WHO WE ARE: But what if we weren't here?

Wednesday May 9, 2007 04:08 PM

Who We Are

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A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 6/7/2008
In the movie It's a Wonderful Life, an angel shows a depressed Jimmy Stewart what the world would be like if he had never been born. It's a much grimmer place.

Australians are feeling a bit down at the moment, according to the latest Morgan poll, with a big drop in consumer confidence and only 48 per cent saying the country is "heading in the right direction". So I'm going to emulate the angel and update a list I started making at the turn of this century aimed at describing what the world would be like if Australia had never been born -- if there had been no large land mass for the Portuguese, Dutch, French and English to bump into when they sailed southwards ...

There would be no cure for 80 per cent of the world's stomach ulcers (WA's Barry Marshall and Robin Warren discovered that antibiotics kill a stomach bug called helicobacter).

Gwyneth Paltrow would have won the Oscar for playing Virginia Woolf in The Hours. She would have married Tom Cruise but then he'd have divorced her and married Katie Holmes.

The term "fatal shore" would refer to the east coast of Canada, where the British would have dumped surplus convicts.

The world's strangest animal would be the giraffe.

The Japanese would be free to hunt whales all over the Pacific (but there'd be a lot more ocean in which the whales could hide).

The most beautiful coral reef in the world would be in the Red Sea, off Egypt.

Olympic swimming events would include breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly and dog paddle, but no freestyle (originally called the Australian Crawl, in this universe).

Tina Arena, Natalie Imbruglia and Vanessa Amorosi would be big names on the Italian music charts.

There would be no rugby league and the world's best rugby team would be England.

Peach Melba would be known as peaches with strawberry sauce.

At least 60,000 more people would be deaf (Victoria's Graeme Clark developed the cochlear implant).

Liza Minelli would have married a different homosexual.

The Bee Gees would have recorded Stayin Alive, but not Spicks and Specks (which would not be the name of a TV show).

Morningtown Ride and The Carnival Is Over would have been early hits for Abba.

There would be no Fox network and hence no Simpsons.

AC/DC would refer only to electricity.

Timor and New Guinea would be part of Indonesia.

Californians would always win the World Surfing Championships.

There would be nobody in the world called Kylie, let alone Dannii.

The animal liberation movement would have no bible (Victorian bio-ethicist Peter Singer wrote Animal Rights and Human Obligations).

The only thing called a thong would be a form of underwear.

The British would have to carry their wine to parties in glass flagons, because there would be no cardboard casks.

The world's melanoma rate would be much lower.

Mt. Kosciuszko would be in Nepal.

Russell Crowe would have won an oscar for Gladiator, but never would have made The Sum of Us or Romper Stomper. Mel Gibson would have trained at the Julliard School, New York. He'd have made Lethal Weapon and Braveheart, but not Mad Max.

Pavlova would be indisputably a New Zealand creation.

The kiwi kiddy band The Wuggles would be a huge hit in America, as would a US sitcom based on the classic Auckland comedy Keth end Kum.

OK, now it's just getting silly, and we've barely begun. If you can think of any other ways the world would be different without Australia, go to Comments

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

COMMENTS

I can only add the classic joke told at last night's Rugby Test in Brissbane:
On the last day of the first week of creation, God sat down with the Archangels Gabriel and Micheal for a few beers and a barbeque and said: boys how'd we go.
Mick shrugged and said: you tell him, Gabe.
Gabe shook his head.
God said: I'm your father, you can tell me anything.
Mick: Well, we think you buggered it up. Over there you created Europe which will be plagued by war for 2000 years, then there's Africa - famine and corruption, Asia - colonisation, North America race and civil war and sitcoms, South America, poverty, Antartica nothing but bloody here - Australia you've given me everything, a reef, a rock, a harbour, cold beer, plenty of minerals to mine and sell - you've been so good to Australia, its unfair to the rest of the world.
God: Oh, ye of little faith, see these two rotten islands to the east here, I'm going to fill them with three million Kiwi arseholes.

