The Sun-Herald

A man in panda bear suit
Sat in the back of a ute
He said I feel silly
So give me some chilly
And I'll play you a tune on my flute.

• by Dorothy on January 24, 2010 at 10:26 AM

The bloke from the bush loved his ute
When polished it looked really cute
But he met a sweet filly
Who fed him hot chilli
The cute ute ended up down the chute.

• by John on January 24, 2010 at 12:31 PM

I regret to inform you that your question 20 is invalid in a quiz on Australian knowledge, as it asked if "old Regret was a ranch or a horse?" The word "ranch" is a western US or Canadian term derived from Spanish and does not form part of the Australian lexicon. What next? Shrimps on the barbie?

DD replies: That's why it was obviously the wrong answer.

• by PAUL on January 25, 2010 at 08:15 AM

Loved the quizz, look forward to the book!
Here is my Australia day limerick - enjoy!
Bruce and his mates in the ute
Gave chilli and tofu the boot.
They ran up the flags,
Barbied lamb and some snags,
Made burgers, of course, with beetroot!
Kerrie Mead

There once was a bowlful of chilli
Aussies ate it and didn't feel silly
They loved all the changes
Different cultures and strangers
and became friends in their Honda or ute
Amanda Taura

There was an old woman named Tilly
Who admittedly was quite silly.
She drove a red ute
Piled up with fruit
Which she vowed was a load of chilli.
G. White

Once a lady named Millie
Had a fondness for chilli.
When her boyfriend Coot
Called around in his ute,
The question arose, "will'e"?
Anne Baxter

Loopy Lily
Ate hot chilli.
Boyfriend mute
In his ute,
Rev-ved up hill-billy.
Anne Baxter

My mu and I wrote this together. We did the quiz as a competition against my dad and husband, and luckily the girls beat them hands down. J
Here's our limerick:
Big Kev was a man who loved chilli,
But it wasn't too kind to his willy.
He hopped into his ute
Went to see Dr Brute
Who said, "Stop eating that chilli willy nilly!"
Kristy Shearer and Jan Parker

Don't park ya ute in Kirrabilli,
the parkin cops are hot as chilli,
They"ll book ya for sure n
Hit ya wallet for six like Gilly.
Tyrone Phillips

There once was a man, not all there,
Who ate chilli just for a dare.
He shouted out "Root!"
Jumped over his ute
While farting what looked like a flare.
Tracey Bennett

Hi again (so sorry for this horrible simple text from my home email!!),
If more than one entry is allowed, this is another effort in the limerick competition:
My ute "collected" Morelli,
Unharmed because of his belly,
Boasting chilli on toast
And an Aussie lamb roast,
Like that geezer promotes on the telly.
Jennifer Clements

MY GIRLFRIEND IS REALLY SO CUTE.
WE HAVE FUN IN THE BACK OF MY UTE.
I SAID "DO SOMETHING SILLY"
SO SHE FED ME A CHILLI
THAT SHE SAID WAS A RED PASSIONFRUIT.
Ross Playfair

To own a ute
That is beaut
Hot as a chilli
Cool as a cat
How Aussie is that
John Cregan

Here is my 25 word or less limerick.
A young bloke called Billy
Once wooed a cute filly.
"I think you're beaut.
Let's jump in my ute.
Hot times ahead with my chilli!"
But I prefer the longer version more in keeping with the rhythm of a conventional limerick.
There was a young Aussie called Billy.
Who fancied a cute little filly.
"I think you're real beaut.
Let's jump in my ute.
We'll have a hot time with my chilli!"
Kaye Chambers

Australia Day.. throw esky in ute
snags on barbie .. be a hoot
spice it with chilli,
laugh ourselves silly
celebrate it in our birthday suit
Lucie Campbell

There was quite a kerfuffle in the ute
He and she were anything but mute
She thought she was chewing his willy
But in truth 'twas a very large chilli
Never again will they make love in his ute.
Lowana Chapman

