The Sun-Herald

The Tribal Mind: The smartest lines on the box

To discuss how the Greeks conquered Australia, go to Who We Are

by David Dale
The Emmy awards ceremony, in which Hollywood honours a whole lot of programs our networks end up showing late at night or not at all, will this year make a feature of the most memorable lines of dialogue in 60 years of scripted television. It's apparently an attempt to cheer up the screenwriters who went on strike earlier this year in an attempt to to get extra payments when their work is sold again (via DVDs and the internet).

Already US websites are jumping with nominations, so before we get on to the topic of the most memorable lines in Australian television history, you can test yourself on your retention skills.

Which characters, on which shows, said these?
"Live long and prosper."
"As I once said to Celine Dion -- why the long face?"
"Pick me. Choose me. Love me."
"Did a dingo eat your byebee?"
"How you doin?"
"We were on a break."
"The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself, and if you find someone who loves the YOU that you love, it could be fabulous."
"Mrs Peel, we're needed."
"I may be dead but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you."
"Not that there's anything wrong with that."
"Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do."
"Legend- ... wait for it, and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the next part of this word is ... -dary."
"Make it so."
"Just one more question ...".
"Everyone lies."
"Who loves ya, baby?"

Of course you had no trouble with those (if you did, answers below*). It goes to show how America has dominated Australian television forever and what a wasted life you've had. Now here's your chance to put all those eye-numbing hours to national use. We want a comparable list from Australian-made television. Let these names jog your memory.

The most successful scripted series in Australian television history: Hey Dad; Homicide; The Paul Hogan Show; Kath and Kim; Underbelly; The Comedy Company; Blue Heelers; The Norman Gunston Show; Number 96; Wildside, The Sullivans; City Homicide; The Mavis Bramston Show; Fast Forward/ Full Frontal; Mother and Son; All Saints; McLeod's Daughters; Frontline; A Country Practice; Seachange; Summer Heights High; Kingswood Country; The Aunty Jack Show; The Games; Water Rats; Prisoner; Division 4; The Secret Life of Us; Cop Shop, The Naked Vicar Show; The D Generation; Stingers; Blue Murder; plus a few that were less successful but contained lines worth quoting: Life Support; Australia, You're Standing In It; Love My Way; The Late Show; Newstopia (and most other Shaun Micallef series).

Go to Comments to give us your favourite lines from great Australian television

(*Answers: Spock, Star Trek; Karen Walker, Will and Grace; Meredith, Grey's Anatomy; Elaine, Seinfeld; Joey, Friends; Ross, Friends; Carrie, Sex and the City; Steed, The Avengers; Cordelia, Buffy; George and Jerry, Seinfeld; Ricky, I Love Lucy; Barney, How I Met Your Mother; Jean Luc Picard, Star Trek; Columbo; House; Kojack. Go here for more detail on the Emmys, which are announced on September 22, Australian time.)

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 01:57 PM
• Comments (25)

The Tribal Mind: The viewers' verdict

To learn why New Zealand should become part of Australia, go to Who We Are.

by David Dale
Three weeks ago, inspired by a claim allegedly made by Channel Nine's news director, John Westacott, that "to make it in this industry, you gotta have f---ability", this column sought readers' help to develop a Desirability Index for the personalities on Australian television.

Conventional wisdom in the newspaper industry says that for every reader who expresses an opinion there's another thousand who share the view but didn't get around to sending a letter or email. Thus we can safely say that the list you are about to read represents the thinking of 151,151 viewers (Click here to read all the responses).

Some readers treated the column as a therapist's couch, telling us a little more than we needed to know. Bianca wrote: "I'm a glutton for punishment - I like men who are edgy sexy, even a little on the grumpy side. The less they give, the more I want! Prime example is Hugh Laurie from the international show House. Also Julian MacMahon from Nip/ Tuck. Australians Kristian Schmidt from Sea Patrol and Marcus Graham from Underbelly have an alluring appeal too."

The other 150 contributors were more concise but equally insightful. Here, in order of public preference, are the people who received more than three votes ...

The most f---able people on Australian television this year
1 Rupert Penry-Jones (Spooks)
2 Jennifer Hawkins (Make Me A Supermodel)
3 Todd Sampson (The Gruen Transfer)
4 Jennifer Morrison (House)
5 Jensen Ackles (Supernatural)
6 Kate Walsh (Private Practice)
7 Hugh Laurie (House)
8 Myf Warhurst (Spicks and Specks)
9 Jesse Spencer (House)
10 Diana Glenn (Satisfaction)
11 Daniel McPherson (City Homicide)
12 Natalie Bassingthwaighte (So You Think You Can Dance Australia)
13 Bridget Taylor (The Gruen Transfer)
14 David Tennant (Dr Who)
15 Adam Hills (Spicks and Specks)
16 Saskia Burmeister (Sea Patrol)
17 Tina Fey (30 Rock)
18 Olivia Wilde (House)
19 Wil Traval (All Saints)
20 Karen Tso (Nine news)
21 Janice Petersen (SBS news)
22 Hamish Blake (Thank God You're Here)
23 Katherine Heigl (Grey's Anatomy)
24 Shelley Craft (Domestic Blitz)
25 Kristian Schmidt (Sea Patrol)
26 Reuben Mourad (The Weather Channel)
27 Ben Damon (Seven sports)
28 Marcia Cross (Desperate Housewives)
29 Daniel Goddard (The Young and the Restless)
30 Marcus Graham (Underbelly)
31 Jeremy Lindsay Taylor (Sea Patrol)

Now to test The Westacott Hypothesis. We'll define "making it in this industry" as being in a show which attracts more than 1.1 million viewers in the mainland capitals. Four of the most desirable are in House, and in the first half of this year, it was Australia's most watched US drama. Strong correlation there. Ditto for Spicks and Specks and The Gruen Transfer, each with two representatives in the index and 1.2 million viewers.

Underbelly, Desperate Housewives, Sea Patrol, Domestic Blitz, and Grey's Anatomy also support a looks/ ratings link. But then again, Spooks, SBS news, 30 Rock, Satisfaction, The Weather Channel, and The Young and The Restless are well below the success point.

In any case, correlation is not the same as cause. It's possible House, Specks and Gruen are hits because of their brains rather than their beauties. And onstead of pulling viewers, Rupert Penry Jones, Kate Walsh and Jensen Ackles might be driving them away, as viewers consider them too gorgeous to be a plausible spook, GP or ghost hunter.

The Westacott Hypothesis could be a trifle simplistic. The search for the magic formula continues.

The images, top left to bottom right: Penry-Jones, Warhurst, Ackles, Petersen, Goddard, Blake, Lindsay Taylor, Morrison, Traval, Burmeister, Sampson, Glenn.

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 12:24 PM
• Comments (23)

WHO WE ARE: A small step from stardom to politics

For the viewers' verdict on the most f---able people on Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 24/8/2008
As usual, this column stands corrected by its readers. Last week we nominated Australia's sexiest politicians and speculated on who should play them in the movies (working from the advice given to the President of East Timor, Jose Ramos Horta, that if you look for inner beauty, Amanda Vanstone is like Nicole Kidman).

We argued, for example, that Tom Cruise is Brendan Nelson, Cate Blanchett is Julia Gillard (unless she is Peter Costello), Brad Pitt is Kevin Rudd, and Gwyneth Paltrow is Belinda Neal. Alert reader DJ scolded us for ignoring a former candidate for Liberal leadership, and suggested: "Chopper Read could play Tony Abbott, then at least on the screen he could have a softer, more likeable persona. Michael Costa could be played by Jabba the Hut."

Then a reader who wishes to be known as "Dep's Girl" thought we had neglected the other side of federal parliament: "I think our sexiest pollie hands down at the moment is Foreign Minister Stephen Smith. And I think it would be a safe bet to assume that the US Secretary of State has something approaching a crush on him. There is no other explanation for her recent bizarre visit to Perth (I can only imagine how hurt Alexander Downer is at Condy's betrayal). As to who would play him in a movie -- Clive Owen, perhaps?"

Several readers were exercised by who should play the NSW Health Minister Reba Meagher, with most votes going to Paris Hilton. But Gerard R had a different use for the heiress's talents: "Morris Iemma should be played by Paris Hilton -- both are comprehensively useless to everyone. Mark Latham to be played by Mike Tyson. Kevin Rudd to be played by Ian McDiarmid (the Emperor from Star Wars). Philip Ruddock to be played by a mannequin."

Kate was among several readers to spot this likeness: "If we were going on looks alone, cult actor and father of Laura Palmer in Twin Peaks, Ray Wise, would have to play Dr Nelson. The likeness is uncanny."

But Matt K added: "Then again, Brendan also bears more than a passing resemblance to Brain from the cartoon Pinky and the Brain." Mel Keenan was politically even-handed: "Surely, Tilda Swinton as Julia Gillard. And Dame Margaret Rutherford as Alexander Downer."

Paul suggested: "Daniel Craig is Peter Debnam, Jodie Foster is Maxine McKew, Angelina Jolie is Julia Gillard, Michael Caine is Peter Costello, Montgomery Burns is Bob Carr." MRJ suggested: "John Wayne as Wilson Tuckey. Not very intelligent, doesn't think before he speaks or acts, sees violence as an appropriate method of conflict resolution."

And Steve went for "Cadel Evans is John Della Bosca, Dolly Parton is Julie Bishop, David St Hubins is Brendan Nelson, Steve Buscemi is Michael Costa, F. Murray Abraham is Tony Abbott."

If you want the last word on this game, before the column gets back to serious issues of national identity, go to Comments

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in whoweare-index at 09:14 AM
• Comments (1)

The Who We Are update: Week 34

This week of the blog is now a heritage item - worth studying but not current. For the latest discussion, go to to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
For the viewers' verdict on the most f---able people on Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
Announcing this column's new competition: Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to predict, from the vast array of new programs currently being promoted by the networks, which will be the first to get the axe, and how many weeks it will last.

The notion was suggested by alert reader Darren. If you go to Comments, below, you'll see his nomination of Taken Out as this year's answer to Yasmin's Getting Married. But you may have other ideas -- Make Me A Supermodel? Hole In The Wall? Packed to the Rafters? The Strip? Rush? Jamie Durie's new gardening show? Register your prediction via Comments and be in line for a glamorous prize when the axe falls.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,986,000 592,000 578,000 359,000 197,000 259,000
2 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D15 PRIMETIME Network 7 1,687,000 510,000 524,000 272,000 167,000 215,000
3 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D15 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,445,000 464,000 513,000 193,000 163,000 113,000
4 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D15 FRINGE Network 7 1,368,000 511,000 379,000 219,000 120,000 139,000
5 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,090,000 305,000 311,000 219,000 83,000 172,000
6 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,004,000 256,000 315,000 227,000 106,000 100,000
7 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D15 LATE MORNING Network 7 939,000 294,000 327,000 130,000 89,000 99,000
8 NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VEGAS VACATION -RPT Network 9 917,000 278,000 273,000 149,000 93,000 124,000
9 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D15 AFTERNOON Network 7 880,000 333,000 289,000 125,000 64,000 69,000
10 ABC NEWS-SA Network ABC1 847,000 248,000 234,000 143,000 102,000 120,000
11 THE BILL Network ABC1 725,000 196,000 217,000 124,000 86,000 102,000
16 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 497,000 77,000 271,000 65,000 47,000 37,000
21 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Network TEN 447,000 38,000 227,000 17,000 70,000 95,000

What Australia watched, Friday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Network 7 1,835,000 620,000 497,000 311,000 187,000 220,000
2 TODAY TONIGHT Network 7 1,565,000 527,000 462,000 245,000 156,000 176,000
3 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D14 PRIMETIME Network 7 1,550,000 528,000 462,000 208,000 177,000 176,000
4 NINE NEWS Network 9 1,157,000 325,000 339,000 249,000 128,000 116,000
5 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D14 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,102,000 366,000 346,000 142,000 130,000 120,000
6 A CURRENT AFFAIR Network 9 1,085,000 285,000 341,000 231,000 124,000 105,000
7 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Network 9 1,018,000 282,000 327,000 194,000 110,000 105,000
8 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D14 FRINGE Network 7 976,000 322,000 286,000 181,000 92,000 95,000
9 ABC NEWS Network ABC1 966,000 301,000 254,000 172,000 109,000 130,000
10 AGATHA CHRISTIE: POIROT: CARDS ON THE TABLE RPT Network ABC1 939,000 240,000 301,000 152,000 126,000 120,000
16 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 21: WESTERN BULLDOGS VS ESSENDON Network 7 719,000 493,000 128,000 98,000
21 NINE'S LIVE FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Network 9 588,000 330,000 258,000
24 ANTIQUES ROADSHOW -RPT Network 9 520,000 138,000 155,000 94,000 72,000 61,000
29 SUNRISE Network 7 392,000 115,000 86,000 112,000 36,000 42,000
41 TODAY Network 9 294,000 95,000 83,000 53,000 27,000 36,000
45 NINE'S FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Network 9 269,000 168,000 101,000

What Australia watched, Thursday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,729,000 503,000 499,000 368,000 189,000 171,000
2 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D13 PRIMETIME Seven 1,645,000 508,000 496,000 278,000 167,000 196,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,573,000 434,000 474,000 313,000 168,000 184,000
4 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,172,000 271,000 381,000 273,000 144,000 103,000
5 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,144,000 340,000 365,000 193,000 110,000 136,000
6 NINE NEWS Nine 1,129,000 259,000 383,000 252,000 132,000 104,000
7 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,046,000 277,000 331,000 216,000 129,000 93,000
8 GETAWAY Nine 1,037,000 276,000 365,000 189,000 114,000 93,000
11 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE THURS Ten 962,000 261,000 319,000 163,000 84,000 135,000
13 FRIENDS - DAILY Ten 914,000 266,000 311,000 133,000 87,000 118,000
16 NEIGHBOURS Ten 838,000 274,000 245,000 137,000 84,000 99,000
27 BUILDINGS THAT SHAPED BRITAIN ABC1 473,000 125,000 129,000 85,000 66,000 66,000
28 SUNRISE Seven 467,000 162,000 90,000 118,000 37,000 59,000
46 TODAY Nine 303,000 79,000 98,000 55,000 26,000 46,000

What Australia watched, Wednesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D12 PRIMETIME Seven 2,037,000 640,000 617,000 360,000 195,000 225,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,907,000 615,000 515,000 369,000 183,000 226,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,840,000 581,000 507,000 341,000 177,000 234,000
4 NINE NEWS Nine 1,229,000 288,000 396,000 276,000 149,000 119,000
5 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,156,000 331,000 329,000 230,000 113,000 153,000
6 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,125,000 281,000 357,000 251,000 131,000 105,000
7 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D12 LATE NIGHT Seven 1,117,000 354,000 392,000 164,000 102,000 104,000
8 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: D12 FRINGE Seven 1,081,000 350,000 331,000 198,000 109,000 94,000
9 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,049,000 322,000 319,000 193,000 88,000 127,000
12 COLD CASE -RPT Nine 942,000 223,000 332,000 160,000 110,000 117,000
25 FREEZING ABC1 530,000 187,000 124,000 82,000 52,000 86,000
28 SUNRISE Seven 459,000 189,000 84,000 106,000 30,000 51,000
47 TODAY Nine 276,000 80,000 86,000 44,000 24,000 41,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

And Keating: The Musical does not appear in the top 100 programs for Wednesday, which suggests three things: a) it must have got less than 200,000 viewers; b) many Australians still don't have sets or boxes that enable them to see digital television; c) among those who are digitial-equipped, many either don't like musicals or have not mellowed towards the former prime minister.

