him. Now I realize he has always had a clear idea of what's best for him. I think we can look forward to more dramatic transformations. Bob Brown has to retire soon as leader of the Greens.

Go to Comments to recommend Turnbull's future.

• by David Dale at 11:47 AM
• Comments (1)

The Who We Are update: Week 17

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to The Tribal Mind.

To vote on the worst of Australian television, go to The Bogies 2010.
To discuss the ten most iconic Aussie takeaways, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10am Sunday
For most of this week, Channel Ten was ahead of Seven and Nine in audience share, but a Saturday night without MasterChef finally pushed it behind. The prime time audience shares for the week ended up like this: ABC3 0.3%; SBSTWO 0.4%; ABC2 1.1; ONE 1.1; 7TWO 2.4; GO 2.8; SBS1 3.7; ABC1 11.4; All Pay Stations 15.1; Ten 19.3; Seven 20.0; Nine 20.2.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "Fox Sports coverage of Live: NRL Panthers v West Tigers on Saturday night won the week and was seen by 246,000 viewers. The Live: AFL Melbourne v Brisbane on Saturday night was watched by 198,000 viewers. Lifestyle Channel's Relocation: Phil Down Under on Wednesday was seen by 140,000 viewers whilst Selling Houses Australia on the same evening closely followed with 138,000 viewers.

"In week 17, subscription TV channels had more viewers than any other network with 21.6% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 19.8% of all regional viewing and 55.4% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia recorded and watched later, Week ending April 18
RNK Description STN Overnight Consolidated 000's Increase % Increase
1 THE PACIFIC - EP.2 Seven 1,520,000 1,678,000 158,000 10.4%
2 THE PACIFIC Seven 1,653,000 1,791,000 138,000 8.3%
3 THE GOOD WIFE Ten 813,000 933,000 120,000 14.8%
4 NCIS Ten 1,191,000 1,306,000 115,000 9.7%
5 HOUSE Ten 568,000 681,000 113,000 19.9%
6 UNDERBELLY: THE GOLDEN MILE -EP 2 Nine 2,015,000 2,126,000 111,000 5.5%
7 TOP GEAR Nine 1,736,000 1,847,000 111,000 6.4%
8 GREY'S ANATOMY Seven 1,005,000 1,114,000 110,000 10.9%
9 BONES Seven 1,159,000 1,266,000 107,000 9.2%
10 UNDERBELLY: THE GOLDEN MILE -EP 1 Nine 2,252,000 2,358,000 106,000 4.7%

What Australia watched, week ending April 24
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: THE GOLDEN MILE Nine 1,918,000 659,000 566,000 293,000 198,000 202,000
2 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - LAUNCH Ten 1,695,000 490,000 545,000 255,000 191,000 214,000
3 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - TOP 50 WED Ten 1,611,000 499,000 491,000 268,000 165,000 188,000
4 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,591,000 357,000 504,000 369,000 141,000 220,000
5 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - TOP 50 THURS Ten 1,580,000 431,000 520,000 255,000 174,000 200,000
6 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - THE WINNER ANNOUNCED Ten 1,577,000 445,000 507,000 287,000 143,000 195,000
7 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - TOP 50 TUES Ten 1,536,000 436,000 481,000 257,000 177,000 186,000
8 THE PACIFIC Seven 1,476,000 374,000 503,000 258,000 165,000 176,000
9 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,452,000 409,000 400,000 275,000 161,000 207,000
10 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,411,000 350,000 404,000 284,000 163,000 211,000
11 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,383,000 298,000 454,000 286,000 145,000 199,000
12 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,382,000 362,000 450,000 308,000 102,000 160,000
13 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - FINALE NIGHT Ten 1,380,000 373,000 445,000 268,000 121,000 173,000
14 NCIS Ten 1,379,000 363,000 398,000 244,000 167,000 208,000
15 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,373,000 458,000 380,000 258,000 137,000 139,000
16 60 MINUTES Nine 1,346,000 444,000 378,000 262,000 118,000 145,000
17 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,341,000 324,000 384,000 281,000 163,000 190,000
18 NINE NEWS Nine 1,278,000 362,000 395,000 265,000 123,000 132,000
19 THE FORCE - BEHIND THE LINE Seven 1,245,000 329,000 378,000 207,000 147,000 184,000
20 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,236,000 334,000 400,000 243,000 130,000 129,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 09:25 AM
• Comments (68)

The Who We Are update: Week 16

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To recommend the best of Australian fast food, go to Who We Are.
To discuss whether Australia's teenage girls are whiny moping wusses, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10am Sunday
Channel Nine won the first week of serious competition for the year, largely because of Underbelly 3. If this column's theory of a political link is correct, Tony Abbbott will rise in the opinion polls.

The prime time audience shares for the week went like this: SBSTWO 0.3%; ABC3 0.3%; ABC2 1.2; ONE 1.1; 7TWO 2.7; GO 3.0; SBS1 4.1; ABC1 11.3; Ten 14.5; All Pay Stations 15.3; Seven 21.3; Nine 22.7.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "Fox Sports coverage of the NRL game Live: NRL Eels v Raiders topped the week in STV with 247,000 people. Lifestyle's Relocation: Phil Down Under (135,000 people) and Selling Houses Australia (124,000 people) on Lifestyle Channel continued their high ratings from last week. Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney on Sunday evening was viewed by 133,000 people and Family Guy on FOX8 was watched by 119,000 people. In week 16, subscription TV channels had 21.9% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 21.1% of all regional viewing and 56.1%% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia recorded and watched later, week ending April 10
RNK Description STN Overnight Consolidated 000's Increase % Increase
1 MIDSOMER MURDERS RPT ABC1 469,000 581,000 112,000 23.9%
2 BLUE MURDER ABC1 658,000 766,000 109,000 16.6%
3 BROTHERS & SISTERS Seven 775,000 853,000 78,000 10.1%
4 WHITECHAPEL ABC1 831,000 907,000 76,000 9.1%
5 NCIS: LOS ANGELES Ten 838,000 910,000 72,000 8.6%
6 BROTHERS & SISTERS - EP.1 Seven 782,000 848,000 67,000 8.6%
7 CRIMINAL MINDS (R) Seven 807,000 872,000 65,000 8.1%
8 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER Seven 776,000 840,000 64,000 8.2%
9 MEDIUM Ten 481,000 545,000 64,000 13.3%
10 THE GRUFFALO-AM ABC1 132,000 195,000 63,000 47.7%
11 V Nine 603,000 666,000 63,000 10.4%
12 CRIMINAL MINDS-EP.1 (R) Seven 847,000 909,000 62,000 7.3%
13 SUPERNATURAL Ten 340,000 402,000 62,000 18.2%
14 COUGAR TOWN Seven 756,000 813,000 56,000 7.4%
15 NCIS RPT Ten 1,265,000 1,321,000 56,000 4.4%
(OzTAM mainland capitals)

What Australia watched, week ending April 17
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: THE GOLDEN MILE -EP 1 Nine 2,252,000 739,000 766,000 318,000 204,000 225,000
2 UNDERBELLY: THE GOLDEN MILE -EP 2 Nine 2,015,000 654,000 671,000 287,000 189,000 215,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,745,000 364,000 576,000 340,000 155,000 310,000
4 TOP GEAR Nine 1,736,000 488,000 557,000 350,000 136,000 204,000
5 THE PACIFIC Seven 1,653,000 445,000 522,000 310,000 168,000 208,000
6 THE PACIFIC - EP.2 Seven 1,520,000 398,000 495,000 260,000 168,000 200,000
7 60 MINUTES Nine 1,509,000 432,000 481,000 310,000 135,000 150,000
8 MIRACLE AT THE ZOO Seven 1,507,000 423,000 489,000 234,000 149,000 212,000
9 HEY HEY IT'S SATURDAY Nine 1,495,000 405,000 591,000 250,000 127,000 123,000
10 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,494,000 415,000 500,000 233,000 179,000 167,000

• by David Dale at 07:07 PM
• Comments (73)

WHO WE ARE: The icons of Aussie eating

To vote on the worst of Australian television, go to The Bogies 2010.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 18/4/2010
Let me apologise in advance for the outrage I am about to commit, and request that your shock does not distract you from the point of this column, which is to seek your help in identifying Australia's most iconic fast food items. I'm going to have to say something nice about McDonalds.

The last time I committed this journalistic sin was in 1999, when McDonalds introduced the McOz. I praised McDonald's Australia for respecting local tradition and resisting the standardisation imposed by head office in Oak Brook, Illinois. To ensure the McOz could be available everywhere, they had to rebuild the Queensland beetroot industry, because their research told them that the quality Australians remembered most in the burger of their childhood was the pink juice that ran down your arm.

I was accused of taking a bribe from an evil multinational to promote a product that would cause instant obesity in every Australian child. I survived, but the McOz with beetroot didn't. Sadly, it has nearly vanished from McDonald's stores across the land.

The problem, apparently, was that children hate vegetables of all colours and have been brainwashed to think the only acceptable adornment of a beef patty is a slice of pickle, which they can peel off and throw away. The earthiness of beetroot is a sophisticated adult taste, and too few adults frequent McDonald's to justify the continuing availability of the McOz.

Anyway, in the course of researching today's column about iconic fingerfoods I went into a McDonald's last week and discovered The McOz has been replaced by The Grand Angus. It contains a superior quality of minced Australian beef on a sourdough roll, and as long as you ask them to leave off the raw onion, it's better than the bland Big Mac. There, I've said it.

I was testing the Angus under adverse conditions. Already that day I had tried a potato scallop with taramasalata dip (the trendy new way to serve this veteran artery-clogger) and a "Lamb 'n' Chip Gyro Kone". The latter treat involved pita bread wrapped around hot chips, pieces of lamb sliced off a rotisserie, chunks of tomato, grilled onion and something described on the sign as "g sauce". I asked the cook what g sauce was, and he said "you know, that pink stuff, cocktail sauce". He did not know what the G stood for.

It was exciting to see that innovation is alive and well in the fast food industry. Three days of conspicuous consumption led me to propose two lists, on which I'd like your opinion ...

Australia's takeaway icons: The roll of honour
1 The hamburger with beetroot
2 The pizza with pineapple
3 The meat pie with tomato sauce
4 The dim sim with soy sauce
5 The Chiko roll with tomato sauce
6 The potato scallop with vinegar
7 The chicken wrap with mayonnaise
8 Sushi with soy and wasabi
9 The Pluto Pup/ Dagwood Dog/ battered sav with tomato sauce
10 The kebab/ gyro/ yeero with yoghurt sauce.

Australia's takeaways: A new generation
1 The gosleme (pancake stuffed with spiced beef and spinach)
2 The somosa (Indian pastry triangles stuffed with spiced potato)
3 The pide (Turkish kind of folded pizza)
4 The arancino (Italian rice ball)
5 The Grand Angus without raw onion (but with beetroot, perhaps?)

Go to Comments to suggest other contributions to our culinary heritage.

• by David Dale at 12:03 PM
• Comments (2)

The Who We Are update: Weeks 14 and 15

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To vote on the worst of Australian television, go to The Bogies 2010.
To recommend the best of Australian fast food, go to Who We Are

The ratings race, updated 10am Monday
This was Pay TV's account of itself for the second week of the so-called Easter non-ratings period: "In the premiere episode of Relocation: Phil Down Under on Lifestyle Channel, host Phil Spencer had 192,000 subscription TV viewers see how the Relocation team is advising the British public about moving to Australia. In the same week, Andrew Winter and the Selling Houses Australia team were watched by 178,000 viewers (also on Lifestyle Channel). America's Next Top Model on FOX8 had its best result of the year with 129,000 viewers, Midsomer Murders on UKTV was seen by 98,000 people and NCIS on TV1 was watched by 95,000 people. The Simpsons on Fox8 drew 134,000.

"The Easter Monday Rugby League game between Souths and Canterbury-Bankstown, Live: NRL Rabbitohs v Bulldogs, on FOX Sports was seen by 264,000 viewers. In Australian Rules football, Live: AFL Port Adelaide v Brisbane Lions was watched by 153,000 viewers and Live: Rugby Union: S14 Crus v W'tahs was seen by 99,000 people. Live: AFL: On the Couch was watched by 138,000 viewers, Live: NRL Monday Pre Game Show had its best result of the year so far with 99,000 people and the premiere of Open Mike was watched by 65,000 people (all on FOX Sports).

"In week 15, subscription TV channels had more viewers than any other network around Australia with 24.6% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 23.4% of all regional viewing and 60.4% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia recorded and watched later, week ending April 3
RNK Description STN Overnight Consolidated 000's Increase % Increase
1 MIDSOMER MURDERS RPT ABC1 510,000 614,000 104,000 20.4%
2 THE GOOD WIFE Ten 994,000 1,093,000 99,000 10.0%
3 CRIMINAL MINDS-EP.1 (R) Seven 1,067,000 1,156,000 89,000 8.3%
4 SURVIVOR: HEROES VS VILLAINS Nine 847,000 934,000 87,000 10.3%
5 GREY'S ANATOMY Seven 936,000 1,022,000 87,000 9.3%
6 DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Seven 895,000 981,000 86,000 9.6%
7 BROTHERS & SISTERS Seven 843,000 928,000 85,000 10.1%
8 BLUE MURDER ABC1 755,000 836,000 81,000 10.7%
9 PRIVATE PRACTICE Seven 679,000 760,000 81,000 11.9%
10 PLACE OF EXECUTION ABC1 634,000 712,000 78,000 12.3%
(OzTAM mainland capitals)

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,194,000 301,000 348,000 231,000 103,000 212,000
2 DOC MARTIN: ON THE EDGE ABC1 915,000 228,000 269,000 182,000 102,000 135,000
3 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 896,000 222,000 286,000 173,000 130,000 85,000
4 ABC NEWS-SA ABC1 824,000 207,000 261,000 146,000 89,000 122,000
5 THE BILL ABC1 811,000 259,000 206,000 126,000 98,000 123,000
6 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS Nine 789,000 217,000 231,000 161,000 82,000 98,000
10 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Ten 586,000 52,000 315,000 46,000 70,000 103,000

• by David Dale at 09:24 AM
• Comments (62)

WHO WE ARE: We've found a way to stretch time

To discuss whether The Hurt Locker deserves its awards, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 4/4/2009
THE AVERAGE AUSTRALIAN adult spends 1 minute of every day "teaching, helping and reprimanding" children, according to a Time Use survey of 3,900 households conducted by the Bureau of Statistics. Have you done your reprimanding yet today? If there's no child in your household, you'd better get out and find one, or risk being considered unAustralian. Don't forget to take your stopwatch.

It's an odd statistic, isn't it? It looks like a classic case of the too literal application of the concept of averaging. As this column has pointed out before, "the average Australian" has one breast and one testicle and smokes four cigarettes a day. You get that useful image by totalling the number of breasts, the number of testicles and the daily consumption of tobacco, then dividing by the population.

In the same way, if you ask people in a representative sample of households how many minutes they spend teaching, helping and reprimanding kids, most of them will answer zero, since there'll be no young children in the house. Total the answers and divide by the sample size, and you're bound to get a silly figure like 1 minute.

The Time Use study is on safer ground when it deals with activities all or most of us do every day - sleeping for example. The average Australian spends 8 hrs and 31 minutes a day asleep, while people aged 15 to 24 average 9 hours and 2 minutes.

Then there's eating and drinking - 1 hour and 29 minutes a day (but when it comes to preparing meals and cleaning up afterwards, men average 29 minutes, women average 1 hour and 9 minutes). And on "personal hygeine", the average man spends 43 minutes a day, while the average woman spends 54 minutes.

My curiosity about how Australians pass their spare time was provoked by some data I received last week from Roy Morgan Research. The Morgan people interviewed 51,800 Australians over the age of 14 last year about their use of media, and compared those findings with a similar survey done in 2004. Here's how we've changed:

We watch less TV: Regular viewing is done by 93 per cent of Australians, who average 21 hours and 9 minutes a week in front of the box (down from 22 hours and 12 minutes in 2004). To learn exactly what Australia is watching, go to this column's daily ratings update, at blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

We listen to the radio a lot less: Some 62 per cent of Australians listen at least once a week (down from 68 per cent in 2004), and they average 13 hours 19 minutes a week (3 hours less than in 2004). The most listened to stations are, in Sydney, 2GB (Alan Jones), 2Day FM (Hamish Blake and Andy Lee) and ABC 702; in Melbourne, 3AW (Ross Stevenson and John Burns), Fox FM (Hamish and Andy), and ABC 774.

We read newspapers less: Inky fingers are the fate of 74 per cent of Australians (down from 83 per cent in 2004) who average 3 hours 6 mins a week (down 11 minutes). The top selling newspapers are The Sunday Telegraph, The Herald-Sun (Melbourne) and The Sun-Herald.

We use the internet much more: Surfing is done by 76 per cent of us (up from 66 per cent), for 11 hours 15 minutes a week, which is 4 hours 53 minutes more than in 2004. The sites most visited by Australians are: 1. Google; 2 Facebook; 3 Windows Live; 4 Yahoo!; 5 YouTube; 6 EBay; 7 Ninemsn; 8 Wikipedia; 9 Myspace; 10 news.com.au; 11 Blogger.com; 12 Microsoft Network (MSN); 13 Real Estate Australia; 14 smh.com.au.

With all that frantic activity, it's amazing that the average Australian can find even one minute a day for "teaching, helping and reprimanding". Never mind the lucky country -- better call us the multitasking country.

Go to Comments to discuss how your leisure time has changed. Are you listening to less radio.

• by David Dale at 03:11 PM
• Comments (1)

The Who We Are update: Week 13

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To learn whether Australians are politically engaged or back in a Dreamy Period, go to The Tribal Mind.
To suggest Great Lost Aussie Inventions, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10am Sunday
Channel Seven won the week, largely because of the final of My Kitchen Rules. If this column's theory of a political link is correct, Kevin Rudd will rise in the opinion polls.

The prime time audience shares for the week went like this: SBSTWO 0.3%; ABC3 0.4%; ABC2 1.1; ONE 1.4; 7TWO 2.6; GO 3.0; SBS1 4.1; ABC1 11.4; Ten 15.5; All Pay Stations 16.1; Nine 19.9; Seven 22.0.

This was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "The Melbourne Storm held off a resurgent Penrith Panthers in FOX Sports' coverage of their Rugby League match, Live: NRL Panthers v Storm, watched by 220,000 people on Saturday evening. In Australian Rules, 183,000 watched Live: AFL Brisbane Lions v West Coast, 172,000 watched Live: Cricket: Test NZ v Aus 2nd Test and Live: Rugby Union: S14 Waratahs v Blues was seen by 96,000 viewers (all on FOX Sports).

"American Idol Performance Show on FOX8 was watched by 105,000 people, Hannah Montana on Disney Channel was seen by 88,000 and Legend of the Seeker on FOX8 had its best result of the year with 83,000 viewers. NCIS on TV1 was seen by 83,000 people, Location, Location, Location on Lifestyle Channel was viewed by 67,000 people and Keeping Up With The Kardashians on E! had its best result of the year with 62,000 viewers. Most watched non-sporting shows were The Simpsons, with 112,000, and Family Guy with 107,000, both on Fox8.

"In week 13, subscription TV channels had more viewers than any other network around Australia with 22.5% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 22.4% of all regional viewing and 57.0% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia recorded and watched later, week ending March 20
Description STN Overnight With timeshifted 000's Increase % Increase
1 HOUSE Network TEN 872,000 1,002,000 130,000 14.90%
2 BROTHERS & SISTERS-TUE Network 7 899,000 1,019,000 120,000 13.30%
3 GREY'S ANATOMY Network 7 1,089,000 1,204,000 115,000 10.60%
4 BROTHERS & SISTERS Network 7 982,000 1,096,000 114,000 11.60%
5 CRIMINAL MINDS Network 7 1,206,000 1,318,000 112,000 9.30%
6 THE GOOD WIFE Network TEN 1,123,000 1,231,000 109,000 9.70%
7 THE MENTALIST Network 9 1,277,000 1,386,000 109,000 8.50%
8 NCIS Network TEN 1,409,000 1,515,000 106,000 7.50%
9 BONES Network 7 1,381,000 1,485,000 104,000 7.50%
10 SURVIVOR: HEROES VS VILLAINS -EP2 Network 9 708,000 808,000 100,000 14.10%

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,223,000 278,000 419,000 252,000 117,000 157,000
2 ABC NEWS-SAT ABC1 914,000 263,000 310,000 162,000 93,000 86,000
3 NINE NEWS SAT Nine 892,000 259,000 302,000 165,000 84,000 81,000
4 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS Nine 745,000 217,000 223,000 152,000 77,000 77,000
5 The BILL ABC1 718,000 213,000 204,000 120,000 87,000 94,000
6 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Ten 693,000 82,000 295,000 85,000 74,000 156,000
7 M-ALICE IN WONDERLAND Seven 686,000 225,000 218,000 81,000 74,000 88,000
8 CROCODILE DUNDEE -RPT Nine 639,000 203,000 198,000 119,000 53,000 66,000
9 BED OF ROSES ABC1 617,000 187,000 190,000 114,000 67,000 59,000
10 BLUE MURDER ABC1 615,000 188,000 153,000 95,000 91,000 88,000
29 NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD SBS ONE 258,000 64,000 82,000 55,000 26,000 31,000
56 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL ONE 137,000 16,000 36,000 32,000 14,000 39,000
228 WAFL LIVE LEAGUE FOOTBALL 2010-PM ABC1 20,000 20,000
237 THE SANFL-PM ABC1 18,000 18,000
238 RUGBY LEAGUE: (QLD) 2010-PM ABC1 17,000 17,000
272 AFL CLASSICS 7TWO 10,000 1,000 9,000 0 0 0
275 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 1: GEELONG VS ESSENDON Seven 9,000 4,000 6,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

• by David Dale at 05:44 PM
• Comments (48)

WHO WE ARE: Great Lost Aussie Inventions, part one

To learn how women are different from men, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 21/3/2010
FUNNY how a smell can be a stronger sense memory than a sight or a sound. In this case, the smell was a mixture of salt and rubber, the sight was light green, and the sound was slurpy whooshing. I'm remembering the Surfo-Plane I used to ride at the beach in the 1960s. The other day I realised that it's a Great Lost Aussie Invention, and its creator is one of this nation's undersung heroes.

The undersung have been on my mind because the status of two or Australia's fully-sung heroes has been challenged in recent weeks - Harry "Breaker" Morant and Germaine Greer. Breaker Morant was a bush poet who, we thought, was a victim of British injustice when he was executed during the Boer War in 1902. The story until now was that he'd only been following British orders, but a War Memorial historian told an inquiry last week that Morant and his colleagues "were all guilty of cold-blooded murder of prisoners of war."

And we'd always thought of Germaine Greer as a visionary refresher of outmoded attitudes. But on the 40th anniversary of the appearance of her book The Female Eunuch, Greer is being described as "grotesque", "demented" and "a befuddled and exhausted old woman".

Many others will rush to defend Morant and Greer, ensuring their status as martyrs and icons, but who will speak up for Dr Ernest Smithers, if I don't?

At Sydney's Bronte Beach, he spent eight years developing the Surfo-Plane, a kind of fat blowup surfboard with handles, and was awarded a trademark by the Patent Office in 1933.

By the 1950s, S-o-Ps ruled Australia's waves, rented by the half hour at every beach and purchased as top Christmas present for every eight-year-old. By the 1970s, they had vanished, replaced by the boogie board.

The problem was that when it was deflated and stored in the cupboard over winter, the rubber interiors of the S-o-P would stick together, so you had to buy a new one next summer.

That perishabilty does not diminish the four-decade contribution of Ernest Smithers to Australian culture. He's an example of the undersung heroes we should start commemorating in the names of streets and suburbs across the nation.

A year ago this column wrote about a pioneer named Giuseppe Zuzza, who was the first person to bring tiramisu to this land. Now we learn that The Glebe Society has placed this plaque upon the wall of his former restaurant:

"The popularity of tiramisu started here at The Mixing Pot, when Giuseppe Zuzza was the proprietor. Giuseppe had been a waiter in Treviso, the town where tiramisu was invented in 1972 as a way of using up leftover coffee. He first served it in a Sydney restaurant, Darcy's, and it became his signature dish when he opened The Mixing Pot. Customers responded instantly to the layers of coffee-soaked sponge covered with mascarpone. Other restaurants copied it and the fad began. This plaque was presented to the Mixing Pot by the Glebe Society, prompted by articles written by David Dale in ... The Sun-Herald on 1 February, 2009."

Surely the inventor of the Surfo-Plane deserves at least a statue at Bronte Beach.

Who else should be honoured in this way? Go to Comments to offer your undersung nominations.

• by David Dale at 06:18 AM
• Comments (3)

The Who We Are update: Week 12

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To learn how women are different from men, go to The Tribal Mind.
To suggest Great Lost Aussie Inventions, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10am Sunday
Channel Seven won the week, largely because of the semi-finals of My Kitchen Rules. If this column's theory of a political link is correct, Kevin Rudd will rise in the opinion polls.

The prime time audience shares for the week went like this: SBSTWO 0.3%; ABC3 0.4%; ABC2 1.0; ONE 1.6; 7TWO 2.6; GO 2.7; SBS1 3.8; ABC1 11.3; Ten 14.5; All Pay Stations 16.7; Nine 20.2; Seven 22.6.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "The extra time period of the A-League Grand Final, in which Sydney FC beat Melbourne Victory 4-2 in penalty kicks, topped the week for subscription TV with 272,000 viewers (listed as Live: Football: A-League Post Game Show on FOX Sports). Live: NRL Wests Tigers v Sea Eagles was seen by 241,000 people, Live: Cricket: Test NZ v Aus 1st Test was watched by 163,000 people and Live: Rugby Union: S14 Reds v Force was viewed by 88,000 subscribers (all on FOX Sports).

"American Idol Performance Show on FOX8 was watched by 108,000 people, NCIS on TV1 was seen by 88,000 and That '70s Show on 111Hits had its best result of the year with 75,000 viewers. Coronation Street on UKTV was seen by 71,000 people, Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney Channel was viewed by 66,000 people and Megastructures: Icebreaker premiered on National Geographic with 61,000 viewers.

"In week 12, subscription TV channels had more viewers than any other network around Australia with 23.4% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 22.0% of all regional viewing and 58.1% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

Most timeshifted shows, week ending March 13
Description Overnight audience Consolidated audience 000's Increase % Increase
1 HOUSE Network TEN 854,000 978,000 124,000 14.50%
2 CRIMINAL MINDS Network 7 1,295,000 1,399,000 104,000 8.00%
3 GREY'S ANATOMY Network 7 1,050,000 1,150,000 100,000 9.50%
4 SURVIVOR: HEROES VS VILLAINS -EP1 Network 9 774,000 874,000 100,000 12.90%
5 BONES Network 7 1,270,000 1,369,000 99,000 7.80%
6 MIDSOMER MURDERS RPT Network ABC1 476,000 574,000 97,000 20.50%
7 BROTHERS & SISTERS Network 7 974,000 1,070,000 96,000 9.90%
8 THE GOOD WIFE Network TEN 1,084,000 1,177,000 94,000 8.60%
9 NCIS Network TEN 1,519,000 1,611,000 92,000 6.00%
10 V Network 9 1,295,000 1,386,000 91,000 7.00%

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,268,000 315,000 380,000 278,000 135,000 159,000
2 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 842,000 198,000 289,000 151,000 102,000 102,000
3 ABC NEWS-SA ABC1 808,000 235,000 259,000 174,000 39,000 102,000
4 M-FINDING NEMO Seven 787,000 215,000 273,000 118,000 87,000 95,000
5 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS Nine 765,000 231,000 205,000 146,000 76,000 108,000
6 BED OF ROSES ABC1 726,000 206,000 190,000 142,000 108,000 80,000
7 THE BILL ABC1 713,000 221,000 219,000 119,000 53,000 100,000
8 TEN NEWS AT FIVE SAT Ten 622,000 150,000 177,000 125,000 67,000 102,000
9 M-BRUCE ALMIGHTY Seven 612,000 170,000 230,000 103,000 45,000 64,000
10 BLUE MURDER ABC1 598,000 172,000 199,000 102,000 26,000 100,000
12 RUNAWAY VACATION -RPT Nine 517,000 145,000 139,000 103,000 58,000 73,000
13 DESTINATION: FIFA WORLD CUP RPT SBS ONE 465,000 124,000 154,000 102,000 33,000 52,000
15 MRS. DOUBTFIRE RPT Ten 433,000 116,000 151,000 78,000 36,000 52,000
27 IRON CHEF SBS ONE 266,000 74,000 100,000 43,000 16,000 33,000
37 SA STATE ELECTION: SA VOTES 2010 ABC1 179,000 179,000
55 M-TO SIR, WITH LOVE ABC2 138,000 24,000 37,000 44,000 11,000 22,000
68 NINE'S HORSE RACING Nine 108,000 30,000 43,000 14,000 10,000 10,000
{OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

• by David Dale at 08:52 AM
• Comments (47)

The Who We Are update: Week 11

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To discuss if Oscars boost Australian audiences, go to The Tribal Mind.
To explain why Australians don't report serious crimes, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10am Monday
Channel Nine won the week, largely because of the NRL in Sydney and Brisbane (Seven was on top until Thursday). If this column's theory of a political link is correct, Tony Abbott will rise in the opinion polls.

The prime time audience shares for the week went like this: SBSTWO 0.3%; ABC3 0.4%; ONE 0.8; ABC2 1.0; 7TWO 2.5; GO 2.7; SBS1 3.9; ABC1 11.8; Ten 15.1; All Pay Stations: 17.2; Seven 20.6; Nine 21.2.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "Some 257,000 viewers watched Live: NRL Sharks v Storm on FOX Sports and saw defending premiers Melbourne Storm beat the Cronulla Sharks in the first round of the 2010 National Rugby League competition. In other sport, 209,000 people watched the Australian and New Zealand cricket teams play each other in Live: Cricket: ODI NZ V Aus 5th ODI S2, 177,000 viewers saw Melbourne Victory earn a home ground grand final by beating Sydney FC during Live: Football: A-League Major SF Syd v Melb and 82,000 watched the ACT Brumbies prevail in Live: Rugby Union: S14 Brumbies v Sharks (all on FOX Sports). [This pic is designed to illustrate the reference to Aus v NZ cricket, and is in no way an attempt to exploit a personal tragedy involving two national icons]

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button premiered on Movie One with 133,000 viewers, NCIS had its best result of the year so far with 99,000 watching the program on TV1, Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney Channel also had a year-to-date largest audience with 99,000 viewers and the American Idol Performance Show on FOX8 was watched by 94,000 viewers. Movie Extra's live coverage of the Oscars, The 82nd Academy Awards Live 2010, was seen by 84,000 people, How I Met Your Mother on Arena was watched by 70,000 people and Property Ladder on Lifestyle Channel was seen by 69,000 people.

"In week 11, subscription TV channels had more viewers than any other network around Australia with 24.0% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 23.1% of all regional viewing and 59.3% of all viewing in subscription TV homes." (These figures seem at odds with OzTAM's earlier summary, which suggests Pay TV had only 17.2 pewr cent of the prime time audience. We are seeking clarification.)

Most timeshifted shows, week ending March 6
Description STN Overnight Consolidated 000's Increase % Increase
1 HOUSE TEN 772,000 901,000 129,000 16.70%
2 THE GOOD WIFE TEN 912,000 1,017,000 105,000 11.50%
3 MIDSOMER MURDERS RPT ABC1 460,000 560,000 100,000 21.80%
4 BROTHERS & SISTERS-TUE 7 887,000 980,000 93,000 10.50%
5 BONES 7 1,231,000 1,321,000 91,000 7.40%
6 NCIS TEN 1,365,000 1,454,000 89,000 6.50%
7 GREY'S ANATOMY 7 1,048,000 1,136,000 88,000 8.40%
8 CASTLE 7 907,000 994,000 87,000 9.60%
9 DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES 7 1,027,000 1,112,000 86,000 8.30%
10 BROTHERS & SISTERS 7 895,000 979,000 84,000 9.40%
11 CRIMINAL MINDS 7 1,264,000 1,348,000 84,000 6.60%
12 LOST 7TWO 186,000 262,000 76,000 41.20%
(OzTAM)

What Australia watched, week ending March 13
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 TWO AND A HALF MEN 9 1,588,000 340,000 636,000 310,000 126,000 177,000
2 NCIS TEN 1,519,000 423,000 416,000 296,000 168,000 217,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Network 7 1,471,000 336,000 503,000 326,000 123,000 183,000
4 MY KITCHEN RULES-TUE Network 7 1,462,000 361,000 522,000 271,000 154,000 154,000
5 BORDER SECURITY 7 1,444,000 389,000 413,000 286,000 156,000 200,000
6 AIR WAYS Network 7 1,434,000 413,000 403,000 271,000 141,000 205,000
7 MY KITCHEN RULES-MON Network 7 1,396,000 361,000 452,000 245,000 171,000 167,000
8 CUSTOMS Network 9 1,349,000 342,000 475,000 238,000 136,000 158,000
9 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Network 9 1,311,000 382,000 454,000 209,000 147,000 118,000
10 THE MENTALIST Network 9 1,310,000 369,000 457,000 230,000 99,000 155,000
11 V Network 9 1,295,000 401,000 382,000 240,000 100,000 172,000
12 CRIMINAL MINDS Network 7 1,295,000 314,000 364,000 272,000 140,000 205,000
13 THE BIG BANG THEORY Network 9 1,270,000 294,000 461,000 267,000 98,000 149,000
14 BONES Network 7 1,270,000 354,000 352,000 254,000 135,000 174,000
Continuedhere

• by David Dale at 06:06 AM
• Comments (55)

WHO WE ARE: Crime doesn't say

To learn how television tastes predict how you'll vote, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 7/3/2010
DON'T be a dobber. That's been a fundamental of Aussie etiquette for 220 years. It goes back to our convict founders, who knew the world was divided between Us and Them, and you never volunteered to one of Them what one of Us was doing, even if it was mass murder, because mate, whose side are you on? Since then, we've applied the principle in the playground, in the office, in the home and in politics.

This historical aversion to dobbing may explain the mystery contained in the report scarily titled Crime Victimisation Australia, just released by the Bureau of Statistics.

Between June 2008 and June 2009, The Bureau interviewed 25,600 people aged over 15 about whether they'd been robbed, bashed, raped or threatened. That's a massive sample from which to draw conclusions about the nation -- in television ratings, a sample of 3,000 households is used as the basis for billion dollar programming decisions.

As the statisticians would say, the data is reliable - and, at first sight, pretty reassuring. The nation of convicts is not in the grip of a crime wave. Only 3.1 per cent of people aged over 15 (527,400) said they had suffered a physical assault; only 0.6 per cent (96,700) had experienced a personal robbery; only 3.3 per cent of households (267,800) were victims of a break-in and only 1.1 per cent (91,000) had a car stolen. The crime that affected the greatest number of people was "malicious property damage", which happened to 11 per cent of households (912,500).

The bureau reports: "Types of property commonly damaged, defaced or destroyed in the most recent incident were exterior items - including walls, windows, doors and fences - (66%) and cars or other motor vehicles (29%)." Graffiti are a nuisance, but they hardly represent the decline and fall of the Roman Empire.

From that section of the report, I have derived this useful advice ...

How to minimise your chances of being a victim of crime:
1. Live in South Australia (low in all types of crime); 2 Be female; 3 Be over 65; 4 Live alone (The bureau reports: "62 per cent of people who experienced a physical assault knew the offender ... with 14% indicating that the offender was a member of their family" and "29% of the most recent physical assaults occurred at the victim's home"); 5 Be married (but presumably you'd have to live separately from your partner); 6 Don't own electronic or gardening equipment (the most commonly stolen items after money); 7 Get a job.

How to maximise your chances of being a victim of crime: 1 Live in the Northern Territory (highest rate of all crimes); 2 Be single; 3 Be male; 4 Be aged between 15 and 19; 5 Be unemployed.

The bureau reported: "The victimisation rates for physical assault were 8.7% for people aged 15-19 years ... compared with 0.4% for people aged 65 years and over. The victimisation rate was higher for people who were not married (5.3%) than for people who were married (1.7%). The victimisation rate was higher for people who were unemployed (7.1%) ... than for people employed full-time (3.3%) and people employed part-time (3.7%)."

But now we come to the mystery. While Australians are happy to regale researchers from the Bureau of Statistics with their experience of theft and violence, they show a marked reluctance to talk to those who might do something about it. Around one third of the horrors discussed were never reported.

As the bureau puts it: "The proportion of crime incidents people reported to police varied depending on the type of crime: 86 per cent for motor vehicle theft; 70 per cent for break-in; 39 per cent for physical assault; 36 per cent for malicious property damage; 23 per cent for robbery; 23 per cent for threatened assault."

So 61 per cent of people who are bashed and 77 per cent of people who are robbed don't tell the cops. Why not? I can imagine three possible explanations: 1 They've got something to hide; 2 They think it would be pointless, because Underbelly has led them to believe criminals are clever and cops are dumb or corrupt; 3 The anti-dobbing philosophy is so deeply ingrained in our culture that we're prepared to expose our fellow citizens to thugs and thieves rather than give evidence against them.

Go to Comments to offer your theory.

• by David Dale at 08:47 AM
• Comments (3)

The Who We Are update: Courtney goes down

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To learn how television tastes predict voting intention, go to The Tribal Mind.

To learn how Australia became the land of the short attention span, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
The decline of Cougar Town is more apparent than real. Despite being described as "a shit show" by David Leckie, the boss of Channel Seven, and dropping to No 43 in the weekly chart, Courtney Cox's sitcom is the most watched program of Thursday night with these demographics: women 16-39, men 25-54, and women 25-54. That's a strong incentive for advertisers, and a good reason for Seven to keep showing it in prime time. And as you'll see from the chart below, it's one of the most recorded prgrams each week. Go to Comments to tell us if it has got better or worse, now that it has settled in.

The prime time audience shares for the week went like this: SBSTWO 0.5%; ABC3 0.5%; ONE 0.8; ABC2 1.5; 7TWO 3.4; GO 3.4; SBS1 5.0; ABC1 14.7; Ten 19.0; Nine 25.5; Seven 26.6.

And thiw waw Pay TV's account of itself: "Live: Cricket: Twenty20: NZ v Aus Game 2 on FOX Sports topped the week for subscription TV, when 314,000 viewers watched New Zealand narrowly beat Australia in an "extra time" over. In other cricket, 244,000 people watched Australia beat NZ in the second one day international, Live: Cricket: ODI NZ v Aus 2nd ODI, 183,000 watched Football: Premier League World, 151,000 watched Live: Football: AFC Asian Cup Qualifier Aus v Ind and 123,000 watched Live: Rugby Union: S14 Waratahs v Sharks (all on FOX Sports).

"America's Next Top Model on FOX8 was viewed by 104,000 people, NCIS on TV1 was seen by 81,000 people and Two And A Half Men on Arena was watched by 76,000 viewers. Jesse Stone: Death in Paradise premiered on 13th Street with 76,000 viewers, SpongeBob SquarePants had 72,000 viewers on Nickelodeon and Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney Channel was watched by 69,000 people.

"In week 10, subscription TV channels won the week with 24.3% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 22.9% of all regional viewing and 60.4% of all viewing in subscription TV homes. "

What Australia timeshifted, week ending February 27
Description STN Overnight Consolidated 000's Increase % Increase
1 NCIS Network TEN 1,386,000 1,508,000 122,000 8.80%
2 BROTHERS & SISTERS 7 849,000 970,000 121,000 14.30%
3 DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES 7 937,000 1,043,000 106,000 11.30%
4 DOCTOR WHO: THE END OF TIME Part 2 ABC1 842,000 944,000 102,000 12.10%
5 HOUSE TEN 969,000 1,070,000 101,000 10.50%
6 BROTHERS & SISTERS-TUE 7 852,000 952,000 100,000 11.70%
7 CRIMINAL MINDS 7 1,201,000 1,298,000 97,000 8.10%
8 COUGAR TOWN 7 1,017,000 1,113,000 96,000 9.40%
9 THE GOOD WIFE TEN 1,260,000 1,353,000 92,000 7.30%
10 BONES 7 1,156,000 1,236,000 80,000 6.90%
11 GREY'S ANATOMY 7 1,019,000 1,099,000 80,000 7.90%
12 BLUE MURDER ABC1 550,000 630,000 80,000 14.50%
(OzTAM mainland capitals

What Australia watched, week ending March 6
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,436,000 392,000 500,000 273,000 105,000 165,000
2 MY KITCHEN RULES-MON Seven 1,410,000 383,000 443,000 277,000 160,000 147,000
3 MY KITCHEN RULES-TUE Seven 1,406,000 352,000 462,000 274,000 158,000 159,000
4 TOP GEAR -EP1 Nine 1,385,000 385,000 402,000 281,000 144,000 174,000
5 NCIS Ten 1,365,000 402,000 341,000 265,000 157,000 201,000
6 AIR WAYS Seven 1,354,000 391,000 433,000 238,000 145,000 146,000
7 THE MENTALIST Nine 1,351,000 430,000 428,000 237,000 118,000 138,000
8 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,345,000 324,000 385,000 293,000 165,000 178,000
9 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,344,000 339,000 387,000 326,000 125,000 168,000
10 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,299,000 266,000 459,000 302,000 112,000 161,000
11 WICKED LOVE: THE MARIA KORP STORY Nine 1,299,000 360,000 527,000 203,000 111,000 97,000

• by David Dale at 09:34 AM
• Comments (60)

The Who We Are update: Week 9

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
House and Despos are hits with the timeshifters, but if the timeshifters fast-forward through the ads, why should the networks care about the extra audience? Which leads to a fundamental issue: how do the makers of TV commercials stop people from fast-forwarding? For the background on all this, and to discuss your playback habits, go to Lets do the timeshift.

To nominate television's most annoying, overhyped and underrated people and programs, go to The Bogies 2010.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
The week doesn't really count towards the year's official ratings, because the winter Olympics are a special event, but for what it's worth, the prime time audience shares went like this: SBSTWO 0.4%; ABC3 0.5%; ONE 0.9; ABC2 1.3; 7TWO 3.3; GO 3.4; SBS1 4.8; ABC1 14.6; Ten 19.7; Seven 25.2; Nine 26.8.

This was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "On Saturday night, the Mardi Gras Special on Arena brought the colour and spectacle of the 2010 Sydney Mardi Gras parade to 133,000 viewers around Australia. Family Guy on Fox8 was watched by 109,000 people, The American Idol Performance Show on FOX8 was watched by 103,000, Zack And Miri Make A Porno premiered on Movie One with 77,000 and How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? was watched by 72,000 on UKTV. NCIS on TV1 was watched by 72,000, Property Ladder on LifeStyle Channel was seen by 65,000 and Helen West on 13th Street was watched by 64,000 viewers.

"In sport, Live: Cricket: Twenty20: NZ v Aus Game 1 on FOX Sports was watched by 189,000 people and 180,000 watched the Dragons and Rabbitohs play the traditional Rugby League season opener in Live: Rugby League: Charity Shield. Live: AFL: NAB Cup Geelong v North Melb was seen by 157,000 people, Live: Rugby Union: S14 Reds v Blues was watched by 106,000 people, Live: Football: EPL Chelsea v Man City was viewed by 68,000 and Live: Football: A-League Semi Final by 65,000 people (all on FOX Sports).

"In week 9, subscription TV channels accounted for 22.9% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 21.7% of all regional viewing and 57.0% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia recorded in the week ending February 20 and watched within seven days
Description Overnight audience Consolidated audience 000's Increase % Increase
1 HOUSE Network TEN 946,000 1,081,000 135,000 14.20%
2 THE GOOD WIFE Network TEN 1,208,000 1,308,000 100,000 8.30%
3 GREY'S ANATOMY Network 7 866,000 963,000 97,000 11.20%
4 DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Network 7 1,087,000 1,183,000 96,000 8.80%
5 CASTLE Network 7 963,000 1,059,000 96,000 10.00%
6 CRIMINAL MINDS Network 7 1,095,000 1,186,000 91,000 8.30%
7 BROTHERS & SISTERS Network 7 903,000 993,000 89,000 9.90%
8 BONES Network 7 1,251,000 1,339,000 88,000 7.10%
9 NCIS Network TEN 1,369,000 1,457,000 88,000 6.40%
10 TOP GEAR -EP1 Network 9 1,685,000 1,772,000 86,000 5.10%
11 GREY'S ANATOMY-EP.2 Network 7 911,000 995,000 84,000 9.20%
12 DOCTOR WHO: THE END OF TIME Network ABC1 803,000 885,000 82,000 10.20%
13 COUGAR TOWN Network 7 1,093,000 1,168,000 75,000 6.90%
14 THE MENTALIST Network 9 1,231,000 1,306,000 74,000 6.00%
15 BURN NOTICE Network TEN 423,000 495,000 72,000 16.90%
16 LOST Network 7TWO 180,000 247,000 67,000 37.20%
17 MONTY PYTHON: ALMOST THE TRUTH THE LAWYER'S CUT-EV Network ABC1 806,000 867,000 61,000 7.50%
18 SILENT WITNESS Network ABC1 933,000 993,000 60,000 6.40%
19 LAW AND ORDER: SVU Network TEN 904,000 961,000 57,000 6.30%
20 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER Network 7 897,000 952,000 55,000 6.10%
(OzTAM mainland capitals)

What Australia watched, week ending February 27
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,397,000 374,000 481,000 259,000 110,000 173,000
2 NCIS Ten 1,384,000 399,000 374,000 264,000 154,000 193,000
3 MY KITCHEN RULES-TUE Seven 1,355,000 330,000 422,000 252,000 179,000 172,000
4 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,292,000 364,000 351,000 274,000 129,000 173,000
5 THE MENTALIST Nine 1,279,000 393,000 421,000 202,000 110,000 153,000
6 CUSTOMS Nine 1,276,000 374,000 380,000 241,000 114,000 166,000
7 BORDER SECURITY Seven 1,274,000 308,000 385,000 249,000 156,000 176,000
8 AIR WAYS Seven 1,267,000 311,000 399,000 248,000 149,000 161,000
9 THE GOOD WIFE Ten 1,260,000 347,000 355,000 260,000 117,000 180,000
10 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,247,000 311,000 368,000 241,000 154,000 174,000

• by David Dale at 11:27 PM
• Comments (45)

WHO WE ARE: Addicted to surprise

To find out what Australians are reading -- and what they're no longer reading -- go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 21/2/2010
What you're about to read is just between us, OK? I want your feedback on an idea for a best-selling book, but if it gets around, somebody will steal it. So mum's the word.

The book would be called A.D.D. Nation - How neophilia consumed Australia. The ADD in the title refers not only to Attention Deficit Disorder but also our compulsion to add new experiences to our lives at an ever-increasing rate. Ten years ago most homes had a radio, a telly, a VCR and a landline. Now we've got three plasma screens, two DVD players, a games box, iPods, iPhones, and a high speed internet connection. Ten years ago most of us knew the food of Italy, France, and China. Now we chase a new culinary culture every week - Moroccan, Thai, Brazilian, Bengali, north Indian, south Japanese, Greek island, Burmese, Szechuan, and Hunan.

It's wonderfully open-minded of us, but is the search for The Next Big Thing happening too fast? The book would suggest Australians are so ADDicted to constant change we're about to rush over a cliff. Come to think of it, the title could be Land of Lemmingtons. What do you reckon?

I would raise this scenario: Because we have become Early Discarders as well as Early Adopters, we are at risk of burning through our stock of competent politicians before they've had a chance to be useful. It took us 10 years to get bored with John Howard, but only two years to get bored with Kevin Rudd (if current opinion polls are to be believed). He doesn't surprise us any more.

That means we'll discard him simply because he is less new than Tony Abbott. The only way Labor could prevent defeat would be to replace Rudd with Julia Gillard three months before the election. Labor won't do that, so Abbott will become the new prime minister.

But next year the Liberals will need to feed our appetite for novelty by replacing him with Joe Hockey. Labor will discard Julia Gillard as Opposition leader because she'll be old news by the 2013 election.

My reflections on whether it's all happening too fast were prompted by reader reaction to what this column said last month. I published a list of comparisons between the old Australia and the new Australia, suggesting this is a different country from 20 years ago. The contrasts included Chiko roll/ chicken wrap; lamington/ tiramisu; Eddie McGuire/ Shaun Micallef; tea with milk and sugar/ skim latte; dripping/ olive oil; Hey Dad/ Packed to the Rafters.

Nola wrote: "I agree Australia is a more interesting country now than in 1960. However, speed, convenience, and instant everything -- including gratification -- seem to rule supreme."

Graeme Tutt wrote: "We've become more open, sophisticated and multicultural, which makes Oz more vibrant, interesting & deep. Yet we have incredibly high expectations of life and a high standard of living that can't be sustained."

Mike Williams wrote: "As a baby boomer I have embraced the wave of change known as the sixties and beyond, but I can't help feeling a little anxious when ... Yo-Yos became a Nintendo DS; Mental Arithmetic became the calculator; Anonymity became celebrity obsession; School spirit became what's in it for me?; Self-discipline became legislation, by-laws and ordinances; The six oclock swill became teenage binge drinking; Shopping became a national pastime; A lottery ticket became a scratchie, Lotto, Oz Lotto and Powerball; The backyard became a courtyard; Parents became child micro-managers."

Many readers lamented the constant craving for new stimulation, and wondered if it might be time to just slow down. Hence the book idea -- except of course, if our national attention span really has become as short as I suspect, nobody will have the patience to read a book anyway. I'm lucky you got this far in the column. Tell us what you think at Comments.

• by David Dale at 04:26 PM
• Comments (4)

The Who We Are update: Week 8

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To learn why Labor needs to replace Kevin Rudd with Julia Gillard, go to Who We Are.

To find out what Australians are reading -- and what they're no longer reading -- go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
Top Gear rather than the Olympics caused Channel Nine to win the week, and even then it was close. These were the prime time audience shares: SBSTWO 0.4%; ABC3 0.5%; ONE 0.9; ABC2 1.5; 7TWO 3.2; GO 3.3; SBS1 4.7; ABC1 14.4; Ten 18.5; Seven 26.0; Nine 26.6.

Not everybody loved Top Gear. With women 25-54, the week's top shows were My Kitchen Rules, Grey's Anatomy and The Good Wife. With people over 55, the top shows were Seven news, Border Security and ABC News. Funny how the viewers with the shortest future are the ones most interested in the state of the world.

This was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "On Monday night, 149,000 viewers watched FOX Sports' live coverage of Live: Cricket: The Allan Border Medal. At the event, all-rounder Shane Watson was recognised as the best cricketer in Australia for the year, just beating Michael Clarke and Mitchell Johnson for the honour. In other sport, Live: AFL: NAB Cup Bulldogs v Lions was seen 111,000 people, Live: Cricket: Ford Ranger Cup was viewed by 108,000 people, Live: Rugby Union: S14 Reds v Crusaders by 107,000 and Live: Football: A-League Sydney v Melb by 92,000 (all on FOX Sports).

"In entertainment programming, 115,000 watched The Simpsons on Fox8, 108,000 saw American Idol Hollywood Show on FOX8, 93,000 watched America's Next Top Model (also on FOX8) and Gran Torino premiered on Movie One with 96,000 viewers. How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? picked up its biggest ever audience on UKTV with 82,000 viewers, Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney Channel was viewed by 79,000 people, SpongeBob SquarePants on Nickelodeon had its best result of the year with 74,000 people and NCIS on TV1 was seen by 69,000 viewers.

"In week 8, subscription TV channels accounted for 22.6% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 20.6% of all regional viewing and 55.5% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending February 20
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 TOP GEAR -EP1 Nine 1,681,000 436,000 522,000 330,000 180,000 213,000
2 MY KITCHEN RULES-MON Seven 1,471,000 353,000 463,000 292,000 201,000 162,000
3 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,412,000 429,000 489,000 220,000 147,000 128,000
4 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,392,000 346,000 368,000 302,000 167,000 209,000
5 NCIS Ten 1,366,000 423,000 371,000 287,000 130,000 155,000
6 AIR WAYS Seven 1,365,000 364,000 407,000 260,000 160,000 174,000
7 BORDER SECURITY Seven 1,365,000 373,000 430,000 244,000 141,000 177,000
8 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,330,000 339,000 399,000 305,000 110,000 177,000
9 CUSTOMS Nine 1,277,000 342,000 397,000 262,000 109,000 168,000
10 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,263,000 295,000 360,000 264,000 155,000 190,000
11 BONES Seven 1,250,000 353,000 359,000 219,000 158,000 161,000
12 TOP GEAR -SPECIAL Nine 1,241,000 330,000 353,000 209,000 151,000 199,000
13 THE MENTALIST Nine 1,230,000 354,000 363,000 240,000 116,000 156,000
14 MY KITCHEN RULES-TUE Seven 1,214,000 336,000 373,000 239,000 121,000 144,000
15 THE GOOD WIFE Ten 1,207,000 355,000 346,000 216,000 113,000 177,000

• by David Dale at 07:31 PM
• Comments (63)

The Who We Are update: Week 7

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To learn how Australians are recording to view later, go to Lets do the timeshift.

The ratings race, updated 10am Monday
This was Pay TV's Mills-and-Boon-influenced account of itself for the week: "On the most romantic day of the year, subscription TV celebrated the devotion shown by subscribers when STV channels accounted for 23.2% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 21.0% of all regional viewing and 56.6% of all viewing in subscription TV homes during week 7, 2010.

"Viewers showed their affection for STV sport when 109,000 people watched Port Power thrash the Adelaide Crows in the opening round of the NAB Cup on Live: AFL: NAB Cup Adelaide v Port Adel and 109,000 people watched the NSW Waratahs come from behind to defeat the Queensland Reds in the final play of the game in Live: Rugby Union: S14 Reds v Waratahs (both on FOX Sports). Live: Cricket: Ford Ranger Cup on FOX Sports was watched by 69,000 people, Sky Raceday on Sky Racing by 56,000 people and Live: Football: A-League Perth v Bris on FOX Sports was seen by 51,000.

"Viewers also showed their fondness for STV's entertainment programs when 126,000 people watched American Idol Hollywood Show on FOX8. In addition, 126,000 people saw Midsomer Murders on UKTV and 112,000 subscribers viewed America's Next Top Model on FOX8. Come Dine With Me Australia on Lifestyle Channel was watched this week by 85,000, Taggart on 13th Street by 71,000 and How I Met Your Mother on Arena by 67,000 people.

What people aged 18 to 49 watched, week ending 13/2/2010
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 COUGAR TOWN Seven 817,000 260,000 221,000 168,000 83,000 85,000
2 THE GOOD WIFE Ten 757,000 222,000 201,000 177,000 59,000 98,000
3 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 742,000 213,000 217,000 183,000 49,000 80,000
4 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER Seven 707,000 217,000 192,000 154,000 69,000 75,000
5 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 685,000 188,000 226,000 143,000 44,000 84,000
6 NCIS Ten 643,000 188,000 167,000 133,000 58,000 97,000
7 THE BIG BANG THEORY Nine 627,000 168,000 209,000 137,000 31,000 82,000
8 HOUSE Ten 609,000 206,000 154,000 141,000 60,000 49,000
9 MY KITCHEN RULES-TUE Seven 604,000 178,000 145,000 134,000 64,000 84,000
10 DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Seven 590,000 160,000 180,000 115,000 52,000 83,000
11 GREY'S ANATOMY Seven 580,000 167,000 136,000 144,000 64,000 68,000
12 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA - SHOWCASE Ten 576,000 175,000 161,000 133,000 47,000 61,000

• by David Dale at 10:46 AM
• Comments (70)

WHO WE ARE: There once was a limerick contest/ From which we have chosen the ten best ...

... We hope ute and chilli,
Weren't requirements too silly.
And thank you for joining the love fest.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 7/2/2010
The task was to compose a limerick that included the words chilli and ute. The prize for the ten wittiest was a copy of The Little Book of Australia. The total number of entries was 206.

Some readers transcended the temptation to rhyme the key words with willy and root; many found ways to make political statements; and several took the opportunity to dispute answers in the patriotic quiz this column constructed two weeks ago. For example, a question on who invented the Paddle Pop provoked this response:

"Dear David, As the great nieces of Edwin Street we definitely knew the answer to this question. But to our horror our answer did not correspond to your answer. We were the original taste testers of the Paddle Pop which was invented by our father, Ronald Street, the nephew of Edwin (better known as Ted). Ted actually told our father it would be 'a nine day wonder'. Our father proved Ted wrong as the Paddle Pop has been around for over 50 years. We will buy the next version of your Little Book of Australia when the correction has been made! Jennifer, Fiona and Philippa Street."

I will send the Street sisters a copy of The Little Book, with the correction made by hand, and also give their father due recognition (along with their great-uncle) in the next edition. Their online comment inspired our first winner:

David Dale's quiz had some offended,
With a few answers that must be amended.
The three sisters Street
Gave some Paddle Pop heat.
Dave, your chilli-red ute's been rear-ended
(Suzanne)

In no particular order, these were the other recipients of The Little Book of Australia:

There once was a bowlful of chilli.
Aussies ate it and didn't feel silly.
They loved all the changes,
Different cultures and strangers,
And became friends in their Honda or ute.
(Amanda Taura)

Bruce and his mates in the ute
Gave chilli and tofu the boot.
They ran up the flags,
Barbied lamb and some snags,
Made burgers, of course, with beetroot!
(Kerrie Mead)

Kev once had a car-dealer ute,
That some people said was just loot.
Fair suck of the chilli!
The electorate is hilly.
How else was he meant to commute?
(Caz)

There once was a bloke with a ute
All the chicks thought it was beaut.
He liked to cook chilli
And show them his willy,
And sometimes it got him a root
(John & Sofia Wheeler)

There was a young man in a ute.
Was camped by a billabong, mute.
'Cause under the shade
Not some tea he had made
But spag bol, with chilli to boot!
(Pommie Git)

We Aussies are known for invention.
The ute's an example worth mention,
And the hoist made by Hilly,
Maybe spag bol with chilli.
But pavlova and thongs are exemption(s).
(Philip Kendall)

Oz bloke and shiela in ute.
Kids, dog and esky to boot.
Multicultural chilli.
Tea from the billi.
Our cuisine these days is a hoot!
(Graham Wood)

The ute, a type of a car,
Does not define who we are.
And equally silly
Is the notion that chilli
Projects our image afar.
(Greg Raffin)

There once was a farmer called Willi
Who planted genetically modified chilli.
When it started to shoot,
It devoured his ute.
I hope no one else is so silly!
(Ria Jansen)

You can read every entry, including the ones sent in by email, by going to limericks and more limericks.

To discuss why Avatar won't make $100 million, why Kristina Keneally will win the NSW election, and/ or why MasterChef won't get the same audience this year, go to The Tribal Mind.

• by David Dale at 05:50 AM
• Comments (5)

The Who We Are Update: The last week of TV's sleepy summer

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
For the winners of the Australia Day limerick contest, go to Who We Are.
To discuss why Avatar won't make $100 million, why Keneally will win the NSW election, and why MasterChef won't get the same audience this year, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
This was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "The American Idol Auditions was the number one program on STV in week 6, with 157,000 viewers watching the program on FOX8 on Thursday night. Midsomer Murders on UKTV was seen by 111,000 people, America's Next Top Model on FOX8 was watched by 105,000 and Bryan's episode of Come Dine With Me Australia on Lifestyle Channel was viewed by 104,000 people. Law & Order: SVU on TV1 was seen by 90,000 people, Hannah Montana on Disney Channel was seen by 78,000 people and Two and a Half Men on Arena was watched by 76,000 people. Taggart on 13th Street was seen by 68,000 people, iCarly on Nickelodeon by 67,000 viewers and Judge Judy on Bio by 62,000 subscribers.

"In sport, Live: Cricket: Ford Ranger Cup on FOX Sports was seen by 79,000 people, Sky Racing's Sky Raceday was seen by 66,000 viewers and Live: Football: EPL Liverpool v Everton on FOX Sports was viewed by 65,000. Subscription TV was the number one choice for TV around Australia with STV channels accounting for 23.2% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 21.8% of all regional viewing and 57.1% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Women aged 25-54 watched, week ending February 6
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 TENNIS: 2010 AUST OPEN - MEN'S FINAL Seven 556,000 200,000 196,000 89,000 38,000 34,000
2 GREY'S ANATOMY-EP.2 Seven 520,000 141,000 141,000 118,000 56,000 64,000
3 GREY'S ANATOMY Seven 458,000 127,000 121,000 106,000 50,000 54,000
4 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA - TOP 100 Ten 427,000 133,000 124,000 74,000 47,000 50,000
5 DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Seven 405,000 115,000 126,000 78,000 38,000 48,000
6 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - LAUNCH Ten 404,000 108,000 123,000 86,000 38,000 50,000
7 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA - AUDITION 1 Ten 402,000 95,000 114,000 89,000 49,000 55,000
8 HOUSE EP 2 Ten 388,000 92,000 99,000 93,000 56,000 48,000
9 BROTHERS & SISTERS Seven 387,000 119,000 117,000 69,000 40,000 43,000
10 HOUSE Ten 378,000 92,000 91,000 93,000 54,000 49,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 09:26 AM
• Comments (58)

WHO WE ARE: Welcome to your new country

To discuss if we should move from the cultural cringe to the cultural strut, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 24/1/2010
They don't get it, they just don't get it. Too many people have yet to work out that Australia in 2010 is a different country from Australia in 1960 - as different as France is from Italy or Vietnam is from Thailand.

I don't mean we speak a different language - though that's partly true. It's more a matter of tastes, attitudes and beliefs. When was the last time you ate a lamington? When was the last time you called a woman a sheila, unless with tongue-in-cheek? Or quoted a line from The Man From Snowy River? Or discussed Don Bradman's batting average? Or admired Paul Hogan? Or ordered a cup of tea or a schooner of Toohey's?

But many of the broadcasters of this land seem not to have noticed this change. Over the past two weeks I've been promoting a new release called The Little Book of Australia, which attempts to portray this nation in the 21st century. I've been answering questions from talk jocks who live in a world of nostalgia. One asked: "David, tell us how Australia has changed in 50 years - I hope not much." I replied that Australia had transformed from one of the most boring places on the planet to one of the most interesting, because we embraced change. We became early adopters of new ideas in technology, food, entertainment and people. The love of novelty is now part of the national character - not something that would have been said about Australia in 1960.

The book's subtitle is "A snapshot of who we are", and it's no coincidence that it includes the name of this column. This reflects the help I've received in the past five years from hundreds of readers who went to the web page and offered insights. Now I'm seeking your input again. Please study the list below, then go to Comments and add your own comparisons ...