by john 0rr on July 06, 2008 at 07:27 AM

Lovely idea for a column - if it weren't so fun I'd have to point out that personalities have very little to do with the achievement of a civilisation. Writing systems were developed simultaneously in China and Mesopotamia, calculus was discovered simultaneously by a Brit and a German, the electrical circuit simultaneously by a Brit and an American, and the theory of evolution is associated with Darwin only because his friend Wallace - who formulated the same theory at the same time - was such a good sport. Smallpox would have been defeated even without Fenner, the world flown around even without Kingsford-Smith, and a body of international law set up even without Evatt. The differences you list can't be on the assumption that our achievements wouldn't have taken place, but that they'd have happened elsewhere - so the most interesting item you mention is that our convict reputation would be shifted to Eastern Canada. The real question then is which country the world's seachange fantasies of pragmatic relaxed athleticism would attach themselves to. My guess is India, South Africa or Hawaii; lies in all three cases but no more so than's the case now.
Incidentally, Timor became part of Indonesia due to Portuguese history; West Papua because of Dutch history and Papua New Guinea a nation because of German and British history. Given the abuses in the West and the mismanagement in the east, it's hard to say which of Indonesia or Australia was the less responsible steward of the societies there, and our absence would have made hardly any difference (if that doesn't get the posts coming I have no idea what will). One iron guarantee you get from that is that hypocrisy and oppression would be at least as rife in a world without Australia as they are with it. It is a wonderful life, but there's continual, confused and usually anonymous sacrifice from a lot of people in working to make it so. That matters more than whether we invented the pavlova.

by Nicholas on July 06, 2008 at 02:02 PM

ERROR1: Rugby Leage was invented in Britain
ERROR2: The British carry their wine to parties in bottles, and at better parties frech bottles. The wine box really hasn't made much headway anywhere other than Australia.

DD asks: So what was the formation of the rugby league in Sydney in 1908 all about?

by David on July 06, 2008 at 07:31 PM

All you've mentioned was relative trivia. Now you've really depressed me!! Are we really that insignificant on the world stage?

by Luke R on July 06, 2008 at 08:39 PM

American women would have no aussie men to lust after.Trust me they love the accent and all the crap we can come up with.

by Chris Riches on July 06, 2008 at 11:15 PM

No budgie smugglers and no budgies to smuggle!!

by JB on July 06, 2008 at 11:20 PM

London's pubs would be shut for want of staff.

Chinese and Japanese industry would shut for want of iron and coal.

Cricket would be a game known for its civility and good sportsmanship.

The US would set off alone on its next pointless military campaign.

by Robert on July 07, 2008 at 12:32 AM

According to Google, Australians invented the following:
1838 Pre-paid postage
1843 Grain stripper
1856 Refrigerator
1874 The underwater torpedo
1876 Stump jump plough
1885 Telpahane
1879 Refrigeration
1889 Electric Drill
1894 First powered flight (box kite with engine)
1897 Differential gears
1902 Notepad
1903 Froth flotation process (to separate minerals from rocks)
1906 Feature film
1906 Surf life-saving reel
1907 First international ski tournament
1910 Humespun process (concrete pipes)
1912 The tank
1913 Automatic totalisator (for betting)
1917 Aspro
1922 Vegemite
1924 Car radio
1927 Speedo
1928 Flying Doctor Service
1930s - Nuclear Fusion (Mark Oliphant)
1934 Ute
1940 Zinc Cream
1942 Transverse folding stroller
1944 Antibiotic penicillin-
1945 The Hills Hoist
1952 Victor mower
1950s Lagerphone (musical instrument)
1950s Distance Measuring Equipment
1952 Atomic absorption spectrophotometer
1953 Solar hot water
1957 Flame ionisation detector
1957 Trousers with a permeant crease
1958 Black box flight recorder
1960 Plastic spectacle lenses
1961 Ultrasound
1965 Inflatable escape slide
1970 Variable rack and pinion steering
1970 Staysharp knife
1972 Orbital internal combustion engine
1972- Instream analysis (speed up metal anaysis)
1978 Plastic injection moulding software
1979 Race-cam
1979 Bionic ear
1982 The dual flush toilet
1980 Wave-piercing catamarans
1983 Winged Keel
1984 Frozen embryo baby
1984 Baby Safety Capsule
1986 Gene shears
1992 Multi-focal contact lens
1992 Supersonic combustion
1993 Scramjet -
1993 Underwater pc
1995 EXELGRAM (anti counterfeiting technology)
1995 - Jindalee Radar System
Hyshot Scramjet Engine -
errrr ... and
cervical cancer vaccine
etc

by Melly on July 07, 2008 at 12:35 AM

The Kiwis would bitch about the South Africans, and the South Africans would have to emigrate to England... no beaches, warm beer, and lousy fish & chips.
BTW, eastern Canada DID get convicts. They just keep it quiet because they're so bloody embarrassed about it.