What Australia watched, Tuesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D11 PRIMETIME Seven 2,089,000 637,000 655,000 341,000 219,000 237,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,974,000 571,000 560,000 360,000 235,000 248,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,860,000 559,000 543,000 326,000 192,000 240,000
4 NINE NEWS Nine 1,152,000 287,000 386,000 235,000 132,000 111,000
5 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,142,000 303,000 371,000 222,000 141,000 105,000
6 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,128,000 365,000 301,000 209,000 119,000 134,000
7 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D11 FRINGE Seven 1,040,000 304,000 304,000 206,000 115,000 111,000
8 NCIS EP 1 RPT Ten 1,009,000 258,000 242,000 177,000 141,000 191,000
9 GRUMPY OLD WOMEN ABC1 1,005,000 297,000 296,000 175,000 115,000 121,000
11 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 930,000 254,000 298,000 166,000 113,000 99,000
18 NEIGHBOURS Ten 786,000 209,000 194,000 187,000 76,000 119,000
19 DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER Nine 780,000 198,000 231,000 165,000 85,000 100,000
26 20 TO 1 -RPT Nine 583,000 162,000 193,000 83,000 79,000 68,000
30 SUNRISE Seven 445,000 167,000 87,000 120,000 32,000 39,000
39 TODAY Nine 299,000 81,000 95,000 45,000 28,000 48,000

What Australia watched, Monday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D10 PRIMETIME Seven 2,042,000 583,000 637,000 359,000 225,000 238,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,994,000 612,000 504,000 447,000 184,000 248,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,832,000 550,000 470,000 391,000 174,000 247,000
4 NINE NEWS Nine 1,280,000 337,000 364,000 289,000 157,000 132,000
5 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,176,000 298,000 362,000 249,000 150,000 116,000
6 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D10 FRINGE Seven 1,169,000 391,000 326,000 232,000 102,000 119,000
7 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,050,000 318,000 342,000 150,000 108,000 131,000
8 FRIENDS - DAILY Ten 995,000 251,000 334,000 175,000 96,000 138,000
9 FOUR CORNERS ABC1 989,000 308,000 281,000 160,000 106,000 133,000
10 AUSTRALIAN STORY ABC1 973,000 306,000 303,000 167,000 94,000 104,000
16 NEIGHBOURS Ten 905,000 249,000 278,000 182,000 65,000 130,000
18 BURN NOTICE MON Ten 851,000 238,000 292,000 144,000 80,000 96,000
21 ENOUGH ROPE WITH ANDREW DENTON ABC1 733,000 224,000 219,000 114,000 92,000 84,000
30 SUNRISE Seven 435,000 144,000 105,000 101,000 34,000 50,000
32 A KNIGHT'S TALE RPT Ten 383,000 99,000 100,000 63,000 55,000 67,000
36 TODAY Nine 309,000 97,000 96,000 57,000 22,000 37,000
41 BEIJING OLYMPICS: YUM CHA D10 Seven 289,000 113,000 69,000 76,000 30,000

The ratings race, updated 10am Monday
Did Australians watch anything other than the Olympics last week? Answer: yes, and the ABC reaped the benefits of offering an alternative to nationalism. Its most popular shows barely suffered a dent in audience -- ABC Sunday news and Spicks and Specks drew 1.1 million, Dr Who drew 1 million and a repeat of Agatha Christie's Poirot drew 994,000 on Friday before the great writer herself met The Doctor himself on Sunday night.

Channel Nine's entries in the top 30 for the week were 60 Minutes , the Sunday news, and the weekday news. Ten's best affort was a repeat of NCIS. Picking up Seven's leftovers, SBS scored with the women's cycling road race (725,000) and Men's Archery (399,000). And it was business as usual for Pay TV, with 224,000 for NRL Titans v Knights (Fox Sports 2), 208,000 for NRL Wariors v. Sharks (Fox Sports 2), 191,000 for Project Runway Australia (Arena) and 165,000 for American Dad! (Fox 8).

Seven estimates that 16.1 million Australians have watched some part of the Olympic coverage. More than two million in the mainland capitals watched the games every night and Seven averaged 43.9 per cent of the prime time audience for the week (Nine 18.5, Ten 16.6, ABC 14.5, SBS 6.6). The most watched night was Wednesday, when a peak of 4 million in the capitals saw Stephanie Rice collect her second gold medal.

What Australia watched, Sunday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D9 PRIMETIME Seven 2,227,000 677,000 716,000 376,000 217,000 240,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 2,187,000 589,000 659,000 451,000 245,000 243,000
3 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D9 LATE MORNING Seven 1,553,000 449,000 495,000 314,000 149,000 146,000
4 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,398,000 401,000 401,000 328,000 174,000 94,000
5 60 MINUTES Nine 1,387,000 384,000 400,000 279,000 152,000 172,000
6 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D9 FRINGE Seven 1,383,000 487,000 446,000 288,000 163,000
7 CSI: MIAMI -RPT Nine 1,175,000 329,000 329,000 251,000 135,000 130,000
8 DOCTOR WHO ABC1 1,074,000 388,000 266,000 181,000 119,000 122,000
9 TALK TO THE ANIMALS Nine 1,017,000 271,000 294,000 213,000 148,000 91,000
10 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: D9 AFTERNOON Seven 966,000 404,000 264,000 140,000 158,000
11 ABC NEWS-SUN ABC1 937,000 242,000 272,000 186,000 117,000 120,000
13 CSI -RPT Nine 867,000 186,000 265,000 181,000 111,000 122,000
14 THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE RPT Ten 827,000 273,000 246,000 120,000 99,000 90,000
15 ROVE Ten 824,000 257,000 300,000 111,000 76,000 80,000
16 AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL Ten 762,000 224,000 230,000 138,000 80,000 91,000
18 DOCTOR WHO: CONFIDENTIAL CUTDOWN ABC1 692,000 240,000 191,000 88,000 90,000 84,000
20 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 20: CARLTON VS KANGAROOS Seven 609,000 Not shown 366,000 Not shown 126,000 117,000
21 DEXTER Ten 595,000 167,000 227,000 74,000 63,000 64,000
25 PERFECT DAY: THE MILLENIUM ABC1 500,000 167,000 137,000 74,000 50,000 72,000
28 CANAL ROAD Nine 345,000 63,000 115,000 67,000 47,000 52,000
29 NINE'S SUNDAY FOOTBALL Nine 334,000 175,000 Not shown 158,000 Not shown Not shown

What Australia watched, week ending August 16
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D5 PRIMETIME Network 7 2,131,000 629,000 667,000 401,000 230,000 204,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Network 7 2,128,000 640,000 621,000 403,000 203,000 261,000
3 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D4 PRIMETIME Network 7 2,112,000 664,000 608,000 405,000 207,000 228,000
4 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D2 PRIMETIME Network 7 2,093,000 690,000 565,000 377,000 209,000 253,000
5 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Network 7 2,091,000 574,000 551,000 435,000 225,000 306,000
6 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D3 PRIMETIME Network 7 2,015,000 585,000 636,000 367,000 191,000 237,000
7 TODAY TONIGHT Network 7 1,973,000 606,000 561,000 351,000 201,000 254,000
8 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D6 PRIMETIME Network 7 1,969,000 608,000 603,000 366,000 195,000 197,000
9 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 PRIMETIME Network 7 1,935,000 623,000 574,000 352,000 170,000 216,000
10 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,925,000 599,000 546,000 315,000 190,000 275,000
11 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D7 PRIMETIME Network 7 1,912,000 592,000 607,000 331,000 206,000 175,000
12 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D2 AFTERNOON Network 7 1,821,000 505,000 626,000 327,000 165,000 198,000
13 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D4 FRINGE Network 7 1,708,000 556,000 532,000 333,000 151,000 137,000
14 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D3 FRINGE Network 7 1,699,000 510,000 573,000 369,000 131,000 116,000
15 60 MINUTES Network 9 1,465,000 383,000 469,000 281,000 153,000 179,000
16 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D5 FRINGE Network 7 1,437,000 448,000 417,000 315,000 125,000 132,000
17 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 FRINGE Network 7 1,336,000 453,000 370,000 238,000 111,000 164,000
18 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D7 FRINGE Network 7 1,332,000 458,000 391,000 243,000 122,000 118,000
19 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Network 9 1,316,000 390,000 421,000 254,000 150,000 101,000
20 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 LATE MORNING Network 7 1,233,000 318,000 424,000 223,000 112,000 157,000
21 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,199,000 417,000 390,000 155,000 147,000 89,000
22 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 AFTERNOON Network 7 1,198,000 386,000 363,000 248,000 90,000 112,000
23 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D7 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,189,000 352,000 398,000 192,000 135,000 113,000
24 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D6 FRINGE Network 7 1,138,000 386,000 333,000 216,000 113,000 90,000
25 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,133,000 286,000 360,000 238,000 141,000 109,000
26 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D3 AFTERNOON Network 7 1,133,000 308,000 364,000 264,000 98,000 99,000
27 ABC NEWS-SUN Network ABC1 1,121,000 287,000 356,000 229,000 116,000 133,000
28 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D2 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,086,000 321,000 384,000 201,000 111,000 69,000
29 NINE NEWS Network 9 1,073,000 282,000 311,000 236,000 140,000 104,000
30 SPICKS AND SPECKS Network ABC1 1,064,000 311,000 310,000 202,000 109,000 132,000
31 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: D5 AFTERNOON Network 7 1,060,000 310,000 319,000 252,000 83,000 96,000
32 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Network 9 1,036,000 264,000 339,000 177,000 123,000 134,000
33 NCIS EP 1 RPT Network TEN 1,031,000 275,000 289,000 193,000 126,000 148,000
34 ABC NEWS Network ABC1 1,024,000 314,000 310,000 151,000 117,000 133,000
35 DOCTOR WHO Network ABC1 1,008,000 323,000 244,000 217,000 98,000 126,000
36 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,006,000 265,000 310,000 212,000 96,000 123,000
37 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: D4 AFTERNOON Network 7 1,003,000 275,000 321,000 211,000 100,000 96,000
38 FOUR CORNERS Network ABC1 997,000 322,000 285,000 186,000 89,000 115,000
39 AGATHA CHRISTIE: POIROT: AFTER THE FUNERAL RPT Network ABC1 994,000 315,000 320,000 143,000 103,000 113,000
40 THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE RPT Network TEN 989,000 272,000 335,000 200,000 96,000 85,000
41 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D3 LATE MORNING Network 7 986,000 253,000 320,000 242,000 83,000 87,000
42 A CURRENT AFFAIR Network 9 984,000 265,000 298,000 202,000 123,000 96,000
43 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D7 AFTERNOON Network 7 970,000 313,000 300,000 185,000 92,000 80,000
44 THE MAN WHO LIVES WITH BEARS Network 9 958,000 243,000 296,000 182,000 128,000 110,000
45 CSI: MIAMI -RPT Network 9 957,000 226,000 311,000 185,000 117,000 118,000
46 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D4 LATE NIGHT Network 7 951,000 297,000 320,000 171,000 102,000 60,000
47 AUSTRALIAN STORY Network ABC1 944,000 307,000 266,000 172,000 93,000 107,000
48 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: YUM CHA D2 Network 7 931,000 267,000 287,000 198,000 93,000 86,000
49 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D6 AFTERNOON Network 7 923,000 287,000 296,000 162,000 98,000 79,000
50 NCIS EP 2 RPT Network TEN 920,000 234,000 286,000 155,000 112,000 133,000
(OzTAM mainland capitals)

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in whoweare-index at 03:37 AM
• Comments (74)

The Who We Are update: Week 36

This week of the blog is now a heritage item. To join the latest discussion on Australian popular culture, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss the best lines ever written for Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,401,000 430,000 383,000 298,000 118,000 171,000
2 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,143,000 271,000 406,000 225,000 105,000 136,000
3 TEN'S AFL FINALS 2008: 2ND ELIM. FINAL SYDNEY V KANGAROOS Network TEN 1,100,000 186,000 594,000 82,000 125,000 113,000
4 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 993,000 269,000 331,000 225,000 92,000 75,000
5 ZATHURA: A SPACE ADVENTURE Network 9 921,000 246,000 270,000 178,000 114,000 113,000
6 TEN NEWS AT FIVE SAT Network TEN 885,000 208,000 465,000 118,000 93,000
7 ABC NEWS-SAT Network ABC1 865,000 318,000 259,000 198,000 90,000
8 TEN'S AFL FINALS 2008: 1ST ELIM. FINAL ADELAIDE V COLLINGWOOD Network TEN 801,000 96,000 387,000 63,000 142,000 112,000
9 HELLBOY Network 9 725,000 244,000 210,000 122,000 75,000 74,000
10 GARDENING AUSTRALIA Network ABC1 673,000 251,000 192,000 149,000 80,000
11 The BILL Network ABC1 668,000 242,000 205,000 146,000 75,000
14 PARALYMPIC GAMES BEIJING 2008 OPENING CEREMONY Network ABC1 511,000 185,000 136,000 66,000 49,000 76,000
17 M-PRETTY WOMAN Network 7 487,000 315,000 172,000
19 MYTHBUSTERS Network SBS 381,000 100,000 112,000 72,000 43,000 54,000
40 ROCKWIZ Network SBS 199,000 60,000 62,000 37,000 23,000 17,000

What Australia watched, Friday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Network 7 1,416,000 430,000 350,000 292,000 144,000 199,000
2 NINE NEWS Network 9 1,210,000 323,000 379,000 293,000 122,000 94,000
3 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Network 9 1,187,000 321,000 311,000 312,000 132,000 110,000
4 A CURRENT AFFAIR Network 9 1,176,000 306,000 344,000 294,000 115,000 117,000
5 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Network 7 1,098,000 417,000 424,000 256,000
6 WIRE IN THE BLOOD Network ABC1 1,065,000 342,000 267,000 237,000 113,000 105,000
7 TODAY TONIGHT Network 7 1,043,000 344,000 317,000 267,000 115,000
8 SEVEN'S AFL: QUALIFYING FINAL 2: HAWTHORN VS WESTERN BULLDOG Network 7 1,016,000 77,000 602,000 44,000 156,000 139,000
9 ABC NEWS Network ABC1 966,000 328,000 246,000 186,000 88,000 118,000
12 NINE'S LIVE FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Network 9 799,000 431,000 368,000
13 STATELINE Network ABC1 776,000 271,000 177,000 144,000 88,000 96,000
17 AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL FRI Network TEN 684,000 200,000 223,000 117,000 65,000 80,000
18 TAKEN OUT Network TEN 672,000 155,000 225,000 102,000 91,000 99,000
24 ALFIE RPT Network TEN 504,000 210,000 98,000 98,000 43,000 55,000
25 NINE'S FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Network 9 448,000 268,000 179,000

The ratings race, updated 10 am Friday
Channel Seven won Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, Channel Nine won Sunday and Thursday, and at this point in the week, Seven has 30.0 per cent of the prime time audience, to Nine's 26.1 per cent. What did we make of Nine's new crime show The Strip? Comparison with Ten's Rush?

Make Me A Supermodel looks doomed -- so much for J. Hawkins being the second-most-f---able person on Australian television (go to The Desirability Index for background). And why are people still watching Inspector Rex on the hundredth repeat? Has the nation suddenly started German lessons?

