The Sun-Herald

WHO WE ARE: It's peanut butter jelly time

For regular updates on popular culture, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald. 26/4/2009
It crossed my mind to do an obituary for Humphrey B. Bear, now that his production company has gone into liquidation. But he doesn't deserve one.

This column's duties include the identification and celebration of national icons, a term that certain media have been applying to Humphrey. In theory, the funny old fellow has been entertaining and educating Australian preschoolers since 1965. In fact, Here's Humphrey was always a cheap and token response by Channel Nine to the rules requiring commercial networks to provide children's programming if they wanted to retain their broadcasting licence.

So instead of a eulogy for a boring bear, I'll take the opportunity to praise two fabulous fruits who are still very much alive - attracting 200,000 viewers whenever they're shown on ABC television and carrying the message about Australian creativity around the world. Unlike Humphrey, Bananas in Pyjamas have universal appeal. (Warning, other puns may become necessary in the course of this discussion.)

I first became aware of the yellow peril when my daughter was bitten on the finger by another three year old as they struggled for possession of a Bananas in Pyjamas beanie at kindergarten. I realised then that the ABC had created an addiction which provides a useful source of non-taxpayer funding but which can drive certain children to desperate action.

The devotion of the fans is a commentary on the power of the story. The phenomenon started as a cartoon shown during Play School in the 1980s, accompanied by this song: "Bananas in pyjamas are coming down the stairs, Bananas in pyjamas are coming down in pairs, Bananas in pyjamas are chasing teddy bears, Cos on Tuesdays they all like to catch them unawares."

In 1992 the ABC gave the Bananas their own series, with characters portrayed by actors in big hot suits (giving a new meaning to the phrase "slip on a banana skin"). Their world is Cuddles Avenue, where B1 and B2 occupy all positions of authority -- park rangers, nurses, crossing guards, beach patrol, car mechanics, road sweepers, and dispute resolution counsellors. Their neighbours are three teddy bears - dreaming Morgan, frivolous Amy and fussy Lulu.

The villain is Rat in a Hat, who runs all the businesses on Cuddles Avenue and whose mission is to sell dubious notions to the teddies. He likes to say "I'm a rat, I'm a rat, I'm a very clever rat!" followed by "Cheese and whiskers!" when his scams are foiled by the Bananas, whose catchphrases are: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, B2? I think I am, B1".

The five minute episodes teach tolerance, optimism, patience, scientific method, and dramatic structure. Most importantly, the Rat's tale demonstrated the dangers of uninhibited capitalism long before the current economic crisis came along to convince consumers over the age of five.

That kind of life lesson is why B1 and B2 are more deserving of our accolades than a large brown bear who never wore any pants and never said a word. When we start throwing round labels like "national icon", lets get our priorities right.

To discuss all this, go to Comments

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). For daily updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in whoweare-index at 11:07 AM
• Comments (31)

The Tribal Mind: Everything to lose

To find out what the CIA thinks of Australia, go to Who We Are.

by David Dale
Australia is a hero-phobic society, according to the Hollywood screenwriter Christopher Vogler. "In Australian culture it's unseemly to seek out leadership or the limelight," he writes, "and anyone who does is a tall poppy, quickly cut down."

If Vogler is right, Hugh Jackman had better hurry to make his pile before he goes the way of Paul Hogan, Mel Gibson, Bert Newton and Eddie McGuire.

It's often pointed out, especially on April 25, that Australia is the land that loves its losers. We're the only country to devote a national holiday to a military defeat, turn the tale of a suicidal sheep thief into a national song, and make a hero out of a murdering bankrobber simply because he put a political spin on his crimes. We also refuse to support our own movies, with the notable recent exception of a melodrama that can be read as self-parody. So Hugh Jackman is lucky to have got away with displaying talent, intelligence and charm for as long as he has.

Vogler believes Australians are different from Americans in their approach to story and character. A former script consultant for Disney, he travelled the world in the 1990s promoting his textbook The Writer's Journey - Mythic structure for storytellers and screenwriters. Then he produced a revised edition wondering if some of his assumptions about a universal love of "admirable, virtuous heroes" had contained a cultural bias.

"The Australians distrust appeals to heroic virtue because such concepts have been used to lure generations of young Australian males into fighting Britain's battles," he wrote. "Australians have their heroes, of course, but they tend to be unassuming and self-effacing ... The most admirable hero is one who denies his heroic role as long as possible and who, like Mad Max, avoids accepting responsibility for anyone but himself."

This may explain why Hugh Jackman chose to risk some of his own money in Wolverine, the blockbuster that opens next week. Playing the most damaged loner since Mad Max ("I'm coming for blood - no code of conduct, no law," he says in the trailer) might keep Jackman from the poppy-lopper's scythe for a few months yet.

He is certainly Australia's hero of the moment. The latest Q-Scores survey conducted by Audience Development Australia, in which 2000 people on the east coast were shown 600 photos and asked how they felt about the ones they recognized, produced this ranking of most liked: Hugh Jackman; Andrew Denton; Jennifer Hawkins; Ernie Dingo; Dave Hughes.

And when UMR Research showed a list of celebrities to a different sample of 1000 Australians and asked if they felt positively or negatively about them, these were the most positively rated: Hugh Jackman; Geoffrey Rush; Cate Blanchett; Andrew Denton; Eric Bana.

More revealing is UMR's list of the celebrities who were most negatively rated: Kyle Sandilands; Lara Bingle; Sophie Monk; Paul Hogan; Bert Newton.

A decade ago Newton and Hogan would have been at the other end of the scale, well-ranked in any top ten of popularity. Apparently they flew too high, gave an appearance of vanity instead of humility, and down came the poppies' petals.

But once word of the UMR survey gets out, Our Bert and Our Paul are bound to rise in public esteem. As soon as we're sure they are losers, we can let ourselves start loving them again. Recovery will take a bit longer for Our Mel and Our Eddie.

Go to Comments to discuss whether Australia loves losers.

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). For daily updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 10:44 PM
• Comments (6)

WHO WE ARE: Central yes, but intelligent?

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 19/4/2009
As you know, America's Central Intelligence Agency is omniscient, ubiquitous, and omnipotent -- hence its success in removing Fidel Castro from power in Cuba; in finding the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq; and in capturing Osama bin Laden. So when the CIA turns its attention to Australia, we need to pay attention to what it says.

A painstaking process of investigative journalism* has brought into this column's hands a copy of the CIA's latest report card on Australia. Some of it is fascinating, some of it insulting and some of it disturbing.

After a lot of lively detail about population -- "White 92%, Asian 7%, aboriginal and other 1%" -- and politics -- "Chief of state: Queen of Australia ELIZABETH II (since 6 February 1952) ... the monarch is hereditary" -- the report has this to say under the heading "Illicit drugs":
"Tasmania is one of the world's major suppliers of licit opiate products; government maintains strict controls over areas of opium poppy cultivation and output of poppy straw concentrate; major consumer of cocaine and amphetamines." Presumably that makes us both a good customer and a good supplier for the Americas.

Under the heading "Geography", the CIA reports: "Population concentrated along the eastern and southeastern coasts; the invigorating sea breeze known as the 'Fremantle Doctor' affects the city of Perth on the west coast, and is one of the most consistent winds in the world."

Why this emphasis on a wind in the west? Without wishing to seem eastocentric, I must speak on behalf of the southerly buster, which can be just as invigorating on a hot afternoon as The Doctor, and which brings relief to many more people than any passing puff on the other side. Get your priorities right, CIA.

It seems our environmental record has also been under close scrutiny: "Soil erosion from overgrazing, industrial development, urbanization, and poor farming practices; soil salinity rising due to the use of poor quality water; desertification; clearing for agricultural purposes threatens the natural habitat of many unique animal and plant species; the Great Barrier Reef off the northeast coast, the largest coral reef in the world, is threatened by increased shipping and its popularity as a tourist site; limited natural fresh water resources."

The most worrying commentary appears under the heading "Military". The report displays two lists:
"Manpower available for military service: males age 16-49: 4,999,988; females age 16-49: 4,870,043
Manpower fit for military service: males age 16-49: 4,341,591; females age 16-49: 4,179,659."

A number of questions arise. Why does the CIA need to know how many Australians are available to fight in a war? Is it planning an invasion, and wondering what it's up against? This theory is consistent with an apparently random piece of data elsewhere in the report: "Airports with paved runways: 317; airports with unpaved runways: 144."

Or is it calculating how many of our grunts it can call upon, if America gets caught in another ground war in Asia? Or wondering at what point America might be asked to come to our aid, if we get into trouble with what it calls "Disputes - International". These include "regional states continue to express concern over Australia's 2004 declaration of a 1,000-nautical mile-wide maritime identification zone".

Most baffling of all, how did the CIA work out that 13 per cent of our young men and 14 per cent of our young women are unfit for military service? Have they been looking only at video footage of Corey Worthington and his partying pals?

We may not want to fight for the Americans, or, for that matter, against the Americans, but I'm damned if I'll accept such a calumny upon our brave bronzed boys and girls. Nations have gone to war over lesser insults.

* The research involved putting "CIA Australia" into google, which directed me to World Factbook.

Go to Comments to tell us what you make of the CIA's analysis ...

David Dale is the author of The Little Book of Australia -- A snapshot of who we are (Allen and Unwin). For daily updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in whoweare-index at 10:16 AM
• Comments (4)

The tribal mind: A frenzy of feelgoods

To find out what the CIA thinks of Australia, go to Who We Are.

by David Dale
The marketers of mass entertainment in this country have decided that Australians are down in the dumps, desperately in need of emotional elevation. "A hugely enjoyable feelgood movie" yells the newspaper ad (I've spared you the capital letters) for The Boat That Rocked, a comedy about Britain's pirate radio DJs in the 1960s. "Don't miss the feel-good hit of the season" says the ad for Easy Virtue, a comedy about Britain's class snobbery in the 1920s.

Bottle Shock, a comedy about Californian winemakers, "gives crowd pleasers a good name". Summer Hours, a French melodrama featuring a disconcertingly blonde Juliette Binoche, is "especially moving and life-affirming".

Even The Reader, a drama about an illiterate Nazi camp guard, is promoted as "one of the most uplifting movie experiences of your life". Now that's going too far. The Reader is an interesting film, but uplifting it ain't (except perhaps for adults trying to teach themselves to read). Apparently the marketers think this is not a time in history when a film can be described as "challenging" or "thought provoking". They clearly agree with the poorly punctuated slogan they wrote for Good, Viggo Mortensen's war drama: "Anything that makes people happy can't be bad can it?"

