The Sun-Herald

WH0 WE ARE: You'll pay for what you say

To predict the success of Australia (the movie), go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 19/10/2008
The other day Kevin Rudd quoted the phrase "Tell 'em they're dreamin' " in response to a demand from State Governments for some extra billions in funding. He graciously attributed the line to that fine Australian film The Castle, but he should go further. The line earned him a sound bite on ABC radio, so he really ought to send a cheque for $4 to Jane Kennedy, Rob Sitch, Santo Cilauro, and Tom Gleisner, who created it.

In the same way, all those headline writers who keep playing on the phrase "That's not a knife, THAT'S a knife" should be sending $7 to John Cornell, Paul Hogan and Ken Shadie, the writers of Crocodile Dundee, and those who repeat "It's noice, it's different, it's unusual" should send $6 each time to Gina Riley and Jane Turner, creators of Kath and Kim.

That would be the principle established by the current legal action against Colin Hay and Ron Strykert, the writers of the song Down Under (about the land where women glow and men chunder). Partway through the flute solo that appears in the middle of the recording, the composers quote the tune of a much older icon called Kookaburra Sits In The Old Gum Tree. I've always regarded that flute passage as a witty homage to an Aussie classic, reinforcing the satire on ocker stereotypes.

But the current copyright holders of Kookaburra (written in 1934 by a teacher named Marion Sinclair) argue the musical reference was a crucial element in the success of Down Under, and are seeking a share in the profits.

From now on, we all need to think about who we're ripping off when we reference Australian songs, poems, stories, and speeches, and we should start compensating the creators by putting aside a dollar a word in a kind of swear jar. Here's my starter list, to which I hope you'll add more examples:

The most quotable lines of Australian culture (and the fees you'll owe):
"There was movement at the station" ($6 to the estate of Banjo Paterson).
"Cut and come again" ($4 to the estate of Norman Lindsay, creator of The Magic Pudding).
"We don't need another hero" ($5 to Terry Britten and Graham Lyle, who wrote the theme for Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome).
"Happy little Vegemites" ($3 to the estate of Alan Weekes, composer of the 1954 radio jingle).
"Not happy, Jan" ($3 to Deborah Kennedy, who coined the phrase when Clemenger ad agency was filming a commercial for the Yellow Pages).
"I'll rip yer bloody arms off" ($5 to Grahame Bond, co-writer of The Aunty Jack Show).
"Men and women of Australia" and "Well may we say" (total $9 to Gough Whitlam).
"Just what this country needs: a cock in a frock on a rock" ($13 to Stephan Elliott, creator of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert).
"You're terrible, Muriel" ($3 to P.J. Hogan, writer of Muriel's Wedding).
"Spreading disease with the greatest of ease" ($6 to the estate of James Joseph White, who wrote the original Louie the fly jingle).
"How embarrassment" ($2 to Mary Coustas, co-writer of Acropolis Now).
"Puck you, miss" ($3 to Chris Lilley, writer of Summer Heights High )
"Shaddup you face" ($3 to Joe Dolce).
"There's nothing so lonesome morbid or drear as ..." ($8 to the estates of Gordon Parsons, songwriter, and Dan Sheahan, poet, for Pub With No Beer)
"Most people I know think that I'm crazy" ($8 to the estate of Billy Thorpe).

To suggest more of the lines that make up Australia's cultural heritage, go to Comments

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.