What Australia watched, Thursday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,569,000 415,000 398,000 364,000 154,000 239,000
2 THE STRIP Nine 1,452,000 419,000 419,000 317,000 150,000 147,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,408,000 356,000 370,000 321,000 147,000 215,000
4 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,283,000 390,000 314,000 259,000 140,000 181,000
5 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,266,000 356,000 381,000 266,000 134,000 128,000
6 GETAWAY Nine 1,215,000 336,000 376,000 243,000 138,000 122,000
7 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - SEMI FINAL 4 Ten 1,145,000 335,000 332,000 228,000 101,000 148,000
8 LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT Ten 1,134,000 353,000 355,000 154,000 127,000 144,000
9 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,110,000 320,000 342,000 208,000 104,000 136,000
10 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,097,000 296,000 344,000 241,000 133,000 84,000
11 NINE NEWS Nine 1,072,000 283,000 316,000 278,000 125,000 70,000
12 LAW AND ORDER: SVU RPT Ten 1,015,000 319,000 297,000 150,000 122,000 126,000
13 THE FOOTY SHOW Nine 1,004,000 209,000 455,000 130,000 119,000 92,000
14 GHOST WHISPERER Seven 970,000 298,000 255,000 192,000 76,000 150,000
16 MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL Seven 928,000 280,000 237,000 207,000 78,000 127,000
24 TAKEN OUT Ten 623,000 134,000 225,000 115,000 66,000 84,000
27 Q & A ABC1 508,000 198,000 137,000 89,000 44,000 40,000
33 FAMILY GUY Seven 386,000 152,000 81,000 61,000 43,000 49,000
34 INSPECTOR REX RPT SBS 362,000 106,000 98,000 85,000 34,000 40,000
61 LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN Ten 232,000 82,000 66,000 31,000 25,000 27,000

What Australia watched, Wednesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 CRIMINAL MINDS Seven 1,536,000 432,000 450,000 282,000 183,000 189,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,519,000 398,000 427,000 330,000 163,000 200,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,387,000 396,000 379,000 258,000 155,000 200,000
4 MEDICAL EMERGENCY Seven 1,356,000 398,000 402,000 259,000 144,000 153,000
5 TWO AND A HALF MEN -WED Nine 1,351,000 372,000 426,000 277,000 132,000 145,000
6 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,328,000 410,000 369,000 225,000 165,000 158,000
7 CRASH INVESTIGATION UNIT Seven 1,317,000 421,000 348,000 231,000 139,000 179,000
8 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,305,000 407,000 387,000 222,000 139,000 150,000
9 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,241,000 356,000 370,000 264,000 135,000 116,000
10 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - SEMI FINAL 3 Ten 1,231,000 373,000 355,000 217,000 143,000 142,000
11 NINE NEWS Nine 1,227,000 356,000 354,000 285,000 144,000 88,000
12 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,204,000 351,000 372,000 219,000 112,000 151,000
13 CRIMINAL MINDS (R) Seven 1,176,000 298,000 380,000 221,000 142,000 135,000
14 HOLE IN THE WALL Nine 1,143,000 342,000 351,000 182,000 121,000 147,000
15 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,114,000 312,000 346,000 254,000 133,000 69,000
17 THE HOLLOWMEN ABC1 931,000 329,000 269,000 152,000 67,000 115,000
24 TAKEN OUT Ten 752,000 176,000 241,000 124,000 82,000 129,000
26 VERY SMALL BUSINESS ABC1 735,000 253,000 224,000 117,000 59,000 83,000
32 ALAN SUGAR: THE APPRENTICE Seven 415,000 118,000 145,000 64,000 51,000 38,000
37 SUNRISE Seven 367,000 117,000 67,000 90,000 36,000 57,000
47 TODAY Nine 290,000 94,000 93,000 55,000 20,000 28,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

Word of mouth was clearly strong last week for Packed To The Rafters, but not yesterday for Taken Out, which is heading for Yasminland. Ten was compensated somewhat by 1.1 million viewers at 9.30pm for its new cop show Rush. Any reader want to review Rush?

What Australia watched, Tuesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 2,045,000 680,000 633,000 342,000 166,000 224,000
2 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,707,000 479,000 459,000 365,000 167,000 237,000
3 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,631,000 440,000 437,000 339,000 168,000 247,000
4 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,630,000 484,000 471,000 326,000 142,000 207,000
5 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,459,000 386,000 388,000 291,000 161,000 234,000
6 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,425,000 439,000 362,000 277,000 155,000 191,000
7 ALL SAINTS Seven 1,319,000 490,000 383,000 185,000 139,000 123,000
8 NCIS Ten 1,286,000 359,000 337,000 236,000 179,000 175,000
9 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - SEMI FINAL 2 Ten 1,249,000 363,000 403,000 228,000 138,000 118,000
10 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,177,000 330,000 350,000 231,000 140,000 126,000
11 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,173,000 329,000 362,000 214,000 122,000 146,000
12 RUSH Ten 1,161,000 292,000 384,000 196,000 154,000 133,000
13 WIPEOUT Nine 1,139,000 343,000 324,000 163,000 143,000 166,000
14 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,100,000 293,000 367,000 229,000 123,000 88,000
15 NINE NEWS Nine 1,097,000 260,000 358,000 265,000 139,000 76,000
16 TWO AND A HALF MEN -EP1 Nine 1,024,000 294,000 353,000 158,000 106,000 113,000
17 TWO AND A HALF MEN -EP2 Nine 1,022,000 303,000 340,000 168,000 105,000 106,000
22 GRUMPY OLD WOMEN ABC1 833,000 252,000 212,000 173,000 107,000 90,000
25 TAKEN OUT Ten 769,000 194,000 237,000 124,000 97,000 117,000
29 SECRET DIARY OF A CALL GIRL Nine 578,000 168,000 233,000 60,000 67,000 50,000
35 MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL: OFF THE RUNWAY Seven 436,000 166,000 119,000 68,000 41,000 42,000
36 SUNRISE Seven 419,000 147,000 79,000 87,000 38,000 69,000
40 FIRST TUESDAY BOOK CLUB ABC1 353,000 97,000 138,000 52,000 27,000 38,000
49 TODAY Nine 300,000 81,000 111,000 55,000 22,000 31,000

Channel Ten does not exactly have a winner on its hands with its new "reality" show Taken Out, but of course word of mouth could change those numbers. See Comments, below, for a review by alert reader J Bar, whose taste is usually impeccable. Anyone else wish to offer an analysis?

What Australia watched, Monday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,730,000 433,000 483,000 368,000 195,000 251,000
2 BORDER SECURITY Seven 1,717,000 532,000 457,000 309,000 183,000 237,000
3 CITY HOMICIDE Seven 1,698,000 494,000 520,000 288,000 176,000 219,000
4 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,650,000 434,000 464,000 332,000 185,000 236,000
5 THE FORCE Seven 1,500,000 424,000 426,000 276,000 152,000 221,000
6 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,411,000 462,000 350,000 256,000 168,000 175,000
7 NINE NEWS Nine 1,241,000 323,000 429,000 249,000 146,000 94,000
8 BONES Seven 1,212,000 350,000 328,000 214,000 150,000 170,000
9 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - SEMI FINAL 1 Ten 1,204,000 376,000 375,000 200,000 119,000 133,000
10 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,172,000 276,000 408,000 226,000 145,000 117,000
11 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,140,000 308,000 376,000 232,000 144,000 80,000
20 TOP GEAR (SERIES 2) SBS 900,000 286,000 304,000 126,000 101,000 82,000
23 TAKEN OUT Ten 851,000 213,000 261,000 139,000 111,000 127,000
28 BURN NOTICE MON EP 1 Ten 646,000 207,000 176,000 117,000 62,000 84,000
31 BOSTON LEGAL Seven 533,000 166,000 173,000 86,000 57,000 52,000
32 BURN NOTICE MON EP 2 Ten 510,000 148,000 152,000 89,000 45,000 75,000
36 SUNRISE Seven 373,000 121,000 78,000 89,000 31,000 53,000
48 TODAY Nine 288,000 96,000 66,000 69,000 21,000 36,000
56 30 ROCK Seven 248,000 83,000 86,000 41,000 18,000 21,000

The ratings race, updated 10am Monday
If Kerry Packer had been alive, there would have been boots applied to buttocks at Channel Nine last week. Packer hated missed opportunities. By opting to hold back its launch of new programs till this week, Nine handed the audience to Seven on a platter.

For the first three days of the week, it looked as if a nation had lost its remote during the Olympics and had its dial stuck on Seven, which drew 1.9 million to the new dramedy Packed to the Rafters and to City Homicide, 1.8 million to Find My Family and Border Security, and 1.7 million to The Force and RSPCA Animal Rescue. Seven's only failure was Make Me A Supermodel, whose audience of 932,000 seems to prove that you need a little more than f---ability to find success on Australian television.

The viewers Seven didn't swallow were mopped up by Ten with Australian Idol (1.4 million). The best that Nine could manage was 1.4 million for Australia's Naughtiest Home Video Show, an ancient work of art which Kerry Packer had pulled off air back in 1992. The original host, Doug Mulray, was replaced this time by the more f---able Bert Newton.

The ABC again triumphed with Spicks and Specks (1.3 million) and managed 1 million for its weekday news and for Dr Who. SBS drew 736,000 to an old series of Top Gear. On Pay TV, NRL Knights v Storm (Fox Sports 2) drew 277,000, Project Runway Australia (Arena) drew 204,000 and Family Guy (Fox 8) drew 187,000.

Four weeks ago Seven was neck and neck with Nine. As a result of the first week after the Olympics, the prime time audience shares for the year (excluding all Olympic days) stand at: Seven 27.8 per cent, Nine 27.6, Ten 21.5, ABC 17.3 and SBS 5.8. That sound you hear is Kerry spinning.

But then again, Seven's strategy of moving its ratings behemoth Dancing With The Stars to Sunday night to take on Nine's perennial winner 60 Minutes seems to have been misconceived. On Sunday night DWTS was down half a million on its usual seasonal opening figure, battered not only by the tickers but by Aus Idol and Dr Who. How long before Seven moves the dancers back to Tuesday?

What Australia watched, Sunday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 60 MINUTES Nine 1,567,000 427,000 491,000 324,000 169,000 155,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,526,000 389,000 405,000 335,000 155,000 242,000
3 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,507,000 402,000 471,000 321,000 194,000 118,000
4 DOMESTIC BLITZ Nine 1,462,000 463,000 385,000 306,000 156,000 152,000
5 DANCING WITH THE STARS Seven 1,333,000 456,000 389,000 187,000 116,000 186,000
6 MIDSOMER MURDERS ABC1 1,319,000 378,000 398,000 210,000 173,000 160,000
7 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - TOP 100 Ten 1,310,000 401,000 384,000 233,000 140,000 152,000
8 THE OUTDOOR ROOM WITH JAMIE DURIE Seven 1,291,000 362,000 380,000 235,000 117,000 198,000
9 SCORCHED Nine 1,125,000 376,000 351,000 193,000 113,000 92,000
10 ABC NEWS-SUN ABC1 1,119,000 297,000 335,000 218,000 133,000 137,000
11 DOCTOR WHO ABC1 1,092,000 307,000 285,000 236,000 132,000 133,000
13 ROVE Ten 967,000 295,000 308,000 158,000 100,000 106,000
17 DOCTOR WHO: CONFIDENTIAL CUTDOWN ABC1 732,000 238,000 249,000 130,000 115,000
20 THE SIMPSONS SUN Ten 607,000 181,000 166,000 97,000 79,000 83,000
21 DEXTER Ten 576,000 168,000 187,000 82,000 53,000 86,000
22 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 22: MELBOURNE VS RICHMOND Seven 509,000 64,000 234,000 48,000 87,000 75,000
23 NINE'S SUNDAY FOOTBALL Nine 454,000 210,000 244,000
34 JAMES MAY'S 20TH CENTURY SBS 322,000 78,000 99,000 71,000 45,000 29,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

What Australia watched, week ending August 30
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BEIJING OLYMPICS: CLOSING CEREMONY Network 7 2,007,000 623,000 641,000 236,000 214,000 293,000
2 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Network 7 1,945,000 569,000 609,000 396,000 161,000 210,000
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Network 7 1,924,000 576,000 490,000 392,000 192,000 274,000
4 CITY HOMICIDE Network 7 1,881,000 577,000 598,000 286,000 189,000 230,000
5 BORDER SECURITY - AUSTRALIA'S FRONT LINE Network 7 1,790,000 525,000 471,000 361,000 181,000 253,000
6 FIND MY FAMILY Network 7 1,777,000 479,000 505,000 393,000 165,000 235,000
7 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: THE HEROES OF BEIJING Network 7 1,774,000 554,000 525,000 268,000 177,000 250,000
8 THE FORCE - BEHIND THE LINE Network 7 1,728,000 486,000 482,000 319,000 174,000 266,000
9 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Network 7 1,683,000 457,000 448,000 373,000 162,000 244,000
10 SEVEN NEWS Network 7 1,551,000 422,000 388,000 329,000 171,000 242,000
11 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,437,000 403,000 402,000 317,000 91,000 224,000
12 TODAY TONIGHT Network 7 1,429,000 389,000 379,000 284,000 152,000 225,000
13 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Network 7 1,412,000 445,000 395,000 227,000 154,000 190,000
14 CRIMINAL MINDS Network 7 1,402,000 383,000 400,000 270,000 155,000 194,000
15 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - AUDITION 1 Network TEN 1,400,000 461,000 470,000 219,000 124,000 126,000
16 HOME AND AWAY Network 7 1,374,000 421,000 344,000 271,000 147,000 191,000
17 AUSTRALIA'S NAUGHTIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,368,000 460,000 362,000 207,000 186,000 153,000
18 NATIONAL NINE NEWS SUNDAY Network 9 1,347,000 359,000 444,000 270,000 150,000 123,000
19 MEDICAL EMERGENCY Network 7 1,308,000 379,000 336,000 253,000 147,000 194,000
20 GETAWAY Network 9 1,297,000 314,000 439,000 252,000 139,000 153,000
21 CRASH INVESTIGATION UNIT Network 7 1,282,000 387,000 302,000 268,000 141,000 185,000
22 60 MINUTES Network 9 1,276,000 357,000 386,000 280,000 134,000 118,000
23 ALL SAINTS Network 7 1,273,000 449,000 367,000 187,000 124,000 147,000
24 SPICKS AND SPECKS-EV Network ABC1 1,271,000 375,000 349,000 267,000 136,000 144,000
25 NCIS Network TEN 1,259,000 338,000 329,000 253,000 172,000 166,000
26 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - AUDITION 2 Network TEN 1,257,000 406,000 386,000 198,000 123,000 144,000
27 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Network 9 1,241,000 327,000 407,000 249,000 135,000 123,000
28 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - AUDITION 4 Network TEN 1,240,000 401,000 315,000 224,000 138,000 162,000
29 CSI: MIAMI Network 9 1,231,000 357,000 360,000 233,000 158,000 123,000
30 NATIONAL NINE NEWS Network 9 1,194,000 307,000 394,000 266,000 138,000 90,000
31 HOLE IN THE WALL Network 9 1,185,000 340,000 386,000 216,000 117,000 127,000
32 LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT Network TEN 1,180,000 226,000 434,000 224,000 143,000 153,000
33 BONES Network 7 1,169,000 308,000 396,000 181,000 137,000 146,000
34 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - AUDITION 5 Network TEN 1,148,000 296,000 310,000 227,000 142,000 173,000
35 ABC NEWS-EV Network ABC1 1,145,000 349,000 342,000 206,000 109,000 139,000
36 A CURRENT AFFAIR Network 9 1,118,000 297,000 355,000 246,000 130,000 90,000
37 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - AUDITION 3 Network TEN 1,098,000 305,000 336,000 206,000 126,000 124,000
38 LAW AND ORDER: SVU RPT Network TEN 1,081,000 282,000 342,000 191,000 144,000 122,000
39 WIPEOUT Network 9 1,079,000 311,000 344,000 151,000 124,000 150,000
40 NCIS RPT Network TEN 1,075,000 263,000 325,000 193,000 147,000 147,000
41 ABC NEWS-SU Network ABC1 1,061,000 325,000 313,000 178,000 112,000 133,000
42 TWO AND A HALF MEN -EP2 Network 9 1,058,000 347,000 311,000 174,000 98,000 128,000
43 DOCTOR WHO-EV Network ABC1 1,054,000 347,000 258,000 198,000 125,000 125,000
44 WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU SPRING SPECIAL Network 9 1,043,000 267,000 326,000 225,000 117,000 108,000
45 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - AUDITION 6 Network TEN 1,033,000 317,000 335,000 150,000 105,000 125,000
46 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: D16 LATE MORNING Network 7 1,017,000 295,000 336,000 178,000 98,000 110,000
47 ROVE Network TEN 1,015,000 309,000 380,000 149,000 82,000 96,000
48 GHOST WHISPERER Network 7 1,008,000 298,000 318,000 195,000 81,000 115,000
49 MARCH OF THE PENGUINS Network 9 1,004,000 312,000 280,000 172,000 124,000 116,000
50 M-THE INCREDIBLES Network 7 997,000 319,000 264,000 198,000 88,000 128,000

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in whoweare-index at 12:20 AM
• Comments (100)

The Tribal Mind: We'd rather be gardening

To learn why New Zealand should become part of Australia, go to Who We Are.

by David Dale
COCOONING. That's the word for what Australians are up to this year. You can see it in the way they're watching television and in the way they're buying magazines. With world politics confusing and the local economy alarming, we seek comfort in cooking, gardening, renovating, pet care and self-improvement.