Are we really so deeply in despair that we only want uplift in our entertainment? The marketers can't have read the latest Roy Morgan Consumer Confidence Index, which is actually 2 per cent higher than a year ago (when the economy was booming). In the first week of April, 39 per cent of Australians thought their family would be better off over the next 12 months, while only 16 per cent thought they'd be worse off.

To check if the marketers have judged our needs correctly, lets examine how Australians amused themselves over the Easter break. Nearly 2 million people went to the pictures between Thursday and Tuesday. Based on what the industry calls "screen averages" (ticket sales per cinema), these were Australia's favourite Easter flicks:

1 17 Again, a comedy about a middle aged mind in a teenage body, starring Zac Ephron (famous for High School Musical), which showed on 222 screens and made $4 million
2 Elegy, a drama in which 65 year old Ben Kingsley seduces 34 year old Penelope Cruz, which made $241,000 on 22 screens
3 Monsters Vs Aliens, a spectacular cartoon, which made $4 million on 382 screens
4 Summer Hours, the aforementioned bite of Binoche, which made $200,000 on 21 screens
5 The Boat That Rocked, which made $1.9 million on 293 screens.
(Source: Motion Picture Distributors Association of Australia)

So yes, we did go for some of the feelgoods, but there are limits. The Pink Panther 2, a pathetic waste of Steve Martin's talent, made only $605,000 on 198 screens. Meanwhile, the decidedly non-cheerful Good made $67,000 on 22 screens and The Reader made $191,000 on 45 screens (which brings its total to $3.7 million in eight weeks).

How about those who stayed home for the holidays? Here are two more charts to ponder ...

What Australia watched on DVD over Easter: 1 Australia; 2 High School Musical extended edition (Zac Ephron again); 3 The Dark Knight special edition; 4 Quantum of Solace; 5 Journey to the Centre of the Earth (source: GfK Australia). Three feelgoods out of five there.

What Australia watched on TV over Easter: 1 Seven news (7) 1.5 million in the mainland capitals; 2 Today Tonight (7) 1.4m; 3 Nine news Sunday (9) 1.3 m; 4 60 Minutes (9) 1.2m; Home and Away (7) 1.1m. (Source: OzTAM)

That makes us look more like reality junkies than fantasising escapists. What we didn't watch was anything connected with the religious festival that gave us the holiday in the first place. On Friday, The Life of Jesus (7) drew 158,000 viewers in the mainland capitals. On Saturday a movie described in the program guide as Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ (7) drew 115,000.

The marketers may be forced to conclude that our economic worries have not yet become serious enough to require divine intervention.

Go to Comments to tell us if you think Australians are desperate to feel good.

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). For daily updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 05:08 PM
• Comments (1)

The Who We Are update: The Easter silly season

To find out what the CIA thinks of Australia, go to Who We Are.
To vote for TV's most embarrassing, annoying and underrated, go to The Bogie Awards.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
You can tell it's a non-ratings period when the most watched show of the week is the news, when six of the week's top 20 are repeats, and when the ABC's best performer is a repeat of a whodunit first shown on Channel Nine in 1999.

Seven's collection of repeats earned it 26.7 per cent of the prime time audience, Nine managed 24.2 per cent, Ten 23.5, the ABC 19.4 (a big boost, due largely to Midsomer, Gruen, Specks and Poirot) and SBS 6.1 (thanks mainly to Top Gear, Trawlermen and Mad Men). Can any reader explain why Trawlermen would pull 442,000 to SBS?

This was Pay TV's account of itself for the week: "Subscription TV was the number one source of television around Australia in the week commencing Easter Sunday (week 16, 2009). STV channels accounted for 24.5% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, was 23.0% of all regional viewing and 61.9% of all viewing in subscription TV homes.

"A number of subscription TV's animation programs had their biggest audiences of the year as families enjoyed their Easter break with STV. Family Guy on FOX8 had a record audience for the year with 185,000 viewers as did The Simpsons with 178,000 people. Nickelodeon's Avatar: The Last Airbender had its biggest viewership of the year with 93,000 and SpongeBob SquarePants also had its best result of 2009 with 93,000 viewers. 125,000 people watched the Wednesday night episode of Selling Houses Australia and Sunday night's broadcast of NCIS on TV1 drew 113,000 people. This week, Gilmore Girls on Arena was watched by 85,000 people, The Virgin Trade premiered on Crime & Investigation with 74,000 people and Marple: Ordeal by Innocence premiered on Hallmark with 72,000 viewers.

"In sports programming, Live: NRL Bulldogs v Rabbitohs was seen by 315,000 people, Live: AFL Sydney v Carlton was seen by 162,000 viewers and the fourth game of the one day cricket international between Australia and South Africa, Live: Cricket: ODI RSA v Aus Game 4, was watched by 137,000 (all on FOX Sports). Live: Rugby Union: S14 Waratahs v Force on Saturday night was watched by 93,000 viewers."

What Australia watched, week ending April 18
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,518,000 423,000 405,000 284,000 172,000 234,000
2 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,509,000 408,000 445,000 287,000 183,000 186,000
3 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,455,000 380,000 465,000 226,000 171,000 213,000
4 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,440,000 354,000 383,000 339,000 176,000 188,000
5 NCIS RPT Ten 1,425,000 355,000 427,000 254,000 192,000 197,000
6 BONDI RESCUE Ten 1,424,000 393,000 383,000 300,000 158,000 190,000
7 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,421,000 377,000 391,000 275,000 169,000 210,000
8 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,396,000 385,000 412,000 272,000 128,000 199,000
9 NCIS EP 2 RPT Ten 1,395,000 382,000 398,000 249,000 177,000 189,000
10 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,274,000 403,000 354,000 224,000 165,000 128,000
11 CRIMINAL MINDS (R) Seven 1,242,000 342,000 365,000 212,000 167,000 156,000
12 MIDSOMER MURDERS ABC1 1,234,000 386,000 346,000 155,000 158,000 189,000
13 60 MINUTES Nine 1,221,000 324,000 338,000 257,000 135,000 166,000
14 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE (R) Seven 1,212,000 336,000 374,000 213,000 142,000 147,000
15 THE GRUEN TRANSFER ABC1 1,210,000 424,000 321,000 204,000 126,000 137,000
16 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,184,000 413,000 293,000 208,000 134,000 135,000
17 NEW TRICKS RPT ABC1 1,166,000 329,000 329,000 214,000 128,000 167,000
18 NINE NEWS Nine 1,138,000 309,000 330,000 264,000 126,000 110,000
19 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 1,124,000 333,000 268,000 233,000 116,000 174,000
20 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,122,000 326,000 286,000 207,000 151,000 152,000

21 GETAWAY Nine 1,100,000 294,000 378,000 228,000 97,000 104,000
22 20 TO 1 -RPT Nine 1,100,000 300,000 346,000 206,000 122,000 126,000
23 CUSTOMS Nine 1,100,000 305,000 325,000 214,000 116,000 138,000
24 TWO AND A HALF MEN -MON Nine 1,091,000 288,000 308,000 241,000 116,000 139,000
25 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,081,000 272,000 326,000 260,000 116,000 108,000
26 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,075,000 309,000 321,000 204,000 114,000 127,000
27 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,072,000 281,000 348,000 232,000 121,000 91,000
28 LAW AND ORDER: SVU RPT Ten 1,070,000 310,000 306,000 206,000 119,000 129,000
29 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS Nine 1,064,000 273,000 302,000 236,000 125,000 127,000
30 FIND MY FAMILY (R) Seven 1,063,000 310,000 362,000 160,000 112,000 119,000
31 COMMERCIAL BREAKDOWN Nine 1,055,000 312,000 306,000 195,000 130,000 113,000
32 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,054,000 282,000 336,000 215,000 102,000 118,000
33 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - ELIMINATION Ten 1,046,000 338,000 244,000 215,000 108,000 141,000
34 AFHV - WORLD'S FUNNIEST VIDEOS Nine 1,043,000 294,000 350,000 188,000 118,000 93,000
35 AGATHA CHRISTIE: POIROT ABC1 1,035,000 343,000 280,000 156,000 119,000 138,000
36 JUST FOR LAUGHS - MONTREAL COMEDY FESTIVAL 2008 Ten 1,026,000 248,000 340,000 186,000 134,000 118,000
37 BONDI VET Ten 1,022,000 319,000 199,000 236,000 115,000 153,000
38 TWO AND A HALF MEN -EP2 Nine 1,015,000 257,000 318,000 217,000 115,000 109,000
39 CRIMINAL MINDS (R) - EP 2 Seven 1,013,000 283,000 301,000 188,000 141,000 100,000
40 TWO AND A HALF MEN -EP1 Nine 1,011,000 268,000 297,000 227,000 108,000 111,000
41 RPA Nine 1,000,000 260,000 308,000 217,000 94,000 120,000
(OzTAM mainland capitals)

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,396,000 385,000 412,000 272,000 128,000 199,000
2 NEW TRICKS RPT ABC1 1,166,000 329,000 329,000 214,000 128,000 167,000
3 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,072,000 281,000 348,000 232,000 121,000 91,000
4 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS Nine 1,064,000 273,000 302,000 236,000 125,000 127,000
5 ABC NEWS-SAT ABC1 966,000 261,000 291,000 202,000 102,000 109,000
7 THE BILL ABC1 897,000 287,000 233,000 157,000 86,000 134,000
10 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Ten 655,000 Not shown 361,000 38,000 142,000 115,000
13 M-HOT FUZZ Seven 606,000 143,000 198,000 126,000 62,000 78,000
15 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Ten 515,000 76,000 192,000 48,000 97,000 103,000
19 MYTHBUSTERS SBS 366,000 120,000 74,000 94,000 32,000 46,00
22 IRON CHEF SBS 341,000 106,000 109,000 62,000 31,000 33,000
30 RIPPING YARNS Seven 233,000 71,000 81,000 22,000 38,000 21,000