I once had a mate from Murwilli'
Who loved to eat fiery chilli.
He cooked up some beaut
in the tray of his ute
then scoffed the lot. How Silly!
B. Alca

There was a young fella called Billy
Who loved all his tucker with chilli
When he'd get in his ute
Fire the gas with a hoot
He'd be blasted ahead willy nilly
Jenny Diprose

We always think it's beaut
Standing in the back of a ute,
You and me and Willy,
Find it kind of chilly
But yaknow we're real cute!
Susan-Jane Croce

My Australia Day Poem - BILLY CHILLI
G-Day Blue.
Do you know those chic's, in that UTE?
They were waving to us,they were kinda CUTE.
We got a good day for our game of cricket.
AUSTRALIA DAY U-Beaut.
We'll have a cuppa when I boil the billy.
Got snags on the BBQ
Hope you like chilli!
Margaret Bartle

The bloke in the dinner suit drives a Ute
He's a crakeup,in thongs=thinks its a hoot
To eat at the billabong,its so beaut
But when the chilli is flaming hot,thats not cute
Cause he needs to visit thunderbox to drop loot.
Kerri White

The news of the year was Ute-Gate,
Malcolm was sure it would rate,
But a goblin named Gretch
Had made a bit of a stretch,
"Fair shake of the chilli sauce, mate."
Dean Genner

The Gilgandra Drover.
There was a young drover from Gilly
who hopped in his ute to be silly
he got into strife
with his soon to be wife
cause the beer in the back wasen't chilli
please accept this entry in your competition
Bryan Billington

We aussies are known for invention,
The ute's an example worth mention,
And the hoist made by Hilly,
Maybe spag bol with chilli,
But pavlova and thongs are exemption(s).
Phillip Kendall

My intro let me execute
I'm Aussie as a Holden ute
Hot as Asian chilli
Green as lillipilly
A sheila cute and fair dinkum beaut!
Shirley Hutton

In the front I grow chilli
Cross the back fence lives Lily
Me hubby's real beaut
He drives a red ute
We're dincs but somewhat silly

A poem should stand alone BUT just for interest sake I do have chillies growing in my front garden, 96 year old Lil lives over the back fence, Lance has a a battered, old, HQ ute and we've been together 31years without producing one child. We've done our bit for environmental sustainability.
Heather Lindsay

A very cool, young chilli,
Went by the name of Billy,
Bought a snazzy ute,
Tizzied up real beaut,
To catch a pretty chilli filly
Suzanne Martyn

,The beach in my ute,
My girl, really cute,
Chilli bin with cold beer,
Aussie Day full of cheer,
No wonder we say, bloody beaut !
Bill Williams

There was a lad called Billy
With red hair he's known 'Chilli'.
He owns a ute
Used to commute
But need's a push when hilly!
Christine Cantarella

There was a fellow called Willy,
Who dined on copious chilli.
Took off in his ute,
And none will refute
Deserves being called "Silly Billy."
There was a fellow called Bill,
Whose ute wouldn't go uphill.
He gave it some chilli.
How awfully silly.
The ute is still sitting still
Margot bergstrom

.There once was ute full of Chilli
Driven by billy, of green and Gold
People thought that billy was silly
But Billy replied hey, im not silly
I just love the Chilli.
brad harris

A guy - a bit of a brute
Went to the beach in his ute,
No swim with his filly
Sea was too chilli,
Just sat on the sand and ate fruit.
Mark O'Rourke

This bloke, and his name it was Billy
A real drongo and just a bit silly
But his bush- bashing ute
Was an absolute beaut
Billy ran it on home-brew and chilli
Jo McGahey

There once was a fellow named Billy
Who had a young lady called Millie
He bought a flash ute,
Which he thought was just beaut
It was red, like a very ripe chilli.
Margaret Spiers

A young boy from Indooroopilly
Ate an excessive amount of chili
In his Dad's ambulance ute
He screamed a loud hoot
As his wee-wee burnt his wee willy.
Marion Wood