The old Australia/ The new Australia
Chiko roll/ Chicken wrap.
Eddie McGuire/ Shaun Micallef.
Owyagoin?/ Wassup?
Tea with milk and sugar/ Skim latte.
Kerry Packer/ Kerry Stokes.
Pizza with pineapple and ham/ Pizza with figs and prosciutto.
Hey Hey It's Saturday/ Thank God You're Here.
Passionfruit pavlova/ Mango gelato.
Police arresting participants in Mardi Gras/ Police becoming participants in Mardi Gras.
Albert Namitjira/ Emily Kngwarreye.
Ben Ean Moselle/ Oyster Bay sauvignon blanc.
Hey Dad/ Packed To The Rafters.
Tomato sauce/ Tomato paste.
Soy sauce/ Chilli sauce.
Fast Forward/ The Chaser's War on Everything.
Crocodile Dundee/ Mao's Last Dancer.
Bob Hawke/ Julia Gillard.
Sweet and sour pork/ Pad Thai noodles.
John Laws/ Kyle Sandilands.
Don Bradman/ Shane Warne.
Sheila/ Chick.
Bloke/ Guy.
Dag/ Retard.
VCR/ DVD.
Iced Vo Vos/ Tim tams.
Barry Humphries/ Chris Lilley.
Fish and chips/ Sushi.
Geoffrey Blainey/ Tim Flannery.
Homicide/ Underbelly.
Bert Newton/ Hamish Blake.
Chicken Maryland/ Butter chicken.
Mel Gibson/ Sam Worthington.
Meat pie/ Gozleme with mince beef.
Kylie Minogue/ Ruby Rose.
Vegemite/ Nutella.
Thongs/ Havianas.
John Farnham/ Guy Sebastian
Corn flakes/ Muesli.
The transistor radio/ The iPod.
Lamingtons/ Cupcakes.

While you're extending the list at Comments, below, tell us which transformations were for the better and which for the worse.

To win a copy of The Little Book of Australia, go to The patriotic quiz.

• by David Dale at 11:33 PM
• Comments (23)

The Big 50: A patriotic quiz

To compare 21st century Australia with 20th century Australia, go to Another country.

This week Sun-Herald columnist David Dale releases The Little Book of Australia, which summarises everything you need to know about the carefree country in the 21st century. To mark our national day, he has constructed a slightly tongue-in-cheek quiz that tests whether or not you need the book, and he offers a chance for 10 readers to win copies.

Give yourself 1 point for each correct answer. A perfect score would be 80. A total of less than 50 means you should go back to school, move to New Zealand, or try to win the contest in the final question. Go here for the answers (but not yet), and below for the limericks.

1. What's the population today?

2. Give the sources of these expressions: "Not happy, Jan"; "Puck you, miss"; "Tell 'em they're dreamin".

3. What percentage of Australians say they are: a) Muslim; b) Buddhist; c) "No religion".

4. Where are the Big Banana, the Big Merino, the Big Pineapple?

5. Who is this: "Cut and come again is his name, and cut and come again is his nature"?

6. Identify this person, and rank him in order of popularity against Magda Szubanski and Hugh Jackman (as measured by the Q-scores survey)

7. What percentage of couples cohabit before marriage?

8. What was the bilby originally called?

9. What is the national dish - as in, the meal Australians say they cook most often at home?

10. What are the two fastest growing cities in the land?

11. Match these athletes with their sports: a) Layne Beachley; b) Betty Cuthbert; c) Sarah Fitz-Gerald; d) Anne Sargeant; e) Karrie Webb. 1) running; 2) golf; 3) squash; 4) surfing; 5) netball.

12. Name, in order, the three most common causes of death.

13. What are the national colours, the national flower and the national gemstone?

14. Name this woman. She is to women's liberation as [Man's Name?] is to animal liberation.

15. What percentage of Australians agree with this statement: "A woman should have the right to choose whether or not she has an abortion"?

16. What was the most watched non-sporting TV program of the 21st century? And of the 20th century?

17. Complete these phrases: "Flash as ..." ; "I'll rip yer ..." ; "Wouldn't shout in ..."

18. They starred in the most successful Australian film of the decade. Name them and it.

19. Who invented: the bionic ear; controlled crying; the black box flight recorder?

20. In the line "the colt from old Regret had got away", was old Regret a ranch or a horse? What was the colt worth?

21. Which of these politicians is not a practising catholic - Malcolm Turnbull, Tony Abbott, Kristina Keneally, Joe Hockey, Barry O'Farrell?

22. Who smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich?

23. What is Australia's top selling beer? And wine?

24. Underbelly was the story of which Melbourne crime family? And which would-be crime boss?

25. Who led the Aboriginal rebellion against the British invasion between 1790 and 1802?

26. What percentage of births are to unmarried mothers?

27. Name this icon, and its inventor. While you're at it, name the inventors of Vegemite and the Paddle Pop.

28. What four words came after the phrase: "That's not a knife; THAT's a knife"? In what film?

29. What is Australia's tallest mountain, tallest building?

30. The highest price paid for an Australian painting was $3.48 million. What was it?

31. Which capital has the highest salary earners, the longest life expectancy and the most same-sex partnerships?

32. What do we have to share with those who've come across the seas?

33. What are Akubra hats made from?

34. Each year, every Australian consumes 64kg of what vegetable?

35. What suburb is Edna Everage from?

36. Made with sultana, gordo and muscat grapes, which wine sold seven million bottles a year in the early 1970s?

37. Who was the greatest batsman of all time and what was his Test batting average?

38. Which prime ministers do we associate with these phrases: "the recession we had to have"; "relaxed and comfortable"; "fair shake of the sauce bottle".

39. Which country gave us thongs, pavlova and our top-selling wine?

40. On what does the average adult spend 21 hours and 48 minutes a week? And nine hours and 24 minutes a week on what?

41. What company created The Loud Shirt?

42. According to testing by the Bureau of Statistics, what percentage of Australians lack skills that are "the minimum required to meet the complex demands of everyday life"?

43. Name these men. Why was the one on the left banned from live television in 1975?

44. How much do we put through poker machines each year? How much do we win back?

45. Who is Australia's top selling author?

46. By what other names were the gumnut babies Snugglepot and Cuddlepie known?

47. By what other names are the radio presenters John Doyle and Greg Pickaver known?

48. What do Elizabeth Blackburn; Patrick White and Barry Marshall have in common?

49. To what did iSnack2.0 change its name?

50. Compose a limerick (five lines) that includes the words "ute" and "chilli". The 10 wittiest works will win copies of The Little Book of Australia. Go down to Comments to lodge your entry. And go to The answers to check yourself on the other 49 questions (you can also lodge your limerick there).

To discuss if we should move from the cultural cringe to the cultural strut, go to The Tribal Mind.
To compare 21st century Australia with 20th century Australia, go to Who We Are.

• by David Dale at 06:49 PM
• Comments (83)

The patriotic quiz: Answers

To compare 21st century Australia with 20th century Australia, go to Who We Are.
To discuss if we should move from the cultural cringe to the cultural strut, go to The Tribal Mind.

Below are the answers to an Australia Day quiz, in which the 50th question could win you a copy of The Little Book of Australia. Go here for the questions -- because there's not a lot of point in reading the answers without them.

1. 22,128,000.
2. TV ad for the Yellow Pages; Jonah in Summer Heights High; Darryl Kerrigan in The Castle.
3. a) 1.7 per cent; b) 2.1 per cent; c) 19 per cent.
4. Coffs Harbour, NSW; Goulburn NSW; Nambour Qld.
5. Albert, The Magic Pudding.
6. 1 Hamish Blake; 2 Hugh Jackman; 3 Magda Szubanski.
7. 74 per cent.
8. The rabbit eared bandicoot
9. Spaghetti bolognese.
10. Perth and Cairns.
11. a4; b1; c3; d5; e2.
12. Cancer, heart disease, stroke.
13. Green and gold; the golden wattle; the opal.
14. Germaine Greer; Peter Singer.
15. 84 per cent
16. MasterChef winner announced; Diana Spencer's funeral.
17. A rat with a gold tooth; bloody arms off; a shark attack.
18. Nicole Kidman and Brandon Walters; Australia.
19. Graeme Clark; Christopher Green; David Warren.
20. A horse; a thousand pound (in The Man From Snowy River).
21. None.
22. A man in Brussels (in the song Down Under).
23. VB; Oyster Bay sauvignon blanc.
24. The Morans; Carl Williams.
25. Pemulwuy.
26. 32 per cent.
27. Chiko roll - Frank McEnroe; Vegemite - Cyril Callister; Paddle Pop - Edwin Street. 28. "Just kids having fun." Crocodile Dundee.
29. Kosciusko; Q1 on the Gold Coast.
30. Brett Whiteley's "The Olgas for Ernest Giles".
31. Canberra.
32. Boundless plains.
33. Rabbit skins
34. Potatoes.
35. Moonee Ponds, Melbourne.
36. Ben ean moselle.
37. Don Bradman; 99.94 runs.
38. Paul Keating; John Howard; Kevin Rudd.
39. New Zealand.
40. Watching TV; the internet.
41. Mambo.
42. 68 per cent.
43. Graham Kennedy, Stephen Curry. Doing a crow call that started with F.
44. $80 billion. $70 billion.
45. Bryce Courtenay
46. Bib and Bub.
47. Roy Slaven and H. G Nelson.
48. The Nobel Prize.
49. Cheesybite.
50. Put your limerick into comments

• by David Dale at 05:28 PM
• Comments (23)

The Who We Are update: The last weeks of the silly season

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss why Love Actually is all around, and the other DVDs in most Australian homes, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
This was pay TV's account of itself for the week: "The American Idol Auditions in Los Angeles set a new record for the program with 173,000 viewers on FOX8 on Wednesday night. Midsomer Murders on UKTV was watched by 131,000 people, America's Next Top Model on FOX8 had 109,000 viewers and Law & Order: SVU on TV1 was watched by 95,000 people. Taggart on 13th Street was watched by 91,000 people, Come Dine With Me Australia on Lifestyle was seen by 91,000 viewers and As The Bell Rings on Disney Channel had 90,000 viewers. Hoarders on Bio had the best ever result for the program with 79,000 viewers, Saturday's First Edition on Sky News had 69,000 viewers and Toddlers and Tiaras premiered on Lifestyle You with 65,000 viewers.

"In sport, Sky Racing's Sky Raceday was seen by 74,000 people, Live: Football: A-League Newc v Sydney on FOX Sports was watched by 63,000 people and Live: Cricket: Ford Ranger Cup on FOX Sports was viewed by 54,000 people.

"Subscription TV channels accounted for 23.1% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 21.6% of all regional viewing and 57.5% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What viewers aged 16-39 watched, week ending January 30, 2010
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 TENNIS: 2010 AUST OPEN - DAY 8 NIGHT SESSION Seven 485,000 153,000 164,000 85,000 49,000 34,000
2 TENNIS: 2010 AUST OPEN - DAY 10 NIGHT SESSION Seven 410,000 141,000 136,000 73,000 36,000 24,000
3 ONE DAY CRICKET -AUSTRALIA V PAKISTAN GAME 2 SESSION 2 Nine 344,000 89,000 96,000 87,000 30,000 41,000
4 THE ALL NEW SIMPSONS WED Ten 332,000 78,000 110,000 67,000 34,000 43,000
5 TENNIS: 2010 AUST OPEN - DAY 9 NIGHT SESSION Seven 331,000 99,000 116,000 59,000 33,000 24,000
6 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 329,000 87,000 112,000 69,000 28,000 35,000
7 INSIDE MAN RPT Ten 322,000 88,000 95,000 75,000 36,000 27,000
8 FUTURAMA WED RPT Ten 316,000 62,000 98,000 68,000 33,000 54,000

• by David Dale at 09:56 AM
• Comments (70)

WHO WE ARE: Take the words right out of our mouth

To discuss how to deepen the storyline of Avatar, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 10/1/2010
HEY, wassup? Going forward, am I about to plate-up for you a nicely nuanced fusion of the toxic legacy of language passed on from 2009 to 2010? Yes I am, and I'm not Greching.

Doesn't quite work, that paragraph, partly because some of the terms I forced into it did not survive the leap from last year to this.

Back in February, this column prematurely declared the 2009 BWOTY (Buzz Word of the Year) to be the conversion of "nuance" from noun to verb, after the former Minister for Defence, Joel Fitzgibbon, said this in an interview: "Have I seen attempts to nuance information to cover for mistakes? Yes. Have I seen nuanced information in an attempt to produce outcomes that are more favourable to those who are responsible for the issue? Yes."

(Note his clever use of another rhetorical technique - asking yourself a question and answering it. Fitzgibbon also liked to start sentences with the useful phrase "going forward" or "moving forward").

The former Opposition leader Malcolm Turnbull went on to become the nabob of nuancing, and caused the newsletter Crikey to declare: "His economic message on the stimulus packages ... has more nuance than, well, Nuanced Jack McNuance, winner of this year's Mr Nuance competition."

For a while it looked as if the name of Godwin Grech, the man who started Turnbull's fall from grace, would be added to the language as a synonym for trick, manipulate or distort. But Australians are not so cruel. When they learned that he was residing in a mental hospital, they stopped accusing each other of Greching the truth.

And nuancing vanished with the rise of Tony Abbott, a man determined to see only black and white. Turnbull had tried to nuance the Government's climate change policy, instead of opposing it, and thus nuanced himself out of a job. Abbott's contribution to public discourse was the adjective "toxic". After he described Kevin Rudd as "a toxic bore", we started hearing about toxic assets, toxic legacies and toxic bachelors.

Mercifully, that word was not applied to any of the contestants on MasterChef, which made its contribution to the national vocabulary with "plating-up" - composing your food like a work of art. The program was so popular with all demographics there were tales of eight year old boys who complained that their school lunches had been improperly plated-up.

The pioneer of plating-up, long before the term entered general usage, was Cheong Liew, the chef at The Grange restaurant in Adelaide. He is credited with introducing the multicultural mix called "fusion cuisine" in Australia, more than 20 years ago. Fusion briefly re-entered the national conversation when the news broke in October that The Grange was closing down.

When I ate there ten years ago, my first course consisted of eight tiny tastes composed around a large white plate. Delivering it, the waiter said: "Chef suggests you eat these clockwise, starting from the 6 o'clock position." Now that's plating-up.

And while we're talking about conspicuous consumption, last year saw the word "piccolo" added to the repertoire of coffee shops across the land. This year we should see a further expansion with the arrival of the "cortado" - a permutation of espresso and steamed milk currently a fad in Madrid, Lisbon and London.

Can you go to comments to nominate other expressions likely to drive us crazy this year? Yes, you can.

• by David Dale at 08:57 AM
• Comments (6)

Who We Are Exclusive: The least-watched shows on free to air television

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To discuss if Avatar promotes the worship of Baal, go to The Tribal Mind.
To nominate the buzz words of 2010, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
So this is why the big networks were given new digital stations -- so Channel Seven could show AFL matches from 1995 and Channel Nine could show My Gym Partner is a Monkey and Channel Ten could show repeats of replays of US college basketball. Read the bottom of the OzTAM chart (below) and never complain again about lack of choice.

Talking about small numbers, this was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "Interest and viewership in the domestic Twenty20 cricket competition continues to grow with viewing levels regularly reaching near record levels. As an example, last Sunday's coverage of WA vs Victoria, Live: Cricket: Twenty20 Big Bash on FOX Sports, drew 216,000 people and the rain-affected NSW/Queensland game on Wednesday night was watched by 210,000 viewers. In other sport, Live: Football: A-League Perth v Sydney was seen by 76,000 people and the Saturday A-League game between Melbourne and Perth was watched by 65,000 people (all on FOX Sports).

"In entertainment programming, the new season of American Idol began with 140,000 people watching American Idol Auditions on Wednesday night and 126,000 viewers witnessed former Rabbitohs player Garth Wood win the finale of Live: The Contender Australia. The Inspector Lynley Mysteries on UKTV had its best result of the past year with 106,00 viewers, Taggart on 13th Street was watched by 87,000 people and 87,000 watched Location, Location, Location on Lifestyle Channel. Heartbeat premiered on UKTV with 71,000 people, How I met Your Mother on Arena had its best ever result with 71,000 viewers and similarly Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan on Bio. had its best result with 69,000 people viewers.

Subscription TV channels won the third week of 2010 with 25.9% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 22.8% of all regional viewing and 62.7% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, and didn't, week ending January 16
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,266,000 290,000 325,000 300,000 148,000 202,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,206,000 318,000 365,000 208,000 142,000 173,000
3 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,197,000 238,000 466,000 197,000 195,000 101,000
4 COASTWATCH Seven 1,192,000 249,000 348,000 293,000 143,000 159,000
5 MIDSOMER MURDERS RPT ABC1 1,145,000 284,000 317,000 238,000 149,000 157,000
6 NINE NEWS Nine 1,142,000 300,000 395,000 232,000 108,000 108,000
7 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,128,000 299,000 325,000 210,000 133,000 161,000
8 BORDER PATROL-SUN Seven 1,128,000 241,000 316,000 282,000 123,000 166,000
9 BONES (R) Seven 1,068,000 246,000 269,000 259,000 153,000 141,000
10 MIGHTY SHIPS: BECRUX Seven 1,037,000 247,000 236,000 267,000 128,000 159,000
11 BORDER PATROL-MON Seven 1,029,000 286,000 263,000 222,000 120,000 138,000
12 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,028,000 281,000 271,000 207,000 114,000 155,000
13 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,028,000 259,000 368,000 210,000 85,000 106,000
14 THE MENTALIST -RPT Nine 1,021,000 288,000 302,000 192,000 128,000 110,000

• by David Dale at 09:32 AM
• Comments (73)

The Who We Are update: The end of the second last year of the Noughties

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To learn what Avatar has in common with Gilgamesh, go to The Tribal Mind.
To learn why Twitter is over, go to Who We Are

The ratings race, last five days of 2009 and first two days of 2010
This was Pay TV's account of itself for week 53/ week 1: "Subscription TV celebrated the New Year with a clear victory around Australia. In week 1 of 2010, STV had more viewers than any other network, with STV channels accounting for 26.8% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 23.3% of all regional viewing and 64.3% of all viewing in subscription TV homes.

"The FOX Sports' coverage of the Twenty20 match between Victoria and NSW, Live: Cricket: Twenty20 Big Bash, topped the week with 231,000 viewers. The tournament, exclusive to subscription TV, continues to increase in popularity with this week's broadcast representing highest ever ratings for the competition outside the 2008 and 2009 finals. In other sport programming, Live: Football: A-League Nth Qld v Melb on FOX Sports was watched by 65,000 people and Sky Raceday on Sky Racing was seen by 52,000 people.

"In entertainment programming, The Simpsons on FOX8 was watched by 105,000 people and Law & Order: SVU on TV1 was watched by 102,000 people. The Susan Boyle documentary, I Dreamed a Dream, premiered on UKTV with 96,000 viewers, Taggart on 13th Street was watched by 89,000 people and The Silence of the Lambs had 86,000 viewers on FOX Classics. Grand Designs on Lifestyle was viewed by 80,000 people, Kendra on E! had its best result of the last 12 months with 71,000 viewers and Monday's Sportsline on Sky News was seen by 67,000 people."

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Network Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,092,000 270,000 280,000 263,000 107,000 172,000
2 EDINBURGH MILITARY TATTOO 2009 ABC1 1,014,000 248,000 307,000 211,000 108,000 141,000
3 ABC NEWS-SA ABC1 921,000 221,000 267,000 209,000 101,000 124,000
4 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 881,000 275,000 295,000 153,000 89,000 70,000
5 NO LEAVE NO LIFE Seven 841,000 206,000 218,000 201,000 88,000 128,000
6 BORDERLINE Seven 740,000 196,000 208,000 177,000 68,000 91,000
7 ABC NEWS UP-DATE ABC1 727,000 180,000 250,000 125,000 81,000 91,000
8 KINGDOM Seven 705,000 166,000 223,000 144,000 78,000 93,000
9 WIPEOUT Nine 661,000 158,000 241,000 142,000 60,000 62,000
10 BED OF ROSES RPT ABC1 616,000 168,000 138,000 169,000 63,000 79,000
12 EDWARD SCISSORHANDS RPT Ten 514,000 146,000 165,000 61,000 74,000 67,000
15 MYTHBUSTERS SBS ONE 463,000 104,000 114,000 113,000 60,000 72,000
16 JAWS RPT Ten 455,000 118,000 139,000 63,000 71,000 66,000
21 ROCKWIZ RPT SBS ONE 295,000 86,000 66,000 74,000 36,000 33,000
27 M-CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG Seven 222,000 62,000 62,000 37,000 24,000 36,000
38 PAN'S LABYRINTH SBS ONE 135,000 57,000 25,000 24,000 12,000 17,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

• by David Dale at 05:18 AM
• Comments (109)

WHO WE ARE: Couldn't give a twit

To learn what Avatar has in common with Gilgamesh, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 27/12/2009
It was the year when Twitter came and went -- a fad formed in February and dropped in December, proof that this is the land of the short attention span.

Australia has long been legendary as a nation of Early Adopters, the ideal test market for new gadgets and products. We embraced colour TV, the VCR, the mobile phone, the games machine, the DVD and the iPod faster than any other outpost of Western civilisation.

Now it's apparent that another of our traits could be equally useful to the international marketing industry -- we are Early Discarders. On television, we lost interest in Lost, Ugly Betty, Heroes, Prison Break, 24 and Flashforward long before the Americans.

In communications, Australia's most trendsetting spokesmodel, Ruby Rose, announced that she has cancelled her Twitter service. Telling the world everything you're doing every minute is just not amusing any more. Ruby Rose has apparently experienced an epiphany: that when you have nothing interesting to say, there is no need to say anything. If Australia's answer to Paris Hilton decides she couldn't give a twit, the rest of the partygoing community cannot be far behind. Rose is not necessarily a cause, but she is almost certainly a symptom of social change.

Back in February, when the media started trumpeting Twitter as the hottest self-promotion tool since the megaphone, I asked a social researcher what he made of it. "It's a classic case of BOFSDT" he replied. That acronym stands for Boring Old Farts Suddenly Discover Technology.

"The teenagers aren't using it," he said. "They're happy with FaceBook. People over 30 do most of the twittering -- especially politicians and journalists who think it makes them hip and groovy. Their children think it's a wank."

The Twitter frenzy of the BOFs peaked during the Liberal leadership chaos, when multitudes of grey-haired males were seen frantically thumbing their mobiles in party rooms and parliamentary chambers. It was downhill from there. A month later Ruby Rose delivered the death blow.

In designing a communication tool by which people with short attention spans could scatter their every thought to the winds, the creators of Twitter planted the seeds of their own destruction -- because people with short attention spans must move on.

The media observers who hailed Twitter as The Next Big Thing were like the writers of the movie trilogy Back to the Future. In episode two, Michael J. Fox travels to the year 2015, and finds that all communications are conducted by fax. Every room in the house contains a machine spewing out shiny paper messages. That proved to be one of the most embarrassing predictions of the 20th century.

The film was made in 1989, when the writers could not have foreseen the arrival of text messaging and the internet. But anyone currently planning a movie about the year 2015 has the benefit of Ruby Rose's revelation to save them from suggesting Twitter will still be around in five years time.

I'd like to be able to predict that by 2015 people will no longer become famous simply by appearing at a lot of parties, but that social change may take a little longer.

Go to Comments to discuss other fads that are on the way out.

Footnote:: Since that column appeared, Ruby Rose has reopened her twitter account to announce her latest plan to marry a model, while the British comedian Stephen Fry has deleted his twitter account in order to get on with real life.

• by David Dale at 07:24 PM
• Comments (16)

WHO WE ARE: Things you didn't know -- and probably shouldn't -- about Australia

To learn what Kyle Sandilands, Baz Luhrmann and Poh have in common, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 13/12/2009
AS YOU KNOW, Australia celebrates Thanksgiving in May, while the Americans celebrate in late November. You didn't know? But it was revealed just the other day by Hollywood Reporter magazine, in the course of a story explaining how Australia managed to see the year's final episode of the series Flashforward a week ahead of America (they'd postponed their showing because of the Thanksgiving day holiday, while we had no reason to postpone because we already did our celebrating in May).

As part of its brief to explain Australia to Australians, this column collects things said about us by other countries. The report about our May observance (I wonder what the Los Angelenos imagine we are giving thanks for each year) is just one of many peculiar commentaries in the collection for 2009. Here are some more examples:

Australians love car crashes
That was the headline in The Guardian (London) on August 11. It said: "Australians are peculiarly fascinated by car crashes ... Australian films present hours of compelling evidence - movie crashes explode or unfold in distinctly Australian ways. The national flair comes across not just in the surrounding scenery but, more important, in the style." The report was based on a monograph called "Antipodean Automobility and Crash: Treachery, Trespass and Transformation of the Open Road", by Catherine Simpson of Macquarie University.

Australians are "hopping mad" about plans to create kangaroo and emu flavoured potato chips
The New York Daily News reported this on December 5. It explained: "Critics say the snack food encourages people to eat the country's coat of arms, which features the iconic Australian animals." The story quotes a spokesman for Smith's Crisps as saying the chip is actually vegetarian, and ends with the witty line: "No word from down under on whether there are any plans for cooking up a complementary dip flavor." (Der! Beetroot, of course).

Captain Cook was not a captain and did not save his crew from scurvy
This calumny appears in a paperback called The Book of General Ignorance (derived from the British TV series QI). It claims Cook was only a lieutenant when he bumped our shore, but "You still hear 'Captain Cook' trotted out at dinner parties (though very rarely at Australian ones)." What does this do for our rhyming slang: "Have a captain at this"? "Have a lieutenant at this" just does not work. The book scorns the notion that the non-captain fed his crew lemons to ward off scurvy: "The truth seems to be that Cook simply ignored it. The journals of his fellow officers indicate that it was widespread on all three voyages ..."

The Book of General Ignorance also asserts:

Ayer's Rock is not the biggest rock in the world
Allegedly that title belongs to Mount Augustus, or Burrungurrah, in Western Australia, which is two and a half times bigger than Uluru. The book says: "The final sting in the tail for Ayers Rock snobs: Mount Augustus is a monolith - a single piece of rock. Uluru isn't."

The word "kangaroo" really does refer to the two-legged native marsupial
The book mocks the theory that "kangaroo" means "I don't know" -- the answer allegedly given by Aboriginal people when the first English explorers asked them "What is that animal called?" It says the word "comes from the Guugu Ymithirr language of Botany Bay, where it means the large grey or black kangaroo, Macropus robustus".

This puts The Book of General Ignorance in dispute with the first book ever published about Australia-- A Narrative of the Expedition To Botany Bay (1789), wherein Watkin Tench (a marine lieutenant in the First Fleet) reveals that the Aboriginal people he met were under the impression that "kangaroo" was an English word for any strange-looking animal (because they used "patagaran" for the marsupial). For more detail, go to this episode of this column: Is it a sheep? Is it a cow? No, it's super pat.

But one detail in Tench's book seems to conform with The Book of General Ignorance. He refers at all times to the "discoverer" of Australia's east coast as "Mr Cook" -- never captain.

Go to Comments to add any data you may have, to challenge these foreigners on their perceptions of us, or to add your own Australofallacies.

• by David Dale at 08:38 PM
• Comments (1)

The Who We Are update: First fortnight of the silly season, 2009

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To learn what Kyle Sandilands, Baz Luhrmann and Poh have in common, go to The Tribal Mind.
To discuss some of the strangest things written about Australia in 2009, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 9 am Monday
For the winners of the limerick contest, go here.

This was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "High School Musical 3: Senior Year, the third movie in the series, premiered on Disney Channel with 108,000 viewers. NCIS on TV1 also had 108,000 viewers on the Tuesday night broadcast while Grand Designs Abroad on Lifestyle had its best result of the year with 101,000 people. Midsomer Murders on UKTV was watched by 97,000 people and this week's episode from the third season of Gossip Girl on FOX8 scored 92,000 people. Friends on 111 Hits was watched by 75,000 people, Law & Order on W was seen by 69,000 subscribers, Taggart on 13th Street had 68,000 people and Zoey 101 on Nickelodeon was watched by 68,000 viewers.

"In sport, Live: Football: A-League Bris v Adel on FOX Sports was watched by 69,000 people and Sky Raceday on Sky Racing was seen by 66,000 people. In the second week of summer, subscription TV won the week around Australia with subscription TV channels accounting for 24.1% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 21.6% of all regional viewing and 61.0% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Women aged 16-39 watched, week ending December 12
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 GLEE Ten 246,000 67,000 64,000 60,000 23,000 32,000
2 PRIVATE PRACTICE-TUE Seven 228,000 76,000 59,000 44,000 29,000 20,000
3 M - THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN RPT Ten 217,000 49,000 74,000 44,000 22,000 27,000
4 FUTURAMA WED RPT Ten 180,000 50,000 61,000 28,000 21,000 21,000
5 THE AMAZING RACE 15 - TUE Seven 180,000 65,000 56,000 27,000 21,000 12,000
6 TWO AND A HALF MEN -TUE Nine 180,000 58,000 47,000 32,000 12,000 31,000
7 SURVIVOR: SAMOA Nine 179,000 58,000 64,000 25,000 15,000 16,000
8 THE MIDDLE Nine 178,000 63,000 50,000 30,000 15,000 21,000
9 BONES (R) Seven 177,000 48,000 51,000 42,000 12,000 25,000
10 TWO AND A HALF MEN -MON Nine 174,000 50,000 58,000 30,000 18,000 18,000
11 MR. & MRS. SMITH -RPT Nine 173,000 54,000 61,000 21,000 21,000 17,000
12 ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE Ten 171,000 47,000 47,000 40,000 16,000 21,000
13 GARY UNMARRIED-TUE Seven 171,000 54,000 58,000 25,000 16,000 17,000
14 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER-SUMMER Seven 168,000 44,000 51,000 36,000 18,000 19,000
15 THE MENTALIST -RPT Nine 165,000 36,000 60,000 35,000 13,000 21,000
16 THE CLEVELAND SHOW Ten 164,000 50,000 45,000 28,000 20,000 21,000
17 THE FORCE - BEHIND THE LINE-MON (R) Seven 159,000 49,000 30,000 40,000 17,000 22,000
18 THE SIMPSONS WED Ten 157,000 48,000 57,000 24,000 15,000 13,000
19 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS SUMMER Seven 156,000 48,000 46,000 28,000 18,000 16,000
20 WHITE COLLAR TUES Ten 151,000 29,000 45,000 44,000 14,000 19,000
21 LIE TO ME THURS RPT Ten 147,000 21,000 54,000 34,000 18,000 20,000

• by David Dale at 09:39 AM
• Comments (108)

WHO WE ARE: The year of growing dumber

To nominate the best lines from the movies of 2009, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 29/11/2009
By the time you've finished reading this column, there will be seven more Australians. Five babies will have been born, four immigrants will have settled in and two poor bastards will have died. By midnight, Australia's population will have grown by 600, bringing us to 22,075,000.

The revelation that Australia is enjoying a population explosion - the result of breeding like bunnies for five years and opening the floodgates to skilled workers from Britain, China and India - may be The Most Significant Thing We Learned About Ourselves In 2009. But there are other candidates for that title, and I'd like your vote before declaring a winner. Here are some more insights into The New Australia which we gained this year:

Most of us are too dumb to function in the modern world. That was the conclusion reached by the Bureau of Statistics from its "Adult Literacy and Life Skills Survey" of 8,988 Australians aged 15 to 74. It said only 30 per cent of us possessed skills which are "the minimum required for individuals to meet the complex demands of everyday life and work in the emerging knowledge-based economy". The Bureau was particularly disturbed that 59 per cent of Australians "have difficulty with tasks such as locating information on a bottle of medicine about the maximum number of days the medicine could be taken, or drawing a line on a container indicating where one third would be".

Hamish Blake is our favourite person. In the six-monthly "Q-scores" survey of how 2000 Australians regard various celebrities, Blake displaced Hugh Jackman as the most recognized and liked person in the land.

Australia's favourite wine is made in New Zealand. It's Oyster Bay sauvignon blanc. Three years ago chardonnay was outselling sauvignon blanc three to one, but according to Sandy Mayo, global brand director for Penfolds, it developed an image problem when Kath and Kim started referring to it as "cardonnay": "We heard a lot of consumers say they would never take a chardonnay to a dinner party because everybody would laugh at them."

We have a compulsion for constant contact Put another way, we've transformed from a landline society to a mobile society. A survey by Roy Morgan Research in the first half of the year reached this conclusion: "The percentage of people with a fixed line connection has been on the decrease over the last 10 years and has finally been surpassed by people with a mobile phone, which has increased rapidly ... [Now] 85.2 per cent of the Australian population (15.13 million) own or use a mobile phone, which has overtaken the proportion who live in a household with a fixed line connection (84.9 per cent, 15.08 million").

Most of us will find love before we die. That's if you define love as wanting to live in the same house as your partner. In its "Family Characteristics and Transitions Survey", the Bureau found that "for people aged 35 years or over, 95 per cent had had at least one marriage or de facto relationship. This included 18 per cent who had had two (live-in) relationships and 7 per cent who had three or more."

On that encouraging note, we'll stop the revelations for now. Go to comments to tell us which was the most significant and to nominate other vital insights we gained this year.

• by David Dale at 10:47 AM
• Comments (1)

The TV year 2009: The spins are in

To mark the end of the "official" ratings year, the networks have started telling their tales. Amazingly, it seems that everybody won. First, lets look at the undisputed top 40 most watched shows of the year. Then we'll see how each network told its story.

The most watched programs of 2009
1 Masterchef Australia - Winner Announced (10) 3.74m; 2 AFL grand final (10) 2.88m; 3 Melbourne Cup - The Race (7) 2.67m; 4 Underbelly: A Tale of Two Cities (9) 2.58m; 5 NRL grand final (9) 2.53m; 6 Tennis: Australian Open, Dokic last game (7) 2.32m; 7 State of Origin Game 1 (9) 2.32m; 8 Hey Hey Reunion part two (9) 2.31m; 9 Tennis: Aus Open Men's Final (7) 2.24m; 10 Hey Hey Reunion (9) 2.17m; 11 State of Origin 2 (9) 2.13m; 12 Cricket: Twenty/20 Aus v South Africa Game 2 (9) 2.12m; 13 The Biggest Loser: Winner Announced (10) 2.10m; 14 Cricket: Twenty/20 Aus v S. Africa Game 1 (9) 2.04m; 15 Packed to the Rafters (7) 2.07m; 16 State of Origin 3 (9) 1.91m; 17 Logies (9) 1.69; 18 Seven news bushfire edition (7) 1,64; 19 Talkin Bout Your Generation (10) 1.60m; 20 Seven News Sunday (7) 1.59m; 21 Thank God You're here (70 1.52m; 22 World's Strictest parents (7) 1.51m; 23 Border Security (7) 1.50m; 24 Find My Family (7) 1.49m; 25 Seven News Mon-Fri (7) 1.48m; 26 The Zoo (7) 1.47m; 27 NCIS (10) 1.45m; 28 Dancing With The Stars (7) 1.44m; 29 RSPCA Animal Rescue (7) 1.43m; 30 Midsomer Murders (ABC) 1.42m; 31 Surf Patrol (7) 1.41m; 32 Nine News Sunday (9) 1.40m; 33 Triple Zero Heroes (7) 1.39m; 34 Customs (9) 1.38m; 35 Last Chance Surgery (7) 1.38m 1.38m; 36 Australia's Got Talent (7) 1.37m; 37 AirWays (7) 1.37m; 38 Today Tonight (7) 1.37m; 39 Merlin (10) 1.36m; 40 Highway Patrol (7) 1.35m.

CHANNEL NINE'S SPIN
". Nine wins 25-54 demographic across 5 city, official OzTAM results, 6pm-midnight, network on network
. Across all programing, Nine finishes year with 10 of the 20 best performing shows
Nine has the Number 1 rating program -- Underbelly: Tale of Two Cities.
. The Nine network has again delivered on its target demographic in 2009 by claiming for the second consecutive year the number one spot in the advertiser-preferred 25-54 demographic across the 5 city metro."

THE ABC's SPIN
"In a year dominated by fierce competition between networks and the launch of four new free-to-air channels, ABC TV has increased its share of free-to-air viewers in 2009 by broadening its appeal through ABC1 and ABC2.
ABC TV recorded a prime time share of 17.1% (weeks 7- 48, free-to-air 5 city) 0.1 of a point higher than 2008, which had previously been its most successful ratings year ever.
Complementing the increase in share within the free-to-air TV market, ABC iView has recorded a 140% increase in monthly average visits compared to 2008 and in October there was a record 1 million visits. In addition, more than 7 million vodcasts of ABC content have been downloaded in 2009 (to end of October).
2009 is the first full year that ABC2 has been part of the ratings cycle and its people share during prime time increased to 1.2% - double that of 2008. In week 46, ABC2 hit a new peak to reach 2.6 million viewers or 17.6% of the 5 city population.
Kim Dalton, Director of ABC TV said "The free-to-air TV landscape this year is hardly recognisable from even just 12 months ago. I'm delighted that ABC TV has been able to grow its audience in this tough environment, and in fact, has been at the forefront of this revolution. Come December 4, even more viewers are set to come on board with the launch of the new kids' channel, ABC3.
Top 6 Programs on ABC1
5 Cities
Spicks and Specks - 27th May (1.6 million; 32.5% FTA Share)
The Chaser's War on Everything - 27th May (1.5 million; 32.1% FTA Share)
Midsomer Murders - 4th October (1.5 million; 31.2% FTA Share)
The Gruen Transfer - 20th May (1.3 million; 26.1% FTA Share)
New Tricks - 13th June (1.3 million; 31.2% FTA Share)
Australian Story - 22nd June (1.3 million; 24.7% FTA Share)"

CHANNEL TEN'S SPIN
". Network Ten Total (TEN + ONE combined) wins the year in prime-time in 18-49 with a 33.7% share
. Network Ten Total (TEN + ONE combined) wins the year in prime-time in 16-39 with a 37.0% share
TEN (primary channel):
. TEN wins the year in prime-time in 16-39 and under 50s
. TEN is competitive in 18-49 with a 33.5% share; Year-on-year share in 18-49 is up by 2.9%; Year-on-year audience in 18-49 is up by 1.5%
. TEN wins 16-39 for 9th straight year; Year-on-year share in 16-39 is up by 2.7%
. TEN's year-on-year share in 25-54 is up by 4.7%; year-on-year audience in 25-54 is up by 4.9%
. TEN's year-on-year total share is up by 5.5%; Year-on-year audience is up by 4.0%.
TEN wins the year in daytime; TEN News At Five is the year's top regular daytime program
. TEN delivers the top 3 shows of 2009: MasterChef Australia - The Winner Announced, MasterChef Australia - Finale Night and The AFL Grand Final."

CHANNEL SEVEN'S SPIN
". Seven wins primetime in total viewers, 18-49s, and 25-54s in 2009
We'll leave Nine and Ten to attempt to spin their stories, and only wonder why you'd combine multiple channel audiences and redefine primetime to get a story. We'd rather let the facts speak for themselves.
. For the third consecutive year Seven is #1 in primetime and also #1 for the fourth consecutive year overall (across the 6am to midnight broadcast day) ...
. We have more total viewers, 18-49s and 25-54s in prime time than anyone else. And while we love our new channel, 7TWO, we don't need to add in its expanding audience to make up a story on how well Seven is going (which is very nicely and thankyou for asking)."

PAY TV'S SPIN
"In the first 48 weeks of the year, subscription TV was the number one choice for TV viewing around Australia with 22.4% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 21.4% of all regional viewing and 58.2% of all viewing in subscription TV homes. Even when the 2009 summer period is excluded (ie looking at weeks 7-48 only), STV was a clear winner. This year demonstrated the traditional strengths of subscription TV with a wide variety of sport, news and entertainment programs.

"The April broadcast of Live: Football: World Cup Qual. Aust v Uzbekistan topped the year for subscription TV with 431,000 viewers and set an all time audience record for the industry. The South Africa cricket tests earlier in the year proved popular, with Live: Cricket: Test RSA v AUS Day 2 S1 being watched by 358,000 people in March. The NRL series also scored significant audiences across the season with the Live: NRL Bulldogs v Storm match getting the biggest audience for the code with 347,000 viewers in May (all on FOX Sports).

"Australia's Next Top Model Live Finale on FOX8 in July topped the year in entertainment with 285,000 viewers watching the live finale. Live: Sound Relief Melbourne on Channel [V] was a major initiative for the platform and set an audience record for the channel with 220,000 viewers watching the charity concert in March.

"Project Runway Australia: Finale on Arena was watched by 191,000 in September and the Sky News' broadcast of Victoria Bushfire Disaster - Live Coverage provided subscription TV viewers with timely and comprehensive updates on the tragedy in February. The Disney Original Movie Princess Protection Program gathered 157,000 viewers to its broadcast in July and the Stargate: Universe premiere on SCI FI in October was watched by 149,000 people."

More to come as the argument proceeds. This is almost as good as the Liberal Party. The Tribal Mind column on Saturday December 5 will explain who were the real winners and losers of 2009 by analysing audience sizes rather than shares of an ever-diminishing cake.

• by David Dale at 01:24 AM

The Who We Are update: Last week of "official" ratings

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To discuss how dumb Australia was in 2009, go to Who We Are.
To nominate the best lines from the movies of 2009, go to The Tribal Mind.

The most watched shows on each of the Free to Air channels, week ending November 28
Seven
1 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS 2,049,000 (Total audience across five mainland capitals)
2 THE FORCE 1,569,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN 1,499,000
4 BORDER SECURITY 1465,000
5 UNLIKELY ANIMAL FRIENDS 1377,000
6 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS 1336,000
7 HIGHWAY PATROL 1311,000
8 BORDER SECURITY -WED (R) 1277,000
9 SEVEN NEWS 1273,000
10 M-RATATOUILLE 1241,000
7TWO
1 STARGATE ATLANTIS 175,000
2 HEROES 132,000
3 M-CHICKEN RUN 131,000
4 M-SHOOTER 107,000
5 M-HEAVY WEIGHTS 89,000
6 UGLY BETTY 88,000
ABC1
1 ABC NEWS-SUN 929,000
2 ABC NEWS WEEKDAYS 913,000
3 ABC NEWS-SAT 890,000
4 ELDERS WITH ANDREW DENTON 800,000
5 BILL 791,000
6 HOPE SPRINGS 727,000
7 TAGGART 716,000
8 7.30 REPORT 713,000
9 WIRE IN THE BLOOD: PRAYER OF THE BONE 692,000
10 THE NEW INVENTORS 674,000
ABC2
1 DOCTOR WHO: VOYAGE OF THE DAMNED 114,000
2 WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MADE: DORIS DAY SUPERSTAR 109,000
3 WILLA'S WILD LIFE 103,000
4 POKO 102,000
5 ADVENTURES OF BOTTLE TOP BILL AND HIS BEST FRIEND 94,000
6 JUNKYARD WARS 87,000
Nine
1 TWO AND A HALF MEN -MON 1291,000
2 THE MENTALIST 1227,000
3 TWO AND A HALF MEN -WED EP2 1216,000
4 NINE NEWS SUNDAY 1163,000
5 NINE NEWS SATURDAY 1133,000
6 TWO AND A HALF MEN -WED EP1 1113,000
7 THE BIG BANG THEORY 1080,000
8 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT 1071,000
9 NINE NEWS 1049,000
10 CRICKET: ALL STAR TWENTY/20 1041,000
GO!
1 LICENCE TO WED 153,000
2 TRANSFORMERS 144,000
3 THE BIG BANG THEORY 123,000
4 WIPEOUT 112,000
5 KIDS WB SUNDAY 112,000
6 SUPERBAD 109,000
Ten
1 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - THE WINNER ANNOUNCED 1492,000
2 CELEBRITY MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - FINALE 1295,000
3 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - THE FINAL VERDICT 1280,000
4 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - LIVE FROM THE OPERA HOUSE 1109,000
5 NCIS RPT 1106,000
6 CELEBRITY MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA TUES 1080,000
7 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 1063,000
8 HAMISH & ANDY RE-GIFTED 1050,000
9 GLEE THURS 1049,000
10 LIE TO ME 976,000
ONE
1 UFC WIRED 84,000
2 WORLD'S STRONGEST MAN RPT 74,000
3 SPORTS TONIGHT: AFL DRAFT UPDATE 56,000
4 WORLD HELI CHALLENGE 56,000
5 DRAG RACING: ANDRA CHAMPIONSHIP 2009 54,000
6 HIGH OCTANE 40,000
SBS1
1 TOP GEAR RPT 685,000
2 MAN VS WILD 664,000
3 DESTINATION: FIFA WORLD CUP 461,000
4 ADBC BITESIZE 427,000
5 ROCKWIZ 284,000
6 MYTHBUSTERS 280,000
7 TOP GEAR 268,000
8 LUKE NGUYEN'S VIETNAM 261,000
9 WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? 260,000
10 DEMETRI'S CASTLE 242,000
SBS2
1 THE PACIFIC WAR IN COLOUR RPT 35,000
2 LOVE IN INDIA 1 24,000
3 2 BECOME 1 23,000
4 LIGHT FANTASTIC RPT 22,000
5 THE ADVENTURE OF ENGLISH RPT 20,000
6 DESTINATION: FIFA WORLD CUP RPT 19,000

• by David Dale at 07:09 PM
• Comments (58)

WHO WE ARE: A nation of capppuholics

To find out if the ad industry calls you "socially aware", "basic needs" or "traditional family", go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 15/11/2009
LET THE Germans celebrate their falling wall. Australia has a far more significant social shift to commemorate this year - the 30th anniversary of our change from a nation of tea drinkers to a nation of coffee drinkers, which means from passive to active, from apathetic to engaged, from relaxed and comfortable to alert but not alarmed, from an island off the coast of England to an island in the middle of the Mediterranean, from the kind of place where a John Howard would grow up and lead the Liberal Party to a place that would spawn a Kevin Rudd.

Yes, 1979 was the year when coffee consumption on the way up passed tea consumption on the way down. To mark the moment, the baristas of our nation have this year added a new permutation to their repertoire - the piccolo (an espresso with a bit more milk than a macchiato and a bit less milk than a latte).

This brings the number of shapes in which you can order your pickmeup in the typical suburban cafe to a glorious 16.

My caffeine, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways: espresso (or short black), double espresso, long black, macchiato, large macchiato, piccolo, latte (hot milk, minimum froth), flat white (a latte but served in a cup instead of a glass), cappuccino (hot milk, lots of froth), affogato (espresso with a dollop of icecream).

That's your basic array. Now add skim milk versions, soy milk versions, decaffeinated versions, and the babycino, and you see why baristas have to do so much fiddling with their machines that they'd have no time to boil water if some eccentric came in and asked for a cup of tea.

Lets track the transformation. In 1949, every Australian drank 3.2 litres of tea a year and 0.2 litres of coffee.

In the early 1950s, the cappuccino machine arrived, along with mass immigration from Italy. (As far as I can establish, the first one was installed in 1953 at the University Cafe in Lygon Street, Melbourne, pictured above). And thus coffee's conquest of the suburbs began.

By 1979, we were consuming 1.7 litres of tea and 1.7 litres of coffee a year. Nowadays, tea is below 0.8 litres and coffee is past 4 litres per person a year.

Put another way, in 50 years each of us has gone from two cups of tea a week to three cups of coffee a week. The research agency Bis Shrapnel estimates that outside the home, Australians drink a billion coffees a year, of which 480 million are cappuccinos.

But 80 per cent of our coffee consumption is home-made instant (we spend $250 million a year in supermarkets on Nescafe Blend 43, and $150 million on Moccona).

So the nation swallows five billion cups of coffee a year. No wonder we elected a prime minister who operates on five hours sleep a night and expects his public servants to work 15 hours a day. Give them all another double short skim piccolo.

Go to Comments to discuss the national addiction.

• by David Dale at 01:54 PM
• Comments (9)

The Who We Are update: Week 47

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To learn how Australian television tastes have changed since 1999, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
Channel Seven consolidated its victory for the year, averaging 30.0 per cent of the prime time audience last week (a figure that includes the audience for 7TWO). Nine and GO drew 27.4, Ten and ONE 20.1, ABC1&2 17.1 and SBS1&2 5.4. Go below to see what women watched last week.

Pay TV boosted its share of viewing last week, apparently because the free to air stations seem to have declared the silly season two weeks early. This was Pay's account of itself: "The 'Tiger Woods show' topped the week with FOX Sport's coverage of Live: Golf: JBWere Masters drawing 152,000 viewers. In other sport, Rugby League: Four Nations was watched by 88,000 people, Live: Football: A-League Bris v Melb had 73,000 viewers and Live: Cricket: Ford Ranger Cup was seen by 69,000 people. Finally, in the early hours of Sunday morning, 63,000 dedicated fans watched the Socceroos beat Oman in Live: Football: AFC Asian Cup Qualifier Oman v Aust (all on FOX Sports).

"New Zealand's Next Top Model on FOX8 scored a season-to-date best result when it was seen by 127,000 viewers, Midsomer Murders on UKTV was seen by 119,000 people and The Contender Australia on FOX8 was watched by 92,000 people. Law & Order: SVU on TV1 was seen by 85,000 people, Location, Location, Location on Lifestyle was seen by 82,000 people and Dora the Explorer on Nick Jr. was watched by 78,000 people.

"In week 47, subscription TV was the number one choice for TV across Australia, with STV channels representing 22.3% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 22.6% of all regional viewing and 60.6% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Women 25-54 watched, week ending November 21
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 576,000 174,000 162,000 110,000 54,000 76,000
2 BONES Seven 433,000 103,000 125,000 90,000 50,000 65,000
3 TWO AND A HALF MEN -MON Nine 430,000 121,000 139,000 88,000 32,000 50,000
4 NCIS Ten 378,000 115,000 106,000 78,000 37,000 42,000
5 CELEBRITY MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Ten 369,000 141,000 104,000 58,000 27,000 39,000
6 PRIVATE PRACTICE-TUE Seven 364,000 118,000 103,000 61,000 32,000 50,000
7 FLASHFORWARD Seven 360,000 116,000 83,000 65,000 35,000 61,000
8 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 358,000 116,000 107,000 58,000 28,000 49,000
9 THE FORCE - BEHIND THE LINE Seven 353,000 86,000 96,000 81,000 34,000 56,000
10 BEAUTY AND THE GEEK AUSTRALIA Seven 353,000 90,000 124,000 59,000 26,000 54,000
11 THE BIG BANG THEORY Nine 349,000 96,000 104,000 70,000 27,000 52,000
12 THE MENTALIST Nine 343,000 103,000 107,000 68,000 28,000 37,000
13 CRIMINAL MINDS-MON Seven 340,000 101,000 82,000 53,000 44,000 60,000
14 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 332,000 88,000 90,000 74,000 32,000 48,000
15 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 328,000 95,000 93,000 67,000 33,000 41,000
16 AUSTRALIAN IDOL Ten 327,000 107,000 92,000 66,000 26,000 35,000

• by David Dale at 08:10 AM
• Comments (53)

The Who We Are update: Week 46

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To find out if the ad industry calls you "socially aware", "basic needs" or "traditional family", go to The Tribal Mind.
To learn how Australia became addicted to caffeine, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10am Monday
As we race towards the silly season (only two weeks of normal programming to go), Seven draws further ahead of Nine, Ten keeps sinking and ABC is thriving. The prime time audience shares last week were: SBS1&2 5.7 per cent; ABC1&2 18.0; Ten&ONE 19.8; Nine&GO 26.3; Seven&7TWO 30.1.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "Tiger Woods and the other competitors in the Australian Masters were watched by 132,000 people on the FOX Sports' broadcast of Live: Golf: JBWere Masters. Other sports highlights this week include Live: Cricket: ODI Ind v Aus 6th ODI S2 watched by 257,000 viewers, Football: EPL Highlights seen by 69,000 viewers and Live: Golf: Euro PGA: HSBC C'ship Final watched by 67,000 (all on FOX Sports).

"Grand Designs on Lifestyle was seen by 125,000 viewers, Midsomer Murders on UKTV was seen by 107,000 people and New Zealand's Next Top Model on FOX8 was seen by 103,000 viewers. Law & Order: SVU on TV1 was watched by 102,000 people, Quantum of Solace premiered on Movie One with 96,000 viewers and Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards 2009 premiered with 95,000 viewers.

"In week 46, STV channels represented 22.2% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 21.5% of all regional viewing and 58.9% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending November 14
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,853,000 539,000 559,000 302,000 226,000 228,000
2 THE FORCE - BEHIND THE LINE Seven 1,601,000 404,000 437,000 328,000 182,000 249,000
3 BORDER SECURITY Seven 1,515,000 369,000 445,000 337,000 161,000 203,000
4 TWO AND A HALF MEN -MON Nine 1,456,000 338,000 452,000 347,000 126,000 193,000
5 BONES Seven 1,362,000 348,000 365,000 258,000 178,000 213,000
6 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,319,000 309,000 350,000 296,000 160,000 204,000
7 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,313,000 327,000 324,000 340,000 127,000 195,000
8 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,296,000 329,000 358,000 268,000 164,000 178,000
9 LAST CHANCE SURGERY Seven 1,292,000 327,000 358,000 275,000 162,000 170,000
10 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,272,000 433,000 340,000 225,000 122,000 151,000
11 NCIS Ten 1,251,000 312,000 344,000 277,000 148,000 170,000
12 BORDER SECURITY -WED (R) Seven 1,233,000 334,000 340,000 256,000 136,000 167,000
13 MIDSOMER MURDERS ABC1 1,224,000 353,000 364,000 199,000 144,000 164,000
14 HIGHWAY PATROL Seven 1,217,000 338,000 319,000 242,000 136,000 182,000
15 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,211,000 312,000 332,000 261,000 136,000 170,000
16 SUNDAY NIGHT Seven 1,202,000 332,000 289,000 288,000 141,000 152,000
17 THE MENTALIST Nine 1,187,000 350,000 370,000 239,000 106,000 121,000
18 DESTROYED IN SECONDS Seven 1,166,000 317,000 280,000 239,000 148,000 183,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 06:43 AM
• Comments (53)

WHO WE ARE: Aesthetic enthusiasts or athletic supporters

To be shocked by what kids under 12 are watching on television, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 1/11/2009
Are we a sporty nation or an artsy fartsy nation? Even the dumbest terrorist posing as an asylum seeker would have no trouble answering that question as part of a border security check. But if he answered "sporty", he'd be caught out for following a myth instead of the facts.

Last week the Bureau of Statistics put out two reports that are likely to shake up the self-concept of Australians - Sports and Physical Recreation: A Statistical Overview and Arts and Culture in Australia: A Statistical Overview. From them we learn, for example, that 1.06 million people are employed in the arts and culture industry and only 75,155 people are employed in the sports and physical recreation industry.

Apparently 29,000 Australians earn money from working in libraries, 83,000 from designing websites, 53,000 from photography and 36,000 from furniture making and woodcraft. By contrast, the bureau notes "there were 18,558 persons employed by sport and camping equipment retailers and 4,039 persons employed by marine equipment retailers".

The bureau reveals that Australia earned $511 million in the 2007-208 financial year from exporting sports and physical recreation goods: "The category of Boats, yachts and other vessels for pleasure or sports ($289.7m) was the main contributor to the overall export figure, followed by Horses with $88.7m."

In the same year, says the bureau's other report, "Australia earned $915 million through the provision of cultural goods ($628m) and cultural and recreational services ($287m) to the rest of the world." And that's not even counting all those former Neighbours starlets who get bit parts in US dramas and send money home to mum.

Oh yes, I knew all that, says the terrorist, sweating under the interrogation lights, but this discussion is not about how Australians make money, it's about how they spend their leisure time -- surely more people go to the footy or the cricket than ponce about in art galleries and concert halls.

Aha, we've caught him on that fallacy as well. The bureau reports that 8 million people (or half the population aged over 14) attended at least one type of performing arts performance in the 12 months before they were interviewed: "One quarter (25 per cent) of the population had attended popular music concerts, while just under one-fifth had seen theatre performances (17 per cent) and musicals and operas (16 per cent)".

In addition, 23 per cent had been to an art gallery and 34 per cent had been to a library. And of course, 65 per cent of adults go to the movies at least once a year (though the suspect might well argue that you can hardly count Transformers and The Hangover as cultural experiences).

By contrast, the sports report reveals that 7.1 million or 44 per cent of Australians over 14 attend at least one sports event a year. The favourites are: Aussie rules matches (attended by 19 per cent of men and 12.5 per cent of women); horse racing (15 per cent of men, 11 per cent of women); motor sports (13, 6) rugby league (12, 7) and cricket (7,2).

Sorry to disappoint the terrorist, but he hasn't arrived in a land of jocks and yobbos. Apparently it's more realistic to see Australia as a land of aesthetes and connoisseurs.

Go to Comments to discuss whether we've underrated our artiness.

• by David Dale at 09:08 AM
• Comments (3)

The Who We Are update: Week 45

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To discuss whether it matters when "true" movies tell lies, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
Channel Seven won the week, needing no help from its offshoot 7TWO. Here's how OzTAM says the prime time audience shares broke up: SBS2 0.4; ONE 1.1; ABC2 1.4; 7TWO 1.7; GO 2.7; SBS1 5.1; ABC1 16.2; Ten 19.0; Nine 23.5; Seven 29.1.

You might expect that all this extra choice in free to air would be having some impact on Pay TV, but it's hard to spot any shrinkage in Pay's account of itself for the week: "On Tuesday night, New Zealand's Next Top Model had a series high audience of 113,000 people while The Contender Australia [Charlotte Dawson's boxing show -- anybody want to tell us what it's like?] premiered on Monday night with 98,000 viewers (both on FOX8). Midsomer Murders on UKTV was watched by 128,000 people, Relocation Relocation on Lifestyle had its biggest audience of the year so far with 100,000 people and Law & Order: SVU on TV1 was seen by 89,000 people.

"The thrilling fifth One Day International between India and Australia gave FOX Sports the best result of the series so far with 232,000 people watching Live: Cricket: ODI Ind v Aus 5th ODI S1. Live: Football: A-League Perth v Melb was watched by 85,000 people and Rugby League: Four Nations on Sunday morning was watched by 84,000 people (all on FOX Sports).

"In week 45, STV channels represented 21.3% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 21.7% of all regional viewing and 57.9% of all viewing in subscription TV homes." This may change once Foxtel and Austar begin delivering GO and 7TWO to their subscribers via cable and satellite.

What Australia watched, including the top digitals, week ending November 6
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 MELBOURNE CUP-THE RACE Seven 2,673,000 640,000 1,323,000 340,000 156,000 214,000
2 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 2,072,000 601,000 650,000 361,000 251,000 209,000
3 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,583,000 370,000 492,000 327,000 177,000 217,000
4 THE FORCE - BEHIND THE LINE Seven 1,528,000 394,000 453,000 326,000 154,000 202,000
5 LAST CHANCE SURGERY Seven 1,514,000 359,000 483,000 305,000 175,000 192,000
6 BORDER SECURITY Seven 1,433,000 351,000 427,000 338,000 138,000 179,000
7 MIDSOMER MURDERS ABC1 1,426,000 406,000 405,000 242,000 176,000 197,000
8 TWO AND A HALF MEN -MON Nine 1,387,000 401,000 412,000 287,000 147,000 140,000
9 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,370,000 334,000 414,000 268,000 162,000 193,000
10 BONES Seven 1,356,000 339,000 380,000 273,000 171,000 193,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 05:57 PM
• Comments (60)

The Who We Are update: Week 44

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To judge if Australia is a land of jocks or aesthetes, go to Who We Are.
To be shocked by what kids under 12 are watching on television, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
The prime time audience shares for the week were: Seven&7TWO 28.8 per cent, Nine&GO 26.4, Ten&ONE 20.8, ABC1&2 18.4, SBS1&2 5.7.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "The Saturday night broadcast of the third one day international cricket test between Australia and India, Live: Cricket: ODI Ind v Aus 3rd ODI S1, topped the week for STV with 214,000 viewers. The FOX Sports' coverage of Live: Rugby Union: Bledisloe Cup was watched by 144,000 people, 66,000 watched Live: Cricket: Ford Ranger Cup and 65,000 watched Live: Football: A-League Bris v Newc (all on FOX Sports).

"Midsomer Murders on UKTV had its best result of the year with 133,000 viewers, The Simpsons on FOX8 was watched by 114,000, Law & Order: SVU on TV1 was watched by 111,000 and Location, Location, Location on Lifestyle had a year-to-date high of 104,000 people. Deadliest Catch on Discovery Channel was watched by 85,000 people, Go, Diego, Go! on Nick Jr. was watched by 78,000 and Ultimate Gamer on FOX8 had its best audience of the year so far with 70,000 people.

"In week 44, STV channels represented 21.6% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 20.7% of all regional viewing and 58% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending October 31
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,960,000 571,000 613,000 320,000 209,000 248,000
2 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,515,000 419,000 442,000 289,000 159,000 206,000
3 ALL SAINTS-THE FINALE Seven 1,505,000 459,000 472,000 233,000 158,000 184,000
4 LAST CHANCE SURGERY Seven 1,477,000 417,000 433,000 259,000 147,000 220,000
5 THE FORCE - BEHIND THE LINE Seven 1,449,000 391,000 408,000 284,000 153,000 214,000
6 TWO AND A HALF MEN -MON Nine 1,438,000 419,000 418,000 299,000 126,000 176,000
7 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,397,000 368,000 421,000 256,000 174,000 178,000
8 MIDSOMER MURDERS ABC1 1,385,000 407,000 438,000 217,000 141,000 182,000
9 NCIS Ten 1,377,000 384,000 383,000 256,000 154,000 200,000
10 BORDER SECURITY - WED (R) Seven 1,359,000 396,000 338,000 271,000 153,000 201,000
11 BORDER SECURITY - AUSTRALIA'S FRONT LINE Seven 1,358,000 398,000 332,000 288,000 144,000 196,000
12 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,334,000 389,000 465,000 203,000 187,000 90,000
13 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,327,000 355,000 337,000 285,000 158,000 192,000
14 DESTROYED IN SECONDS Seven 1,300,000 357,000 381,000 234,000 132,000 196,000
15 HIGHWAY PATROL Seven 1,294,000 354,000 381,000 247,000 122,000 190,000
16 MEDICAL EMERGENCY Seven 1,286,000 330,000 341,000 286,000 130,000 199,000
17 20 TO 1 -TUE Nine 1,250,000 349,000 396,000 249,000 128,000 128,000
18 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,247,000 302,000 373,000 264,000 133,000 177,000
19 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,246,000 332,000 326,000 292,000 115,000 181,000
20 TWO AND A HALF MEN -WED Nine 1,228,000 290,000 432,000 276,000 88,000 141,000
21 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,226,000 317,000 321,000 269,000 132,000 188,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 05:22 PM
• Comments (60)

The Who We Are update: Week 43

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To learn why the music of 1969 is better than the music of 2009, go to The Tribal Mind.
To discuss the reliability of opinion polls, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
Without doing anything special in the way of new programming, Channel Nine won the week. That's because Ten is chipping away at Seven's audience. It might be a different story next month when Seven launches its new channel (go below for details and to offer your thoughts). The prime time audience shares were: SBS1&2 5.5 per cent; ABC1&2 18.7; Ten&ONE 21.1; Seven&7TWO 26.9; Nine&GO 27.9.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "The Simpsons on FOX8 topped the week on STV with 137,000 people, followed by Family Guy with 111,000 viewers and New Zealand's Next Top Model with 110,000 (both on FOX8). Erin Brockovich on TV1 had 106,000 people, The Outlaw Josey Wales on FOX Classics was watched by 100,000 and Grand Designs on Lifestyle was watched by 96,000.