What Australia watched, Friday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,455,000 380,000 465,000 226,000 171,000 213,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,406,000 385,000 355,000 288,000 143,000 235,000
3 MIDSOMER MURDERS ABC1 1,234,000 386,000 346,000 155,000 158,000 189,000
4 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,209,000 330,000 312,000 225,000 152,000 190,000
5 NINE NEWS Nine 1,159,000 319,000 379,000 228,000 120,000 113,000
6 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,085,000 288,000 341,000 246,000 104,000 106,000
7 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,032,000 288,000 275,000 202,000 142,000 125,000
8 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,019,000 298,000 317,000 200,000 99,000 105,000
9 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 1,014,000 276,000 238,000 221,000 110,000 168,000
12 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 4: BRISBANE VS COLLINGWOOD Seven 867,000 10,000 527,000 85,000 113,000 131,000
20 NINE'S LIVE FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Nine 687,000 358,000 Not shown 329,000 Not shown Not shown
26 NINE'S FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Nine 424,000 250,000 Not shown 174,000 Not shown Not shown
47 INSIDE THE SAUDI KINGDOM SBS 310,000 86,000 104,000 59,000 25,000 36,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)
What Australia watched, Thursday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,395,000 381,000 379,000 272,000 149,000 214,000
2 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,346,000 329,000 388,000 287,000 144,000 198,000
3 20 TO 1 -RPT Nine 1,190,000 317,000 403,000 205,000 120,000 144,000
4 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 1,182,000 367,000 265,000 257,000 119,000 174,000
5 NINE NEWS Nine 1,119,000 275,000 352,000 270,000 121,000 100,000
6 GETAWAY Nine 1,098,000 293,000 377,000 228,000 97,000 103,000
7 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,073,000 323,000 260,000 198,000 142,000 151,000
17 LIFE ON MARS Ten 771,000 203,000 283,000 112,000 90,000 83,000
30 MAD MEN SBS 410,000 166,000 100,000 53,000 44,000 47,000
100 MORNINGS WITH KERRI-ANNE Nine 104,000 39,000 33,000 16,000 4,000 11,000
What Australia watched, Wednesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT - GRAND FINAL Seven 1,510,000 408,000 446,000 288,000 183,000 185,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,500,000 419,000 398,000 257,000 180,000 247,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,461,000 408,000 366,000 271,000 187,000 229,000
4 THE GRUEN TRANSFER ABC1 1,212,000 424,000 319,000 203,000 127,000 138,000
5 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,172,000 344,000 285,000 204,000 162,000 178,000
6 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,170,000 409,000 288,000 208,000 132,000 134,000
7 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 1,133,000 338,000 271,000 228,000 111,000 184,000
8 NINE NEWS Nine 1,126,000 304,000 338,000 263,000 121,000 100,000
9 CRIMINAL MINDS (R) Seven 1,123,000 311,000 331,000 200,000 154,000 126,000
10 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,100,000 337,000 326,000 204,000 109,000 123,000
11 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,097,000 272,000 341,000 239,000 119,000 126,000
12 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,092,000 276,000 325,000 267,000 112,000 113,000
13 RPA Nine 1,005,000 262,000 310,000 216,000 95,000 121,000
14 WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU Nine 938,000 211,000 312,000 204,000 97,000 115,000
21 GUERRILLA GARDENERS Ten 755,000 264,000 194,000 119,000 72,000 106,000
25 LAWRENCE LEUNG'S CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE ABC1 700,000 272,000 206,000 85,000 75,000 63,000
37 LOST Seven 402,000 133,000 118,000 70,000 46,000 35,000

What Australia watched, Tuesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,577,000 421,000 465,000 292,000 181,000 217,000
2 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,545,000 413,000 460,000 293,000 164,000 215,000
3 NCIS RPT Ten 1,430,000 356,000 428,000 256,000 192,000 198,000
4 BONDI RESCUE Ten 1,409,000 389,000 378,000 297,000 157,000 188,000
5 NCIS EP 2 RPT Ten 1,392,000 380,000 398,000 248,000 177,000 188,000
6 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,214,000 344,000 374,000 233,000 122,000 141,000
7 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE (R) Seven 1,212,000 336,000 374,000 213,000 142,000 147,000
8 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,155,000 325,000 334,000 228,000 126,000 143,000
9 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,150,000 340,000 308,000 212,000 147,000 143,000
10 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,127,000 276,000 348,000 270,000 133,000 99,000
11 NINE NEWS Nine 1,121,000 327,000 302,000 267,000 122,000 102,000
31 HELL'S KITCHEN Nine 440,000 106,000 148,000 107,000 48,000 32,000
36 SUNRISE Seven 364,000 121,000 84,000 84,000 32,000 43,000
43 TODAY Nine 327,000 94,000 96,000 83,000 21,000 33,000
44 WALL STREET: THE MELTDOWN SBS 305,000 110,000 84,000 47,000 26,000 39,000

What Australia watched, Monday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,712,000 507,000 427,000 310,000 207,000 261,000
2 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,527,000 401,000 422,000 294,000 197,000 214,000
3 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,190,000 340,000 302,000 219,000 165,000 164,000
4 TEN NEWS AT FIVE Ten 1,154,000 278,000 335,000 229,000 144,000 168,000
5 NINE NEWS Nine 1,149,000 318,000 276,000 283,000 141,000 132,000
6 CUSTOMS Nine 1,104,000 305,000 326,000 219,000 116,000 138,000
7 TWO AND A HALF MEN -MON Nine 1,081,000 287,000 307,000 236,000 114,000 137,000
8 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,077,000 264,000 302,000 261,000 120,000 131,000
9 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - ELIMINATION Ten 1,046,000 338,000 244,000 215,000 108,000 141,000
10 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,032,000 277,000 340,000 187,000 103,000 125,000
12 JUST FOR LAUGHS - MONTREAL COMEDY FESTIVAL 2008 Ten 1,026,000 248,000 340,000 186,000 134,000 118,000
13 TOP GEAR SBS 991,000 256,000 283,000 188,000 127,000 137,000
14 FOUR CORNERS ABC1 936,000 294,000 235,000 181,000 117,000 108,000
15 AUSTRALIAN STORY ABC1 924,000 312,000 229,000 182,000 84,000 116,000
17 SCRUBS - MON Seven 874,000 231,000 274,000 154,000 81,000 134,000
24 MONDAY AFTERNOON AFL Ten 681,000 71,000 330,000 82,000 96,000 102,000
25 SPOOKS ABC1 681,000 199,000 190,000 120,000 86,000 86,000
49 30 ROCK Seven 265,000 73,000 89,000 34,000 24,000 45,000

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
Channels Seven and Nine ended last week neck and neck, each with a modest 26.1 per cent of the prime time audience, while Ten got a healthy (for it) 23.8, ABC a mighty (for it) 18.5 and SBS a standard 5.5. You could say that was the big networks' punishment for lapsing into repeats over Easter, but they'd say they don't care, since "officially" it's not a ratings period.

The big winner in times like this is Pay TV. Here is Pay's account of itself: "Subscription TV was the number one source of television around Australia for week 15, 2009. STV channels accounted for 24.8% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight (up from 22.9% last week), was 22.8% of all regional viewing (up from 21.2%) and 62.0% of all viewing in subscription TV homes, up from 58.8% last week.

In entertainment programming, The Simpsons on FOX8 was watched by 142,000 people on Sunday night while Wednesday's night Selling Houses Australia on Lifestyle had its biggest of the year with 120,000 viewers. Law & Order on W also had its largest audience of the year with 119,000 people on Monday night while NCIS on TV1 had 112,000 viewers on Sunday night. Gilmore Girls achieved its best result of 2009 on Arena on Friday afternoon with 93,000 people and Discovery Channel's Destroyed in Seconds on Thursday was watched by 75,000 viewers.

"In sports programming, Live: NRL Raiders v Cowboys was seen by 297,000 people, Live: AFL Essendon v Fremantle was seen by 228,000 viewers and the one day cricket international between Australia and South Africa, Live: Cricket: ODI RSA v Aus Game 2, was watched by 148,000 (all on FOX Sports). Live: AFL: On The Couch on Monday night had its best audience of the year so far with 140,000 viewers."

What Australia watched, Sunday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,276,000 403,000 354,000 226,000 165,000 128,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,264,000 354,000 383,000 339,000 188,000
3 60 MINUTES Nine 1,214,000 322,000 335,000 256,000 137,000 164,000
4 AGATHA CHRISTIE: POIROT ABC1 1,035,000 343,000 280,000 156,000 119,000 138,000
5 BORDER SECURITY Seven 994,000 305,000 333,000 254,000 102,000
6 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - THE WEIGH-IN Ten 970,000 300,000 242,000 179,000 89,000 159,000
7 ABC NEWS-SUN ABC1 852,000 276,000 202,000 164,000 98,000 111,000
8 MR. & MRS. SMITH -RPT Nine 826,000 213,000 232,000 172,000 69,000 140,000
9 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA - EASTER SPECIAL Ten 802,000 262,000 225,000 142,000 84,000 89,000
11 COASTWATCH - SUN Seven 744,000 253,000 286,000 205,000
15 20 TO 1 -RPT Nine 661,000 279,000 278,000 104,000
16 THE EINSTEIN FACTOR ABC1 597,000 212,000 146,000 122,000 45,000 72,000
17 ROVE Ten 596,000 145,000 205,000 123,000 66,000 58,000
20 NINE'S SUNDAY FOOTBALL Nine 491,000 303,000 188,000
22 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 3: NORTH MELBOURNE VS HAWTHORN Seven 371,000 50,000 208,000 41,000 72,000
30 DEXTER Ten 299,000 85,000 96,000 47,000 36,000 34,000
31 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 3: FREMANTLE VS ADELAIDE Seven 269,000 163,000 106,000
55 SAVED SBS 164,000 57,000 55,000 23,000 11,000 17,000
61 AFL GAME DAY Seven 144,000 94,000 23,000 27,000
69 NETBALL: ANZ CHAMPIONSHIP 2009 LIVE Ten 117,000 58,000 33,000 26,000
76 SUPER LEAGUE Nine 98,000 48,000 51,000
91 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 3: PORT ADELAIDE VS MELBOURNE Seven 66,000 66,000
99 M-MEL GIBSON'S THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST Seven 53,000 16,000 15,000 6,000 10,000 6,000
138 DANOZ Nine 23,000 7,000 4,000 6,000 2,000 4,000
139 GUTHY RENKER Ten 23,000 4,000 9,000 5,000 2,000 4,000

