The Sun-Herald

WHO WE ARE: It's moments like these ...

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A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 23/11/2008
You should by now have received your early Chrissie pressie from the Royal Australian Mint -- a fat envelope that looks like junk mail and contains a brochure advertising a whole lot of souvenir coins you can buy.

It's wonderful that this "prescribed agency of the Treasury" is helping out the government at a financially stressed time by spamming the nation with the opportunity to spend $115 for a set of six one dollar coins depicting the Parkes Telescope, but they need to reconsider their subject matter. They want us to join in celebrating some of the most boring events in Australian history.

Get real, you silly minties. Do you seriously expect anybody to spend $130 on two $5 coins depicting the Airbus A380? Or $12.95 on a one dollar coin honouring the centenary of the quarantine service? Or $235 on a $10 gold coin commemorating The Year of the Ox? They're almost as lame as last year's coin (pictured) commemorating the APEC meeting (which might have sold a few more copies if it had depicted the Chaser boys).

There's still time to create souvenirs that Australians really will want to display on their mantelpieces next year. It turns out that a lot of historical tipping points happened in years ending in 9. These are just a few examples of moments the Mint could immortalise in gold, silver and bronze:

The 40th anniversary of Australia's first on-stage mass nude scene. In 1969, during the first Sydney performance of the musical Hair, the cast appeared naked at the end of the first act. Police were stationed in the front row to ensure the audience didn't riot and the cast didn't move. This symbol of the death of puritanism and the opening of the Australian mind would need to be depicted on a 50 cent coin rather than a $2 coin, since some 15 people were involved, but it would sell like hot buns.

The 30 th anniversary of the first VCR going on sale. The ability to play rented movies and to record TV shows for later viewing gave Australians control of their home entertainment and broke our dependence on the commercial networks. The image of a black box would be a bit boring, so perhaps it would be better to depict a scene from Crocodile Dundee, one of the first flicks available on video.

The 20th anniversary of the last Imperial honour being awarded by the British monarch to an Australian. The coin could depict a sword on a shoulder, with a diagonal slash across the image. For balance, the other side of the coin could commemorate the tenth anniversary of the referendum in which we voted against a republic.

The 80th anniversary of the Speedo cossie. MacRae Knitting Mills in Sydney introduced the sleek swimwear in 1929, and went on to become the supplier for all 52 swimming nations at the Munich and Montreal Olympics. A $2 coin for budgie smugglers!

The 60th anniversary of the election of Australia's first Liberal government. Lets be imaginative. Robert Menzies has been honoured enough. We should cheer up the Liberal leaders who didn't quite make it -- Billy Snedden, Andrew Peacock, Alexander Downer, John Hewson and Brendan Nelson -- with their own beautifully boxed set of five cent pieces in shiny bronze. I was going to include Peter Costello, but there's a good chance he'll be on his own Prime Ministerial coin one day.

To add your suggestions on events or people we should commemorate in coinage, go to Comments

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.