The Sun-Herald

The Tribal Mind: From bust to boom - what do you recall from 2009?

To discuss how dumb Australia was in 2009, go to Who We Are.

by David Dale
BARE breasts bobbing up and down, a boy smearing Vegemite under his arms, comedians mocking a charity for dying children, a kangaroo hopping through a car pileup in Los Angeles, five doctors dressed as golliwogs, and a corpulent cravatted man frowning as he rolls a lump of chocolate cake around his mouth.

Those are the images burned into my brain after studying Australian television for the past 11 months. Their dazzling diversity makes it hard to offer a unified field theory of Australia's mood in 2009. It was a year that began with viewers addicted to sex and violence and ended with an embrace of family values. Back in February, this column took a punt on the zeitgeist: "Perfect breasts. That's what it takes to make a hit TV show these days. Perfect New Zealand breasts, to be precise. Plus some sort of crime story that will justify displaying the breasts at least five times per episode.

"The PBs in the first two episodes of Underbelly 2 belonged to Jenna Lind, who plays Maria Muhary, the kiwi girlfriend of drug dealer Terry Clark. In the third episode, the PBs belonged to Anna Hutchison, who plays Alison Dine, the other kiwi girlfriend of Terry Clark (his first girlfriend's PBs having ceased to be available for public viewing, because she had become a mother). The second PBs were slightly smaller than the first PBs, but still able to be aesthetically appreciated by persons of all genders and sexual orientations.

"With any luck, they've started a trend that will carry Australian television back to the glory days of Number 96. 'Bare the breast' could replace 'jump the shark' as industry jargon for a desperate strategy to raise ratings."

Sadly this was not to be. By mid year the only breasts on display belonged to chickens and ducks, on the benchtops of MasterChef, which proceeded to revive the cravat as a fashion option and add the term "plating up" to the vocabulary of eight year olds.

The descent into dagginess continued with the Hey Hey It's Saturday reunions, where a boy won Red Faces by demonstrating the many uses of Vegemite, and a bunch of doctors failed to realise that repeating an undergraduate blackface routine after 20 years would infuriate a visiting American.

The Chaser team had demonstrated equally poor judgement with a skit satirising sentimentality in fundraising. They sort-of apologised, but the incident stirred up a cult of complaint, which then turned its attention to the previously sacred Packed to the Rafters. Tabloid outrage greeted an episode which implied that men masturbate while fantasising about women to whom they are not married.

Rafters redeemed itself in the final episode by adding an infant to the family mix, showing it had not lost its knack of exploiting social changes taking place in real-life Australia (currently in the midst of a baby boom).

The sci-fi series Flashforward, meanwhile, charmed us by throwing a kangaroo into the chaos of its opening episode. But by year end, Flashforward looked to be going the way of all good TV sci-fi -- to the late night schedule or to one of the digital or Pay channels.

What does all this say about national priorities at the start of a new decade? The success of MasterChef may suggest Australians are retreating into comfy cocoons. But Channel Nine clearly believes we're still turned on by violence. Its press release for the next season of Underbelly promises insights into a period when "the cops were bent and the crims were cool ... seen through the eyes of some of the most sexy, charming, corrupt and deadly people of the time."

Will that be us in 2010 -- cool, corrupt and deadly, models of gangster chic? Or will we be too busy plating up beautiful meals for our newborns? Go to Comments to discuss your theory and to describe your most memorable TV images of the year.

David Dale is the author of The Little Book of Australia -- A snapshot of who we are (Allen and Unwin). For daily updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.