What Australia watched, week ending April 11
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,586,000 458,000 478,000 390,000 163,000 97,000
2 NCIS RPT Ten 1,553,000 462,000 436,000 279,000 176,000 201,000
3 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,529,000 349,000 501,000 293,000 200,000 186,000
4 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,502,000 412,000 407,000 298,000 172,000 213,000
5 60 MINUTES Nine 1,495,000 422,000 422,000 331,000 145,000 175,000
6 BONDI RESCUE Ten 1,489,000 478,000 403,000 279,000 141,000 187,000
7 NCIS EP 2 RPT Ten 1,414,000 393,000 428,000 234,000 168,000 192,000
8 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,385,000 377,000 368,000 278,000 160,000 202,000
9 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - THE WEIGH-IN Ten 1,319,000 377,000 329,000 271,000 142,000 199,000
10 WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU Nine 1,304,000 359,000 377,000 252,000 141,000 176,000
11 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA Ten 1,271,000 353,000 375,000 250,000 149,000 145,000
12 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,270,000 310,000 346,000 294,000 121,000 199,000
13 CUSTOMS Nine 1,243,000 330,000 393,000 225,000 144,000 150,000
14 RPA Nine 1,240,000 331,000 345,000 248,000 146,000 170,000
15 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,219,000 444,000 300,000 223,000 118,000 133,000
16 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,211,000 342,000 218,000 253,000 197,000 201,000
17 TWO AND A HALF MEN -MON Nine 1,210,000 309,000 383,000 250,000 132,000 136,000
18 BORDER SECURITY (R) Seven 1,185,000 385,000 376,000 303,000 121,000
19 TWO AND A HALF MEN -EP1 Nine 1,166,000 327,000 403,000 226,000 102,000 109,000
20 TWO AND A HALF MEN -EP2 Nine 1,163,000 331,000 401,000 212,000 106,000 114,000
21 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - ELIMINATION Ten 1,163,000 322,000 317,000 223,000 133,000 167,000
22 AGATHA CHRISTIE: POIROT ABC1 1,147,000 367,000 299,000 194,000 120,000 166,000
23 COMMERCIAL BREAKDOWN Nine 1,140,000 276,000 392,000 225,000 138,000 109,000
24 NINE NEWS Nine 1,135,000 305,000 349,000 249,000 134,000 98,000
25 SUNDAY NIGHT Seven 1,130,000 313,000 331,000 285,000 94,000 107,000
26 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA - RESULTS Ten 1,124,000 307,000 387,000 199,000 108,000 123,000
27 CRIMINAL MINDS (R) Seven 1,123,000 287,000 300,000 218,000 146,000 172,000
28 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE (R) Seven 1,117,000 299,000 322,000 209,000 141,000 146,000
29 FIND MY FAMILY (R) Seven 1,104,000 287,000 311,000 198,000 132,000 175,000
30 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,102,000 290,000 379,000 212,000 129,000 92,000
31 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,094,000 310,000 287,000 220,000 132,000 145,000
32 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,081,000 275,000 327,000 255,000 123,000 101,000
33 ABC NEWS-SU ABC1 1,072,000 307,000 311,000 218,000 127,000 108,000
34 THE GRUEN TRANSFER ABC1 1,071,000 361,000 298,000 186,000 115,000 111,000
35 ADULTS ONLY 20 TO 1 Nine 1,067,000 269,000 298,000 253,000 122,000 125,000
36 GETAWAY Nine 1,066,000 282,000 367,000 195,000 124,000 98,000
37 GOOD NEWS WEEK Ten 1,065,000 252,000 369,000 214,000 109,000 120,000
38 WORLD'S GOT TALENT (R) Seven 1,057,000 297,000 283,000 206,000 121,000 151,000
39 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS Nine 1,050,000 280,000 296,000 227,000 115,000 132,000
40 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,050,000 272,000 326,000 215,000 120,000 117,000
41 AFHV - WORLD'S FUNNIEST VIDEOS Nine 1,040,000 263,000 335,000 212,000 113,000 117,000
42 NEW TRICKS RPT ABC1 1,040,000 317,000 269,000 168,000 133,000 152,000
43 CRIMINAL MINDS (R) - EP 2 Seven 1,036,000 280,000 293,000 185,000 122,000 155,000
44 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 1,030,000 284,000 257,000 215,000 110,000 164,000
45 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,029,000 295,000 313,000 195,000 106,000 119,000

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,270,000 310,000 346,000 294,000 121,000 199,000
2 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,102,000 290,000 379,000 212,000 129,000 92,000
3 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS Nine 1,050,000 280,000 296,000 227,000 115,000 132,000
4 NEW TRICKS RPT ABC1 1,040,000 317,000 269,000 168,000 133,000 152,000
5 ABC NEWS-SA ABC1 854,000 254,000 247,000 158,000 80,000 115,000
6 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Ten 832,000 97,000 423,000 113,000 100,000 99,000
7 TEN NEWS AT FIVE SAT Ten 829,000 270,000 149,000 185,000 87,000 138,000
9 THE BILL ABC1 750,000 198,000 209,000 122,000 108,000 113,000
10 THE PINK PANTHER Nine 737,000 215,000 165,000 147,000 50,000 106,000
16 M- TRADING PLACES RPT Ten 409,000 100,000 152,000 53,000 52,000 51,000
17 M-THE VILLAGE Seven 403,000 116,000 91,000 103,000 48,000 44,000
26 THE BEST OF TROPFEST 2009 Nine 285,000 103,000 69,000 58,000 26,000 29,000
64 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Ten 125,000 Not shown Not shown Not shown Not shown 125,000
67 M-MEL GIBSON'S THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST Seven 115,000 29,000 36,000 23,000 12,000 14,000

What Australia watched, Good Friday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,410,000 362,000 381,000 300,000 163,000 204,000
2 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,300,000 332,000 380,000 268,000 159,000 162,000
3 NINE NEWS Nine 1,156,000 299,000 388,000 257,000 137,000 75,000
4 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,060,000 291,000 293,000 207,000 142,000 127,000
5 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,024,000 260,000 333,000 229,000 115,000 88,000
6 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 992,000 342,000 253,000 197,000 201,000
7 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 975,000 274,000 279,000 195,000 122,000 105,000
8 TEN NEWS AT FIVE Ten 972,000 234,000 293,000 164,000 118,000 164,000
9 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 877,000 209,000 212,000 186,000 90,000 179,000
10 ABC NEWS ABC1 871,000 232,000 275,000 159,000 98,000 108,000
11 REBUS ABC1 786,000 237,000 204,000 100,000 113,000 132,000
13 NINE'S LIVE FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Nine 745,000 395,000 Not shown 350,000 Not shown Not shown
29 NINE'S FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Nine 408,000 246,000 Not shown 162,000 Not shown Not shown
77 UNFOLDING FLORENCE RPT SBS 182,000 60,000 53,000 25,000 22,000 21,000
90 THE LIFE OF JESUS Seven 158,000 85,000 18,000 20,000 15,000 20,000

What Australia watched, Thursday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,274,000 323,000 370,000 244,000 148,000 189,000
2 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,204,000 282,000 318,000 258,000 150,000 196,000
3 NINE NEWS Nine 1,068,000 276,000 319,000 276,000 132,000 64,000
4 ADULTS ONLY 20 TO 1 Nine 1,067,000 269,000 298,000 253,000 122,000 125,000
5 GETAWAY Nine 1,066,000 282,000 367,000 195,000 124,000 98,000
6 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,001,000 242,000 273,000 286,000 113,000 87,000
15 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 3: GEELONG VS COLLINGWOOD Seven 748,000 29,000 486,000 10,000 115,000 108,000
18 PRIVATE PRACTICE Seven 717,000 206,000 190,000 145,000 79,000 97,000
21 LIFE ON MARS Ten 643,000 199,000 165,000 127,000 74,000 77,000
42 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 3: GEELONG VS COLLINGWOOD - AFTER THE GAME Seven 273,000 188,000 50,000 35,000
59 DAVID OGILVY: THE FIRST MAD MAN SBS 193,000 58,000 59,000 31,000 25,000 20,000
120 THE MEN WHO WOULD CONQUER CHINA ABC1 64,000 35,000 14,000 3,000 7,000 5,000
121 WILDSIDE ABC1 64,000 22,000 16,000 11,000 6,000 8,000
138 NEWSHOUR WITH JIM LEHRER SBS 47,000 9,000 13,000 13,000 10,000 2,000
143 UCL LIVE 1ST LEG LIVERPOOL V CHELSEA SBS 44,000 26,000 7,000 6,000 2,000 4,000
146 UCL DELAYED 1ST LEG BARCELONA V B MUNICH SBS 41,000 28,000 7,000 3,000 2,000 1,000
159 RISE & SHINE Nine 29,000 11,000 4,000 12,000 2,000
160 THE COOK AND THE CHEF-PM ABC2 29,000 21,000 4,000 0 3,000 0
161 KENNETH COPELAND Ten 28,000 11,000 7,000 7,000 2,000 0
163 HOME SHOPPING (R) Seven 27,000 7,000 11,000 2,000 4,000 2,000
164 GLOBAL SHOP RPT Ten 26,000 10,000 7,000 7,000 2,000 0
165 NEUE FREUNDE-AM ABC1 26,000 12,000 1,000 6,000 3,000 5,000
166 FIFA FUTBOL MUNDIAL SBS 26,000 11,000 3,000 3,000 6,000 3,000
167 LITTLE BEAR-PM ABC2 25,000 10,000 13,000 0 0 3,000
168 NBC TODAY Seven 23,000 10,000 4,000 5,000 2,000 2,000
169 LIFE TODAY WITH JAMES ROBISON Ten 22,000 9,000 6,000 4,000 2,000 0
170 DATELINE RPT SBS 21,000 11,000 3,000 6,000 2,000 0
171 NATIONAL PRESS CLUB ADDRESS ABC1 21,000 12,000 2,000 5,000 1,000 1,000
175 PHOENIX NIGHTS-LE ABC2 19,000 4,000 6,000 3,000 5,000 1,000
176 THE KEVIN BISHOP SHOW-LE ABC2 19,000 0 1,000 9,000 4,000 5,000
177 GOOD MORNING AMERICA Nine 19,000 9,000 3,000 3,000 2,000 2,000
178 DANOZ Nine 19,000 6,000 6,000 2,000 3,000 2,000
185 ABC NEWS BREAKFAST-AM ABC2 16,000 7,000 2,000 6,000 0 0
187 YO GABBA GABBA!-AM ABC2 16,000 0 9,000 1,000 2,000 4,000
189 THIS IS YOUR DAY WITH BENNY HINN RPT Ten 15,000 8,000 4,000 0 3,000 0
191 GUTHY-RENKER AUSTRALIA Nine 15,000 4,000 5,000 0 3,000 3,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