by Kid Dingo on July 07, 2008 at 02:28 AM

The World would be a much sadder place without Australia. No visiting the best harbour in the World. No more cracking road trips with a hire car cutting across the deserted red desert. No more of the best pies in the World. No more stunning night desert night skies. No bushtucker man :( No more of some of the best music rock music in the World.
I can not believe Australians are down about their Country. I love visiting the place. The most spectacular and diverse scenery in the World with the freindliest people. I wonder if it is just the politicians you are down about? They are shit everywhere.
Anyway be proud of your wonderful Land.

by Colin - UK on July 07, 2008 at 06:54 AM

Wikipedia: Rugby league takes its name from what was initially a breakaway faction of the English Rugby Football Union (RFU) known as the Northern Rugby Football Union when established in 1895.

by David on July 07, 2008 at 08:14 AM

Nicholas: You take yourself very seriously, don't you?

by Diogenes on July 07, 2008 at 08:24 AM

Can't believe DD doesn't know that 1908 formation a rugby football league wasn't simply copying the earlier rugby split in Britain

by jonno on July 07, 2008 at 08:36 AM

What about bloody Two Up!?

by Greg on July 07, 2008 at 08:43 AM

The 'Centenary of League' celebrations in Australia this year is to mark when the 2 codes split in AUSTRALIA.

In 1895 the "Northern Rugby Football Union" was formed as a break away group in the North of the England.

by Jan on July 07, 2008 at 09:09 AM

What do you mean no Rugby League? - the code was established in England in 1895, a full 13 years before it came here!!!!!!! AFL on the other hand would not exist

by B Beaumont on July 07, 2008 at 09:22 AM

I found a major error in your article:
Nicole Kidman (NOT Gwyneth Paltrow) won the Oscar for playing Virginia Woolf in The Hours.

DD replies: Yes, that was my point. The article is about what the world would be like if there was no Australia.

by Gustavo on July 07, 2008 at 09:30 AM

No Rolf Harris! The entire UK would go barmy for lack of entertainment!

by Timey Kangaroo-Downsport on July 07, 2008 at 10:15 AM

I think the greatest omission you have made is to the power of Australia's attatchment to the "Fair go".
This has had a dramatic effect on politics around the world. The secret ballot developed in South Australia and Victoria is still called the "Australian ballot" in the USA.
We also, along with NZ, were the first to emancipate women and give them the vote. Compulsory, preferential voting, the Electoral Commission, the Hare-Clarke multi-seat voting system are all major factors in keeping our democracy strong and responsible.
The shame is that not all countries, including those claiming to be highly democratic like the USA & UK, have followed though with all these reforms.

by PeterB on July 07, 2008 at 10:16 AM

The "map of Tassie" would have to be described by other more vulgar names.

by Spike on July 07, 2008 at 10:37 AM

B Beaumont -- AFL not existing would be a godsend for this country.

by BS on July 07, 2008 at 10:52 AM

We Americans are crazy for The Croc Hunter. I truly do believe that our children would be in a different nature place if it weren't for the Croc Hunter. He is still one of the most popular kid shows in America

by Cookie McKinney on July 07, 2008 at 10:57 AM

Peter B showing us that the world would not miss arrogant aussies who believe that if it isn't done the Oz way it isn't any good.

by D Edna on July 07, 2008 at 10:59 AM

Err - "Australia's attatchment to the "Fair go"?

Does that include the stolen generation, white australia policy, poisoned waterholes, terra nullis etc etc

Sorry - When it comes to democratic reforms, secret ballots, votes for women etc, the Kiwis bet us to it, and also happened to extend it to those of indigenous heritage.

The Aussie concept of the "fair go" has always has caveats - sadly of a racial nature. The mentality is perfectly captured by the following quote "if Australia had never been born -- if there had been no large land mass for the Portuguese, Dutch, French and English to bump into when they sailed southwards ..."

