The Sun-Herald

The Tribal Mind: Are you smarter than a TV star?

To learn how Skippy brainwashed Australia, go to Who We Are.

by David Dale
SOME people are clearly more intelligent than the job they've been given to do. I'm thinking of Lisa Wilkinson as co-host of Today; Andrew Denton or Shaun Micallef when they hosted the Logies; Gretel Killeen when she was host of Big Brother; Tracy Grimshaw as host of A Current Affair; and Sarah Wilson as presenter of MasterChef. Watching them perform their roles with patience and professionalism, you know they are capable of greater things.

Then there are people who are clearly less intelligent than the job they are given. Examples:

Jennifer Hawkins as presenter on The Great Outdoors;
Eddie McGuire when he was chief executive of Channel Nine;
Joe Hockey as Shadow Treasurer;
Jackie O as straightman to Kyle Sandilands (or whatever it is that she does);
Richard Wilkins interviewing most singers and actors;
Nathan Rees as Premier;
Sandra Sully doing anything other than read the news;
Lara Bingle in any role that requires talking.

All give the impression of being slightly out of their depth (although I may be mistaken in my estimate of Lara Bingle's IQ -- earlier this year she got coverage for a twitter comment in which she said of herself: "Hahaha I am such a retart". She seems to have invented a clever portmanteau word to describe a person who is simultaneously dimwitted and flirtatious. Unless it was a spelling error.)

This column was once seated at a dinner party next to a successful actress who has often portrayed highly intelligent women. It became apparent she was unlike her characters. Without a script, she had nothing interesting to say. Acting, it seems, does not require a high IQ, merely an ability to repeat the dialogue of people smarter than yourself.

In total contrast was Julia Gillard's appearance last week on Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?. Most Australians assume that Gillard is just intelligent enough to perform the roles of education minister, industrial relations minister and deputy prime minister, which, I'd estimate, requires an IQ of around 130. Her performance on 5th Grader suggested she might score over 150.

Contestants on that show usually take a random guess when they don't know the answer. Gillard thought she could figure it out, and gave us a glimpse into the workings of a very precise mind.

Asked if the speed of sound was 1200 kph, 2200 kph or 3600 kph, she reflected that some planes are capable of breaking the sound barrier, and it seems unlikely that a plane could travel as fast as 2200 or 3600 kph, so 1200 is the most likely answer. Asked if the earth rotates towards the east or towards the west, she reflected that New Zealand is two hours ahead of us, and is to the east of us, which must mean we are rotating towards the sun, which rises in the east. Such impeccable logic earned $20,000 for Gillard's charity in the first week, and brought her back a second time to display more of it, along with a self-deprecating sense of humour.

Gillard's colleagues won't thank her for setting this precedent. She has given voters a scary new tool for judging their elected representatives.

Intelligence is not an essential quality for a TV personality. It may even be a hindrance. But for a politician whose decisions affect the lives of millions, it is vital. From now on, forget those tedious televised debates before each election. Every candidate will instead be required to take a turn against the 10 year olds on Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? .

Go to comments to suggest how other pollies might perform.

Footnote: Two weeks ago this column urged readers to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, to ensure it sold more tickets than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Go to How not to look stupid for background). As of September 9, the totals were Harry $40.0 million, Trannies $40.2m. Another 20,000 Harry visits will save us from being shamed in the eyes of the world.
Meanwhile, cinemagoers are proving the Trannies were just a school holiday aberration by embracing Inglourious Basterds ($9m in 3 weeks) and District 9 ($7m in 4 weeks). If we don't manage to get Harry over the line, we may find some consolation in the possibility that IB and D9 will pass the $11.5m earned by The Ugly Truth. And the Paul Hogan/ Shane Jacobson comedy Charlie and Boots had the best opening for any Australian film this year -- $1.2m in its first week. Anybody want to offer a recommendation?

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). For daily updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.