What Australia watched, Wednesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,508,000 431,000 385,000 303,000 176,000 214,000
2 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,363,000 367,000 337,000 285,000 157,000 217,000
3 WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU Nine 1,310,000 362,000 378,000 254,000 140,000 176,000
4 RPA Nine 1,230,000 326,000 342,000 246,000 147,000 169,000
5 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,228,000 447,000 301,000 226,000 118,000 135,000
6 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,100,000 305,000 269,000 253,000 128,000 146,000
7 THE GRUEN TRANSFER ABC1 1,087,000 368,000 302,000 188,000 116,000 112,000
8 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 1,078,000 335,000 268,000 186,000 122,000 166,000
9 CRIMINAL MINDS (R) Seven 1,074,000 283,000 296,000 200,000 133,000 163,000
10 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,059,000 294,000 320,000 207,000 119,000 117,000
12 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,033,000 252,000 313,000 227,000 122,000 119,000
14 NINE NEWS Nine 1,007,000 247,000 319,000 203,000 119,000 119,000
17 HOUSE Ten 933,000 213,000 261,000 211,000 97,000 151,000
20 GUERRILLA GARDENERS Ten 800,000 246,000 231,000 148,000 77,000 99,000
28 LAWRENCE LEUNG'S CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE ABC1 551,000 192,000 179,000 84,000 53,000 43,000
32 AT THE MOVIES ABC1 407,000 148,000 137,000 48,000 34,000 40,000
35 LOST Seven 389,000 124,000 101,000 74,000 40,000 50,000

What Australia watched, Tuesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,585,000 473,000 421,000 295,000 171,000 226,000
2 NCIS RPT Ten 1,558,000 462,000 438,000 278,000 177,000 202,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,503,000 464,000 368,000 294,000 163,000 215,000
4 BONDI RESCUE Ten 1,490,000 476,000 404,000 280,000 142,000 188,000
5 NCIS EP 2 RPT Ten 1,386,000 384,000 421,000 228,000 166,000 187,000
6 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 1,184,000 352,000 303,000 225,000 125,000 179,000
7 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,179,000 364,000 306,000 217,000 124,000 167,000
8 NINE NEWS Nine 1,153,000 327,000 331,000 258,000 128,000 110,000
9 COMMERCIAL BREAKDOWN Nine 1,135,000 277,000 389,000 226,000 134,000 109,000
18 NEIGHBOURS Ten 828,000 234,000 263,000 147,000 82,000 102,000
22 HELL'S KITCHEN Nine 625,000 147,000 236,000 119,000 73,000 51,000
42 THE MR MEN SHOW-AM ABC1 295,000 103,000 82,000 42,000 23,000 45,000
43 CHOP SOCKY CHOOKS-PM ABC1 294,000 66,000 65,000 93,000 23,000 48,000
44 WILLA'S WILD LIFE-AM ABC1 288,000 94,000 87,000 44,000 23,000 40,000
45 ZIGBY-AM ABC1 284,000 96,000 101,000 31,000 20,000 35,000
46 TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND-PM ABC1 268,000 68,000 58,000 83,000 21,000 37,000
48 MAMA MIRABELLE'S HOME MOVIES-AM ABC1 262,000 75,000 108,000 30,000 19,000 30,000
49 CHUGGINGTON-AM ABC1 262,000 70,000 122,000 29,000 21,000 21,000
50 BEST ED-AM ABC1 256,000 81,000 74,000 35,000 22,000 45,000
53 KID VS KAT-PM ABC1 231,000 46,000 56,000 85,000 17,000 27,000
55 ESCAPE FROM SCORPION ISLAND-PM ABC1 229,000 54,000 46,000 77,000 19,000 33,000
58 CHARLIE AND LOLA-AM ABC1 223,000 65,000 102,000 24,000 12,000 20,000
59 SHAUN THE SHEEP-PM ABC1 219,000 45,000 59,000 76,000 15,000 24,000
61 OLD TOM-AM ABC1 210,000 70,000 60,000 37,000 19,000 24,000
62 CLASSIC TALES-PM ABC1 209,000 46,000 59,000 68,000 13,000 22,000
64 PLAY SCHOOL-AM ABC1 202,000 50,000 96,000 36,000 5,000 14,000

What Australia watched, Monday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,735,000 472,000 478,000 346,000 205,000 233,000
2 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,549,000 439,000 433,000 286,000 169,000 222,000
3 NINE NEWS Nine 1,283,000 376,000 386,000 247,000 154,000 121,000
4 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,257,000 324,000 403,000 273,000 149,000 108,000
5 CUSTOMS Nine 1,225,000 325,000 387,000 221,000 145,000 147,000
6 TWO AND A HALF MEN -MON Nine 1,210,000 310,000 383,000 250,000 132,000 136,000
7 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,180,000 330,000 324,000 240,000 143,000 143,000
8 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,179,000 314,000 366,000 237,000 139,000 123,000
9 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - ELIMINATION Ten 1,160,000 322,000 316,000 222,000 133,000 166,000
10 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,157,000 338,000 359,000 215,000 104,000 141,000
11 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA - RESULTS Ten 1,125,000 307,000 386,000 200,000 108,000 124,000
15 TOP GEAR SBS 1,015,000 285,000 302,000 191,000 119,000 118,000
16 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES EP1 -RPT Nine 1,004,000 264,000 308,000 171,000 115,000 145,000
18 FOUR CORNERS ABC1 957,000 266,000 295,000 177,000 99,000 120,000
21 SCRUBS - MON Seven 888,000 260,000 253,000 168,000 69,000 139,000
22 M-FATHER OF THE BRIDE - PART II Seven 881,000 272,000 283,000 138,000 84,000 104,000
27 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES EP2 -RPT Nine 759,000 188,000 233,000 143,000 85,000 110,000
28 SPOOKS ABC1 660,000 191,000 228,000 90,000 71,000 80,000
57 30 ROCK Seven 233,000 52,000 93,000 28,000 37,000 24,000

What Australia watched, Sunday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,586,000 458,000 478,000 390,000 163,000 97,000
2 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,530,000 349,000 501,000 294,000 199,000 187,000
3 60 MINUTES Nine 1,486,000 419,000 417,000 332,000 145,000 173,000
4 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - THE WEIGH-IN Ten 1,309,000 374,000 327,000 269,000 141,000 198,000
5 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA Ten 1,274,000 354,000 375,000 250,000 150,000 145,000
6 BORDER SECURITY (R) Seven 1,178,000 383,000 374,000 302,000 120,000
7 AGATHA CHRISTIE: POIROT ABC1 1,147,000 367,000 299,000 194,000 120,000 166,000
8 SUNDAY NIGHT Seven 1,131,000 314,000 331,000 285,000 94,000 107,000
12 THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION -RPT Nine 942,000 269,000 296,000 190,000 84,000 103,000
15 ROVE Ten 833,000 210,000 282,000 164,000 98,000 78,000
22 NINE'S SUNDAY FOOTBALL Nine 486,000 301,000 Not shown 186,000 Not shown Not shown
26 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 2: WESTERN BULLDOGS VS NORTH MELBOURNE Seven 366,000 46,000 277,000 42,000 Not shown Not shown
27 DEXTER Ten 365,000 86,000 115,000 78,000 39,000 45,000
33 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 2: WEST COAST VS PORT ADELAIDE Seven 278,000 Not shown Not shown Not shown 138,000 140,000
56 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 2: ESSENDON VS FREMANTLE Seven 171,000 Not shown Not shown Not shown 58,000 113,000
83 NETBALL ANZ CHAMPIONSHIP 2009 Ten 110,000 33,000 29,000 27,000 21,000

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). For daily updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind, in whoweare-index at 04:31 AM
• Comments (89)

The Tribal Mind: Let us tie our own bundles of joy

To find out what the CIA thinks of Australia, go to Who We Are.
To vote for TV's most embarrassing, annoying and underrated, go to The Bogie Awards.

by David Dale
They keep saying it's about quality, not quantity; about diversity, not standardisation; encouraging individual eccentricity instead of enforcing mass conformity; brave battlers resisting big bullies; stimulating the thoughtful rather than pandering to the lowest common denominator. But when they suddenly get a giant audience, they don't mind boasting about it.

Last week one program on Pay TV created a record - the most watched event in the 13 year history of Australian subscription television. The audience size was 431,000.

That number seems pretty small to me. Every week on free to air television, Underbelly draws 2.2 million viewers in the mainland capitals to Channel Nine. Some 4 million watched the men's final of the Australian Open tennis on Channel Seven in 2005. And here's Foxtel wetting itself about the revelation that 431,000 watched a soccer match between Australia and Uzbekistan.

Consider the context. While free to air television is fading away, Pay TV is booming, with an audience growing at the rate of 6 per cent a year. Out of 7.5 million homes with TV sets in Australia, 2.2 million get Foxtel or Austar by cable or satellite - up from 1.8 million three years ago. And here are the record breakers ...

The most watched programs of all time on Pay TV: 1 Soccer: World Cup Qualifier, Australia V Uzbekistan (2009) 431,000; 2 Soccer: AFC Asian Cup Japan V Australia (2007) 419,000; 3 Cricket: Chappell-Hadlee trophy (2007) 415,000; 4 Cricket: South Africa V Australia Test, Day 2 (2009) 358,000; 5 Rugby Union: Bledisloe Cup (2008) 350,000. Perhaps we will learn more from another list ...

The most watched non-sporting programs of all time on Pay TV: 1 Parkinson: The Shane Warne interview (2007) 332,000; 2 High School Musical 2 premiere (2007) 314,000; 3 Australia's Next Top Model finale (2008) 259,000; 4 Die Hard 4.0 premiere (2008) 244,000; 5 Rock Star Supernova (2006) 235,000. Pay's most watched regular shows, attracting close to 200,000 viewers for some episodes, are The Simpsons and Family Guy.

Of course, by reporting the moments when Pay stations have come closest to the mass market, I am missing the point, which is that Pay exists to provide alternatives for the discriminating minority. In the past 12 months, four programs have almost justified the $100 a month I pay for Foxtel IQ - True Blood, In Treatment, Mad Men and Terminator: The Sara Connor Chronicles.

I said "almost". Pay must take one more step if it wants ever to reach a majority of the population. It should offer genuine freedom of choice. At the moment I have to pay a basic fee for access to a "bundle" of 50 channels, most of which I don't want. And I must pay extra if I want The Sci-Fi channel, the Comedy channel, History, Bio, Ovation, Food, Science, Travel or Crime.

Here's my challenge to the Pay providers: Set your subscribers free. Instead of behaving like the broadcast bullies and imposing a fixed bundle of programs on every viewer, let us do our own bundling. Set a minimum price of, say, $60 a month, and let the subscriber choose any 30 channels from a menu of 100. Let me dump the sports and the shopping and the religion and replace them with history, food and comedy.

You may no longer get numbers like 431,000 for a soccer match, but you will earn our undying respect.