Err - 40,000 years of historical amnesia anyone??

by DingoB on July 07, 2008 at 11:11 AM

A Brief History Of The History Of Rugby League
1400-1800: Many different types of football - rugby league’s ancestors - are played throughout Britain. Unlike modern soccer, most football games allowed handling the ball. There are records of football games being played in future league strongholds such as Hull, Huddersfield, Rochdale, Whitehaven, Workington and York.
1823 - William Webb Ellis, a pupil at Rugby School, allegedly picked up the ball and invented rugby. But there is no evidence to support this myth - even the 1895 Inquiry, which immortalised Ellis found no proof. Running with the ball became common in 1830s at Rugby School and Rugby School football became popular throughout the UK in the 1850s and 1860s.
1864 - The first rugby clubs formed in Leeds and Huddersfield, followed by Hull (1865), York (1868), followed by hundreds more in Cumbria, Lancashire and Yorkshire in the 1870s and 1880s.
1876 - Yorkshire Cup competition started for Yorkshire rugby clubs. Soon it attracts bigger crowds than the FA Cup Final.
1886 - Concerned at the growing dominance of the largely working-class northern clubs, the Rugby Football Union introduces strict amateur rules.
1893 - Yorkshire clubs propose allowing players to be paid six shillings ‘broken-time’payments when they miss work due to matches. RFU vote down proposal. Widespread suspensions of northern clubs and players begin.
1895 - Threatened with expulsion from the RFU if they cannot prove their amateurism, 21 leading Lancashire and Yorkshire clubs meet at the George Hotel, Huddersfield on 29 August 1895. They vote unanimously to form the Northern Rugby Football Union (NU) and allow broken-time payments.
1896 - Manningham of Bradford win first NU Championship.
1897 - To make the game more exciting, the NU abolishes the line-out and reduces value of all goals to two points. Tries worth three points. Batley beat St Helens in first Challenge Cup final.
1904 - First international match: England (3) Other Nationalities (9) at Wigan.
1906 - Modern rugby league is born when the number of players is reduced from fifteen to thirteen a side. Rucks and mauls after a tackle replaced by the play-the-ball.
1907 - Rugby league spreads to Australia and New Zealand. First New Zealand side, organised by A.H. Baskerville, tours Britain.
1908 - First Australian Kangaroo tourists visit Britain. Hunslet win ‘All Four Cups’a grand slam of all competitions.

http://www.napit.co.uk/viewus/infobank/rugby/superleague/history.php

by Guy on July 07, 2008 at 11:37 AM

Look, dingo - you wouldn't even have a handle if Australia didn't exist, now would you?
"Fair go" will always have its "but what about..." league following closely, but compared to many other places around the world, you could say we give it a fair go...

by Mixy on July 07, 2008 at 11:41 AM

What unbelievable arrogance to think that Australia counts for much of anything. Once again we have a much higher vision of our own self importance. With only 20 million people we think we can push the major economies around. Lets get real, our socialist self affacing mentality makes us a joke. Wake up Australia and get our sholders to the wheel and dont constantly expect Government to solve our problems

by Michael McGrath on July 07, 2008 at 11:47 AM

Yes the world may not miss us, but what they will miss is a good 50 year (if not greater) time lag in technology that we would have invented. Think about it, if we didn't exist, there'd be no fridge to bung our food in, no esky to replace the non-existent fridge, no penicillin to cure our ailments, no lifesavers to pull us out of the water and most importantly no cold beer/Sunday BBQ. All this won't evolve until some smart pup from New Zealand decides that there is more to life than sitting watching the sheep! And that may take some time...

by Alex on July 07, 2008 at 11:50 AM

Nicole Kidman was born in Hawaii, not Australia.

DD replies: Indeed, but if there had been no Australia, she would not have been conceived.

by J on July 07, 2008 at 11:52 AM

Most countries in the world would have to find another tree to plant in their millions; the worlds landscape would be vastly different without Australia's greatest export, the GUM TREE.

There is hardly a country in the world which hasn't taken to the eucalypt. In fact in some countries, it is now the dominant species.