After a year of adventure in which we boldly elected a Labor government, we're retreating inwards. On the box, we avoid challenges and embrace Domestic Blitz, RSPCA Animal Rescue and Better Homes and Gardens. At the newsagents, we avoid scandal and embrace Delicious, Health Smart and Better Homes and Gardens.

The six monthly report of the Audit Bureau of Circulations, released on Friday, contained depressing news for magazine publishers and comforting news for newspaper publishers. Of the 149 magazines measured by the bureau, 53 have suffered a drop in sales of more than 5 per cent, while only 18 have risen by more than 5 per cent. Of the 34 capital city newspapers measured by the bureau, none have dropped (or risen) by more than 5 per cent.

The changes in magazine sales suggest that, between mid 2007 and mid 2008 ...
158,000 Australians lost interest in gossip (big drops for Famous, New Idea, Woman's Day, NW and OK!)
59,000 lost interest in orgasms (Cleo, Cosmopolitan)
56,000 lost interest in breasts (Ralph, FHM, People, Picture and Zoo Weekly)
171,000 gained interest in personal fitness (a rise for Men's Health and the launch of Women's Health and Health Smart)
54,000 gained interest in houses and gardening (Belle, Better Homes and Gardens, Family Handyman, Gardening Australia, and Your Garden)
28,000 gained interest in food and wine (Delicious, Gourmet Traveller, Healthy Food Guide and Super Food Ideas).

So it's farewell to Britney, Paris, Lindsay, Katie, Angelina and the two Nicoles. Australia no longer wants to know you - unless you can tell us how to cook a nourishing brunch for the family.

What Australians read
1 The Sunday Telegraph 663,000 a week (down 1 per cent))
2 The Sunday Herald-Sun (Melbourne) 622,000 (unchanged)
3 The Sunday Mail (Brisbane) 565,000 a week (down 5%)
4 Women's Weekly 530,000 a month (down 12)
5 The Herald-Sun (Melbourne) 530,000 a day (down 1)
6 The Herald-Sun Saturday 511,000 (down 1)
7 The Sun-Herald 483,000 a week (down 4)
8 Woman's Day 430,000 a week (down 10)
9 The Daily Telegraph 385,000 a day (down 2)
10 The Sydney Morning Herald Saturday 358,000 (down 2)
11 New Idea 351,000 a week (down 10)
12 The West Australian Saturday 343,000 (down 4)
13 The Daily Telegraph Saturday 327,000 a week (down 2)
14 Readers Digest 350,000 a month (down 1)
15 Better Homes and Gardens 335,000 a month (up 14)
16 The Sunday Times (Perth) 328,000 (down 3)
17 The Sunday Mail (Adelaide) 313,000 a week (down 2)
18 Super Food Ideas 310,000 a month (up 6)
19 The Courier-Mail Sat 310,000 a week (down 2)
20 That's Life! 307,000 a week (down 7)
21 The Age (Melbourne) Saturday 302,000 (same)
22 The Weekend Australian 301,000 a week (up 1)
23 Take 5 257,000 a week (down 1)
24 The Advertiser (Adelaide) Saturday 256,000 (down 1)
25 TV Week 239,000 a week (down 9)
26 The Sunday Age 228,000 a week (up 1)
27 The Courier-Mail 218,000 a day (down 2)
28 The Age 208,000 a day (up 1)
29 The West Australian 195,000 a day (down 4)
30 The Advertiser 190,000 a day (down 1)

To explain these changes in Australia's reading habits, go to Comments

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 03:26 PM
• Comments (2)

The Who We Are update: Week 35

This week of the blog is now a heritage item - worth studying but not current. For the latest discussion, go to to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
For the viewers' verdict on the most f---able people on television, go to The Tribal Mind
To learn why New Zealand should become part of Australia, go to Who We Are.

What Australia watched, Saturday August 30
RNK Description STN Network Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,437,000 403,000 402,000 317,000 91,000 224,000
2 M-THE INCREDIBLES Network 7 997,000 319,000 264,000 198,000 88,000 128,000
3 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 953,000 338,000 263,000 128,000 109,000 114,000
4 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 952,000 268,000 261,000 211,000 121,000 91,000
5 ABC NEWS-SAT Network ABC1 904,000 276,000 274,000 134,000 112,000 107,000
6 THE BILL Network ABC1 876,000 270,000 255,000 140,000 103,000 108,000
7 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 843,000 127,000 428,000 43,000 125,000 121,000
14 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Network TEN 654,000 59,000 300,000 28,000 151,000 116,000
23 STAR WARS: EPISODE VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI RPT Network TEN 335,000 113,000 79,000 40,000 55,000 48,000
24 MYTHBUSTERS Network SBS 332,000 121,000 93,000 48,000 45,000 25,000
36 ROCKWIZ Network SBS 248,000 68,000 92,000 39,000 22,000 26,000
40 SEVEN'S R.U: TRI-NATIONS: S A V AUS Network 7 225,000 97,000 29,000 53,000 19,000 27,000
Continued here

What Australia watched, Friday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Network 7 1,412,000 445,000 395,000 227,000 154,000 190,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Network 7 1,370,000 382,000 308,000 260,000 181,000 239,000
3 HOME AND AWAY Network 7 1,173,000 375,000 286,000 221,000 129,000 162,000
4 TODAY TONIGHT Network 7 1,172,000 327,000 267,000 243,000 125,000 210,000
5 NINE NEWS Network 9 1,113,000 257,000 344,000 259,000 153,000 100,000
6 A CURRENT AFFAIR Network 9 1,050,000 250,000 329,000 253,000 137,000 80,000
7 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - AUDITION 6 Network TEN 1,033,000 317,000 335,000 150,000 105,000 125,000
8 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Network 9 1,028,000 249,000 321,000 229,000 119,000 110,000
9 ABC NEWS Network ABC1 1,025,000 283,000 315,000 169,000 107,000 151,000
10 AGATHA CHRISTIE: POIROT: TAKEN AT THE FLOOD RPT Network ABC1 987,000 296,000 281,000 165,000 128,000 118,000
15 AMERICAN DREAMZ Network TEN 735,000 251,000 209,000 117,000 66,000 92,000
16 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 22: FREMANTLE VS COLLINGWOOD Network 7 722,000 15,000 422,000 12,000 120,000 152,000
21 NINE'S LIVE FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Network 9 500,000 301,000 199,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)
What Australia watched, Thursday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,598,000 424,000 443,000 340,000 147,000 244,000
2 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,439,000 354,000 434,000 273,000 150,000 229,000
3 AUSTRALIA'S NAUGHTIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Nine 1,366,000 459,000 360,000 209,000 185,000 152,000
4 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,305,000 366,000 362,000 256,000 151,000 171,000
5 GETAWAY Nine 1,301,000 312,000 442,000 254,000 140,000 153,000
6 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,283,000 312,000 406,000 286,000 165,000 114,000
7 LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT Ten 1,180,000 226,000 434,000 224,000 143,000 153,000
8 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - AUDITION 5 Ten 1,148,000 296,000 310,000 227,000 142,000 173,000
9 NINE NEWS Nine 1,143,000 293,000 382,000 244,000 140,000 83,000
10 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,124,000 275,000 363,000 248,000 156,000 82,000
11 LAW AND ORDER: SVU RPT Ten 1,081,000 282,000 342,000 191,000 144,000 122,000
12 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,068,000 309,000 325,000 196,000 95,000 143,000
13 THE FOOTY SHOW Nine 1,021,000 282,000 424,000 119,000 101,000 95,000
14 GHOST WHISPERER Seven 1,003,000 298,000 317,000 194,000 79,000 115,000
15 MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL Seven 936,000 265,000 257,000 160,000 93,000 96,000
24 UGLY BETTY Seven 573,000 178,000 162,000 101,000 72,000 61,000

The ratings race, updated 10 am Thursday
It must have been only the readers of this blog who were unimpressed with the Olympic coverage. Every other viewer in the land is under Seven's spell. Or Kerry Stokes sacrificed a goat to the Ratings God. Even on a night when it has bugger-all in the way of interesting programs, Channel Seven still manages to hold 27.9 per cent of the prime time audience, while Nine, which expected to score with Hole In The Wall, could manage only 26.5 (Ten 22.5, ABC 18.5, SBS 4.6).

What Australia watched, Wednesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,498,000 435,000 370,000 320,000 162,000 212,000
2 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,410,000 430,000 350,000 276,000 151,000 203,000
3 CRIMINAL MINDS Seven 1,402,000 384,000 399,000 269,000 155,000 194,000
4 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,393,000 398,000 371,000 265,000 154,000 206,000
5 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,366,000 379,000 461,000 272,000 121,000 134,000
6 MEDICAL EMERGENCY Seven 1,307,000 380,000 335,000 252,000 147,000 194,000
7 NINE NEWS Nine 1,303,000 302,000 482,000 290,000 128,000 102,000
8 CRASH INVESTIGATION UNIT Seven 1,281,000 387,000 302,000 267,000 140,000 184,000
9 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,253,000 370,000 343,000 263,000 134,000 142,000
10 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - AUDITION 4 Ten 1,240,000 401,000 315,000 224,000 138,000 162,000
11 HOLE IN THE WALL Nine 1,188,000 338,000 388,000 218,000 117,000 127,000
12 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,182,000 308,000 399,000 262,000 110,000 104,000
15 THE HOLLOWMEN ABC1 926,000 288,000 257,000 189,000 98,000 94,000
18 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Ten 868,000 256,000 280,000 138,000 87,000 107,000
19 CLICK Nine 849,000 285,000 274,000 95,000 110,000 85,000
26 ALAN SUGAR: THE APPRENTICE Seven 583,000 136,000 205,000 116,000 52,000 74,000
31 AT THE MOVIES ABC1 418,000 132,000 132,000 59,000 52,000 43,000
37 SUNRISE Seven 351,000 112,000 72,000 96,000 24,000 48,000
48 TODAY Nine 274,000 76,000 100,000 42,000 19,000 36,000

The ratings race, updated 10 am Wednesday
Channel Nine must be regretting its decision to run dead this week and leave its final assault on the year's ratings until next week. By staying out of the game, Nine has given Seven a free kick to lock viewers in to all the new programs it was previewing during the Olympics. On Tuesday Seven averaged 34.8 per cent of the prime time audience, while Nine got 23.9, Ten 22.1, ABC 15.7 and SBS 3.5.

What Australia watched, Tuesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 PACKED TO THE RAFTERS Seven 1,945,000 569,000 608,000 396,000 161,000 210,000
2 FIND MY FAMILY Seven 1,774,000 479,000 501,000 393,000 165,000 235,000
3 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Seven 1,681,000 457,000 445,000 373,000 162,000 244,000
4 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,605,000 432,000 410,000 351,000 186,000 226,000
5 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,500,000 427,000 398,000 286,000 180,000 210,000
6 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,430,000 453,000 336,000 304,000 146,000 191,000
7 ALL SAINTS Seven 1,282,000 448,000 375,000 187,000 125,000 147,000
8 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,281,000 388,000 367,000 253,000 128,000 145,000
9 NCIS Ten 1,258,000 337,000 331,000 252,000 172,000 166,000
10 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,183,000 333,000 373,000 209,000 145,000 123,000
11 NINE NEWS Nine 1,127,000 335,000 356,000 244,000 121,000 69,000
12 NCIS RPT Ten 1,101,000 271,000 331,000 200,000 150,000 149,000
13 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - AUDITION 3 Ten 1,089,000 303,000 334,000 205,000 124,000 123,000
14 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,086,000 316,000 326,000 235,000 117,000 91,000
15 WIPEOUT Nine 1,085,000 310,000 347,000 154,000 125,000 149,000
16 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,009,000 337,000 287,000 153,000 98,000 133,000
19 GRUMPY OLD WOMEN ABC1 886,000 268,000 236,000 180,000 95,000 108,000
21 50 TO 1 -RPT Nine 816,000 278,000 220,000 149,000 93,000 75,000
23 GRAND DESIGNS ABC1 801,000 240,000 236,000 140,000 98,000 86,000
33 SUNRISE Seven 432,000 146,000 95,000 107,000 35,000 50,000
55 TODAY Nine 245,000 78,000 73,000 46,000 18,000 30,000

The ratings race, updated 10 am Tuesday
Apparently millions of TV dials are now permanently stuck on Channel Seven. With the Olympics over, you might have expected a swing back to Channel Nine. But on Monday night, with the resumption of real ratings measurement for the year, Seven held 34.1 per cent of the prime time audience, while Nine could manage only 22 per cent, Ten 20, ABC 16.9 and SBS 7.0.

Mind you, the viewers were tired from the closing ceremony, and went to bed early, leaving Boston Legal and 30 Rock with the miniscule audiences you see in our chart. By the way, does anybody want to venture an analysis of Tina Fey's movie Baby Mama? As a fan of 30 Rock and a supporter of Fey's inclusion in The Desirability Index, this column found the film disappointing, but the target demographic may have a different opinion.

What Australia watched, Monday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 CITY HOMICIDE Seven 1,888,000 577,000 598,000 295,000 189,000 230,000
2 BORDER SECURITY Seven 1,788,000 525,000 470,000 359,000 181,000 253,000
3 THE FORCE Seven 1,718,000 486,000 481,000 310,000 174,000 266,000
4 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,684,000 436,000 411,000 371,000 179,000 287,000
5 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,622,000 431,000 415,000 358,000 149,000 268,000
6 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,536,000 482,000 380,000 292,000 158,000 224,000
7 NINE NEWS Nine 1,279,000 346,000 406,000 289,000 140,000 98,000
8 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - AUDITION 2 Ten 1,245,000 403,000 383,000 196,000 120,000 144,000
9 BONES Seven 1,188,000 309,000 402,000 192,000 139,000 146,000
10 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,172,000 366,000 383,000 194,000 109,000 118,000
11 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,085,000 314,000 412,000 224,000 135,000
12 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,055,000 332,000 352,000 237,000 134,000
13 MARCH OF THE PENGUINS Nine 1,005,000 312,000 280,000 173,000 124,000 116,000
22 FOUR CORNERS ABC1 801,000 263,000 220,000 148,000 75,000 95,000
26 TOP GEAR (SERIES 2) Network SBS 730,000 231,000 216,000 104,000 101,000 78,000
34 BOSTON LEGAL Seven 490,000 125,000 187,000 69,000 65,000 44,000
35 SUNRISE Seven 422,000 138,000 86,000 103,000 37,000 57,000
50 TODAY Nine 285,000 83,000 92,000 44,000 25,000 40,000
52 THE MIGHTY BOOSH Network SBS 265,000 63,000 98,000 36,000 37,000 31,000
58 30 ROCK Seven 227,000 55,000 86,000 36,000 29,000 21,000

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
Of course Channel Seven won gold for attracting the biggest numbers last week -- an average of 1.9 million viewers in the mainland capitals every night and 43 per cent of the prime time audience -- but who won the silver and bronze? Nine got six programs into the Seven-dominated top 30 for the week, with its Sunday news and 60 Minutes pulling 1.4 million, and A Current Affair 1.1 million (not much less than its average in non-Olympic times). So that's a silver for Nine.

And the bronze must go to the ABC, which managed three top 30 performers -- its weeknight news with 1.1 million and Doctor Who and Spicks and Specks, both with 1 million. The Doctor scored strongly again on Sunday night, with his most interesting episode so far this season. Stay out of the shadows.

Ten could manage only one show in the top 30 last week -- a repeat of Law and Order: SVU -- but was cheered by 1.4 million for Sunday's new season launch of Australian Idol. On Pay TV last week, NRL: Bulldogs v Eels (Fox Sports 2) pulled 220,000 and Project Runway Australia (Arena) pulled 175,000.