What "bundle" of programs would encourage you to subscribe to Pay TV? Tell us at Comments

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). For daily updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 06:01 AM
• Comments (26)

The Who We Are update: Week 17

To vote on the most annoying, embarrassing and underrated programs and people on Australian television, go to The Bogies.
To find out what the CIA thinks of Australia, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10am Monday
You can always rely on old Bill. When your audience is sinking, bring out Mr Connolly and he'll put you back on top. Channel Seven, lacking Packed To The Rafters and with Ten eating away at its audience, was neck and neck with Nine for most of the week. But after Saturday, it ended with 28.0 per cent of the prime time audience, while Nine got 26.1 per cent, Ten got 22.8, the ABC got 17.4, and SBS got 5.7.

This was Pay TV's account of itself: "On ANZAC Day, the History Channel's production For Valour, documenting the tales of bravery by Australian Victoria Cross winners, premiered with 68,000 viewers. In the same week, Family Guy on FOX8 was watched by 145,000 people, Grand Designs on Lifestyle had its biggest audience this year with 132,000 viewers and 108,000 people watched Law & Order: SVU on TV1. My Family on UKTV had its largest audience year-to-date with 78,000 subscribers and the movie Gone Baby Gone premiered on Movie One with 73,000 viewers. In children's programming, Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney Channel had its best result so far for 2009 with 99,000 viewers while SpongeBob SquarePants on Nickelodeon was seen by 78,000 people this week.

"In sports programming, FOX Sports coverage of Live: NRL Cowboys v Sea Eagles was seen by 330,000 people and is the biggest NRL audience for subscription TV so far this year. Live: AFL West Coast v Western Bulldogs was seen by 223,000 people; the first one day cricket international between Australia and Pakistan, Live: Cricket: ODI Pak v Aust 1st ODI S1, was watched by 150,000 and Live: AFL Teams on Thursday night was had its best result of 2009 with 82,000 viewers (all on FOX Sports).

"Subscription TV was the number one source of television around Australia in the week of ANZAC Day (week 17, 2009). STV channels accounted for 22.5% of all metropolitan viewing between 6am and midnight, was 21.8% of all regional viewing and 58.8% of all viewing in subscription TV homes"

What Australia watched, week ending April 24
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES -EP1 Nine 1,813,000 530,000 610,000 254,000 182,000 237,000
2 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES -EP2 Nine 1,803,000 512,000 615,000 268,000 176,000 232,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,649,000 402,000 494,000 334,000 162,000 257,000
4 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,610,000 437,000 467,000 329,000 186,000 191,000
5 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,605,000 439,000 530,000 309,000 154,000 172,000
6 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,522,000 414,000 413,000 290,000 173,000 233,000
7 60 MINUTES Nine 1,507,000 405,000 473,000 338,000 151,000 139,000
8 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,488,000 399,000 464,000 257,000 157,000 210,000
9 THE FORCE - BEHIND THE LINE Seven 1,482,000 446,000 422,000 287,000 128,000 199,000
10 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,477,000 347,000 510,000 210,000 195,000 215,000
11 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,448,000 392,000 399,000 291,000 160,000 206,000
12 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,384,000 427,000 418,000 266,000 153,000 121,000
13 NCIS RPT Ten 1,378,000 386,000 383,000 242,000 182,000 185,000
14 BORDER SECURITY USA Seven 1,366,000 381,000 413,000 288,000 119,000 166,000
15 MISSING PIECES Nine 1,349,000 349,000 435,000 231,000 136,000 198,000
16 10 YEARS YOUNGER IN 10 DAYS Seven 1,348,000 394,000 431,000 181,000 154,000 187,000

17 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,328,000 370,000 375,000 235,000 149,000 200,000
18 BONDI RESCUE Ten 1,318,000 379,000 343,000 244,000 168,000 185,000
19 DOMESTIC BLITZ Nine 1,291,000 378,000 352,000 287,000 149,000 125,000
20 BILLY CONNOLLY: JOURNEY TO THE EDGE OF THE WORLD Seven 1,257,000 343,000 421,000 253,000 119,000 122,000
21 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,250,000 411,000 349,000 229,000 108,000 152,000
22 THE GRUEN TRANSFER ABC1 1,241,000 427,000 368,000 211,000 99,000 137,000
23 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 1,234,000 363,000 337,000 245,000 127,000 161,000
24 CRIMINAL MINDS Seven 1,229,000 300,000 410,000 229,000 135,000 154,000
25 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - THE WEIGH-IN Ten 1,200,000 359,000 310,000 245,000 134,000 151,000
26 MIDSOMER MURDERS-EV ABC1 1,182,000 348,000 370,000 160,000 139,000 164,000
27 CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION Nine 1,179,000 323,000 371,000 226,000 130,000 129,000
28 ALL SAINTS Seven 1,173,000 343,000 354,000 181,000 126,000 168,000
29 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA Ten 1,148,000 367,000 356,000 185,000 121,000 118,000
30 NINE NEWS Nine 1,142,000 300,000 380,000 242,000 117,000 103,000
31 NEW TRICKS RPT ABC1 1,138,000 340,000 297,000 221,000 138,000 142,000
32 LAW AND ORDER: SVU Ten 1,123,000 360,000 288,000 216,000 118,000 141,000
33 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - ELIMINATION Ten 1,122,000 336,000 308,000 231,000 102,000 146,000
34 ANZAC DAY AFL Ten 1,113,000 74,000 664,000 72,000 145,000 158,000
35 BONES Seven 1,105,000 299,000 355,000 182,000 128,000 142,000
36 YOU SAVED MY LIFE Nine 1,103,000 311,000 323,000 204,000 98,000 167,000
37 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,099,000 280,000 365,000 239,000 110,000 103,000
38 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,093,000 314,000 284,000 212,000 143,000 140,000
39 THE VICAR OF DIBLEY Seven 1,091,000 320,000 356,000 203,000 105,000 107,000
40 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,081,000 275,000 377,000 218,000 89,000 122,000
41 THE ALL NEW SIMPSONS WED Ten 1,067,000 282,000 353,000 200,000 103,000 129,000
42 COLD CASE Nine 1,054,000 294,000 389,000 155,000 123,000 92,000
322 FIA FORMULA ONE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP 2009 ONE 144,000 32,000 49,000 24,000 24,000 15,000
401 THE GRUEN TRANSFER-EV ABC2 91,000 17,000 20,000 17,000 17,000 19,000
439 SPORTS TONIGHT - THE WEEKEND WRAP ONE 67,000 21,000 25,000 5,000 10,000 6,000
486 POKER: EUROPEAN TOUR ONE 49,000 4,000 18,000 9,000 8,000 10,000
494 FIA FORMULA ONE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP 2009 - QUAL ONE 48,000 10,000 13,000 5,000 13,000 7,000
506 IPL TWENTY20 CRICKET 2009 LIVE ONE 46,000 15,000 11,000 5,000 7,000 7,000
513 IPL TWENTY20 CRICKET 2009 ONE 44,000 9,000 15,000 9,000 7,000 5,000
518 NASCAR SPRINT CUP HAPPY HOUR 2009 ONE 43,000 9,000 16,000 6,000 7,000 4,000
522 THURSDAY NIGHT LIVE ONE 42,000 1,000 19,000 13,000 4,000 5,000
557 IPL TWENTY20 CRICKET 2009 REPLAY RPT ONE 37,000 12,000 12,000 7,000 5,000 1,000
567 NETBALL: ANZ CHAMPIONSHIP 2009 ONE 35,000 6,000 17,000 2,000 6,000 3,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,605,000 439,000 530,000 309,000 154,000 172,000
2 BILLY CONNOLLY: JOURNEY TO THE EDGE OF THE WORLD Seven 1,257,000 343,000 421,000 253,000 119,000 122,000
3 NEW TRICKS RPT ABC1 1,138,000 340,000 297,000 221,000 138,000 142,000
4 ANZAC DAY AFL Ten 1,113,000 74,000 664,000 72,000 145,000 158,000
5 THE VICAR OF DIBLEY Seven 1,091,000 320,000 356,000 203,000 105,000 107,000
6 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,051,000 247,000 304,000 232,000 156,000 113,000
7 KATH & KIM (R) Seven 1,030,000 282,000 350,000 210,000 85,000 102,000
8 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS Nine 981,000 247,000 261,000 179,000 154,000 141,000
9 KUNG FU PANDA: SECRETS OF THE FURIOUS FIVE Nine 915,000 221,000 264,000 187,000 133,000 110,000
10 THE BILL ABC1 870,000 272,000 217,000 151,000 113,000 119,000
14 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Ten 720,000 72,000 338,000 59,000 115,000 136,000
16 ANZAC DAY MARCH 2009-AM ABC1 663,000 217,000 182,000 123,000 70,000 71,000
21 GALLIPOLI DAWN SERVICE (2009)-PM ABC1 482,000 160,000 137,000 95,000 48,000 42,000
27 MYTHBUSTERS SBS 377,000 108,000 104,000 78,000 36,000 52,000
30 THE IRON CHEF SBS 358,000 113,000 116,000 65,000 31,000 32,000
31 VILLERS-BRETONNEUX MEMORIAL SERVICE (2009)-PM ABC1 343,000 126,000 54,000 80,000 38,000 44,000
57 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Ten 154,000 Not shown Not shown Not shown Not shown 154,000

The ratings race, updated 10 am Saturday
At this point in the week, Channel Seven is ahead, with 27.8 per cent of the prime time audience to Nine's 26.8, and nothing tonight is likely to change that situation, with Nine putting Monster House against Seven's Independence Day. The chart below shows a sampling of results for Channel Ten's new sports station, called ONE.