Brazil, China, Madagascar, South Africa all produce more eucalypt timber than Australia!!

by Marakesh on July 07, 2008 at 11:55 AM

The biggest problem if australia didn't exist is simple - i would be a pom.

by Garry S on July 07, 2008 at 12:10 PM

No australia...no afl/rugby leage (thank god) the world would have only one real code - Football (soccer to those that dont exist - like santa clause)
Kiwi's would have to live in heaven forbid - new zealand...and no one would bag them out for saying foosh n chups etc.
Those from the united states of america would be infatuated with the rainbow warrior instead of Steve Irwin.
The world would not be graced with Harry's cafe de wheels, Oporto's Bondi burger and Athens would be even more populous. :-)

by TMontana on July 07, 2008 at 12:43 PM

Females wouldn't be able to refer to their down under area as "map of Tasmania"

by Chadi on July 07, 2008 at 12:45 PM

That was the formation in Australia not the invention in England which had its foundation in Huddersfield in 1895. It's a bit like the aussies thinking they invented vegemite (1922) which bears an uncannily similar name and recipe to the much older Marmite (1902).
(DD asks: So what was the formation of the rugby league in Sydney in 1908 all about?)

by Struth on July 07, 2008 at 01:06 PM

Who would make fun of the poms?

by Mike Henshaw on July 07, 2008 at 01:26 PM

DD asks: So what was the formation of the rugby league in Sydney in 1908 all about?
That's when rugby league STARTED in Australia, but David is correct, a purely English invention.

by jeff_nassif on July 07, 2008 at 01:46 PM

No, I don't take myself seriously, only life, and that's as it should be. Anyway, I must be pretty far gone if Diogenes is accusing me of seriousness - back in yer barrel, mate.

by Nicholas on July 07, 2008 at 01:46 PM

Lets not forget the Diggers!!, as much as the kiwis are apart of the ANZAC sprit.. i mean chruchill wouldnt have the australian troops to send to fights the turks.. just a few thousand new zealanders and the western front where would the pomms be with out us, we shot down the red baron.. even in world war 2 japan would have taken this great land for them selves and yanks would have lost the war in the pacfic, the pomms again would have lost to the germans in north africa.
and as mentioned we woundnt have pencillin, hills hoist the sydney harbour bridge or any of the stuff that makes australia THE GREATEST COUNRTY IN THE WORLD! screw the politics just be proud of this country im not even old enough to vote and i can tell you that john howard was an ebarassment to this country, and give rudd a chance after all isnt that waht aussies are all abotu, giving ppl chances??

by digger91 on July 07, 2008 at 02:07 PM

I or my doppleganger would be in Tipperary, Ireland or emigrated to New York. Wife or her doppleganger would be in Budapest or born in USA, which is where her parents would have fled from Hungary in lieu of the non-existent Great South Land; or shewould emigrated herself to New York. And we would have met there in New York and got married. Ain't life simple. Some other country would run about 4th or 5th in medal tally at Olympics. 2000 olympics would have been a dud somewhere. All the 9's say it's true.

by Rexx on July 07, 2008 at 02:18 PM

Pavlova would still exist, but it would be known as "thut dusurt wuth thuh cream in thuh muddle, 'ay".

by bigbill on July 07, 2008 at 02:40 PM

Without Australia, London would be suffering a shortage of Bar Staff!
PS Sydney is where my heart resides!

by Jason on July 07, 2008 at 02:54 PM

Digger 91 reminding us that in the aussie revisonist version of world history that without a few thousand Anzacs we would all be speaking German or Japanese and in the process myopically overlooking the contribution of millions of Russians, not to mention Americans, Canadians, Poles, Saffas, Kiwis African Carribeans, Africans, French, Norwegian, Belgian, Dutch, Yugoslav, Greek, Maltese, Indian, Burmese, Chinese, Indonesian and Phillipino nationals and all the ones I have forgotten to list.

by B Montgomery on July 07, 2008 at 03:14 PM

Who cares? Why do you Australians constantly feel the need to justify your existence? Or compare yourselves with the rest of the world? Wht is it that it's only in Australia the Mercer Quality of Living Index report makes the headlines?

Just so that you know, in Paris, London, LA, Moscow or Tokyo we don't care about knowing if we've dropped 2 places in the worldwide ranking of places where it's better to have a beer on the patio while the sun is at midday or whatever it might be.