"The FOX Sports' coverage of Live: Football: A-League Melb v Adel was watched by 77,000, the Newcastle/Central Coast football game Live: Football: A-league Newc v C'Coast was seen by 69,000 people and Live: Motorsport: Motogp Round 15, Australia was seen by 62,000 viewers. In week 43, STV channels represented 21.2% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 19.5% of all regional viewing and 56.6% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

Just for a change, What Rich Australians (Occupational groups 1 and 2) watched, week ending October 24
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 722,000 218,000 221,000 135,000 69,000 79,000
2 FLASHFORWARD Seven 550,000 179,000 143,000 82,000 69,000 77,000
3 CELEBRITY MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Ten 549,000 164,000 173,000 98,000 53,000 61,000
4 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 534,000 181,000 156,000 91,000 44,000 62,000
5 TWO AND A HALF MEN -MON Nine 525,000 122,000 162,000 133,000 35,000 73,000
6 NCIS Ten 514,000 123,000 121,000 136,000 52,000 82,000
7 THE FORCE Seven 506,000 116,000 135,000 99,000 47,000 110,000
8 20 TO 1 -TUE Nine 499,000 143,000 135,000 113,000 43,000 65,000
9 A TRIBUTE TO DON LANE Nine 491,000 165,000 130,000 94,000 56,000 47,000
10 BORDER SECURITY Seven 475,000 117,000 149,000 91,000 35,000 83,000
11 TWO AND A HALF MEN -WED Nine 475,000 125,000 133,000 119,000 45,000 53,000
12 AUSTRALIAN IDOL Ten 464,000 168,000 115,000 96,000 44,000 40,000
13 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 447,000 149,000 124,000 85,000 39,000 51,000
14 THE MENTALIST Nine 443,000 116,000 150,000 102,000 28,000 48,000
15 THE BIG BANG THEORY Nine 441,000 113,000 117,000 121,000 33,000 57,000
16 SECRET MILLIONAIRE Nine 438,000 149,000 112,000 92,000 37,000 47,000
17 ALL SAINTS Seven 428,000 133,000 129,000 79,000 42,000 45,000
18 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 423,000 102,000 113,000 101,000 39,000 67,000
19 TWO AND A HALF MEN -FRI Nine 419,000 100,000 143,000 99,000 36,000 41,000
20 GETAWAY Nine 417,000 120,000 129,000 81,000 39,000 48,000
21 THE 39 STEPS ABC1 414,000 142,000 149,000 55,000 31,000 38,000

• by David Dale at 09:36 AM
• Comments (65)

WHO WE ARE: Ask and ye shall be confused

To learn why the music of 1969 is better than the music of 2009, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 18/10/2009
SO FAR this year, 91 per cent of Australians have been asked if they would answer a few questions for some sort of poll, survey or research project. Of these, 83 per cent said yes.

Of these, 40 per cent terminated the conversation when they realized it was actually an attempt to sell them a holiday package, phone plan, or course in scientology. Of the rest, 85 per cent spent up to 15 minutes answering the questions honestly and thoughtfully, while 15 per cent had a great time yanking the interviewer's chain. Of the conscientious majority, 97 per cent will never find out the results of the research in which they participated.

As you've gathered, I made up all those statistics - just like most of the politicians, pundits and PR people who bombard the media every day with assertions about what "the average Australian" wants, buys, fears, believes and won't stand for.

We have no way of knowing how often the average Australian gets surveyed, because nobody has done a survey about it. My household has been phoned seven times in the past month by alleged survey companies, of which three seemed to be genuine. Australia is suffering surplus survey syndrome. We will have to declare this The Year of the Opinion Poll.

I always agree to participate in such research, and I hope everyone else does, because I use that kind of information in my journalism. Paradoxically, I was told that I was not needed by one of the pollsters as soon as I revealed that I was a journalist. Which made me suspect that whoever commissioned the poll did not want the world to know these questions were being asked - presumably because they planned to keep the data to themselves, or release only those results that suited their commercial or political agenda.

This column being about Australian identity, I keep track of all poll results that receive any kind of public release. Many are dodgy, because the sample size was too small or because there was a bias in the way the sample was selected. But from the reliable minority, here are a few examples of the insights we've gained this year into What Australians Believe:

Did Jesus rise from the dead? A survey of 2500 Australians, conducted for the Centre for Public Christianity, found 54 per cent saying yes. Asked if Jesus was a real figure, 11 per cent said no, 39 per cent said yes but he did not have divine powers, and 50 per cent said yes and he had divine powers. Asked when Jesus lived, 31 per cent said BC (before he was born).

Should gay people be allowed to marry? A Galaxy Research survey of 1100 people, commissioned by the lobby group Australian Marriage Equality, found 68 per cent of women and 53 per cent of men saying yes.

Is torture an acceptable way to gain information from enemy soldiers? A survey of 1,000 Australians, conducted for the Red Cross, found 40 per cent said yes. But 93 per cent said war crimes should be prosecuted.

Should women breastfeed in public? A Newspoll of 1000 men and women, commissioned by the Australian Lactation Consultants Association, found that 36 per cent said no. It also found 34 per cent say a baby should stop breastfeeding within six months, 39 per cent say within 12 months and only 10 per cent say between one and two years.

What are you having for dinner tonight? A Pollinate survey of 2000 people, conducted for Adelaide's Sunday Mail newspaper, got this answer: 1 Spaghetti bolognese; 2 Roast chicken and vegetables 3 Steak with salad or vegetables; 4 Fish with salad or vegetables; 5 Pizza. Farewell the meat pie as our national dish (for recipes, go to spag bol).

How long will Malcolm Turnbull survive? This is the question that currently obsesses the media. Last week it generated a tsunami of polling across the nation. All three major research agencies went into a phoning frenzy.

Nielsen asked 1400 voters their voting intention and this question: "Who is your preferred Liberal leader?" and got ALP 46 per cent and L-NP 37, and 33 per cent for Hockey, 31 for Turnbull, and 21 for Abbott. This caused The Sydney Morning Herald to lead its front page with this headline: "Hockey firms as voters' choice".

Newspoll asked 1153 voters their voting intention and this question: "Which one of the following do you think would be the best candidate to lead the Liberal Party?" and got ALP 47 and L-NP 36 and Hockey 24, Turnbull 32 and Abbott 16, causing The Australian to lead its front page with this headline: "Turnbull leadership boost".

Roy Morgan Research asked 549 voters their voting intention and this quesiton "If you were a Liberal or National Party voter and helping to choose the Coalition leader for the next electon, who would you prefer?" and got ALP 46.5 and LNP 37 and Hockey 30, Turnbull 21, Abbott 17, Julie Bishop 9, Andrew Robb 4 and Christopher Pyne 2, causing Gary Morgan to headline his report: "Liberal voters prefer Hockey to Turnbull".

Gary Morgan thinks the variation between poll results is explainable by the ways the question was asked. Newspoll's use of the phrase "best candidate to lead the Liberal Party" raises the problem of what the word "best" means to the person interviewed. Morgan wonders: "Does 'best' mean 'best' for Australia? Or 'best' for the Liberal Party? Or 'best' for an elector's needs."

For Labor voters, the best Liberal candidate might be the one most likely to lose the next election. But how many of the 46.5 per cent who said they will vote Labor interpreted the leadership question in that Machiavellian way?

(Morgan also points out that surveys conducted by phone are less reliable than face to face interviews, because they do not reach the very poor: "Face-to-face polls include non-telephone owners, of whom significantly more vote ALP than L-NP," he says. I have my doubts about this. Nowadays, many young adults don't bother to have a landline connected because they conduct their communications on mobiles, at vast expense. A random sample of people whose home numbers can be found in the phone book is likely to under-represent the young and rich as much as the old and homeless.)

You have to feel sorry for Nielsen, Newspoll and Morgan. After paying a fortune to Telstra, the researchers have left everybody more confused than ever on the Turnbull question.

In this Year Of The Poll, we need to help them. The next time someone asks if you'd mind answering a few questions, set two conditions: "Only if you'll call me back and tell me the final results" and "Only if you'll let me explain how I'm interpreting the questions and what my responses mean." That should get the interviewer off the phone and you back to your dinner pretty quickly.

Go to Comments to tell us your experience with pollsters

• by David Dale at 10:55 PM
• Comments (14)

The Who We Are update: Week 42

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To discuss the reliability of opinion polls, go to Who We Are.
To discuss if erecting a Big Thing means a town has a small penis, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
In a rare moment of full and frank disclosure, Channel Nine has released a rundown of how the stations have been attracting audiences this year. In the course of that report, Nine also reveals the name of the new digital station which Seven intends to launch in November. Apparently it will be called TBA. Here is the essence of Nine's roundup ...

Prime time audience shares for the week ending October 17: SBS1 5.1 per cent, SBS2 0.4; ABC2 15.9, ABC1 1.2; Ten 20.2, ONE 1.6; Nine 24.1, GO 2.4; Seven 29.0, TBA 0.0.
Prime time audience shares for the ratings year so far:
SBS1&2 5.9
ABC1&2 17.0
Ten&ONE 22.7
Nine&GO 26.6
Seven&TBA 27.8.

BUT for the year so far, Nine has the biggest share of viewers aged 25-54 and Ten has the biggest share of viewers aged 16-39.

Of course, all the percentages above are shares of free to air viewing. The numbers reduce if you include Pay TV in the mix. Across the mainland capitals each week, about 20 per cent of all viewing is to subscription channels. The shares above are shares of the other 80 per cent. This was Pay's account of itself for the week:

"The FOX Sports' coverage of the Asian Cup qualifier, Live: Football: AFC Asian Cup Qualifier Aus v Oman topped the week on subscription TV with 248,000 viewers. Live: Football: A-League Adel v Sydney was watched by 73,000, Live: Football: EPL A Villa v Chelsea was seen by 68,000 and Live: Cricket: Ford Ranger Cup was seen by 68,000 people (all on FOX Sports).

"New Zealand's Next Top Model premiered on FOX8 with 111,000 viewers, NCIS on TV1 was watched by 99,000 people, Stargate: Universe on Sci Fi was seen by 90,000 and Grand Designs on Lifestyle was viewed by 87,000 people. Doc Martin on UKTV had its biggest audience of the year so far with 81,000 viewers, Law & Order on W was watched by 76,000 and 71,000 people saw Dora the Explorer on Nick Jr.

"In week 42, STV channels represented 20.6% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 19.6% of all regional viewing and 55.1% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

Just for a change, what viewers aged over 55 watched, week ending October 17
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 766,000 191,000 182,000 210,000 80,000 104,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 735,000 187,000 217,000 134,000 96,000 101,000
3 ABC NEWS-SU ABC1 732,000 217,000 225,000 135,000 74,000 81,000
4 ABC NEWS-SA ABC1 720,000 208,000 233,000 121,000 73,000 85,000
5 FOUR CORNERS ABC1 683,000 198,000 178,000 136,000 61,000 110,000
6 LAST CHANCE SURGERY Seven 677,000 146,000 221,000 137,000 86,000 88,000
7 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 676,000 175,000 192,000 133,000 84,000 91,000
8 AUSTRALIAN STORY ABC1 672,000 220,000 185,000 123,000 61,000 83,000
9 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 672,000 162,000 197,000 135,000 96,000 83,000
10 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 668,000 139,000 220,000 136,000 83,000 90,000
11 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 656,000 150,000 157,000 173,000 72,000 104,000
12 JONATHAN CREEK: THE GRINNING MAN ABC1 652,000 207,000 185,000 104,000 71,000 86,000
13 ABC NEWS ABC1 635,000 193,000 194,000 112,000 56,000 80,000
14 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 630,000 168,000 170,000 122,000 87,000 82,000
15 BORDER SECURITY Seven 626,000 203,000 147,000 130,000 72,000 74,000
16 HEART AND SOUL ABC1 618,000 171,000 187,000 96,000 78,000 86,000
17 HUNTER ABC1 609,000 198,000 179,000 96,000 71,000 65,000
18 THE BILL ABC1 590,000 178,000 160,000 91,000 76,000 85,000
19 GANGES ABC1 583,000 161,000 150,000 126,000 69,000 77,000

• by David Dale at 08:49 AM
• Comments (65)

WHO WE ARE: The musts and the maybes

To design the perfect TV channel, go to The Tribal Mind

A column about identity by David Dale
To be a good and true Aussie, there are some things you absolutely must know about this country, and there are some things you probably should know but don't really need to. The borderline between these two states of wisdom is about to shift, so that, for example, Don Bradman will move from essential knowledge to optional trivia.

From October 19, the test that must be taken by anyone wanting to become a citizen will be based on a new booklet called "Australian Citizenship: Our Common Bond", written since Kevin Rudd came to power. Before October 19, anyone applying for citizenship must take a test based on a booklet called "Becoming An Australian Citizen", written while John Howard was in power.

The rewrite was designed to reflect how Australian attitudes have changed since the Howard decade, and the books are so different that pre-October 19 citizens may have some difficulty communicating with post October 19 citizens. It's not just that in the Howard booklet, Bradman, cyclist Hubert Opperman and billiards player Walter Lindrum were testable items while the Rudd booklet moves Bradman to a non-testable section at the back, and dumps Oppy and Lindrum altogether.

This column has compared the two texts, and come up with a test of how well you understand the subtle differences between late 90s thinking and late Noughties thinking. Here's how to play: print out this page, grab a pencil and put the letter H (for Howard booklet) or R (for Rudd rewrite) against each of these quotes.

1 "Australian citizenship is more than a ceremony. It is at the heart of Australia's national identity in the 21st century, as a nation at ease with the world and with itself."

2 "The workers turned to politics and in 1891 created the Labor Party whose first task was to restore and improve the workers' wages and conditions. There was a degree of sympathy from many middle class people for the plight of the workers, for everyone believed that in Australia there should be no poverty and no harsh conflicts."

3 "The Liberals were suspicious of government and encouraged individual enterprise while the more radical wanted to roll back the level of government activity. "

4 "It is a serious crime to bribe a police officer. It is a crime to even offer a bribe to a police officer."

5 "The colonists, like most people then, believed that there were differences between races and that the Chinese were inferior, but they also did not want a society with deep divisions or where foreign outcasts worked for low wages and lowered the dignity of all labour."

6 "We value our vibrant and skilled workforce."

7 "Many of the Aboriginal people in these remote locations do not live well. This is a great dilemma facing Australian society. Australia faces an ongoing challenge to ensure that the Aboriginal people fully share in the life and prosperity of the nation."

8 "The dry inland areas are called 'the outback'. There is great respect for people who live and work in these remote and harsh environments. Many of them have become part of Australian folklore. "

9 "In Australia, there is a spirit of 'mateship'. This means we help and receive help from each other in times of need. A mate is often a friend, but can also be a total stranger. A mate might take a meal to an elderly neighbour, drive a friend to a medical appointment or visit someone who is lonely. "

10 "Queen Elizabeth II has been a strong, stable presence throughout her long and popular reign".

11 "You can walk the desert or the shore, the mountains or the rainforests. Every step you take is a step closer to belonging to this vast and vibrant land."

12 "Over the years, the Eureka rebellion has become a symbol of protest and our belief in a fair go."

13 "The gaining of democratic reforms would have happened without the Eureka rebellion, but over the years it has become a symbol of protest and popular rights."

14 "Sir Donald Bradman was the greatest cricket batsman of all time. He was small and slight but amazingly quick on his feet, playing his shots almost like a machine. Among all Australian sporting heroes, Bradman is the best known."

15 "Sir Donald Bradman is the greatest cricket batsman of all-time and is an Australian sporting legend. He was slight but amazingly quick on his feet. Sir Donald Bradman, known as 'The Don', is recognised as the world's best ever batsman."

Go below for the answers and to discuss whether this is the sort of material we should be teaching our new citizens

• by David Dale at 02:44 PM
• Comments (8)

The Who We Are update: Week 41

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To learn why daggy is the new black, go to The Tribal Mind.
To test if you're a good and true Australian, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
A combination of biffo and Hey Hey It's Golliwogs (with both reunions repeated on GO - six hours of vintage television) gave Channel Nine a convincing win for the week. The prime time audience shares were: Nine&GO 31.1 per cent, Seven&Still-no-new-station-because-they-keep-farting-around-(but click-here-to-see-what-Seven-should-be-doing) 26.2, Ten&ONE 19.6, ABC1&2 17.8, SBS1&2 5.3.

And this was Pay TV's account of itself: "The Australian premiere of Stargate: Universe on Sci Fi was seen by 149,000 people, giving the channel its biggest audience ever. In this new series, a team of scientists and soldiers journey through the universe on the Ancient ship Destiny. In other entertainment programming this week, America's Next Top Model on FOX8 was watched by 129,000 and NCIS on TV1 was viewed by 98,000. The Inspector Lynley Mysteries on UKTV had its best result for 2009 so far with 97,000 viewers, Property Ladder on Lifestyle drew 96,000 people and The Silence of the Lambs premiered on FOX Classics with 82,000.

"The FOX Sports coverage of the 'friendly' between the Australian and Dutch football teams, Live: Football: International, topped the week on subscription TV with 208,000 viewers. In other sport, Live: Cricket: ICC Champions Trophy Final Aus v NZ was watched by 109,000, 94,000 people saw Live: Football: A-League Melb v Sydney (both on FOX Sports) and Sky Racing on Sky Raceday was seen by 74,000 people.

"In week 41, STV channels represented 20.3% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 19.9% of all regional viewing and 54.7% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending October 10
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 RUGBY LEAGUE GRAND FINAL Nine 2,528,000 1,163,000 682,000 563,000 54,000 66,000
2 HEY HEY REUNION -EP2 Nine 2,213,000 609,000 874,000 351,000 186,000 194,000
3 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,772,000 422,000 672,000 400,000 136,000 143,000
4 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,756,000 449,000 572,000 311,000 215,000 207,000
5 MIDSOMER MURDERS-SU ABC1 1,508,000 443,000 487,000 214,000 154,000 210,000
6 LAST CHANCE SURGERY Seven 1,490,000 348,000 454,000 319,000 170,000 199,000
7 FLASHFORWARD Seven 1,469,000 516,000 360,000 254,000 176,000 163,000
8 TWO AND A HALF MEN -MON Nine 1,466,000 329,000 534,000 321,000 125,000 157,000
9 NCIS Ten 1,453,000 409,000 416,000 283,000 155,000 190,000
10 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,414,000 304,000 425,000 305,000 179,000 201,000
11 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,343,000 443,000 355,000 229,000 170,000 147,000
12 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,336,000 351,000 378,000 265,000 157,000 185,000
13 60 MINUTES Nine 1,336,000 374,000 451,000 267,000 128,000 116,000
14 RUGBY LEAGUE GRAND FINAL ENTERTAINMENT Nine 1,328,000 665,000 283,000 326,000 20,000 35,000
15 RUGBY LEAGUE GRAND FINAL PRESENTATION Nine 1,317,000 764,000 Not shown 490,000 Not shown 63,000
16 HIGHWAY PATROL Seven 1,295,000 393,000 405,000 200,000 146,000 152,000
17 DESTROYED IN SECONDS Seven 1,294,000 415,000 375,000 204,000 144,000 156,000

• by David Dale at 11:06 AM
• Comments (84)

The Who We Are update: Week 40

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To test if you're a good and true Australian, go to Who We Are.
For the winners in our contest to design the perfect TV channel, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10am Monday
Even before the grand final, Channel Nine won the week -- with much help from its baby channel GO and its nostalgiafest Hey Hey It's A Mob of Geriatrics. The prime time audience shares were: Nine&GO 28.3, Seven&Still-no-new-station-because-they-keep-farting-around-but click-to here-to-see-what-Seven-should-be-doing 28.3, Ten&ONE 20.1, ABC1&2 17.8, SBS1&2 5.3.

"In week 40, subscription TV was the number one source of TV across Australia. STV channels represented 21.8% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 21.2% of all regional viewing and 57.2% of all viewing in subscription TV homes.

"America's Next Top Model topped the week with 158,000 viewers seeing the live broadcast on FOX8 and a total of 224,000 people watching the program on Tuesday night when viewers to the delayed broadcast on FOX8+2 are included. Disney Channel's Hannah Montana achieved a year-to-date high with 140,000 viewers, NCIS on TV1 was watched by 117,000 people and The Dark Knight premiered on Movie One with 110,000 viewers. WWE Smackdown! on FOX8 also had a year's best result with 96,000, WALL-E premiered on Disney Channel with 84,000 people, M*A*S*H on FOX Classics was watched by 79,000 people, Eastenders on UKTV was seen by 71,000 people and Kirstie's Homemade Home premiered on Lifestyle with 61,000 viewers."

"Live: Cricket: ICC Champions Trophy on Friday night was seen by 136,000 people, Live: AFL: On The Couch was viewed by 128,000 people and 85,000 watched Live: Football: A-League Melb v Brisb (all on FOX Sports). Sky Raceday on Sky Racing was seen by 81,000 people."

Just for a change, what viewers 16-39 watched, week ending October 2
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 HEY HEY REUNION Nine 687,000 211,000 231,000 113,000 52,000 79,000
2 FLASHFORWARD Seven 622,000 198,000 173,000 114,000 66,000 71,000
3 CELEBRITY MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Ten 524,000 127,000 204,000 73,000 60,000 60,000
4 NCIS Ten 518,000 132,000 134,000 125,000 65,000 61,000
5 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 495,000 182,000 143,000 70,000 40,000 60,000
6 GLEE THURS Ten 459,000 127,000 125,000 87,000 43,000 78,000
7 TWO AND A HALF MEN -EP2 Nine 439,000 124,000 142,000 81,000 42,000 50,000
8 THE FORCE - BEHIND THE LINE Seven 435,000 132,000 132,000 92,000 29,000 50,000
9 HIGHWAY PATROL Seven 434,000 123,000 134,000 91,000 37,000 49,000
10 BORDER SECURITY Seven 401,000 116,000 116,000 99,000 28,000 42,000
11 TWO AND A HALF MEN -EP1 Nine 400,000 118,000 143,000 69,000 30,000 40,000
12 AUSTRALIAN IDOL Ten 400,000 119,000 116,000 84,000 45,000 36,000
13 GOOD NEWS WEEK Ten 388,000 119,000 123,000 80,000 36,000 29,000
14 20 TO 1 -TUE Nine 383,000 111,000 113,000 84,000 36,000 39,000
15 MERCY Seven 381,000 90,000 135,000 73,000 36,000 47,000
16 RUSH Ten 350,000 100,000 124,000 69,000 24,000 33,000
17 BORDER SECURITY-MON Seven 346,000 95,000 98,000 69,000 42,000 42,000
18 TOP GEAR SBS ONE 329,000 97,000 99,000 68,000 33,000 32,000
19 NCIS RPT Ten 328,000 80,000 101,000 63,000 45,000 37,000
20 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION SUN RPT Ten 327,000 97,000 83,000 81,000 43,000 24,000
21 ROVE Ten 325,000 93,000 113,000 58,000 27,000 35,000
22 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 321,000 99,000 84,000 52,000 35,000 50,000
23 NCIS: LOS ANGELES Ten 321,000 87,000 77,000 72,000 40,000 45,000

• by David Dale at 10:52 PM
• Comments (112)

WHO WE ARE: The national dish

To help create the perfect television station, go to The Tribal Mind.
For daily updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

by David Dale
How reassuring that research has finally confirmed what this column has been asserting for years -- that spag bol has replaced meat pie as The National Dish (go here for earlier discussion).

The question was "What are you having for dinner tonight?" A Pollinate survey of 2000 people, conducted for Adelaide's Sunday Mail newspaper, got this answer: 1 Spaghetti bolognese; 2 Roast chicken and vegetables 3 Steak with salad or vegetables; 4 Fish with salad or vegetables; 5 Pizza.

I'd actually been wondering whether, by now, pad Thai noodles would have the strongest claim to the title "Australia's national dish". But it would be more accurate to call them "the national takeaway", while spag bol is the king of home cooking.

Next we need a new survey to ascertain the preferred recipe of the majority of consumers -- beef and tomatoes, obviously, but what percentage include celery, carrot, bacon, oregano, thyme, red wine, onions or garlic?

Go to Comments to join this column's totally unreliable survey. Give us your perfect recipe for The National Dish.

• by David Dale at 06:03 PM
• Comments (4)

The Who We Are update: Week 39

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To discuss if Packed to the Rafters is too self-indulgent, go to The Tribal Mind.
To offer your recipe for Australia's National Dish, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 9am Monday
If GO were counted as a separate station, then Channel Seven won the week. Since GO is counted as part of Channel Nine for audience share purposes, we have to say that a combination of GO and biffo won the week for Nine -- but only just. The prime time shares were: Nine and GO 28.4 per cent; Seven 28.1; TEN and ONE 21.2; ABC1&2 17.0; SBS1&2 5.3.

If you're wondering how TEN could have done so poorly when on Saturday it had the second-most-watched program of the year, bear in mind that the AFL grand final did not occur in prime time. Although the OzTAM chart shows the GF getting 2.7 million, Ten is saying the match itself averaged 2.88m, and was the most watched GF of all time in Melbourne. To see how the audience for this year's GF compares with the audience records across the mainland capitals, go to The TV shows Australia loved.

Now here's your challenge: since the NRL grand final this year involves a Melbourne team against a Sydney team, will it pick up enough Melbourne viewers to outrate the AFL grand final across the mainland capitals? After all, the AFL grand final has done best in years when the Sydney Swans have been involved. Go to Comments to register your prediction for the biffo audience.

And this was Pay TV's account of itself: "Family Guy topped the week in subscription TV with 136,000 viewers for the Tuesday night broadcast on FOX8. NCIS on TV1 was seen by 127,000 viewers, America's Next Top Model on FOX8 was seen by 117,000 and the movie Notting Hill on TV1 had its best result of the year with 116,000 people. The Disney Channel original movie Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie was seen by 103,000 viewers, Property Ladder on Lifestyle was seen by 83,000 viewers and the premiere of CIA: Cop Killer: The Winchester Assassination on Crime & Investigation was watched by 82,000 people.

"Saturday evening's broadcast of the ICC cricket contest, Live: Cricket: ICC Champions Trophy was seen by 99,000 people, Live: Rugby League: Toyota Cup was viewed by 82,000 people and 71,000 fans tuned in to watch one of the great Manchester Premier League derbies, Live: Football: EPL Man Utd v Man City (all on FOX Sports).

"In week 39, STV channels represented 19.6% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 20.1% of all regional viewing and 53.1% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending September 26
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 TEN'S AFL FINALS 2009: GRAND FINAL ST KILDA V GEELONG Ten 2,704,000 309,000 1,426,000 254,000 403,000 312,000
2 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,766,000 542,000 532,000 268,000 198,000 226,000
3 HIGHWAY PATROL Seven 1,698,000 390,000 637,000 283,000 195,000 194,000
4 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,512,000 399,000 396,000 344,000 181,000 192,000
5 THE 2009 GRAND FINAL PRE MATCH ENTERTAINMENT Ten 1,505,000 120,000 920,000 92,000 225,000 147,000
6 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,501,000 391,000 451,000 266,000 186,000 207,000
7 MIDSOMER MURDERS-SU ABC1 1,479,000 436,000 470,000 220,000 150,000 203,000
8 BORDER SECURITY - AUSTRALIA'S FRONT LINE Seven 1,432,000 438,000 408,000 268,000 156,000 162,000
9 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,414,000 378,000 381,000 269,000 187,000 199,000
10 LAST CHANCE SURGERY Seven 1,394,000 389,000 411,000 240,000 164,000 190,000
11 RUGBY LEAGUE FINAL SERIES PF2 Nine 1,353,000 578,000 324,000 431,000 13,000 7,000
12 TWO AND A HALF MEN -WED Nine 1,344,000 348,000 433,000 271,000 136,000 156,000
13 THE FORCE - BEHIND THE LINE Seven 1,341,000 419,000 375,000 251,000 146,000 149,000
14 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,333,000 352,000 362,000 260,000 169,000 190,000
15 WORLD'S STRICTEST PARENTS-UK Seven 1,319,000 377,000 354,000 235,000 182,000 172,000
16 SUNDAY NIGHT Seven 1,308,000 349,000 355,000 262,000 161,000 181,000
17 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,275,000 355,000 284,000 274,000 162,000 200,000
18 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,217,000 374,000 356,000 203,000 149,000 134,000
19 GETAWAY Nine 1,164,000 307,000 435,000 163,000 125,000 134,000
20 NINE NEWS Nine 1,162,000 333,000 359,000 230,000 130,000 111,000
21 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,158,000 316,000 308,000 216,000 158,000 161,000
22 CITY HOMICIDE-WED Seven 1,154,000 334,000 343,000 192,000 122,000 163,000

• by David Dale at 08:45 AM
• Comments (66)

WHO WE ARE: The marsupial messiah

For daily updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

A column by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 10/09/2009
THERE'S every good reason for Australians to eat kangaroos (healthier than beef or lamb for both the consumer and the environment) and only one reason why we don't: The Skippy Complex. Half of this country's population is over the age of 37, which means that in their youth they were saturated with a TV series in which a superintelligent mammal regularly saved humans from death, deception and wrongful imprisonment. Some 10 million Australians are pathologically incapable of sinking their teeth into a creature they see as the dolphin of the land.

This misplaced sentimentality will be challenged when the ABC shows a documentary called Skippy, Australia's First Superstar. It reports that between 1967 and 1969, Fauna Productions made 91 episodes of a series that presented the kangaroo as the next best thing to Batman. Initially shown on Channel Nine on Monday nights, Skippy The Bush Kangaroo was repeated endlessly in Australia for the next 20 years and went on to be seen by 300 million people in 128 countries.

In the process it became a merchandising phenomenon, generating toys, pyjamas, icecreams, ashtrays, jewellery, soap, talcum powder, comics, jellybeans, rulers, pencils, puzzles, toothpaste, T-shirts, towels, soft drinks, moneyboxes and corn flakes. And a mythical view of marsupials.

The only Western nation which resisted the roo's relentless rollout was Sweden, which politely declined to show the series because it might give children "a misleading impression of an animal's abilities". What? Just because Skippy can make phone calls, open a safe, handle the controls of a helicopter, play the piano and the drums, and communicate at a level of sophistication rarely achieved by a 12 year old human being?

(Sample dialogue, after Skippy brings an engine part to ranger Tony Bonner ...
Skippy: Tchk tchk tchk.
Bonner: It's from Jim!
Skippy: Tchk tchk tchk.
Bonner: He's in trouble, his car's broken down, he can't get to the show! Is that it, Skip?
Skippy: Tchk tchk tchk.
Bonner: Come on, Skip, we haven't much time.)

In the documentary, various animal wranglers reveal that kangaroos are impossible to train, because they are "dumber than sheep". Their acting range is limited to sitting still, looking around and hopping away, so the producers filmed 14 different animals in the hope of capturing enough variety of movement to fit with script needs. Before any scene, the chosen roo was kept in a hessian bag, so that she (yes, Skippy was female) would emerge dazed and compliant for a couple of minutes before making her escape.

Skippy's astonishing dexterity was achieved by filming close-ups of paws on sticks manipulated by puppeteers. Skippy's vocalizations came from a human with a tongue in his cheek. The sounds were matched to mouth movements achieved by putting dry grass, chewing gum or a rubber band in the star's mouth.

This is not to suggest that the documentary (to be shown on ABC1 at 8.30pm on September 17) is a scathing expose. It's an affectionate look at Australia's first venture into international program-making, and at how Skippy paved the way for more versatile actresses such as Nicole Kidman, Toni Collette, Cate Blanchett and Rachel Griffiths. But it may serve as a reality check which allows a less romanticised view of an animal whose flavour far exceeds its intelligence.

Go to Comments to discuss why Australians sentimentalise their fauna.

To estimate the IQ of our politicians and personalities, go to The Tribal Mind.

• by David Dale at 09:45 AM
• Comments (46)

The Who We Are update: Week 37

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To discuss the future of science fiction, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 9am Monday
One day can make all the difference. Until Saturday, Channel Seven was winning the week, but Saturday night's audience boost for Channel Nine (with tiny help from GO) led to these audience shares for the week: Nine and GO 28.1 per cent; Seven 27.9 per cent; Ten and ONE 20.8; ABC1 and ABC2 1.3; SBS and SBSTWO 5.8.

This was Pay TV's account of itself (and it's worth comparing these audience numbers with the numbers for the digital channels in the chart below): "On Tuesday night, 165,000 viewers watched Jarryd Hayne of the Parramatta Eels win the Dally M Player of the Year Award in Live: Rugby League: Dally M Awards. Twenty four hours earlier, 96,000 viewers saw Gary Ablett Jr. of Geelong awarded the AFL players' MVP trophy in AFL: Players Association Awards (both on FOX Sports). Live: NRL Broncos v Raiders was watched by 221,000 people, 111,000 people saw South Africa win the Tri Nations cup by beating New Zealand in Live: Rugby Union: Tri Nations and 82,000 watched Live: Cricket: ODI Eng v Aus 2nd ODI (all on FOX Sports).

"America's Next Top Model on FOX8 was watched by 147,000 people, NCIS on TV1 was seen by 110,000 people, and Project Runway Australia on Arena was viewed by 107,000 people. Hannah Montana on Disney Channel was viewed by 90,000 people, Garden Angels on Lifestyle had its best result year-to-date with 72,000 viewers and Nightmare Nannies premiered on Crime & Investigation with 65,000 viewers.

"In week 37, STV channels represented 21.1% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 20.4% of all regional viewing and 55.3% of all viewing in subscription TV homes. "

What Australia watched, week ending September 12
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,913,000 539,000 594,000 321,000 208,000 252,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,644,000 374,000 628,000 303,000 160,000 177,000
3 DANCING WITH THE STARS 9 - GRAND FINAL Seven 1,573,000 452,000 455,000 318,000 151,000 197,000
4 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,461,000 514,000 428,000 264,000 118,000 138,000
5 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,452,000 391,000 417,000 274,000 159,000 211,000
6 WORLD'S STRICTEST PARENTS Seven 1,395,000 417,000 439,000 240,000 151,000 149,000
7 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,388,000 376,000 403,000 269,000 144,000 197,000
8 HAMISH AND ANDY'S AMERICAN CARAVAN OF COURAGE Ten 1,307,000 283,000 500,000 258,000 116,000 150,000
9 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,295,000 378,000 462,000 212,000 148,000 96,000
10 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,272,000 320,000 455,000 232,000 102,000 162,000
11 CITY HOMICIDE-MON Seven 1,262,000 356,000 399,000 210,000 123,000 175,000
12 THE FARMER WANTS A WIFE Nine 1,256,000 321,000 425,000 246,000 111,000 153,000
13 TWO AND A HALF MEN -WED Nine 1,238,000 320,000 385,000 268,000 119,000 145,000
14 20 TO 1 -RPT Nine 1,227,000 335,000 407,000 208,000 116,000 160,000
15 WORLD FOOD SPECTACULAR Seven 1,226,000 342,000 368,000 240,000 124,000 152,000
16 20 TO 1 -THU Nine 1,208,000 366,000 347,000 209,000 126,000 159,000
17 60 MINUTES Nine 1,204,000 382,000 378,000 240,000 96,000 109,000
18 TEN'S AFL FINALS 2009: 1ST SEMI FINAL COLL V ADEL Ten 1,202,000 80,000 536,000 64,000 330,000 193,000
19 SEVEN'S AFL: SEMI-FINAL 2: WESTERN BULLDOGS V BRISBANE LIONS Seven 1,187,000 79,000 580,000 165,000 184,000 179,000

• by David Dale at 07:52 AM
• Comments (62)

The Who We Are update: What women watch (Week 38)

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To offer your recipe for Australia's National Dish, go to Who We Are.
To help create the perfect television station, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10am Monday
These were the prime time audience shares for the week: Nine and GO 28.9 per cent, Seven 27.5 per cent, Ten and ONE 20.7, ABC1&2 17.7, SBS1&2 5.2. This was Pay TV's account of itself: "Melbourne designer Anthony Capon defeated William Lazootin and Lauren Vieyra in the finale of the designer competition, Project Runway Australia: Finale. The Wednesday night broadcast on Arena achieved a season high 191,000 viewers for the second series of the program. America's Next Top Model on FOX8 was watched by 157,000 people, NCIS on TV1 was seen by 143,000 subscribers, The Simpsons on Fox 8 133,000 and the Disney Channel premiere of Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie was watched by 119,000 people. Deadliest Catch on Discovery Channel had a year-to-date biggest audience of 118,000 people, Property Ladder on Lifestyle was viewed by 101,000 people and Summer Heights High on Comedy Channel was seen by 60,000 people.

"Live: Rugby Union: Bledisloe Cup on FOX Sports was seen by 132,000 viewers, AFL: On the Couch was watched by 112,000 people and the AFL: All Australian team was announced on Monday night to 95,000 viewers (all on FOX Sports). Sky Racing's coverage of the spring racing carnival on Saturday, Sky Raceday, was seen by 87,000 viewers.

"In week 38, STV channels represented 21.3% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 20.4% of all regional viewing and 55.2% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

Just for a change, what women aged 25-54 watched, week ending September 19
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 546,000 188,000 147,000 83,000 55,000 74,000
2 THE FARMER WANTS A WIFE -FINALE Nine 534,000 140,000 185,000 109,000 40,000 60,000
3 THE FARMER WANTS A WIFE Nine 452,000 115,000 155,000 98,000 33,000 51,000
4 WORLD'S STRICTEST PARENTS-UK Seven 426,000 130,000 122,000 70,000 54,000 49,000
5 20 TO 1 -RPT Nine 363,000 116,000 119,000 57,000 28,000 43,000
6 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 354,000 113,000 99,000 72,000 31,000 40,000
7 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 349,000 99,000 113,000 72,000 36,000 29,000
8 LAST CHANCE SURGERY Seven 347,000 116,000 95,000 64,000 30,000 42,000
9 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 347,000 131,000 104,000 66,000 29,000 16,000
10 60 MINUTES Nine 346,000 100,000 114,000 67,000 34,000 30,000
11 ALL SAINTS Seven 342,000 124,000 103,000 46,000 31,000 38,000
12 AFL: PRELIMINARY FINAL 1: ST KILDA V WESTERN BULLDOG Seven 341,000 26,000 211,000 18,000 51,000 33,000

• by David Dale at 07:49 AM
• Comments (73)

The Who We Are update: Week 35

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To learn how Skippy brainwashed Australia, go to Who We Are.
To estimate the IQ of our politicians and personalities, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
The new digital station GO may be attracting less than 2 per cent of the viewing audience most days, but it is helping its parent, Channel Nine, to increase its total share for the week. Here's the prime time audience breakup among the parent networks (with Nine incorporating GO, Ten incorporating ONE, and ABC incorporating ABC2): Seven 27.8 per cent, Nine 27.3, Ten 21.8, ABC 17.8, SBS 5.2.

It's interesting that the advent of GO, ONE and ABC2 does not seem to be cutting into the audiences for Pay TV. In Pay TV's account of itself for the week, compare the audience sizes with GO's numbers in the charts below: "Various television fathers, including Homer Simpson of The Simpsons and Peter Griffin of Family Guy helped subscription TV become the number one television choice in the week leading up to Father's Day. In week 36, subscription TV channels represented 21.9% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 21.8% of all regional viewing and 56.4% of all viewing in subscription TV homes.

"NCIS on TV1, with Leroy Gibbs as the team's father figure, was watched by 130,000 people, The Simpsons on FOX8 was seen by 125,000 people and Family Guy (FOX8) was seen by 121,000 viewers. In other entertainment programming, series seven of Property Ladder on Lifestyle drew a year-to-date highest audience for the program with 105,000 viewers; Project Runway Australia on Arena was seen by 102,000 people and Deadliest Catch on Discovery Channel by 82,000 subscribers.

"AFL topped the week with 263,000 people watching Live: AFL Collingwood v Western Bulldogs, Live: NRL Raiders v Knights was viewed by 253,000 people and Live: AFL: On the Couch had its best ever result with 170,000 viewers (all on FOX Sports). The FOX Sports coverage of the thrilling Tri-Nation match between the Wallabies and Springboks, Live: Rugby Union: Tri Nations, was seen by 146,000 and Sky Raceday on Sky Racing was seen by 63,000 people."

What Australia watched, week ending September 6
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,943,000 587,000 590,000 326,000 198,000 242,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,686,000 438,000 506,000 336,000 166,000 240,000
3 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,563,000 440,000 513,000 264,000 156,000 189,000
4 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,493,000 410,000 417,000 298,000 165,000 203,000
5 MIDSOMER MURDERS-SUN ABC1 1,491,000 445,000 466,000 228,000 179,000 172,000
6 DANCING WITH THE STARS 9 Seven 1,401,000 430,000 382,000 293,000 129,000 167,000
7 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,397,000 366,000 393,000 294,000 141,000 202,000
8 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,393,000 414,000 414,000 291,000 165,000 110,000
9 CITY HOMICIDE-MON Seven 1,389,000 397,000 446,000 219,000 141,000 187,000
10 TWO AND A HALF MEN -WED Nine 1,360,000 337,000 458,000 306,000 128,000 132,000
11 SURF PATROL Seven 1,354,000 352,000 390,000 276,000 151,000 184,000
12 20 TO 1 Nine 1,337,000 413,000 371,000 256,000 138,000 158,000
13 MONEY FOR JAM Nine 1,332,000 340,000 457,000 288,000 122,000 124,000
14 AIR WAYS Seven 1,310,000 351,000 388,000 260,000 136,000 175,000
15 WORLD'S STRICTEST PARENTS-UK Seven 1,307,000 403,000 321,000 274,000 144,000 165,000

• by David Dale at 02:21 AM
• Comments (83)

The Who We Are update: Week 33

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To learn why Australians are going back to the stone age in their digital viewing, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
These were the prime time audience shares at the end of a week without Talkin' 'Bout Your Generation: SBS2 0.4 per cent; ONE 1.1; ABC2 1.4; GO 1.7; SBS 5.6 per cent; ABC 16.7; Ten 20.6; Nine 25.1; Seven 27.4.

Note that those percentages represent a share of free to air prime time viewing. If you include subscription TV, you get a different picture. This was Pay's account of itself: "In week 35, subscription TV was the number one source of television across Australia. STV channels represented 22.3% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 21.7% of all regional viewing and 57.5% of all viewing in subscription TV homes.

"As the football home-and-away schedules draw to a close, 282,000 people watched Live: NRL Titans v Wests Tigers and 232,000 saw Live: AFL Fremantle v Essendon; 105,000 people viewed Live: Cricket: Ashes: Day 4 Session 1 and 92,000 people saw Australia battle South Africa in Live: Rugby Union: Tri Nations (all on FOX Sports).

"In entertainment programming this week, NCIS on TV1 was seen by 131,000 people and Movie One's premiere of Indiana Jones: Kingdom of Crystal Skull was watched by 127,000 viewers. America's Next Top Model on FOX8 was seen by 116,000 people, Project Runway Australia had a season-to-date high with 108,000 viewers and iCarly on Nickelodeon also had a year-to-date best audience with 94,000 viewers. Destroyed in Seconds on Discovery Channel was seen by 84,000 people and the Michael Kanaan expose in Crime Investigation Australia on Crime & Investigation was watched by 83,000 people."

And if you thought Australian Idol was a flop this year, examine this chart, which suggests that it is working well with its target audience ...

What viewers aged 16-39 watched, week ending August 29
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 546,000 159,000 188,000 88,000 44,000 67,000
2 GOOD NEWS WEEK Ten 464,000 130,000 145,000 88,000 43,000 58,000
3 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - SEMI FINAL 1 Ten 447,000 138,000 120,000 88,000 40,000 61,000
4 ROVE Ten 444,000 106,000 157,000 86,000 44,000 51,000
5 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - TOP 100 Ten 444,000 121,000 128,000 93,000 47,000 54,000
6 RUSH Ten 432,000 123,000 144,000 91,000 20,000 54,000
7 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 432,000 120,000 140,000 77,000 48,000 48,000
8 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - SEMI FINAL 4 Ten 420,000 109,000 134,000 95,000 27,000 54,000
9 TWO AND A HALF MEN -WED Nine 406,000 92,000 140,000 102,000 34,000 38,000
10 THE FARMER WANTS A WIFE Nine 403,000 109,000 124,000 85,000 39,000 46,000
11 HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX Nine 395,000 118,000 118,000 67,000 40,000 52,000
12 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 390,000 84,000 133,000 85,000 30,000 58,000
13 20 TO 1 -RPT Nine 389,000 94,000 151,000 75,000 40,000 29,000
14 AIR WAYS Seven 388,000 112,000 135,000 77,000 32,000 31,000
15 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - SEMI FINAL 2 Ten 382,000 120,000 103,000 70,000 35,000 54,000

• by David Dale at 05:41 PM
• Comments (51)

WHO WE ARE: Pudding on the fritz

To learn how you can save Australia from looking stupid, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 23/8/2009
Kevin Rudd has been leader of the Labor Party for nearly three years, and in that time his opponents have been unable to substantiate any suggestion of misbehaviour against him. Like the Irishman Harrigan in the song (also called Harrigan), his is a name that a shame never has been connected with.

Until this month. Now the evidence is there for all to see in Hansard, the record of proceedings of the parliament. Kevin Rudd has imposed horrific tortures on a national hero. The Prime Minister stands revealed as a perpetrator of pudding abuse.

Two years ago this column's readers bestowed the title "the national metaphor" on The Magic Pudding (go here for that discussion). Albert (for that is the pudding's name) has been an infinitely renewable resource for pundits and politicians ever since his creation in 1918 by the artist Norman Lindsay.

Lindsay wrote: "What this pudding requires is politeness and constant eating." Sadly, Kevin Rudd has provided only the latter.

In Lindsay's book, Albert's friend Bill Barnacle outlined his three characteristics:
1) "The more you eats, the more you gets. Cut and come again is his name and cut and come again is his nature".
2) Although Albert was originally a steak and kidney pudding, you can change his flavour if you whistle three times and turn the plate around. Then Albert will encourage you to "eat away, chew away, munch and bolt and guzzle. Never leave the table till you're full up to the muzzle."
3) Albert gets his kicks by tricking people. "He's that artful, lawyers couldn't manage him," says Bill. "If you wasn't up to his games, he'd be asking you to look at a spider and then run away while your back is turned."

The former Prime Minister, Paul Keating, was a grateful consumer. Revealing that he had actually read the book, he accused the Liberal Party of being "puddin' thieves" (the villains in Lindsay's book, while "puddin' owners" are the heroes). He remarked: "The Coalition parties have always regarded Telstra as some sort of magic pudding from which they could cut a slice to pay for their election commitments."

Keating's successor, John Howard, used to call the Labor Shadow Treasurer "Mr Magic Pudding Himself", because he promised increased government spending simultaneously with tax cuts.

It was only a matter of time before Kevin Rudd poked his spoon into the basin. Over recent months this column has been tracking his use of antiquated Australianisms. "Fair shake of the sauce bottle, mate" he told a journalist asking an impertinent question. He described the Muslim cleric Taj El-Din Hilaly as "several sandwiches short of a picnic", and when he got food poisoning, he said he'd had to "drive the porcelain bus".

These attempts to make himself sound more like an ocker and less like a nerd were lame but harmless. Then, on August 10, his climate change minister Penny Wong remarked that Malcolm Turnbull's proposal for a cheap solution to climate change had "the distinct taste of magic pudding". That got a small laugh, so the next day Rudd decided to improve on it: "Mr Speaker, this is a rolled-gold, unreconstructed, Magic Pudding from Central Casting.''

Poor Albert. He's encased in precious metal, rendering him not only uncomfortable but also inedible. He's unable to reconstruct himself, leaving him stuck as steak and kidney. And he's accused of being a generic acting stereotype, when of course, he's unique.

This crime against an icon was so blatant you'd have expected Turnbull to demand Rudd's resignation. His silence suggests he secretly envies Rudd for getting in first. Like all politicians, Turnbull is a pudding-abuser-in-waiting.

Go to comments to suggest appropriate punishment.

• by David Dale at 11:06 AM
• Comments (1)

The Who We Are update: Week 32

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To learn how you can save Australia from looking stupid, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
Channel Seven's victory for the week was diminished by the poor performance of the Bledisloe Cup on Saturday. Australia is often described as "sports mad", but rugby union seems to be an exception -- even when you add in the genuinely "live" audience on Pay TV. At week's end, the prime time audience shares stood at: Seven 28.3 per cent, Nine 26.6, Ten 20.8, ABC 16.5, SBS 7.8.

Here is Pay TV's account of itself: "Hollywood's most famous archaeologist entertained subscribers as Movie One played the first three Indiana Jones movies across successive nights this week. The Saturday night broadcast of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was seen by 101,000 viewers and a total of 147,000 people including the audience to the delayed broadcast on Movie Two. This week's episode of America's Next Top Model on FOX8 was seen by 146,000 people, Notting Hill on TV1 was seen by 113,000 viewers, Project Runway Australia by 105,000 and Tuesday night's episode of M*A*S*H on Fox Classics was watched by 88,000.

"In viewing to a different Crusade, 210,000 fans watched Australia battle the English in Live: Cricket: Ashes: Day 1 Session 1 on FOX Sports. In football, 276,000 people watched Live: NRL Knights v Cowboys, 229,000 watched Live: AFL Essendon v St Kilda and 180,000 watched Live: Rugby Union: Bledisloe Cup. In week 34, Live: AFL: On the Couch had its best result ever with 149,000 viewers (all on FOX Sports).

"STV channels represented 21.7% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 22.1% of all regional viewing and 56.7% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

And for fans hoping for a sudden surge in support for their codes, the charts below show audiences for all the football games that OzTAM reported over the weekend.

What Australia watched, week ending August 22
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,894,000 567,000 589,000 312,000 205,000 221,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,714,000 440,000 496,000 357,000 190,000 230,000
3 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,609,000 457,000 481,000 353,000 183,000 135,000
4 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,549,000 448,000 478,000 277,000 185,000 161,000
5 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,523,000 465,000 462,000 272,000 157,000 167,000
6 WORLD'S STRICTEST PARENTS Seven 1,521,000 458,000 427,000 274,000 176,000 187,000
7 DANCING WITH THE STARS 9 Seven 1,492,000 453,000 391,000 307,000 173,000 168,000
8 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,475,000 417,000 401,000 294,000 165,000 197,000
9 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,440,000 440,000 422,000 274,000 133,000 170,000
10 CITY HOMICIDE-MON Seven 1,390,000 395,000 453,000 209,000 172,000 160,000
11 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,377,000 378,000 396,000 296,000 142,000 165,000
12 BONES Seven 1,376,000 413,000 385,000 255,000 183,000 139,000
13 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,372,000 304,000 531,000 259,000 126,000 152,000
14 60 MINUTES Nine 1,327,000 388,000 406,000 265,000 122,000 147,000
15 GETAWAY Nine 1,309,000 366,000 458,000 247,000 95,000 142,000
16 DOMESTIC BLITZ Nine 1,307,000 366,000 378,000 289,000 139,000 135,000

• by David Dale at 09:21 AM
• Comments (69)

The Who We Are update: Week 31

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To discuss the credibility crisis of Australia's magazines, go to The Tribal Mind.
To learn how to abolish State Governments, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
Channel Ten managed only 14.6 per cent of the prime time audience on Friday night, easily beaten by the ABC on 20.4 per cent, thanks to George Gently, its new detective series. No wonder the shares for the week (and probably for the rest of the year) ended up thus: Seven 28.0 per cent, Nine 26.3, Ten 21.6, ABC 17.5 and SBS 6.6. We can expect Celebrity MasterChef to be rushed to air within weeks.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "The English Premier League football season kicked off on Saturday night with 76,000 people watching Live: Football: EPL Chelsea v Hull on FOX Sports. In other sport, 316,000 viewers watched Live: NRL Broncos v Sharks, 277,000 watched Live: Cricket: Ashes: Day 3 Session 1 (the biggest audience for the Ashes series so far), 264,000 viewed Live: NRL Raiders v Dragons and 192,000 people saw Live: AFL Bris Lions v Western Bulldogs (all on FOX Sports).

"The Simpsons topped the week in entertainment programming with 150,000 viewers on FOX8, America's Next Top Model (also on FOX8) was seen by 135,000 people and NCIS on TV1 had 109,000 viewers. Daddy Day Care premiered on TV1 with 107,000 viewers, Disney Channel's broadcast of The Parent Trap was watched by 95,000 people and Project Runway Australia on Arena was seen by 93,000.

"In week 33, STV channels represented 21.7% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 20.4% of all regional viewing and 56.4% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending August 15
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,909,000 584,000 577,000 323,000 206,000 219,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,672,000 409,000 486,000 389,000 163,000 225,000
3 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,560,000 501,000 508,000 249,000 200,000 102,000
4 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,528,000 431,000 398,000 304,000 184,000 211,000
5 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,521,000 388,000 553,000 257,000 146,000 177,000
6 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,508,000 487,000 460,000 229,000 135,000 197,000
7 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,492,000 452,000 524,000 207,000 155,000 155,000
8 WORLD'S STRICTEST PARENTS-UK Seven 1,453,000 411,000 408,000 275,000 194,000 164,000
9 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,448,000 439,000 457,000 263,000 138,000 151,000
10 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,388,000 371,000 379,000 279,000 167,000 192,000
11 GETAWAY Nine 1,372,000 433,000 375,000 276,000 126,000 162,000
12 SURF PATROL Seven 1,354,000 411,000 346,000 247,000 169,000 182,000
13 DOMESTIC BLITZ Nine 1,344,000 377,000 412,000 281,000 172,000 101,000

• by David Dale at 10:06 AM
• Comments (77)

WHO WE ARE: A State of quivering expectation

To learn why Kyle S and Malcolm T are victims of social change, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 9/8/2009
AWESOME is the only word for the power, reach and influence of this column's readers. A matter of days after they resoundingly endorsed this column's campaign to abolish State governments (which we listed as number 4 priority on The National To-Do List after becoming a republic, amalgamating with New Zealand and fixing the coat of arms), our political leaders start the process of abolition.

The prime minister reveals plans for Canberra to take over most of the States' current responsibilities in health care, while his deputy introduces a national schools curriculum, so Canberra can take control of education.

And Malcolm Turnbull urges the Federal Government to take control of our inland rivers, since the States have messed them up, while his rival Tony Abbott promotes a constitutional amendment to let the Federal Government override State laws. After that, the State governments might as well wither away for lack of anything to do, leaving local councils to take on their few remaining duties.

Of the readers who joined our forum, none expressed any enthusiasm for their State leadership (or their State opposition). The only apparently dissenting voice among the chorus of "Good riddance to bad management" was Andy, who asked: "What happens to the State of Origin?" Answer: It becomes the much more interesting Region of Origin series.

The plan to abolish the States includes the notion of amalgamating Australia's 677 local councils into 100 regional bodies, each serving a population of about 200,000 (go to The next big thing for details). Each region would send three representatives to the Senate in Canberra, so it would continue to be a house of review (but would concern itself only with major national initiatives, rather than all the tiny bills which currently constipate the upper house). There would be no difficulty in organising a series of rugby league matches between players originating in, say, Townsville and North Sydney or Newcastle and East Brisbane.

But before the process of defederalising goes too far, we should take one last look at what we're losing, to see if any of them have a unique quality worth preserving. I've been through all the reports released by the Bureau of Statistics for the past 12 months, noting any significant differences between the six former colonies. These details stood out ...

What's special about the States
Highest population: NSW (7 million). Lowest: Tasmania (500,000).
Highest unemployment: NSW (6.6 per cent). Lowest: Western Australia (5.2).
Most people aged over 65: South Australia. Most people under 15: Queensland.
Highest birth rate: Tasmania. Lowest: Victoria.
Most connected to internet: Qld (68 per cent of homes). Least connected: Tas (56).
Most religious: NSW (76 per cent). Least: SA (64).
Most people moving to: Qld. Most people moving from: Tas.
Lowest rate of personal crime: Vic. Highest: Qld.
Least building approvals: NSW. Most: WA.
Highest sporting attendance: SA. Lowest: NSW.
Highest attendance at live performances (concerts, plays, etc): WA. Lowest: Tas.
Highest marriage rate: Qld. Lowest: SA.
Highest divorce rate: Qld. Lowest: NSW.
Most living in sin before marriage: Tas. Fewest: NSW.
Most people saying they are delighted or pleased with their lives: Brisbane and Perth equal (55.7 per cent). Fewest: Melbourne (47.9).
Cheapest beer in pubs: Sydney. Costliest: Adelaide.
Cheapest chocolate: Brisbane. Costliest: Perth.
Cheapest bread: Hobart. Costliest: Melbourne
Cheapest rump steak: Sydney. Costliest: Brisbane
Cheapest oranges: Brisbane. Costliest: Perth.
Cheapest milk: Brisbane. Costliest: Hobart.
Cheapest potatoes: Sydney. Costliest: Perth.

So you might imagine Tasmanians are lustful, Queenslanders are violent, Victorians are depressed, Western Australians are rich and New South Welshpeople are devout. Are such cultural differences worth preserving or should we just go ahead and axe these historical and geographical anomalies? Join the discussion at Comments

• by David Dale at 02:41 PM
• Comments (78)

The Who We Are update: Week 30

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To learn why Kyle and Malcolm are victims of social change, go to The Tribal Mind.
To find out how to abolish State Governments, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
After a strong start, thanks to Meryl Streep and Shaun Micallef, it's back to business as usual for Channel Ten -- or no-business-as-usual, to be precise -- now that its 7pm drawcard has vanished. The week ended with the prime time audience shares thus: Seven 28.7 per cent, Nine 23.8, Ten 21.5, ABC 17.1, SBS 8.9 (thanks entirely to cricket).

Time for your prediction: how will Australian Idol go this year? Will the removal of Kyle lift its popularity, or had it passed its prime in any case? Go to Comments to predict Idol's Sunday night audience over the next three weeks.

This was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "194,000 viewers saw the Australian cricket team take the ascendancy in the fourth Ashes Test on Saturday night in Live: Cricket: Ashes: Day 2 Session 1 on FOX Sports. On Monday night football 317,000 people viewed Live: NRL Wests Tigers v Sea Eagles, the Sunday afternoon Aussie Rules game, Live: AFL West Coast v Essendon was seen by 191,000 people and 93,000 subscribers watched the 2009/10 A-League season kick off with Live: Football: A-League Melb v C Coast (all on FOX Sports).

"This week's episode of America's Next Top Model on FOX8 was watched by 152,000 viewers (a record for the season so far), the Sunday night broadcast of NCIS on TV1 was seen by 142,000 people and Wednesday night's Deadliest Catch on Discovery Channel was watched by 108,000 people. S.W.A.T. premiered on TV1 with 97,000 viewers, Dora the Explorer on Nick Jr. had its best audience of the year with 88,000 viewers and Law & Order on W was seen by 86,000 people.

"In week 32, STV channels represented 21.7% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 20.9% of all regional viewing and 56.8% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

Just for a change, what viewers aged 16-39 watched, week ending August 8
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 593,000 187,000 190,000 97,000 55,000 65,000
2 THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA RPT Ten 562,000 147,000 191,000 100,000 63,000 62,000
3 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 549,000 168,000 183,000 89,000 40,000 69,000
4 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 513,000 133,000 168,000 101,000 58,000 52,000
5 THE SIMPSONS WED Ten 488,000 129,000 174,000 91,000 54,000 39,000
6 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 477,000 121,000 140,000 106,000 55,000 56,000
7 GOOD NEWS WEEK Ten 474,000 122,000 142,000 85,000 65,000 60,000
8 THE ALL NEW SIMPSONS WED Ten 457,000 102,000 167,000 94,000 42,000 51,000
9 WORLD'S STRICTEST PARENTS Seven 440,000 130,000 112,000 92,000 51,000 55,000
10 MIRACLE OF THE HUDSON PLANE CRASH Seven 409,000 128,000 114,000 75,000 35,000 57,000
11 THE BIG BANG THEORY Nine 405,000 101,000 123,000 90,000 40,000 51,000
12 ERAGON Ten 401,000 127,000 116,000 70,000 43,000 44,000
13 RUSH Ten 393,000 95,000 165,000 63,000 32,000 37,000
14 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 391,000 82,000 142,000 84,000 33,000 48,000
15 UNITED STATES OF TARA ABC1 382,000 102,000 111,000 71,000 47,000 52,000

• by David Dale at 09:25 AM
• Comments (87)

The Who We Are update: Week 30

This forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss Australia's best satires of all time, go to The Tribal Mind.
To find out how to become a republic and absorb New Zealand, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
In the picture, you see Channels Seven, Nine and Ten. Once upon a time, Nine would have been the biggest fish. Now Seven is the one with the teeth. Channel Ten, which was looking for a while as if it could become the second-biggest fish, frittered away its advantage early in the week, and the prime time audience shares ended thus: Seven 29.3 per cent, Nine 24.3, Ten 22.4, ABC 17.6, SBS 6.3.

This was Pay TV's rather contorted account of itself: "Examples of the largest and the smallest winning margins were seen on subscription TV this weekend. In Live: NRL Raiders v Broncos, 270,000 viewers watched the Canberra Raiders trounce the Brisbane Broncos by 56-0, delivering the Brisbane team its biggest ever loss. In Live: AFL Sydney v St Kilda, 196,000 people saw the Saints beat the Sydney Swans by a single point after scoring a behind with 20 seconds left in the match. In other sport, 139,000 people watched Live: Cricket: Ashes: Day 2 Session 1, 129,000 saw Live: AFL: On the Couch and 101,000 subscribers watched Live: NRL Saturday Pre Game Show (all on FOX Sports).

"This week's episode of America's Next Top Model on FOX8 was watched by 123,000 viewers (210,000 with the Plus2 audience included). The Sunday night broadcast of NCIS on TV1 was seen by 116,000 people while Monday night's Law & Order on W was watched by 109,000 people. The new season of Deadliest Catch on Discovery Channel set a year-to-date record of 105,000 people, this week's episode of Project Runway Australia on Arena was seen by 99,000 people and Curious George on Nick Jr. had its best result of the year with an audience of 85,000.

"In week 31, STV channels represented 21.8% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 20.7% of all regional viewing and 57.1% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending August 1
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,983,000 488,000 553,000 413,000 273,000 256,000
2 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,932,000 576,000 619,000 322,000 181,000 233,000
3 DANCING WITH THE STARS 9 Seven 1,619,000 476,000 451,000 324,000 170,000 197,000
4 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,616,000 491,000 505,000 255,000 148,000 217,000
5 WORLD'S STRICTEST PARENTS Seven 1,595,000 486,000 425,000 319,000 170,000 195,000
6 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,565,000 462,000 394,000 330,000 159,000 220,000
7 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM Ten 1,534,000 497,000 405,000 241,000 201,000 190,000
8 SURF PATROL Seven 1,510,000 432,000 423,000 306,000 163,000 186,000
9 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,469,000 496,000 375,000 278,000 149,000 171,000
10 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,464,000 454,000 419,000 251,000 165,000 175,000
11 THE CHASER'S WAR ON EVERYTHING ABC1 1,456,000 512,000 408,000 247,000 138,000 152,000
12 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,449,000 419,000 369,000 320,000 147,000 194,000
13 AIR WAYS Seven 1,412,000 415,000 371,000 270,000 164,000 192,000
14 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,410,000 461,000 404,000 283,000 129,000 132,000
15 MERLIN Ten 1,407,000 437,000 335,000 274,000 132,000 228,000
16 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,381,000 398,000 478,000 251,000 106,000 147,000
17 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,380,000 358,000 368,000 326,000 149,000 178,000
18 GETAWAY Nine 1,300,000 336,000 460,000 266,000 118,000 120,000
19 SEA PATROL -EP2 Nine 1,284,000 381,000 366,000 246,000 149,000 142,000
20 SEA PATROL -EP1 Nine 1,282,000 387,000 365,000 247,000 131,000 151,000
21 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,256,000 370,000 327,000 258,000 156,000 144,000
22 ALL SAINTS Seven 1,248,000 419,000 380,000 161,000 150,000 137,000
23 UNITED STATES OF TARA ABC1 1,235,000 413,000 371,000 189,000 123,000 139,000
24 AUSTRALIAN STORY ABC1 1,222,000 392,000 347,000 220,000 111,000 152,000
25 DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Seven 1,218,000 394,000 400,000 194,000 100,000 130,000
26 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,205,000 338,000 383,000 229,000 118,000 137,000
27 BONES Seven 1,176,000 336,000 311,000 250,000 146,000 131,000
28 NINE NEWS Nine 1,159,000 306,000 380,000 234,000 136,000 101,000
29 RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS Nine 1,151,000 312,000 371,000 248,000 104,000 116,000
30 RUSH Ten 1,147,000 325,000 439,000 159,000 106,000 117,000
31 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,125,000 310,000 350,000 245,000 118,000 101,000
32 20 TO 1 Nine 1,118,000 319,000 327,000 227,000 125,000 120,000
33 NCIS EP 2 RPT Ten 1,097,000 282,000 323,000 197,000 133,000 162,000
34 NCIS RPT Ten 1,079,000 272,000 319,000 202,000 129,000 157,000
35 M-FINDING NEMO Seven 1,073,000 338,000 267,000 220,000 114,000 134,000

• by David Dale at 07:49 AM
• Comments (72)

WHO WE ARE: Come join us, please

To learn the shocking truth about MasterChef, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 26/7/2009
There's an easy way to avoid the embarrassment that flowed from this column's revelation last week that Australia's favourite wine is made in New Zealand. All we need to do is amalgamate the two countries, and then Marlborough becomes a wine region of Australia and its Oyster Bay sauvignon blanc become an Aussie drop (for details on our drinking habits, go to last week's column).