What Australia watched, and what it hardly watched, Friday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,477,000 347,000 510,000 210,000 195,000 215,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,404,000 349,000 422,000 243,000 162,000 228,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,289,000 338,000 360,000 259,000 142,000 191,000
4 MIDSOMER MURDERS ABC1 1,182,000 348,000 370,000 160,000 139,000 164,000
5 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 1,084,000 323,000 295,000 209,000 123,000 135,000
13 TEN NEWS AT FIVE Ten 880,000 215,000 279,000 146,000 114,000 128,000
17 DEAL OR NO DEAL Seven 720,000 199,000 201,000 123,000 84,000 113,000
19 NINE'S LIVE FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Nine 716,000 343,000 Not shown 374,000 Not shown Not shown
20 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 5: PORT ADELAIDE VS ST KILDA Seven 704,000 11,000 424,000 17,000 145,000 107,000
22 HOT SEAT Nine 605,000 166,000 239,000 80,000 64,000 56,000
30 NINE'S FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Nine 405,000 232,000 Not shown 173,000 Not shown
32 M-THE LAST TEMPLAR Seven 395,000 231,000 Not shown 164,000 Not shown Not shown
39 BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE 2 -RPT Nine 291,000 Not shown 214,000 Not shown Not shown 77,000
44 DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA YA SISTERHOOD Nine 240,000 Not shown 134,000 Not shown 47,000 60,000
122 BUFFY: THE VAMPIRE SLAYER Ten 67,000 34,000 12,000 1,000 8,000 12,000
129 POKER: EUROPEAN TOUR ONE 47,000 4,000 18,000 10,000 8,000 7,000
170 NINE'S FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL LATE Nine 25,000 Not shown 13,000 Not shown 4,000 8,000
176 RAGE ABC1 23,000 11,000 7,000 1,000 3,000 2,000
197 THE GLASS HOUSE RPT ABC1 15,000 4,000 6,000 2,000 2,000 2,000
212 BIG FISH ONE 9,000 2,000 6,000 0 1,000
238 XTREME PAINTBALL: BEYOND THE PAINT RPT ONE 2,000 0 0 0 1,000

What Australia watched, Thursday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,419,000 383,000 386,000 296,000 174,000 180,000
2 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,392,000 353,000 422,000 287,000 156,000 174,000
3 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 1,226,000 383,000 311,000 237,000 138,000 157,000
4 LAW AND ORDER: SVU Ten 1,123,000 360,000 288,000 216,000 118,000 141,000
5 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,085,000 326,000 333,000 191,000 115,000 119,000
6 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,082,000 258,000 398,000 225,000 84,000 118,000
7 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,064,000 311,000 306,000 198,000 137,000 112,000
8 20 TO 1 Nine 1,054,000 269,000 379,000 177,000 108,000 120,000
9 GETAWAY Nine 1,054,000 283,000 360,000 206,000 104,000 101,000
10 NINE NEWS Nine 1,031,000 271,000 333,000 219,000 120,000 88,000
11 GHOST WHISPERER Seven 1,017,000 330,000 321,000 154,000 106,000 106,000
12 BONDI VET Ten 1,012,000 295,000 274,000 200,000 105,000 139,000
13 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 954,000 222,000 326,000 213,000 103,000 91,000
14 GREY'S ANATOMY Seven 936,000 264,000 281,000 165,000 106,000 120,000
15 THE FOOTY SHOW Nine 924,000 176,000 413,000 108,000 105,000 123,000
16 TEN NEWS AT FIVE Ten 912,000 228,000 289,000 146,000 129,000 121,000
21 DEAL OR NO DEAL Seven 781,000 221,000 224,000 168,000 90,000 78,000
24 LIFE ON MARS Ten 659,000 189,000 207,000 107,000 74,000 82,000
27 HOT SEAT Nine 539,000 171,000 172,000 86,000 67,000 44,000
30 HEROES Seven 398,000 138,000 123,000 59,000 35,000 44,000
35 MAD MEN SBS 336,000 139,000 94,000 50,000 18,000 34,000

What Australia watched, Wednesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT - GRAND FINAL PART 2 Seven 1,610,000 437,000 467,000 329,000 186,000 191,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,556,000 418,000 413,000 293,000 172,000 261,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,505,000 393,000 416,000 305,000 163,000 228,000
4 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 1,295,000 357,000 371,000 275,000 116,000 176,000
5 THE GRUEN TRANSFER ABC1 1,244,000 428,000 366,000 212,000 99,000 138,000
6 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,240,000 407,000 347,000 228,000 108,000 151,000
7 CRIMINAL MINDS Seven 1,228,000 300,000 410,000 229,000 135,000 154,000
12 THE ALL NEW SIMPSONS FALLOUT BOY SPECIAL Ten 1,062,000 280,000 351,000 199,000 103,000 128,000
16 HOUSE Ten 946,000 223,000 276,000 182,000 104,000 161,000
17 WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU Nine 942,000 239,000 297,000 209,000 71,000 127,000
18 THE MENTALIST Nine 936,000 325,000 286,000 160,000 74,000 91,000
19 TEN NEWS AT FIVE Ten 916,000 264,000 241,000 167,000 100,000 144,000
23 DEAL OR NO DEAL Seven 795,000 215,000 228,000 156,000 89,000 108,000
24 MY NAME IS EARL Seven 720,000 203,000 238,000 128,000 60,000 91,000
29 LAWRENCE LEUNG'S CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE ABC1 602,000 192,000 216,000 87,000 44,000 62,000
30 HOT SEAT Nine 582,000 176,000 191,000 96,000 73,000 46,000
31 FAMILY GUY Seven 575,000 142,000 198,000 91,000 54,000 90,000
32 RUSSELL BRAND'S PONDERLAND Seven 463,000 129,000 167,000 65,000 37,000 66,000
33 TRAWLERMEN SBS 442,000 132,000 122,000 85,000 42,000 61,000
34 AT THE MOVIES ABC1 442,000 166,000 129,000 65,000 41,000 41,000
58 LOST Seven 252,000 88,000 51,000 51,000 30,000 32,000

The ratings race, updated 10 am Wednesday
It wouldn't take much to beat Channel Seven's tedious afternoon game show Deal or No Deal, which has sunk considerably since the glory days when it came close to a million viewers. But Eddie McGuire may have passed the point of no return in public esteem. His new(ish) game show Hot Seat started with 612,000 viewers in the mainland capitals, and fell to 587,000 on its second appearance - replicating the trajectory of Nine's previous attempts to regain control of the 5.30pm lead in to news.

At this point in the week, Nine has 28.3 per cent of the prime time audience, with Seven on 27.0, Ten on 23.8, ABC on 15.1 and SBS on 5.9. Tonight Seven starts its new comedy lineup of Earl, Family Guy and Russell Brand, which should put it in the lead by tomorrow.

What Australia watched, Tuesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,575,000 467,000 406,000 300,000 174,000 227,000
2 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,488,000 399,000 464,000 257,000 157,000 210,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,460,000 422,000 377,000 280,000 179,000 202,000
4 NCIS RPT Ten 1,380,000 387,000 383,000 243,000 182,000 185,000
5 10 YEARS YOUNGER IN 10 DAYS Seven 1,348,000 394,000 431,000 181,000 154,000 187,000
6 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,328,000 370,000 375,000 235,000 149,000 200,000
7 BONDI RESCUE Ten 1,314,000 377,000 343,000 243,000 167,000 183,000
8 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) Ten 1,264,000 372,000 352,000 242,000 131,000 166,000
9 NINE NEWS Nine 1,182,000 309,000 392,000 253,000 111,000 117,000
10 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,176,000 305,000 383,000 252,000 122,000 115,000
11 ALL SAINTS Seven 1,173,000 343,000 354,000 181,000 126,000 168,000
17 LIE TO ME Ten 940,000 276,000 280,000 153,000 115,000 115,000
18 TEN NEWS AT FIVE Ten 939,000 279,000 262,000 166,000 93,000 138,000
23 DEAL OR NO DEAL Seven 794,000 226,000 238,000 154,000 90,000 87,000
25 20 TO 1 Nine 780,000 207,000 273,000 143,000 68,000 89,000
29 HOT SEAT Nine 587,000 191,000 213,000 89,000 53,000 40,000
35 HELL'S KITCHEN Nine 393,000 110,000 145,000 45,000 50,000 42,000

What Australia watched, Monday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES -EP1 Nine 1,826,000 533,000 612,000 258,000 183,000 240,000
2 UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES -EP2 Nine 1,803,000 511,000 615,000 269,000 176,000 233,000
3 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,656,000 451,000 436,000 316,000 185,000 269,000
4 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,581,000 448,000 416,000 321,000 160,000 236,000
5 NINE NEWS Nine 1,292,000 352,000 429,000 269,000 119,000 123,000
6 MISSING PIECES Nine 1,271,000 325,000 412,000 220,000 128,000 187,000
7 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,232,000 324,000 382,000 275,000 125,000 126,000
8 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,129,000 342,000 324,000 217,000 106,000 140,000
9 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - ELIMINATION Ten 1,122,000 336,000 308,000 231,000 102,000 146,000
10 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,111,000 326,000 263,000 242,000 139,000 141,000
11 YOU SAVED MY LIFE Nine 1,088,000 308,000 317,000 205,000 94,000 164,000
12 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,063,000 274,000 371,000 205,000 88,000 124,000
13 AUSTRALIAN STORY ABC1 1,007,000 319,000 260,000 199,000 92,000 137,000
14 DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Seven 1,006,000 320,000 306,000 189,000 78,000 113,000
15 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER Seven 992,000 269,000 268,000 214,000 91,000 150,000
16 TOP GEAR SBS 991,000 262,000 329,000 198,000 102,000 99,000
17 TEN NEWS AT FIVE Ten 977,000 281,000 274,000 172,000 114,000 136,000
24 DEAL OR NO DEAL Seven 776,000 258,000 203,000 136,000 89,000 89,000
29 HOT SEAT Nine 612,000 186,000 230,000 87,000 72,000 37,000
53 30 ROCK Seven 294,000 93,000 111,000 32,000 32,000 27,000

What Australia watched, Sunday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,649,000 402,000 494,000 334,000 162,000 257,000
2 60 MINUTES Nine 1,509,000 406,000 473,000 338,000 153,000 139,000
3 THE FORCE Seven 1,482,000 446,000 422,000 287,000 128,000 199,000
4 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,380,000 427,000 416,000 265,000 152,000 120,000
5 BORDER SECURITY USA Seven 1,366,000 381,000 413,000 288,000 119,000 166,000
6 DOMESTIC BLITZ Nine 1,292,000 377,000 354,000 288,000 148,000 125,000
7 THE BIGGEST LOSER (AUS) - THE WEIGH-IN Ten 1,193,000 357,000 308,000 243,000 134,000 151,000
8 CSI Nine 1,178,000 323,000 370,000 226,000 129,000 129,000
9 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AUSTRALIA Ten 1,149,000 367,000 357,000 186,000 121,000 119,000
10 BONES Seven 1,105,000 299,000 355,000 182,000 128,000 142,000
11 CSI: MIAMI Nine 1,038,000 303,000 325,000 165,000 143,000 103,000
12 SUNDAY NIGHT Seven 1,036,000 278,000 317,000 225,000 82,000 134,000
13 ABC NEWS-SU ABC1 966,000 289,000 281,000 169,000 108,000 119,000
14 ROVE Ten 954,000 247,000 304,000 186,000 117,000 101,000
15 DIRT GAME ABC1 769,000 278,000 195,000 117,000 80,000 101,000
17 BEYOND THE DARKLANDS Seven 685,000 165,000 236,000 115,000 78,000 90,000
18 THE STORY OF INDIA ABC1 675,000 238,000 177,000 95,000 77,000 88,000
22 NINE'S SUNDAY FOOTBALL Nine 529,000 339,000 190,000
23 DEXTER Ten 529,000 152,000 162,000 88,000 71,000 57,000
24 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 4: RICHMOND VS MELBOURNE Seven 515,000 81,000 275,000 63,000 90,000 5,000
55 24 Seven 198,000 51,000 73,000 34,000 23,000 17,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). For daily updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind, in whoweare-index at 09:14 AM
• Comments (40)

WHO WE ARE: Happy feats

To discuss what would make you subscribe -- or resubscribe -- to Pay TV, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 12/4/2009
You want to know the secret of human happiness? No problem. The Australian Bureau of Statistics has the answer, as it does for all the important questions of life. The secret amounts to this: stay single, don't smoke, get some extra education, and have a few drinks. Well, OK, you can get married if you like, but don't get divorced. And whatever you do, don't live in Melbourne.