A day off work, you beaut,
A chance to get away in me ute,
Have a barbie, a beer & get a bit silly,
No cooking for me with chilli,
Round off the day with a cuppa tea from me billy!
Emma Gardner

Went out for a chilli hot dog
it gave me a real blast
straight back into back of my ute
wow great chilli hot dog
lay in the back of my ute waving my aussie flag
Katrina oconnor

I love a sunburnt chilli
A taste of weeping pains
Of a rugged country ute
I just crashed
Now burning in flames


I drive a ute called Chilli
Its red and green but not silly
It goes real quick
Its fully sick
But all my mates reckon I have a small.... willy
I go to town in my ute
And I reckon that�s real beaut
Cause my goal is to attract a young filly
The fillies shoot through when the beers I spew
Flood my nose the colour of red and green chilli
I love a gal called Chilli
She is plain as a button and not frilly
She doesnt give a hoot
Ridin in me ute
Cause we think anything else would be just silly
Me best mates name is Billy
A really Aussie but damned silly
He flogs my ute
Then gives the horn a toot
Ridin into town for some cheese, crackers and chilli
Brett Collison.

There was a young man in a Ute,
eating Chilli which was beaut,
He hit a pot hole,
then started to roll,
Poor bastard lost all his loot.
Damian Ramus

A gastronomic young lady called Lilly
Had a devotion to chilli
Her boyfriend would shoot
kangaroo from his ute
braised in the billy for Lilly
Colin Evans

There was a man called Willi
Tried to eat a chilli
It left him mute
After entering his ute
He regained his voice � you beaut.
Janene Hobbs

• by More emailed entries on January 25, 2010 at 09:38 AM

There once was a funny old mute
Who would drive around all day in his ute
In case of questions, just plain silly
He would eat lots of chilli
So his backside could answer "toot toot"

• by BD on January 25, 2010 at 06:02 PM

There was a man who was quite cute,
Who one day drove cross-country in a ute
The roads were quite hilly
And the wind was quite chilly
And he felt that the trip was a beaut.

• by My Email Is Real on January 26, 2010 at 11:28 AM

Australia Day.. throw esky in ute
snags on barbie .. be a hoot
spice it with chilli,
laugh ourselves silly
celebrate it in our birthday suit

• by L. Campbell on January 26, 2010 at 01:50 PM

If you live in Indooroopilly
Where the outskirts are especially hilly
Try tackling the brutes
In your second-hand utes
By augmenting your petrol with chilli.
Bob Moore

Whoever invented English is a clot
Meanings should be clear but they're not
Hence the monster Ute
Is no Indian brute
And chilli should be cold but it's hot
Bob Moore

'm proud as punch to be an Aussie
Eat meat pies and drink VB in my cossie
Root my girlfriend in the ute
Tell my sheila she's beaut
And eat chilli to warn off the mozzie ! zzzzz
Jenny Danon

There was an old man in a ute,
Who always put a chilli in his boot,
When his feet got too red
He stood on his head
And soon his big nose he would toot.
Judith Jansen

KEVVIE'S UTE IS A BLOODY BEAUT
IT WAS HOTTER THAN RED CHILLI
SPARK PLUGS FLEW
PUT MALCOLM IN A STEW
AND GODWIN GRECH LOOKED SILLY"
Rod Fountain

there once was a man with a ute
who called all the ladies "you beaut"
they thought him quite silly
so he ate lots of chilli
and out of town he did scoot
Linda Major

There was a bloke from down under , who had a terrible blunder,
He jumped in his ute, thinkin she's a real beaut,
Whilst chomping down his snag laced with HOT chilli,
God streawth, he shrieked
It nearly burnt off me willy!!!
Lindsay neil-baikie

This long-distance driver called Billy
Spent a lot of his time acting silly
So when a young bandicoot
Ran right under his ute
Bill cooked him with pasta and chilli
Jo McGahey