The only foreseeable problem with this scheme is that absorbing the Kiwis might delay another vital nation-building project -- abolishing our State governments. To persuade them to join us, we'd have to offer them the chance to be not one but two States within a new enlarged federation, and thus be represented by 12 senators in Canberra (or Wellington, a nice new capital for Australasia). It would hardly be cricket to promise the Kiwis some semblance of individual identity and, having got their signatures on the treaty, immediately deprive them of local self-government.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Today's column is supposed to be about Grand Visions For The Future of Australia. Since it seems we're not going to suffer too badly from the global financial crisis, we can afford to lift our eyes from short term goals and reflect on how our country should advance over the next two decades. Here's a theory ...

The National To-Do List
1 Become a republic
2 Amalgamate with New Zealand
3 Fix the coat of arms
4 Abolish the States
6 Build a system of canals between Darwin and Adelaide.

Number 1 is the easiest, involving just a bit of paperwork. At the moment, the Governor General is nominated by the Government and, if there's no outcry from the Opposition, rubber-stamped by the monarch in London. Arguments have bogged down in whether an elected head of state would have powers likely to compete with the powers of the prime minister. So lets avoid the menacing term "President". Lets call the new figurehead The Administrator, nominated by the government and rubber-stamped by Parliament. There you have it -- Republic Lite, and straight on to task 2.

The hard part will be convincing them to get into bed with us. Viewers of the TV series Flight of the Conchords will know the paranoia of New Zealanders about their neighbour. The former NZ prime minister Robert Muldoon observed that every time a Kiwi is silly enough to move to Australia, that raises the average IQ of both countries.

Yes, they do feel superior to us, and not just in winemaking. So we must make this transformation worth their while. We can write into the new Constitution our belief that the smartest person in Australia is John Clarke.

And maybe NZ will need to be classified as three States - called North Island, South Island and The Wellington Coffee Enclave - plus having the right to impose their pronunciation on the teaching of English in schools (test phrase "Lits git some fush en chups for the cet un the het").

Of course we'll need to put a kiwi to the coat of arms. Easiest would be to replace that other flightless bird, the emu, even if that introduced problems of scale with the kangaroo on the other side. At the same time, we could replace the star that currently sits atop the shield with an octopus, to symbolize the ocean connecting the various States and the contribution of immigrants to changing our cooking preferences in the past 50 years. The Kiwis would probably prefer a whitebait up there, but we can hold that as a bargaining chip when we move on to No 4.

Out of space, so we'll save abolishing the States for the next column, which will include the contributions you make by going to Comments

• by David Dale at 10:08 AM
• Comments (33)

The Who We Are update: Week 29

This week's forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To learn the about Australia's favourite TV shows of all time (and MasterChef ain't one of them), go to The Tribal Mind.
To find out how to become a republic and absorb New Zealand, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
Thursdays and Fridays are always slow nights, so the sudden slump of The 7pm Project (down from 1.28 million on Monday to 656,000 on Friday) should induce only moderate panic at Channel Ten. It's still doing well with the 16-39s (who go out on Fridays). But if 7PP fails to recover this Monday and Tuesday, Ten will hear Yasmin calling, and the axeman will arrive with his friends The Simpsons. (Unless Ten puts Australian Idol on every weeknight at 7 -- could anybody stand that much Sandilands?)

Seven will be delighted with the 1.5 million result for Airways and World's Strictest Parents but nervous about its new Thursday comedies. Double Take and the marginally less embarrassing TV Burp got a million viewers each. That's nowhere near the Yasmintude of The Perfect Couple or True Beauty, but Seven will be sweating on its OzTAM data next Friday.

Nine started the week with an act of sheer stupidity - putting its $200,000 backpacker up against the final of MasterChef -- and continued at this level with a launch followed by an axing of Dance Your Ass Off. This was the final result of a ratings week that started stunningly for Ten: Seven 27.3 per cent of the prime time audience, Ten 25.0, Nine 23.4, ABC 16.5, and SBS 7.8.

And this was Pay TV's account of itself: "In week 30, Disney Channel's contemporary take on the Prince and the Pauper story, The Princess Protection Program, premiered with 157,000 viewers. On Arena, The Debbie Rowe Interview detailed life with the former King of Pop Michael Jackson to 87,000 people. America's Next Top Model on FOX8 was watched by 142,000 people, NCIS on TV1 was seen by 141,000 viewers and Project Runway Australia on Arena continued to grow with a season-to-date best audience of 106,000 viewers.

"Without a Trace on W had its best result of the year watched by 86,000, Dora's Fairytale Adventure on Nick Jr. was watched by a 2009 high of 85,000 people and the movie Get Smart premiered on Movie One with 83,00 people.

"On FOX Sports, Live: NRL Eels v Storm had 306,000 viewers, Live: AFL St Kilda v Adelaide was watched by 257,000 people and, as the second Ashes test drew to a close, 214,000 people watched Live: Cricket: Ashes: Day 5 Session 1. This week, Live: AFL Pre Game Show was seen by 116,000 subscribers, Live: Golf: British Open Final Round Part 1 was watched by 79,000 (both on FOX Sports) and Sky Raceday on Sky Racing was seen by 71,000 people.

"In week 30, STV channels represented 21.5% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 21.1% of all regional viewing and 57.0% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending July 25
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - WINNER ANNOUNCED Ten 3,726,000 999,000 1,278,000 615,000 383,000 452,000 (and to learn why this is NOT a record, go to The Tribal Mind)
2 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - FINALE NIGHT Ten 3,293,000 863,000 1,172,000 556,000 323,000 378,000
3 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,857,000 519,000 586,000 344,000 197,000 211,000
4 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,713,000 410,000 465,000 408,000 200,000 230,000
5 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,585,000 472,000 472,000 284,000 148,000 210,000
6 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,562,000 452,000 391,000 330,000 173,000 216,000
7 AIR WAYS Seven 1,549,000 395,000 467,000 312,000 176,000 198,000
8 WORLD'S STRICTEST PARENTS Seven 1,540,000 432,000 439,000 297,000 175,000 197,000

• by David Dale at 01:41 PM
• Comments (118)

WHO WE ARE: Savvy nong plonk

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 19/7/2009
Try saying the phrase "shiraz socialist" five times fast after a couple of glasses of pinot noir. The inherent pronunciation difficulties may explain why certain politicians persist with the phrase "chardonnay socialist" as their preferred term of abuse, even though it reveals their utter ignorance of what most Australians actually drink.

The implication within "chardonnay socialist" is that the accused pretends to have working class sympathies but actually has elitist tastes. It was coined in the 1980s, when chardonnay was an expensive novelty favoured by businessmen desperate to display their wealth. The theory was that true Aussies drink beer or, at worst, cask plonk containing no identifiable grape. Anyone who drinks differently must be unAustralian.

Unbeknownst to conservative politicians, the insult had lost its sting by the early noughties, when Queen Adelaide chardonnay was revealed as the beverage of choice for millions of people who met all other definitions of real, normal, average, decent, patriotic Aussies.

Is chardonnay still part of our national identity? Disturbing rumours about changes in our drinking habits provoked this column to check the latest data from the Bureau of Statistics and the research organisation AC Nielsen. Here's what emerged ...

Wine consumption: The average Australian over the age of 15 drinks 28.3 litres of wine a year (up from 28.1 in 2006). That's the equivalent of five glasses a week, of which three would be white and two would be red.

Favourite styles: The most-planted white grape in this country is still chardonnay, while the most planted red grape is shiraz. But most-planted is not the same as most-purchased, which turns out like this ...

The national reds: Wyndham Estate Bin 555 Shiraz, Pepperjack Shiraz.

The national bubblies: Yellowglen Yellow Sparkling, Jacob's Creek Chardonnay Pinot.

The national whites: Oyster Bay Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc, Giesen Sauvignon Blanc.

Hang on a minute. Oyster Bay and Giesen are both from New Zealand. So in this year's wine purchases, Australians are propping up an enemy economy by replacing elitist chardys with foreign savvys (as the New Zealanders insist on calling them).

It's a national disaster. Apparently we're so jaded by the Barossa, the Hunter and the Margaret River that we seek novelties an ocean away. Don't panic. Help is on its way. Oddly enough, the good news, like the bad news, comes from across the Tasman - but not over that way, down that way.

Tasmania is about to launch an attack on the mainland with a view to reclaiming control of our wine tastes. Next month a travelling roadshow called Tasmania Unbottled 2009, representing 30 of our south island's bravest winemakers, will invade Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane. The Tasmanians know it will take a while to wean us off weedy kiwi sauvignon blancs, so their first weapon of choice will be bubbles, followed by a blitzkrieg of pinot noirs (for more information, go here) .

To support them (and the economy), our politicians will need to create a new term of abuse for those who are drinking against the national interest. How about "savvy-wankers"?

Go to Comments to discuss how we can fight back against kiwi plonk. And to discuss whether most Australians are too stupid to function in the 21st century, go to last week's column.

• by David Dale at 12:02 PM
• Comments (33)

WHO WE ARE: Just smart enough?

To discuss if Transformers 2 sucks more than any blockbuster in history, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 12/7/2009
By now Australia was supposed to have changed from the lucky country to the clever country. But the Bureau of Statistics keeps releasing data which suggests most of us are too dumb to function in the 21st century.

The bureau's latest discovery is that we don't even know how to look after our own bodies - 59 per cent of Australians "have difficulty with tasks such as locating information on a bottle of medicine about the maximum number of days the medicine could be taken, or drawing a line on a container indicating where one third would be". This follows the revelation last year that 69 per cent of adults lack problem-solving skills that are "the minimum required for individuals to meet the complex demands of everyday life and work in the emerging knowledge-based economy" (go here for that column).

Clearly we should not be too hard on the Shadow Treasurer, Joe Hockey, whose office had to apologise earlier this month for putting out a nonsensical press release based on his wrong reading of an economics graph.

The term "the lucky country" was coined in the 1960s by the writer Donald Horne, and it wasn't a compliment. He meant that through sheer dumb luck, Australians had stumbled onto resources that allowed us to prosper among world economies, and we'd been coasting ever since. Here's his entire quote: "Australia is a lucky country, run by second-rate people who share its luck."

Horne said later: "I had in mind in particular the lack of innovation in Australian manufacturing and some other forms of Australian business, banking for example. In these, as a colonial carry over, Australia showed less enterprise than almost any other prosperous industrial society."

In the 1990s, Horne joined a campaign to raise education standards, aiming to make us a "clever country" with the skills to thrive without such props as iron ore and coal. He said: "I think we should realise that the lucky country provides a descriptive phrase, condemning Australia for what it was, whereas the clever country is a pre-scriptive phrase, suggesting to Australia what it might become."

Are we there yet? The latest Social Trends report from the Bureau of Stats has good news about young Australians. Here are the results of the latest testing on 8,000 students in what is called TIMSS (Trends in International Mathematics and Science Study):

"Australian students performed well in 2007 when compared with other participating countries, but were outperformed by England, the United States and most of the Asian countries, especially Singapore and Chinese Taipei. Australian students achieved an international ranking of 14th (out of 49) for Years 4 and 8 maths and 13th for Years 4 and 8 science." In science, our kids were equal to students in Germany, Italy, Lithuania and Sweden, which doesn't sound too bad at all (go here for the details).

But in the same Social Trends report, the bureau reveals the results of another test called ALLS (Adult Literacy and Life Skills), conducted on 9,000 people aged 15-74: "The ability to access and use health information is a fundamental skill which allows people to make informed decisions and helps them to maintain basic health ... Skill level 3 is regarded as the minimum required to allow individuals to meet the complex demands of everyday life. In 2006, 41 per cent of adults were assessed as having adequate or better health literacy skills, scoring at level 3 or above. At this level, people could generally perform tasks such as combining information in text and a graph to correctly assess the safety of a product." (Go here for the details.)

Only 41 per cent have "adequate" literacy? So if Joe Hockey had been able to understand that graph, he'd have been unAustralian.

Go to Comments to discuss whether Australians are as dumb as the data suggests.

• by David Dale at 04:37 PM
• Comments (2)

The Who We Are Update: Week 28

This forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To nominate the most bingeworthy TV series on DVD, go toThe Tribal Mind.
To discuss whether Australians are too dumb to function in the 21st century, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
Julie won MasterChef. Go to The TV shows Australia loved to see if the finale created a ratings record. Then go to The new week's blog to tell us what you make of the result.

Readers who were shocked by the ending of Grey's Anatomy on Thursday night should go here and after that also here for a modicum of solace. You will find interviews by Entertainment Weekly with the show's creator, Shonda Rimes, and answers to who will survive to next season. The finale pulled an extra 200,000 viewers to GA, and helped Channel Seven push Channel Nine to third place in audience share.

Then on Friday, a non-competitive episode of MasterChef helped Ten to counteract any footy advantage enjoyed by Seven and Nine (and if you're someone who prefers kicking to cooking, every bit of biffo for Friday and Saturday, no matter how esoteric, is presented in the charts below).

On Saturday, Harry Potter conjured a nightly win for Nine, but that wasn't enough to save it from humiliation for the week, which ended with these prime time audience shares: Ten 26.4 per cent, Seven 24.8, Nine 24.5, ABC 15.6, SBS 8.7. That's not supposed to happen in a State of Origin week.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "In the month of July, subscription TV has an abundance of high quality sport bringing viewers to the platform. Live: NRL Titans v Eels on FOX Sports had 259,000 viewers, while Saturday's night's first Tri-Nations match between Australia and New Zealand, Live: Rugby Union: Bledisloe Cup, was watched by 230,000 people and Live: AFL West Coast v St Kilda by 224,000 people. Live: Cricket: Ashes: Day 5 Session 1 had 216,000 viewers, Live: AFL: On the Couch had its biggest audience of the year so far with 143,000 viewers and Live: Golf: British Open Round 1 Part 1 was seen by 93,000 viewers (all on FOX Sports).

"In entertainment programming, FOX8's America's Next Top Model was seen by 115,000 people, Hannah Montana on Disney Channel had its best audience of the year so far with 107,000 viewers, NCIS on TV1 was watched by 103,000 people and the new season of Project Runway Australia on Arena was watched by 97,000 people.

"In week 29, STV channels were the number one source of TV around Australia, accounting for 20.9% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, 20.8% of all regional viewing and 55.5% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending July 18
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Ten 2,193,000 592,000 764,000 352,000 221,000 264,000
2 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Ten 1,981,000 568,000 638,000 335,000 204,000 236,000
3 STATE OF ORIGIN RUGBY LEAGUE 3RD - MATCH Nine 1,907,000 837,000 279,000 659,000 66,000 66,000
4 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,794,000 473,000 582,000 351,000 186,000 202,000
5 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,668,000 349,000 522,000 407,000 142,000 248,000
6 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,639,000 453,000 549,000 361,000 169,000 107,000
7 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,601,000 449,000 434,000 321,000 170,000 227,000
8 SURF PATROL Seven 1,532,000 375,000 475,000 316,000 172,000 193,000
9 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,492,000 416,000 469,000 244,000 162,000 201,000
10 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,488,000 430,000 388,000 307,000 159,000 203,000
11 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,406,000 444,000 342,000 409,000 120,000 91,000
12 RECRUITS Ten 1,383,000 392,000 437,000 212,000 135,000 206,000
13 DANCING WITH THE STARS 9 Seven 1,357,000 372,000 395,000 306,000 134,000 150,000
14 GREY'S ANATOMY Seven 1,356,000 395,000 365,000 302,000 147,000 147,000
15 SEA PATROL Nine 1,346,000 362,000 399,000 232,000 157,000 196,000
16 MERLIN Ten 1,299,000 388,000 349,000 229,000 145,000 188,000
17 NEW TRICKS ABC1 1,239,000 390,000 354,000 197,000 150,000 149,000

• by David Dale at 08:24 AM
• Comments (71)

The Who We Are update: Week 27

This forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss if Transformers 2 sucks more than any blockbuster in history, go to The Tribal Mind.
To discuss whether Australians are too dumb to function in the 21st century, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 11 am Monday
It was another shocking week for Nine, with bits of its audience stolen not just by Ten but by SBS, which snapped up the cricket and sent Kerry Packer spinning in his grave. Nine was almost saved on Saturday when Ten failed to attract many to its footy, but the prime time audience shares ended up this way: Seven 27.5 per cent, Ten 23.1, Nine 23.0, ABC 16.1, SBS 10.4.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "An all time series record 285,000 viewers [or 342,000 if you add the audience for the replay 2 hours later] watched Tahnee Atkinson beat Cassi Van Den Dungen in Australia's Next Top Model Live Finale on FOX8. Torchwood: Children of Earth premiered on UKTV with 141,000 viewers, NCIS on TV1 was watched by 118,000 people and Dollhouse on FOX8 was seen by 114,000 people. Sonny with a Chance had its biggest audience of the year so far on the Disney Channel with 111,000 people, The Searchers premiered on FOX Classics with 101,000 people and iCarly on Nickelodeon had its best result of the year with 91,000 people.

"In sport programs, Live: NRL Sea Eagles v Bulldogs on FOX Sports had 339,000 viewers while 244,000 people watched Live: Cricket: Ashes: Day 1 Session 1. Live: AFL Sydney v Essendon was seen by 175,000 people, Live: AFL: On the Couch was watched by 125,000 and the replay of the record making match between Roger Federer and Andy Roddick, Tennis: Wimbledon: Men's Final, was seen by 75,000 people (all on FOX Sports)."

In the chart below, we track the fate of every bit of Jacksploitation on the box last week:
What Australia watched, week ending July 11
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Ten 1,980,000 619,000 584,000 329,000 188,000 260,000
2 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,851,000 503,000 665,000 279,000 192,000 213,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,772,000 391,000 574,000 387,000 172,000 248,000
4 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Ten 1,686,000 466,000 557,000 291,000 171,000 200,000
5 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,658,000 492,000 540,000 277,000 141,000 208,000
6 THE ZOO Seven 1,618,000 440,000 480,000 339,000 156,000 203,000
7 DANCING WITH THE STARS 9 Seven 1,579,000 459,000 447,000 323,000 173,000 178,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 05:29 AM
• Comments (65)

The Who We Are update: Week 27

This forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To learn whether Australians are losing interest in television, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
You would be entitled to imagine that every Australian who might want to see Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone would already have seen it. HPPS is, after all, the eighth highest grossing movie in this nation's box office history (to learn about all the others, go to The films Australia loved). It is also the number 21 most purchased DVD in our history (to learn about the others, go to The DVDs Australia loved.)

In spite of all this, Channel Nine chose to program HPPS last Saturday night as a last ditch fightback against Ten's inexorable progress towards becoming Australia's number two most watched network. And it's been shown on TV several times before.

Clearly Nine has not entirely lost its sense of what Australians can be persuaded to watch. In the mainland capitals, it found 883,000 people who don't like AFL, who have been stirred by recent publicity about Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince coming to cinemas on July 15, and who couldn't be bothered getting their old battered disc of HPPS out of the cupboard.

That clinched the week for Nine. Prime time audience shares: Seven 27.6 per cent, Nine 25.4, Ten 24.8, ABC 16.8, SBS 5.4. For next Saturday, Nine has programmed Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets -- Australia's No 3 best selling DVD of all time and No 12 highest grossing movie.

This was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "An all-time record 257,000 viewers watched the penultimate episode of Australia's Next Top Model, in which Clare was eliminated, leaving Cassi and Tahnee as the final two contestants. The winner will be determined in the live finale on FOX8 on Tuesday night. In other entertainment programming, NCIS on TV1 was seen by 109,000 viewers while SpongeBob SquarePants on Nickelodeon had a year-to-date high of 95,000 viewers. Law & Order on W was watched by 92,000 people this week, Coronation Street on UKTV was seen by 82,000 viewers and Hannah Montana on Disney Channel was seen by 78,000 people.

In sport programs, Live: NRL Rabbitohs v Wests Tigers on FOX Sports had 292,000 viewers and 195,000 people watched Live: AFL St Kilda v Richmond. Live: AFL: On the Couch was seen by 111,000 people, AFL Open Mike had its best result of the year to date with 90,000 viewers and the Australian cricket team's tour of England saw 84,000 people tune in to Live: Cricket: Tour Match on Thursday night (all on FOX Sports).

"Subscription TV was the number one source of television across all Australian homes in week 27. STV channels accounted for 22.2% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, was 21.4% of all regional viewing and 56.9% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,561,000 415,000 433,000 366,000 136,000 211,000
2 NEW TRICKS ABC1 1,245,000 383,000 339,000 235,000 116,000 172,000
3 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,151,000 346,000 361,000 220,000 139,000 84,000
4 M-ICE AGE Seven 1,026,000 322,000 265,000 217,000 94,000 128,000
5 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS Nine 966,000 288,000 245,000 212,000 94,000 127,000
6 ABC NEWS UP-DATE ABC1 950,000 345,000 215,000 172,000 93,000 126,000
7 ABC NEWS-SAT ABC1 943,000 315,000 280,000 181,000 72,000 95,000
8 THE BILL ABC1 933,000 290,000 252,000 160,000 100,000 131,000
9 HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE -RPT Nine 883,000 261,000 240,000 194,000 77,000 112,000
11 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Ten 683,000 22,000 361,000 42,000 173,000 85,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 09:56 AM
• Comments (44)

WHO WE ARE: From impulse to mouth

To learn why MasterChef is bad news for Malcolm Turnbull, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun Herald, 29/6/2009
Recent pronouncements by the prime minister about the shaking of sauce bottles, and the decision by the Kraft company to market a new version of Vegemite with cream cheese stirred through, compelled this column to re-examine a key question of identity: what are Australia's national foodstuffs?

We established years ago that the national dish is spaghetti bolognese, in the sense of the meal cooked most often for family dinner. That's barely the beginning. The research company ACNielsen has just published The 2009 Nielsen Convenience and Impulse Report, which, combined with earlier data on supermarket habits, lets us look deeply into the mouths of Australians.

The national breakfast. We start the day with Weet Bix or Kellogg's Nutri-Grain, onto which we pour Paul's milk or Pura milk. Then we smear Vegemite on Tip Top and wash it down with Nescafe Blend 43.

The national snack. Nielsen reports that in 2008 Australians spent $2.7 billion in "the convenience channel" - mainly shops attached to petrol stations. "Over two thirds (66 per cent) of Aussie consumers claim to buy lollies in convenience stores, while 59 per cent buy chocolate," says the report. "Almost one in three Aussies claim to have purchased an item from a convenience store on their last visit to a petrol station."

Here's what Nielsen says we mostly grab on the way back to the car: Mars bars; Extra spearmint gum; Snickers; Coca Cola; V Guarana; Red Bull Energy Drink; Streets Golden Gaytime, Streets Magnum; Peters Maxibon; R/Rock Potato chips; Cheese Twisties; Smith's Crinkles; Icebreak Iced Coffee; Arnott's Tim Tams; Arnott's Shapes.

You get an inkling of who does most of this impulse buying from the fact that the top two publications bought at convenience stores are Zoo Weekly and Picture, which specialise in photos of buxom women.

The national lunch. Boringly, this is likely to be a sandwich, stuffed with Primo ham or devon and a slice of Bega cheese. A bold minority buy hot chips. Every Australian eats 63 kilograms of potatoes a year.

The national smoke. Only 20 per cent of Australians are regular smokers (but the figure is 33 per cent if you're talking about males aged between 25 and 34). Nielsen reports that Australians spend $750 million a year at the supermarket on Winfield cigarettes and also on Longbeach, and more than $500 million on Peter Jackson and on Horizon. In convenience stores, the top sellers are Winfield Blue and Peter Jackson Rich.

The national sauce. I could find no reference to tomato sauce among Nielsen's top 100 selling brands, which might support the complaint that Kevin Rudd's "Fair shake of the sauce bottle" was an outdated image. But on the website of the Japanese-owned food company Cerebos, we learn: "Fountain Tomato sauce is found in more kitchens, cupboards and fridges than any other sauce brand -- and Aussie households consume an impressive 6.8 million litres of Fountain Tomato sauce each year." Since Fountain claims to have 22.7 per cent of the market, we may conclude that Australians consume 30 million litres of the red stuff a year, or 1.4 litres per person.

The national dinner. As we noted, it's spag bol, usually made with San Remo pasta and Leggo tomato paste. Slightly less often it's Old El Paso Mexican. If we have a steak, it's served with McCain frozen peas.

And once a week the average household orders out. For the title of Australia's favourite takeaway, it's a battle between pizza, fried rice, Pad Thai noodles, and butter chicken. Further research is clearly required. It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.

Go to Comments to discuss what you think are the national dishes of Australia.

• by David Dale at 06:02 AM
• Comments (16)

The Who We Are update: Week 26

This forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

To learn why MasterChef is bad news for Malcolm Turnbull, go to The Tribal Mind.
To determine what is Australia's National Snack, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 11 am Monday
Seven will think twice before devoting a night to rugby union again. As of Saturday morning, the three networks were neck and neck in audience share for the week. As of Sunday morning, Seven found itself in the rare position of coming third. Here's how the week worked out: Nine 26.3 per cent of the prime time audience, Ten 25.8 per cent, Seven 25.5, ABC 17.6, SBS 4.8. If NIne had not had the State of Origin on Wednesday, it would have come third -- a bad omen for this week.

Here's Pay TV's account of itself: "Subscription TV won its 21st week of 2009 and in doing so ensured it has had more viewers than any other network across the first half of 2009. Between 6am and midnight in week 26, STV channels accounted for 21.8% of all metropolitan viewing; 21.4% of all regional viewing and 56.9% of all viewing in subscription TV homes. In the year-to-date, this gave STV channels 59.4% of viewing in STV homes, 21.8% of all regional viewing and 23.2% of all metropolitan viewing (well ahead of the closest broadcast network with 21.7% of all viewing).

"Live: NRL Sharks v Broncos on FOX Sports topped the week for subscription TV with 293,000 viewers and 270,000 people watched Live: AFL Fremantle v Geelong, giving the network its second biggest audience for AFL this year. In other sport programs, the Wallabies/France test, Live: Rugby Union: Test Match had 177,000 viewers, Live: AFL: On the Couch had 105,000 viewers and 83,000 people watched Live: Tennis: Wimbledon: Day 4 on Thursday night (all on FOX Sports).

"Australia's Next Top Model on FOX8 was watched by 219,000 people; TV1'S Cash Trivia Challenge had a year-to-date best viewership of 104,000 people and Law & Order on W was watched by 90,000 viewers. The Crime & Investigation premiere of CIA: Murder of Innocence: Sian Kingi was watched by 88,000 people, Drake & Josh on Nickelodeon had a year-to-date biggest audience with 85,000 people, Nostradamus: 2012 premiered on History Channel with 83,000 viewers and Showbiz on Sky News had its best result of the year with 81,000 people."

What Australia watched, week ending 28/6/2009
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 STATE OF ORIGIN RUGBY LEAGUE NSW V QLD 2ND - MATCH Nine 2,134,000 825,000 332,000 815,000 69,000 94,000
2 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Ten 1,934,000 556,000 615,000 317,000 202,000 245,000
3 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,757,000 510,000 579,000 273,000 175,000 220,000
4 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Ten 1,666,000 461,000 576,000 261,000 168,000 201,000
5 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,664,000 430,000 376,000 410,000 156,000 292,000
6 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,618,000 438,000 445,000 324,000 181,000 230,000
7 NCIS Ten 1,586,000 434,000 451,000 290,000 196,000 214,000
8 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,575,000 485,000 524,000 298,000 184,000 84,000
9 THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE Seven 1,483,000 405,000 424,000 287,000 168,000 199,000
10 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,471,000 416,000 429,000 343,000 112,000 171,000
11 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,428,000 393,000 389,000 293,000 151,000 203,000
12 RECRUITS Ten 1,364,000 403,000 415,000 231,000 132,000 184,000
13 SUNDAY NIGHT Seven 1,351,000 402,000 341,000 306,000 120,000 181,000
14 THE ZOO Seven 1,341,000 431,000 352,000 264,000 121,000 172,000
15 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,322,000 369,000 404,000 209,000 156,000 183,000
16 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,322,000 359,000 402,000 256,000 130,000 174,000
17 SEA PATROL Nine 1,314,000 388,000 367,000 251,000 141,000 167,000

• by David Dale at 04:55 PM
• Comments (78)

WHO WE ARE: Holly, holly, holly, oi, oi, oi

To discuss the Most Memorable Moments in Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind.
To learn what makes Australians sick, go to Wealthy and wise.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 14/6/2009
Americans are notorious for their ignorance of world geography. But it would seem that the screenwriters of Hollywood, whose careers depend on knowing what their audience can and cannot understand, have decided that Australia is now part of the cultural literacy of America. Consider this evidence:

1. In the season final of House last month, Jesse Spencer, the Melbourne-born actor who plays the surgeon Robert Chase, offered this vision of a tenth wedding anniversary to the girl he's going to marry: "Three kids -- they spend their summers in Melbourne and have annoying accents. It's disgusting how happy we are." Nobody felt any need to explain what or where Melbourne was.

2. In the trailer for a new drama series called The Deep End, Ben Lawson, the Brisbane-born actor who plays lawyer Liam Priory, says this when his colleagues enter his office and discover him in his underpants: "Don't you bloody knock? My office, mate. Sorry about the wedding tackle. I was just getting changed for court." Lawson's character was British in the pilot episode, but has been rewritten as an Australian-born Cambridge graduate.

3. In an episode of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles shown on Fox8 two weeks ago, Stephanie Jacobsen, the Hong Kong born and Sydney educated actress who plays future warrior Jesse Flores, told an American comrade that in Perth she had been eating rabbits. When he asks "Rabbits? I thought Australia was all wombats and wallabies and stuff", Jesse replies: "No. Some wacker brought them over in the 1800s and we've been overrun with them ever since. We tried everything to kill the things. In the 1950s we even introduced a virus to wipe them out. Ten years later Australia was up to its eyeballs in rabbits again."

Her short history of the rabbit plague served as a useful metaphor for the way human beings introduced robots to the earth and then lost control of them - which is the central theme of the Terminator series.

These three occurrences are not coincidence. They suggest that finally Hollywood has decided to let Australians be Australian.

Gone are the days when Perth-born Melissa George needed to sound American to be a spy in Alias, a patient in In Treatment and a bisexual intern in Grey's Anatomy; when Launceston-born Simon Baker had to adopt an American accent to become The Mentalist; when Brisbane-born Miranda Otto and Perth-born Frances O'Connor needed American accents to play lustful businesswomen in Cashmere Mafia; when Adelaide-born Anthony LaPaglia and Sydney-born Poppy Montgomery had to speak American to be cops in Without A Trace and when Rupert Murdoch's Melbourne-born niece Anna Torv had to speak American to be a cop in Fringe; and, going back much further, when the voices of American actors had to be dubbed over the Australian accents in the original Mad Max movie.

We must pay tribute to three pioneers who helped transform the prevailing attitude: Olivia Newton-John, whose Sandy in Grease (1978) was a highschooler who happened to be Australian; Heath Ledger, whose Patrick in Ten Things I Hate About You (1999) was a highschooler who happened to be Australian; and Geoffrey Rush, whose Donovan in Intolerable Cruelty (2003) was a soap opera producer who happened to be Australian.

There's a way to go yet. Can you think of any international movie in which Cate Blanchett, Hugo Weaving, Nicole Kidman, Eric Bana, Toni Colette, Russell Crowe, Abbie Cornish or Hugh Jackman were able to speak with their normal accents? From now on, they might.

Go to Comments to discuss other Australian pioneers.

• by David Dale at 03:28 AM
• Comments (55)

The Who We Are update: Week 25

To discuss URST (UnResolved Sexual Tension) in television, and how it gets burst, go to The Tribal Mind.
To learn how Hollywood finally discovered Australia, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 11am Monday
It couldn't last, of course. After Seven showed a pile of football on Friday night, Channel Ten had to relinquish its leadership in audience share. But its strong showing in the first three days of the week, mainly due to Masterchef, meant that the final prime time averages were: Seven 27.0 per cent of the audience, Ten 25.8 per cent, Nine 25.2, ABC 17.1, SBS 5.0.

Nine's only good news was a modest success for its new show Random Acts of Kindness. This week Nine will do better because of Wednesday's biffo, but for the whole ratings year, it's now a real race between Nine and Ten for second spot.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "378,000 fans saw the Socceroos defeat Japan 2-1 in FOX Sports' coverage of Live: Football: World Cup Qualifier Aust v Japan, the final game of the football World Cup qualifying series for the Australian team. On the previous night, Australia's Next Top Model on FOX8 drew a season record 235,000 people (327,000 people including the Plus2 audience).

"In other programming this week, 292,000 viewers watched Live: NRL Eels v Wests Tigers; 247,000 people saw Live: AFL Adelaide v North Melbourne and the Live: AFL Pre Game Show on Sunday afternoon had its best result for 2009 with 209,000 people (all on FOX Sports). Sky Race Day on Sky Racing on Saturday also had a year-to-date biggest audience with 84,000 viewers. NCIS on TV1 was watched by 121,000 people; Eastenders on UKTV had a year-to-date high of 98,000 viewers and 10,000 BC premiered on Movie One with 96,000 viewers. Hannah Montana on Disney Channel was watched by 85,000 people; Selling Houses Australia on Lifestyle was seen by 80,000 viewers and Man vs. Wild: Will Ferrell Special premiered on Discovery Channel with 77,000 viewers.

"In week 25, subscription TV was the number one source of television across Australia for the twentieth week of the year. Between 6am and midnight, STV channels accounted for 21.7% of all metropolitan viewing; 21.7% of all regional viewing and 57.6% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending June 20
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Ten 1,962,000 535,000 679,000 292,000 227,000 230,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,791,000 434,000 445,000 446,000 210,000 256,000
3 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,702,000 513,000 576,000 228,000 156,000 229,000
4 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,625,000 520,000 533,000 301,000 161,000 110,000
5 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Ten 1,619,000 480,000 524,000 258,000 164,000 193,000
6 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,618,000 450,000 444,000 312,000 185,000 228,000
7 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,590,000 420,000 498,000 290,000 162,000 221,000
8 NCIS Ten 1,559,000 408,000 451,000 295,000 196,000 208,000
9 THE ZOO Seven 1,487,000 445,000 430,000 266,000 154,000 193,000
10 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,461,000 404,000 407,000 295,000 149,000 205,000
11 60 MINUTES Nine 1,436,000 426,000 442,000 313,000 115,000 141,000
12 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,410,000 419,000 404,000 251,000 153,000 183,000
13 MERLIN Ten 1,395,000 416,000 367,000 287,000 129,000 196,000
14 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,377,000 426,000 387,000 216,000 175,000 174,000
15 RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS Nine 1,359,000 424,000 463,000 264,000 124,000 84,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 09:36 AM
• Comments (58)

The Who We Are update: Week 24

This forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss the Most Memorable Moments in Australian television, and whether The Chaser is one of them, go to The Tribal Mind.
To learn how Hollywood finally discovered Australia, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
At the moment, the commercial stations are closer in audience share than they have been in years. Thanks mainly to Masterchef, Channel Ten averaged 24.5 per cent of the prime time audience last week, while Nine got 25.5 and Seven got 27.6 (ABC 17.4, SBS 5.0). That's a portrait of how the year will proceed: Seven static, Nine continuing its slow decline, and Ten booming (but not quite enough to knock Nine off No. 2 spot).

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "In week 24, FOX Sports' coverage of Live: Football: World Cup Qualifier Aust v Bahrain helped STV become the number one source of television across Australia for the eleventh week in a row. STV channels accounted for 22.9% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, were 22.4% of all regional viewing and 59.3% of all viewing in subscription TV homes.

"The Socceroos match, which the Australian team won 2-0, was watched by 326,000 people on Wednesday night. In other sport, Live: NRL Titans v Dragons was seen by 315,000 people and Live: AFL West Coast v Geelong had 198,000 viewers. Live: Tennis: French Open Men's Final, in which Roger Federer finally achieved his goal of winning the clay court competition and matching Pete Sampras' open record, was watched by 132,000 people (all on FOX Sports).

"On Tuesday night on FOX8, Australia's Next Top Model had its best result of the current season with 234,000 viewers at 7.30pm while the new Joss Whedon show Dollhouse premiered at 8.30pm with 120,000 viewers. TV1's Cash Trivia Challenge achieved a year-to-date biggest audience with 96,000 people as did Eastenders on UKTV with 93,000 viewers and Cold Case on W with 89,000 viewers. Destroyed in Seconds on Discovery channel was watched by 74,000 people, Secret Millionaire on Lifestyle had an audience of 70,000 people and 67,000 subscribers saw Blue's Clues on Nick Jr."

What Australia watched, week ending June 14
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,767,000 482,000 467,000 376,000 177,000 265,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,690,000 488,000 446,000 332,000 184,000 241,000
3 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,647,000 465,000 552,000 254,000 165,000 210,000
4 NCIS RPT Ten 1,564,000 398,000 460,000 299,000 170,000 236,000
5 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,558,000 422,000 478,000 333,000 174,000 151,000
6 THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE Seven 1,531,000 430,000 500,000 295,000 137,000 170,000
7 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,482,000 406,000 404,000 306,000 164,000 201,000
8 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Ten 1,474,000 427,000 485,000 223,000 168,000 171,000
9 THE ZOO Seven 1,470,000 445,000 440,000 265,000 153,000 168,000
10 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,447,000 461,000 435,000 244,000 142,000 164,000
11 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Ten 1,427,000 381,000 470,000 205,000 165,000 206,000
12 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,407,000 392,000 492,000 229,000 165,000 129,000
13 RPA Nine 1,375,000 415,000 404,000 276,000 143,000 137,000
14 GETAWAY Nine 1,374,000 348,000 446,000 292,000 136,000 152,000
15 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,370,000 414,000 416,000 225,000 141,000 175,000
16 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,362,000 421,000 370,000 209,000 181,000 181,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 07:53 PM
• Comments (48)

The Who We Are update: Week 24

This forum is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian attitudes and media trends, go to blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To learn how Australians are stimulating themselves this month, go to The Tribal Mind.
To learn what makes Australians sick, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
It's just as well The Chaser team decided to do their satire on sentimental fundraising on a night when their show was up against one of the biggest biffo events of the year. The State of Origin distracted 400,000 of the Chaser's most conservative fans and therefore saved them from being shocked and offended. When some of them tuned in to ABC2 for the repeat later in the week, to see what the fuss was about, they found the controversial item had been deleted.

The biffo gave Nine a narrow victory for the week, with 27.1 per cent of the prime time audience (Seven on 26.4, Ten on 24.5, ABC on 17.1, SBS on 4.8).

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "FOX Sports' coverage of Live: AFL Collingwood v Port Adelaide topped the week on subscription TV with 252,000 people watching last Sunday afternoon's Australian Rules match. In other sport, 237,000 viewers watched Live: NRL Rabbitohs v Raiders; 130,000 people watched the Rugby Union match between the Wallabies and the Barbarians in Live: Rugby Union: Test Match; 110,000 subscribers saw Live: Cricket: ICC World Twenty20 on Saturday night and Live: Tennis: French Open Day 11 drew 100,000 viewers (all on FOX Sports).

"This week, 211,000 people saw Laura Mitchell eliminated from Australia's Next Top Model on FOX8, leaving just six contestants in the current series of the show. 113,000 people watched Sunday night's episode of NCIS on TV1; 88,000 saw Law & Order on W; 88,000 also watched Eastenders on UKTV and 80,000 viewed Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney Channel. That '70s Show on 111HITS had a year-to-date best audience with 76,000 viewers; Grand Designs on Lifestyle drew 74,000 people and Stargate SG-1 on Sci Fi had its biggest audience of 2009 so far with 72,000 subscribers.

"Subscription TV was the number one source of television across all Australian homes in week 23. STV channels accounted for 22.6% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, was 21.6% of all regional viewing and 57.4% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending June 8
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 STATE OF ORIGIN RUGBY LEAGUE NSW V QLD 1ST - MATCH Nine 2,322,000 991,000 330,000 845,000 73,000 83,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,831,000 415,000 541,000 495,000 172,000 208,000
3 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,643,000 453,000 463,000 315,000 178,000 234,000
4 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,625,000 475,000 522,000 262,000 167,000 199,000
5 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,620,000 535,000 506,000 269,000 190,000 121,000
6 NCIS Ten 1,590,000 388,000 497,000 301,000 203,000 202,000
7 STATE OF ORIGIN RUGBY LEAGUE NSW V QLD 1ST - PRE MATCH Nine 1,590,000 627,000 302,000 596,000 65,000
8 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Ten 1,568,000 493,000 511,000 226,000 180,000 159,000
9 THE ZOO Seven 1,472,000 397,000 438,000 295,000 176,000 166,000
10 SUNDAY NIGHT Seven 1,469,000 412,000 419,000 373,000 90,000 176,000
11 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,417,000 381,000 392,000 293,000 147,000 204,000
12 60 MINUTES Nine 1,417,000 393,000 434,000 337,000 140,000 113,000
13 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,391,000 398,000 446,000 254,000 146,000 148,000
14 BONES Seven 1,372,000 404,000 396,000 272,000 147,000 153,000
15 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,371,000 331,000 417,000 324,000 146,000 153,000
16 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA Ten 1,359,000 411,000 406,000 216,000 152,000 174,000
17 MERLIN Ten 1,338,000 437,000 359,000 212,000 161,000 169,000
18 NCIS RPT Ten 1,321,000 314,000 442,000 226,000 172,000 167,000
19 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,315,000 374,000 384,000 235,000 143,000 179,000
20 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,286,000 333,000 418,000 276,000 109,000 151,000
21 SEA PATROL Nine 1,279,000 393,000 334,000 235,000 138,000 179,000
22 GETAWAY Nine 1,261,000 368,000 380,000 248,000 123,000 141,000
23 NINE NEWS Nine 1,252,000 342,000 406,000 273,000 117,000 113,000
24 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,223,000 343,000 390,000 266,000 115,000 109,000
25 20 TO 1 Nine 1,223,000 343,000 359,000 210,000 144,000 168,000
26 STATE OF ORIGIN 1ST - POST MATCH Nine 1,205,000 582,000 624,000
27 ALL SAINTS Seven 1,199,000 363,000 389,000 184,000 135,000 127,000
28 GREY'S ANATOMY Seven 1,172,000 338,000 352,000 226,000 134,000 123,000
29 GHOST WHISPERER Seven 1,158,000 343,000 326,000 203,000 145,000 142,000
30 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS Nine 1,152,000 323,000 319,000 215,000 126,000 169,000
31 DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Seven 1,143,000 333,000 352,000 239,000 84,000 135,000
32 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,137,000 323,000 308,000 227,000 135,000 144,000
33 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,136,000 357,000 340,000 143,000 134,000 162,000
34 RECRUITS Ten 1,132,000 325,000 359,000 170,000 104,000 174,000
35 NEW TRICKS ABC1 1,130,000 297,000 332,000 213,000 132,000 156,000
36 THE CHASER'S WAR ON EVERYTHING ABC1 1,125,000 372,000 380,000 123,000 110,000 141,000
316 THE CHASER'S WAR ON EVERYTHING (the censored repeat) ABC2 137,000 54,000 31,000 27,000 9,000 15,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 09:05 AM
• Comments (53)

WHO WE ARE: Healthy, wealthy and wise, or none of the above

To learn why Generation Jones beats GenX and the Boomers, go to The Tribal Mind

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 31/5/2009
When you say to somebody "How are you?" you don't really want the reply to be anything more than "Fine, thanks". Unless you're the Australian Bureau of Statistics, which managed last year to persuade 22,000 Australians to sit still for an hour and confess the most intimate details about their aches and pains. The Bureau has just issued a report on the survey, which offers these more-disturbing-than-reassuring insights into our state of health:

1. At least we're not a nation of hypochondriacs. In fact, it would be truer to call us a nation in denial: 85 per cent say they are in excellent, very good or good health (up three points since 2001). At the same time, 77 per cent claim to have at least one long term medical problem, and 40 per cent have three or more problems, the most common of which are long or short sightedness (52 per cent); arthritis (15 per cent), hayfever and allergic runny nose (15 per cent), back troubles (14), deafness (10), asthma (10), and hypertension (9).

2. We love our little pills. While only 13 per cent of adults say they have "high or very high psychological distress", 37 per cent say they used medication for "mental wellbeing" in the past 2 weeks. Of these medications, 72 per cent were antidepressants and 27 per cent were sleeping tablets. Australia's favourite drugs are vitamin supplements, followed by the uppers venlafaxine, citalopram and sertraline. We also relieve our mental worries in a liquid way: the proportion of people whose alcohol consumption is classified as high or risky has risen from 11 per cent in 2001 to 13 per cent in 2008.

3. We're kidding ourselves. When the bureau's researchers measured the people in the survey, they found that 68 per cent of men and 55 per cent of women could be classified as overweight or obese. But when people were asked to tell their measurements, only 63 per cent of men and 48 per cent of women gave answers that would suggest they were overweight or obese.

4. We treat our bodies shockingly. Some 54 per cent of men and 44 per cent of women eat one serving or less of fruit a day. As the bureau puts it, 95 per cent of men and 93 per cent of women have "inadequate fruit or vegetable consumption" (less than the five servings of each a day recommended by health authorities). In addition, 34 per cent of men and 36 per cent of women do no exercise of any kind.

5. We treat our kids as badly as we treat ourselves. Among children aged 5 to 17, 38 per cent eat less than one serving of fruit a day, and 37 per cent eat less than one serving of veggies a day; 17 per cent are overweight and 8 per cent are obese; 24 per cent of boys and 16 per cent of girls had consumed alcohol in the week before the interview, and of those 6 per cent of boys and 7 per cent of girls were drinking at a risky or high level.

Go here to read the complete ABS report, and to Comments to discuss whether this suggests we're a healthy nation.

• by David Dale at 12:59 AM
• Comments (14)

The Who We Are Update: Week 22

To distinguish between Boomers, GenXers, and the iGen, go to The Tribal Mind.
To nominate the best books about Australia, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 11 am Sunday
In theory, Masterchef was the number two most watched program in the mainland capitals last week. In fact, if you add together the three showings of Specks and Specks -- twice on ABC1 and once on ABC2 -- you find that its total audience was 1.81 million. No wonder Channel Ten felt confident in cloning it into Talkin' 'Bout Your Generation.

On the same theory, the return of The Chaser's WOE would be the week's number four most watched program in the mainland capitals, with a total audience of 1.66 million. No wonder the ABC ended the week with a handsome 17.5 per cent share of the prime time audience, while Ten came close to knocking Nine off number two spot with its 24.2 per cent (with Seven on 27.5, Nine on 25.7 and SBS on 5.2).

This was Pay TV's account of itself for last week: "Posing with an ice sculpture and a lingerie photo shoot in the desert gave the girls of Australia's Next Top Model contrasting challenges and an audience of 205,000 people for the FOX8 program. NCIS on TV1 was watched by 126,000 people, the second season of Football Superstar premiered on FOX8 with 103,000 viewers and the Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney Channel had its best result of the year, watched by 102,000 people. This week, 100,000 people watched Selling Houses Australia on Lifestyle, Law & Order on W was seen by 93,000 people and Sanctuary premiered on Sci Fi with 73,000 viewers.

"Live coverage of the Monday night National Rugby League game, Live: NRL Cowboys v Knights was watched by 335,000 viewers, the best ever result for FOX Sports' Monday Night Football. Live: AFL Sydney v Port Adelaide was seen by 198,000 people and the NRL's youth competition, Live: Rugby League: Toyota Cup had its best audience of the year so far with 100,000 (all on FOX Sports).

"Subscription TV was the number one source of television across all homes in week 22. STV channels accounted for 22.4% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, was 22.0% of all regional viewing and 58.0% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending May 30
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,830,000 474,000 520,000 407,000 177,000 252,000
2 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Ten 1,673,000 472,000 499,000 294,000 178,000 230,000
3 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,666,000 536,000 497,000 337,000 176,000 120,000
4 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,647,000 489,000 555,000 244,000 151,000 209,000
5 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,640,000 438,000 464,000 333,000 174,000 231,000
6 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,592,000 504,000 488,000 294,000 138,000 168,000
369 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC2 112,000 26,000 28,000 15,000 11,000 32,000
379 SPICKS AND SPECKS RPT ABC1 106,000 42,000 20,000 27,000 11,000 6,000
7 NCIS Ten 1,546,000 406,000 452,000 301,000 173,000 214,000
8 THE CHASER'S WAR ON EVERYTHING ABC1 1,540,000 514,000 478,000 235,000 141,000 172,000
350 THE CHASER'S WAR ON EVERYTHING ABC2 122,000 43,000 31,000 20,000 11,000 17,000
9 THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE Seven 1,516,000 412,000 513,000 300,000 130,000 161,000
10 MERLIN Ten 1,500,000 491,000 354,000 246,000 170,000 238,000
11 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,470,000 387,000 413,000 311,000 146,000 213,000
12 THE ZOO Seven 1,465,000 436,000 404,000 268,000 142,000 214,000
13 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,454,000 416,000 419,000 342,000 133,000 143,000
14 SEA PATROL Nine 1,384,000 374,000 425,000 244,000 167,000 175,000
15 BONES Seven 1,384,000 416,000 367,000 262,000 180,000 159,000
Continued here with all the Thursday, Friday and Saturday football ratings I could find

• by David Dale at 12:26 AM
• Comments (70)

WHO WE ARE: The national must reads

To discuss the differences between Boomers, GenXers, and the IGen, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 24/5/2009
There was a streak of masochism and more than a little myth-making in the suggestions that arrived from this column's readers last week when I sought help in creating a definitive list of Best Books About Australia (go here for that column).

Penelope said "Babette Smith's Australia's Birthstain sources the shame of convict ancestry to homophobia." Dawn Jones said Blood on the Wattle by Bruce Elder "should be compulsory reading in all schools to show how we became such a racist society (though I do believe we are improving), and the wrong that was done to the indigenous peoples of this land."

Stevn thought Leviathan: The Unauthorised Biography of Sydney by John Birmingham gave "a remarkable insight into the grubby politics and sordidly organic subcultural growth of a nation, despite official policies ... a real survey of how the mass of a decidedly self-interested and disobedient proletarian rabble prone to alcoholism and violence grew into a city."

And MIchael Sullivan suggested The Thorn Birds because it "helped to put Australia on a literary map" (as opposed to being good, presumably). Michael said "It appealed (the novel/story) to the masses; and it raised (I suspect) more tourists to visit Australia." Does that make it essential to The Big 20?

In the end, I think we've nailed it -- a formidable list that offers more pleasure than pain, and as much entertainment as insight:

1. 1788, by Watkin Tench: a new edition of his two books A Narrative of the Expedition to Botany Bay (1789) and A Complete Account of the Settlement at Port Jackson (1793), edited by Tim Flannery).

2. The Fatal Shore, Robert Hughes: "probably the most readable history of colonial NSW and Tasmania ever written ... let academics argue over its worth, but no one will doubt its value as an introduction to Australian history" (says Peter).

3. A Fortunate Life, Albert Facey: a "down-to-earth, first hand account of the life of a rambler in early twentieth century Australia" (says GC).

4. My Place, Nadia Wheatley: "a beautiful view of the many people who have made this place home" (says Kate). And another book called My Place, by Sally Morgan: "important for understanding the Aboriginal Australian's perspective of their changed homeland and the difficulties they face in trying to keep their self-worth and their families together" (says Jane).

5. Maestro, Peter Goldsworthy: "His beautiful prose makes the city of Darwin as important a character as the main protagonist" (says Beckala).

6. The Magic Pudding, Norman Lindsay: A hilarious tale of mateship and madness and the source of Australia's national metaphor.

7. For the Term of his Natural Life, Marcus Clark: "read it in the Botanical Gardens and be transported back in time" (says Chris Fuller).

8. They're A Weird Mob, Nino Culotta: The first celebration of a diverse Australia as a nation of immigrants.

9. Kangaroo, D. H. Lawrence: "It was written in 1923 but it so fresh and vivid and relates to many events happening today" (says Shirley).

10. Eucalyptus, Murray Bail: "What could be more Australian? Hopefully Rusty Crowe never gets his plans for a film version off the ground" (says Darren).

11. The Last Continent, Terry Pratchett: "a hilarious look at everything we think makes us Australian" (says Brett).

12. Devil's Hill (Nan Chauncy): "contains wonderful chapters filled with Aussie perseverance taming a wild Tasmania - 'There's a leech having a free beer on your leg, son'" (says Dragonfly).

13. The Future Eaters, Tim Flannery: "a somewhat dry but thorough and profound discussion of the ecology of Australia, and goes a long way towards describing how we have tried to adapt to the bush" (says Nathan).

14. Grand Days, Frank Moorhouse: "quite possibly my favourite Australian novel, with a wonderful heroine ... it shows Australia as once being an important and respected part of the world stage, and it really makes me regret the insularity of modern Australia" (says tqd).

15. Cloudstreet, Tim Winton: "voted Australia's favourite book a couple of years ago," says Julie, but adds: " very different but just as good is The Shark Net by Robert Drewe. Both are set in Perth in the time frame of Eric Cooke the serial killer who was the second last man to be hanged in Australia."

Did we get it right? Go to Comments to argue any choices and help build this into a top 20.

• by David Dale at 07:19 AM
• Comments (38)

The Who We Are update: Week 21

This week of the blog is a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For the latest media trends in Australia, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To learn why boomers hate GenXers, and vice versa, go to The Tribal Mind.
To nominate the best books about Australia, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
Channel Ten went so well last Tuesday and Wednesday there was a possibility it could come in as number two station last week. But its programing fell apart on Thursday and Friday, with the result that the prime time audience shares at week's end were: Seven 27.9 per cent, Nine 26.0, Ten 23.4, ABC 16.9, SBS 5.9 (higher than usual thanks to a boost from Eurovision on Sunday). Care to suggest what Ten should show to improve its chances on Thurs and Fri?

This was Pay TV's account of itself for last week: "Live coverage on FOX Sports of the Saturday night National Rugby League game, Live: NRL Bulldogs v Storm gave the code its biggest audience ever on subscription TV with 359,000 viewers. In other sport in week 21, Live: AFL St Kilda v Essendon was watched by 256,000 people, Live: AFL Teams had its biggest audience of 2009 with 83,000 viewers and the live coverage of the MotoGP, Live: Motorsport: MotoGP Round 4, France was watched by 70,000 people (all on FOX Sports).

"215,000 viewers - a record for the fifth season of FOX8's Australia's Next Top Model - watched Mikarla and Eloise eliminated from the competition while the American Idol Grand Final (also on FOX8) drew 143,000 viewers. This week's broadcast of Selling Houses Australia on Lifestyle was viewed by 126,000 people, Numb3rs on TV1 had a year-to-date best of 93,000 viewers, Dalziel and Pascoe on UKTV gathered its biggest audience of 2009 with 81,000 viewers and My Friend the Sex Tourist premiered on Crime and Investigation with 78,000 people.

"Subscription TV was the number one source of television across all homes in week 21. STV channels accounted for 22.2% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, was 22.3% of all regional viewing and 58.1% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending May 23
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,703,000 414,000 490,000 397,000 155,000 246,000
2 THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE Seven 1,684,000 479,000 491,000 372,000 150,000 192,000
3 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,662,000 454,000 448,000 355,000 174,000 232,000
4 NCIS Ten 1,629,000 447,000 453,000 298,000 200,000 232,000
5 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,613,000 483,000 491,000 259,000 160,000 219,000
6 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,550,000 460,000 467,000 295,000 201,000 126,000
7 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,535,000 425,000 423,000 315,000 153,000 220,000
8 THE ZOO Seven 1,476,000 426,000 368,000 322,000 181,000 180,000
9 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Ten 1,456,000 417,000 413,000 261,000 161,000 205,000
10 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,411,000 434,000 382,000 317,000 129,000 150,000
11 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,402,000 453,000 401,000 265,000 146,000 137,000
12 SEA PATROL Nine 1,399,000 407,000 401,000 238,000 171,000 182,000
13 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,397,000 392,000 382,000 282,000 169,000 172,000
14 MERLIN Ten 1,372,000 409,000 331,000 270,000 134,000 228,000
15 GETAWAY Nine 1,368,000 407,000 399,000 282,000 104,000 175,000
16 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,361,000 447,000 417,000 179,000 146,000 173,000
17 60 MINUTES Nine 1,314,000 390,000 364,000 291,000 138,000 131,000
18 THE GRUEN TRANSFER ABC1 1,312,000 439,000 371,000 234,000 134,000 133,000

• by David Dale at 09:07 AM
• Comments (68)

WHO WE ARE: Is it a sheep? Is it a cow? No, it's super pat

To learn why Star Trek is the definitive entertainment of the 21st century, even if you hate sci-fi, go to
The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 17/5/2009

IN OFFERING this little tract to the public it is equally the writer's wish to conduce to their amusement and information.

As opening sentences of great books go, that doesn't quite match up to "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times"; "The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there"; "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen"; or "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."

But it's certainly more important for Australians than any of those classic teasers, because it's the beginning of the first book ever published about this country.

Sailing with the fleet that left Portsmouth in 1787 for a new Wales somewhere in the south were five men who had been commissioned by publishers to write about an adventure that was as fascinating to the British then as the moon landing was to the modern world in 1969.

The first author to get a manuscript back to his publisher in London was a marine lieutenant named Watkin Tench, and his account of the journey and the first few weeks of the settlement appeared in April 1789. A Narrative of the Expedition To Botany Bay was such a hit (quickly translated into French, German, Dutch and Swedish) that the publishers demanded a sequel, and A Complete Account of the Settlement at Port Jackson appeared in 1793. It was another bestseller. You could say Tench was Australia's first international superstar.

No doubt copies of both books were clutched in the hands of Australia's first eight free settlers when they stepped off the boat in Sydney in 1793. They were not put off by Tench's warning to potential colonists: "If golden dreams of commerce and wealth flatter their imaginations, disappointment will follow."

Certainly they would have enjoyed the comedy. Tench is initially puzzled when the people he calls "the Indians" gather round a sheep pen and shout "Kangaroo! Kangaroo!" Later his Aboriginal friend Colbee points at a cow and asks "Is that a kangaroo?" When Tench identifies a two legged furry hopper as a kangaroo, Colbee says: "We call that a patagaran."

It would seem the earlier explorer whom Tench calls "Mr Cook" got the Aboriginal name a little wrong. Strangely, we've stuck with this mistake for two centuries.

(If they make a movie of Tench's books, I can see the most memorable line from Australian cinema so far -- "That's not a knife. That's a knife" -- being replaced by this dialogue ...

Tench: "That's not a kangaroo, that's a cow. That's a kangaroo."
Colbee: "That's not a kangaroo. That's a patagaran.")

Perhaps the women among the first free settlers were attracted by this observation in Tench's book: "No climate hitherto known is more generally salubrious. To this cause I attribute the great number of births which happened ... Women who certainly would never have bred in any other climate here produced as fine children as ever were born."

Perhaps the men found comfort in this: "To men of small property, unambitious of trade, and wishing for retirement, I think the continent of New South Wales not without inducements".

Talk about praising with faint damns. But that's the very modest mindset from which this country grew. In his introduction to a new edition of Tench's books, Tim Flannery refers to A Narrative of the Expedition to Botany Bay as "the most elegant, perceptive and engaging" of the five "foundation books" of Australia's colonial history (the other four being tedious technical tomes).

That led this column to seek your help in compiling a definitive list of the ten key books published about Australia in the past 220 years - books that might not be perfect prose but which reveal something about our national character.

Would you want to include The Fatal Shore by Robert Hughes? The Lucky Country by Donald Horne? 4 Ingredients by McCosker and Bermingham? Spotless by Lush and Fleming? Something by Bryce Courtenay, Sara Henderson, Albert Facey, or Hugh MacKay?

Go to Comments to suggest our most significant reading matter.

• by David Dale at 10:23 AM
• Comments (42)

The Who We Are update: Week 20

This week of the blog is a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For the latest media trends in Australia, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To learn why Star Trek is the definitive entertainment of the 21st century, go to The Tribal Mind.
To nominate the best books about Australia, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
Ten started last week with a big advantage, thanks to Merlin, Masterchef and Two Apostrophes. But then the biffo scandal played into the hands of Channel Nine, boosting numbers for A Current Affair and The Footy Show, and Nine has resumed its traditional ranking as Still The Two. The average prime time audience shares were: Seven 28.3, Nine 25.7, Ten 22.9, ABC 17.4, SBS 5.6.

Sadly, the massively pre-publicised episode of Four Corners that started the week's frenzy got only 1 million viewers in the mainland capitals, which suggests that most football fans don't care, or can't find the ABC on their remotes.

This was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "124,000 people watched FOXTEL Sport's live coverage of the Manchester United/Arsenal game in which Manchester United took out its third consecutive English Premier League title. It was the highest EPL audience of the year and the third highest ever for EPL on FOX Sports. 289,000 people watched the Melbourne Storm prevail over the Sydney Roosters in Live: NRL Roosters v Storm and 262,000 viewed the Eagles defeat the Demons by four points in Live: AFL West Coast v Melbourne (all on FOX Sports).

"Australia's Next Top Model on FOX8 was watched by 177,000 viewers this week while Selling Houses Australia on Lifestyle had its biggest audience of the year with 129,000 people. NCIS on TV1 was watched by 107,000 people, 100,000 saw Thursday night's episode of M*A*S*H on FOX Classics and Eastenders on UKTV had its best result of 2009 with 88,000 viewers. In children's programming, Hatching Pete premiered on Disney Channel with 82,000 viewers and ICarly on Nickelodeon had its best result of the year with 75,000 viewers.