We just don't need anything to make ourselves feel better. We simply go on with our life. And without any ridiculous complex of inferiority. Just be yourselves, get on with your lifes and stop that nonsense.

by Borisj on July 07, 2008 at 03:14 PM

A Prime Minister who held the world beer sculling record for many years. That's something to be proud of.

by Ross on July 07, 2008 at 03:20 PM

'Map of Tavarua' has a nice bikini line. (All 9's)

by TenWordLimit on July 07, 2008 at 03:29 PM

The saddest thing from cricket fans' point of view: Ashes would have never existed and Don Bradman (statistically the greatest sportsman ever) would have never been born (his parents met in Australia, even though his paternal family migrated from England)

by Adrian Halim on July 07, 2008 at 03:33 PM

Australia is a great place, but realistically the vast majority of the world doesn't really give two hoots about us or know anything about us, we are rather insignificant from a global perspective, apart from land mass I guess.

The reality... if Australia didn't exist, the world would be, for the most part, pretty much the same. On the bright side, unlike some countries, at least we can say it wouldn't be a better place without us.

On a side note, I think it's funny DD has to state the obvious to some of the other, rather dimwitted repliers.

by Sunboy on July 07, 2008 at 03:34 PM

I'm sorry but since when was penicillin discovered by an Australian? It was discovered by the Scottish doctor, Sir Alexander Fleming, in 1928. It was developed for common use as a medication by an Australian but not discovered by one!

by Sez on July 07, 2008 at 03:40 PM

To realise how insignificant Australia is on the world stage, spend a few weeks in the Northern Hemisphere like I've just done and despite reading newpapers & watching TV news almost every day, not a mention of Australia or anything Australian - nada, niente, rien!

by Brian on July 07, 2008 at 03:50 PM

UK would have lost their favourite TV programmes: Neighbours and Home & Away. Whoops, sorry maybe that is an argument against Australia, Sorry

by JS_Syd on July 07, 2008 at 04:02 PM

Sedan car championship that enticed Walkinshaw and Dane from UK.

by TenWordLimit on July 07, 2008 at 04:11 PM

There would be 3million Irish wondering where they would go with a holiday visa or where would they migrate
1 less reason for an Irish mother to cry.

by Mary on July 07, 2008 at 04:52 PM

An Aussie invented the ring pull can ... it doesn't get much more important than that ... just think of all the time we don't have to waste on can openers ...

by Penny Auburn on July 07, 2008 at 05:04 PM

Mmmm.... Lamingtons

by Wes on July 07, 2008 at 05:20 PM

1908 would be the formation of rugby league in Australia. Just like world existed prior to 1788, and democracy existed prior to the first sitting of Australian parliament the world was actually able – gasp – to set up rugby league prior to our involvement.

by BP on July 07, 2008 at 05:33 PM

Sez, according to the google search I did, (note: not PENICILLIN'):
'1944 Antibiotic penicillin- Produced by Howard Florey with help from a Pome named Ernst Chain.' [http://inventors.about.com/od/australianinvent/Australian_Inventions.htm]

by Melly on July 07, 2008 at 05:58 PM

As a 'trainee Aussie' I couldn't imagine a world without Australia - it beats living in grotty England any day.
If there was no Oz, there would be plenty of other countries lining up to make fun of England, it's easy to do.
No AFL - no loss there, sorry!
England wouldn't have had their best Olympics ever - Sydney.
Oh and Brian, you must have been watching the wrong tv channels - UK tv is packed with all things Australian - Brits are obsessed with this place - jealous probably.
Every country has its faults but this is a wonderful place and I'm very proud to be part of it.

by Polly on July 07, 2008 at 06:28 PM

Without Australia, the world might never have seen man's first steps on the moon!

by Al on July 07, 2008 at 07:21 PM

Fleming isolated a mould he called pennecillin which he found to have antibiotic properties - small scale stuff of a few grams.

Florey was able to develop a mass production process and hence saving millions from death by infection.