This emerged when the Bureau asked 8,800 Australians between 16 and 85 to rate how happy they were, on a scale from 1 to 7. The question was: "How do you feel about your life as a whole, taking into account what has happened in the last year and what you expect to happen in the future?" and the options were: 1 Delighted; 2 Pleased; 3 Mostly satisfied; 4 Mixed; 5 Mostly dissatisfied; 6 Unhappy; 7 Terrible.

The survey was done in 2007 as part of a national study of mental health, but the results have not been reported till now. Last week this column reported that 82 per cent of Australians said they were delighted, pleased or mostly satisfied with their lives. I asked the Bureau to cross-index the happiness scale with some of the other questions it had asked the sample. Here's how to maximise happiness:

Follow the sun. The bureau found that Brisbane and Perth were the happiest kingdoms of them all -- 55.7 per cent of people in each city rated themselves delighted or pleased. In Sydney, 50.8 per cent were delighted or pleased and 1.8 per cent felt unhappy or terrible. The most miserable city was Melbourne -- only 47.9 per cent of south-easterners were delighted or pleased, while 3.1 per cent felt unhappy or terrible.

Pour another one. When happiness was compared with alcohol consumption, the drinkers won. Among people who had not consumed alcohol in the past 12 months, 44.7 per cent were delighted or pleased, and 3.8 per cent felt unhappy or terrible. Among people who described their alcohol consumption as "At least once a week but less than nearly every day", the figures were 56.6 happy and 1.4 per cent sad. But it's not a case of the more the merrier - among people who drink "nearly every day", 47.2 per cent were happy and 3.2 per cent were sad.

Put out that fag. Among current smokers, 44.3 per cent were happy and 4.3 per cent were sad. Among non-smokers, 53.2 per cent were happy and 1.6 per cent were sad.

Get a degree. Among people who had gained an extra qualification after they left school, 54.8 per cent were happy, compared with 47.0 per cent of people who had only school qualifications.

Stay single or stay married. The happiness score was 53.7 per cent for married people and 53.2 per cent for never married people, but only 37.6 per cent for people who were separated, divorced or widowed.

Get on your feet. Among people who say they do a "high level of exercise", 64.5 per cent are happy, while only 48.4 per cent of low exercisers are happy.

Get rich quick. Yes, money can buy happiness - 57.3 per cent of people in the top 20 per cent of earnings say they are deligted or pleased, compared with 46.1 per cent of people in the bottom 20 per cent. But such is the level of optimism in this country that even the poor stay positive - only 3.7 per cent of the lowest earners say they feel unhappy or terrible. It's the lucky country, after all.

Tell us how this fits with your experience at Comments

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). For daily updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in whoweare-index at 06:23 AM
• Comments (5)

The Tribal Mind: The worst on TV

Are you happy? To learn how Australians answered that question, go to Who We Are.

by David Dale
This comes as a shock. It seems people are actually missing Big Brother, the pioneering-but-ultimately-geriatric "reality" show put out of its misery last year by Channel Ten. Two readers claimed to be in that sad condition when this column sought nominations for the 2009 Bogie Awards - the hall of shame for television's most annoying, embarrassing and underrated programs and personalities.

In the category "Most Missed", many readers nominated "anything by The Chaser boys", a few readers nominated The Glasshouse, and two eccentrics admitted they'd been reflecting fondly on the days when Big Brother gave them something to bitch about.

That kind of response is why The Bogies are the highlight of this column's year. Now the nominations are in, and you have the opportunity to vent your rage against the networks. The results will be announced in this column on May 2 -- coincidentally the very weekend when some other TV awards with a similar name will also be announced.

THE BOGIE NOMINATIONS, 2009

Most unnecessary personality: Krystal Forscutt; Lara Bingle; Ricki-Lee Coulter; Giaan Rooney; Fifi Box; Tom Williams; Emazon.

Most unnecessary program: Bondi Vet; Sunrise; Triple Zero Heroes; Guerilla Gardeners; Sunday Night; Yum Cha; Celebrity Singing Bee.

Most unnecessary adaptation of an overseas show: Customs; Wipeout Australia; Aussie Ladette to Lady; Top Gear Australia; Life On Mars (US); Kath and Kim (US).

Most offputting commercial: The Ped Egg; "The one where surprise is every second word in the jingle"; It's A Beautiful Day for cancer; "The one with the beaver"; Valvoline; The good guys; "The funeral insurance ads"; Pepsi Max; "the impotence one with the guys playing the piano".

Best use of breasts to exploit viewers' base instincts: True Blood; Underbelly: A Tale of Two Cities; Satisfaction; Nigella Express; 30 Rock.

Worst attempt at an accent from a country not your own: Matthew Newton (in Underbelly 2); "Whoever plays Terry Clarke's supposedly Scottish offsider in Underbelly 2"; Damien Lewis (in Life); Melissa George (in Grey's Anatomy).

Most Underrated: 30 Rock; Good Game; Prison Break; Dexter; Review by Miles Barlow; The Einstein Factor; In Treatment; ABC2 News Breakfast; Out of the Blue; Eli Stone; Rush.

Furthest fallen from former finery: House; Neighbours; Grey's Anatomy; Lost.

Most annoying person: Ajay Rochester; Danny Weidler; David Koch; Georgie Parker; James Brayshaw; Andrew O'Keefe; Charlie Cox; Sam Newman; Jason Coleman.

Most overhyped: So You Think You Can Dance Australia; Underbelly 2; Packed to the Rafters; Lie to Me; The Footy Show.

Most repeated: Two and a Half Men; Love Actually; About a Boy; MASH; The Simpsons; Inspector Rex; "The SBS show about the clitoris"; Guthy Renker; Gordon Ramsay.

Most jerked around by the networks: 24; Without A Trace; CSI Miami; Scrubs; Out of The Blue; Cold Case; ER; Ugly Betty.

Most missed: Newstopia; Absolute Power; Big Brother; Enough Rope; The Chaser; Mother and Son; The Glasshouse; Foyle's War; Deadwood; The Panel Christmas Special.

Most wooden presenter (The Pinocchio award): Jennifer Hawkins, Ajay Rochester; Natalie Bassingthwaighte; Sandra Sully.

Most embarrassing program (the Naomi Robson Cup): The Biggest Loser; Today on Sunday; A Current Affair; WWE Afterburn; Today Tonight.

Furthest past use-by date (the Bert Newton Trophy): Dancing With The Stars; Paul McDermott; Australia's Got Talent; Red Symons; Richard Wilkins; Catriona Rowntree; Kerri-Anne Kennerley; Todd McKenney.

The Black Bogie (the Eddie McGuire Chalice): Kyle Sandilands; Ajay Rochester; Todd Mckenney; Andrew OKeefe.

Over to you.

Here's how you vote: Go to Comments and choose one candidate from each category in the list above (or add new names and categories if you think we've missed something).

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). For daily updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 05:38 PM
• Comments (227)

WHO WE ARE: When it comes to being happy, we are

To decide The Bogie Awards for TV's most embarrassing, annoying and underrated, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun Herald, 5/4/2009
Quick, on a scale from one to seven, rate how happy you are. Assume that 1 means " "I am delighted with my life" and 7 means "I feel terrible". Don't brood on it, just give an instant response. Ask the person nearest you to do the same.

If you rated your happiness level at 3 or better, you're with the vast mass of Australians - 82 per cent of us say we feel delighted, pleased or mostly satisfied with our lives. If your neighbour chose 5 or worse, she's in a tiny minority - only 3.5 per cent of Australians feel terrible, unhappy or mostly dissatisfied.

Yes, we're a cheery lot. In fact, we're cheerier in the late noughties than we were in the late 90s. Back then, only 76 per cent of Australians rated their condition at 1, 2 or 3.

This insight into the mood of Australia is buried within a massive research project conducted by The Bureau of Statistics in 2007. The bureau's experts spent thousands of hours interviewing a sample of 8,800 Australians aged between 16 and 85 about their mental health.

One question involved what the bureau calls the "Delighted/ Terrible scale". The people were asked "How do you feel about your life as a whole, taking into account what has happened in the last year and what you expect to happen in the future?" and shown this list of possible responses: 1 Delighted; 2 Pleased; 3 Mostly satisfied; 4 Mixed; 5 Mostly dissatisfied; 6 Unhappy; 7 Terrible.

It's nothing less than the fundamental question of human existence: "How happy are you?" The results have not been revealed till now, because when the bureau's Australian Social Trends report was released last month, all the focus was on the revelation that 45 per cent of Australians had, at some point in their lives, suffered a mental disorder such as anxiety, depression or substance abuse.

That might give the impression of a sick or sad society. The Delighted/ Terrible Scale suggests otherwise. Out of the 16 million Australians in the age group studied, 2.8 million apparently float around in a state of delight and 5.4 million are smiling, while only 233,000 are unhappy and only 115,000 feel terrible.

Despite stereotypes that men suffer in silence and women complain constantly, there are no significant gender differences at either end of the scale. But there are differences between age groups - though not in the way you'd expect.

The most miserable age group is people between 40 and 49 - 3.7 per cent of them feel unhappy or terrible, compared with 1.5 per cent of people over 70 and 1.1 per cent of people aged 16 to 29. You might speculate that the 40-somethings have the dual worry of their dependent children turning into adults and their parents turning into dependent children.

When the Bureau asked the happiness question ten years ago, it found that 12 per cent of Australians were delighted (compared with 17.5 per cent now) and 1.3 per cent felt terrible (0.7 per cent now).

I've asked the Bureau's boffins to burrow down deeper into the data and tell me if married people are happier than single people, if Sydney is happier than Melbourne, and if drinkers are happier than teetotalers. They promise full details for next week's column.

In the meantime, give us your theories on human happiness at Comments

David Dale is the author of The Little Book of Australia -- A snapshot of who we are (Allen and Unwin). For daily updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in whoweare-index at 04:09 AM
• Comments (3)