"Subscription TV was the number one source of television across all homes in week 20. STV channels accounted for 22.5% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, was 21.8% of all regional viewing and 58.6% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending May 17
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,599,000 444,000 484,000 279,000 158,000 235,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,572,000 428,000 439,000 320,000 168,000 216,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,571,000 426,000 369,000 370,000 163,000 242,000
4 THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE Seven 1,551,000 461,000 485,000 313,000 120,000 171,000
5 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,490,000 426,000 495,000 276,000 178,000 115,000
6 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - CHALLENGE Ten 1,472,000 422,000 459,000 265,000 141,000 186,000
7 NCIS Ten 1,435,000 376,000 373,000 299,000 178,000 209,000
8 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,434,000 364,000 434,000 327,000 148,000 160,000
9 THE ZOO Seven 1,431,000 376,000 440,000 271,000 153,000 192,000
10 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,418,000 387,000 385,000 296,000 152,000 198,000
11 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,416,000 437,000 405,000 228,000 173,000 172,000
12 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,358,000 501,000 372,000 227,000 136,000 121,000
13 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,320,000 363,000 380,000 255,000 126,000 197,000
14 MERLIN Ten 1,306,000 418,000 313,000 243,000 122,000 211,000

• by David Dale at 08:40 AM
• Comments (106)

WHO WE ARE: Better to have loved and lost ...

To learn why we're no longer cultural clones of the Americans, go to The Tribal Mind

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 10/5/2009
The seven year itch is a myth. In this country, the theory that marriages are most at risk after seven years is not supported by the facts. It's actually 8 years and 11 months. For marriages that have ended in Australia, that's been the average gap between joining and separating.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Today's column is supposed to be about finding love, not losing it. This is part two of a study of the mating habits of the tribe called Australians, based on research by the Bureau of Statistics. Last week's column offered the optimistic revelation that 95 per cent of Australians over the age of 35 have had at least one live-in relationship in their lives. Here's more detail on how they did it (with a bit on how they lost it)...

If you're looking for love, get more education and get a job. Australians mostly bond with people who have the same educational background. But the bureau warns: "Men with a lower level of education were more likely to have never partnered (10.4 per cent of men with no tertiary qualifications compared with 5.0 per cent of those with tertiary qualifications). Men who were not working in 2006-2007 were almost three times as likely to have never had a live-in relationship as those who were employed."

If you can't find an atheist or a Buddhist, a Christian will do. Australians tend to bond with people who share their religion - or lack of it. The bureau says 87 per cent of couplings are between people of the same belief system. These are the exceptions: "Only 34 per cent of couples involving a Buddhist were same faith partnerships. A higher proportion were 'Buddhist- Christian' couples (40 per cent). Of the 26 per cent of couples involving at least one person with no religion, 52 per cent were matches where both partners were non-religious, while most of the remainder (46 per cent) were a no religion-Christian couple."

Men are more annoying than women. That's what we have to conclude from the fact that wives are far more likely to end relationships than are husbands. In 2007, 13,216 divorces were initiated by men, 16,172 were joint projects and 18,571 were initiated by women.

Most marriages end in death. That's another way of saying that around 40 per cent end in divorce. These are the raw numbers: each year there are about 116,000 marriages and about 48,000 divorces. The divorce rate has been declining over this decade, which looks like good news until you realize it's because the marriage rate was declining over the previous decade.

A terminated de facto relationship is likely to last two years, while a terminated marriage is likely to last at least nine years. The bureau looks on the bright side: "In considering the apparently brief duration of de facto relationships, it should be kept in mind that this median is only for those relationships that have ended - a greater number have gone on to become a registered marriage or remain as long term partnerships. In addition, where de facto relationships are being used by couples as a step before marriage, those that end before marriage may reduce the number of marriages that would otherwise end in divorce within a short period."

So there's no reason for pessimism, as long as you're looking for love in all the right places. Give us your theories at Comments

• by David Dale at 11:00 AM
• Comments (25)

The Who We Are update: Week 19

This week of the blog is a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For the latest media trends in Australia, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To get the viewers' verdict on what's worst on the box, go to The Bogie Awards, 2009
To learn how Australians lose love, go to Who We Are

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
Channel Nine started the week with a massive advantage from the Logies and the Underbelly finale and managed to fritter most of it away by Saturday. In the end, Nine averaged 27.9 per cent of the prime time audience, while Seven got 27.7, Ten 22.5, ABC 16.7, SBS 5.13. Ten is currently gleeful that Masterchef is performing far better than The Biggest Loser and Big Brother. Seven is gleeful that Underbelly is over.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "For the sixth week in a row, and for the 14th week in 2009, Subscription TV was the number one source of television across all homes. STV channels accounted for 22.0% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, was 20.8% of all regional viewing and 57.4% of all viewing in subscription TV homes in week 18, 2009.

"In sport, Live: NRL Cowboys v Dragons on FOX Sports was seen by 307,000 people, Live: AFL Western Bulldogs v St Kilda was watched by 275,000 (a record for the code this year) and the FOX Sports' live coverage of the fifth One Day International against Pakistan, Live: Cricket: ODI Pak v Aus 5th ODI S1, was watched by 103,000 viewers. Live: Rugby League: Toyota Cup received its highest audience for the year with 99,000 viewers (all on FOX Sports).

"Australia's Next Top Model continued its great run with 202,000 viewers for Tuesday night's broadcast on FOX8 and 280,000 on the night when the Plus 2 hours audiences are included. NCIS on TV1 had 116,000 viewers, Law & Order on W was watched by 113,000 people and Wednesday night's episode of Selling Houses Australia on Lifestyle was viewed by 112,000 subscribers. The Bucket List, with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman premiered on Movie One with 107,000 people, Sonny with a Chance on Disney Channel had its biggest audience of the year with 99,000 people and Ben 10: Alien Force on Cartoon Network had its best result for 2009 with 74,000 viewers."

What Australia watched, week ending May 9
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES Nine 2,090,000 639,000 700,000 320,000 199,000 232,000
2 TV WEEK LOGIE AWARDS ARRIVALS Nine 1,698,000 489,000 622,000 276,000 131,000 179,000
3 51ST ANNUAL TV WEEK LOGIE AWARDS Nine 1,652,000 511,000 602,000 238,000 147,000 153,000
4 TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION Ten 1,642,000 475,000 529,000 293,000 142,000 204,000
5 A LION CALLED CHRISTIAN Seven 1,587,000 462,000 443,000 290,000 153,000 238,000
6 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,580,000 429,000 429,000 308,000 176,000 238,000
7 THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE Seven 1,573,000 435,000 492,000 280,000 153,000 213,000
8 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,543,000 426,000 417,000 325,000 163,000 212,000
9 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,542,000 465,000 519,000 277,000 159,000 121,000
10 NCIS Ten 1,516,000 363,000 426,000 312,000 190,000 224,000
11 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,436,000 348,000 435,000 311,000 168,000 174,000
12 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,436,000 390,000 394,000 308,000 150,000 195,000
13 MERLIN Ten 1,406,000 423,000 354,000 245,000 166,000 218,000

• by David Dale at 09:46 AM
• Comments (62)

WHO WE ARE: Love is in the air, except for 5 per cent

To get the viewers' verdict on what's worst on the box, go to The Bogie Awards, 2009

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 3/5/2009
If you're a bit blue and wondering if you'll ever find love, this column is for you. It's a study of the mating habits of the tribe called Australians and it's packed with reassuring tips and revelations.

A wise man once said that love is like traffic - if you think you are in it, then you are in it. Don't be put off by the fact that the wise man was the NSW Premier, Nathan Rees. And please join me in a second assumption - that if you commit to living with somebody, you must be in love (or you think you are, which is the same thing).

We are now in a position to declare that 95 per cent of Australians find love at some point in their lives, and 25 per cent find love twice. Those excellent odds were calculated by the Australian Bureau of Statistics in the Social Trends report it released earlier this year. The bureau notes that 61 per cent of adult Australians are currently living with a partner, and half of those relationships have lasted 18 years or more. It continues:

"According to the 2006-07 Family Characteristics and Transitions Survey, 84 per cent of adults had had at least one marriage or de facto relationship. For people aged 35 years or over, 95 per cent had had at least one marriage or de facto relationship. This included 18 per cent who had had two relationships and 7 per cent who had three or more."

These are some other conclusions we feel safe in drawing from the Bureau's research:

Australians like to try before they buy. The bureau puts it more politely: "Almost three quarters (74 per cent) of people who married in the 2000s lived together before marrying." And pregnancy no longer summons the shotgun. "In the five years to 2007, close to one third (32 per cent) of all births have been to unmarried mothers, twice the average rate of the 1980s."

Once bitten, twice shy. The romantic boffins at the bureau have found that "People in de facto relationships who had been married before were significantly less likely to expect to marry their new partner than people who had never been married. Around one quarter (26 per cent) of people in a de facto relationship who were separated, divorced or widowed intended to marry their current partner, compared with 50 per cent of people who had never been married."

Men tend to trade in older partners for younger models. In the average heterosexual partnership, the man is 2.6 years older than the woman. But, says the bureau, "for marriages occurring between a male divorcee and a never married bride, the groom was, on average, older by 7.3 years." Divorced women seeking toy boys have not been so lucky: "Where the bride was remarrying after a divorce, she was around a year older than her never married groom."

The bureau has many more encouraging insights into our mating habits and prospects, which this column will discuss next week. Meanwhile, go to Comments to offer your theories.

• by David Dale at 06:04 AM
• Comments (30)

The Who We Are update: Week 18

To get the viewers' verdict on what's worst on the box, go to The Bogie Awards, 2009
To learn how Australians find love, go to Who We Are

The ratings race, updated 10am Monday
A week that started so promisingly for Channel Ten, with huge numbers for finales of dancing and losing and reasonable numbers for cooking, ended this way: Seven got 26.7 per cent of the prime time audience, Ten got 25.5, Nine got 25.2, ABC 17.1, SBS 5.5.

The mystery of the week is why Nine has decided to renew Eddie McGuire's faltering comeback vehicle, Hot Seat. Perhaps they have nothing else.

This was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "Australia's Next Top Model set a subscription TV record for a series premiere when 210,000 viewers (303,000 including the Plus2 broadcast) watched the start of the 2009 series on FOX8 on Tuesday night. This week's episode of Selling Houses Australia on Lifestyle was watched by 107,000 people, The Vicar of Dibley on UKTV had its best audience of the year with 102,000 and Sonny With A Chance premiered on Disney Channel with 98,000 viewers.

"In sport, Live: NRL Knights v Broncos on FOX Sports was seen by 315,000 people, Live: AFL Geelong v Brisbane Lions was watched by 217,000 and the FOX Sports' live coverage of the fourth One Day International against Pakistan, Live: Cricket: ODI Pak v Aus 4th ODI S1, was watched by 112,000 viewers. Finally, as the English football season draws to a close, 72,000 people watched Manchester United edge closer to the Premier League title as they beat Middlesborough 2-0 in Live: Football: EPL M'brough v Man Utd.

"For the fifth week in a row, and for the 10th week in the last 12 weeks, Subscription TV was the number one source of television across all homes. STV channels accounted for 22.3% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, was 22.0% of all regional viewing and 58.5% of all viewing in subscription TV homes in week 18, 2009."

What Australia watched, week ending May 2
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - WINNER ANNOUNCED Ten 2,094,000 672,000 587,000 382,000 195,000 259,000
2 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - FINALE NIGHT Ten 1,798,000 565,000 469,000 342,000 171,000 252,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,797,000 373,000 614,000 367,000 214,000 228,000
4 THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE Seven 1,741,000 557,000 535,000 335,000 130,000 184,000
5 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES Nine 1,711,000 471,000 575,000 278,000 184,000 203,000
6 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,601,000 451,000 443,000 302,000 180,000 225,000
7 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,578,000 474,000 505,000 257,000 171,000 172,000
8 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,539,000 476,000 477,000 308,000 176,000 103,000
9 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 1,539,000 453,000 428,000 308,000 145,000 205,000
10 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,509,000 438,000 412,000 282,000 156,000 221,000
11 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - THE FINAL WEIGH-IN Ten 1,488,000 461,000 418,000 302,000 148,000 158,000
12 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,472,000 396,000 424,000 251,000 161,000 241,000
13 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA - THE WINNER ANNOUNCED Ten 1,452,000 460,000 476,000 242,000 125,000 150,000
14 MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA - AUDITION 1 Ten 1,428,000 443,000 412,000 258,000 147,000 168,000
15 THE FORCE - BEHIND THE LINE Seven 1,426,000 423,000 427,000 265,000 127,000 184,000
16 NCIS Ten 1,423,000 399,000 389,000 284,000 163,000 190,000
17 60 MINUTES Nine 1,380,000 379,000 423,000 292,000 141,000 145,000
18 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA - FINALE NIGHT Ten 1,355,000 431,000 418,000 250,000 128,000 128,000

• by David Dale at 07:13 PM
• Comments (58)

WHO WE ARE: It's peanut butter jelly time

For regular updates on popular culture, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald. 26/4/2009
It crossed my mind to do an obituary for Humphrey B. Bear, now that his production company has gone into liquidation. But he doesn't deserve one.

This column's duties include the identification and celebration of national icons, a term that certain media have been applying to Humphrey. In theory, the funny old fellow has been entertaining and educating Australian preschoolers since 1965. In fact, Here's Humphrey was always a cheap and token response by Channel Nine to the rules requiring commercial networks to provide children's programming if they wanted to retain their broadcasting licence.

So instead of a eulogy for a boring bear, I'll take the opportunity to praise two fabulous fruits who are still very much alive - attracting 200,000 viewers whenever they're shown on ABC television and carrying the message about Australian creativity around the world. Unlike Humphrey, Bananas in Pyjamas have universal appeal. (Warning, other puns may become necessary in the course of this discussion.)

I first became aware of the yellow peril when my daughter was bitten on the finger by another three year old as they struggled for possession of a Bananas in Pyjamas beanie at kindergarten. I realised then that the ABC had created an addiction which provides a useful source of non-taxpayer funding but which can drive certain children to desperate action.

The devotion of the fans is a commentary on the power of the story. The phenomenon started as a cartoon shown during Play School in the 1980s, accompanied by this song: "Bananas in pyjamas are coming down the stairs, Bananas in pyjamas are coming down in pairs, Bananas in pyjamas are chasing teddy bears, Cos on Tuesdays they all like to catch them unawares."

In 1992 the ABC gave the Bananas their own series, with characters portrayed by actors in big hot suits (giving a new meaning to the phrase "slip on a banana skin"). Their world is Cuddles Avenue, where B1 and B2 occupy all positions of authority -- park rangers, nurses, crossing guards, beach patrol, car mechanics, road sweepers, and dispute resolution counsellors. Their neighbours are three teddy bears - dreaming Morgan, frivolous Amy and fussy Lulu.

The villain is Rat in a Hat, who runs all the businesses on Cuddles Avenue and whose mission is to sell dubious notions to the teddies. He likes to say "I'm a rat, I'm a rat, I'm a very clever rat!" followed by "Cheese and whiskers!" when his scams are foiled by the Bananas, whose catchphrases are: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, B2? I think I am, B1".

The five minute episodes teach tolerance, optimism, patience, scientific method, and dramatic structure. Most importantly, the Rat's tale demonstrated the dangers of uninhibited capitalism long before the current economic crisis came along to convince consumers over the age of five.

That kind of life lesson is why B1 and B2 are more deserving of our accolades than a large brown bear who never wore any pants and never said a word. When we start throwing round labels like "national icon", lets get our priorities right.

To discuss all this, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 11:07 AM
• Comments (31)

WHO WE ARE: Central yes, but intelligent?

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 19/4/2009
As you know, America's Central Intelligence Agency is omniscient, ubiquitous, and omnipotent -- hence its success in removing Fidel Castro from power in Cuba; in finding the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq; and in capturing Osama bin Laden. So when the CIA turns its attention to Australia, we need to pay attention to what it says.

A painstaking process of investigative journalism* has brought into this column's hands a copy of the CIA's latest report card on Australia. Some of it is fascinating, some of it insulting and some of it disturbing.

After a lot of lively detail about population -- "White 92%, Asian 7%, aboriginal and other 1%" -- and politics -- "Chief of state: Queen of Australia ELIZABETH II (since 6 February 1952) ... the monarch is hereditary" -- the report has this to say under the heading "Illicit drugs":
"Tasmania is one of the world's major suppliers of licit opiate products; government maintains strict controls over areas of opium poppy cultivation and output of poppy straw concentrate; major consumer of cocaine and amphetamines." Presumably that makes us both a good customer and a good supplier for the Americas.

Under the heading "Geography", the CIA reports: "Population concentrated along the eastern and southeastern coasts; the invigorating sea breeze known as the 'Fremantle Doctor' affects the city of Perth on the west coast, and is one of the most consistent winds in the world."

Why this emphasis on a wind in the west? Without wishing to seem eastocentric, I must speak on behalf of the southerly buster, which can be just as invigorating on a hot afternoon as The Doctor, and which brings relief to many more people than any passing puff on the other side. Get your priorities right, CIA.

It seems our environmental record has also been under close scrutiny: "Soil erosion from overgrazing, industrial development, urbanization, and poor farming practices; soil salinity rising due to the use of poor quality water; desertification; clearing for agricultural purposes threatens the natural habitat of many unique animal and plant species; the Great Barrier Reef off the northeast coast, the largest coral reef in the world, is threatened by increased shipping and its popularity as a tourist site; limited natural fresh water resources."

The most worrying commentary appears under the heading "Military". The report displays two lists:
"Manpower available for military service: males age 16-49: 4,999,988; females age 16-49: 4,870,043
Manpower fit for military service: males age 16-49: 4,341,591; females age 16-49: 4,179,659."

A number of questions arise. Why does the CIA need to know how many Australians are available to fight in a war? Is it planning an invasion, and wondering what it's up against? This theory is consistent with an apparently random piece of data elsewhere in the report: "Airports with paved runways: 317; airports with unpaved runways: 144."

Or is it calculating how many of our grunts it can call upon, if America gets caught in another ground war in Asia? Or wondering at what point America might be asked to come to our aid, if we get into trouble with what it calls "Disputes - International". These include "regional states continue to express concern over Australia's 2004 declaration of a 1,000-nautical mile-wide maritime identification zone".

Most baffling of all, how did the CIA work out that 13 per cent of our young men and 14 per cent of our young women are unfit for military service? Have they been looking only at video footage of Corey Worthington and his partying pals?

We may not want to fight for the Americans, or, for that matter, against the Americans, but I'm damned if I'll accept such a calumny upon our brave bronzed boys and girls. Nations have gone to war over lesser insults.

* The research involved putting "CIA Australia" into google, which directed me to World Factbook.

Go to Comments to tell us what you make of the CIA's analysis ...

• by David Dale at 10:16 AM
• Comments (4)

The Who We Are update: The Easter silly season

To find out what the CIA thinks of Australia, go to Who We Are.
To vote for TV's most embarrassing, annoying and underrated, go to The Bogie Awards.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
You can tell it's a non-ratings period when the most watched show of the week is the news, when six of the week's top 20 are repeats, and when the ABC's best performer is a repeat of a whodunit first shown on Channel Nine in 1999.

Seven's collection of repeats earned it 26.7 per cent of the prime time audience, Nine managed 24.2 per cent, Ten 23.5, the ABC 19.4 (a big boost, due largely to Midsomer, Gruen, Specks and Poirot) and SBS 6.1 (thanks mainly to Top Gear, Trawlermen and Mad Men). Can any reader explain why Trawlermen would pull 442,000 to SBS?

This was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "Subscription TV was the number one source of television around Australia in the week commencing Easter Sunday (week 16, 2009). STV channels accounted for 24.5% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, was 23.0% of all regional viewing and 61.9% of all viewing in subscription TV homes.

"A number of subscription TV's animation programs had their biggest audiences of the year as families enjoyed their Easter break with STV. Family Guy on FOX8 had a record audience for the year with 185,000 viewers as did The Simpsons with 178,000 people. Nickelodeon's Avatar: The Last Airbender had its biggest viewership of the year with 93,000 and SpongeBob SquarePants also had its best result of 2009 with 93,000 viewers. 125,000 people watched the Wednesday night episode of Selling Houses Australia and Sunday night's broadcast of NCIS on TV1 drew 113,000 people. This week, Gilmore Girls on Arena was watched by 85,000 people, The Virgin Trade premiered on Crime & Investigation with 74,000 people and Marple: Ordeal by Innocence premiered on Hallmark with 72,000 viewers.

"In sports programming, Live: NRL Bulldogs v Rabbitohs was seen by 315,000 people, Live: AFL Sydney v Carlton was seen by 162,000 viewers and the fourth game of the one day cricket international between Australia and South Africa, Live: Cricket: ODI RSA v Aus Game 4, was watched by 137,000 (all on FOX Sports). Live: Rugby Union: S14 Waratahs v Force on Saturday night was watched by 93,000 viewers."

What Australia watched, week ending April 18
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,518,000 423,000 405,000 284,000 172,000 234,000
2 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,509,000 408,000 445,000 287,000 183,000 186,000
3 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,455,000 380,000 465,000 226,000 171,000 213,000
4 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,440,000 354,000 383,000 339,000 176,000 188,000
5 NCIS RPT Ten 1,425,000 355,000 427,000 254,000 192,000 197,000
6 BONDI RESCUE Ten 1,424,000 393,000 383,000 300,000 158,000 190,000
7 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,421,000 377,000 391,000 275,000 169,000 210,000
8 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,396,000 385,000 412,000 272,000 128,000 199,000
9 NCIS EP 2 RPT Ten 1,395,000 382,000 398,000 249,000 177,000 189,000
10 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,274,000 403,000 354,000 224,000 165,000 128,000
11 CRIMINAL MINDS (R) Seven 1,242,000 342,000 365,000 212,000 167,000 156,000
12 MIDSOMER MURDERS ABC1 1,234,000 386,000 346,000 155,000 158,000 189,000
13 60 MINUTES Nine 1,221,000 324,000 338,000 257,000 135,000 166,000
14 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE (R) Seven 1,212,000 336,000 374,000 213,000 142,000 147,000
15 THE GRUEN TRANSFER ABC1 1,210,000 424,000 321,000 204,000 126,000 137,000
16 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,184,000 413,000 293,000 208,000 134,000 135,000
17 NEW TRICKS RPT ABC1 1,166,000 329,000 329,000 214,000 128,000 167,000
18 NINE NEWS Nine 1,138,000 309,000 330,000 264,000 126,000 110,000
19 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 1,124,000 333,000 268,000 233,000 116,000 174,000
20 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,122,000 326,000 286,000 207,000 151,000 152,000

• by David Dale at 04:31 AM
• Comments (89)

The Who We Are update: Week 17

To vote on the most annoying, embarrassing and underrated programs and people on Australian television, go to The Bogies.
To find out what the CIA thinks of Australia, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10am Monday
You can always rely on old Bill. When your audience is sinking, bring out Mr Connolly and he'll put you back on top. Channel Seven, lacking Packed To The Rafters and with Ten eating away at its audience, was neck and neck with Nine for most of the week. But after Saturday, it ended with 28.0 per cent of the prime time audience, while Nine got 26.1 per cent, Ten got 22.8, the ABC got 17.4, and SBS got 5.7.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "On ANZAC Day, the History Channel's production For Valour, documenting the tales of bravery by Australian Victoria Cross winners, premiered with 68,000 viewers. In the same week, Family Guy on FOX8 was watched by 145,000 people, Grand Designs on Lifestyle had its biggest audience this year with 132,000 viewers and 108,000 people watched Law & Order: SVU on TV1. My Family on UKTV had its largest audience year-to-date with 78,000 subscribers and the movie Gone Baby Gone premiered on Movie One with 73,000 viewers. In children's programming, Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney Channel had its best result so far for 2009 with 99,000 viewers while SpongeBob SquarePants on Nickelodeon was seen by 78,000 people this week.

"In sports programming, FOX Sports coverage of Live: NRL Cowboys v Sea Eagles was seen by 330,000 people and is the biggest NRL audience for subscription TV so far this year. Live: AFL West Coast v Western Bulldogs was seen by 223,000 people; the first one day cricket international between Australia and Pakistan, Live: Cricket: ODI Pak v Aust 1st ODI S1, was watched by 150,000 and Live: AFL Teams on Thursday night was had its best result of 2009 with 82,000 viewers (all on FOX Sports).

"Subscription TV was the number one source of television around Australia in the week of ANZAC Day (week 17, 2009). STV channels accounted for 22.5% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, was 21.8% of all regional viewing and 58.8% of all viewing in subscription TV homes"

What Australia watched, week ending April 24
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES -EP1 Nine 1,813,000 530,000 610,000 254,000 182,000 237,000
2 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES -EP2 Nine 1,803,000 512,000 615,000 268,000 176,000 232,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,649,000 402,000 494,000 334,000 162,000 257,000
4 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,610,000 437,000 467,000 329,000 186,000 191,000
5 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,605,000 439,000 530,000 309,000 154,000 172,000
6 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,522,000 414,000 413,000 290,000 173,000 233,000
7 60 MINUTES Nine 1,507,000 405,000 473,000 338,000 151,000 139,000
8 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,488,000 399,000 464,000 257,000 157,000 210,000
9 THE FORCE - BEHIND THE LINE Seven 1,482,000 446,000 422,000 287,000 128,000 199,000
10 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,477,000 347,000 510,000 210,000 195,000 215,000
11 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,448,000 392,000 399,000 291,000 160,000 206,000
12 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,384,000 427,000 418,000 266,000 153,000 121,000
13 NCIS RPT Ten 1,378,000 386,000 383,000 242,000 182,000 185,000
14 BORDER SECURITY USA Seven 1,366,000 381,000 413,000 288,000 119,000 166,000
15 MISSING PIECES Nine 1,349,000 349,000 435,000 231,000 136,000 198,000
16 10 YEARS YOUNGER IN 10 DAYS Seven 1,348,000 394,000 431,000 181,000 154,000 187,000

• by David Dale at 09:14 AM
• Comments (40)

WHO WE ARE: Happy feats

To discuss what would make you subscribe -- or resubscribe -- to Pay TV, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 12/4/2009
You want to know the secret of human happiness? No problem. The Australian Bureau of Statistics has the answer, as it does for all the important questions of life. The secret amounts to this: stay single, don't smoke, get some extra education, and have a few drinks. Well, OK, you can get married if you like, but don't get divorced. And whatever you do, don't live in Melbourne.

This emerged when the Bureau asked 8,800 Australians between 16 and 85 to rate how happy they were, on a scale from 1 to 7. The question was: "How do you feel about your life as a whole, taking into account what has happened in the last year and what you expect to happen in the future?" and the options were: 1 Delighted; 2 Pleased; 3 Mostly satisfied; 4 Mixed; 5 Mostly dissatisfied; 6 Unhappy; 7 Terrible.

The survey was done in 2007 as part of a national study of mental health, but the results have not been reported till now. Last week this column reported that 82 per cent of Australians said they were delighted, pleased or mostly satisfied with their lives. I asked the Bureau to cross-index the happiness scale with some of the other questions it had asked the sample. Here's how to maximise happiness:

Follow the sun. The bureau found that Brisbane and Perth were the happiest kingdoms of them all -- 55.7 per cent of people in each city rated themselves delighted or pleased. In Sydney, 50.8 per cent were delighted or pleased and 1.8 per cent felt unhappy or terrible. The most miserable city was Melbourne -- only 47.9 per cent of south-easterners were delighted or pleased, while 3.1 per cent felt unhappy or terrible.

Pour another one. When happiness was compared with alcohol consumption, the drinkers won. Among people who had not consumed alcohol in the past 12 months, 44.7 per cent were delighted or pleased, and 3.8 per cent felt unhappy or terrible. Among people who described their alcohol consumption as "At least once a week but less than nearly every day", the figures were 56.6 happy and 1.4 per cent sad. But it's not a case of the more the merrier - among people who drink "nearly every day", 47.2 per cent were happy and 3.2 per cent were sad.

Put out that fag. Among current smokers, 44.3 per cent were happy and 4.3 per cent were sad. Among non-smokers, 53.2 per cent were happy and 1.6 per cent were sad.

Get a degree. Among people who had gained an extra qualification after they left school, 54.8 per cent were happy, compared with 47.0 per cent of people who had only school qualifications.

Stay single or stay married. The happiness score was 53.7 per cent for married people and 53.2 per cent for never married people, but only 37.6 per cent for people who were separated, divorced or widowed.

Get on your feet. Among people who say they do a "high level of exercise", 64.5 per cent are happy, while only 48.4 per cent of low exercisers are happy.

Get rich quick. Yes, money can buy happiness - 57.3 per cent of people in the top 20 per cent of earnings say they are deligted or pleased, compared with 46.1 per cent of people in the bottom 20 per cent. But such is the level of optimism in this country that even the poor stay positive - only 3.7 per cent of the lowest earners say they feel unhappy or terrible. It's the lucky country, after all.

Tell us how this fits with your experience at Comments

• by David Dale at 06:23 AM
• Comments (5)

WHO WE ARE: When it comes to being happy, we are

To decide The Bogie Awards for TV's most embarrassing, annoying and underrated, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun Herald, 5/4/2009
Quick, on a scale from one to seven, rate how happy you are. Assume that 1 means " "I am delighted with my life" and 7 means "I feel terrible". Don't brood on it, just give an instant response. Ask the person nearest you to do the same.

If you rated your happiness level at 3 or better, you're with the vast mass of Australians - 82 per cent of us say we feel delighted, pleased or mostly satisfied with our lives. If your neighbour chose 5 or worse, she's in a tiny minority - only 3.5 per cent of Australians feel terrible, unhappy or mostly dissatisfied.

Yes, we're a cheery lot. In fact, we're cheerier in the late noughties than we were in the late 90s. Back then, only 76 per cent of Australians rated their condition at 1, 2 or 3.

This insight into the mood of Australia is buried within a massive research project conducted by The Bureau of Statistics in 2007. The bureau's experts spent thousands of hours interviewing a sample of 8,800 Australians aged between 16 and 85 about their mental health.

One question involved what the bureau calls the "Delighted/ Terrible scale". The people were asked "How do you feel about your life as a whole, taking into account what has happened in the last year and what you expect to happen in the future?" and shown this list of possible responses: 1 Delighted; 2 Pleased; 3 Mostly satisfied; 4 Mixed; 5 Mostly dissatisfied; 6 Unhappy; 7 Terrible.

It's nothing less than the fundamental question of human existence: "How happy are you?" The results have not been revealed till now, because when the bureau's Australian Social Trends report was released last month, all the focus was on the revelation that 45 per cent of Australians had, at some point in their lives, suffered a mental disorder such as anxiety, depression or substance abuse.

That might give the impression of a sick or sad society. The Delighted/ Terrible Scale suggests otherwise. Out of the 16 million Australians in the age group studied, 2.8 million apparently float around in a state of delight and 5.4 million are smiling, while only 233,000 are unhappy and only 115,000 feel terrible.

Despite stereotypes that men suffer in silence and women complain constantly, there are no significant gender differences at either end of the scale. But there are differences between age groups - though not in the way you'd expect.

The most miserable age group is people between 40 and 49 - 3.7 per cent of them feel unhappy or terrible, compared with 1.5 per cent of people over 70 and 1.1 per cent of people aged 16 to 29. You might speculate that the 40-somethings have the dual worry of their dependent children turning into adults and their parents turning into dependent children.

When the Bureau asked the happiness question ten years ago, it found that 12 per cent of Australians were delighted (compared with 17.5 per cent now) and 1.3 per cent felt terrible (0.7 per cent now).

I've asked the Bureau's boffins to burrow down deeper into the data and tell me if married people are happier than single people, if Sydney is happier than Melbourne, and if drinkers are happier than teetotalers. They promise full details for next week's column.

In the meantime, give us your theories on human happiness at Comments

• by David Dale at 04:09 AM
• Comments (3)

The Who We Are update: Week 14

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For the latest discussion of popular culture in Australia, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To vote for TV's most embarrassing, annoying and underrated, go to The Bogie Awards.
To name Australia's most thought-provoking places, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
What metaphor should we use for Channel Seven's previously successful programming schedule: a line of dominoes or a house of cards? Either way, the removal of one show almost brought the structure down. Without Packed to the Rafters, Seven was on the brink of turning into number two. It was only the prayers of The Vicar of Dibley that saved Seven on Saturday night.

Seven won the week with 27.7 per cent of the prime time audience. Nine was winning until Saturday, but ended up with 27.4 per cent (and the highest share of viewers aged 18-49). That's because its programming structure is just as fragile, built almost entirely upon Underbelly 2.

Only Ten had any reason to be cracking the champagne this week. Thanks to NCIS, Bondi Rescue, The Biggest Loser and SYTYCDA, it won with viewers aged 16-39 and managed 23.3 per cent of the total audience (with the ABC on a healthy 16.9 and SBS on a sickly 4.7).

Here's Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "The Socceroos set a new audience record for subscription TV when 431,000 viewers watched Live: Football: World Cup Qualifier Aust. v Uzbekistan on FOX Sports, the biggest audience ever to a program on STV. In other sport this week, Live: NRL Storm v Titans was watched by 275,000 people, 223,000 viewers watched Live: AFL Geelong v Richmond, 95,000 watched Live: Rugby Union: S14 Waratahs v Storm and Live: Football: EPL Blackburn v Tott was seen by 82,000 viewers (all on FOX Sports).

"In entertainment programming, Family Guy on FOX8 was seen by 150,000 people, NCIS on TV1 was seen by 131,000 viewers and Grand Designs on Lifestyle had its biggest audience of the year with 88,000 people. 86,000 people watched As the Bell Rings on Disney Channel, Friends on 111 Hits had its best audience of the year-to-date with 81,000 people as did Handy Manny on Playhouse Disney with 74,000 people."

This week we enter the black hole that is the Easter "non-ratings period". This column will continue to update you on how many are watching the parade of repeats and second-raters the networks have planned for us.

What Australia watched, week ending April 4, 2009
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES Nine 2,128,000 689,000 655,000 322,000 214,000 247,000
2 THE FARMER WANTS A WIFE Nine 1,599,000 426,000 513,000 331,000 124,000 204,000
3 BORDER SECURITY Seven 1,559,000 414,000 409,000 341,000 177,000 218,000
4 NCIS Ten 1,552,000 465,000 375,000 344,000 174,000 195,000
5 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,537,000 452,000 409,000 301,000 160,000 215,000
6 CUSTOMS Nine 1,506,000 414,000 477,000 300,000 155,000 161,000
7 BONDI RESCUE Ten 1,504,000 514,000 363,000 309,000 139,000 179,000
8 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,489,000 439,000 437,000 256,000 150,000 208,000
9 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,438,000 427,000 435,000 240,000 146,000 191,000
10 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - THE WEIGH-IN Ten 1,420,000 419,000 380,000 322,000 118,000 181,000
11 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,404,000 406,000 383,000 278,000 132,000 205,000
12 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,398,000 375,000 382,000 308,000 126,000 206,000
13 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,395,000 401,000 473,000 187,000 165,000 168,000
14 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,383,000 342,000 328,000 358,000 158,000 197,000
15 THE FARMER WANTS A WIFE -REUNION Nine 1,382,000 367,000 431,000 292,000 116,000 175,000
16 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,376,000 425,000 428,000 265,000 148,000 110,000
17 NCIS RPT Ten 1,338,000 395,000 381,000 261,000 148,000 151,000
18 ALL SAINTS Seven 1,313,000 446,000 372,000 200,000 137,000 158,000
19 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA Ten 1,305,000 391,000 404,000 254,000 107,000 149,000
20 CITY HOMICIDE Seven 1,296,000 331,000 417,000 252,000 140,000 156,000

• by David Dale at 09:16 AM
• Comments (49)

WHO WE ARE: Stuck here, might as well make the most of it

To discuss the zeitgeist flick of the Noughties, go to The Tribal Mind.
Go to Your Bogie votes to vent your rage on television.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 29/3/2009
Most Australians, when asked where they'd like to spend their annual holidays, are inclined to say ABBA, which stands for "Anywhere But Bloody Australia". A survey done two years ago for the Department of Tourism concluded: "Travel within Australia does not currently offer the experiences and gratifications sought from a holiday ... Not only is Australia not different, but it has a high degree of perceived homogeneity." In other words, it's the same all over.

The researchers recommended an image-boosting campaign to convince Australians to stay and embrace the boredom. Now that won't be necessary. The global financial crisis is doing the Tourism Department's job for it.

The Tourism Minister, Martin Ferguson, recently found "good news" in Bureau of Statistics figures that suggest "fewer Australians are presently travelling internationally ... Today's statistics are consistent with the anecdotal evidence of recent months suggesting Australians have chosen to holiday at home this summer."

Grudgingly and grumpily we're seeing Australia first. But it doesn't have to be a chore. The tourism research found Australians go overseas because "it is the prospect of a temporary 'new life' that motivates them -- not just in terms of places to see and things to do but also in terms of learning, personal development and gaining genuine social and cultural insights."

Alright, how do we gain the same kind of inspirational and transformational experience within Australia? By going to places that matter - sites that offer an emotional, historical or anthropological point of difference.

And that's where I need your help. I want to construct a list of The 20 Places every Australian Needs To Experience, not for their scenery, but for their significance.

If you were in London, you'd go to Down House and walk in the garden where Charles Darwin thought up the most powerful idea of the 19th century -- the theory of evolution. If you were in Vienna, you'd go to the apartment where Sigmund Freud thought up the most powerful idea of the 20th century - psychoanalysis. In Jerusalem you'd go to the Temple Mount, where Muslims believe the prophet Mohammed was taken to heaven by the angel Gabriel. In New York, you'd go to the hole where the World Trade Centre used to be. In Los Angeles, you'd climb to the Hollywood sign and reflect on how movies changed the world. In Paris you'd sit in the lobby of the Ritz Hotel, where the modern notion of hospitality was perfected.

Here's my first attempt at defining the iconic places of Australia ...

The campsite at Uluru where a dingo took Azaria Chamberlain in 1981 and began one of our greatest mysteries.
The steps of old Parliament House, Canberra, where Gough Whitlam gave his "nothing will save the Governor-General" speech in 1975.
Magill Estate, Adelaide, where Max Schubert first built Grange Hermitage in 1951.
The spot on the Parramatta River, Sydney, where the Aboriginal leader Pemulwuy led his guerilla fighters in a battle against invading British forces in 1797.
Pin Oak Court in the Melbourne suburb of Vermont South, which is the real identity of Ramsay Street, Erinsborough, from which Neighbours displays Australia to the world.
The apartment block in Moncur Street, Woollahra, Sydney, which pretended to be Number 96 in our pioneering TV soap of the 1970s (first bare breasts, first gay kiss, first use of a terrorist bomb to boost ratings).
The shed in Glenunga, Adelaide, where Lance Hill built his rotary clothes hoist in 1945.
The University Cafe in Lygon Street, Melbourne, from where the espresso machine began its conquest of Australia's suburbs in 1952.
Freshwater Beach, Harbord, Sydney, where Duke Kahanamoku, from Hawaii, introduced Australians to surfboard riding in 1915.
Gunlom Falls, in Kakadu National Park, where Crocodile Dundee was filmed in 1985.
The Eureka Stockade near Ballarat, Victoria, where gold miners fought for a republic in 1854.

I know you can think of many more opportunities for "genuine social and cultural insights". Tell us about them at Comments

• by David Dale at 01:01 AM
• Comments (7)

WHO WE ARE: Going forward, lets iterate our nuances

To find out which niche the advertisers put you in, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 22/3/2009
A perfect storm, or, more precisely, a perfect shitstorm, of protest greeted this column's assertion last week that the Buzz Word Of The Year is nuance (see below). Readers accused me of premature expostulation, urging consideration of other fashionable jargon from politics, business, education and sociology before we settle on a winner.

I'd thought I was in the clear when I discovered a reference to my chosen BWOTY in the newsletter Crikey, where Canberra correspondent Bernard Keane described Malcolm Turnbull thus: "His economic message on the stimulus packages -- support for the first package then criticising its impact, opposition to the second package but support for a smaller package of tax cuts and infrastructure investment in the event the Senate blocked it -- has more nuance than, well, Nuanced Jack McNuance, winner of this year's Mr Nuance competition."

But Jim Irvine found inspiration in another politician: "Sorry, you are all wrong. Toxic is gathering a lot of support, thanks to Tony Abbott." And Arthur McKenzie asked: "What about working families, year on year, conduit, securitisation and going forward?" To which Andrew added: "I work in the finance/accounting industry ... the phrases 'Going forward', 'Moving forward' and 'Incentivise' are dropped on the floor like peanut shells."

Stephen Loomes reckoned that "moving forward" had "its bastard birth in the US with Condaleeza Rice, but it has so replaced words such as advanced, progressed or other simpler expressions that it has become a veritable stampede."

Maozze revealed that "in our office, we've developed a measure called the milli-Rudd (mR), that provides a score of buzzwords multiplied by turgidity multiplied by dullness multiplied by blandness. We reckon that to get any document approved by the Boss, you need to score at least 945 mR."

A reader who wished to be called Roger That nominated "iteration" and "iterative': "Whenever someone is trying to make their project sound important, they say 'it's an iterative process'. As far as I can tell, this means they are taking it one step at a time."

But Tassie leapt to the defence of this concept: "Iterative is not the same as repetitive. An iterative process is one in which an action is repeated, with a result which is closer to the desired one on each occasion. For example, creating a form to be filled out is an iterative process; I design the form, people fill it out incorrectly, I alter the form, they make new mistakes, I alter it again to discourage those mistakes, a new requirement comes along ... it will probably never be 'finished' but it is getting better each time." So by this definition, each new iteration is a nuance of the last one?

A little research reveals that "iterative" and "iteration" come from the Latin word "iter", meaning "a journey", which reminds us of the BWOTY for 2008, when every speechmaker at the Oscars, Logies, Grammys, Emmys and AFIs told us they'd been on one.

Dermot Duncan previewed next year's BWOTY: "I recently returned from living in the UK after 7 years: the word I heard the most was 'segue' [pronounced segway]. It supposedly means to 'move seamlessly from one theme/idea to another'. So, it is a 'link'." And if you're segueing, you have to be moving forward.

You can nuance this journey at the online iteration of this column by going forward to Comments.

• by David Dale at 11:17 AM
• Comments (44)

The Who We Are Update: Week 13

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For the latest discussion of popular culture in Australia, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To nominate Australia's most thought-provoking places, go to Who We Are
To discuss the zeitgeist flick of the Noughties, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
It was a truly polymorphous push for the hearts and minds of Australia last week, instead of the usual bilateral battle in which Nine starts strongly then gets swamped by Seven. Channel Ten got a boost from the start of the aerial pingpong season in Melbourne, and the ABC revelled in Specks, Gruen and its evening news, which is now regularly ahead of Nine's. The ABC's share of the prime time audience -- 17 per cent -- was its highest for the year, as was Ten's 23.1 per cent. Seven got 28.6, Nine got 26.1 and SBS got its usual 5.1.

From this week, the game is about to change, as Seven loses Rafters and City Homicide. But Nine can't have too many more episodes of Underbelly to prop up its Mondays.

And this was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "With the start of the Australian Rules football season, Live: AFL Collingwood v Adelaide on FOX Sports was watched by 260,000 people. The Saturday early evening Rugby League game, Live: NRL Warriors v Broncos, was watched by 279,000 people and the Super 14 clash between the NSW and Auckland Rugby teams on Friday night, Live: Rugby Union: S14 Blues v Waratahs, was seen by 92,000 people. In entertainment programming, Sunday night's NCIS on TV1 drew 128,000 people and Friday's broadcast of Family Guy on FOX8 was watched by 125,000 people."

What Australia watched, week ending March 28
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES Nine 2,069,000 616,000 627,000 359,000 213,000 253,000
2 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 2,033,000 576,000 688,000 344,000 188,000 236,000
3 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,692,000 427,000 554,000 292,000 179,000 240,000
4 BORDER SECURITY Seven 1,573,000 417,000 497,000 310,000 147,000 203,000
5 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,559,000 412,000 382,000 364,000 173,000 229,000
6 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,455,000 390,000 412,000 286,000 163,000 204,000
7 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,433,000 344,000 467,000 257,000 168,000 198,000
8 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,417,000 406,000 435,000 283,000 166,000 129,000
9 NCIS Ten 1,394,000 347,000 368,000 298,000 164,000 217,000
10 TRIPLE ZERO HEROES Seven 1,378,000 362,000 399,000 267,000 139,000 211,000
11 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,348,000 354,000 437,000 226,000 171,000 160,000
12 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,344,000 347,000 382,000 283,000 140,000 191,000
13 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,322,000 372,000 404,000 224,000 150,000 171,000
14 CUSTOMS Nine 1,321,000 366,000 422,000 242,000 138,000 152,000
15 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA Ten 1,301,000 379,000 402,000 241,000 140,000 139,000
16 CRIMINAL MINDS Seven 1,287,000 350,000 363,000 242,000 155,000 176,000
17 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - THE WEIGH-IN Ten 1,282,000 385,000 311,000 284,000 146,000 156,000

• by David Dale at 08:10 AM
• Comments (44)

WHO WE ARE: The mysterious conundrum of the puzzle enigma

To report your sightings of 70s symptoms, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 8/3/2009
Australia, a nation founded by criminals, can't get enough of crime thrillers, as in Underbelly, CSI, NCIS, Law and Order, Border Security and City Homicide. The ever helpful Bureau of Statistics has just provided us with an excellent new mystery thriller in its report entitled Criminal Courts, Australia 2007-2008.

Buried in it are these puzzles, upon which you may care to apply your detective skills:

1) Why are people in Canberra more likely to be found not guilty than people in Western Australia (in WA, 91 per cent of defendants are proven guilty, while in the ACT, it's 70 per cent). And why are 22 per cent of cases withdawn by the prosecution in Canberra, while only 1 per cent are withdrawn in Tasmania? Are the police in Canberra less competent than the police in WA and Tasmania, or are the criminals more persuasive? Either way, it's clearly the politicians' fault.

2) You won't be surprised to learn that 86 per cent of defendants in serious cases are male (men are violent creatures, after all), but why did the number of women on trial increase by 9 per cent in 12 months while the number of men increased by only 5 per cent? Are women suffering a surge of testosterone? (The most frequent charges against women are for "acts intended to cause injury", illicit drug offences, and "deception", while for men the top two are the same and the third is sexual assault).

3) How did we suddenly become a nation of bad drivers? The number facing magistrate's court for traffic offences went up by 13 per cent between 2007 and 2008, with speeding charges up 16 per cent. Don't try to blame it on young people, and all that binge drinking. The bureau says "people over 45 were more likely to be charged with speeding than those under 25 ... Around the same proportion of defendants in each age group were charged with exceeding the prescribed content of alcohol limit."

4) Where did all the burglars go? Between 2002 and 2008, the number of defendants charged with "unlawful entry with intent" decreased by 44 per cent (while sexual assault charges rose by 32 per cent and drug charges rose 30 per cent). You can grudgingly admire the skill of a cat burglar, while it takes no talent to deal drugs.

5) Since 61 per cent of defendants in serious cases are under 34, do we conclude that older people are more honest than younger people or that they are simply cleverer at getting away with it?

6) Why do the wheels of justice grind ever more slowly? In 2002, one third of cases in the higher courts were finalised in less than 13 weeks, and only 14 per cent took more than 52 weeks. In 2008, only 17 per cent took less than 13 weeks, while a quarter of cases took longer than 52 weeks.

If you think you understand this nation of convicts, and can answer any or all of these questions, offer your solutions at Comments.

To read the full report, go here.

• by David Dale at 03:58 AM
• Comments (2)

The Who We Are update: Week 12

To find out which niche the advertisers put you in, go to The Tribal Mind.

To nuance the Buzz Word of the Year, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
Channel Seven won the week, averaging 28.5 per cent of the prime time audience, while Nine got 26.7 per cent (thanks to U2 and Customs), Ten 22.7 (thanks to dancers and NCIS), ABC 16.8 (Thanks to Specks and Gruen) and SBS 5.3 (thanks to Top Gear). With Packed To The Rafters taking a break for a few months, Seven may have trouble holding its lead next week.

This was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "Rugby League, Rugby Union and cricket drew great audiences on FOX Sports viewers. Live: NRL Dragons v Titans was watched by 282,000 viewers; the first day's play in the final test in South Africa, Live: Cricket: Test RSA v Aus Day 1 S1, was viewed by 277,000 people and 88,000 people watched the NSW Waratahs play the Canterbury Crusaders in Live: Rugby Union: S14 Waratahs v Crus. On Sky Racing, Sky Raceday also proved popular, being seen by 69,000 people.

"In entertainment programming, numerous programs achieved record audiences. TV1's NCIS was watched by 147,000 people, the program's biggest audience ever. On Sunday morning, The Simpsons on FOX8 drew 110,000 people and Disney Channel's Hannah Montana was watched by 93,000. This week, Bargain Hunt on Lifestyle was seen by 80,000, Waking the Dead on UKTV had its largest audience since 2007 with 79,000 viewers and Motorway Cops on Crime and Investigation also had an all-time record audience with 77,000 people. That '70s Show on 111 Hits was watched by 71,000 people (a record for the program on the channel) and Handy Manny was seen by 66,000 people, a record for the program too. "

What Australia watched, week ending March 21
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES Nine 2,174,000 632,000 728,000 374,000 205,000 236,000
2 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,887,000 536,000 618,000 332,000 182,000 219,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,583,000 388,000 442,000 348,000 175,000 231,000
4 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,558,000 427,000 469,000 282,000 164,000 217,000
5 BORDER SECURITY Seven 1,523,000 424,000 480,000 296,000 141,000 182,000
6 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,502,000 421,000 435,000 277,000 157,000 213,000
7 CUSTOMS Nine 1,469,000 360,000 508,000 307,000 147,000 147,000
8 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,459,000 370,000 394,000 313,000 163,000 219,000
9 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,450,000 350,000 476,000 321,000 173,000 130,000
10 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,365,000 342,000 372,000 302,000 149,000 200,000
11 NCIS Ten 1,359,000 412,000 323,000 259,000 170,000 196,000
12 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,333,000 340,000 413,000 253,000 135,000 192,000
13 BONDI RESCUE Ten 1,330,000 433,000 297,000 288,000 129,000 184,000
14 60 MINUTES Nine 1,327,000 367,000 398,000 273,000 139,000 149,000
15 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,325,000 365,000 402,000 266,000 138,000 155,000
16 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA Ten 1,292,000 351,000 395,000 270,000 123,000 154,000

• by David Dale at 05:20 AM
• Comments (64)

The Who We Are update: Week 11

To discuss whether alarmed Australians have started cocooning again, go to The Tribal Mind.

To get an early clue on what will be the Buzz Word of the Year, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
Having two hit shows is not enough. Underbelly wins Monday night for Nine, and Two and a Half Men performs well every night, but Seven has fallen into the comfortable pattern of averaging 29.4 per cent of the prime time audience, while Nine manages 27.8, Ten 21.5, ABC 16.0 and SBS 5.3. The only difference this week will be a rise for the ABC, thanks to the arrival of The Gruen Transfer. Lets call it now: Nine is stuffed for the year.

Here's Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "On Saturday evening, Live: Sound Relief Melbourne was watched by an average 220,000 viewers, while Live: Sound Relief Sydney was watched by 121,000 people. Across the day, 1.2m viewers turned into the concerts, which were broadcast live in their entirety by Channel [V] from the MCG in Melbourne and by Max from the SCG in Sydney. In other entertainment programming this week, Twister on TV1 was watched by 122,000 people.

"In sport, Live: Cricket: Test RSA v AUS Day 4 S1 was watched by 353,000 people, the first week of the NRL saw 296,000 viewers watch Live: NRL Bulldogs v Sea Eagles and 241 watch Warrior v Eels. Live: Rugby Union: S14 Brum v Waratahs was seen by 120,000 subscribers. STV channels accounted for 24.5% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, was 22.5% of all regional viewing and 61.8% of all viewing in subscription TV homes."

What Australia watched, week ending March 14
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES Nine 2,269,000 731,000 690,000 358,000 214,000 275,000
2 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,817,000 524,000 574,000 306,000 199,000 214,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,602,000 436,000 393,000 416,000 140,000 217,000
4 BORDER SECURITY Seven 1,548,000 512,000 389,000 346,000 122,000 179,000
5 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,545,000 383,000 498,000 299,000 178,000 187,000
6 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,468,000 390,000 401,000 306,000 165,000 207,000
7 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,416,000 355,000 412,000 312,000 160,000 176,000
8 NCIS Ten 1,412,000 391,000 392,000 287,000 165,000 176,000
9 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,345,000 344,000 397,000 290,000 133,000 181,000
10 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,344,000 351,000 407,000 274,000 151,000 161,000
11 CRIMINAL MINDS Seven 1,337,000 345,000 413,000 277,000 137,000 166,000
12 CUSTOMS Nine 1,334,000 369,000 403,000 274,000 136,000 152,000
13 TRIPLE ZERO HEROES Seven 1,334,000 395,000 327,000 308,000 119,000 185,000
14 ADULTS ONLY 20 TO 1 Nine 1,317,000 398,000 406,000 238,000 131,000 144,000
15 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,316,000 367,000 433,000 200,000 166,000 149,000
16 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,301,000 334,000 350,000 290,000 141,000 186,000
17 CRIME INVESTIGATION AUSTRALIA Nine 1,238,000 426,000 344,000 182,000 112,000 174,000
18 ALL SAINTS Seven 1,220,000 379,000 388,000 167,000 142,000 144,000
19 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,214,000 378,000 373,000 259,000 122,000 81,000
20 TWO AND A HALF MEN -MON Nine 1,196,000 325,000 376,000 253,000 111,000 131,000

• by David Dale at 09:09 AM
• Comments (64)

WHO WE ARE: It's not what you read, or how, but whether

To nominate the most annoying, embarrassing and underrated people or programs for TV's Bogie Awards, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 1/3/2009
Does anybody actually read any more -- in the sense of taking pleasure in turning the pages of a printed object, as opposed to scanning a computer screen? Amazingly, the answer might be yes, if we're to believe the latest reports of the Audit Bureau of Circulations and ACNeilsen Bookscan. It seems that accounts of the death of print have been somewhat exaggerated.

Check out Australia's main reading habits in the past 12 months:

Books: 4 Ingredients by Kim McCosker and Rachel Bermingham, sold 288,000 copies in 2008 (bringing total sales to 800,000); Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer, 235,000; New Moon, by Stephenie Meyer, 217,000; Tales of Beedle the Bard, by J. K. Rowling, 201,000; Underbelly: The Gangland War, by John Silvester and Andrew Rule, 176,000 copies.

Newspapers: The Sunday Telegraph 653,000 a week; The Sunday Herald-Sun, Melbourne, 607,000; The Sunday Mail, Brisbane, 551,000; The Herald-Sun Monday to Friday 515,000; The Sun-Herald 473,000.

Magazines: Women's Weekly 491,000 a month; Woman's Day 406,000 a week; Better Homes and Gardens 380,000 a month; Readers Digest 345,000 a month; New Idea 320,000 a week.

The Audit Bureau reveals that the sales of Better Homes and Gardens rose 9 per cent in the past 12 months, while Health Smart rose 19 per cent, Women's Health rose 15 per cent, and Men's Health rose 11 per cent. In addition, Top Gear mag was launched, with sales of 85,000 a month, and new Grazia is selling 65,000 a week.

Sounds pretty optimistic, doesn't it? Well, to be completely honest, there's more bad news than good on the literacy front. Over the past five years total newspaper sales have been declining at the rate of two per cent a year, and magazine sales at the rate of six per cent. In the past 12 months, capital city newspapers lost 193,000 regular buyers, and magazines lost 561,000 regular buyers.

The biggest losers are the weekly scandal sheets (NW is down 16 per cent and New Idea is down 15 per cent) and the lads mags (FHM is down 24 per cent and Ralph is down 22 per cent). It seems we're no longer interested in gossip and cleavages. Or we've found a more consistent source of titillation.

Just for comparison, here's the latest data I can find on Australia's internet usage. A Roy Morgan Single Source survey conducted in the second half of 2008 found these were the websites most visited by Australians: Google Search, with 11.98 million visitors a month (up 12 per cent in a year); Ninemsn 8.33 million (up 9 per cent); Telstra Bigpond 5.68 million (up 16 per cent); Yahoo!7 4.42m (up 14); Fairfax Digital 4.03m (up 11).

Should literacy-lovers panic? Of course not. If the answer to the question "What do Australians mainly read?" turns out to be Google, that sounds quite a bit better than the answer I'd have given ten years ago, which would have been "the gossip weeklies".

When they use Google, Australians are seeking the answer to a question -- an admirable process that used to be called scholarship. It involves a more active form of reading than 4 Ingredients or Better Homes and Gardens or the mating habits of Lindsay Lohan. Who knew we had become such serious souls?

Is print dying, and if so, does it matter? Tell us at Comments

• by David Dale at 12:44 PM
• Comments (48)

The Who We Are update: Week 10

To learn why Australia is losing its virginity again, go to The Tribal Mind.

To find out what, how and whether Australians read, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 8 am Monday
Channel Seven easily won the first "normal" week of the ratings year, averaging 30.0 per cent of the prime time audience, to Nine's 27.0 (Ten 21.7 thanks to NCIS and SYTYCDA, ABC 15.4, thanks to Spicks and Specks, and SBS 5.5, thanks to Top Gear).

This is likely to be the pattern for the first half. Nine is already so resigned to losing that it does not even quote the "total people" results in its weekly release, restricting itself to narrower audience bands such as 16-39 and 25-54, where it does better.

This was Pay TV's acount of itself for the week: "The Australian cricket team's tour of South Africa proved popular this week with Friday night's live coverage of the second test, Live: Cricket: Test RSA v Aus Day 1 S2, watched by 355,000 viewers (the second highest audience ever for cricket on subscription TV). In other sport, Live: AFL: NAB Cup Carlton v Hawthorn was seen by 225,000 people, the Socceroos' efforts to compete in the next Asian Football Cup were viewed by 198,000 people in Live: Football: AFC Asian Cup Qualifiers Aust v Kuwait and the Rugby rivalry between NSW & Queensland drew 145,000 people to Friday night's match Live: Rugby Union: S14 Waratahs v Reds (all on FOX Sports).

"In entertainment programming, The Simpsons on FOX8 on Saturday morning was watched by 140,000 people, Family Guy (also on FOX8) on Tuesday night was seen by 116,000 and TV1's broadcast of NCIS on Sunday night was viewed by 106,000 people. In week 10, for the third week in a row, subscription TV was the number one source of television across Australia. STV channels accounted for 24.7% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight,"

What Australia watched, week ending March 7
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES Nine 2,234,000 720,000 739,000 365,000 197,000 214,000
2 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,875,000 547,000 621,000 297,000 175,000 235,000
3 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,641,000 415,000 570,000 285,000 151,000 221,000
4 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,546,000 416,000 484,000 291,000 142,000 214,000
5 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,514,000 391,000 450,000 294,000 175,000 204,000
6 BORDER SECURITY Seven 1,490,000 397,000 479,000 310,000 141,000 164,000
7 NCIS Ten 1,480,000 445,000 397,000 298,000 162,000 178,000
8 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,473,000 368,000 432,000 338,000 148,000 186,000
9 CUSTOMS Nine 1,374,000 427,000 390,000 254,000 144,000 158,000
10 CRIMINAL MINDS Seven 1,361,000 359,000 396,000 261,000 156,000 188,000
11 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,343,000 329,000 459,000 237,000 157,000 162,000
12 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,341,000 330,000 396,000 274,000 149,000 192,000
13 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,335,000 397,000 376,000 258,000 138,000 165,000
14 TRIPLE ZERO HEROES Seven 1,320,000 331,000 407,000 296,000 133,000 153,000
15 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA Ten 1,296,000 384,000 460,000 250,000 103,000 99,000
16 NCIS RPT Ten 1,270,000 371,000 360,000 236,000 149,000 153,000
17 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,267,000 359,000 326,000 284,000 146,000 152,000
18 CITY HOMICIDE Seven 1,253,000 315,000 397,000 253,000 130,000 157,000
Continued here.

• by David Dale at 09:03 AM
• Comments (83)

The Who We Are update: Week 9

To find out what, how and whether Australians read, go to Who We Are.

To nominate the most annoying, embarrassing and underrated people or programs for this year's Bogie awards, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
Despite having the most watched series and the most successful Oscars broadcast in years, Channel Nine could not win the week. This seems likely to be the pattern for the first half of 2009: Seven averaged 28.5 per cent of the prime time audience, while Nine got 27.9, Ten 21.3 (thanks to NCIS, SYTYCDA and LTM), ABC 16.1 (thanks mainly to Spicks and Specks, with The Gruen Transfer bound to boost the numbers from mid-March) and SBS 6.1 (a rise due almost entirely to Top Gear, which seems to have stolen viewers from Underbelly by going half an hour longer than usual).

Is this column silly enough to predict the year, only two weeks into "official" ratings? You bet we are. Seven to win, with slightly reduced audience share, Nine up slightly, Ten the same, ABC down slightly, SBS the same.

And of course, Pay TV will be up considerably, mainly due to sport. This was Pay's account of itself for last week: "For the second week running, subscription TV was the number one source of TV viewing across Australia. In week 9, 2009 STV channels accounted for 24.2% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, was 21.9% of all regional viewing and 61.2% of all viewing in subscription TV homes. This week in particular saw an abundance of high quality sporting events on subscription TV as the summer seasons finished and the winter competitions commenced.

"Live: Cricket: Test RSA v Aus Session 2 was watched by 307,000 viewers on Saturday night; 246,000 viewers watched Melbourne Victory prevail over Adelaide FC in Live: Football: A-League Grand Final and 172,000 watched the thrilling conclusion of the domestic one day cricket as Queensland beat Victoria in Live: Cricket: Ford Ranger Cup Final. With the commencement of the winter football codes, Live: AFL: NAB Cup Sydney v Port Adel was watched by 154,000 people; 106,000 subscribers watched the Rabitohs beat St. George in their traditional season opener Live: Rugby League: Charity Shield and 100,000 watched the Waratahs win their third game on the trot in Live: Rugby Union: S14 W'tahs v H'land. In entertainment programming, The Simpsons on Saturday morning was watched by 156,000 people, and M*A*S*H on Tuesday night was seen by 104,000."

What Australia watched, week ending February 28
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES Nine 2,334,000 783,000 722,000 373,000 214,000 242,000
2 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,839,000 566,000 597,000 309,000 165,000 202,000
3 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,635,000 475,000 505,000 282,000 171,000 202,000
4 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,507,000 422,000 457,000 278,000 165,000 185,000
5 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,440,000 383,000 409,000 278,000 170,000 200,000
6 NCIS Ten 1,388,000 413,000 356,000 295,000 155,000 168,000
7 BORDER SECURITY Seven 1,384,000 376,000 457,000 268,000 126,000 157,000
8 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,370,000 397,000 420,000 257,000 139,000 157,000
9 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,365,000 366,000 392,000 255,000 151,000 201,000
10 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,337,000 344,000 373,000 286,000 142,000 193,000
11 CRIMINAL MINDS Seven 1,333,000 364,000 396,000 261,000 143,000 169,000
12 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA Ten 1,315,000 398,000 414,000 257,000 105,000 142,000
13 CUSTOMS Nine 1,313,000 395,000 386,000 263,000 118,000 151,000
14 60 MINUTES Nine 1,289,000 354,000 383,000 267,000 139,000 145,000

• by David Dale at 10:37 AM
• Comments (51)

WHO WE ARE: The loved ones

To nominate people or programs for this year's Bogie awards, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 22/2/2009
IT'S A COMPLIMENT to the good taste of Australians that, when polled on the people they like best, they agree on this top ten:

1. Hugh Jackman
2 Andrew Denton
3 Jennifer Hawkins
4 Ernie Dingo
5 Dave Hughes
6 Magda Szubanski
7 Glenn Robbins
8 Hamish Blake
9 John Clarke
10 Shane Bourne.