When I was a kid me dad had a Ute
We ate plain food the orchard yielded fruit
Migrants came with chilli recipes
From all around the world across the seas
I'm a happy Aussie feast your eyes on me
Aussie blokes farm in Indooroopilly
Drive to the big smoke for Con Carne with Chilli
The old farm Ute never lets me down
From the sprawling homestead to around the town
Respite from yakka and I act like a clown
Country parade Ute's with a band
Flags flying in the breeze ain't it grand
Time for some tucker hot pepper chilli
Leave your mare with her chesnut filly
Throw another log on to boil the billy
A chilli is a chilli and a Ute is a Ute
One is a workhorse the other leaves you mute
If you eat too much and the dam is dry
The only fluid left are the tears you cry
Thats when you need the Ute before you die
Golden guitars Tamworths grand
Ute's with musos strike up the band
Time for a beer or two or three
Eat a bowl of chilli come join with me
Sleep it off near a Coolibah tree
Wyn Fountain

David - this limerick's a riddle -
Re Rudd's election ute fiddle!
Godwin's guile (hot as chilli)
Leaves Abetz looking silly -
And gullible Mal on Kev's griddle!
John Flett

The ute-a type of a car,
Does not define who we are,
And equally silly
Is the notion that chilli,
Projects our image afar.
Greg Raffin

There once was a bloke called Billy
Who used to drink beer and eat chilli.
He farted real beaut.
Friends didn't think it was cute,
So he was always chucked in back o' the ute.
Alison Stewart

Seven little Australians, in the back of the farmers ute
Bouncing along, singing a song, and shouting out ''you beaut'[
Going on a picnic, the road was really hilly
Planning to eat bush tucker, none of them really liked chilli
Seven happy "liddle vegemites", their esky filled with fruit.
Deb Steber

Kev, a man of repute,
Was scandalised by an ill-gotten UTE.
With CHILLI-red face,
Swany denied the disgrace.
And Mals' email fuelled the dispute.
susan gillies

There once was a local called Billie,
Along with his pride and joy ute and best kelpie called Chilli,
They were playing one day and whilst running amuck:
Then noticed two flats which brought them unstuck:
So there they waited, thumbing for a truck!
Sylvia Lee

There once was a stockman named Billy,
Who with his pride and joy ute and best Collie named Chilli,
Still tied to the fence, Chilli's hopped in the ute,
As Billy took off in first, he yelled out, "You beaut!'
And as he drove passed the dust, he saw Chilli riding a bucking filly!
Sylvia Lee

I'm not sure if you are allowed to submit more than one so I'll enter as many as I can unless someone "Stop me if you can!"
Friday's our set chilli night
Takes 'hot' to hyperbolic height
We get a ute load
dumped in our abode
Then cry with drought-breaking delight
Heather Lindsay

'm a OZ brute
I own a Holden ute
I live on beer and chilli
My cattle dogs name is Willi
Australian, carefree and cute
Cherril Humbles

The boys piled into the ute,
Went out for a bloody good shoot;
Boiled the kill in the billy,
Served it up with some chilli
And all agreed it was beaut.
Penne Mattes

DOWN THE DRIVE-IN MOVIES
Down the drive-in in back of the ute,
Beer, chilli-dog and girl who's so cute;
No worries if it's wet,
Or what's on, cause we pet,
Fair dinkum, me old mates, it's real beaut.
Penne Mattes

There was a man named Billy
Who could drink himself silly
One night in his ute
He found some fruit
And bit into a chilli!
Maria Hogan

• by still more emailed entries on January 27, 2010 at 12:02 PM

A young girl of ill repute
Took a ride in the back of a ute
The ground was quite hilly
She bounced off a chilli
And burned the tail of her suit.

• by Maree Atkins on January 27, 2010 at 08:28 PM

Hubby in the kitchen - apron frilly
Cooking tea - thought he'd double the chilli
bum whistling like badly tuned flute
took off like a hotted up ute
bet he won't try that again - will'e

• by AD on January 29, 2010 at 11:14 AM

I once bought a great ute
It was a real beaut
In the back I ate heaps of chilli
It shrank my willy
My girl said your willy shrunk and you aren't that cute

• by Glen Everett on January 29, 2010 at 04:51 PM