For the record, Seven says some part of its Olympic coverage was seen by 12.2 million viewers in the mainland capitals (and 17 million across the nation), with an average audience of 2 million each night -- 38 per cent more than the Athens Olympics.

Television returns to reality today, and the medals will count for nothing in the eyes of the ad agencies. For them, Seven and Nine are neck and neck. Australia's viewing behaviour in the next 13 weeks will determine where they place their clients' money next year.

What Australia watched, Sunday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,927,000 577,000 490,000 393,000 192,000 275,000
2 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D16 PRIMETIME Seven 1,776,000 555,000 526,000 268,000 177,000 250,000
3 BEIJING OLYMPICS: CLOSING CEREMONY Seven 1,541,000 466,000 487,000 179,000 168,000 241,000
4 AUSTRALIAN IDOL - AUDITION 1 Ten 1,395,000 459,000 468,000 219,000 124,000 125,000
5 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,345,000 359,000 443,000 269,000 150,000 123,000
6 60 MINUTES Nine 1,273,000 357,000 385,000 281,000 132,000 118,000
7 CSI: MIAMI Nine 1,070,000 311,000 313,000 191,000 137,000 118,000
8 ABC NEWS-SUN ABC1 1,061,000 325,000 313,000 178,000 112,000 133,000
9 DOCTOR WHO ABC1 1,060,000 349,000 259,000 200,000 126,000 126,000
10 WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU SPRING SPECIAL Nine 1,051,000 269,000 329,000 227,000 117,000 108,000
13 ROVE Ten 1,011,000 307,000 378,000 147,000 82,000 96,000
20 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 21: ST KILDA VS ADELAIDE Seven 577,000 302,000 151,000 124,000
24 DEXTER Ten 451,000 130,000 140,000 50,000 61,000 69,000
26 NINE'S SUNDAY FOOTBALL Nine 411,000 226,000 Not shown 184,000 Not shown Not shown
45 LOOK BOTH WAYS SBS 188,000 73,000 34,000 26,000 42,000 13,000
55 INSIDE HIS DARK MATERIALS: THE WORLD OF PHILIP PULLMAN ABC1 161,000 51,000 36,000 29,000 23,000 22,000

What Australia watched, week ending August 23
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D9 PRIMETIME Network 7 2,226,000 677,000 716,000 376,000 217,000 240,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Network 7 2,187,000 589,000 660,000 452,000 243,000 243,000
3 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D11 PRIMETIME Network 7 2,090,000 637,000 656,000 342,000 219,000 236,000
4 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D10 PRIMETIME Network 7 2,043,000 584,000 638,000 359,000 225,000 238,000
5 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D12 PRIMETIME Network 7 2,038,000 640,000 618,000 361,000 195,000 225,000
6 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,986,000 592,000 578,000 359,000 197,000 259,000
7 SEVEN NEWS Network 7 1,886,000 583,000 514,000 371,000 195,000 222,000
8 TODAY TONIGHT Network 7 1,732,000 529,000 491,000 322,000 173,000 216,000
9 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: D15 PRIMETIME Network 7 1,687,000 510,000 524,000 272,000 167,000 215,000
10 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: D13 PRIMETIME Network 7 1,646,000 508,000 497,000 278,000 167,000 196,000
11 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D9 LATE MORNING Network 7 1,553,000 449,000 495,000 314,000 149,000 146,000
12 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D14 PRIMETIME Network 7 1,550,000 528,000 462,000 208,000 177,000 176,000
13 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D15 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,445,000 464,000 513,000 193,000 163,000 113,000
14 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Network 9 1,399,000 401,000 400,000 328,000 175,000 95,000
15 60 MINUTES Network 9 1,387,000 385,000 400,000 280,000 151,000 172,000
16 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D9 FRINGE Network 7 1,380,000 487,000 445,000 287,000 162,000
17 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D15 FRINGE Network 7 1,368,000 511,000 379,000 219,000 120,000 139,000
18 NINE NEWS Network 9 1,192,000 299,000 374,000 261,000 142,000 116,000
19 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D10 FRINGE Network 7 1,167,000 391,000 325,000 231,000 101,000 119,000
20 A CURRENT AFFAIR Network 9 1,138,000 288,000 362,000 245,000 137,000 107,000
21 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D12 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,110,000 354,000 392,000 164,000 102,000 97,000
22 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D14 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,102,000 366,000 346,000 142,000 130,000 120,000
23 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,090,000 305,000 311,000 219,000 83,000 172,000
24 ABC NEWS Network ABC1 1,089,000 331,000 318,000 191,000 112,000 137,000
25 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D12 FRINGE Network 7 1,079,000 349,000 330,000 198,000 108,000 93,000
26 DOCTOR WHO Network ABC1 1,074,000 388,000 266,000 181,000 119,000 122,000
27 SPICKS AND SPECKS Network ABC1 1,039,000 321,000 315,000 187,000 88,000 128,000
28 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D11 FRINGE Network 7 1,038,000 303,000 304,000 206,000 114,000 111,000
29 GETAWAY Network 9 1,038,000 277,000 365,000 189,000 113,000 94,000
30 LAW AND ORDER: SVU RPT Network TEN 1,009,000 268,000 326,000 173,000 110,000 133,000
31 NCIS EP 1 RPT Network TEN 1,009,000 258,000 242,000 177,000 141,000 191,000
32 GRUMPY OLD WOMEN Network ABC1 1,005,000 297,000 296,000 175,000 115,000 121,000
33 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,004,000 256,000 315,000 227,000 106,000 100,000
34 CSI: MIAMI -RPT Network 9 992,000 256,000 284,000 205,000 119,000 127,000
35 FOUR CORNERS Network ABC1 989,000 308,000 281,000 160,000 106,000 133,000
36 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Network 9 981,000 267,000 314,000 185,000 116,000 98,000
37 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D11 LATE NIGHT Network 7 978,000 314,000 317,000 145,000 107,000 94,000
38 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D14 FRINGE Network 7 976,000 322,000 286,000 181,000 92,000 95,000
39 AUSTRALIAN STORY Network ABC1 973,000 306,000 303,000 167,000 94,000 104,000
40 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D9 AFTERNOON Network 7 966,000 404,000 264,000 140,000 158,000
41 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE THURS Network TEN 962,000 261,000 319,000 163,000 84,000 135,000
42 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: D13 LATE NIGHT Network 7 959,000 334,000 296,000 136,000 105,000 88,000
43 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D13 FRINGE Network 7 956,000 287,000 300,000 203,000 99,000 67,000
44 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: D10 LATE NIGHT Network 7 948,000 316,000 296,000 159,000 103,000 73,000
45 THE NEW INVENTORS-EV Network ABC1 943,000 265,000 290,000 200,000 85,000 102,000
46 COLD CASE -RPT Network 9 942,000 223,000 332,000 160,000 110,000 117,000
47 THE SIMPSONS MON EP 1 Network TEN 942,000 290,000 320,000 141,000 79,000 113,000
48 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D15 LATE MORNING Network 7 939,000 294,000 327,000 130,000 89,000 99,000
49 AGATHA CHRISTIE: POIROT: CARDS ON THE TABLE RPT Network ABC1 939,000 240,000 301,000 152,000 126,000 120,000
50 ABC NEWS-SU Network ABC1 937,000 242,000 272,000 186,000 117,000 120,000
(OzTAM mainland capitals)

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in whoweare-index at 10:10 AM
• Comments (89)

WHO WE ARE: In the eye of the beholder

One of the great mysteries of modern diplomacy is who told the President of East Timor, Jose Ramos Horta, that Amanda Vanstone looked like Nicole Kidman.

To learn why New Zealand should become part of Australia, go to Younger, sexier, smarter.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 17/10/2008
One of the great mysteries of modern diplomacy is who told the President of East Timor, Jose Ramos Horta, that Amanda Vanstone looked like Nicole Kidman. It's such a breathtaking proposition that it causes us to see politicians in a whole new way, and opens up today's topic: who are Australia's sexiest politicians and who should play them in the movies?

In an interview with Andrew Denton on the ABC, President Ramos Horta recalled that a couple of years back he'd sought advice on how to suggest a guest worker scheme to Immigration Minister Vanstone, whom he had never met. Someone told him: "Invite her for dinner -- she looks like Nicole Kidman."

Ramos Horta continued: "So I wrote to her, a diplomatic letter but with some hints of romance, meaning I was very warm towards her ... I was a total failure in trying to seduce Amanda Vanstone, she was not terribly impressed.''

So where did the Kidman-Vanstone comparison come from? My theory is the mysterious adviser had fallen under the spell that afflicted Jack Black in the movie Shallow Hal. The magic allows Black to see the inner beauty in everyone, so when he looks at a woman of substantial proportions, he sees Gwyneth Paltrow.

Lets put ourselves under the same spell and cast an eye over the parliaments of Australia. Here's my first attempt.

Australia's sexiest politicians and their inner stars
If Nicole Kidman is Amanda Vanstone, then ...
Tom Cruise is Brendan Nelson -- although he could also be Malcolm Turnbull, unless ...
Russell Crowe is Malcolm Turnbull.
Cate Blanchett is Julia Gillard -- although, having successfully played Bob Dylan, she could be Peter Costello.
Brad Pitt is Kevin Rudd.
Abbie Cornish is Tanya Plibersek (see below).
Vince Colosimo is Morris Iemma.
Helen Mirren is Bronwyn Bishop.
Ralph Fiennes is Paul Keating.
Cornelia Frances is Julie Bishop.
Bruce Willis is Peter Garrett.
Meryl Streep is Maxine McKew.
Hugh Jackman is Wayne Swan.
K. D. Lang is Penny Wong.
Hugo Weaving is Bob Brown.
Morgan Freeman is John Howard.

You see how it works. Just look for the inner beauty.

I had the most trouble with Belinda Neal, whose biopic would be titled The Iguana Intervention. Lindsay Lohan? Noni Hazlehurst? And then I realised I had to go back to the movie that inspired this whole thing. Of course -- Belinda Neal is Gwyneth Paltrow.

To nominate Australia's sexiest politicians and their true star selves, go to Comments

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in whoweare-index at 06:04 AM
• Comments (17)

The Who We Are update: Week 33

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For the latest media discussion, go here
To learn why New Zealand should become part of Australia, go to Younger, sexier, smarter.
To discuss why Amanda Vanstone is like Nicole Kidman, go to Who We Are.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 PRIMETIME Network 7 1,935,000 623,000 574,000 352,000 170,000 216,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,925,000 599,000 546,000 315,000 190,000 275,000
3 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 FRINGE Network 7 1,336,000 453,000 370,000 238,000 111,000 164,000
4 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 LATE MORNING Network 7 1,233,000 318,000 424,000 223,000 112,000 157,000
5 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,199,000 417,000 390,000 155,000 147,000 89,000
6 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D8 AFTERNOON Network 7 1,198,000 386,000 363,000 248,000 90,000 112,000
7 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,133,000 286,000 360,000 238,000 141,000 109,000
8 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,006,000 265,000 310,000 212,000 96,000 123,000
9 ABC NEWS-SAT Network ABC1 795,000 211,000 254,000 136,000 95,000 99,000
10 THE BILL Network ABC1 746,000 262,000 199,000 112,000 82,000 90,000
16 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 571,000 87,000 294,000 66,000 67,000 58,000
20 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Network TEN 412,000 32,000 154,000 20,000 121,000 85,000
30 STAR WARS: EPISODE IV - A NEW HOPE RPT Network TEN 286,000 54,000 96,000 56,000 37,000 43,000
40 ICE ROAD TRUCKERS Network TEN 189,000 189,000
70 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 20: PORT ADELAIDE VS COLLINGWOOD Network 7 82,000 47,000 35,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

What Australia watched, Friday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Network 7 2,042,000 648,000 574,000 349,000 212,000 259,000
2 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D7 PRIMETIME Network 7 1,912,000 592,000 607,000 331,000 206,000 175,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Network 7 1,877,000 596,000 497,000 322,000 219,000 244,000
4 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D7 FRINGE Network 7 1,332,000 458,000 391,000 243,000 122,000 118,000
5 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D7 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,189,000 352,000 398,000 192,000 135,000 113,000
6 NINE NEWS Network 9 1,060,000 263,000 333,000 261,000 110,000 94,000
7 AGATHA CHRISTIE: AFTER THE FUNERAL RPT Network ABC1 994,000 315,000 320,000 143,000 103,000 113,000
8 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D7 AFTERNOON Network 7 970,000 313,000 300,000 185,000 92,000 80,000
9 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D7 LATE MORNING Network 7 901,000 283,000 273,000 196,000 78,000 71,000
10 A CURRENT AFFAIR Network 9 880,000 221,000 268,000 213,000 96,000 82,000
11 ABC NEWS Network ABC1 870,000 257,000 244,000 138,000 110,000 121,000
12 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE FRI Network TEN 854,000 242,000 282,000 132,000 74,000 124,000
14 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 20: PORT ADELAIDE VS COLLINGWOOD Network 7 762,000 Not shown 451,000 Not shown 166,000 145,000
22 NINE'S LIVE FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Network 9 486,000 246,000 Not shown 241,000 Not shown Not shown
25 SUNRISE Network 7 439,000 151,000 83,000 109,000 36,000 59,000
29 BEIJING 2008: ARCHERY MENS GOLD MEDAL Network SBS 399,000 61,000 195,000 35,000 55,000 53,000
36 TODAY Network 9 298,000 87,000 104,000 50,000 20,000 37,000

What Australia watched, Thursday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D6 PRIMETIME Seven 1,968,000 608,000 602,000 366,000 195,000 197,000
2 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,904,000 596,000 575,000 326,000 181,000 226,000
3 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,891,000 575,000 567,000 346,000 177,000 226,000
4 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D6 FRINGE Seven 1,139,000 386,000 333,000 216,000 113,000 91,000
5 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,060,000 321,000 318,000 168,000 124,000 129,000
6 NINE NEWS Nine 1,032,000 303,000 285,000 203,000 144,000 98,000
7 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 952,000 256,000 292,000 184,000 130,000 89,000
8 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D6 AFTERNOON Seven 923,000 287,000 296,000 162,000 98,000 79,000
9 LAW AND ORDER: SVU RPT Ten 910,000 251,000 288,000 161,000 102,000 109,000
10 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D6 LATE MORNING Seven 910,000 265,000 294,000 178,000 90,000 84,000
11 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE THURS Ten 904,000 287,000 292,000 164,000 64,000 98,000
12 LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT Ten 841,000 235,000 304,000 136,000 75,000 91,000
18 GETAWAY Nine 760,000 218,000 231,000 151,000 76,000 84,000
22 THE FOOTY SHOW Nine 632,000 110,000 288,000 85,000 76,000 73,000
24 HUNT THE KAISER'S CRUISERS! ABC1 592,000 180,000 166,000 94,000 69,000 84,000
29 SUNRISE Seven 445,000 136,000 88,000 126,000 33,000 62,000
34 BEIJING OLYMPICS: YUM CHA D6 Seven 311,000 100,000 96,000 87,000 28,000 Not shown
39 TODAY Nine 292,000 102,000 78,000 50,000 28,000 34,000

What Australia watched, Wednesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D5 PRIMETIME Seven 2,131,000 629,000 667,000 401,000 230,000 204,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 2,047,000 655,000 518,000 427,000 199,000 248,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,960,000 638,000 504,000 381,000 191,000 246,000
4 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D5 FRINGE Seven 1,438,000 448,000 417,000 315,000 126,000 133,000
5 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,063,000 310,000 310,000 203,000 109,000 132,000
6 NINE NEWS Nine 1,061,000 288,000 292,000 234,000 136,000 110,000
7 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: D5 AFTERNOON Seven 1,060,000 310,000 319,000 252,000 83,000 96,000
8 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,053,000 311,000 334,000 155,000 96,000 157,000
9 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 943,000 274,000 264,000 187,000 124,000 95,000
10 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Ten 904,000 264,000 266,000 149,000 96,000 129,000
24 FREEZING ABC1 521,000 159,000 155,000 91,000 53,000 64,000
25 SUNRISE Seven 479,000 168,000 97,000 131,000 34,000 49,000
32 BEIJING 2008: MENS FOOTBALL AUSTRALIA V IVORY COAST SBS 397,000 132,000 134,000 50,000 44,000 38,000
36 THAT MITCHELL AND WEBB LOOK ABC1 346,000 99,000 111,000 57,000 33,000 46,000
37 CANAL ROAD Nine 340,000 84,000 105,000 52,000 51,000 47,000
39 TODAY Nine 309,000 81,000 100,000 64,000 28,000 36,000
40 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: YUM CHA D5 Seven 295,000 93,000 77,000 97,000 27,000

The ratings race, updated 10 am Wednesday
The records being broken this week are not only in sport. It looks as if Seven scored a record figure on Monday night for its news -- 2.45 million. Some Sunday newses in the past have done better, but this seems to be the highest weekday figure so far this decade. For further info on how this compares with earlier viewing records, go to The TV Shows We Loved).