Those results emerged last November when an organization called Audience Development Australia showed 600 photos to a sample of 2000 adults in Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane, and asked them to say who they recognised and how much they liked them on a scale from 0 to 4. The research, called the Q Scores, is bought by television networks who want to know if they are paying their personalities too little or too much.

You'd be tempted to conclude that the qualities Australians value in a public figure, apart from pleasant looks, are intelligence, irreverence, curiosity, independence, enthusiasm, straightforwardness, and a capacity for self-mockery.

Hugh Jackman displayed most of those qualities when he hosted the Oscars.

Perhaps you are dubious about using one survey as an indicator of national values. Is a sample of 2000 people on the east coast enough to reveal the attitudes of "real Australia"? As it happens, there is support for the Q Scores from another survey, conducted on a different group of 1000 Australians at the end of last year by UMR Research.

They were shown a list and asked this question: "On a scale of 0 to 10, where 0 is strongly negative and 10 is strongly positive, please indicate how you feel about each of the following people." They also had the option to tick "never heard of".

In the "UMR Celebrity Report Card", these personalities were rated most positively: 1 Hugh Jackman; 2 Geoffrey Rush; 3 Cate Blanchett; 4 Andrew Denton; 5 Eric Bana.

The least-liked personalities (in order of negativity) were: 1 Kyle Sandilands; 2 Lara Bingle; 3 Sophie Monk; 4 Paul Hogan; 5 Bert Newton.

Kyle Sandilands scored 50 per cent negative and 18 per cent "never heard of", while Bert Newton scored 36 per cent negative and 2 per cent "never heard of". This is sad news for Bert, who has suffered a total turnaround in five years. When the Q Scores survey was conducted in 2004, these people were the nation's most recognized and most liked: 1 Magda Szubanski; 2 Andrew Denton; 3 Ernie Dingo; 4 Rove McManus; 5 John Wood; 6 Bert Newton; 7 Jamie Durie; 8 John Clarke; 9 Lisa McCune; 10 Sigrid Thornton.

Back then, Bert Newton possessed the qualities his compatriots admire. Now he seems to have overstayed his welcome, joining Sandilands and Hogan in that miserable category which Australians tend to label "Celebrities Who Are Up Themselves".

Meanwhile, four people have remained high in our estimation throughout the decade: Denton, Szubanski, Dingo and Clarke. That's the kind of revelation that makes me feel proud to be Australian.

Tell us at Comments if you agree that Australians have good taste.

• by David Dale at 04:12 PM
• Comments (18)

The Who We Are update: Week 8

To nominate people or programs for this year's Bogie awards, go to The Tribal Mind.
To find out who Australians like the best, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 8am Monday
It's got to be a bad omen for Channel Nine. In a week when it had the top program, with record ratings, it was nevertheless beaten by Channel Seven. The average prime time audience shares went like this: Seven 29.2 per cent; Nine 27.5; Ten 21.5; ABC 16.2; SBS 5.4. Nine just can't get past Seven's Tuesday punch.

Pay TV gave this account of itself for the week: "Subscription TV was the number one source of TV viewing across Australia in week 8 of 2009. STV channels accounted for 23.7% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, was 22.1% of all regional viewing and 60.1% of all viewing in subscription TV homes, more than any other network in all of those markets. In live sport this week, Live: Rugby Union: S14 Waratahs v Chiefs on FOX Sports drew 167,000 viewers, Live: AFL: NAB Cup Hawthorn v Melbourne was watched by 142,000 people and the preliminary final of the A-League competition, Live: Football: A-League PF Adel v Qld, was seen by 124,000 subscribers. In entertainment programming, Family Guy on FOX8 was watched by 153,000 people and NCIS on TV1 was watched by 135,000 people. In addition, the premiere of the Will Smith movie I Am Legend on Movie One drew 128,000 people, and 106,000 people watched Hannah Montana on Disney Channel."

What Australia watched, week ending February 21
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES Nine 2,476,000 823,000 778,000 369,000 241,000 265,000
2 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,740,000 557,000 514,000 293,000 163,000 213,000
3 TWENTY/20 - AUSTRALIA V NEW ZEALAND Nine 1,626,000 482,000 487,000 320,000 184,000 153,000
4 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,617,000 434,000 427,000 422,000 154,000 180,000
5 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,592,000 462,000 525,000 303,000 131,000 172,000
6 BORDER SECURITY Seven 1,525,000 376,000 505,000 332,000 132,000 180,000
7 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,497,000 401,000 422,000 300,000 165,000 209,000
8 CUSTOMS Nine 1,478,000 469,000 426,000 258,000 153,000 172,000
9 TRIPLE ZERO HEROES Seven 1,453,000 388,000 466,000 294,000 113,000 191,000
10 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,417,000 382,000 434,000 285,000 154,000 163,000
11 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,389,000 368,000 450,000 282,000 114,000 175,000
12 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA Ten 1,372,000 412,000 460,000 244,000 127,000 129,000
13 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,371,000 393,000 366,000 318,000 133,000 160,000

• by David Dale at 09:45 AM
• Comments (54)

WHO WE ARE: Get together, one more time

To join the postmortem on Australia, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 15/2/2008
So the Gen Xers hate the Boomers because the Boomers won't hand over their jobs, and the Boomers hate Gen Y because they won't stick at anything for more than two years. The iGens hate Boomers, Xers and Ys because they ruined the planet, and the Xers hate the iGens because they want everything right away, without working for it, and don't even bother to use spellcheck.

It's amazing that civil war didn't break out long ago in this country, if we're to judge by the rage provoked by last week's column, which discussed how the Bureau of Statistics is using the term "iGeneration" for people born after 1986. Reading the responses, I was reminded of this song:

Five to one, baby, one in five.
No one here gets out alive.
The old get older and the young get stronger.
May take a week and it may take longer.
They got the guns but we got the numbers.
Gonna win, yeah, we're takin' over.
(Go here to hear it)

Five to One was the anthem of the Baby Boomers, written by The Doors in 1968 in response to statistics showing that people aged under 40 outnumbered the oldies five to one.

Now, of course, it's the boomers who are over 40, and who have the guns. But they are outnumbered by Generation X, Generation Y and the iGeneration -- not quite five to one, but easily two to one. Here's how the Bureau divides the nation:

Generation XY (born between 1966 and 1986): There are 5.5 million of them, of whom 49 per cent live with a romantic partner and 16 per cent live with their parents; 25 per cent have a university degree; 56 per cent describe themselves as Christians; and 5 per cent are unemployed (compared with 3 per cent of boomers). The bureau says they were "the first generation to experience increased rates of parental separation and divorce. They are also regarded as having fewer opportunities than their baby boomer predecessors, being the first to experience user-pays higher education and job insecurity. When Generation X and Y were entering the workforce, unemployment levels were high."

The iGen (born after 1986): There are 5.3 million of them. Go here to learn more.

The boomers (born between 1946 and 1966): There are 5.5 million of them, of whom 68 per cent are living with a romantic partner; and 67 per cent describe themselves as Christians. The bureau says: "As the first group to be raised with televisions in their homes, boomers were exposed to world events including the Cold War, the Viet Nam war, the sexual revolution, peace movements and the birth of rock and roll. They are considered more liberal minded than Australia's older generations." They were once called The Me Generation, because they were perceived to be self-indulgent, but apparently, the ballroom days are over.

The Lucky Generation (1926-1946): There are 2.9 million of them, of whom 61 per cent are living with a romantic partner; 36 per cent were born overseas and 69 per cent are "not in the labour force". The bureau calls them lucky because "as young adults they experienced full employment and prosperity during the post World War II economic boom."

The oldest (born before 1926): There are 727,000 of them, of whom 39 per cent left school at year 8 or below (compared with 2 per cent of Gen X); 33 per cent are living alone; 17 per cent are in nursing homes; and 80 per cent are Christian.

When the civil war comes, which group will emerge the winner? Tell us at Comments

• by David Dale at 06:11 AM
• Comments (28)

WHO WE ARE: From Me to i

To learn why Jelena Dokic should play Meryl Streep in her biopic, and vice versa, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 8/2/2009
At last, there's a clever new tool for analysing our society - and it has official sanction.

Remember the golden age (the 80s and 90s) when the pop sociologists seemed to come up with a new label every week - first they talked about
Baby boomers (people born between the end of World War Two and the start of the Vietnam War), then
Yuppies (Young Upwardly-mobile Professionals),
DINKS (Double income No Kids),
Sitcoms (Single Income Two Children Oppressive Mortgage),
SKINs (parents who Spend the Kids' Inheritance Now) and, best of all,
Generation X, a term invented in 1991 by the novelist Douglas Coupland to cover people born between 1965 and 1976, who supposedly felt overshadowed by the boomers.
Then the labellers ran out of imagination. People a bit younger than Generation X were lazily called Generation Y, and we were facing the prospect of Generation Z for those who came after them. But the Bureau of Statistics has fixed that. In its latest report, it has laid down all the social labels we need, and for people born between 1986 and 2006, it has created the term The iGeneration.

This clarification comes just in time. A lot of nonsense is being written in the name of demographic dissection. For example, in a book called Please Just F* off ... It's our turn now, the Australian author Ryan Heath offers these generationalisations:

"Boomers are particularly skilled at whining and slutting their way into society's spotlight ... It's Boomer suburbanites, your Kath and your Kel, who are the majority. They are usually conservative, materialistic and insular ...

"Generation X was a label for drifters with an embittered but denied sense of entitlement and removed from any actual demographic trend ...

"Whereas Boomers wallow in remembrance of the good ol' days, [Generation Y] live change everyday, and rather like it ... My generation is populated by strong and professional individuals with resilience, ideas and critical capabilities ... We are flexible, resilient and can multi-task well. [But] We are often so busy being Yeppies (Young Experimenting Perfection Seekers) -- unable to commit to love or a career because we can never meet our unreasonable expectations".

Sound like anybody you know? The Bureau takes a different approach. Instead of fomenting generational warfare, it uses data from the 2006 census to divide us into five categories: 1 The Oldest Australians (born before 1926); 2 The Lucky Generation (born between 1926 and 1946); 2 Baby Boomers (1946-1966); 4 Generation X and Y (1966-1986); and 5 The iGeneration (born after 1986).

The Bureau says the last group is the most technological and the least spiritual of all the five, which has significant implications for the future shape of society: "They take computers and the internet and a host of electronic consumables, such as DVDs, mobile phones and MP3 players, for granted," says the Bureau. "In 2006, 80 per cent of the youngest generation had access to the internet at home ... The iGeneration, along with Generation X and Y, are the most secular generations, with almost one in four reporting no religion." By comparison, only 9 per cent of the over 60s and 17 per cent of the 40-60s say they follow no faith (go here to read the bureau's report).

So our society is about to be taken over by a generation of geeky heathens.

We'll continue this discussion next week, with full analysis of Boomers, Xers, Luckies and iGens. In the meantime, go to Comments to tell us if you think the Bureau has got it right

• by David Dale at 03:18 AM
• Comments (59)

WHO WE ARE: The national pick-me-up

To take the quiz on how well you understand Australia's tastes in entertainment, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 1/2/2009
Adopting and adapting: That's Australia's specialty. We may not initiate many big ideas that change the world, but we're brilliant at borrowing small ideas and making them our own - for example, the bikini, barbecues, Vegemite, thongs and the poker machine. In that context, I want to examine this question today: what is Australian's national dish?

Last year this column answered the question with spaghetti bolognese, which Australians make at home as often they order it when they're out. But now I want to put up a different candidate: tiramisu.

I spent a week in Paris just after Christmas, and I was fascinated to observe that tiramisu is the latest craze there. It's on the dessert menu of every modest-priced restaurant (along with the Paris cliches of creme caramel and rice pudding), and a packaged version is prominently displayed in every supermarket under the title "Tiramisu Italien". So the culinary capital of the world has finally discovered a dish that Australians had the good taste to embrace nearly 30 years ago.

Yes, it's another Aussie claim to fame: In its relentless conquest of the planet, tiramisu reached us first. It was brought here in 1977 by Giuseppe Zuzza, an immigrant from north east Italy. He had been lucky enough to be working as a waiter in the town of Treviso (near Venice) -- the area where tiramisu was invented in 1972 as a way of using up old coffee

(Some scholars claim the dish was actually invented in the town of Trieste in the 1950s, and was only given its name -- which translates as "pick me up" -- in Treviso. That's uncannily similar to the dispute between Australia and New Zealand over the origins of the pavlova, which was invented there and named here.)

Giuseppe Zuzza first served it in a Sydney restaurant called Darcy's, and it became his signature dish when he opened his own place, The Mixing Pot in the Sydney suburb of Glebe, in 1980. Customers responded instantly to the layers of coffee-soaked sponge covered with mascarpone, other restaurants rushed to copy it, and the fad began.

Tiramisu's next victim was America. In 1993, screenwriter Nora Ephron used it as a sociological signifier in the movie Sleepless in Seattle. Tom Hanks plays a widower about to go on a date for the first time in 13 years.

His friend, played by Rob Reiner, tells him dating is now a different process from when he was last "out there" because, for example, the woman will pay for her own meal, and in the unlikely event they end up having sex, he'll have to use a condom. And, of course, there is now tiramisu ...

"Hanks: What is tiramisu? Reiner: You'll find out. Hanks: Well, what is it? Reiner: You'll see! Hanks: You better tell me. Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her and I'm not gonna know what it is."

Millions of Australians had no trouble getting the joke because we'd been doing it to each other for 13 years by then. And it was another 15 years before the Parisians got around to sharing our pleasure.

If tiramisu symbolises the way Australian foodies are decades ahead of the French, then I'd say it -- along with Giusepe Zuzza -- is a prime candidate for national recognition. What do you think?

Go to Comments to tell us what should be the national dish

• by David Dale at 11:54 AM
• Comments (42)

The Who We Are update: Week 7

This week of the blog is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer immediate. For the latest discussion of Australia's popular culture, go here.
To discuss if Gen X and Y can overcome the boomers, go to Who We Are.
To join the postmortem on Australia, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 9 am Monday
It was a week of guns, breasts, balls and ashes, with Nine dominating on the first three and Seven dominating on the last. Underbelly 2 gave Nine such a commanding lead on Monday, backed up by the cricket, that Seven could not recover, despite strong bushfire coverage.

Nine won the first official ratings week with 31.6 per cent of the prime time audience (Seven 27.5, Ten 20.4, ABC 15.5, SBS 5.0). The ABC is in a slump, with no programs in the top 30 and its million-plus efforts confined to Spicks and Specks and The 7.30 Report. SBS did best with Top Gear (808,000), Mythbusters (473,000), Long Way Down (383,000) and Rockwiz (359,000).

Ten would be disappointed with The Biggest Loser, but delighted with the continuing success of its new 9.30pm shows Lie To Me and Life on Mars. Are brisk three-word titles the new black in television?

The most watched shows on Pay TV last week included Soccer World Cup Qualifier Japan v Aus (Fox Sports 3) 273,000; The Simpsons (Fox 8) 204,000; NCIS (TV1) 174,000; and Bushfires live coverage (Sky news) 158,000.

What Australia watched, week ending February 14
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES - EPISODE 1 Nine 2,582,000 831,000 871,000 414,000 208,000 259,000
2 UNDERBELLYmEPISODE 2 Nine 2,397,000 767,000 818,000 362,000 215,000 236,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUNDAY Seven 1,896,000 530,000 518,000 389,000 176,000 283,000
4 NINE NEWS - SUNDAY Nine 1,896,000 568,000 774,000 320,000 234,000
5 BORDER SECURITY Seven 1,786,000 470,000 528,000 398,000 151,000 241,000
6 TRIPLE ZERO HEROES Seven 1,725,000 481,000 536,000 331,000 148,000 228,000
7 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,688,000 527,000 536,000 278,000 151,000 196,000
8 CUSTOMS Nine 1,671,000 519,000 543,000 314,000 128,000 167,000
9 SEVEN NEWS - EXTENDED BUSHFIRE EDITION Seven 1,637,000 431,000 442,000 351,000 194,000 219,000
10 SUNDAY NIGHT Seven 1,634,000 434,000 472,000 378,000 132,000 218,000
11 SEVEN NEWS - MON-FRI Seven 1,608,000 442,000 437,000 317,000 181,000 231,000
12 ONE DAY CRICKET - ANZ GAME 3 PRIMETIME Nine 1,567,000 479,000 514,000 276,000 176,000 121,000
13 SEVEN NEWS - EXTENDED BUSHFIRE EDITION Seven 1,539,000 394,000 428,000 308,000 171,000 238,000
14 NCIS Ten 1,457,000 358,000 460,000 283,000 159,000 197,000
15 ONE DAY CRICKET GAME 4 PRIMETIME Nine 1,444,000 468,000 439,000 293,000 133,000 112,000

• by David Dale at 12:33 AM
• Comments (85)

WHO WE ARE: Can the dingo lie down with the octopus?

To take the quiz on how well you understand Australia's tastes, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 25/1/2009
There is no law that compels a country to have native animals on its coat of arms. A lion and a unicorn support the shield of the United Kingdom, and at least one of those never roamed the forests of Albion, despite what Harry Potter might say.

The lion is also the emblem of Germany and India. Thailand and Indonesia display a creature called a garuda (half man, half eagle). America calls its coat of arms "a great seal", although it features a great eagle (also on Russia's). Canada, which you'd expect to feature a seal (clubbed), has simply copied Britain -- with even less historical claim on the lion and the unicorn.

So those who oppose the addition of a dingo to Australia's coat of arms are making no point at all when they argue that the "native dog" arrived here as a pet only a few thousand years ago.

Last week this column pointed out that the dingo has given Australia an international reputation, what with all the references in popular culture to the eating of babies. In return, I argued, we should honour it, perhaps curled up in front of our shield, at the feet of the roo and the emu.

(Digression: Such a configuration would permit this column's other campaign - to have an octopus sitting on top of the shield, with arms extended to cuddle both the roo and the emu. This would emphasise our dependence on the ocean, since 80 per cent of Australians live within 50 km of it, as well as recent changes in our eating habits, whereby a food source ignored by the English immigrants is now chilli-coated and char-grilled by pony-tailed chefs across the land. For the octopus case, go to Forewarned is eight-armed).

Some readers found the whole idea of dingo-recognition offensive. S. McCarthy wrote: "What a lot of rot. National icon, how about national pest? Do you realise how much damage dogs cause the agricultural industry? Get a grip."

And Oocy argued: "Dingos are Asian water dogs, brought here from South East Asian islands only 5 thousand years ago. They did not evolve here, like the platypus, echidna, kangaroo and other endemic species. So the dingo could be a wholly inappropriate icon for Australia. Of course, the dingo could also be the perfect icon for modern, multicultural Australia, where people from all over the world have moved to our country and are welcome to call it home."

And Nic Papalia made this point: "The dingo is the one animal that keeps everything balanced in the ecosystem. It is our top land predator. When the dingo is removed because of ignorance ... there is a massive problem with fox, cat, goat and pig numbers soaring out of control. Kangaroo numbers skyrocket and defoliation becomes a problem. Australians must become more aware and educated if we are to save this Iconic species, so our future generations will see the real live dingo and not just a stuffed relic in a museum next to the thylacine."

That suggests a different take on the coat of arms -- a Tasmanian tiger, as a warning to treat our wildlife better in future. What do you think should be there? Go to Comments.

• by David Dale at 03:56 PM
• Comments (17)

The Who We Are update: Week 6

This week of the blog is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest on Australian popular culture, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss whether spag bol, pad Thai or tiramisu should be our national dish, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 9am Monday
The Pay TV industry has its own unique way of doing mathematics. It likes to lump together all of its stations (more than 80 of them) and count the total as one network, which it then compares with each of the free to air networks. This enables it to put out a statement like this, which arrived today:

"For the second year running, subscription TV had more viewers in summer than any other network. During the ten week period from November 30, 2008 to February 7, 2009, STV was the number one source of television, with 61.3% of all viewing in STV homes (6am-12mn), 24.8% of metropolitan viewing and 22.2% of regional viewing.

"In week 06, 2009, The Simpsons was watched by 151,000 viewers on Sunday morning, NCIS achieved its largest audience ever with 143,000 people on Sunday night and the American Idol Hollywood Show was watched by 112,000 viewers on Thursday night. The movie The Big Country was watched by 106,000 viewers, The Secret Millionaire achieved a record audience with 106,000 viewers and Hannah Montana was seen by 100,000 viewers. In sport, Live: Football: A-League S Final Leg 1 was watched by 122,000 people and Cricket: World Series Classics was watched by 103,000 people."

Now here's what the 73 per cent of Australians who do not subscribe to Pay TV were watching last week:

What Australia watched, week ending February 7
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 TENNIS: 2009 AUST OPEN - MEN'S FINAL Seven 2,246,000 733,000 798,000 329,000 194,000 192,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 2,008,000 493,000 684,000 367,000 239,000 226,000
3 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,874,000 589,000 586,000 306,000 159,000 233,000
4 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,654,000 437,000 528,000 309,000 155,000 225,000
5 TENNIS: 2009 AUST OPEN - MEN'S FINAL INTRODUCTION Seven 1,622,000 497,000 574,000 264,000 134,000 153,000
6 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,552,000 392,000 569,000 276,000 164,000 149,000
7 LIE TO ME Ten 1,504,000 354,000 516,000 275,000 170,000 190,000
8 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,485,000 403,000 391,000 298,000 176,000 215,000
9 NCIS Ten 1,473,000 373,000 457,000 278,000 148,000 217,000
10 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,453,000 383,000 391,000 300,000 164,000 215,000
11 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,436,000 382,000 421,000 275,000 149,000 209,000
12 THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA Ten 1,414,000 381,000 446,000 258,000 144,000 185,000
13 DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Seven 1,374,000 414,000 442,000 237,000 136,000 146,000
14 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,313,000 375,000 388,000 269,000 121,000 160,000
15 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA - AUDITION 1 Ten 1,306,000 349,000 404,000 264,000 120,000 168,000

• by David Dale at 08:55 AM
• Comments (93)

The Who We Are update: to January 31

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For the latest discussion on Australia's popular culture, go here.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday February 1
On Pay TV last week, the most watched shows were the final of America's Next Top Model (239,000); The Simpsons (211,000); Family Guy (207,000); American Idol Auditions (173,000) and Two and a Half Men (169,000). One of the great mysteries of Australian popular culture: Why would people waste viewing opportunities for which they have paid on a show which is readily available (some would say excessively available) on free-to-air TV?

What Australia watched, week ending January 31
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 TENNIS: 2009 AUST OPEN - DAY 9 NIGHT SESSION Seven 2,316,000 761,000 838,000 345,000 186,000 186,000
2 TENNIS: 2009 AUST OPEN - DAY 7 NIGHT SESSION Seven 1,654,000 473,000 561,000 303,000 152,000 164,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,646,000 430,000 453,000 390,000 164,000 209,000
4 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,641,000 405,000 525,000 309,000 180,000 221,000
5 TENNIS: 2009 AUST OPEN - DAY 11 NIGHT SESSION Seven 1,587,000 452,000 615,000 236,000 137,000 146,000
6 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,503,000 387,000 453,000 295,000 165,000 204,000
7 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,407,000 336,000 415,000 266,000 173,000 217,000
8 TENNIS: 2009 AUST OPEN - DAY 10 NIGHT SESSION Seven 1,326,000 405,000 496,000 190,000 121,000 115,000
9 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,243,000 365,000 344,000 232,000 136,000 166,000
10 NINE NEWS Nine 1,240,000 332,000 423,000 241,000 150,000 94,000
11 TENNIS: 2009 AUST OPEN - DAY 12 NIGHT SESSION Seven 1,223,000 361,000 414,000 212,000 123,000 113,000
12 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,221,000 319,000 458,000 219,000 149,000 75,000
13 ONE DAY CRICKET - AUSTRALIA V SOUTH AFRICA GAME 4 SESSION 2 Nine 1,142,000 393,000 347,000 167,000 127,000 108,000
14 HOT PROPERTY Seven 1,131,000 266,000 290,000 284,000 128,000 164,000

• by David Dale at 08:05 AM
• Comments (60)

WHO WE ARE: Going to the dog

For a preview of the movies and TV shows worth escaping to in 2009, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 18/1/2009
In the imagination of the world, what is the most powerful idea about Australia? I'm not talking about scenery, or fauna, or personalities. We can assume the world knows about kangaroos and Uluru and Nicole Kidman and the shrimps on Paul Hogan's barbie. But the world's response to that sort of stuff is never more than slight amusement.

I'm talking about one notion that intrigues them, excites them, stimulates their sense of wonder, makes Australia seem like a place of thrilling menace. On the principle that two sightings could be a coincidence, three sightings signifies a trend, and four sightings is a phenomenon, what do we make of these five observations:

1. In the recent film Tropic Thunder, Robert Downey Jr plays Kirk Lazarus, an Australian actor who has been cast as a black American in a war movie. The only genuinely black actor in the cast, Alpa Chino, refers to him contemptuously as "Crocodile Dundee" ...

"Lazarus: Pump your brakes, kid. That man is a national treasure.
Chino: I just wanted to throw another shrimp on your barbie.
Lazarus: That s--- ain't funny.
Chino: I'm just f---ing with you, Kangaroo Jack! I'm sorry a dingo ate your baby.
Lazarus: You know that's a true story? Lady lost her kid."

2. In an episode of the cult TV cartoon series Family Guy, the talking dog Brian and the preternaturally articulate infant Stewie host a radio show called "Dingo and the Baby".

3. In the cult vampire series Buffy, a character called Daniel Osbourne, nicknamed Oz, leads a band called Dingoes Ate My Baby.

4. In the cult New York sitcom, Seinfield, the character Elaine suggests to a woman who can't find her fiancee at a party: "Maybe the dingo ate your baby".

5. In his latest book When You Are Engulfed in Flames, the American columnist David Sedaris describes a 2007 visit to Australia to attend a conference (probably the Sydney Writers Festival). He says he had four hours of spare time on a Saturday morning and decided to visit Taronga Zoo to see a dingo.

"I never saw that Meryl Streep movie, and as a result the creature was a complete mystery to me. Were someone to say 'I left my window open and a dingo flew in', I would have believed it and if he said 'Dingoes! Our pond is completely overrun with them', I would have believed that as well. Two legged, four legged, finned or feathered: I simply had no idea, which was exciting, actually, a rarity in the age of 24 hours nature channels."

Finally Sedaris and his friend reach the dingo pen, where Sedaris covers his face to prolong the suspense: "I saw some trees - and a tail - and then I couldn't stand it any more and dropped my hands. 'Why, they look just like dogs,' I said. 'Are you sure we're in the right place?'"

All this suggests Australia is not making enough of a national asset. To discuss if we should start a campaign to have the dingo included on the coat of arms, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 08:04 PM
• Comments (43)

WHO WE ARE: Gassy gamblers and boozy bodgies

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 11/1/2009
"MY MUM used to talk about bodgies and widgies -- what are they?" This was a question sent in recently to the ABC TV series Can We Help. The show's producers phoned the author of this column in search of an answer, making me wonder if they were making an assumption about my age (since bodgies and widgies vanished from our land about the time we started buying Beatles records).

But the producers added some other questions which made me wonder if they considered me some sort of expert (and if so, on what?). The other questions went like this:
1. "How do we compare to other countries with our greenhouse gas emissions?"
2. "Where did AFL draw its origins from?"
3. "Compared to other nations, are Australians big gamblers?" and
4. "Do you think there is an upcoming change in the beerdrinking culture of Australians?"

Readers were kind enough to advise me on other questions in last week's column, so I'm looking forward to your input on these intended answers:

1. Greenhouse? We are shockers. Because we use coal for 80 per cent of our electricity, Australia produces about 1.5 per cent of the world's greenhouse gases. Per capita, we are the fourth highest emitter of nasty fumes in the developed world (behind Turkey, Spain, and Portugal).

2. AFL? It started in Melbourne in the 1850s as a way of keeping cricketers fit during the winter, and was an adaptation of English rugby. Until the 1870s, the rules kept changing and the first "official" game, between Scotch College and Melbourne Church of England Grammar School, had 40 players on each side and lasted three days.

3. Gambling? On average, every Australian loses $1,000 a year on poker machines, horse racing, lotteries, casinos and other bits of risky business. Finding comparable figures for other Western countries in difficult, but in 2004 it was estimated that American gamblers lose $US 73 billion a year, Britons lose $US 75 bn a year, and Australians lose $US 12 bn a year. Considering the relative populations, that makes us the biggest losers.

4. Beer? Consumption is declining while wine consumption is growing, but each Australian over the age of 15 still drinks 106 litres of beer a year (or about 8 glasses a week) compared with 29 litres of wine a year (5 glasses a week). Coffee consumption is growing fastest, and has reached 5 cups a week (compared with one cup of tea).

5. Bodgies and widgies? If you want to know what they looked like, visualise John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John in the final scene of Grease - only less glamorous.

The word "bodgie" originally meant "fake" or "dubious", and referred to the material in suits worn by young men trying to look like gangsters in the late 1940s. The term came to cover any boy following the latest US look, which by the late 1950s involved a leather jacket and hair Brylcreemed to resemble Elvis Presley (later, Bob Hawke's shiny bouffant earned him the nickname "The Silver Bodgie"). The widgie girlfriend wore Capri pants and tight sweaters and danced to the music of Bill Haley on the jukebox. But the bodgie and widgie style vanished around 1964. The boys threw away the grease and grew their hair long and the girls replaced the capri pants with mini skirts.

Am I somewhere near the truth in any of this? If you'd like to amplify or correct these impressions, go to Comments.

• by David Dale at 04:34 PM
• Comments (6)

WHO WE ARE: What Australians do best

To learn how Australians amused themselves during the New Year break, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 4/1/2009
The producers of the ABC TV series Can We Help are under the impression the author of this column knows something about Australia. I got a flattering phone call the other day asking if I would be willing to go on and attempt to answer questions sent in by viewers. I pointed out that more wisdom resides in the column's readers than in its author, and asked if they'd give me advance warning. They emailed the following list, which I present for your analysis of my intended answers:

1. What are Australians the best in the world at or what do we think we are the best at?

Well, we're certainly not the best at cricket, though we used to be. Australians fluctuate between the cultural cringe, whereby we assume the Americans and the British do everything better than we do, and the cultural strut, whereby we think we have nothing to learn from any other nation because we produce the world's top models, singers, chefs, sports men and women, directors, winemakers, medical researchers and media magnates.

In fact, the one thing at which we are unchallengeably the best is imitating the accents of other countries, which has enabled an astonishing number of our actors to keep getting work in world movies and television -- Frances O'Connor, Anna Torv, Abbie Cornish, Jesse Spencer, Melissa George, Rose Byrne, Simon Baker, Rachel Griffiths, Cate Blanchett, Hugo Weaving, Miranda Otto, Russell Crowe, Naomi Watts, Anthony LaPaglia, Poppy Montgomery, Teresa Palmer, Hugh Jackman, Rachael Taylor and so on.

And that's not even mentioning Nicole Kidman (because apparently she annoys people). It would be nice to be able to claim Sam Neill and the Conchords, but we'd better leave the Kiwis something.

Americans, by contrast, cannot do Australian accents.

2. We all know what a Bogan is, but where on earth did it come from?

As used these days, the word is roughly synonymous with the US term "trailer trash" and may have originally referred to people who came from west of the Bogan River in central NSW, who were assumed to be crude.

But it could have an earlier derivation, from an old Scottish word for people who live around a bog or swamp. It seems to have been first popularised by Kylie Mole in The Comedy Company in the late 1980s.

3. When did Australia adopt green and gold as its national colours?

The Australian cricket team that toured England in 1899 first wore gumtree green and wattle yellow, and the first time some of our competitors wore green and gold at the Olympics was in 1908. But they weren't officially declared our colours until Bob Hawke in 1984.

4. Who is our greatest music industry person and by what criterion?

If you go by album sales, you'd have to say John Farnham, whose Whispering Jack sold 1.7 million copies and whose Age of Reason sold 800,000.

Close behind in album sales would be Savage Garden, Delta Goodrem and Jimmy Barnes. But Dame Nellie Melba is the only Australian music industry person to be immortalised in a desert and a breakfast (at the Savoy Hotel in London in the 1890s, chef Georges August Escoffier created Peach Melba and Melba Toast).

I'll continue next week with answers about bodgies and widgies, gambling, greenhouse gas emissions, and the origin of AFL. If you'd care to add your wisdom, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 04:31 PM
• Comments (27)

The Who We Are Update: To January 24

The dogs have barked and the caravan has moved on. This fortnight of David Dale's television ratings blog is no longer current. For the latest audience data, go here.
For the movies and TV shows worth looking forward to this year, go to The Tribal Mind.
To discuss why the dingo and the octopus should be on our coat of arms, go to Who We Are.

What Australia watched, Saturday.
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,317,000 411,000 321,000 281,000 136,000 168,000
2 INSIDE QUEEN MARY 2 Seven 1,166,000 366,000 304,000 250,000 116,000 130,000
3 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,121,000 309,000 402,000 233,000 101,000 76,000
4 SEVEN'S TENNIS: 2009 AUST OPEN - DAY 6 NIGHT SESSION Seven 1,091,000 320,000 403,000 177,000 96,000 96,000
5 ABC NEWS-SAT ABC1 757,000 219,000 239,000 123,000 68,000 108,000
6 TEN NEWS AT FIVE SAT Ten 717,000 229,000 160,000 145,000 89,000 94,000
7 THE JACKAL RPT Ten 716,000 206,000 243,000 135,000 68,000 64,000
8 BILLY MADISON RPT Ten 706,000 219,000 192,000 151,000 82,000 62,000
9 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW SUMMER SERIES -RPT Nine 663,000 209,000 200,000 165,000 89,000
10 The BILL ABC1 641,000 163,000 189,000 111,000 76,000 102,000
11 SEVEN'S TENNIS: 2009 AUST OPEN - DAY 6 Seven 602,000 185,000 204,000 99,000 58,000 56,000
13 SUPERMAN III -RPT Nine 551,000 191,000 122,000 123,000 60,000 54,000

• by David Dale at 09:41 AM
• Comments (114)

The Silly Season update: Until January 8

The caravan has moved on. This episode of the blog is no longer current. For the latest media discussion, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

What Australia watched, Thursday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,221,000 310,000 325,000 263,000 133,000 190,000
2 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,093,000 329,000 328,000 257,000 90,000 89,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,070,000 264,000 273,000 230,000 129,000 173,000
4 NINE NEWS Nine 1,000,000 282,000 304,000 229,000 92,000 92,000
5 ABC NEWS ABC1 938,000 312,000 263,000 153,000 109,000 101,000
6 LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT RPT Ten 918,000 254,000 289,000 162,000 124,000 90,000
7 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (R) Seven 896,000 241,000 235,000 215,000 78,000 126,000
8 TEMPTATION Nine 885,000 249,000 267,000 185,000 90,000 93,000
9 EMERGENCY Nine 879,000 186,000 252,000 214,000 104,000 122,000
10 COLD CASE Nine 859,000 218,000 283,000 154,000 97,000 107,000
11 LAW AND ORDER: SVU RPT Ten 830,000 254,000 209,000 163,000 123,000 81,000
13 THE WAITING ROOM Nine 816,000 184,000 255,000 165,000 95,000 116,000
15 SECRET MILLIONAIRE Nine 771,000 184,000 237,000 131,000 90,000 129,000
16 ELI STONE Seven 746,000 193,000 225,000 170,000 64,000 93,000
17 UGLY BETTY - THU Seven 691,000 196,000 205,000 139,000 62,000 89,000
18 EVEREST ER ABC1 660,000 231,000 177,000 122,000 58,000 71,000
23 HEROES Seven 505,000 164,000 155,000 109,000 37,000 41,000
24 WHO KILLED STALIN? ABC1 487,000 176,000 119,000 82,000 43,000 67,000
27 CARLA CAMETTI PD SBS 457,000 197,000 125,000 53,000 31,000 51,000
30 REX IN ROME SBS 378,000 146,000 110,000 49,000 35,000 38,000
31 OUT OF THE BLUE - DAILY Ten 368,000 136,000 90,000 52,000 41,000 48,000
32 THE FLOATING BROTHEL RPT ABC1 364,000 115,000 130,000 48,000 35,000 36,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 10:59 AM
• Comments (173)

WHO WE ARE: Lords of time

To discuss what to name this decade, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 28/12/2008
For most of this decade, most of us had plenty of money, or at least, the illusion of money in the form of credit. What we've been short of has been time, a commodity very hard to borrow. Australians have had to learn to multitask -- to play while we work (surf the net on the boss's dollar) and to combine our pleasures at home (listen to the iPod and send text messages while watching TV and skimming a magazine).

That is the only interpretation we can make of the research just released by the Free TV organisation on how Australians spent their leisure time this year. Otherwise it just does not add up.

Bear in mind that there are 168 hours in a week, of which 112 are available if we get 8 hours sleep a night, and 72 if we deduct time spent at work or school. So check out the amusements of an average Australian in a typical week of 2008:

Watching television: 21 hours and 48 minutes a week. The shows we mostly watched were Packed To The Rafters, Find My Family, Underbelly, City Homicide and The Zoo.

Listening to the radio: 14 hours and 30 minutes a week. In Sydney, the most heard broadcasters were Alan Jones and Ray Hadley on 2GB, and Adam Spencer and Richard Glover on ABC702. Melbourne listened to Neil Mitchell on 3AW and Hamish and Andy on Fox FM.

On the internet: 9 hours and 24 minutes a week. Morgan research reported that in the July to September quarter, 11.98 million Australians (up 12.1 per cent on last year) used Google as a search engine, while 8.33 million visited ninemsn and 4.03 million visited Fairfax Digital.

Reading newspapers (in print): 3 hours and 24 minutes. The best sellers were The Sunday Telegraph, The Herald Sun (Melbourne), The Sunday Mail (Brisbane) and The Sun-Herald. Overall, newspaper sales declined about 2 per cent on 2007, which is not bad for a supposedly dying medium.

Reading magazines: 1 hour and 48 minutes. If any medium is dying, it's mags - especially the weekly scandal sheets, which declined 6 per cent on last year. The best sellers are Womens' Weekly, Woman's Day, New Idea, Readers Digest and Better Homes and Gardens.

Going to the movies: 4 times a year. The most seen were The Dark Knight, Mamma Mia!, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and Sex and the City.

Watching DVDs: Renting 2 a month, buying six a year, mostly Underbelly, Mamma Mia!, Alvin and the Chipmunks and Ratatouille.

Reading books: Yes we're still doing it, but not enough to make a weekly figure. Best sellers included 4 Ingredients and its sequel 4 Ingredients 2 by Kim McCosker and Rachel Bermingam, Twilight and its third sequel Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer, Guinness World Records 2009, and The Brass Verdict by Michael Connelly.

In addition, of course, we played video games, listened to music, updated our Facebooks, pottered in the garden, ate out in restaurants and talked on our 15 million mobiles. All that happened in a year when Australia's birth rate reached a record high. Talk about multitasking.

How do you fit it all in? Tell us at Comments

• by David Dale at 05:58 PM
• Comments (8)

WHO WE ARE: Growing too fast and too furious

To discuss Australia's year at the movies, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 21/12/2008
It may go down in history as the year we started to wonder if we were going nuts. A survey by the Bureau of Statistics revealed that 45 per cent of Australian adults -- 7.3 million of us -- have suffered a mental disorder at some point in their lives and 20 per cent, or 3.2 million, have experienced a mental disorder in the past 12 months.

Apparently this mass breakdown was not caused by money worries. The interviews with people in a sample of 8,800 households were done months before any global financial clouds appeared in our blue skies. They had no way to know we were approaching the end of ten years of economic sunshine, a decade in which real household income had risen by 20 per cent.

Just when we were supposed to be at our most relaxed and comfortable, one in five of us was experiencing panic, anxiety, depression, phobia, drug dependence, or obsessive compulsive disorder, with women more likely to be anxious and men more likely to abuse alcohol. For more details, go to ABS mental health report.

That was probably the most shocking thing Australians learned about themselves this year, but this possibly connected story came a close second: Australia is now growing faster than India and Indonesia.

There was a time when we worried about the Asian population explosion and thought the Indonesians were breeding so fast they'd have to invade their neighbours. Now they can feel the same way about us. Our population is growing by 1.7 per cent a year, while Indonesia is growing by 1.2 per cent and India is growing by 1.6 per cent.

What's going on here? Three forces came together this decade in a perfect storm that caused our population to rise by 359,000 in the 12 months to June 30, the largest annual growth ever recorded:

1. We started breeding like bunnies. In the last financial year, 287,500 babies were born. Our fertility rate is now 1.9 babies per woman, up from 1.7 in 2001 (when we worried that we might not be replacing ourselves). Thanks a lot, Peter Costello.

2. We welcomed 443,200 new residents. With 229,700 people departing permanently, that gave us a net gain of 213,500 immigrants this year, an all time record. Some 70 per cent of them came in the "skills stream", which means they are filling jobs older residents can't or won't do.

3. We're staying alive. There were 142,000 deaths in the last financial year -- 29.4 per cent caused by diseases of the heart and blood vessels (so put down that donut), 28.8 per cent per cent caused by cancer, and 7.9 per cent caused by diseases of the respiratory system. That may suggest we're not taking care of ourselves, but last year we had the lowest death rate ever recorded: 6 per 1000, compared with 7.6 per 1000 in 1997.

So if you look at the Bureau's population clock today, you'll see that there are 21,340,000 of us. If the current growth rate continues, we'll reach 22 million by 2010 and 34 million by 2050 -- or 16 million more than most scientists think this continent can sustain. There's no way to predict how many of those will be worried about going nuts.

Is there a link between the rise in mental illness and the rise in population? Go to Comments to discuss

• by David Dale at 05:04 AM
• Comments (53)

WHO WE ARE: The comfort of cliche

To discuss all the stuff Australians have bought to entertain themselves, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 14/12/2008
Do Australians really speak like that? If they don't nowadays, did they ever? Those are the questions many viewers of Australia are asking as they shuffle out of the cinema (in far greater numbers than the media would have you believe - so far the film has been seen by 2 million people here and 6 million in America -- go to The films Australia loved for box office updates).

Apart from the performance of Nicole Kidman, who inspires blind fury in a surprising number of her compatriots, the most controversial issue has been the film's language. Some audiences have objected to the "cliche ockerisms" (particularly the repetition of "Crikey") and to the pidgin English spoken by the Aboriginal characters.

But this column's readers, as usual, are exceptional. They have leapt to the defence of Baz Luhrmann's dialogue. We asked, two weeks ago: "Would an Aboriginal kid in 1940 have said 'That strange woman, she fire-um that Fletcher', or is that more like a line spoken by an Indian in a Hollywood western from the 1950s? (And if an Aboriginal dialect did involve the addition of 'um' to verbs, should it not have been "sack-um" rather than "fire-um"?)"

Anthropologist Jo responded: "As you suggest, the verb 'sack-um' (pronounced 'jakim') is more likely than 'fire-um'. However, adding the suffix 'um' or 'im' is correct, because in Kriol, 'im' is added to verbs if they are transitive. So because 'sack' has to take an object (that is you always have to sack someone), it takes the marker 'im'. For those who haven't heard of Kriol, it is an Indigenous language used by more than 30,000 speakers in Northern Australia."

John May felt right at home: "Crikey ... cripes ... jingo!!! Yes, all common expressions in my childhood. Australia is now an over-governed, conformist place, but the wilder, more individualistic days are still within living memory. Maybe over-sentimentalised, but I can recognise Australia in my past."

And Barbara Adams found the film's dialogue, both black and white, all too familiar: "As the daughter of a dairy farmer, who was lucky enough to have an Aboriginal lady, Ida, to be my companion as a small child (to learn about talking to rocks or old man tree), I can tell you about words they used. Yes, it is true: UM was added. If I stumbled into a rabbit hole while walking: 'You fallum right down big hole, Barbie girl'.

"I am prompted to write because most country people certainly have no inferiority complex about comfort language (cliches). In earlier days people spoke less and used comfortable familiar phrases that said so much more than the words they spoke. It hurts to know that young Australians don't take pride in our earlier common language, and what it stood for. Embrace the words used, and recognize the uniqueness of our culture through this keyhole into our past, and cherish it, instead of rubbishing. 'She'll be right, mate' really meant much more than the few words said.

"I particularly remember one that I think is appropriate for all who can't celebrate with Baz: Go and stick your head in a tussock."

Do they speak proper in Oz? Join the discussion at Comments

• by David Dale at 06:58 PM
• Comments (1)

The Who We Are update: How and what we watched in 2008

To discuss the nation's tastes in television, go to The Tribal Mind.
To discuss the nation's tastes in games, and why Grand Theft Auto is good for kids, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 8am Monday
On this page you will find a pile of statistics about this year on Australian television, based on data from OzTAM's people meters in 3,035 homes in the mainland capitals. Further down, you will find the average audience for all stations over this decade, the most watched shows on Pay television, and the programs most watched in the final ratings week by viewers aged over 55 and viewers aged 16 to 39.

Excluding the Olympics, the average audience shares between 6pm and midnight during the ratings period of 2008 were: Seven 28.5 per cent, Nine 27.3, Ten 21.0, ABC 17.5, SBS 5.6. Last year, the shares were: Seven 29.1, Nine 27.0, Ten 21.8, ABC 16.7, SBS 5.5.

Nine is crowing about how it "won the year" with viewers aged 25-54, with whom its prime time share was 28.7 per cent to Seven's 28.0 per cent. Ten is boasting that it "won the year" with viewers aged 16-39, with whom its prime time share was 29.7 per cent, while Nine got 28.4 and Seven got 26.4.

The most watched single events in 2008 were: Beijing Olympics opening (7) 2.82m in the mainland capitals; AFL Grand Final (7) 2.49m; Aus Open Tennis Men's Final (7) 2.45m; Melbourne Cup race (7) 2.27m; Olympics Day 9 prime time (7) 2.23m; Olympics Day 1 prime time (7) 2.21m; Rugby league State of Origin Match 3 (9) 2.14m; State of Origin 1 (9) 2.09m; State of Origin 2 (9) 2.08m; Rugby league Grand Final (9) 2.05m; Twenty/20 cricket Aus v. India (9) 2.03m.

To see how these fit with earlier records, go to The TV shows Australia loved

The 150 most watched series, 2008
Program. Channel. Average audience across the mainland capitals
1 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Network 7 1,937,841
2 FIND MY FAMILY Network 7 1,803,223
3 UNDERBELLY Network 9 1,706,831
4 THE ZOO - TUE Network 7 1,688,134
5 CITY HOMICIDE Network 7 1,621,122
6 BORDER SECURITY Network 7 1,609,917
7 THE FORCE Network 7 1,597,773
8 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Network 7 1,578,016
9 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Network 7 1,576,104
10 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Network 7 1,523,360
11 60 MINUTES Network 9 1,504,646
12 TWO AND A HALF MEN -WED Network 9 1,503,496
13 RAMSAY'S KITCHEN NIGHTMARES-THU Network 9 1,501,569
14 SEVEN NEWS Network 7 1,501,129
15 DOMESTIC BLITZ Network 9 1,497,437
16 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA Network TEN 1,490,977
17 DAVID ATTENBOROUGH TIGER-SPY IN THE JUNGLE Network 9 1,477,355
18 THE ONE - AUSTRALIA'S MOST GIFTED PSYCHIC Network 7 1,451,088
19 NATIONAL NINE NEWS SUNDAY Network 9 1,413,537

• by David Dale at 06:15 AM
• Comments (3)

WHO WE ARE: The uncredible land of Oz

To discuss the nation's tastes in games, and why Grand Theft Auto is good for kids,. go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 7/12/2008
The film Australia should be a huge hit, if the passion provoked by the very idea of it translates into bums on seats. When this column raised a few questions about its historical and cultural details last week, we got 152 responses, which fell into three broad categories:

1 Readers who attacked the media's carping negativity and argued that we should all support the film because it is Australian;
2 Readers determined never to see the film because they were infuriated by the publicity hype and/or the presence of Nicole Kidman;
3 Readers who had actually seen the film (including several in America). Most of this group said they enjoyed it, and were eager to recommend it, with reservations. The greatest rage against the film came from people who were guessing at what is in it.

But will Oz earn back its costs, alleged to be close to $200 million? Here is some context to help you analyse the media's obsessive coverage of that question (which seemingly derives from a combination of the cultural cringe and the tall poppy syndrome) ...

The most successful Australian film in history was Crocodile Dundee, which made $48 million in 1986 (when the average ticket price was $6). To match the Croc's success in a year when the average ticket price is $11, Oz needs to make $88 million. In its first week, Oz made $9 million, and on the principle that most blockbusters end up totalling three times the first week's takings, Oz seems likely to leave cinemas with close to the $29 million earned by Moulin Rouge, Baz Luhrmann's last film. That would be a handsome result, though behind this year's favourites, The Dark Knight ($46 million) and Mamma Mia ($32 million). In America, Oz made $US23 million in its first week, and should end up with $US70 million. It's likely to do well elsewhere in the world (except Japan). So, contrary to what you've read, there's a chance its investors will make their money back.

Reader Mervyn Allbright thinks Oz does not deserve to succeed: "Why do we think we have to make Hollywood-style 'block-busters' full of inaccuracies, populist tripe, historical lies, foolishly one-dimensional characters, and cringing and condescending portrayals of indigenous people? It just makes Australia look like a nation of dunces."

Jacky agrees: "Luhrmann has truly shamed a lot of Australians by making a film that, not only further stereotype our nation but also confuses foreigners. If you want a true genuine Aussie film, The Castle and Rabbit Proof Fence are films to be proud of."

But America-based reader Iola is a fan: "Since time began, authors and playwrights have taken factual events and messed with them! That's what makes it a great story. We love to put reality aside for a little while and go and soak up all that lovely fiction. Even when the topics are based on fact, we want them to be larger than life, epic. A lot of us LOVED the movie, even us expats who know in our hearts that Baz took a couple of liberties! "

And reader Tony McGrath defends its accuracy, at least on the proposition that the Aboriginal mission 80 km north of Darwin gave the first warning about the Japanese attack in 1942: "The priest on Bathurst Island who radioed to the mainland was Father John McGrath, who spent many years with the Tiwi people of the island. The authorities ignored the warning. Father John died at the Sacred Heart Kensington monastery, Sydney, in 1982, at 89 years old, and at the request of the Tiwi his body was returned to the island and buried in great honour. Father John was born at Parkes, NSW, the 11th of 14 children, of which my grandfather, Stephen, was the eldest."

You can read all the responses, and add your own (especially if you've seen it), by going to last week's column.

• by David Dale at 12:42 AM
• Comments (7)

WHO WE ARE: Does accuracy matter?

To examine the nation's tastes in television this year, go to The Tribal Mind.
For the latest on Australian atttitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 30/11/2008
You'll feel like walking out of the cinema several times during the first 40 minutes of Australia, but try to stick it out. At first you suspect Baz Luhrmann and Nicole Kidman are having a huge lend of us, but as it proceeds, Australia becomes less like a parody. There are plenty of moments when you cringe in embarrassment at the clunky script, the hammy acting and the cheesy effects, but they are eventually outnumbered by moments that are quite engaging.

At the session I attended last week (Bondi Junction Greater Union cinema, 10 am Wednesday), the audience burst into applause as the closing credits started to roll. Many had tears in their eyes as they shuffled out. Perhaps Australians will abandon their natural scepticism just this once.

In its own land, the reviews of Australia have been mostly polite, but in America, they have been damning. On Slate magazine's website (click here), Tanner Colby called it "the turkey of the year", and remarked: "There's no dingo eating anyone's baby in this, but there should have been. That's the only national cliche missing." His colleague Dana Stevens complained that she had hoped to leave the film knowing something more about Australia (the country), but she actually felt she knew less.

That's where this column comes in, because our weekly subject matter is national identity. Since the film seems to be aimed at eight year olds, it should at least be informative. But we wouldn't want them to grow up with a deluded view of the nation's history and iconography. These questions occurred to me as I watched:

1. Was there ever a beer called Kangaroo Bitter or a rum called Poor Fella?
2. Did drovers and cattle barons habitually wear revolvers in holsters on their hips?
3. Would an Aboriginal kid in 1940 have said "That strange woman, she fire-um that Fletcher" or is that more like a line spoken by an Indian in a Hollywood western from the 1950s? (And if an Aboriginal dialect did involve the addition of "um" to verbs, should it not have been "sack-um" rather than "fire-um"?)
4. Would a man working as an accountant in the outback in 1940 know the song Over The Rainbow, when The Wizard of Oz only opened in America in September, 1939? Would he have explained his ability to play it by declaring "I've got the latest 100 songs of the hit parade here".
5. Were half-caste children exiled to a place called Mission Island off Darwin, and was Mission Island the first place to come under Japanese attack in 1942?

At this point, the only question to which I can confidently answer yes is Number 5. Bathurst Island, 80 kilometres north of Darwin, was the site of a Catholic mission to which Aboriginal children were sent, and on February 19, 1942, its priest radioed to the mainland: "An unusually large air formation bearing down on us from the northwest". The mission was strafed by the passing planes on their way to bomb Darwin.

If Luhrmann has got that right, maybe the other oddities are equally accurate. With your help, we'll pursue them in next week's column. Go to Comments to give us your thoughts on the accuracy of Australia.

• by David Dale at 01:25 AM
• Comments (165)

The Silly Season update: Up to week 50

The caravan has moved on. This fortnight of the blog is no longer current. For the latest media discussion, go here.
To discuss all the stuff Australians have bought to entertain themselves, go to The Tribal Mind.

What Australia watched, week ending December 13
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,310,000 330,000 364,000 271,000 145,000 199,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,282,000 317,000 321,000 311,000 125,000 209,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,219,000 304,000 320,000 255,000 148,000 193,000
4 HOT PROPERTY Seven 1,208,000 324,000 341,000 272,000 102,000 170,000
5 ENOUGH ROPE WITH ANDREW DENTON ABC1 1,194,000 371,000 363,000 206,000 119,000 136,000
6 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,190,000 289,000 377,000 252,000 112,000 159,000
7 NCIS RPT Ten 1,185,000 283,000 371,000 203,000 142,000 186,000
8 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,164,000 312,000 396,000 238,000 120,000 99,000
9 THE HOWARD YEARS ABC1 1,160,000 406,000 326,000 191,000 111,000 126,000
10 OUTBACK WILDLIFE RESCUE Seven 1,159,000 348,000 281,000 264,000 120,000 147,000
11 M-MADAGASCAR Seven 1,143,000 308,000 359,000 225,000 127,000 123,000
12 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS SUMMER Seven 1,132,000 331,000 314,000 199,000 135,000 154,000
13 THE RICH LIST - MON Seven 1,094,000 307,000 313,000 219,000 118,000 137,000
14 BONES - MON (R) Seven 1,055,000 313,000 314,000 195,000 118,000 115,000

• by David Dale at 02:05 AM
• Comments (155)

WHO WE ARE: It's moments like these ...

To discuss the accuracy of Austraya, go to Who We Are.
For regular updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 23/11/2008
You should by now have received your early Chrissie pressie from the Royal Australian Mint -- a fat envelope that looks like junk mail and contains a brochure advertising a whole lot of souvenir coins you can buy.

It's wonderful that this "prescribed agency of the Treasury" is helping out the government at a financially stressed time by spamming the nation with the opportunity to spend $115 for a set of six one dollar coins depicting the Parkes Telescope, but they need to reconsider their subject matter. They want us to join in celebrating some of the most boring events in Australian history.

Get real, you silly minties. Do you seriously expect anybody to spend $130 on two $5 coins depicting the Airbus A380? Or $12.95 on a one dollar coin honouring the centenary of the quarantine service? Or $235 on a $10 gold coin commemorating The Year of the Ox? They're almost as lame as last year's coin (pictured) commemorating the APEC meeting (which might have sold a few more copies if it had depicted the Chaser boys).

There's still time to create souvenirs that Australians really will want to display on their mantelpieces next year. It turns out that a lot of historical tipping points happened in years ending in 9. These are just a few examples of moments the Mint could immortalise in gold, silver and bronze:

The 40th anniversary of Australia's first on-stage mass nude scene. In 1969, during the first Sydney performance of the musical Hair, the cast appeared naked at the end of the first act. Police were stationed in the front row to ensure the audience didn't riot and the cast didn't move. This symbol of the death of puritanism and the opening of the Australian mind would need to be depicted on a 50 cent coin rather than a $2 coin, since some 15 people were involved, but it would sell like hot buns.

The 30 th anniversary of the first VCR going on sale. The ability to play rented movies and to record TV shows for later viewing gave Australians control of their home entertainment and broke our dependence on the commercial networks. The image of a black box would be a bit boring, so perhaps it would be better to depict a scene from Crocodile Dundee, one of the first flicks available on video.

The 20th anniversary of the last Imperial honour being awarded by the British monarch to an Australian. The coin could depict a sword on a shoulder, with a diagonal slash across the image. For balance, the other side of the coin could commemorate the tenth anniversary of the referendum in which we voted against a republic.

The 80th anniversary of the Speedo cossie. MacRae Knitting Mills in Sydney introduced the sleek swimwear in 1929, and went on to become the supplier for all 52 swimming nations at the Munich and Montreal Olympics. A $2 coin for budgie smugglers!

The 60th anniversary of the election of Australia's first Liberal government. Lets be imaginative. Robert Menzies has been honoured enough. We should cheer up the Liberal leaders who didn't quite make it -- Billy Snedden, Andrew Peacock, Alexander Downer, John Hewson and Brendan Nelson -- with their own beautifully boxed set of five cent pieces in shiny bronze. I was going to include Peter Costello, but there's a good chance he'll be on his own Prime Ministerial coin one day.

To add your suggestions on events or people we should commemorate in coinage, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 08:39 PM
• Comments (8)

WHO WE ARE: Meat in the middle, noxious at both ends

To learn how to catch the zeitgeist, go to The sweetest thing.
For regular updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun Herald, 16/11/2008
The good news is that our bilbies are finally breeding. The bad news is that there are only a few hundred of them left on this continent, as opposed to 29 million cows.

To save the bilbies, bettongs, woylies, potoroos, leristas, phascogales and other diminutive creatures that abounded on this continent before the arrival of the cow, we might have to give up our addiction to milk and beef. Here's my modest proposal: lets send this country's cattle back to where they came from.

Rangers in Queensland's Curranawinya National Park announced recently that the local bilby population had started to recover, thanks to the building of a 21 km long electrified fence that protected them from human-introduced predators.

But in the same week, the Bureau of Statistics revealed that during this decade, the number of indigenous bird and mammal species assessed as "extinct, endangered or vulnerable" rose from 153 to 174. The Bureau said half of these once prolific species were vulnerable, one third were endangered and 18 per cent were presumed extinct.

What's causing this? "Land clearing is a key threat to biodiversity," says the bureau. "It destroys and degrades the habitat on which native species rely. Clearing also allows weeds and invasive animals to spread, contributes to greenhouse gas emissions and can lead to soil degradation, such as erosion and salinity, which in turn can affect water quality ... Of the land cleared in 2005, almost half was ... forest cleared for the first time."

Why are we clearing all this forest? To create pasture for cows, mainly. And in return, the cows are killing us. The UN Food and Agricultural Organisation has determined that cattle are responsible for 18 per cent of the greenhouse gases that cause global warming.

Britain's The Independent summarized the UN findings: "Burning fuel to produce fertiliser to grow feed, to produce meat and to transport it -- and clearing vegetation for grazing -- produces 9 per cent of all emissions of carbon dioxide, the most common greenhouse gas. And their wind and manure emit more than one third of emissions of another, methane, which warms the world 20 times faster than carbon dioxide.

"Livestock also produce more than 100 other polluting gases, including more than two-thirds of the world's emissions of ammonia, one of the main causes of acid rain ... Cattle ranching is the major driver of deforestation worldwide, and overgrazing is turning a fifth of all pastures and ranges into desert. Cows also soak up vast amounts of water: it takes 990 litres of water to produce one litre of milk."

The solution is clear. Lets get rid of these four-footed farting burpers. The most humane approach is to put them on boats back to their homeland. The biohistorians tell us that all of today's cattle are descendants of an animal called the auroch, first domesticated 10,000 years ago in northern India. And isn't that the perfect place to send them? The Indians love cows and would appreciate the boost to their economy.

It's a win-win all around - for the humans, for the cattle and for the biilbies. To find out what we will eat instead, go to But what if the beetroots are the aliens.

To discuss this crusade, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 02:44 PM
• Comments (53)

The Who We Are update: Week 48

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For today's media trends, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss the success story of the ABC, SBS and Pay, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10am Sunday
On Friday and Saturday, Channels Seven, Nine and Ten attempted to capitalise on what they imagined would be a booming interest in Australiana and Hugh Jackman. See the charts below for how Mick Dundee, Van Helsing and Wolverine pulled in the punters.

Seven won the last week of the "official" ratings year with 29.9 per cent of the prime time audience, while Nine got 26.5, Ten 20.2, ABC 17.7 and SBS 5.7.

Of course, the people meter boxes will keep sending their data to OzTAM's computer over the silly season, so this column will continue to provide regular discussion on how Australians are entertaining themselves. For a roundup of the year, go to Telly 2008.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,184,000 351,000 394,000 232,000 142,000 64,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,158,000 293,000 299,000 274,000 105,000 185,000
3 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Nine 1,011,000 275,000 342,000 197,000 95,000 102,000
4 ABC NEWS-SAT ABC1 963,000 278,000 272,000 180,000 100,000 134,000
5 MOUNTAIN WITH GRIFF RHYS JONES ABC1 942,000 227,000 273,000 168,000 119,000 156,000
7 THE BILL ABC1 832,000 210,000 250,000 125,000 105,000 142,000
8 POLAR EXPRESS -RPT Nine 801,000 254,000 262,000 122,000 85,000 77,000
9 M-CAMP ROCK Seven 709,000 208,000 170,000 182,000 59,000 90,000
11 SECOND TEST - AUSTRALIA V NEW ZEALAND Nine 695,000 231,000 194,000 114,000 89,000 67,000
12 GARFIELD 2 Ten 613,000 172,000 179,000 133,000 61,000 69,000
14 JURASSIC PARK RPT Ten 569,000 152,000 228,000 87,000 50,000 52,000
15 M-X-MEN 2 Seven 539,000 154,000 157,000 120,000 42,000 66,000
30 STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS Ten 234,000 71,000 80,000 35,000 25,000 23,000

• by David Dale at 01:09 AM
• Comments (87)

WHO WE ARE: How to treat complainers

To discuss the accuracy of Austraya, go to Who We Are.
For regular updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 9/11/2008
Never complain in a restaurant if you intend to continue eating there. Does that principle go too far? There was heated debate among readers last week when this column, provoked by a certain chocolate gelato incident, suggested a set of principles for avoiding unsatisfactory experiences when eating out. Our list started with "Never eat in a restaurant that revolves or floats."

Among the 100 readers who responded, these inspirations emerged ...