Sort of like Hargreaves and his powered box kites and the Wright brothers, but different

by PJD on July 07, 2008 at 07:39 PM

What would life be without the wonder of the Dreamtime, marsupials and Aunty Jack? I shudder to think.

by enide on July 07, 2008 at 07:43 PM

whats wrong if timor becomes part of indonesia? they now even poorer after declare their separation from indonesia..

by abc on July 07, 2008 at 08:10 PM

The world would not have to listen to the incesant Aussie whinger!!

by Brian on July 07, 2008 at 08:43 PM

I can't imagin life in the seventies and eighties without The Skyhooks, AC/DC, Bluegum Hotel and Mt Panarama.
Back in the Good Old Days
Sorry forgot Lang Park on Origin Night

by Neville on July 07, 2008 at 08:48 PM

No thought to aboriginees? Looks like if there were no Australia, we would definitely miss some more whites who abused and colonised Australia.

by suresh on July 07, 2008 at 09:13 PM

Two words..."Midnight Oil"

by funky and the jazzman on July 07, 2008 at 11:00 PM

So, when is DD going to come on here, suck it up, and admit he was plain wrong about Rugby League?

DD replies: Here I am, admitting I was plain wrong. It's reassuring to learn that biffo was not an Australian invention, but disturbing that NSW and Queensland became so obsessed with it.

by David McGregor on July 07, 2008 at 11:41 PM

What a dumb blog. Civilization was going on elsewhere and to think the invention void may not be filled is pretty arrogant and very American thinking. Like wise if Aus suddenly sank, there would be the usual outpouring of Blah blah around the world, in reality they would all be thinking "crap where will we get our coal, wheat, uranium etc from now!" Zoos could up their admission fees so you could view their rare lost Aust animals. No-one would mourn the loss of vegemite, the few Aust left around the world needing it would have to detox. And of course every anniversary date of the "loss of Aus" there would be a 45 sec blurb on the news of those Aussies left in other countries remembering what once was, you know by drinking till they chunder everywhere, painting their faces with half a pommy flag and yelling oi oi oi a lot. The world would go on.

by Kevin on July 07, 2008 at 11:50 PM

As one prior contributor noted - Oz counts for absolutely ZERO outside it's own shores and most definitely the big nada in the northern hemisphere.
Talk to anyone about Oz and your average Euro's /Yanks eyes just glaze over before you get the stock answer 'I'd just luv to visit but it's sooooo far away...'.'Maybe one day'. Yeah, sure...
Your average Yank (or even Non-Aussie for that matter) has no IDEA we were even IN ww1, ww2, Korea or Vietnam, let alone Afghanistan & Iraq. Each decade we dutifully volunteer to fight and die with frightening regularity for people who don't give a flying fig for us. They probably can't even find us on a map so please tell me, why do we do it?
We should be like Switzerland or Sweden, mind our own business and let them carry on ignoring us 'cos we certainly ain't getting any benefit from either trying to be noticed or by getting our soldiers killed in other nations wars.'
Err, where did you say you were from again - Austria wasn't it...?'

by Marc Lowe (ex Perth boy now in France) on July 07, 2008 at 11:53 PM

"DD replies: Here I am, admitting I was plain wrong. It's reassuring to learn that biffo was not an Australian invention, but disturbing that NSW and Queensland became so obsessed with it."

So, if the extremely well informed David Dale didnt know that rugby league was an English invention, what chance in hell has the average citizen of NSW or Qld have.
There seems to be this bizarre myth that rugby league is an Aussie game. Perhaps this myth is something that breeds the sheer ignorance many in this part of the country (NSW) have toward the only indigenous Australian game, Australian rules Football (AFL).

by Ryano on July 08, 2008 at 09:03 PM

And lest we forget Fred Hollows! A man who brought vision to many! Dick Smith and his helicopter hijinks, and nearly every bar in London would have bugger all staff!

by Zac on July 11, 2008 at 01:00 PM

DD, if Australia invented rugby league in Sydney in 1908, what were St Helens doing playing in the first Challenge Cup final in 1897?
Its called Wikipedia.

DD replies: Funny name for a kind of game.

by phil on July 13, 2008 at 11:56 AM

1856 Refrigerator
1879 Refrigeration
i can picture it now....
" hey mate come have a gander at this you-beaut cupboard i've built for me beer!"
"struth mate! thats bonza...... pity it's still warm."

by Anti on February 07, 2009 at 10:27 PM

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