Now here's a challenge. What will be the first non-Oly-related program in the next nine days to beat the Olympics to number one spot in the daily ratings chart? In other words, at what point will the majority of Australian viewers tire of sport and switch to other channels in search of an alternative, and what will that alternative be? Go to comments, below, to register your prediction.

What Australia watched, Tuesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 2,219,000 666,000 628,000 438,000 205,000 282,000
2 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D4 PRIMETIME Seven 2,111,000 664,000 607,000 405,000 207,000 228,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,967,000 594,000 519,000 366,000 208,000 281,000
4 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D4 FRINGE Seven 1,710,000 556,000 532,000 333,000 151,000 137,000
5 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,108,000 338,000 326,000 156,000 152,000 137,000
6 NINE NEWS Nine 1,061,000 279,000 310,000 224,000 148,000 101,000
7 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,050,000 292,000 342,000 195,000 124,000 97,000
8 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,036,000 264,000 339,000 178,000 123,000 133,000
9 NCIS EP 1 RPT Ten 1,028,000 275,000 288,000 193,000 125,000 147,000
10 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D4 AFTERNOON Seven 1,003,000 275,000 321,000 211,000 100,000 96,000
11 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D4 LATE NIGHT Seven 964,000 297,000 320,000 171,000 102,000 73,000
12 NCIS EP 2 RPT Ten 928,000 237,000 288,000 157,000 113,000 134,000
13 GRUMPY OLD WOMEN ABC1 884,000 269,000 255,000 129,000 126,000 105,000
14 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D4 LATE MORNING Seven 876,000 222,000 282,000 205,000 85,000 82,000
15 FRIENDS - DAILY Ten 876,000 224,000 285,000 147,000 94,000 125,000
16 GRAND DESIGNS ABC1 856,000 275,000 257,000 124,000 107,000 95,000
17 7.30 REPORT ABC1 839,000 308,000 224,000 106,000 115,000 87,000
18 DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER Nine 837,000 199,000 273,000 131,000 107,000 126,000
19 TIL DEATH -RPT Nine 828,000 222,000 277,000 138,000 102,000 91,000
20 THE SIMPSONS TUES EP 2 Ten 826,000 184,000 265,000 168,000 87,000 122,000

What Australia watched, Monday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 2,451,000 657,000 819,000 458,000 223,000 293,000
2 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 2,167,000 611,000 713,000 364,000 205,000 274,000
3 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D3 PRIMETIME Seven 2,014,000 585,000 636,000 366,000 191,000 237,000
4 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D3 FRINGE Seven 1,701,000 510,000 574,000 369,000 132,000 116,000
5 NINE NEWS Nine 1,140,000 279,000 337,000 255,000 154,000 115,000
6 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D3 AFTERNOON Seven 1,133,000 308,000 364,000 264,000 98,000 99,000
7 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,088,000 276,000 323,000 232,000 144,000 114,000
8 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,030,000 342,000 327,000 138,000 105,000 119,000
9 FOUR CORNERS ABC1 990,000 320,000 282,000 185,000 89,000 114,000
10 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D3 LATE MORNING Seven 985,000 253,000 320,000 242,000 83,000 87,000
11 THE MAN WHO LIVES WITH BEARS Nine 953,000 241,000 294,000 182,000 126,000 109,000
12 AUSTRALIAN STORY ABC1 944,000 307,000 266,000 172,000 93,000 107,000
13 THE SIMPSONS MON EP 2 Ten 885,000 298,000 220,000 151,000 100,000 115,000
21 BURN NOTICE MON Ten 785,000 236,000 199,000 165,000 94,000 92,000
22 ENOUGH ROPE WITH ANDREW DENTON ABC1 768,000 210,000 272,000 116,000 81,000 90,000
28 THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN RPT Ten 528,000 164,000 143,000 82,000 72,000 68,000
32 SUNRISE Seven 441,000 145,000 93,000 116,000 33,000 54,000
33 BEIJING 2008: MENS ARCHERY TEAM FINAL SBS 405,000 105,000 131,000 73,000 39,000 57,000
34 BEIJING 2008: WOMENS BEACH VOLLEYBALL DAY 3 SBS 389,000 97,000 160,000 65,000 47,000 21,000
39 TODAY Nine 296,000 74,000 104,000 52,000 23,000 43,000

The ratings race, updated 10 am Monday
If Seven's programmers were worried that politics or pollution might put Australians off switching to Beijing, they can relax now. On Friday night an average of 3.3 million people in the mainland capitals watched the Olympic opening ceremony between 10 pm and 2am, with a peak audience of 4.4 million for the singing and 2.5 million still awake when the Australians marched in. (By comparison, the Athens opening in 2004 was watched by 3.04 million, Sydney scored 6.5m in 2000 and Atlanta scored 3.1m in 1996)

Then on Saturday evening, 2.2 million watched the heats. And on Sunday, there were still 2 million watching the prime time performances. Seven estimates that 11.8 million Australians saw some part of the coverage on Friday or Saturday, offering some compensation for the disappointing performance of Make Me A Supermodel, which drew only a million viewers on Wednesday and Thursday and fell way behind Nine's gloriously silly new game show Hole In The Wall.

Seven's most watched non-sporting program of the week was The One -- Australia's Most Gifted Psychic, while Nine scored with 60 Minutes and The Farmer Wants A Wife . The ABC drew 1.4 million to Spicks and Specks and 1.2 million to Foyle's War, but Freezing, which replaced The Gruen Transfer on Wednesday, managed only 859,000, a drop of 400,000, while The Hollowmen has now sunk to 803,000.

Ten's only entry in the Top 40 was a repeat of NCIS, with 1.1 million, while SBS drew a remarkable 1.04 million to Top Gear and 347,000 to the Men's Cycling on Saturday. The most watched shows on Pay TV included NRL: Knights v Eels (Fox Sports 2) 299,000; NRL Sharks v Rabbitohs (Fox Sports 2) 249,000; America's Next Top Model (Fox 8) 220,000; Futurama Fox 8) 190,000 and Project Runway Australia (Arena) 173,000.

Of course, Seven won the week, averaging 34.8 per cent of the prime time audience to Nine's 24.8, Ten's 18.4, ABC's 16.7 and SBS's 5.3.

What Australia watched, Sunday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 2,095,000 576,000 551,000 437,000 225,000 306,000
2 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D2 PRIMETIME Seven 2,093,000 690,000 565,000 377,000 209,000 253,000
3 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D2 AFTERNOON Seven 1,821,000 505,000 626,000 327,000 165,000 198,000
4 60 MINUTES Nine 1,453,000 380,000 464,000 279,000 152,000 178,000
5 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,312,000 390,000 421,000 255,000 147,000 100,000
6 CSI: MIAMI -RPT Nine 1,130,000 247,000 381,000 239,000 134,000 130,000
7 ABC NEWS-SU ABC1 1,121,000 287,000 356,000 229,000 116,000 133,000
8 OLYMPICS: D2 LATE NIGHT Seven 1,090,000 321,000 384,000 201,000 111,000 73,000
9 DOCTOR WHO ABC1 1,008,000 323,000 244,000 217,000 98,000 126,000
10 THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE RPT Ten 989,000 272,000 335,000 200,000 96,000 85,000
11 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: YUM CHA D2 Seven 931,000 267,000 287,000 198,000 93,000 86,000
14 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 19: ADELAIDE VS RICHMOND Seven 838,000 141,000 389,000 99,000 194,000 15,000
15 A BACKSTAGE PASS TO CIRQUE DU SOLEIL Nine 826,000 209,000 242,000 155,000 114,000 107,000
16 AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL Ten 818,000 234,000 277,000 160,000 72,000 75,000
19 PERFECT DAY: THE WEDDING ABC1 724,000 227,000 215,000 108,000 77,000 97,000
20 DOCTOR WHO: CONFIDENTIAL CUTDOWN ABC1 721,000 213,000 189,000 133,000 77,000 109,000
21 BEIJING 2008: WOMENS CYCLING ROAD RACE SBS 677,000 229,000 220,000 141,000 49,000 38,000
26 STAR WARS: EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH RPT Ten 492,000 121,000 164,000 83,000 64,000 59,000
27 NINE'S SUNDAY FOOTBALL Nine 424,000 282,000 142,000
34 CANAL ROAD Nine 259,000 64,000 81,000 39,000 31,000 44,000
42 WWE AFTERBURN Nine 200,000 74,000 44,000 51,000 25,000 7,000
57 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 19: WEST COAST VS ESSENDON Seven 145,000 145,000
68 THE CITY TO SURF 2008 Ten 120,000 58,000 31,000 15,000 6,000 10,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

What Australia watched, week ending August 9
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BEIJING OLYMPICS: OPENING CEREMONY Network 7 3,307,000 1,007,000 1,028,000 444,000 356,000 473,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 2,218,000 683,000 621,000 448,000 187,000 280,000
3 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D1 PRIMETIME Network 7 2,214,000 719,000 553,000 476,000 201,000 265,000
4 60 MINUTES Network 9 1,747,000 502,000 507,000 354,000 172,000 211,000
5 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D1 FRINGE Network 7 1,717,000 541,000 494,000 330,000 166,000 187,000
6 THE FARMER WANTS A WIFE Network 9 1,698,000 549,000 534,000 288,000 181,000 146,000
7 TWO AND A HALF MEN Network 9 1,660,000 473,000 437,000 351,000 201,000 200,000
8 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Network 7 1,606,000 359,000 447,000 390,000 143,000 267,000
9 SEVEN NEWS Network 7 1,580,000 480,000 378,000 324,000 171,000 227,000
10 THE ONE - AUSTRALIA'S MOST GIFTED PSYCHIC Network 7 1,556,000 447,000 404,000 344,000 138,000 224,000
11 HOLE IN THE WALL Network 9 1,545,000 440,000 417,000 308,000 188,000 191,000
12 BORDER SECURITY (R) Network 7 1,489,000 417,000 371,000 306,000 155,000 240,000
13 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Network 9 1,478,000 345,000 517,000 329,000 187,000 99,000
14 THE FORCE - BEHIND THE LINE (R) Network 7 1,469,000 418,000 398,000 276,000 149,000 228,000
15 TODAY TONIGHT Network 7 1,402,000 426,000 348,000 258,000 158,000 212,000
16 SPICKS AND SPECKS Network ABC1 1,378,000 423,000 390,000 266,000 136,000 163,000
17 BATTLE OF THE CHOIRS Network 7 1,377,000 393,000 397,000 263,000 145,000 179,000
18 CITY HOMICIDE (R) Network 7 1,367,000 391,000 417,000 249,000 126,000 183,000
19 HOME AND AWAY Network 7 1,355,000 429,000 326,000 262,000 145,000 193,000
20 ANIMAL EMERGENCY Network 9 1,354,000 348,000 390,000 294,000 172,000 150,000
21 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Network 9 1,320,000 381,000 370,000 272,000 158,000 140,000
22 CRIMINAL MINDS (R) Network 7 1,318,000 387,000 375,000 222,000 145,000 189,000
23 WIPEOUT -RPT Network 9 1,300,000 386,000 398,000 191,000 172,000 153,000
24 ALL SAINTS Network 7 1,291,000 367,000 388,000 241,000 139,000 155,000
25 TWO AND A HALF MEN -TUE Network 9 1,270,000 356,000 410,000 210,000 137,000 157,000
26 NINE NEWS Network 9 1,234,000 306,000 396,000 261,000 143,000 127,000
27 A CURRENT AFFAIR Network 9 1,232,000 331,000 381,000 259,000 148,000 113,000
28 FOYLE'S WAR Network ABC1 1,215,000 382,000 331,000 217,000 139,000 146,000
29 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D1 AFTERNOON Network 7 1,205,000 362,000 346,000 241,000 128,000 129,000
30 GETAWAY Network 9 1,200,000 362,000 332,000 217,000 165,000 123,000
31 MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL - THE FINAL 14 Network 7 1,182,000 405,000 306,000 219,000 98,000 154,000
32 ABC NEWS-SU Network ABC1 1,182,000 311,000 379,000 223,000 122,000 147,000
33 CRIMINAL MINDS - MON (R) Network 7 1,173,000 343,000 375,000 182,000 125,000 147,000
34 DAVID ATTENBOROUGH'S LIFE OF MAMMALS Network 9 1,160,000 316,000 345,000 216,000 146,000 136,000
35 ABC NEWS Network ABC1 1,153,000 324,000 367,000 206,000 110,000 146,000
36 THE NEW INVENTORS Network ABC1 1,152,000 331,000 339,000 219,000 140,000 122,000
37 M-TOUCHING THE VOID (R) Network 7 1,149,000 322,000 359,000 135,000 126,000 205,000
38 COLD CASE Network 9 1,126,000 297,000 375,000 186,000 136,000 132,000
39 NCIS EP 2 RPT Network TEN 1,112,000 284,000 348,000 177,000 150,000 153,000
40 CSI: MIAMI -RPT Network 9 1,108,000 306,000 338,000 204,000 139,000 122,000
41 ROVE Network TEN 1,094,000 327,000 332,000 200,000 107,000 129,000
42 THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE RPT Network TEN 1,085,000 327,000 346,000 172,000 131,000 109,000
43 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D1 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,071,000 353,000 333,000 177,000 108,000 101,000
44 DOCTOR WHO Network ABC1 1,061,000 360,000 251,000 231,000 102,000 116,000
45 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Network TEN 1,045,000 292,000 348,000 182,000 90,000 133,000
46 MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL - WED Network 7 1,044,000 358,000 269,000 198,000 80,000 139,000
(OzTAM mainland capitals)

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in whoweare-index at 05:14 AM
• Comments (69)

The Tribal Mind: The prophecy buster

To learn why New Zealand should become part of Australia, go to Who We Are.

by David Dale
This column is getting out of the predictions business. Blame Batman -- well, The Joker, really -- for throwing off our calculations. I hereby confess to underestimating the intelligence of the Australian moviegoer. I did not foresee the dawning of The Age of the Brainy Blockbuster.

Last year this column said no film would ever again earn more than $40 million in Australian cinemas, because the passion has gone from our relationship with The Movies. People just don't revisit the multiplex for a second look at the latest fad nearly as often as they did in the Titanic era.

Two weeks ago I compounded that folly by asserting that The Dark Knight would sell fewer tickets than Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, because it is too thoughtful and too demanding. My thinking was influenced by disappointment that Iron Man, a smart re-imagining of the superhero genre, sold only $20 million worth of tickets, while the cliche cluster that is IJ4 made $29.5 million.

Then The Dark Knight makes a monkey's uncle out of me by earning $34 million in three weeks, which means it has already been seen by more than three million Australians (or three million times by one very rich geek). It is about to join this record-breaking elite ...

The highest grossing films of all time in Australia: 1 Titanic (1997) $58 million; 2 Shrek 2 (2004) $50m; 3 The Return of the King (2003) $49m; 4 Crocodile Dundee (1986) $48m; 5 Fellowship of the Ring (2001) $47m; 6 The Two Towers (2002) $46m; 7 Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001) $42m; 8 Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace (1999) $39m; 9 Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006) $38 m; 10 Babe (1995) $37m. (For the full list, go to The films Australia loved.)