Never eat in a restaurant where the waitress is picking her nose while waiting for you to order, OR the waiter lets out a massive sneeze just before he serves your food OR they wash your chopsticks with boiling green tea before they hand them over .... these experiences were in China, Thailand and Malaysia. (Maz)

Never order "brushetta", "Ceasar salad" or anything dressed with a "vinegarette". If a restaurant can't even spell a dish correctly, what are the odds they can cook it correctly? (Snob)

Never eat in a restaurant in Canberra. (Accidie)

Never eat (a second time) in a restaurant ... with paper napkins;
that makes you "hold onto your knives and forks" for the second course; that asks you after 5 seconds of delivering your meal "how were the first few bites?" and then keep asking how your meal was; that continually tops up your almost full wine glass; that delivers the courses on top of one another then can't deliver the bill. (Nigel)
... that takes guests to their table and allows them to remove their own coats and put them on the back of their chairs; that tells seated guests that they need to move to a different table; provides menus on thin pieces of white A4 paper; whose waiter disappears frequently and stinks of cigarette smoke. (Susan Baxter)

But Phil, who has experience on both sides of the kitchen door, disputed the frequently expressed notion that you should never complain. It's all in the way you do it, he said: "If you are calm, smile, and use a polite and friendly tone of voice to helpfully point out the problems, you will most likely receive some if not all your meal for free. If you are loud, insulting, arrogant and demeaning to staff, you could be the recipient of some nasty surprises in your food.

"The point of food sabotage, as I have witnessed many times unfortunately in my long career, is to taint the complainer's food in a disgusting and unhygeinic but ultimately unidentifiable way.

"Adding saliva and other bodily fluids to sauces is one popular method, and 'seasoning' meat or chicken by rubbing over the sweaty genitals and backsides of several cooks in a row is another old favourite. The point is to hide the foreign taste behind a wall of seasoning and stronger flavours, and then to peer out the service window and watch the oblivious diner shovel mouthfuls of tainted food into his or her face without realising what they are eating."

After that revelation, we're tempted to go along with Alan's solution: "Never eat in a restaurant."

To read all the responses, and join the discussion, go to Finally finding fine food.

• by David Dale at 10:56 AM
• Comments (4)

WHO WE ARE: Finally finding fine food

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 2/11/2008
"Never eat in a restaurant that smells of truffle oil" is the latest addition to a set of eating-out guidelines that started 20 years ago with "Never eat in a restaurant that revolves or floats". After certain news reports last week, perhaps I should add "Never eat chocolate gelato (or, for that matter, lemon gelato) in a restaurant where you have previously complained about the kitchen".

But that wouldn't quite fit with the purpose of the list. The original idea was to guide travellers in search of a decent meal in an unfamiliar town or suburb. There are certain impressions you can form -- long before you've had a chance to complain about anything -- that will save you from finding yourself in the kind of place where the gelato might contain an unpleasant surprise.

With the help of readers, I've been updating the list every couple of years, and the time has come again to seek your input. How the restaurant rules have changed over two decades offers a fascinating insight into the evolution of Australia's eating habits.

This was the first list:
1. Never eat in a restaurant that revolves or floats.
2. Never eat in a restaurant that is more than 20 metres above the ground.
3. Never eat in your hotel dining room.
4. Never eat in a restaurant that is recommended in any free publication you find in your hotel room -- even if the recommendation appears on a different page from the advertisement.
5. A restaurant with a pepper grinder on every table is likely to be good (as opposed to a restaurant where the waiters thrust a metre long pepper grinder in your ear).
6. A restaurant with an accordionist is likely to be bad.
7. There is no such thing as a bad Thai restaurant.
8. There is no such thing as a good Mexican restaurant in Australia.
9. Restaurants offering "cordon blue", "surf 'n' turf", "thousand island dressing", "Vienna schnitzel" and "avocado seafood" are unlikely to be state of the art.
10. The longer the menu, the poorer the food -- except in Chinese restaurants.

In the list's second incarnation, I added these ingredients ...
11. A menu that uses more than 20 words to describe each dish signifies a kitchen lacking in confidence.
12. A restaurant where the waiters introduce themselves ("Hi, my name is Jason and I'll be your server tonight") is unlikely to offer value for money. Ditto a restaurant where the waiter compliments you on your choice of dish.
13. A restaurant in which one wall is covered with signed black and white photographs of celebrities is unlikely to be state of the art, even if the celebrities include Daryl Somers and Kyle Sandilands.
14. Restaurants advertising karaoke are unlikely to be gastronomic temples, but this will become less important as you become less sober.
15. Restaurants that display their menus outside are likely to be more interesting than those that don't (and also make the application of these theories much easier).

Since I first made the list, I've eaten in good Australo-Mexican restaurants and encountered one bad Thai place (raw onion in everything). I've found great restaurants in hotels and on top of skyscrapers. The coolest places of the Noughties serve surf 'n' turf, in the form of pork belly with scallops or prawns. And I'd love to find a schnitzel, even if it came with an accordionist.

What bugs me now is the lazy chef's habit of splashing truffle oil over everything. Australia grows its own truffles these days, and in the winter, it can be pleasant to have a black fungus grated over a bowl of pasta. But "truffle oil" is fake - the flavour comes from a chemical added to the olive oil, which coats your palate and makes the rest of the meal taste as if you are eating in a petrol station.

So when you're standing hungrily outside an unfamiliar eatery, check the menu and put your nose inside. That will give you fair warning, long before the manager arrives with the complimentary gelato.

To add your restaurant rules, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 07:39 PM
• Comments (107)

WHO WE ARE: The invasions we never noticed

To predict the success of Australia (the movie), go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 26/10/2008
Funny how nobody talks about immigration any more. The hottest issue of five years ago has vanished from the national agenda. That's probably because Australians think there isn't much of it happening these days. We assume the immigration program was cut back during the Howard years because both sides of politics feared that most Australians were deep-down racists, and would vote against any party which brought in more of those dreadful foreigners.

It's time to dispose of some myths. Immigration is at record levels, and if they knew what kind of new citizens we are getting, Australians would be delighted. So lets tell them.

The first clue comes in the population clock that appears on the website of the Bureau of Statistics. It now operates on the assumption that this country has a net gain of one international migrant every 2 minutes and 55 seconds. Five years ago it was calibrated on the basis of one migrant arriving every four minutes and 9 seconds.

Combine the immigration boom with our current breeding frenzy and you find our population going up by one person every one minute and 37 seconds (and set to reach 22 million by 2011).

We currently have a net gain of 178,000 new settlers a year - the biggest numbers in 40 years - and that represents 56 per cent of our annual population growth. The countries contributing most are Britain, New Zealand, China and India.

Most of us would probably go along with the stereotype that the Chinese get top marks at university and end up as doctors and scientists, while the Indians work in call centres and run curry shops. The Bureau offers some mythbusting research from the 2006 census.

It says that in the immigration program since 2000, 61 per cent of the Chinese and 82 per cent of the Indians arrived through the "skill stream" (here because they're needed, as opposed to family reunions or refugees).

The biggest surprise is that the Chinese earn less than Australian-born people, while the Indians earn more. "The median individual income of people born in China was $239 per week compared with $539 for people born in India and $484 for Australian-born people," says the bureau.

Where do the new arrivals work? "Accommodation and food services was the largest employing industry for China-born residents in 2006 (accounting for 17.6% of employed China-born persons). Manufacturing was the largest employing industry for India-born residents (with 11.7% of employed India-born persons)."

Nearly a third of the Indian arrivals describe themselves as "professionals" (compared with 22 per cent of Chinese and 19 per cent of Australian-born), while 17 per cent of Indians are "clerical and administrative workers" (compared with 10 per cent of Chinese and 15 per cent of Australian-born). At the lowest paying end of the employment scale, 14 per cent of Chinese, 8 per cent of Indians and 10 per cent of Australians describe themselves as labourers.

But what kind of numbers are we talking about here? Have we opened the floodgates to people who are taking jobs away from good old Aussie labourers, clerks, restaurateurs, and graduates?

The bureau reports that Australia's population of 21.5 million includes 206,588 people who were born in China, and 147,106 people who were born in India. Hardly the kind of numbers to give nightmares to Pauline Hanson -- but enough to make Australia a more interesting place.

To discuss this, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 10:40 AM
• Comments (37)

WH0 WE ARE: You'll pay for what you say

To predict the success of Australia (the movie), go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 19/10/2008
The other day Kevin Rudd quoted the phrase "Tell 'em they're dreamin' " in response to a demand from State Governments for some extra billions in funding. He graciously attributed the line to that fine Australian film The Castle, but he should go further. The line earned him a sound bite on ABC radio, so he really ought to send a cheque for $4 to Jane Kennedy, Rob Sitch, Santo Cilauro, and Tom Gleisner, who created it.

In the same way, all those headline writers who keep playing on the phrase "That's not a knife, THAT'S a knife" should be sending $7 to John Cornell, Paul Hogan and Ken Shadie, the writers of Crocodile Dundee, and those who repeat "It's noice, it's different, it's unusual" should send $6 each time to Gina Riley and Jane Turner, creators of Kath and Kim.

That would be the principle established by the current legal action against Colin Hay and Ron Strykert, the writers of the song Down Under (about the land where women glow and men chunder). Partway through the flute solo that appears in the middle of the recording, the composers quote the tune of a much older icon called Kookaburra Sits In The Old Gum Tree. I've always regarded that flute passage as a witty homage to an Aussie classic, reinforcing the satire on ocker stereotypes.

But the current copyright holders of Kookaburra (written in 1934 by a teacher named Marion Sinclair) argue the musical reference was a crucial element in the success of Down Under, and are seeking a share in the profits.

From now on, we all need to think about who we're ripping off when we reference Australian songs, poems, stories, and speeches, and we should start compensating the creators by putting aside a dollar a word in a kind of swear jar. Here's my starter list, to which I hope you'll add more examples:

The most quotable lines of Australian culture (and the fees you'll owe):
"There was movement at the station" ($6 to the estate of Banjo Paterson).
"Cut and come again" ($4 to the estate of Norman Lindsay, creator of The Magic Pudding).
"We don't need another hero" ($5 to Terry Britten and Graham Lyle, who wrote the theme for Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome).
"Happy little Vegemites" ($3 to the estate of Alan Weekes, composer of the 1954 radio jingle).
"Not happy, Jan" ($3 to Deborah Kennedy, who coined the phrase when Clemenger ad agency was filming a commercial for the Yellow Pages).
"I'll rip yer bloody arms off" ($5 to Grahame Bond, co-writer of The Aunty Jack Show).
"Men and women of Australia" and "Well may we say" (total $9 to Gough Whitlam).
"Just what this country needs: a cock in a frock on a rock" ($13 to Stephan Elliott, creator of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert).
"You're terrible, Muriel" ($3 to P.J. Hogan, writer of Muriel's Wedding).
"Spreading disease with the greatest of ease" ($6 to the estate of James Joseph White, who wrote the original Louie the fly jingle).
"How embarrassment" ($2 to Mary Coustas, co-writer of Acropolis Now).
"Puck you, miss" ($3 to Chris Lilley, writer of Summer Heights High )
"Shaddup you face" ($3 to Joe Dolce).
"There's nothing so lonesome morbid or drear as ..." ($8 to the estates of Gordon Parsons, songwriter, and Dan Sheahan, poet, for Pub With No Beer)
"Most people I know think that I'm crazy" ($8 to the estate of Billy Thorpe).

To suggest more of the lines that make up Australia's cultural heritage, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 02:08 PM
• Comments (12)

The Who We Are update: Week 46

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For today's media trends, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,241,000 318,000 341,000 247,000 139,000 196,000
2 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Nine 981,000 297,000 276,000 171,000 119,000 119,000
3 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 960,000 252,000 337,000 185,000 105,000 80,000
4 ABC NEWS-SAT ABC1 929,000 258,000 293,000 161,000 112,000 105,000
5 THE BILL ABC1 821,000 245,000 246,000 110,000 109,000 112,000
6 ROUGH DIAMOND ABC1 800,000 221,000 229,000 150,000 91,000 109,000
7 ABC NEWS UP-DATE ABC1 734,000 205,000 218,000 131,000 90,000 90,000
8 TEN NEWS AT FIVE SAT Ten 668,000 164,000 189,000 135,000 73,000 107,000
9 LIAR, LIAR RPT Ten 654,000 158,000 267,000 83,000 76,000 70,000
10 M-AGENT CODY BANKS Seven 644,000 157,000 201,000 115,000 66,000 106,000
15 RUGBY LEAGUE WORLD CUP -SF1 Nine 484,000 254,000 14,000 189,000 15,000 12,000
24 MYTHBUSTERS RPT SBS 345,000 89,000 128,000 47,000 46,000 34,000
27 IRON CHEF RPT SBS 291,000 60,000 127,000 47,000 32,000 26,000
29 ROCKWIZ SBS 261,000 69,000 100,000 32,000 28,000 32,000

• by David Dale at 05:34 AM
• Comments (49)

Better to reign eccentrically than serve predictably

by David Dale
As Nathan Rees might say: if you seem eccentric, then you are eccentric. And Nathan Rees seems eccentric.

In just eight weeks as NSW Premier he has said two gloriously unpredictable things -- that his favourite book is Paradise Lost, published in 1667 by the puritan poet John Milton, and that if you think you are in love, then you are in love (said last week in the context of discussing traffic jams).

That's two more surprises than Morris Iemma gave us in three years as premier (unless you count his resignation). It is starting to look as if we might have an interesting person running the state, and in my book, that's much better than having a competent person. If we're honest with ourselves, we realise that we elect politicians to entertain us. Canberra and Macquarie Street are soap operas, sometimes overlapping with crime thrillers and screwball comedies. The public service can do the grunt work. The job of politicians is to engage our emotions and inspire our imaginations.

State politics throws up too few eccentrics. The finest in the past 20 years was the mercurial Jeff Kennett in Victoria, who revealed only after he retired that he suffered from depression.

In NSW, Bob Carr felt no need to justify his preference for Roman history over football. I ran into him once on a bus that was taking people round Sydney's museums. He said he was late for his official duty of launching the museum tour because he'd got caught up watching a TV documentary that proved it was not Nero who set fire to Rome (in 64 AD) but Christian terrorists trying to bring down the empire. Carr couldn't stop talking about it.

Nathan Rees's fascination with Milton ranks with that. Paradise Lost tells the story of Lucifer's attempt to organise a revolution by the angels in heaven and overthrow the dictatorship of God. God wins and banishes Lucifer and his freedom fighters to the underworld (whence they later emerge to tempt Adam and Eve).

Milton clearly had sympathy for the devil. Lucifer is the most interesting character in the narrative. The illustrator William Blake said Milton was "of the Devil's party without knowing it" -- which may say something about Rees's continuing relationship with certain Labor powerbrokers. Quotes we should expect to hear soon in Rees speeches: "Better to reign in hell, than serve in heav'n" and "The Mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a heav'n of hell, or a hell of heav'n". Sounds a lot like NSW to me.

Eccentricity is underrated as an incentive for voters. Gough Whitlam was the first of the Great Unpredictables, because his brain overflowed with ideas that didn't fit within standard political rhetoric. His divagation on the pronunciation of the word kilometer ("The versifiers among you have always used pentameters and tetrameters, and you've got a pretty fair diameter and perimeter yourself") makes Rees look positively pedestrian.

Malcolm Fraser only revealed the depths of his eccentricity in a Memphis hotel lobby three years after his retirement. Paul Keating brought vaudeville back to Parliament. Even when you thought he seemed arrogant, paranoid, and obsessive, you couldn't take your eyes off him. He was the first politician worth writing a musical about.

Those who watched Kevin Rudd's rise through the Sunrise program could tell right away that he was a weird boy -- and all the more electable for that. Malcolm Turnbull is deeply eccentric, but unfortunately he knows it and keeps himself in a verbal straitjacket, thereby coming across as pompous and humourless. If he'd relax and share his real view of the universe, we might like him -- or at least enjoy him.

The NSW Opposition leader Barry O'Farrell used to have his moments of eccentricity, but he has turned into another grey bureaucrat. He shed his individuality with his poundage. His pronouncements have become so formulaic there is no way to sense the real human being. This State needs a lateral thinker, and he no longer looks like one.

Nathan Rees got rubbished in Friday's media for his philosophical musings about the nature of love and traffic. The Herald's front page described him as "bizarre" and "embarrassing". What do the critics want? Should he go into a huddle with his spin doctors before making any statement, and end up sounding more machine than man?

Long live spontaneity, eccentricity, individuality and unpredictability. As Milton said: "Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties."

Go to Comments to discuss: Do you prefer your pollies eccentric or efficient?

• by David Dale at 03:50 PM
• Comments (1)

The Who We Are update: Week 47

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For today's media trends, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss the moments we should commemorate in coins, go to Who We Are

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,323,000 298,000 427,000 252,000 145,000 201,000
2 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,304,000 347,000 475,000 277,000 132,000 74,000
3 RUGBY LEAGUE WORLD CUP -FINAL Nine 1,240,000 497,000 290,000 387,000 32,000 33,000
4 ABC NEWS-SA ABC1 1,053,000 281,000 391,000 143,000 108,000 132,000
5 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Nine 995,000 325,000 344,000 123,000 102,000 102,000
6 MOUNTAIN WITH GRIFF RHYS JONES-EV ABC1 972,000 243,000 319,000 147,000 99,000 163,000
7 ABC NEWS UP-DATE ABC1 923,000 238,000 268,000 133,000 105,000 179,000
8 FIRST TEST - AUSTRALIA V NEW ZEALAND Nine 877,000 258,000 301,000 138,000 89,000 91,000
9 THE BILL ABC1 848,000 231,000 270,000 123,000 96,000 129,000
10 M-CHICKEN LITTLE Seven 833,000 226,000 281,000 113,000 92,000 121,000
13 M-AGENT CODY BANKS 2: DESTINATION LONDON Seven 676,000 167,000 262,000 97,000 50,000 101,000
15 THUNDERBIRDS RPT Ten 571,000 130,000 208,000 95,000 61,000 77,000
16 GLADIATOR RPT Ten 564,000 145,000 188,000 94,000 67,000 71,000
33 ROCKWIZ SBS 225,000 51,000 74,000 46,000 27,000 28,000
34 KYLIE MINOGUE INTERVIEW Seven 219,000 50,000 94,000 44,000 16,000 16,000
35 SCRUBS (R) Seven 212,000 54,000 80,000 55,000 22,000

• by David Dale at 08:07 AM
• Comments (90)

The Who We Are update: Week 45

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For today's media trends, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss how to avoid bad restaurants, go to Who We Are.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,285,000 293,000 322,000 319,000 142,000 209,000
2 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,014,000 258,000 306,000 248,000 122,000 79,000
3 ABC NEWS-SAT ABC1 950,000 268,000 295,000 158,000 92,000 138,000
4 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Nine 933,000 259,000 261,000 212,000 97,000 103,000
5 M-WALLACE & GROMIT: THE CURSE OF THE WERE-RABBIT Seven 848,000 181,000 224,000 213,000 82,000 149,000
6 ROUGH DIAMOND ABC1 830,000 216,000 240,000 155,000 91,000 128,000
7 THE BILL ABC1 812,000 204,000 262,000 105,000 108,000 133,000
8 ABC NEWS UP-DATE ABC1 805,000 184,000 268,000 129,000 94,000 131,000
9 TEN NEWS AT FIVE SAT Ten 727,000 192,000 187,000 164,000 74,000 110,000
10 M-THE PRINCE & ME Seven 683,000 199,000 173,000 151,000 69,000 90,000
11 THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT Ten 632,000 172,000 200,000 118,000 79,000 63,000
19 RUGBY LEAGUE WORLD CUP -SAT Nine 404,000 177,000 40,000 155,000 18,000 14,000
23 ROCKWIZ SBS 336,000 103,000 106,000 47,000 31,000 48,000
25 THE 2008 MELBOURNE CUP CARNIVAL: STAKES DAY Seven 311,000 68,000 144,000 47,000 30,000 22,000
31 CLASSIC ALBUMS: JOHN LENNON - THE PLASTIC ONO BAND SBS 238,000 65,000 84,000 47,000 19,000 22,000

• by David Dale at 08:49 AM
• Comments (76)

The Who We Are update: Week 44

This week of the blog is now a heritage item. To join the latest discussion, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss how the latest immigrants are improving Australia, go to Who We Are

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,161,000 307,000 319,000 232,000 111,000 193,000
2 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,081,000 267,000 391,000 250,000 98,000 75,000
3 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Nine 879,000 235,000 270,000 193,000 80,000 101,000
4 ABC NEWS-SAT ABC1 864,000 186,000 322,000 141,000 99,000 117,000
5 ICE AGE THE MELTDOWN Ten 837,000 286,000 233,000 141,000 80,000 97,000
6 THE BILL ABC1 769,000 203,000 267,000 103,000 91,000 105,000
10 THE 2008 MELBOURNE CUP CARNIVAL: DERBY DAY - THE R Seven 561,000 127,000 256,000 64,000 58,000 56,000
11 THE INTERPRETER RPT Ten 550,000 182,000 153,000 84,000 51,000 79,000
15 SEVEN'S R.U: BLEDISLOE CUP: AUS V N Z Seven 487,000 204,000 38,000 200,000 28,000 19,000
25 ROCKWIZ SBS 323,000 104,000 115,000 40,000 33,000 31,000
26 MYTHBUSTERS RPT SBS 309,000 77,000 108,000 58,000 36,000 31,000
29 IRON CHEF RPT SBS 260,000 71,000 103,000 39,000 25,000 21,000
30 CLASSIC ALBUMS: THE DOORS - THE DOORS SBS 257,000 77,000 88,000 32,000 33,000 29,000
37 RUGBY LEAGUE WORLD CUP Nine 208,000 106,000 14,000 72,000 12,000 4,000

• by David Dale at 08:19 AM
• Comments (108)

The Who We Are update: Week 43

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -- worthy studying but no longer current. For the latest discussions on popular culture in Australia, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To predict the success of Australia (the movie), go to The Tribal Mind.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,191,000 268,000 312,000 295,000 106,000 209,000
2 ABC NEWS-SA ABC1 986,000 262,000 327,000 159,000 94,000 145,000
3 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 966,000 241,000 329,000 199,000 95,000 102,000
4 FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Nine 903,000 225,000 262,000 218,000 85,000 112,000
5 M-TOY STORY Seven 874,000 200,000 247,000 197,000 89,000 141,000
6 M-TOY STORY 2 Seven 816,000 215,000 249,000 159,000 80,000 114,000
7 ROUGH DIAMOND ABC1 811,000 197,000 265,000 145,000 86,000 118,000
8 THE BILL ABC1 796,000 190,000 288,000 118,000 91,000 109,000
9 TEN NEWS AT FIVE SAT Ten 745,000 184,000 200,000 123,000 77,000 162,000
10 SLEEPERS Ten 661,000 207,000 185,000 132,000 65,000 72,000
11 ELF -RPT Nine 653,000 208,000 170,000 141,000 54,000 80,000
23 RUGBY LEAGUE WORLD CUP Nine 320,000 181,000 12,000 103,000 9,000 14,000
24 MYTHBUSTERS RPT SBS 298,000 91,000 98,000 50,000 27,000 32,000
26 ROCKWIZ SBS 259,000 85,000 89,000 37,000 33,000 14,000

• by David Dale at 08:31 AM
• Comments (107)

WHO WE ARE: Save the grubs, cook the people

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 12/10/2008
Think the unthinkable and say the unsayable. That's this column's readers. In recent days, they have advanced these propositions: 1) The best way to make school history lessons more interesting is to teach less about boomerangs and witchetty grubs and more about the Chinese communist party; 2) the best way to make the planet healthier and happier is not eating more kangaroos but eating vegans, ideally with ginger and black bean sauce. Yes, that was vegans, not veggies.

The way this column works is that we raise questions about national identity, and the readers answer them, usually by shredding conventional wisdoms. When I observed that Australian history, as traditionally taught, was likely to leave students with the impression that they lived in one of the most boring countries on earth, 57 readers replied.

Many urged the inclusion of more information about the people who were here before 1770. But Kate, who finished high school in 2005, complained: "Every year between year 3 and year 10 it was witchetty grubs, boomerangs, dispossession or reconciliation depending on how old you were. These are all very valuable topics and should be studied, but on and off for SEVEN YEARS? The statement that we were about to study either Australian or Aboriginal history was usually met with a groan.

"My favourite topics were the Cold War (and the Cuban Missile Crisis), the historiography (not history) of the Crusades, China under the CCP and the Industrial Revolution. Everything I've learnt in those subjects I've used a hundredfold since entering university. No one has asked me about witchetty grubs though...."

When I asked how Australians might be persuaded to follow Professor Garnaut's suggestion that we eat more kangaroo, 50 readers responded.

David H offered these suggestions: "Sheep and cattle need chemicals and innoculations that adds to the cost of raising them and who knows what proportion of those chemicals find their way into the food chain. Come on Aussies, get into your Roo Lasagne, Roo Chow Mein, Pho Roo, Roo au Vin, Roo Shanks and Mash, McRoo, Roo and Mushroom Pies. Write Roo recipe books. Throw another Roo Tail on the Barbie!"

Bonobo's Daughter suggested another approach: "Try becoming vegans - as nature intended us to be ... Not only will you experience vastly better health but you'll be doing the planet a huge favour. No more land clearing or destruction of the ocean's food chain - and save millions of our fellow creatures from suffering."

This worried "Peril", who asked: "But what would we do for a mixed grill? Koalas and wombats aren't plentiful enough and flying fox is too much effort to get a feed off. Emu is a possibility but it needs something more. How about some distraught Vegans? We get good food and reduce suffering at the same time." To which Charlie added: "A nice Vegan with black bean sauce, bit of ginger and garlic, yummo!

To join the discussion on what Australian history our kids should learn, go to Big Ideas.
To join the discussion on how to make Australians eat kangaroo, go to Beetroots and aliens

• by David Dale at 04:14 AM
• Comments (14)

WHO WE ARE: But what if the beetroots are the aliens?

To discuss if there is too much Australian content on television, go to The Tribal Mind
For regular updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 5/10/2008
The greening guru Ross Garnaut faces an uphill battle when he urges Australians to eat more kangaroo and less beef, for the sake of the environment and their health. Cattle tread heavily on the landscape, their meat gives us heart attacks and their poo produces greenhouse gases and a breeding ground for flies. Kangaroos tread lightly and their meat is low in fat and high in iron.

The logic is impeccable, but Australians aren't listening. It's not that they don't like the taste of roo. They won't even try it. Apparently they suffer a Skippy complex -- a reluctance, ingrained since childhood, to eat a cuddly creature who can articulate complex thoughts in a vocabulary of clicks and operate machinery with paws that lack opposable thumbs.

Every good waiter and every good parent knows that any dish tastes better when it comes with a story, so it's time for me to discuss once again a theory that might help sell roo meat to the masses. It is based on the discovery that grilled kangaroo with pureed beetroot is a marriage made in heaven - a natural and inevitable culinary combination like fish and chips, duck and orange, bangers and mash, and pie and sauce.

The master of this dish was a chef named Raymond Kersh, who ran a Sydney restaurant called Edna's Table with his sister Jennice. For 20 years they struggled to persuade Australians to eat local ingredients - not just kangaroo but an array of fruits, herbs and vegetables that sustained this country's population for 60,000 years before the arrival of the cow, the potato and the orange. Visitors loved their menu, but locals stayed away.

Edna's Table finally closed in 2005. Making her farewells, Jennice Kersh said: "We're not interested in being just a tourist gimmick. We think eating your own food is part of your sense of place. Most Australians still don't have that sense of belonging."

The mystery remains: why do kangaroo and beetroot work so well together, when one originated in the south Pacific and the other in the Mediterranean? I think the perfection of this duet is evidence of an alien visitation millions of years ago. The masters of the universe came here, inserted kangaroo at one end of the planet and beetroot at the other, then went off to await the evolution of a creature smart enough to join them together.

A couple of hundred years ago the Europeans developed the technology to carry the beetroot southwards. The first time a chef put it on a plate with a fillet of kangaroo, it closed a circuit in the space time continuum and sent a message across the stars which said "We are ready!" Even as you read this, the aliens are on their way back to invite us to join the galactic federation.

If we are not chewing on roo when they get here, there'll be big trouble. After that long a journey, they won't react kindly to a race that blew its big opportunity.

Give us your theories on how Skippy might save the planet at Comments ...

• by David Dale at 10:37 AM
• Comments (55)

WHO WE ARE: Better living through English

To discuss if there is too much Australian content on television, go to The Tribal Mind
For regular updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 28/9/2008
In ancient tribes, the values of the community were passed on to young people via stories told by elders around the campfire. In modern society, this function is performed by the television set at home and the English syllabus at school. A body called the National Curriculum Board is currently trying to determine the essential values and stories the elders in the classroom should pass on to the kids of Australia from 2010 onwards. The board didn't ask, but this column and its readers can give them some suggestions.

Mind you, they don't need to look much further than the current NSW English syllabus for years 7 to 10. I read the whole thing last week (it takes an hour) and was amazed to find that it doesn't just give students tools for communicating clearly in adult life, but it actually wants to turn them into decent people.

These are among its aims: "Enable all students to develop positive self-concepts and their capacity to establish and maintain safe, healthy and rewarding lives";
"Prepare all students for effective and responsible participation in their society, taking account of moral, ethical and spiritual considerations";
"Promote a fair and just society that values diversity."

That's pretty ambitious for an English syllabus (click here to read the whole thing). In my day, the teacher was happy if you left school able to quote a bit of Shakespeare and tell the difference between a metaphor and a simile.

It's not just about books any more. The syllabus uses the word "text" to cover movies, TV shows, poems, comics, articles, books, plays and even video games. In offering a recommended list, it says: "Texts were selected for this list on the basis of their ability to challenge the reader -- texts that have layered and multiple meanings, and that provoke thought. The classroom use of texts from these lists should help students gain pleasure and power from the exploration of real and imaginary (including virtual) worlds."

Shakespeare is still there, but the suggested reading also includes Lemony Snicket's The Bad Beginning, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Looking for Alibrandi, To Kill A Mockingbird, Northern Lights (which turned into the movie The Golden Compass), and John Marsden's Tomorrow When The War Began.

The suggested movies include Apollo 13; Babe; Breaker Morant ("invites discussion of the injustice meted out to the defendants and the portrayal of different moral and ethical systems and situations"); Chariots of Fire (which deals with themes of "friendship and loyalty, faith and belief, racism and nationalism"); Chicken Run; E.T; Ever After ("A gender reading of the film is a clear base for study. Danielle challenges the viewers' preconceptions of Cinderella. She is independent and strong, and can fight with a sword, saving Prince Henry and later herself from attack. She is well-read and intellectual, and challenges the prince's patriarchal and aristocratic thinking"); Gallipoli; Picnic at Hanging Rock; Raiders of the Lost Ark; Shine and Shrek. (Click here to read all the recommendations).

They sound stimulating, but where are Crocodile Dundee, Dead Calm, Mad Max, My Brilliant Career, Priscilla Queen of the Dessert, Puberty Blues, Rabbit-Proof Fence, Romper Stomper, Romulus My Father, Strictly Ballroom, Ten Canoes, They're A Weird Mob, Two Hands and The Year of Living Dangerously?

They all incorporate the kind of social conscience the syllabus wants to instill in pre-adults. And they might help a new generation to overcome the current assumption that Australian films are clumsy and boring.

Go to Comments to discuss what else should be taught in The New English. And to discuss what Australian history our kids should learn at school, go to last week's column.

Pictures show Crocodile Dundee, Ever After, Mad Max.

• by David Dale at 08:01 PM
• Comments (19)

The Who We Are update: Week 40

This week of the blog is now a heritage item. For the latest discussion, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss if there is too much Australian content on television, go to The Tribal Mind
To discuss what movies our kids should study in English lessons, go to Who We Are

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,263,000 326,000 347,000 257,000 122,000 210,000
2 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,084,000 272,000 350,000 234,000 129,000 99,000
3 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Nine 1,036,000 260,000 281,000 226,000 114,000 155,000
4 ABC NEWS-SAT ABC1 995,000 287,000 291,000 201,000 103,000 113,000
7 THE BILL ABC1 796,000 252,000 236,000 116,000 87,000 106,000
8 MEN IN BLACK II RPT Ten 795,000 178,000 308,000 143,000 84,000 82,000
9 STICK IT Nine 794,000 227,000 225,000 160,000 68,000 114,000
11 GARDENING AUSTRALIA ABC1 710,000 199,000 213,000 151,000 72,000 75,000
13 M-THE SHAGGY DOG Seven 577,000 167,000 191,000 154,000 66,000
14 M-DODGEBALL: A TRUE UNDERDOG STORY Seven 574,000 147,000 212,000 149,000 66,000
15 BLACK HAWK DOWN RPT Ten 554,000 108,000 218,000 86,000 58,000 84,000
21 MYTHBUSTERS: MACGYVER SPECIAL SBS 377,000 89,000 126,000 75,000 47,000 40,000
22 IRON CHEF RPT SBS 307,000 66,000 142,000 47,000 25,000 27,000
35 ROCKWIZ SBS 209,000 63,000 72,000 42,000 22,000 11,000

• by David Dale at 10:44 AM
• Comments (94)

WHO WE ARE: Big Ideas beat big battles

To discuss the smartest lines ever written for Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind
For regular updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 21/9/2008
What is the core knowledge every Australian child needs before starting adulthood? That question is worrying a new body called the National Curriculum Board, which met in Sydney last week to start building a syllabus for history, English, science and maths that will apply across all schools from 2010. We can leave the experts alone with the last two. But we can and should offer them help in deciding what is our essential history.

Traditionally history lessons convinced kids Australia is one of the most boring places on the planet. While Europe offered wars, murders, revolution and romance, Australia was all about wheat, sheep and explorers interminably crossing deserts. I've only just discovered that in reality, Australia in the 19th century was a fascinating place, where visionary people were passionately debating ideas with powerful resonance today.

In the 1830s, 160 years before Paul Keating, a teacher named Robert Lyon gave speeches urging the settlers to sign a treaty with the Aborigines: "They did not go to the British Isles to make war upon you; but ye came from the British Isles to make war upon them.

"They have all along shown themselves ready to be reconciled, desirous to live in peace and amity with you and even willing to be taught your manners, laws and polity ... Ye destroy the natural productions of the soil on which they live, ye devour their fish and their game, and ye drive them from the abodes of their ancestors." He warned that if the relationship was not resolved, "your own children, for whose sakes ye have invaded the country, will join with the disinherited offspring of those ye have slain to pour a flood of curses upon your memory."

In 1849 - 150 years before Malcolm Turnbull was pushing a republic -- we came close to an American-style revolution against Britain over the use of convicts as slaves for rich landowners. A lawyer named Robert Lowe gathered 5000 people at Circular Quay to block the landing of a convict ship and said: "I view this attempt to inflict the worst and most degrading slavery on the colony only as a sequence of that oppressive tyranny which has confiscated the lands of the colony for the benefit of a class.

"As in America, oppression was the parent of independence, so it will be in this colony. And so, sure as the seed will grow into the plant, and the plant to the tree, in all times, and in all nations, so will injustice and tyranny ripen into rebellion, and rebellion into independence." (Two years later Britain stopped sending convicts to the east coast).

And in 1889, 80 years before Germaine Greer, Louisa Lawson was examining the legal rights of women: "Here in New South Wales, every man may vote, let his character be bad, his judgement purchasable and his intellect of the weakest, but an honourable and thoughtful and good woman may be laughed at by such men ... In divorce, men are protected from infidelity: not women. Wives may still be forced to live in the same house with a husband whom they hate and fear."

At the time, those ideas were radical -- not just for Australia but for the world. But we didn't think enough of ourselves to include people like Lyon, Lowe and Lawson in the conventional history syllabus. They deserve to be remembered more than the likes of Blaxland, Leichhardt and Burke. Now is our chance.

Go to Comments to tell us what else should be in the core curriculum. Next week's column will look at what should be in a national English syllabus.

• by David Dale at 10:22 PM
• Comments (58)

The Who We Are update: Week 41

This week of the blog is no longer current. For the latest discusion of media in Aiustralia, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss how to make Australians eat kangaroo, go to Who We Are.
To celebrate the birthday of Daffy Duck, go to The Tribal Mind.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,275,000 340,000 327,000 309,000 109,000 190,000
2 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,025,000 261,000 304,000 264,000 104,000 92,000
3 ABC NEWS-SAT ABC1 950,000 247,000 284,000 198,000 89,000 131,000
4 M-HOLES Seven 935,000 264,000 203,000 232,000 95,000 141,000
5 THE BILL ABC1 932,000 310,000 259,000 166,000 93,000 103,000
6 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Nine 914,000 231,000 224,000 230,000 80,000 149,000
9 SEVEN'S V8 SUPERCARS ROUND 10: BATHURST D2 - TOP 10 SHOOTOUT Seven 749,000 237,000 213,000 170,000 81,000 48,000
10 SEVEN'S V8 SUPERCARS ROUND 10: BATHURST D2 - AFTERNOON Seven 746,000 231,000 209,000 171,000 88,000 48,000
12 GARDENING AUSTRALIA ABC1 634,000 142,000 193,000 148,000 59,000 92,000
13 M-ALIEN VS. PREDATOR Seven 615,000 170,000 176,000 128,000 67,000 75,000
18 OLIVER TWIST Nine 542,000 141,000 170,000 108,000 54,000 70,000
19 SEVEN'S V8 SUPERCARS ROUND 10: BATHURST D2 - EARLY Seven 497,000 164,000 111,000 125,000 58,000 38,000
24 MYTHBUSTERS RPT SBS 307,000 83,000 76,000 68,000 36,000 44,000
27 NO WAY, GET F*#KED, F*#K OFF SBS 276,000 72,000 91,000 48,000 37,000 29,000
30 IRON CHEF RPT SBS 263,000 75,000 91,000 43,000 24,000 31,000
31 ROCKWIZ SBS 245,000 60,000 57,000 51,000 39,000 39,000

• by David Dale at 06:07 PM
• Comments (90)

The Who We Are update: Week 42

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For today's media trends, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss reducing misery on this planet by eating more vegans, go to Who We Are.
To learn why TV tastes don't run in trends, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
As you know, movies no longer attract big numbers on free to air television. People who didn't see a film at the cinema have had a couple of years to see it on DVD or on Pay TV before it reaches the commercial networks. But on Friday night a giant exception manifested itself: a kidflick in the Mary Poppins vein called Nanny McPhee. Anybody care to explain why the Nanny got more than a million viewers, beat the pants off Alexander and Munich, and boosted Channel Ten's morale in an otherwise sluggish week?

The week ended with Seven averaging 30.1 per cent of the prime time audience, with Nine on 25.3, Ten on 20.5, ABC on 18.8 and SBS on 5.3. Seven won every night but Monday.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,137,000 305,000 325,000 223,000 89,000 194,000
2 ABC NEWS-SAT ABC1 964,000 302,000 280,000 168,000 89,000 125,000
3 THE BILL ABC1 942,000 280,000 307,000 153,000 94,000 108,000
4 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 941,000 261,000 295,000 209,000 101,000 75,000
5 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Nine 875,000 264,000 207,000 189,000 93,000 123,000
6 ABC NEWS UP-DATE ABC1 828,000 262,000 255,000 138,000 76,000 98,000
7 ROUGH DIAMOND ABC1 820,000 257,000 257,000 124,000 78,000 104,000
8 M-SHARK TALE Seven 740,000 228,000 233,000 112,000 60,000 107,000
9 GARDENING AUSTRALIA-EV ABC1 660,000 183,000 221,000 120,000 62,000 73,000
10 JUMANJI RPT Ten 627,000 146,000 193,000 132,000 58,000 98,000
11 MONSTER HOUSE Nine 620,000 181,000 167,000 102,000 74,000 97,000
15 M-PRETTY WOMAN Seven 422,000 259,000 68,000 96,000
16 DUKES OF HAZZARD -RPT Nine 406,000 117,000 115,000 64,000 59,000 51,000
17 KING KONG RPT Ten 405,000 107,000 140,000 58,000 46,000 55,000
24 NINE'S HORSE RACING Nine 313,000 74,000 142,000 45,000 34,000 18,000
34 ROCKWIZ SBS 197,000 67,000 62,000 27,000 21,000 20,000

• by David Dale at 07:07 AM
• Comments (80)

The Who We Are update: Week 38

This week of the blog is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest discussion, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To nominate the cleverest lines ever written for Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind.
To discuss why Australians watched the 40 most popular programs of 2008, go to Who We Are.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,284,000 329,000 376,000 283,000 135,000 161,000
2 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Nine 1,144,000 343,000 321,000 257,000 104,000 120,000
3 TEN'S AFL FINALS 2008: 2ND PRELIM. FINAL HAWTHORN V ST KILDA Ten 1,134,000 54,000 687,000 55,000 162,000 176,000
4 RUGBY LEAGUE FINAL SERIES SF2 Nine 1,043,000 529,000 47,000 438,000 13,000 16,000
5 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,005,000 270,000 311,000 249,000 98,000 75,000
6 ABC NEWS-SAT ABC1 889,000 275,000 229,000 202,000 63,000 121,000
7 THE BILL ABC1 724,000 227,000 190,000 111,000 74,000 122,000
22 MYTHBUSTERS SBS 368,000 112,000 77,000 68,000 64,000 47,000
30 IRON CHEF RPT SBS 262,000 79,000 85,000 37,000 35,000 26,000
41 ROCKWIZ SBS 186,000 52,000 51,000 41,000 23,000 19,000

The ratings race, updated 11 am Saturday
Nine won Sunday and Thursday, but Seven won Friday, thanks to AFL's greater appeal than NRL. At this point in the week, the prime time audience shares stand at: Seven 30.1 per cent; Nine 26.6, Ten 19.8, ABC 18.4 and SBS 5.1. And look -- there's Spicks and Specks on the chart again, having been shown on Wednesday and repeated on Thursday on ABC2, with another episode on ABC1 on Friday. Is the ABC in danger of doing a Ramsay on its biggest asset?

What Australia watched, Friday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,411,000 364,000 377,000 279,000 168,000 224,000
2 SEVEN'S AFL: PRELIM FINAL 1: GEELONG VS WESTERN BULLDOG Seven 1,181,000 85,000 681,000 86,000 166,000 163,000
3 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,098,000 338,000 304,000 228,000 124,000 104,000
4 NINE NEWS Nine 1,097,000 293,000 331,000 256,000 120,000 96,000
5 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,051,000 267,000 341,000 211,000 123,000 109,000
6 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,030,000 345,000 431,000 253,000
7 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,021,000 270,000 343,000 261,000 147,000
8 ABC NEWS ABC1 988,000 282,000 280,000 207,000 81,000 138,000
9 WIRE IN THE BLOOD ABC1 926,000 287,000 244,000 160,000 102,000 134,000
10 RUGBY LEAGUE FINAL SERIES SF1 Nine 923,000 508,000 38,000 354,000 12,000 11,000

• by David Dale at 10:23 AM
• Comments (137)

WHO WE ARE: Can they fix it? Yes they can

To nominate the cleverest lines ever written for Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 14/9/2008
This country is passing through a period of intense nationalism. We feel pretty good about ourselves, but not so good about the rest of the world, and that is reflected in our choice of entertainment. In the medium we consume the most, local creations dominate. And our preferred content reveals much about our hopes, fears and attitudes.

I've just come into possession of a chart, based on data from the ratings measurement agency OzTAM, which shows the 40 TV series that attracted the biggest audiences this year. It's apparent that we want to hear familiar accents and see familiar places on the screens that glow for three hours a night in two rooms of our home (70 per cent of Australian households have more than one TV set). Of the top 40 shows, 29 are Australian. An equivalent chart three years ago would have been half American. And we're giving unprecedented support to the national broadcaster. Four of this year's Top 40 are on the ABC (Doc Martin, Midsomer Murders, Spicks and Specks and The Gruen Transfer).

But it's the kind of material we're choosing that gives the greatest insight into the national mindset. If there's a common theme across this year's favourite entertainments, it is Reassurance. We embrace shows which convince us that, in less than an hour ...

1) families can be reunited,
2) crimes can be solved,
3) smugglers can be unmasked,
4) animals can be saved,
5) hard work can be rewarded,
6) chefs can be retrained,
7) homes can be renovated,
8) marriages can be arranged,
9) ills can be cured,
and 10) drowning people can be rescued.

In other words, the 40 most popular programs this year have included ...

1) Packed To The Rafters and Find My Family;
2) City Homicide, The Force, CSI, NCIS, Sea Patrol, Midsomer Murders, Underbelly, Crash Investigation Unit and Criminal Minds;
3) Border Security;
4) RSPCA Animal Rescue;
5) Australia's Got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance and Australian Idol;
6) Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares;
7) Domestic Blitz and Better Homes and Gardens;
8) The Farmer Wants A Wife;
9) RPA and House;
and 10) Bondi Rescue and Surf Patrol.

All those shows had more than 1.2 million viewers in the mainland capitals.
The top three shows in the chart (Packed To The Rafters, Find My Family, and City Homicide) had more than 1.6 million viewers. Why the current craving for reassurance? Why are we such a nervous nation? Could it be because the world outside looks dangerous and confusing, so we choose entertainment that promises there will always be an answer?

But I'd like your help in explaining a few shows that don't fit neatly within the 10 point theory I've outlined. The top 40 also includes The Gruen Transfer, David Attenborough's Life in Cold Blood, The One - Australia's Greatest Psychic, Desperate Housewives, Two and a Half Men, Wipeout, Hole in the Wall, Gladiators and Today Tonight.

What do they reveal about Australians? The quest for knowledge suggested by Life In Cold Blood is contradicted by the sheer silliness of Hole In The Wall. The healthy skepticism suggested by The Gruen Transfer contradicts the gullibility suggested by our interest in Today Tonight and The One - Australia's Greatest Psychic. We're a complex mob.

You can share your theories at Comments

• by David Dale at 05:39 AM
• Comments (14)

The Who We Are update: Week 39

This week of the blog is now a heritage item. For the latest discussion, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss what movies our kids should study in English lessons, go to
Who We Are
To discuss the smartest lines ever written for Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind

What Australia watched, Saturday (preliminary figures)
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN'S AFL: GRAND FINAL: PRESENTATIONS Seven 2,583,000 382,000 1,284,000 256,000 335,000 327,000
2 SEVEN'S AFL: GRAND FINAL Seven 2,460,000 320,000 1,289,000 226,000 300,000 326,000
11 M-KNIGHT RIDER Seven 902,000 198,000 318,000 172,000 104,000 110,000
12 RUGBY LEAGUE FINAL SERIES PF2 Nine 898,000 536,000 24,000 297,000 12,000 29,000

• by David Dale at 05:13 AM
• Comments (126)

WHO WE ARE: Greeks bearing gifts

To discuss the best lines ever written for Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 7/9/2008
Picture the author of this column hitting his forehead and saying "D'Oh". Or, to put it another way: "How could we have forgotten the way the Greeks changed Australia?"

Last week I described Australia as Italy's most successful colony since the Roman Empire (national dish: spag bol, national drink: cappuccino, national attitude: Mediterranean), and pointed out that travel by Australians to Italy had trebled in the past ten years -- presumably because our Anglos keep setting off in search of the secret of human happiness, which Italians seem to possess.

Jim Barlas responded: "Greeks also have the same attitude (Mediterranean mellow) and have made a few contributions to supplying our national foods -- like Greek Salad, Greek style yoghurt, yeeros, pita bread and tzatziki dip. There's a few Federal and State politicians too (John Hatzistergos, Michael Costa, Petro Georgiou, Sophie Mirabella nee Panopoulos). Okay, maybe the Greeks haven't been as successful with influencing our national drinks, because ouzo hasn't taken over from beer yet, and the best influences on fashion and cosmetics I can think of are Alex Perry and Napoleon Perdis -- not nearly as big, on the world scale as the Italians. And Yiassou hasn't replaced G'Day yet. Nevertheless, there must be more people travelling to the Greek islands in recent times."

In fact, the Bureau of Statistics tells us 47,900 Australians visited Greece in the past 12 months, compared with 172,500 who went to Italy. So it's not yet a boom destination (although the movie Mamma Mia! is bound to boost tourism to the islands).

But then again, when they're planning a long stay, more Australians choose Greece than Italy. Among the Australians living abroad for more than a year, 33 per cent are in Britain, 22 per cent in the USA, 14 per cent in New Zealand, 7 per cent in Greece and 6 per cent in Italy.

Back home, 365,000 people in the 2006 census described themselves as of Greek background, and 252,000 said they speak Greek at home. They've been crucial in our transformation from one of the dullest places on the planet to one of the most interesting. I'm indebted to the scholar and cook Tessa Mallos for explaining the Greek role in these cultural tipping points ...

Australia's first chain of fish and chip shops. In 1879, Athanasios Comino, familiar with seafood from his childhood in the Greek islands, set up a shop in Oxford Street, Sydney, to sell fried fish and chips. It was so successful he urged his relatives in Kythera to join him, and by the early 1900s there was a chain of Comino's fish outlets across Sydney. By the 1950s, the Greek chippos were perfectly positioned to spread another culinary icon, the Chiko roll, across the land after it was invented by the honorary Greek Frank McEnroe.

The first milk bar. In 1932, inspired by American soda fountains and drugstores, Mick Adams started making milk shakes at his Black and White cafe in Martin Place, Sydney. Mick's real name was Joachim Tavlaidis. Within ten years there were 4,000 milk bars in Australia, whizzing up milk, icecream, flavouring and malt in tall tin mugs.

The Sydney Fish Market The Greeks have long been pretty good at catching fish and very good at selling them. Greek family companies got together to start most of the seafood markets in Australia's city centres. Last Sunday saw the death of Denis Poulos, founding director (in 1994) of the Sydney Fish Market.

The first country cafe selling baklava. From the 1920s Greek families spread through the country towns of this nation, opening eateries with names like Olympic, Paragon, and Acropolis. They deliberately didn't serve Greek food - unless you count "Mixed Grill" - because we weren't ready for it. But in the 1930s, Zacharia Simos took a chance and brought a pastrycook from Athens to his Paragon tea rooms in Katoomba. In addition to scones and meat pies, they started offering the nut and honey pastries baklava and kataifi.

The Paragon flourishes today as a monument to Australia's Greek heritage.

Go to Comments to tell us what else the Greeks have contributed to Australia

• by David Dale at 03:48 PM
• Comments (22)

The Who We Are update: Week 37

This week of the blog is now a heritage item. To join the latest discussion on Australian popular culture, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss why Australians watched the 40 most popular programs of 2008, go to Who We Are
To nominate the cleverest lines ever written for Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,268,000 353,000 321,000 268,000 128,000 198,000
2 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,214,000 384,000 368,000 261,000 123,000 80,000
3 TEN'S AFL FINALS 2008: 1ST SEMI FINAL ST KILDA V COLLINGWOOD Network TEN 1,087,000 81,000 669,000 52,000 140,000 145,000
4 THE BILL Network ABC1 852,000 298,000 215,000 150,000 75,000 114,000
5 ABC NEWS-SAT Network ABC1 781,000 251,000 253,000 130,000 64,000 84,000
6 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 770,000 154,000 320,000 89,000 86,000 122,000
9 RUGBY LEAGUE FINAL SERIES QF2 Network 9 626,000 361,000 13,000 233,000 8,000 11,000
14 RUGBY LEAGUE FINAL SERIES QF3 Network 9 538,000 361,000 Not shown 168,000 Not shown 9,000
16 SEVEN'S R.U: BLEDISLOE CUP: AUS V N Z Network 7 496,000 226,000 40,000 195,000 14,000 21,000
18 MYTHBUSTERS Network SBS 422,000 136,000 123,000 47,000 58,000 58,000
19 MATILDA RPT Network TEN 399,000 249,000 Not shown 150,000 Not shown Not shown
23 PARALYMPIC GAMES BEIJING 2008 HIGHLIGHTS DAY 7 Network ABC1 331,000 109,000 97,000 55,000 32,000 39,000
33 IRON CHEF RPT Network SBS 259,000 82,000 87,000 33,000 32,000 25,000
39 ROCKWIZ Network SBS 218,000 78,000 50,000 40,000 28,000 21,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 09:22 AM
• Comments (100)

WHO WE ARE: What's your favourite country?

To nominate the best lines ever written for Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind

A column about Australia by David Dale
Because we find our own land boring, Australians are among the world's greatest international travellers. We don't mind spending the odd weekend up or down the coast, but when we get a couple of weeks of spare time, we gotta get outa this place.

In the 12 months to June, Australians made 5.7 million journeys overseas, compared with 5.1 million journeys a year ago and 3 million ten years ago. The Bureau of Statistics tells us that the median age of travelling Australians in the last financial year was 42 and the median length of time away was 15 days.

So we're going abroad more and we're going to different places. Based on the section that asks "country where you spent the most time" on those cards you fill in when you re-enter Australia, the Bureau discovered that the land we escape to most is New Zealand (even if we end up finding they're not that different from us -- go here to learn why they might as well become two states of Australia).

The Kiwis were also our favourite hosts ten years ago. But Indonesia has dropped dramatically in our affections -- from 10.7 per cent of Australians' journeys in 1998 to 5.8 per cent now. Funny how a couple of bombs can put you off a place.

Britain has also declined -- from 10.8 per cent of Australians' journeys ten years ago to 7.5 now, and so has the USA - from 11.4 to 8.6. Fear of delays through excessive security?

Meanwhile we've fallen in love with Thailand -- up from 3.4 per cent of our journeys ten years ago to 7.1 now; and China -- up from 2.7 to 5.0 (and this was before the Olympics). The top ten is completed by Singapore, Fiji, Hong Kong and Malaysia (all unchanged at around 3.5 per cent of our journeys).

But reading the Bureau's report, I was puzzled by the absence of Italy. It has been, after all, the most influential country on Australia's current lifestyle, supplying our national foods (spag bol and pizza), drinks (cappuccino and latte), fashion (Armani and Scali), farewell (Ciao), and attitude (Mediterranean mellow) -- not to mention the State politicians (please).

Don't Australians make pilgrimages to The Source? Aren't Australians part of the horde of Anglos who swarm the hills of Tuscany and the bridges of Venice every summer in search of the secret of human happiness?

When you dig into the tables supplied with the Bureau's report, the figures tell the hidden story: In the year to June 1998, 61,000 Australian travellers said the land where they spent the most time was Italy. In the year to June 2008, 172,500 nominated Italy. Those figures don't include the Australians who popped over to the Mediterranean as part of a trip to Britain.

So travel to Italy has almost trebled in a period when travel to Indonesia has halved and travel to Thailand has doubled. Italy may not get the same numbers as Thailand (403,000 of us went there last financial year), but it has the growth. The boom is on.

This is as it should be. Australia is, after all, Italy's most successful colony since the Roman Empire.

Go to Comments to tell us your favourite country in the world, and why you like to visit it.

• by David Dale at 04:25 AM
• Comments (10)

WHO WE ARE: A small step from stardom to politics

For the viewers' verdict on the most f---able people on Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 24/8/2008
As usual, this column stands corrected by its readers. Last week we nominated Australia's sexiest politicians and speculated on who should play them in the movies (working from the advice given to the President of East Timor, Jose Ramos Horta, that if you look for inner beauty, Amanda Vanstone is like Nicole Kidman).

We argued, for example, that Tom Cruise is Brendan Nelson, Cate Blanchett is Julia Gillard (unless she is Peter Costello), Brad Pitt is Kevin Rudd, and Gwyneth Paltrow is Belinda Neal. Alert reader DJ scolded us for ignoring a former candidate for Liberal leadership, and suggested: "Chopper Read could play Tony Abbott, then at least on the screen he could have a softer, more likeable persona. Michael Costa could be played by Jabba the Hut."

Then a reader who wishes to be known as "Dep's Girl" thought we had neglected the other side of federal parliament: "I think our sexiest pollie hands down at the moment is Foreign Minister Stephen Smith. And I think it would be a safe bet to assume that the US Secretary of State has something approaching a crush on him. There is no other explanation for her recent bizarre visit to Perth (I can only imagine how hurt Alexander Downer is at Condy's betrayal). As to who would play him in a movie -- Clive Owen, perhaps?"

Several readers were exercised by who should play the NSW Health Minister Reba Meagher, with most votes going to Paris Hilton. But Gerard R had a different use for the heiress's talents: "Morris Iemma should be played by Paris Hilton -- both are comprehensively useless to everyone. Mark Latham to be played by Mike Tyson. Kevin Rudd to be played by Ian McDiarmid (the Emperor from Star Wars). Philip Ruddock to be played by a mannequin."

Kate was among several readers to spot this likeness: "If we were going on looks alone, cult actor and father of Laura Palmer in Twin Peaks, Ray Wise, would have to play Dr Nelson. The likeness is uncanny."

But Matt K added: "Then again, Brendan also bears more than a passing resemblance to Brain from the cartoon Pinky and the Brain." Mel Keenan was politically even-handed: "Surely, Tilda Swinton as Julia Gillard. And Dame Margaret Rutherford as Alexander Downer."

Paul suggested: "Daniel Craig is Peter Debnam, Jodie Foster is Maxine McKew, Angelina Jolie is Julia Gillard, Michael Caine is Peter Costello, Montgomery Burns is Bob Carr." MRJ suggested: "John Wayne as Wilson Tuckey. Not very intelligent, doesn't think before he speaks or acts, sees violence as an appropriate method of conflict resolution."

And Steve went for "Cadel Evans is John Della Bosca, Dolly Parton is Julie Bishop, David St Hubins is Brendan Nelson, Steve Buscemi is Michael Costa, F. Murray Abraham is Tony Abbott."

If you want the last word on this game, before the column gets back to serious issues of national identity, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 09:14 AM
• Comments (1)

The Who We Are update: Week 34

This week of the blog is now a heritage item - worth studying but not current. For the latest discussion, go to to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
For the viewers' verdict on the most f---able people on Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
Announcing this column's new competition: Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to predict, from the vast array of new programs currently being promoted by the networks, which will be the first to get the axe, and how many weeks it will last.

The notion was suggested by alert reader Darren. If you go to Comments, below, you'll see his nomination of Taken Out as this year's answer to Yasmin's Getting Married. But you may have other ideas -- Make Me A Supermodel? Hole In The Wall? Packed to the Rafters? The Strip? Rush? Jamie Durie's new gardening show? Register your prediction via Comments and be in line for a glamorous prize when the axe falls.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,986,000 592,000 578,000 359,000 197,000 259,000
2 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D15 PRIMETIME Network 7 1,687,000 510,000 524,000 272,000 167,000 215,000
3 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D15 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,445,000 464,000 513,000 193,000 163,000 113,000
4 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D15 FRINGE Network 7 1,368,000 511,000 379,000 219,000 120,000 139,000
5 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,090,000 305,000 311,000 219,000 83,000 172,000
6 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,004,000 256,000 315,000 227,000 106,000 100,000
7 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D15 LATE MORNING Network 7 939,000 294,000 327,000 130,000 89,000 99,000
8 NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VEGAS VACATION -RPT Network 9 917,000 278,000 273,000 149,000 93,000 124,000
9 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D15 AFTERNOON Network 7 880,000 333,000 289,000 125,000 64,000 69,000
10 ABC NEWS-SA Network ABC1 847,000 248,000 234,000 143,000 102,000 120,000
11 THE BILL Network ABC1 725,000 196,000 217,000 124,000 86,000 102,000
16 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 497,000 77,000 271,000 65,000 47,000 37,000
21 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Network TEN 447,000 38,000 227,000 17,000 70,000 95,000

• by David Dale at 03:37 AM
• Comments (74)

The Who We Are update: Week 36

This week of the blog is now a heritage item. To join the latest discussion on Australian popular culture, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss the best lines ever written for Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,401,000 430,000 383,000 298,000 118,000 171,000
2 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,143,000 271,000 406,000 225,000 105,000 136,000
3 TEN'S AFL FINALS 2008: 2ND ELIM. FINAL SYDNEY V KANGAROOS Network TEN 1,100,000 186,000 594,000 82,000 125,000 113,000
4 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 993,000 269,000 331,000 225,000 92,000 75,000
5 ZATHURA: A SPACE ADVENTURE Network 9 921,000 246,000 270,000 178,000 114,000 113,000
6 TEN NEWS AT FIVE SAT Network TEN 885,000 208,000 465,000 118,000 93,000
7 ABC NEWS-SAT Network ABC1 865,000 318,000 259,000 198,000 90,000
8 TEN'S AFL FINALS 2008: 1ST ELIM. FINAL ADELAIDE V COLLINGWOOD Network TEN 801,000 96,000 387,000 63,000 142,000 112,000
9 HELLBOY Network 9 725,000 244,000 210,000 122,000 75,000 74,000
10 GARDENING AUSTRALIA Network ABC1 673,000 251,000 192,000 149,000 80,000
11 The BILL Network ABC1 668,000 242,000 205,000 146,000 75,000
14 PARALYMPIC GAMES BEIJING 2008 OPENING CEREMONY Network ABC1 511,000 185,000 136,000 66,000 49,000 76,000
17 M-PRETTY WOMAN Network 7 487,000 315,000 172,000
19 MYTHBUSTERS Network SBS 381,000 100,000 112,000 72,000 43,000 54,000
40 ROCKWIZ Network SBS 199,000 60,000 62,000 37,000 23,000 17,000

• by David Dale at 12:20 AM
• Comments (100)

The Who We Are update: Week 35

This week of the blog is now a heritage item - worth studying but not current. For the latest discussion, go to to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
For the viewers' verdict on the most f---able people on television, go to The Tribal Mind
To learn why New Zealand should become part of Australia, go to Who We Are.

What Australia watched, Saturday August 30
RNK Description STN Network Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,437,000 403,000 402,000 317,000 91,000 224,000
2 M-THE INCREDIBLES Network 7 997,000 319,000 264,000 198,000 88,000 128,000
3 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 953,000 338,000 263,000 128,000 109,000 114,000
4 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 952,000 268,000 261,000 211,000 121,000 91,000
5 ABC NEWS-SAT Network ABC1 904,000 276,000 274,000 134,000 112,000 107,000
6 THE BILL Network ABC1 876,000 270,000 255,000 140,000 103,000 108,000
7 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 843,000 127,000 428,000 43,000 125,000 121,000
14 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Network TEN 654,000 59,000 300,000 28,000 151,000 116,000
23 STAR WARS: EPISODE VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI RPT Network TEN 335,000 113,000 79,000 40,000 55,000 48,000
24 MYTHBUSTERS Network SBS 332,000 121,000 93,000 48,000 45,000 25,000
36 ROCKWIZ Network SBS 248,000 68,000 92,000 39,000 22,000 26,000
40 SEVEN'S R.U: TRI-NATIONS: S A V AUS Network 7 225,000 97,000 29,000 53,000 19,000 27,000
Continued here

• by David Dale at 10:10 AM
• Comments (89)

WHO WE ARE: In the eye of the beholder

One of the great mysteries of modern diplomacy is who told the President of East Timor, Jose Ramos Horta, that Amanda Vanstone looked like Nicole Kidman.

To learn why New Zealand should become part of Australia, go to Younger, sexier, smarter.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 17/10/2008
One of the great mysteries of modern diplomacy is who told the President of East Timor, Jose Ramos Horta, that Amanda Vanstone looked like Nicole Kidman. It's such a breathtaking proposition that it causes us to see politicians in a whole new way, and opens up today's topic: who are Australia's sexiest politicians and who should play them in the movies?

In an interview with Andrew Denton on the ABC, President Ramos Horta recalled that a couple of years back he'd sought advice on how to suggest a guest worker scheme to Immigration Minister Vanstone, whom he had never met. Someone told him: "Invite her for dinner -- she looks like Nicole Kidman."

Ramos Horta continued: "So I wrote to her, a diplomatic letter but with some hints of romance, meaning I was very warm towards her ... I was a total failure in trying to seduce Amanda Vanstone, she was not terribly impressed.''

So where did the Kidman-Vanstone comparison come from? My theory is the mysterious adviser had fallen under the spell that afflicted Jack Black in the movie Shallow Hal. The magic allows Black to see the inner beauty in everyone, so when he looks at a woman of substantial proportions, he sees Gwyneth Paltrow.

Lets put ourselves under the same spell and cast an eye over the parliaments of Australia. Here's my first attempt.

Australia's sexiest politicians and their inner stars
If Nicole Kidman is Amanda Vanstone, then ...
Tom Cruise is Brendan Nelson -- although he could also be Malcolm Turnbull, unless ...
Russell Crowe is Malcolm Turnbull.
Cate Blanchett is Julia Gillard -- although, having successfully played Bob Dylan, she could be Peter Costello.
Brad Pitt is Kevin Rudd.
Abbie Cornish is Tanya Plibersek (see below).
Vince Colosimo is Morris Iemma.
Helen Mirren is Bronwyn Bishop.
Ralph Fiennes is Paul Keating.
Cornelia Frances is Julie Bishop.
Bruce Willis is Peter Garrett.
Meryl Streep is Maxine McKew.
Hugh Jackman is Wayne Swan.
K. D. Lang is Penny Wong.
Hugo Weaving is Bob Brown.
Morgan Freeman is John Howard.

You see how it works. Just look for the inner beauty.

I had the most trouble with Belinda Neal, whose biopic would be titled The Iguana Intervention. Lindsay Lohan? Noni Hazlehurst? And then I realised I had to go back to the movie that inspired this whole thing. Of course -- Belinda Neal is Gwyneth Paltrow.

To nominate Australia's sexiest politicians and their true star selves, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 06:04 AM
• Comments (17)

The Who We Are update: Week 33

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For the latest media discussion, go here
To learn why New Zealand should become part of Australia, go to Younger, sexier, smarter.
To discuss why Amanda Vanstone is like Nicole Kidman, go to Who We Are.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 PRIMETIME Network 7 1,935,000 623,000 574,000 352,000 170,000 216,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,925,000 599,000 546,000 315,000 190,000 275,000
3 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 FRINGE Network 7 1,336,000 453,000 370,000 238,000 111,000 164,000
4 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 LATE MORNING Network 7 1,233,000 318,000 424,000 223,000 112,000 157,000
5 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,199,000 417,000 390,000 155,000 147,000 89,000
6 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 AFTERNOON Network 7 1,198,000 386,000 363,000 248,000 90,000 112,000
7 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,133,000 286,000 360,000 238,000 141,000 109,000
8 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,006,000 265,000 310,000 212,000 96,000 123,000
9 ABC NEWS-SAT Network ABC1 795,000 211,000 254,000 136,000 95,000 99,000
10 THE BILL Network ABC1 746,000 262,000 199,000 112,000 82,000 90,000
16 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 571,000 87,000 294,000 66,000 67,000 58,000
20 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Network TEN 412,000 32,000 154,000 20,000 121,000 85,000
30 STAR WARS: EPISODE IV - A NEW HOPE RPT Network TEN 286,000 54,000 96,000 56,000 37,000 43,000
40 ICE ROAD TRUCKERS Network TEN 189,000 189,000
70 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 20: PORT ADELAIDE VS COLLINGWOOD Network 7 82,000 47,000 35,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

• by David Dale at 05:14 AM
• Comments (69)

The Who We Are Update: Week 32

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For the latest discussion, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss the most desirable people on Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind.
To learn why New Zealand should become part of Australia, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
On Friday night an average of 3.3 million people in the mainland capitals watched the opening ceremony between 10 pm and 2am. Seven reports that the peak audience was 4.4 million early in the coverage, and 2.5 million were still watching when the Australians marched in at the end of the event.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 2,218,000 683,000 621,000 448,000 187,000 280,000
2 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D1 PRIMETIME Network 7 2,214,000 719,000 553,000 476,000 201,000 265,000
3 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D1 FRINGE Network 7 1,717,000 541,000 494,000 330,000 166,000 187,000
4 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D1 AFTERNOON Network 7 1,205,000 362,000 346,000 241,000 128,000 129,000
5 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D1 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,071,000 353,000 333,000 177,000 108,000 101,000
6 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,033,000 254,000 296,000 233,000 145,000 104,000
7 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D1 LATE MORNING Network 7 1,030,000 250,000 358,000 155,000 134,000 133,000
8 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 886,000 194,000 250,000 212,000 117,000 114,000
11 THE BILL-EV Network ABC1 726,000 243,000 182,000 120,000 86,000 96,000
12 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 650,000 82,000 334,000 31,000 73,000 130,000
21 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Network TEN 417,000 44,000 200,000 43,000 80,000 51,000
26 BEIJING 2008: MENS CYCLING ROAD RACE Network SBS 347,000 110,000 124,000 48,000 37,000 28,000
31 BEIJING 2008: WOMENS FOOTBALL SWE V ARG Network SBS 300,000 109,000 92,000 52,000 30,000 16,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

• by David Dale at 06:23 PM
• Comments (80)

WHO WE ARE: How to become younger, sexier, smarter

To discuss the dawning of The Age of the Brainy Blockbuster, go to The Tribal Mind

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 10/8/2008
Two sightings could be a coincidence. But three sightings is a trend, a movement, a cultural shift, a tipping point in the zeitgeist. And that is what's happening this year with Brand New Zealand. It's so hot right now that Australia needs to move fast to make the offer of national amalgamation. Letting the Kiwis become one state of Australia is not going to be enough. They're getting so big for their boots they may not even be satisfied with two states.

Recently the ABC's most popular program, Spicks and Specks, held a contest between music experts from New Zealand and music experts from Australia. Guess who won? Then the ABC's second most popular program, The Gruen Transfer, commissioned two ad agencies to develop a campaign to sell the idea of Australia invading and absorbing New Zealand, followed by a campaign designed to divert world tourists from Australia to NZ.

And while that was going on, Channel Ten was showing The Flight of the Conchords, a US hit series about two musicians trying to succeed in New York. One plotline involved the boys being refused service at a fruit cart because they were New Zealanders. Asked to explain this racism, the cart owner said he hated convict dingo-lovers. Oh, you're mistaking us for Australians, said the Conchords. The cart owner softened immediately, gave them free fruit, and joined them in making rude gestures outside the Australian consulate.

Although Aussies tend to talk about Kiwis the way the English have traditionally described the Irish, The French discuss the Belgians and the Americans discuss the Canadians, the Kiwis actually consider themselves our intellectual superiors. The former NZ Prime Minister Robert Muldoon remarked that every time a New Zealander moves to Australia, it raises the average IQ of both countries. He cleverly packaged the notion that Australians are dumb with the notion that you'd have to be stupid to leave New Zealand. We can't test the second proposition, but the Bureau of Statistics has recently provided some clues on the first.

According to the "International Comparisons" section of the bureau's Social Trends report for 2008, 21.5 per cent of the NZ population and 19.5 per cent of the Australian population are under the age of 15. So they're younger than us. They're also having more unprotected intercourse - NZ's fertility rate is 2 babies per woman, compared to our 1.8.

The real comparison comes in the literacy testing done in high schools last year. On reading skills, Australian teenagers scored 514, Kiwi teens scored 521. On mathematical literacy, it was A 520, NZ 522. And on scientific literacy, it was A 527, NZ 530.

Clearly the addition of 4 million Kiwis to Australia's population would make us younger, sexier and smarter (as well as letting us claim Sam Neill as an Australian actor and Lord of the Rings as a great Australian trilogy).

So we'll need to offer them three states. And we'd better start practising to make them welcome. Say after me: "Buy some fush 'n' chups for the cet in the het".

To discuss the amalgamation of Australia and New Zealand, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 04:42 PM
• Comments (4)

WHO WE ARE: Myth congeniality

To discuss the most desirable people on Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind.
For regular updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 3/8/2008
Well, the joke's on us. What we'd dismissed as an urban myth turns out to have been true all along. It makes you wonder how many other classic pieces of Sydney scuttlebutt might also be reliable.

I'm talking about the rumour, passed around for years, that the NSW Premier and the NSW Police Commissioner were each receiving $5000 a week in a brown paper bag for taking no action against illegal gambling casinos. I was one of those who scoffed that it was too fantastic a conspiracy theory, even for a crooked capital like Sydney.

Last week Alan Saffron, son of the dead entrepreneur Abe Saffron, declared that it was an accurate portrait of NSW politics in the early 1970s. In his book Gentle Satan, he also confirmed the suspicion that many horseraces of the time were fixed, sometimes as a "courtesy" to the premier. It was the most significant reality check since the courts proved the NSW minister for corrective services really was taking money to let certain prisoners out early.

Sydney is the urban myth capital of Australia, if not the world. Visitors often observe that Sydney people have only two topics of conversation: real estate and malicious rumours about the rich and famous.

The habit of scandalmongering goes back to convict days, when the only way the inmates of the prison colony could get back at their jailers was to spread tales about their greed, perversion and hypocrisy. We all know what's going on between Governor Phillip and Bennelong, don't we? Those rages that Governor Macquarie keeps having - they're caused by syphilis. Everyone knows why these dreadful buildings are going up around the Harbour - Francis Greenway is in the pocket of the developers. What is John Macarthur doing out there at Parramatta with all those sheep?

And so it continued through to the 1990s, when I was writing a daily newspaper column and regularly received calls from people who knew cousins of the best friends of people closely connected to bizarre scandals. I became familiar with such Sydney characters as ...

The businessman who had won his knighthood in a poker game with the premier.
The former politician who had turned gay with a violinist from the Sydney Symphony Orchestra.
The lawyer who had strangled his ex-girlfriend's cat because she refused to resume their relationship.
The actress who was born a hermaphrodite and would have have been an actor if the obstetricians had made a different surgical decision.
The former political leader who liked rough sex and who broke a prostitute's jaw in a hotel room.
The TV host who liked to lie under a glass topped coffee table while women stood on it and urinated.
The businessman who flew in a team of prostitutes from California, put them up in a posh Sydney hotel for a week, and then got too busy to avail himself of their services (which, incidentally, raises the question of what you might call such a gathering -- a fanfare of strumpets, a garden of hos, a jam of tarts, an anthology of pros?)
The planning minister who required any developer who met with him to bring a briefcase containing $70,000 and leave it behind when the meeting was over.
The drug squad officers who were reselling the drugs they confiscated and the arson squad officers who were setting the insurance fires they then had to investigate.

They are the campfire fables that bind the urban tribe together. Last week's Saffron revelations suggest some of them might be more than mischievous gossip. But a lot more people will need to die, and a lot more sons will need to write books, before we know for sure if Sydney really is Gotham-before-Batman.

To discuss this, go to Comments.

• by David Dale at 03:56 PM
• Comments (12)

The Tribal Mind: A generation found in space

To learn how Australians spend their new wealth, go to Who We Are

by David Dale
Last week marked the end of Australia's Second Age of television and the start of the Third Age. Two days separated those events. On Monday, Channel Ten farewelled Big Brother, and with it the notion that broadcast television can save its life by targeting viewers aged 16 to 39. On Wednesday, the ABC welcomed iView, and with it the notion that people who own computers need never use their TV sets again. Both hastened the doom of the networks as we know them.

The first age of television lasted from the mid 50s to the mid 80s, a period when the networks made and bought TV shows designed to appeal to everyone. The second age began when Channel Ten decided to limit its audience to viewers aged 16-39, recognising that it could not compete with Nine and Seven for the mass market. The launch of Big Brother in 2001 was the pinnacle of this niche marketing.

But as the Noughties proceeded, the 16-39s came to regard broadcast television as a quaint anachronism. There were too many other things to do. Big Brother didn't fail because Kyle Sandilands is embarrassing and Jackie O is pathetic. It was just a victim of social change (go here to discuss BB's contribution to our culture).

The 16-39s are the lost demographic. They will never again commit to, identify with, or enthuse about any program crafted specifically for them. They still switch on the box sometimes, but they are usually doing something else at the time -- texting, MSNing, surfing the web, loading their iPods, making their own programs for Myface, bookYou or spaCetuBe. And they won't stop doing that when they pass 40.

To the extent that they engage with mainstream television at all, these have been their favourite shows this month: Two and a Half Men, Dexter, Wipeout, How I Met Your Mother, Rove, Big Brother evictions, My Name is Earl, The Simpsons, NCIS, The Gruen Transfer, Good News Week. But if all those programs disappeared from the nightly schedule, the under 40s wouldn't be concerned.

On Wednesday, the ABC demonstrated that it has a better understanding than the commercial networks of the way Australians now expect to consume their entertainments. It launched a website on which anybody with high speed broadband can watch most of the programs currently associated with the ABC, anytime they like, with the capacity to pause, rewind and fast forward.

The ABC's managing director Mark Scott acknowledged that less than half of Australian households at this point have the broadband speed that will show iView at its best. But he pointed out that when the ABC launched radio 2BL in the 1930s, less than ten per cent of Sydney people had suitable wireless receivers, and when ABC television started in 1956, less than five per cent had TV sets. The principle is: "If you build it, they will come". In its first 24 hours, abc.net.au/iview was visited by 58,000 people.

I must say my experience of it has been disappointing: I couldn't find Spicks and Specks on its menu*, and when I clicked on the Pompeii episode of Doctor Who I'd missed two weeks ago, I found the image out of focus and the voices out of sync with the lips. But there were doubtless worse glitches in the early days of radio and television.

The key question is: will the commercial networks react to this by starting their own iViews, or will they keep their heads in the sand and go quietly into that dark night that is less than a decade away?

Go to Comments to tell us what you think they will do.

* Footnote, 11am Monday: The ABC has been in touch to explain that Spicks and Specks is not yet available on iView because they are still negotiating copyright on the music played there. The good news is that they are "working on it". The bad news is that programs will only be available on iView for a limited time, as a condition of agreements between the ABC and the creators. Thus the Pompeii episode of Doctor Who has now been removed.

• by David Dale at 02:08 PM
• Comments (17)

WHO WE ARE: Hey big suspender, what's with the hosiery?

To discuss the next generation of Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind.
For regular updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 27/7/2008
Let's assume for a moment that you are an average Australian, or close to it. You will have noticed that you've become a lot richer over the past ten years -- the Bureau of Statistics tells us your household income is more than 20 per cent higher than in the mid 90s. The question we want to answer today is: How have you been spending all that wealth?

Apparently you've been gambling, eating out more, lavishly furnishing and equipping your house, and buying all sorts of gadgets for communication and entertainment -- computers, big screen televisions, DVD players, iPods and mobile phones for every member of the family except the new baby (being average, you had one of those in your mid 30s).

You now spend $1679 a year on meals in restaurants, cafes, hotels or clubs (up from $1297 in the mid 80s). As the bureau's report, Social Trends 2008, puts it: "The comparatively large increase is consistent with some people electing to 'contract out' meal preparation activity in response to their reduced availability of time from increased employment combined with their expanded spending capacity from higher real income."

You've recently bought an airconditioner, a microwave and a dishwasher (for the rare occasions when you eat at home). The bureau claims that 60 per cent of Australian homes now have some form of air conditioning (up from 30 per cent in the mid 90s), while 42 per cent have a dishwasher (up from 25 per cent) and 90 per cent have a microwave (up from 80).

The research organisation ACNielsen has just added to our understanding of how Australians are spending their new wealth with a chart of the grocery items that have been growing fastest in sales since 2006.

I must admit I'm puzzled by these booms: 1 Chilled baby foods (sales up 790 per cent between 2006 and 2007); 2 Fresh soups (up 43 per cent); 3 Drinks - sports/ energy (up 32); 4 Olive oil (28); 5 Foot care (24); 6 Instant coffee (18); 7 Dairy dips (17); 8 Ice cream (16); 9 Hosiery (16); 10 Canned fruit (16); 11 Bottled water (15); 12 Mouthwash (14); 13 Frozen meals (14); 14 Fresh milk - flavoured (14); 15 Fresh pasta and sauce (13).

Nielsen's Managing Director, Glen Murphy, says the biggest growth areas of the late Noughties are "fresh and natural products -- In recent years, trends in supermarket sales have demonstrated that consumers are increasingly looking for products which support a healthy lifestyle as well as providing convenience."

But that doesn't really explain the increased spending on "hosiery" (because you no longer have to get around in thongs?) or "foot care" (you have blisters from the elegant shoes you can now afford?) or mouthwash (you're worried about the garlic in the pasta sauce?) or flavoured milk (you can now indulge your nostalgia for school days?)

If you can offer a theory that explains all 15 product explosions, please tell us at Comments. I haven't decided yet on a prize for the most interesting explanation. What does one give to the reader who can already afford everything?

• by David Dale at 09:17 AM
• Comments (5)

The Who We Are update: Week 31

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -worthy studying but no longer current. For the latest discussion, go here.
To learn how Australians spend their new wealth, go to Who We Are.
To discuss the next generation of Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
Nine won Thursday, Seven won Friday and at this point in the ratings week, the prime time audience shares stand at: Seven 29.4 per cent, Nine 27.0, Ten 20.0, ABC 18.1, SBS 5.5, so Seven will go into the Olympics marginally ahead for the year.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,360,000 376,000 377,000 372,000 141,000 94,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,200,000 322,000 313,000 231,000 110,000 224,000
3 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,169,000 268,000 361,000 282,000 92,000 166,000
4 ABC NEWS-SAT Network ABC1 959,000 213,000 361,000 164,000 105,000 115,000
5 THE BILL Network ABC1 838,000 263,000 266,000 108,000 105,000 96,000
6 BIG DADDY Network 9 821,000 243,000 204,000 189,000 82,000 103,000
7 WILD AT HEART Network ABC1 791,000 229,000 242,000 140,000 98,000 81,000
8 GARDENING AUSTRALIA Network ABC1 732,000 149,000 288,000 123,000 96,000 77,000
10 SEVEN'S R.U: BLEDISLOE CUP: N Z V AUS Network 7 691,000 342,000 40,000 221,000 19,000 68,000
11 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 644,000 365,000 92,000 97,000 91,000
14 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Network TEN 584,000 50,000 262,000 54,000 127,000 91,000
20 THE VICAR OF DIBLEY Network 7 449,000 249,000 201,000
39 BOWLS: QUEENSLAND OPEN 2008-PM Network ABC1 210,000 53,000 63,000 53,000 27,000 14,000
48 ROCKWIZ RPT Network SBS 164,000 56,000 49,000 22,000 17,000 19,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

• by David Dale at 04:00 AM
• Comments (99)

WHO WE ARE: How Big made Us Better

To discuss whether Batman could beat Indiana Jones, go to The Tribal Mind.
For regular updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

A weekly column about Australia by David Dale, published 20/7/2008
The media pundits reacted with unseemly glee to Channel Ten's decision to axe Big Brother. In emphasising its turkey-slapping, penis-exposing and dwarf-bouncing moments, they failed to credit its greatest contribution to Australian culture: Big Brother, more than any other entertainment of the early Noughties, changed us from passive consumers to active players.

It transformed television from sit-back-and-veg-out technology (like the movies) to sit-forward-and-engage technology (like the computer). And that simple notion -- that individuals can and should make a difference -- expanded into a mindset that made John Howard's 2007 message "Trust me, I know what's best for you" not just useless but actually counterproductive.

Back when the catchcry "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this any more" was popularised by Peter Finch, who played the mad newsreader in the 1970s movie Network, the only way viewers could participate in the process was by switching off the box. The networks could spoonfeed us any old junk because we'd grown up with the assumption that television was a passive medium. Your only role as a couch potato was to let it all wash over you. The comedies even came with cues on when to laugh.

And Channel Nine's attitude to viewers was echoed by the Government's attitude to voters. As the signs in Sydney buses used to say: "Do not speak to the driver whilst vehicle is in motion". Big Brother arrived in 2001 and said "You don't have to take it any more. You can get on your mobile and manipulate this show to evict the characters who annoy you". Viewers responded so eagerly that soon every new program was demanding audience involvement.

These were Australia's most watched series in 2000, the year before BB arrived: Friends, E.R, Better Homes and Gardens, RPA, Renovation Rescue, Blue Heelers, Seachange, Burke's Backyard, 60 Minutes, Who Wants to be a Millionaire. These were Australia's most watched series in 2007: Kath and Kim, Thank God You're Here, Border Security, Dancing With The Stars, RSPCA Animal Rescue, It Takes Two, City Homicide, Australia's Got Talent, The Biggest Loser, Big Brother.

Half the hits of the late Noughties are predicated on audience involvement - that's the legacy of Gretel Killeen and her gang.

Of course, BB created the seeds of its own destruction. Younger viewers became addicted to participation, and mainstream television was unable to satisfy the addiction. The under 40s moved on to DVDs, video games and the internet, creating their own forms of infotainment which they and their friends can manipulate every hour. These days they rarely give a second glance to the three commercial networks, who now resemble a brontosaurus, a T. Rex and a velociraptor battling for the honour of reaching extinction first.

So thankyou Big Brother. You may have been crude and silly and exploitative, but you were a force for liberation. You may actually have helped to make Australia a smarter place.

To discuss this proposition, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 09:39 AM
• Comments (55)

The Who We Are Update: Week 30

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For the latest media discussion, go here
To learn how Australians spend their new wealth, go to Who We Are
To discuss whether Batman could beat Indiana Jones, go to The Tribal Mind

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,219,000 364,000 303,000 271,000 119,000 161,000
2 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,126,000 315,000 317,000 257,000 150,000 88,000
3 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,107,000 309,000 301,000 259,000 107,000 131,000
4 ABC NEWS-SAT Network ABC1 989,000 295,000 324,000 169,000 98,000 104,000
5 SHE'S THE MAN Network 9 971,000 321,000 221,000 214,000 98,000 117,000
6 GARDENING AUSTRALIA Network ABC1 932,000 263,000 265,000 210,000 103,000 92,000
7 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 822,000 99,000 375,000 76,000 166,000 105,000
8 The BILL Network ABC1 791,000 227,000 279,000 112,000 65,000 108,000
9 THE GREAT OUTDOORS Network 7 788,000 278,000 178,000 170,000 64,000 97,000
10 SEVEN'S R.U: BLEDISLOE CUP: AUS V N Z Network 7 727,000 426,000 34,000 216,000 20,000 31,000
11 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Network TEN 688,000 85,000 372,000 54,000 101,000 76,000
15 TOUR DE FRANCE 2008 STAGE 20 Network SBS 587,000 183,000 199,000 61,000 56,000 88,000
28 SHAUN OF THE DEAD RPT Network TEN 305,000 117,000 105,000 21,000 32,000 30,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

• by David Dale at 10:11 AM
• Comments (61)

WHO WE ARE: Miserable without us

To discuss the DVDs Australians love most, go to The Tribal Mind

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 13/7/2008
If Australia didn't exist, what would the British have to look up to? With no daily doses of Neighbours and Home and Away, there'd be no role models of prosperous middle class life in sunny houses inhabited by glowing young people with straight white teeth. The British would have to import Canadian soaps, which would fail utterly to lift them out of their damp squalid lives.

That was how several readers responded to this column's invitation last week to speculate on what the world would be like if there had never been a country called Australia. Other readers condemned it as an exercise in vanity. As Michael McGrath observed: "What unbelievable arrogance to think that Australia counts for much of anything. Once again we have a much higher vision of our own self importance. With only 20 million people we think we can push the major economies around. Lets get real."

Peter B countered with praise for "Australia's attachment to the 'Fair go'. This has had a dramatic effect on politics around the world. The secret ballot developed in South Australia and Victoria is still called the "Australian ballot" in the USA. We also, along with NZ, were the first to emancipate women and give them the vote. Compulsory, preferential voting, the Electoral Commission, the Hare-Clarke multi-seat voting system are all major factors in keeping our democracy strong and responsible."

Alex agreed that "Yes, the world may not miss us, but what they will miss is a good 50 year (if not greater) time lag in technology that we would have invented. Think about it, if we didn't exist, there'd be no fridge to bung our food in, no esky to replace the non-existent fridge, no penicillin to cure our ailments, no lifesavers to pull us out of the water and most importantly no cold beer/Sunday BBQ. All this won't evolve until some smart pup from New Zealand decides that there is more to life than sitting watching the sheep! And that may take some time ..."

Other readers took the game less seriously. Spike pointed out that "the map of Tassie would have to be described by other more vulgar names". Robert suggested: "London's pubs would be shut for want of staff. Chinese and Japanese industry would shut for want of iron and coal. Cricket would be a game known for its civility and good sportsmanship. The US would set off alone on its next pointless military campaign."

Colin (living in the US) said: "The World would be a much sadder place without Australia. No visiting the best harbour in the world. No more cracking road trips with a hire car cutting across the deserted red desert. No more of the best pies in the world. No more stunning desert night skies. No bushtucker man. No more of some of the best rock music in the World."

A reader who wished to be known as "Marakesh" said "Most countries in the world would have to find another tree to plant in their millions; the worlds landscape would be vastly different without Australia's greatest export, the GUM TREE. There is hardly a country in the world which hasn't taken to the eucalypt. In fact in some countries, it is now the dominant species. Brazil, China, Madagascar, South Africa all produce more eucalypt timber than Australia!!"

Ross added "A Prime Minister who held the world beer sculling record for many years. That's something to be proud of." Bigbill speculated that "Pavlova would still exist, but it would be known as 'thut dusurt wuth thuh cream in thuh muddle, 'ay'."

And the alarming notion "No Rolf Harris! The entire UK would go barmy for lack of entertainment!" came from "Timey Kangaroo-Downsport", while Penny Auburn reminded us that "An Aussie invented the ring pull can ... it doesn't get much more important than that. Just think of all the time we don't have to waste on can openers."

Perhaps, but there must be more. If you can think of them, join the discussion at Comments

• by David Dale at 03:20 PM
• Comments (40)

WHO WE ARE: But what if we weren't here?

To discuss why Pay TV programs have so few viewers, go to The Tribal Mind

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 6/7/2008
In the movie It's a Wonderful Life, an angel shows a depressed Jimmy Stewart what the world would be like if he had never been born. It's a much grimmer place.

Australians are feeling a bit down at the moment, according to the latest Morgan poll, with a big drop in consumer confidence and only 48 per cent saying the country is "heading in the right direction". So I'm going to emulate the angel and update a list I started making at the turn of this century aimed at describing what the world would be like if Australia had never been born -- if there had been no large land mass for the Portuguese, Dutch, French and English to bump into when they sailed southwards ...

There would be no cure for 80 per cent of the world's stomach ulcers (WA's Barry Marshall and Robin Warren discovered that antibiotics kill a stomach bug called helicobacter).

Gwyneth Paltrow would have won the Oscar for playing Virginia Woolf in The Hours. She would have married Tom Cruise but then he'd have divorced her and married Katie Holmes.

The term "fatal shore" would refer to the east coast of Canada, where the British would have dumped surplus convicts.

The world's strangest animal would be the giraffe.

The Japanese would be free to hunt whales all over the Pacific (but there'd be a lot more ocean in which the whales could hide).

The most beautiful coral reef in the world would be in the Red Sea, off Egypt.

Olympic swimming events would include breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly and dog paddle, but no freestyle (originally called the Australian Crawl, in this universe).

Tina Arena, Natalie Imbruglia and Vanessa Amorosi would be big names on the Italian music charts.

There would be no rugby league and the world's best rugby team would be England.

Peach Melba would be known as peaches with strawberry sauce.

At least 60,000 more people would be deaf (Victoria's Graeme Clark developed the cochlear implant).

Liza Minelli would have married a different homosexual.

The Bee Gees would have recorded Stayin Alive, but not Spicks and Specks (which would not be the name of a TV show).

Morningtown Ride and The Carnival Is Over would have been early hits for Abba.

There would be no Fox network and hence no Simpsons.

AC/DC would refer only to electricity.

Timor and New Guinea would be part of Indonesia.

Californians would always win the World Surfing Championships.

There would be nobody in the world called Kylie, let alone Dannii.

The animal liberation movement would have no bible (Victorian bio-ethicist Peter Singer wrote Animal Rights and Human Obligations).

The only thing called a thong would be a form of underwear.

The British would have to carry their wine to parties in glass flagons, because there would be no cardboard casks.

The world's melanoma rate would be much lower.

Mt. Kosciuszko would be in Nepal.

Russell Crowe would have won an oscar for Gladiator, but never would have made The Sum of Us or Romper Stomper. Mel Gibson would have trained at the Julliard School, New York. He'd have made Lethal Weapon and Braveheart, but not Mad Max.

Pavlova would be indisputably a New Zealand creation.

The kiwi kiddy band The Wuggles would be a huge hit in America, as would a US sitcom based on the classic Auckland comedy Keth end Kum.

OK, now it's just getting silly, and we've barely begun. If you can think of any other ways the world would be different without Australia, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 03:33 PM
• Comments (72)

The Who We Are update: Week 28

This week of the blog is now history. For the latest media discussion, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss why Pay TV programs have so few viewers, go to The Tribal Mind

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,368,000 416,000 352,000 281,000 125,000 193,000
2 THE VICAR OF DIBLEY Network 7 1,237,000 277,000 403,000 237,000 136,000 184,000
3 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,172,000 268,000 401,000 241,000 152,000 110,000
4 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,155,000 279,000 361,000 224,000 149,000 142,000
5 THE GREAT OUTDOORS Network 7 926,000 253,000 270,000 205,000 82,000 116,000
6 ABC NEWS-SAT Network ABC1 880,000 227,000 279,000 149,000 96,000 129,000
7 THE WIZARD OF OZ -RPT Network 9 878,000 214,000 297,000 153,000 80,000 134,000
8 TEN NEWS AT FIVE SAT Network TEN 869,000 161,000 282,000 161,000 110,000 155,000
9 THE BILL Network ABC1 748,000 229,000 226,000 140,000 61,000 92,000
10 M-THE RECRUIT Network 7 725,000 162,000 214,000 157,000 76,000 116,000
11 BATMAN BEGINS -RPT Network 9 720,000 172,000 264,000 134,000 67,000 82,000
12 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 704,000 357,000 131,000 120,000 96,000
13 GARDENING AUSTRALIA Network ABC1 658,000 156,000 226,000 112,000 80,000 84,000
14 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Network TEN 647,000 67,000 293,000 34,000 132,000 121,000
15 ABC NEWS UP-DATE Network ABC1 626,000 193,000 198,000 98,000 49,000 87,000
16 WILD AT HEART Network ABC1 625,000 181,000 171,000 148,000 58,000 69,000
17 MIDSOMER MURDERS RPT Network ABC1 614,000 168,000 200,000 102,000 60,000 83,000

• by David Dale at 06:12 AM
• Comments (67)

The Who We Are Update: Week 27

To learn what the world would be like if there were no Australia, go to Who We Are.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,251,000 278,000 330,000 291,000 128,000 224,000
2 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,176,000 327,000 332,000 238,000 161,000 117,000
3 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,127,000 329,000 264,000 242,000 115,000 178,000
4 THE GREAT OUTDOORS Network 7 948,000 241,000 257,000 229,000 102,000 120,000
5 TEN NEWS AT FIVE SAT Network TEN 892,000 227,000 246,000 175,000 94,000 151,000
6 ABC NEWS-SAT Network ABC1 885,000 246,000 274,000 182,000 78,000 105,000
7 STUART LITTLE 2 -RPT Network 9 836,000 282,000 187,000 158,000 99,000 110,000
8 THE BILL Network ABC1 795,000 224,000 235,000 155,000 79,000 103,000
9 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 775,000 123,000 387,000 50,000 101,000 114,000
12 MIDSOMER MURDERS RPT Network ABC1 671,000 195,000 202,000 122,000 79,000 72,000
13 WILD AT HEART Network ABC1 668,000 217,000 141,000 171,000 64,000 75,000
14 THE WEDDING SINGER Network 9 658,000 260,000 172,000 131,000 94,000
17 SEVEN'S R.U: AUS V FRA Network 7 535,000 262,000 37,000 189,000 17,000 29,000
25 WIMBLEDON WOMEN'S FINAL Network 9 422,000 138,000 117,000 57,000 53,000 57,000

• by David Dale at 04:07 PM
• Comments (63)

The Who We Are update: Week 29

This week of the blog is now history. For the latest media discusion, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss the DVDs Australians love most, go to The Tribal Mind
To discuss what the world would be like without Australia, go to Who We Are

The ratings race, updated 10am Sunday
Seven won Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, while Nine won Sunday, Thursday and Saturday. At the end of the week, the prime time audience shares are: Seven 27.3 per cent, Nine 26.3, Ten 21.5, ABC 17.6, SBS 7.2.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description STN Network Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,295,000 364,000 353,000 270,000 145,000 163,000
2 FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,168,000 337,000 320,000 218,000 137,000 156,000
3 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,072,000 277,000 380,000 178,000 141,000 96,000
4 ABC NEWS-SAT Network ABC1 892,000 254,000 238,000 194,000 88,000 118,000
5 RAISE YOUR VOICE Network 9 883,000 270,000 193,000 201,000 88,000 131,000
6 THE GREAT OUTDOORS Network 7 828,000 281,000 190,000 159,000 92,000 106,000
7 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 766,000 433,000 79,000 112,000 142,000
8 TEN NEWS AT FIVE SAT Network TEN 756,000 229,000 268,000 148,000 110,000
9 THE BILL Network ABC1 747,000 187,000 224,000 120,000 83,000 133,000
10 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Network TEN 723,000 68,000 397,000 57,000 98,000 102,000
11 GARDENING AUSTRALIA Network ABC1 720,000 169,000 213,000 157,000 85,000 96,000
16 SEVEN'S R.U: TRI-NATIONS: AUS V S A Network 7 610,000 342,000 34,000 176,000 17,000 41,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)
Continued here

• by David Dale at 03:56 PM
• Comments (66)

WHO WE ARE: In joyous screams then let us sing

To learn the difference between men and women, go to The Tribal Mind.
A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 29/6/2008.
These words are symbolic of the culture and identity of our nation: "For most of my life I lived a delusion./ Yes, material gain has caused me confusion./ But slowly in time I learned that my place is/ To tell all that I meet the glory that God is."

They come, of course, from Billy Thorpe's song Most People I Know Think That I'm Crazy, which has just been selected by the Film and Sound Archive in Canberra for preservation in the National Registry of Recorded Sound. It was a bold choice by the Archive, because it dramatically broadens the definition of what may constitute a "national song". Compare it with these lines:

"Free and friendly nation,/ Born of our own hand,/ Peace our greatest virtue,/ Mighty southern land./ Valiant into battle,/ Courage to the end,/ Standing firm for freedom,/ Loyal southern friend./ Nature's earthly heaven,/ Glory for our eyes,/ Ours alone those treasures,/ Under Southern Skies."

That's from the "national song" written last year by Amanda Vanstone, the former Minister for Immigration who became Australia's ambassador to Italy. She wasn't proposing it as a replacement for the anthem (Advance Australia Fair) but for use on less formal occasions. We can picture her at this very moment winning trade deals by crooning those lines to Silvio Berlusconi (to the tune of Land of Hope and Glory).

He no doubt responds with "Italian brothers, Italy has arisen,/ With the helmet of Scipio on her head./ Where is Victory?/ God has made her the slave of Rome./ Let us gather in legions./ We are ready to die./ Italy has called" (from the national anthem of Italy, which has not felt the need to update words written in 1847).

Personally, I'd discard Vanstone's stirring sentiments and celebrate my patriotism with one of the numbers selected for preservation in the National Registry of Recorded Sound. Thorpie's "personal anthem" joined Slim Dusty's Pub With No Beer; Men At Work's Down Under; the Aeroplane Jelly jingle; Johnny O'Keefe's She's My Baby; The Saints' I'm Stranded; a 1927 recording of Waltzing Matilda; The Easybeats' Friday on My Mind; Peter Dawson's Along The Road To Gundagai and We Have Survived by No Fixed Address (go to the registry to hear them).

The Archive revealed that the selection criteria included "artistic excellence, historical relevance, technical or scientific achievement, and prominence in shaping Australia's culture and identity."

Last year this column suggested eight candidates for the title of "national song". They were Tie me Kangaroo Down Sport, Down Under, Shaddup You Face, I've Been Everywhere, Man, Pub with No Beer, the Neighbours theme, Australiana (the Austen Tayshus pun collection) and The Sounds of Then (which includes the wonderful line "Laugh and say: 'This is Australia'."). Readers voted solidly to enlarge the list with the Skippy theme, Farewell Aunty Jack, Great Southern Land, I Still Call Australia Home, We Are One But We Are Many, and My Island Home.

Now that the Archive has broadened the definition to include rock songs and ballads that make no mention of the land or its icons, we should vote again. Go to comments to offer your new nominations.

To discuss why TV is programmed for people over 55, go to The Tribal Mind

• by David Dale at 09:22 AM
• Comments (63)

WHO WE ARE: Getting all choked up about snot blocks

To discuss why Australians are in retreat from reality, go to The Tribal Mind

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 22/6/2008
The snot block, the pie floater, the baked bean jaffle, the kebab at 2am, the froggie cake, the bread roll stuffed with Twisties, the scallop pie, butter chicken, the spearmint milkshake: Who says there's no such thing as Australian cuisine?

By adopting and adapting the best takeaways the world can offer, we've created a fast food mecca in the southern hemisphere. That was the consensus among readers who reacted to this column's proposition last week that the nation's greatest achievements in portable edibles were the Chiko roll, the hamburger with beetroot, the pizza with pineapple, hot chips, pad Thai, potato scallops, Neenish tarts, and the gosleme (which I was firmly told should be spelt gozleme).

Some readers introduced regional surprises. "Being from Broken Hill," writes Matthew Huxtable, "our entry for world cuisine is cheeseslaw -- grated carrot, grated cheese (pref. that Kraft foil-coated block that I don't even know you can still buy but was in the normal supermarket aisles and not the fridged section) and coleslaw dressing. Delicious! Best thing with your sandwiches, as its stickiness stopped all the filling from falling out.

"Also, now that my family lives in Victoria, let's not forget the vanilla slice, but not any vanilla slice but the Snot Block. It may not be an Australian dish but we've surely renamed it as ours - 'Fancy a Snot Block, your Majesty?'"

LR says she "wouldn't go past a sausage sandwich - I swear my husband only wants to go to the local hardware store on a saturday morning so he can get one. And you really can't go past the hot chip roll - some like it with sauce or gravy, but for me, just lots of chicken salt is perfect!


"And if you want to include Asian food - I would think that good old butter chicken, or even beef in black bean sauce are more common than pad Thai or gosleme."

Noting that the study of fast food is not all ancient history, a reader who wished to be known as Outbackdee reflected on "memorable takeaway moments from my childhood in the late 80's through to the 90's: Meat pie and tomato sauce; Kebab with hummus, chilli and bbq sauce; Pork roll from the local bakery; Cheese and bacon bread fresh from the oven at 730 am on the way to the train station; And the great staple of Chinese takeaway, sweet and sour pork ... that sweet syrupy mess of fried pork goodness. I craved this the most when backpacking through Europe."

Nicholas was overcome with national pride: "Among foods substantially invented in Australia, I'm stunned no-one's mentioned the lamington or pavlova. I am happy to agree with chocolate crackles, and raise an eyebrow at the fact no-one's answered David's question [on the origin of the neenish tart]. According to my sources, neenish tarts were named for their inventor, Ruth Nienish of New South Wales. Bugger the stump-jump plough, be proud of what matters."

If you are, and want to continue this discussion, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 09:52 AM
• Comments (45)

The Who We Are update: Week 26

This week of the blog is now a heritage item - worth studying but no longer current. For the latest media analysis, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss why TV is programmed for people over 55, go to The Tribal Mind
To discuss Australia's finest fast foods, go to Who We Are

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday June 29
Nine won Thursday and will win the week, because Seven's success on Friday with Better Homes and Gardens was not enough to counter the huge head start provided for Nine by Schapelle Corby. Nine averaged 28.8 per cent of the prime time audience for the week, while Seven got 27.7, Ten 19.9, ABC 17.5 and SBS 6.0.

In the chart below, we provide the last ever audience figure for Million Dollar Wheel of Fortune, and for its rivals Deal or No Deal and Ten's News At Five. The figures explain why the wheel was axed. But somehow we don't think Antiques Roadshow will do much better, even if it is better suited to the hot new demographic target of over-55s.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,351,000 324,000 397,000 304,000 136,000 190,000
2 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,180,000 288,000 402,000 248,000 105,000 138,000
3 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,105,000 307,000 360,000 213,000 121,000 104,000
4 CATS & DOGS -RPT Network 9 1,030,000 273,000 341,000 225,000 113,000 77,000
5 THE GREAT OUTDOORS Network 7 967,000 244,000 282,000 213,000 116,000 112,000
8 THE BILL Network ABC1 737,000 212,000 233,000 138,000 64,000 91,000
9 BRIDE AND PREJUDICE -RPT Network 9 708,000 206,000 248,000 107,000 70,000 76,000
12 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 613,000 334,000 39,000 149,000 91,000
13 THE VICAR OF DIBLEY Network 7 597,000 288,000 105,000 204,000
14 SEVEN'S R.U: AUS V FRA Network 7 587,000 309,000 34,000 210,000 18,000 16,000
19 ANTIQUES ROADSHOW -RPT Network 9 465,000 154,000 221,000 91,000
23 SUPER TROUPERS: THIRTY YEARS OF ABBA Network 7 372,000 195,000 73,000 104,000
30 BOWLS: PBA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS Network ABC1 284,000 72,000 89,000 66,000 40,000 17,000
31 ABSOLUTELY MELBOURNE - ALL YOU CAN EAT Network 7 277,000 Not shown 277,000 Not shown Not shown
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

• by David Dale at 08:32 AM
• Comments (84)

The Who We Are update: Week 25

This week of David Dale's media blog is now a heritage item - worth reading but no longer current. For the latest discussion, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss why Australians are crawling back into their cocoons, go to The Tribal Mind
To discuss Australia's top takeaways, go to Chiko and the gang

On Saturday morning, the prime time audience shares stand at ABC 18.5% Seven 28.6% Nine 27.0% Ten 20.4% SBS 5.4%. Seven won Friday night with the help of Better Homes and Gardens, but Saturday could have turned it around for Nine. Can The Vicar of Dibley and King Arthur knock off Big Momma's House (and what does it say about Australia's tastes if Big Momma wins?) Register your prediction here and bask in glory when we give the week's results on Sunday afternoon.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,406,000 382,000 411,000 274,000 130,000 209,000
2 THE VICAR OF DIBLEY Network 7 1,074,000 308,000 298,000 232,000 96,000 139,000
3 NINE NEWS SAT Network 9 1,009,000 260,000 329,000 233,000 122,000 64,000
4 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,005,000 268,000 268,000 227,000 102,000 140,000
5 THE GREAT OUTDOORS Network 7 956,000 276,000 302,000 196,000 72,000 109,000
6 BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE 2 Network 9 883,000 292,000 223,000 165,000 95,000 109,000
7 THE BILL Network ABC1 840,000 279,000 238,000 142,000 85,000 95,000
9 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 752,000 Not shown 354,000 108,000 165,000 125,000
14 MIDSOMER MURDERS RPT Network ABC1 630,000 171,000 215,000 102,000 81,000 61,000
15 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Network TEN 568,000 55,000 243,000 52,000 133,000 84,000
18 TOP GEAR: BEHIND THE SCENES RPT Network SBS 498,000 191,000 121,000 73,000 59,000 55,000
29 M-KING ARTHUR Network 7 279,000 140,000 Not shown 139,000 Not shown Not shown

• by David Dale at 04:21 PM
• Comments (65)

The Who We Are Update: Week 24

This week of the media blog is now history. To join the latest discussion, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss the best MacGuffins of movie history, go to The Tribal Mind
To discuss whether Australians are too dumb to function in modern life, go to Who We Are

What Austraia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,353,000 421,000 337,000 271,000 120,000 204,000
2 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,102,000 297,000 382,000 220,000 128,000 76,000
3 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,068,000 280,000 338,000 190,000 120,000 139,000
4 RICHIE RICH -RPT Network 9 989,000 310,000 228,000 245,000 86,000 121,000
5 BED OF ROSES Network ABC1 961,000 293,000 305,000 183,000 76,000 104,000
6 ABC NEWS-SAT Network ABC1 900,000 245,000 302,000 171,000 80,000 102,000
7 THE GREAT OUTDOORS Network 7 877,000 259,000 274,000 169,000 75,000 99,000
9 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 841,000 117,000 351,000 60,000 209,000 105,000
10 THE BILL Network ABC1 830,000 224,000 282,000 151,000 69,000 105,000
16 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Network TEN 636,000 83,000 280,000 83,000 119,000 72,000
17 TOP GEAR: THE CHALLENGES SPECIAL Network SBS 540,000 176,000 167,000 103,000 48,000 47,000
18 SEVEN'S R.U: AUS V IRE Network 7 506,000 293,000 23,000 152,000 18,000 19,000
32 ROAD TO BEIJING Network 7 308,000 106,000 78,000 50,000 38,000 36,000
33 SATURDAY DISNEY Network 7 283,000 70,000 104,000 46,000 34,000 29,000
37 BOWLS: PBA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS Network ABC1 253,000 89,000 55,000 67,000 30,000 12,000

The ratings race, updated 10 am Saturday
Channel 9 : Footy 567,000
Channel 2: British dramas 1.03m and 889,000.
Channel 10: Big Bother 977,000 followed by a "Chick Flick" starring Hugh Grant or Julia Roberts or Sandra Bullock. Preferably containing all 3 actors. 619,000
Channel 7: Better Homes & Gardens 1.61m & after that who cares as BHG will rack up enough numbers to win Friday night

What Australia watched, Friday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Network 7 1,610,000 493,000 491,000 258,000 151,000 217,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Network 7 1,515,000 439,000 362,000 297,000 161,000 256,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Network 7 1,299,000 377,000 303,000 231,000 158,000 230,000
4 HOME AND AWAY Network 7 1,242,000 390,000 316,000 203,000 118,000 216,000
5 NINE NEWS Network 9 1,218,000 326,000 414,000 253,000 134,000 92,000
6 A CURRENT AFFAIR Network 9 1,162,000 301,000 463,000 232,000 94,000 72,000
9 SILENT WITNESS Network ABC1 1,033,000 314,000 303,000 191,000 112,000 113,000
10 BIG BROTHER - FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE Network TEN 977,000 245,000 288,000 199,000 123,000 121,000
11 DEAL OR NO DEAL Network 7 896,000 239,000 242,000 183,000 108,000 125,000
12 SPOOKS Network ABC1 889,000 272,000 253,000 183,000 89,000 93,000
17 BIG BROTHER Network TEN 774,000 220,000 219,000 149,000 82,000 104,000
19 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 12: ESSENDON VS WEST COAST Network 7 670,000 11,000 373,000 12,000 109,000 166,000
21 BRIDGET JONES' DIARY RPT Network TEN 619,000 182,000 192,000 89,000 80,000 76,000
22 MILLION DOLLAR WHEEL OF FORTUNE Network 9 594,000 168,000 220,000 83,000 76,000 47,000
23 NINE'S LIVE FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Network 9 567,000 377,000 178,000 12,000

• by David Dale at 05:21 AM
• Comments (73)

WHO WE ARE: A forrest of Gumps

To discuss what went wrong with Indiana Jones, and to nominate the mightiest MacGuffins of moviedom, go to The Tribal Mind
To learn how a typical Australian family behaves, go to Who We Are

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 8/6/2008
Are most people in Australia too dumb to function in the modern world, or is this only true for most people in South Australia? These questions are raised by a throwaway line in a widely ignored report called SA Stats May 2008, just published by the Bureau of Statistics. It contains this explosive proposition:

"Only 30% of South Australians aged 15 to 74 were assessed to have adequate problem solving skills in the 2006 Adult Literacy and Life Skills Survey."

So the bureau is saying that 70 per cent of South Australians have inadequate problem solving skills. It's a large claim to be buried in a small report. This column has never been one to seek cheap laughs, so we must all restrain ourselves from observing that this might explain much about South Australia's best known export, the Baron Alexander Downer.

We have an obligation to examine the report more closely. The bureau says that in 2006, it tested a sample of 8,988 Australians aged 15 to 74 on four qualities: prose literacy; document literacy; numeracy; and problem solving. It was checking how many people displayed skills which are "the minimum required for individuals to meet the complex demands of everyday life and work in the emerging knowledge-based economy".

Since the bad news emerged in a report on South Australia, you'd assume it was the State that performed worst. Closer examination reveals that this was not the case. Here's the state and territory breakdown: In the Northern Territory, 72 per cent of people were assessed as having less than adequate problem solving skills; in Queensland, 70.8; in Victoria, 70.6; in NSW, 70.3; in South Australia, 69.6; in Tasmania 69.1 and in Canberra 54.5. Apparently there are dumber places on the continent than South Australia.

As the bureau describes the tests, this is what 15.1 million Australians can do: "Tasks in this level typically require the respondent to make simple inferences, based on limited information stemming from a familiar context. Tasks in this level are rather concrete with a limited scope of reasoning."

And this is what 10.6 million Australians cannot do: "Some tasks in this level require the respondent to order several objects according to given criteria. Other tasks require the respondent to determine a sequence of actions/events or to construct a solution by taking non-transparent or multiple interdependent constraints into account. The reasoning process goes back and forth in a non-linear manner, requiring a good deal of self-regulation. At this level respondents often have to cope with multi-dimensional or ill-defined goals."

The only good news is that we seem to be smarter than Canada, where 31.6 per cent have "adequate" problem solving skills (to our 32.2 per cent). But we are dumber than Norway (39.2 per cent) and Switzerland (33.8).

Now hold on a minute. The bureau is telling us that two thirds of the people in Switzerland, one of the richest countries on the planet, with no natural resources apart from snow, do not have the problem solving skills to function in modern life. Before we start beating up on ourselves, it may be time for the testers to reassess their definition of "adequate".

Click here to read the bureau's full report, and tell us what you think at Comments.

• by David Dale at 04:44 PM
• Comments (67)

WHO WE ARE: Is 42 million hours a day oxymoronic?

To discuss Agnetha's ass and the top-selling CDs of all time, go to The Tribal Mind

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 1/6/2008
The term "Australian culture" -- labelled an oxymoron only by the terminally cynical -- was thrown around a lot last week. Some aesthetically advanced people wrote to the prime minister suggesting that the international image of AC would be damaged by recent police action against photos of semi-naked children. It's the right time to ask "What IS Australian culture?" and fortuitously, the Bureau of Statistics has just come up with an answer.

A report entitled Arts and Culture in Australia: A statistical overview, 2008 includes a survey which showed how much time Australians spend on various activities. The bureau found, for example, that 87 per cent of Australians over the age of 14 watch TV for an average of 179 minutes a day, which leads to the calculation that the nation spends a total of 42 million hours each day getting culturally enriched by the likes of Gordon Ramsay, Anna Coren and Dannii Minogue. Applying this process to other entertainments, we can create this chart ...

The main ingredients of Australian culture
1 Watching television (42 million hours a day)
2 Listening to the radio (15.9 million hours a day)
3 Reading (8.9 million hours. The Bureau also established that 77 per cent of us read newspapers, 58 per cent read magazines and 48 per cent read books at least once a week)
4 Outdoor activities -- playing sport, exercising (6.2 million hours)
5 "Audiovisual media" -- using a computer (5.8m)
6 "Games/ hobbies/ arts/ crafts" (4.9m)
7 Video/ DVD watching (2.4m)
8 Visiting entertainment and cultural venues (1.3m)
9 Religious activities/ ritual ceremonies (1.3m)
10 Listening to recorded music (1.1m).

Clearly the definition of culture there is pretty broad. Many people would argue the term AC should be confined to Number 8 on the chart. Yet again, the bureau has dug out the details ...

Our most attended cultural activities
1. Cinema (65 per cent of Australians go at least once a year)
2 Zoos and aquariums (35.6 per cent)
3 Libraries (34.1)
4 Botanic gardens (33.7)
5 Popular music concerts (25.2)
6 Art galleries (22.7)
7 Museums (22.6)
8 Theatre performances (17.0)
9 "Other performing arts" (16.6)
10 Musicals and operas (16.3)

The Bureau notes that the most culturally-inclined Australians are women over 45: "Apart from popular music concerts, a higher proportion of females than males attended each venue or event. The difference was most apparent for local, state and national libraries (41% of females compared with 27% of males) and musicals and operas (21% compared with 12%). People aged 15-24 years were those most likely to attend popular music concerts and the cinema, while people aged 25-44 years were those most likely to visit zoological parks and aquariums. By comparison, people aged 45-64 years were those most likely to attend classical music concerts and musicals and operas."

The bureau has also been able to guage our interest in AC by how much we spend on it: "Australian households spent 4.1 per cent of their total expenditure on cultural goods and services." Households spent the largest amounts on books (on average $3.94 a week), televisions ($3.41), Pay TV fees ($2.69) and newspapers ($2.56).

The bureau has even measured by how much Australians have become more cultural recently: "Between 1998-99 and 2003-04, total household expenditure on culture increased from $26.74 to $36.40 per week." The number of people employed in "cultural industries" now stands at 296,183 - which is a pretty big contribution to the economy.

All round, we're a bloody cultural crowd. Aren't you sorry now about your quip that AC is an oxymoron? Unless you disagree with the definition. Go to Comments if you'd like to discuss what AC might be.

• by David Dale at 02:14 PM
• Comments (9)

WHO WE ARE: The land of big buyers

To discuss Australia's greatest screen heroes, go to The Tribal Mind

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 25/5/2008
You want to be typical, doncha? Unless you want to be exceptional. Either way, you need to know what typical is before you can rejoice in your empathy with the masses or in your elite status far above them. That's where this column and the research organisation ACNielsen come in.

Every two years the Nielsen boffins do a survey of the 100 products most purchased in Australian supermarkets, and every two years this column uses it to generate a portrait of a day in the life of a typical Australian family (lets call them Michael and Julie Jones, their daughter Jessica, 19, and their son Ben, 14). Here's Australia through its shopping habits, 2008:

The Joneses wake up and head for the bathroom, where they wipe with Kleenex Cottonelle, shampoo with Pantene and deodorise with Rexona. Michael shaves with Gillette and Julie and Jessica insert Libra.

In the kitchen, Ben feeds Whiskas to Soxie and Pedigree Pal to Max, and spreads Vegemite on toasted Tip Top for himself. Michael and Julie pour Paul's into their Nescafe Blend 43 and over their Weet-Bix.

Jessica swallows a glass of Golden Circle pineapple and a tub of Yoplait. On the way to her bus, she smokes a Winfield (the first of her four for the day) and chews an Extra so her breath won't smell.

Julie puts on a load with Omo, makes Ben a sandwich with Bega cheese and Hans salami, and drives him to school in their silver Holden Commodore.

For lunch Julie makes herself a can of Campbell's. Jessica has an Uncle Toby's muesli bar and a couple of squares of Cadbury's. When he gets some from school Ben has a packet of Smith's and a glass of Milo. When she gets home from work, Jessica has two Tim Tams and a can of Diet Coke. Julie's afternoon tea is Arnott's Shapes.

For dinner, Julie makes a sauce with Leggo's tomato paste, McCain frozen peas and John West tuna, to put over San Remo rigatoni. Michael drinks a can of VB, Julie has a glass of Jacob's Creek chardonnay. For dessert they eat Goulburn Valley tinned fruit with Peter's icecream.

Julie covers the leftovers with Glad, to avoid attracting cockroaches (although she sprays with Mortein once a week). They wash up with Finish and brush with Colgate. Then they watch TV, using a remote powered by Energiser.

Jessica goes out for a drink with her boyfriend and they end up at his place. If he used a condom, it would be Ansell, but he doesn't, so in ten months time Jessica will be buying Huggies.

Now you know the products that make the most money in Australian supermarkets. Only two of the brands I mentioned are made by Australian companies - and we'll get to that issue next week.

To discuss what all this says about Australians, go to Comments

• by David Dale at 03:10 PM
• Comments (18)

The Who We Are update: week 23

This week of David Dale's media blog is now history. To join the latest discussion, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss Agnetha's end and the top-selling CDs of all time, go to The Tribal Mind
To discuss whether Australians are too dumb to function in modern life, go to Who We Are

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
Yesterday this column launched a not-for-proifit competition for the tiny elite of readers who look at this blog at the weekend, predicated on this:

"A stunning performance by Better Homes and Gardens has shattered the complacency of Channel Nine and turned the ratings into a race again. With one night to go in the official week, the prime time audience shares stand at: ABC 17.4%; Seven 28.5%; Nine 28.1%; Ten 20.5%; SBS 5.5%.

I hereby invite readers to predict who will win the week, based on tonight's offerings: Funniest Home Videos and The Cat in the Hat on Nine, and The Vicar of Dibley and Unbreakable (or Just Like Heaven in some cities) on Seven. No prize, only the glory of displaying your understanding of Saturday night psychology. Winners unveiled here tomorrow at 10 am."

OK, now we can reveal how the ratings went. Based on this audience data, which channel do you think won the week? For the answer, go here..

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,291,000 393,000 338,000 261,000 129,000 169,000
2 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,193,000 307,000 458,000 207,000 137,000 84,000
3 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,156,000 311,000 361,000 222,000 137,000 125,000
4 THE VICAR OF DIBLEY Network 7 958,000 296,000 262,000 192,000 90,000 118,000
5 THE GREAT OUTDOORS Network 7 952,000 291,000 278,000 184,000 94,000 105,000
6 ABC NEWS-SAT Network ABC1 915,000 292,000 249,000 187,000 86,000 101,000
7 BED OF ROSES Network ABC1 854,000 241,000 253,000 186,000 84,000 91,000
8 THE CAT IN THE HAT -RPT Network 9 854,000 275,000 261,000 151,000 80,000 87,000
10 THE BILL Network ABC1 824,000 258,000 207,000 151,000 98,000 110,000
11 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 814,000 134,000 356,000 60,000 102,000 161,000
16 M-JUST LIKE HEAVEN Network 7 517,000 269,000 97,000 151,000
18 TOP GEAR RPT Network SBS 462,000 165,000 87,000 106,000 57,000 47,000
24 M-UNBREAKABLE Network 7 392,000 223,000 169,000
40 BIG LOVE Network SBS 211,000 74,000 71,000 32,000 19,000 15,000

• by David Dale at 09:01 AM
• Comments (89)

The Who We Are update: Week 23

This week of David Dale's media blog is now history. For the latest discussion, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss whether "Australian culture" is an oxymoron, go to Who We Are
To discuss Australia's greatest screen heroes, go to The Tribal Mind

The ratings week ended with these prime time audience shares: ABC 17.8% Seven 27.5% Nine 27.7% Ten 20.9% SBS 6.0% (though Seven points out that it won with viewers under the age of 55).
What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,369,000 314,000 374,000 325,000 132,000 224,000
2 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,139,000 303,000 354,000 228,000 143,000 111,000
3 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Nine 1,067,000 242,000 302,000 211,000 146,000 167,000
4 BED OF ROSES ABC 1,018,000 288,000 296,000 202,000 104,000 127,000
5 ABC NEWS-SAT ABC 963,000 254,000 324,000 175,000 94,000 117,000
6 THE GREAT OUTDOORS Seven 960,000 256,000 268,000 220,000 95,000 122,000
9 THE BILL ABC 802,000 235,000 229,000 147,000 98,000 93,000
10 SPY KIDS -RPT Nine 797,000 195,000 233,000 145,000 82,000 142,000
11 M-STARSKY & HUTCH Seven 741,000 208,000 167,000 179,000 82,000 105,000
12 GARDENING AUSTRALIA ABC 739,000 155,000 280,000 132,000 82,000 90,000
13 THE RICH LIST Seven 715,000 170,000 171,000 190,000 97,000 87,000
14 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Ten 682,000 363,000 139,000 88,000 92,000
15 MISS CONGENIALITY -RPT Nine 589,000 239,000 141,000 125,000 84,000
16 MIDSOMER MURDERS RPT ABC 583,000 152,000 173,000 112,000 81,000 65,000
17 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Ten 568,000 66,000 188,000 64,000 71,000 179,000
20 TOP GEAR RPT SBS 487,000 137,000 119,000 113,000 75,000 44,000

• by David Dale at 05:23 AM
• Comments (118)

WHO WE ARE: Momentous moments

To discuss whether Australians are mini-Americans, go to The Tribal Mind
A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 18/5/2008
We rage and whinge about television programming, but no medium can match it for uniting a nation around emotional events. Over the past few weeks, this column has been seeking your views on the dramas and comedies shown on the box over the past 52 years (click here for that discussion). In the process we failed to see the elephant in the room. No episode of a drama or comedy series has ever attracted more than half the population, but plenty of other things have. Here's an attempt to rank the moments that moved the majority of us.

The most watched events in Australian television history
1 The funeral of Diana Spencer (1997)
2 The Sydney Olympics opening ceremony (2000)
3 Cathy Freeman's gold medal Olympic run (2000)
4 Wedding of Prince Charles and Diana Spencer (1981)
5 The first human to walk on the moon (1969)
6 The first TV showing of The Sound of Music (1977)
7 The Australian Open tennis Men's Final Hewitt v Safin (2005)
8 Twin towers reportage, September 12 (2001)
9 The boxing match between Lionel Rose and Alan Rudkin (1969)
10 The Rugby World Cup final (2003)
11 The World of the Seekers concert documentary (1968)
12 The Beaconsfield miners rescue (2006)
13 Australian Idol final verdict (2003)
14 The Block auction (2003)
15 The AFL grand final (1996).

That's the impression of Australia's priorities we gain from the raw ratings data. Moving from the statistical to the theoretical, I've also attempted a personal judgement on social symbolism, which I'd better put in historical order.

The most significant moments in Australian television history
1 Homicide becomes the first Australian drama to outrate a top US drama (The Fugitive) (1966).
2 Number 96 shows TV's first gay kiss (1974).
3 Graham Kennedy is banned from live television for doing crow imitations that start with an "f" (1975).
4 AC/DC make the first successful Australian music video clip It's A Long Way To The Top (if you want to rock and roll)' (1977).
5 The Governor-General, Sir John Kerr, seems drunk at the Melbourne Cup (1977)
6 Kerry Packer launches World Series Cricket (1978).
7 The Grim Reaper commercials warn about AIDS (1987).
8 Charlene (Kylie Minogue) marries Scott (Jason Donovan) in Neighbours (1987).
9 Bob Hawke admits infidelity and cries, on Clive Robertson's Newsworld (1989).
10 Normie Rowe and Ron Casey fight over republicanism on The Midday Show (1991).
11 Kerry Packer pulls off Doug Mulray's Naughtiest Home Videos halfway through the first episode, apparently because of a display of kangaroo genitals (1997).
12 The Block features gay renovators (2003).
13 Kevin Rudd starts his rise by doing weekly banter sessions with Joe Hockey on Sunrise (2003).
14 Big Brother contestant Merlin protests detention of boat people by olding up a sign "Free th refugees" (2004)
15 Steve Irwin holds his baby while feeding a crocodile (2004).
16 Pauline Hanson moves from politician to celebrity on Dancing With The Stars (2004).
17 Channel Ten expels contestants Ash and John from the Big Brother house for attempting to "turkey slap" contestant Camilla (2006).
18 The Chaser team show their arrest for breaching security at the APEC summit (2007).