Next week The Dark Knight will bump Babe from tenth spot on that chart. A week later, it will bump SW1 from Number 8. Will it go on to pass the unreachable $40m? Don't ask me. I'm out of the predictions business.

As corny as IJ4 may be, it has at least contributed a new term to the language of entertainment analysis. You are familiar, I'm sure, with "Jump the shark", which describes what happens to a TV series when the writers become so desperate to recapture lost audience they introduce obvious gimmicks. Now we have the cinema equivalent: "Nuke the fridge''.

Here's the definition from Urban Dictionary: "A colloquialism used to delineate the precise moment at which a cinematic franchise has crossed over from remote plausibility to self parodying absurdity, usually indicating a low point in the series from which it is unlikely to recover. A reference to one of the opening scenes of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, in which the titular hero manages to avoid death by nuclear explosion by hiding inside a kitchen refrigerator.

"Sample usage: 'Man, when Peter Parker started doing the emo dance in Spider-Man 3, that franchise officially nuked the fridge'."

Go to comments to tell us about the nuke the fridge moments in other movies.

Footnote: Last week this column asked for reader input on who are the most f---able people on Australian television. We are curently processing the 135 responses we received -- including a surprisingly negative reaction to Natalie Bassingthwaighte, even before she performed Advance Australia Fair for Kevin Rudd -- and we'll bring you the consensus in two weeks (next Monday's column needs to deal with the latest magazine circulation figures). Meanwhile you can still contribute to The Desirability Index by going here.

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 04:40 PM
• Comments (12)

The Who We Are Update: Week 32

This week of the blog is now a heritage item -- worth studying but no longer current. For the latest discussion, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss the most desirable people on Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind.
To learn why New Zealand should become part of Australia, go to Who We Are.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Sunday
On Friday night an average of 3.3 million people in the mainland capitals watched the opening ceremony between 10 pm and 2am. Seven reports that the peak audience was 4.4 million early in the coverage, and 2.5 million were still watching when the Australians marched in at the end of the event.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 2,218,000 683,000 621,000 448,000 187,000 280,000
2 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D1 PRIMETIME Network 7 2,214,000 719,000 553,000 476,000 201,000 265,000
3 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D1 FRINGE Network 7 1,717,000 541,000 494,000 330,000 166,000 187,000
4 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D1 AFTERNOON Network 7 1,205,000 362,000 346,000 241,000 128,000 129,000
5 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D1 LATE NIGHT Network 7 1,071,000 353,000 333,000 177,000 108,000 101,000
6 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,033,000 254,000 296,000 233,000 145,000 104,000
7 BEIJING OLYMPICS: D1 LATE MORNING Network 7 1,030,000 250,000 358,000 155,000 134,000 133,000
8 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 886,000 194,000 250,000 212,000 117,000 114,000
11 THE BILL-EV Network ABC1 726,000 243,000 182,000 120,000 86,000 96,000
12 SATURDAY NIGHT AFL Network TEN 650,000 82,000 334,000 31,000 73,000 130,000
21 SATURDAY AFTERNOON AFL Network TEN 417,000 44,000 200,000 43,000 80,000 51,000
26 BEIJING 2008: MENS CYCLING ROAD RACE Network SBS 347,000 110,000 124,000 48,000 37,000 28,000
31 BEIJING 2008: WOMENS FOOTBALL SWE V ARG Network SBS 300,000 109,000 92,000 52,000 30,000 16,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

What Australia watched, Friday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 BEIJING OLYMPICS: OPENING CEREMONY Network 7 3,307,000 1,007,000 1,028,000 444,000 356,000 473,000
2 M-TOUCHING THE VOID (R) Network 7 1,642,000 501,000 561,000 212,000 162,000 205,000
3 SEVEN NEWS Network 7 1,432,000 474,000 345,000 302,000 185,000 126,000
4 NINE NEWS Network 9 1,300,000 301,000 394,000 256,000 129,000 220,000
5 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Network 9 1,284,000 335,000 348,000 320,000 154,000 127,000
6 A CURRENT AFFAIR Network 9 1,244,000 301,000 348,000 266,000 158,000 171,000
7 TODAY TONIGHT Network 7 1,001,000 412,000 324,000 265,000
8 COUNTDOWN TO BEIJING Network 7 984,000 657,000 327,000
9 ABC NEWS Network ABC1 983,000 301,000 280,000 160,000 100,000 142,000
10 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE FRI Network TEN 930,000 300,000 331,000 152,000 84,000 63,000
18 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 19: MELBOURNE VS GEELONG Network 7 716,000 441,000 155,000 119,000
19 NINE'S LIVE FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Network 9 708,000 424,000 283,000
29 SUNRISE Network 7 387,000 133,000 66,000 102,000 33,000 53,000
36 TODAY Network 9 301,000 91,000 111,000 57,000 18,000 24,000

The ratings race, updated 10 am Thursday
Just as a matter of historical record, Channels Seven and Nine go into the Olympic period neck and neck for the year. Seven will win the next two weeks, of course, but then the key question will be whether its victory for the year will be real or a hollow one which requires the inclusion of figures for the Olympic period. It does not look as if Make Me A Supermodel will be the saving of Seven in September.

For the week so far, Nine has 28.3 per cent of the prime time audience, Seven 27.7, Ten 20.1, ABC 18.6, SBS 5.3.

What Australia watched, Thursday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,586,000 487,000 358,000 349,000 170,000 222,000
2 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,394,000 446,000 321,000 270,000 152,000 206,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,354,000 396,000 325,000 256,000 182,000 195,000
4 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,260,000 351,000 358,000 247,000 169,000 134,000
5 GETAWAY Nine 1,199,000 362,000 332,000 218,000 164,000 123,000
6 MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL Seven 1,182,000 405,000 306,000 219,000 98,000 153,000
7 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,160,000 306,000 368,000 255,000 139,000 93,000
8 NINE NEWS Nine 1,155,000 282,000 385,000 232,000 151,000 105,000
9 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,130,000 324,000 348,000 212,000 89,000 158,000
10 THE FOOTY SHOW Nine 1,069,000 261,000 425,000 156,000 117,000 110,000
11 CSI: MIAMI -RPT Nine 1,051,000 273,000 340,000 179,000 140,000 118,000
12 LAW AND ORDER: SVU RPT Ten 991,000 279,000 303,000 156,000 129,000 124,000
13 JACK THE RIPPER: THE FIRST SERIAL KILLER ABC1 981,000 291,000 282,000 144,000 115,000 147,000
14 LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT Ten 980,000 268,000 302,000 191,000 102,000 117,000
16 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE THURS Ten 929,000 264,000 278,000 185,000 87,000 116,000
19 SEVEN'S BEIJING OLYMPICS: OLYROOS V SERBIA Seven 851,000 340,000 214,000 127,000 76,000 95,000
25 Q & A ABC1 541,000 197,000 150,000 81,000 62,000 50,000
26 BUILDINGS THAT SHAPED BRITAIN ABC1 521,000 142,000 169,000 81,000 69,000 60,000
33 SUNRISE Seven 354,000 116,000 75,000 93,000 26,000 45,000
44 TODAY Nine 300,000 99,000 92,000 59,000 20,000 29,000
54 THE BENNY HILL SHOW Seven 240,000 100,000 44,000 40,000 24,000 31,000

On Wednesday Seven paid the penalty for its silly scheduling of Heroes, which suddenly reappeared in a two hour "season finale" and managed to gather only 690,000 in the mainland capitals. You'd have to wonder why two of the show's stars would agree to come to Australia in September to promote a franchise that Seven has successfully stomped into the ground.

(Note: The woman in our picture is not Jennifer Hawkins but the much more interesting Ali Larter from Heroes)

What Australia watched, Wednesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 TWO AND A HALF MEN Nine 1,646,000 471,000 434,000 345,000 200,000 197,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,617,000 498,000 401,000 309,000 170,000 239,000
3 HOLE IN THE WALL Nine 1,555,000 443,000 421,000 311,000 189,000 191,000
4 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,389,000 444,000 362,000 227,000 150,000 206,000
5 SPICKS AND SPECKS ABC1 1,358,000 415,000 385,000 263,000 135,000 160,000
6 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,352,000 412,000 371,000 256,000 155,000 159,000
7 CRIMINAL MINDS (R) Seven 1,300,000 382,000 367,000 218,000 145,000 188,000
8 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,239,000 401,000 302,000 228,000 141,000 166,000
9 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,239,000 335,000 400,000 215,000 135,000 154,000
10 NINE NEWS Nine 1,170,000 325,000 374,000 241,000 133,000 98,000
11 THE NEW INVENTORS ABC1 1,144,000 329,000 336,000 216,000 142,000 121,000
12 COLD CASE Nine 1,133,000 298,000 377,000 189,000 136,000 133,000
13 MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL - WED Seven 1,065,000 364,000 272,000 202,000 85,000 142,000
14 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Ten 1,045,000 292,000 348,000 182,000 90,000 133,000
16 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,034,000 358,000 345,000 231,000 101,000
18 MCLEOD'S DAUGHTERS Nine 931,000 260,000 256,000 192,000 117,000 107,000
19 FREEZING ABC1 893,000 286,000 273,000 151,000 82,000 99,000
24 THE HOLLOWMEN ABC1 816,000 246,000 291,000 123,000 71,000 84,000
28 HEROES - WED Seven 690,000 186,000 226,000 100,000 91,000 86,000
38 SUNRISE Seven 344,000 106,000 69,000 86,000 30,000 53,000
44 TODAY Nine 293,000 97,000 91,000 59,000 18,000 28,000
What Australia watched, Tuesday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 THE ONE - AUSTRALIA'S MOST GIFTED PSYCHIC Seven 1,556,000 447,000 404,000 344,000 138,000 224,000
2 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,502,000 438,000 363,000 311,000 161,000 229,000
3 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,330,000 381,000 409,000 239,000 151,000 150,000
4 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,326,000 414,000 333,000 257,000 131,000 191,000
5 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,314,000 405,000 323,000 242,000 139,000 205,000
6 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,312,000 310,000 458,000 281,000 146,000 116,000
7 WIPEOUT -RPT Nine 1,297,000 386,000 397,000 190,000 171,000 153,000
8 ALL SAINTS Seven 1,290,000 367,000 388,000 241,000 139,000 155,000
9 NINE NEWS Nine 1,268,000 290,000 433,000 303,000 132,000 111,000
10 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,192,000 311,000 406,000 215,000 113,000 147,000
11 NCIS EP 2 RPT Ten 1,112,000 284,000 348,000 177,000 150,000 153,000
12 NCIS EP 1 RPT Ten 1,042,000 269,000 315,000 162,000 150,000 146,000
14 FAMILY FORTUNES ABC1 1,020,000 305,000 309,000 202,000 97,000 107,000
20 20 TO 1 -RPT Nine 871,000 290,000 283,000 132,000 84,000 82,000
34 RAMSAY'S BOILING POINT Seven 474,000 116,000 151,000 79,000 70,000 58,000
38 FIRST TUESDAY BOOK CLUB ABC1 384,000 138,000 139,000 37,000 39,000 30,000
44 HOW TO HAVE SEX AFTER MARRIAGE Nine 346,000 105,000 106,000 61,000 34,000 40,000
45 SUNRISE Seven 340,000 111,000 67,000 94,000 32,000 35,000
51 TODAY Nine 290,000 107,000 90,000 47,000 18,000 28,000
70 THE BENNY HILL SHOW Seven 199,000 72,000 41,000 36,000 28,000 22,000

What Australia watched, Monday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,719,000 502,000 421,000 347,000 171,000 278,000
2 THE FARMER WANTS A WIFE Nine 1,700,000 550,000 535,000 288,000 181,000 147,000
3 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,575,000 466,000 402,000 299,000 162,000 246,000
4 BORDER SECURITY (R) Seven 1,488,000 417,000 370,000 306,000 154,000 240,000
5 THE FORCE (R) Seven 1,465,000 418,000 395,000 276,000 149,000 228,000
6 HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,411,000 431,000 352,000 283,000 150,000 195,000
7 CITY HOMICIDE (R) Seven 1,368,000 392,000 417,000 250,000 125,000 183,000
8 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Nine 1,286,000 394,000 356,000 260,000 149,000 127,000
9 NINE NEWS Nine 1,259,000 335,000 396,000 268,000 161,000 99,000
10 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,255,000 371,000 383,000 264,000 147,000 90,000
11 ABC NEWS ABC1 1,222,000 349,000 399,000 229,000 115,000 132,000
12 CRIMINAL MINDS - MON (R) Seven 1,177,000 344,000 378,000 182,000 126,000 147,000
13 DAVID ATTENBOROUGH'S LIFE OF MAMMALS Nine 1,161,000 318,000 346,000 216,000 146,000 136,000
14 TOP GEAR SBS 1,042,000 308,000 351,000 155,000 114,000 115,000
16 AUSTRALIAN STORY ABC1 897,000 304,000 241,000 192,000 70,000 89,000
18 GOOD NEWS WEEK Ten 874,000 309,000 251,000 115,000 102,000 97,000
20 AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL MON Ten 828,000 228,000 298,000 129,000 78,000 95,000
21 FOUR CORNERS ABC1 797,000 266,000 206,000 165,000 79,000 81,000
24 ENOUGH ROPE WITH ANDREW DENTON ABC1 752,000 247,000 225,000 143,000 65,000 73,000
29 BOSTON LEGAL Seven 630,000 211,000 189,000 94,000 79,000 58,000
30 BURN NOTICE MON Ten 609,000 183,000 190,000 87,000 82,000 66,000
42 MARK LOVES SHARON Ten 306,000 97,000 102,000 32,000 39,000 36,000
47 30 ROCK Seven 294,000 113,000 78,000 40,000 38,000 26,000

The ratings race, updated 6pm Sunday
Wouldn't it be ironic if Channel Seven actually lost audience share as a result of its saturation coverage of the Olympics? Seven goes into the Olympics slightly ahead for the year, but what if Australians rapidly tire of screaming crowds, dancing dragons and medal ceremonies without Australian athletes?

The other networks are doing their best to help Seven by giving up the fight during the Olympic fortnight, scheduling repeats and duds instead of launching the exciting new series they keep boasting about. But even repeats of Thank God You're Here may be preferable to Why Are We There?

Seven won last week, with 29.4 per cent of the prime time audience, thanks to The Force (1.7m in the mainland capitals), a repeat of Border Security , RSPCA Animal Rescue and the Monday to Friday news, but Nine managed 27 per cent with the help of 60 Minutes (1.7m), Nine news Sunday and Domestic Blitz .

The ABC scored 18.1 per cent with The Gruen Transfer , Spicks and Specks , and Foyle's War, while Ten got 20 per cent even though its only entries in the Top 40 were a repeat of Thank God You're Here and a repeat of NCIS (1.2m).

On SBS, Top Gear drew 938,000 and a repeat of Food Safari drew 392,000, while on Pay TV, NRL Cowboys V Roosters drew 307,000 to Fox Sports 2, NRL Sharks V Dragons drew 263,000 to Fox Sports 2, a repeat of Family Guy on Fox 8 got 187,000 and Project Runway Australia on Arena got 175,000.

What Australia watched, Sunday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 60 MINUTES Nine 1,751,000 501,000 507,000 355,000 175,000 213,000
2 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Seven 1,606,000 359,000 447,000 390,000 143,000 267,000
3 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Nine 1,476,000 345,000 518,000 329,000 186,000 98,000
4 BATTLE OF THE CHOIRS Seven 1,377,000 393,000 397,000 263,000 145,000 179,000
5 ANIMAL EMERGENCY Nine 1,348,000 347,000 390,000 293,000 170,000 149,000
6 FOYLE'S WAR ABC1 1,215,000 382,000 331,000 217,000 139,000 146,000
7 CSI: MIAMI -RPT Nine 1,195,000 347,000 340,000 237,000 141,000 130,000
8 ABC NEWS-SUN ABC1 1,182,000 311,000 379,000 223,000 122,000 147,000
9 ROVE Ten 1,102,000 329,000 333,000 202,000 108,000 129,000
10 THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE RPT Ten 1,085,000 327,000 346,000 172,000 131,000 109,000
11 ABC NEWS UP-DATE ABC1 1,065,000 337,000 294,000 173,000 134,000 127,000
12 DOCTOR WHO ABC1 1,064,000 361,000 252,000 232,000 102,000 116,000
13 THANK YOU Seven 1,001,000 263,000 248,000 227,000 100,000 163,000
14 AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL Ten 955,000 282,000 288,000 188,000 99,000 99,000
15 DOCTOR WHO: CONFIDENTIAL CUTDOWN-EV ABC1 853,000 292,000 208,000 157,000 92,000 104,000
20 DEXTER Ten 688,000 154,000 260,000 105,000 78,000 91,000
24 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 18: ST KILDA VS PORT ADELAIDE Seven 484,000 9,000 310,000 9,000 140,000 16,000
25 NINE'S SUNDAY FOOTBALL Nine 467,000 228,000 239,000
31 THE FORBIDDEN CITY SBS 313,000 72,000 114,000 57,000 38,000 32,000
46 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 18: FREMANTLE VS WEST COAST Seven 218,000 218,000
47 AFL GAME DAY Seven 217,000 132,000 42,000 43,000
48 WWE AFTERBURN Nine 214,000 53,000 79,000 45,000 23,000 14,000
51 TRINNY & SUSANNAH UNDRESS Seven 211,000 91,000 43,000 43,000 34,000
52 SCRUBS (R) Seven 209,000 69,000 69,000 39,000 32,000
58 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 18: WESTERN BULLDOGS VS SYDNEY Seven 189,000 94,000 42,000 53,000
(OzTAM preliminary estimates, mainland capitals)

What Australia watched, week ending August 2
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 60 MINUTES Network 9 1,667,000 517,000 442,000 321,000 177,000 211,000
2 THE FORCE Network 7 1,662,000 437,000 442,000 368,000 160,000 255,000
3 NINE NEWS SUNDAY Network 9 1,627,000 539,000 463,000 303,000 204,000 118,000
4 BORDER SECURITY (R) Network 7 1,616,000 482,000 404,000 362,000 131,000 236,000
5 RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE Network 7 1,584,000 454,000 378,000 337,000 186,000 230,000
6 SEVEN NEWS Network 7 1,558,000 438,000 391,000 327,000 173,000 229,000
7 SEVEN NEWS - SUN Network 7 1,552,000 418,000 366,000 373,000 168,000 227,000
8 DOMESTIC BLITZ Network 9 1,551,000 523,000 412,000 295,000 175,000 145,000
9 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Network 7 1,544,000 464,000 446,000 263,000 156,000 215,000
10 CITY HOMICIDE Network 7 1,533,000 438,000 445,000 278,000 153,000 219,000
11 MEDICAL EMERGENCY Network 7 1,506,000 435,000 362,000 303,000 180,000 226,000
12 THE FARMER WANTS A WIFE Network 9 1,492,000 443,000 464,000 296,000 147,000 143,000
13 WIPEOUT Network 9 1,482,000 426,000 468,000 238,000 192,000 158,000
14 THE GRUEN TRANSFER Network ABC1 1,450,000 471,000 472,000 237,000 133,000 137,000
15 THE ONE - AUSTRALIA'S MOST GIFTED PSYCHIC Network 7 1,449,000 410,000 392,000 304,000 131,000 213,000
16 CRIMINAL MINDS Network 7 1,425,000 392,000 438,000 248,000 163,000 183,000
17 MADE IN CHINA Network 7 1,399,000 382,000 355,000 324,000 131,000 205,000
18 TODAY TONIGHT Network 7 1,391,000 404,000 347,000 264,000 166,000 210,000
19 SPICKS AND SPECKS Network ABC1 1,387,000 405,000 461,000 262,000 133,000 126,000
20 CRIMINAL MINDS - MON Network 7 1,387,000 362,000 444,000 249,000 149,000 182,000
21 TWO AND A HALF MEN Network 9 1,384,000 401,000 426,000 249,000 162,000 146,000
22 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Network 9 1,360,000 376,000 377,000 372,000 141,000 94,000
23 BATTLE OF THE CHOIRS Network 7 1,322,000 390,000 429,000 242,000 118,000 143,000
24 TWO AND A HALF MEN -RPT Network 9 1,314,000 358,000 403,000 279,000 140,000 134,000
25 ALL SAINTS Network 7 1,310,000 410,000 408,000 204,000 136,000 153,000
26 CSI: MIAMI Network 9 1,303,000 347,000 402,000 253,000 159,000 143,000
27 GETAWAY Network 9 1,301,000 404,000 369,000 246,000 123,000 160,000
28 HOME AND AWAY Network 7 1,280,000 407,000 294,000 250,000 135,000 193,000
29 THE CELEBRITY SINGING BEE Network 9 1,274,000 417,000 388,000 190,000 121,000 158,000
30 DAVID ATTENBOROUGH'S LIFE OF MAMMALS Network 9 1,259,000 387,000 363,000 228,000 136,000 145,000
31 NINE NEWS Network 9 1,238,000 329,000 399,000 262,000 130,000 118,000
32 CRIMINAL MINDS (R) Network 7 1,230,000 309,000 412,000 216,000 133,000 161,000
33 GHOST WHISPERER Network 7 1,204,000 381,000 291,000 242,000 142,000 148,000
34 A CURRENT AFFAIR Network 9 1,202,000 325,000 396,000 249,000 115,000 117,000
35 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Network 7 1,200,000 322,000 313,000 231,000 110,000 224,000
36 THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE RPT Network TEN 1,192,000 369,000 361,000 189,000 138,000 136,000
37 FOYLE'S WAR Network ABC1 1,188,000 378,000 354,000 177,000 119,000 161,000
38 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Network 9 1,169,000 268,000 361,000 282,000 92,000 166,000
39 BONES Network 7 1,166,000 318,000 341,000 224,000 143,000 139,000
40 NCIS EP 2 RPT Network TEN 1,162,000 323,000 345,000 186,000 167,000 141,000
41 NCIS EP 1 RPT Network TEN 1,162,000 315,000 339,000 214,000 144,000 149,000
42 ABC NEWS Network ABC1 1,157,000 325,000 370,000 205,000 110,000 148,000
43 ABC NEWS-SUN Network ABC1 1,081,000 342,000 301,000 172,000 114,000 152,000
44 CSI: NY Network 9 1,081,000 303,000 332,000 179,000 151,000 116,000
45 ENOUGH ROPE WITH ANDREW DENTON-LE Network ABC1 1,080,000 351,000 366,000 131,000 105,000 127,000
46 DOCTOR WHO Network ABC1 1,039,000 380,000 224,000 215,000 94,000 128,000
(OzTAM mainland capitals)

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind, in whoweare-index at 06:23 PM
• Comments (80)

WHO WE ARE: How to become younger, sexier, smarter

To discuss the dawning of The Age of the Brainy Blockbuster, go to The Tribal Mind

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 10/8/2008
Two sightings could be a coincidence. But three sightings is a trend, a movement, a cultural shift, a tipping point in the zeitgeist. And that is what's happening this year with Brand New Zealand. It's so hot right now that Australia needs to move fast to make the offer of national amalgamation. Letting the Kiwis become one state of Australia is not going to be enough. They're getting so big for their boots they may not even be satisfied with two states.

Recently the ABC's most popular program, Spicks and Specks, held a contest between music experts from New Zealand and music experts from Australia. Guess who won? Then the ABC's second most popular program, The Gruen Transfer, commissioned two ad agencies to develop a campaign to sell the idea of Australia invading and absorbing New Zealand, followed by a campaign designed to divert world tourists from Australia to NZ.

And while that was going on, Channel Ten was showing The Flight of the Conchords, a US hit series about two musicians trying to succeed in New York. One plotline involved the boys being refused service at a fruit cart because they were New Zealanders. Asked to explain this racism, the cart owner said he hated convict dingo-lovers. Oh, you're mistaking us for Australians, said the Conchords. The cart owner softened immediately, gave them free fruit, and joined them in making rude gestures outside the Australian consulate.

Although Aussies tend to talk about Kiwis the way the English have traditionally described the Irish, The French discuss the Belgians and the Americans discuss the Canadians, the Kiwis actually consider themselves our intellectual superiors. The former NZ Prime Minister Robert Muldoon remarked that every time a New Zealander moves to Australia, it raises the average IQ of both countries. He cleverly packaged the notion that Australians are dumb with the notion that you'd have to be stupid to leave New Zealand. We can't test the second proposition, but the Bureau of Statistics has recently provided some clues on the first.

According to the "International Comparisons" section of the bureau's Social Trends report for 2008, 21.5 per cent of the NZ population and 19.5 per cent of the Australian population are under the age of 15. So they're younger than us. They're also having more unprotected intercourse - NZ's fertility rate is 2 babies per woman, compared to our 1.8.

The real comparison comes in the literacy testing done in high schools last year. On reading skills, Australian teenagers scored 514, Kiwi teens scored 521. On mathematical literacy, it was A 520, NZ 522. And on scientific literacy, it was A 527, NZ 530.

Clearly the addition of 4 million Kiwis to Australia's population would make us younger, sexier and smarter (as well as letting us claim Sam Neill as an Australian actor and Lord of the Rings as a great Australian trilogy).

So we'll need to offer them three states. And we'd better start practising to make them welcome. Say after me: "Buy some fush 'n' chups for the cet in the het".

To discuss the amalgamation of Australia and New Zealand, go to Comments

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in whoweare-index at 04:42 PM
• Comments (4)

The Tribal Mind: Looks aren't everything, but they're way ahead of whatever's in second place

To discuss the urban myths and scandals of Sydney, go to Who We Are

by David Dale

Although this column's subject matter is popular culture, that doesn't mean it is shallow. When we declare that today's topic is the best-looking people on television, you will understand that our purpose is deep and serious. Physical appearance matters in the media (except on blogs, mercifully). Jobs can be lost with a single wrinkle and saved with a single act of surgery.

In Hollywood they have a term for what they consider the essential quality in a performer or presenter. A forum in the intellectual magazine Salon discussed this recently: "One of the prime qualities a leading movie star must have is f---ability ... Do you honestly think that it's talent alone that puts them into 'leading' category, as opposed to 'character actor'. Falling in love with the hero or heroine of the movie is often what it's all about. If that doesn't happen for you, then the movie won't work for you."

Apparently f---ability is a combination of good looks and that elusive quality called Presence. Salon suggested that the reason Ellen Page did not win the Best Actress Oscar this year for Juno might have been that she lacked f---ability (despite playing a girl who was pregnant throughout the film, which is only ironic if you take the term too literally).

The term has entered the vocabulary of our own industry. The news director of Channel Nine, John Westacott, is alleged to have told his staff last year: "To make it in this industry, you gotta have f---ability".

This column eschews linguistic crudeness as energetically at it eschews intellectual shallowness, so we are going to use a D word instead of an F word, and try to test the Westacott Theory by developing a "Desirability Index" for Australian television.

Exactly two years ago, with the help of readers, we came up with a shortlist of TV's best-looking people that included Jennifer Hawkins, Erika Heynatz, Deborah Hutton, Evangeline Lilley, Eva Longoria, Juanita Phillips, Naomi Robson, Sandra Sully, Jana Wendt, and Tom Williams. Sadly, some of those people are no longer on television or no longer so attractive.

So we need your advice on an update we are compiling with the help of a panel of persons of all sexual orientations. Consider this a work in progress ...

The most desirable people on Australian television, 2008:
Local Division
Natalie Bassingthwaighte (So You Think You Can Dance Australia)
Chris Bath (Seven news)
Mark Ferguson (Nine news)
Liz Hayes (60 Minutes)
Jeremy Lindsay Taylor (Sea Patrol)
Daniel McPerson (City Homicide)
Brendan Moar (Lifestyle's Moar Gardening)
Matt Passmore (McLeod's Daughters)
Bridget Taylor (The Gruen Transfer)
Julia Zemiro (Rockwiz).
The obvious omission from this list is Sonia Kruger, who is only missing because Dancing with the Stars hasn't been on yet.
International division
David Boreanaz (Bones)
Patrick Dempsey (Grey's Anatomy)
Tina Fey (30 Rock)
Evangeline Lilly (Lost)
Eva Longoria (Desperate Housewives)
Jesse Spencer (House)
Kate Walsh (Private Practice)
Matthew Settle (Gossip Girl)
David Tennant (Doctor Who)
Olivia Wilde (House).

Tell us who we've missed and misjudged by going to Comments. We'll use your input to develop a final list of the most desirable people on television, and scientifically correlate that with the success of their shows, thereby testing the Westacott Theory on f---ability.

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 03:06 PM
• Comments (155)

WHO WE ARE: Myth congeniality

To discuss the most desirable people on Australian television, go to The Tribal Mind.
For regular updates on Australian attitudes, bookmark blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 3/8/2008
Well, the joke's on us. What we'd dismissed as an urban myth turns out to have been true all along. It makes you wonder how many other classic pieces of Sydney scuttlebutt might also be reliable.

I'm talking about the rumour, passed around for years, that the NSW Premier and the NSW Police Commissioner were each receiving $5000 a week in a brown paper bag for taking no action against illegal gambling casinos. I was one of those who scoffed that it was too fantastic a conspiracy theory, even for a crooked capital like Sydney.

Last week Alan Saffron, son of the dead entrepreneur Abe Saffron, declared that it was an accurate portrait of NSW politics in the early 1970s. In his book Gentle Satan, he also confirmed the suspicion that many horseraces of the time were fixed, sometimes as a "courtesy" to the premier. It was the most significant reality check since the courts proved the NSW minister for corrective services really was taking money to let certain prisoners out early.

Sydney is the urban myth capital of Australia, if not the world. Visitors often observe that Sydney people have only two topics of conversation: real estate and malicious rumours about the rich and famous.

The habit of scandalmongering goes back to convict days, when the only way the inmates of the prison colony could get back at their jailers was to spread tales about their greed, perversion and hypocrisy. We all know what's going on between Governor Phillip and Bennelong, don't we? Those rages that Governor Macquarie keeps having - they're caused by syphilis. Everyone knows why these dreadful buildings are going up around the Harbour - Francis Greenway is in the pocket of the developers. What is John Macarthur doing out there at Parramatta with all those sheep?

And so it continued through to the 1990s, when I was writing a daily newspaper column and regularly received calls from people who knew cousins of the best friends of people closely connected to bizarre scandals. I became familiar with such Sydney characters as ...

The businessman who had won his knighthood in a poker game with the premier.
The former politician who had turned gay with a violinist from the Sydney Symphony Orchestra.
The lawyer who had strangled his ex-girlfriend's cat because she refused to resume their relationship.
The actress who was born a hermaphrodite and would have have been an actor if the obstetricians had made a different surgical decision.
The former political leader who liked rough sex and who broke a prostitute's jaw in a hotel room.
The TV host who liked to lie under a glass topped coffee table while women stood on it and urinated.
The businessman who flew in a team of prostitutes from California, put them up in a posh Sydney hotel for a week, and then got too busy to avail himself of their services (which, incidentally, raises the question of what you might call such a gathering -- a fanfare of strumpets, a garden of hos, a jam of tarts, an anthology of pros?)
The planning minister who required any developer who met with him to bring a briefcase containing $70,000 and leave it behind when the meeting was over.
The drug squad officers who were reselling the drugs they confiscated and the arson squad officers who were setting the insurance fires they then had to investigate.

They are the campfire fables that bind the urban tribe together. Last week's Saffron revelations suggest some of them might be more than mischievous gossip. But a lot more people will need to die, and a lot more sons will need to write books, before we know for sure if Sydney really is Gotham-before-Batman.

To discuss this, go to Comments.

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in whoweare-index at 03:56 PM
• Comments (12)