The Sun-Herald

The Tribal Mind: Vive les differences

To discuss the best Australian movie ever made, go to Who We Are

by David Dale
We know they say port when they mean suitcase and togs when they mean cossies, but otherwise, Brisbane people are just a sunnier version of Sydney people, aren't they? We know they have a frontier mentality and money coming out their ears, but are Perth people intrinsically different from Adelaide people? They watch a weird kind of football and have cafes we want to copy, but does anything else distinguish Melburnians from Sydneysiders? Answers: no, yes and yes -- you need only look at their tastes in television.

Our topic today is regional differences. Australia is not supposed to have any that matter. But when you compare the top rated programs in each capital, you find a wealth of opportunities for speculation.

Sydney people, for example, love to see Melbourne people getting shot. The number one show in this town every week is Underbelly (which Melbourne is not allowed to see). Melburnians, by contrast, love to see waiters being sworn at. Their top show is Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, about which Brisbane couldn't give a flying f--- and other capitals are lukewarm.

The southerners are also much keener than the rest of us on Jamie At Home, with the politer London chef Jamie Oliver. And possibly as a consequence, The Biggest Loser gets its best ratings in Melbourne.

Perth people clearly worry that the country is about to be invaded by drug dealers, exotic diseases and bacteria-laden foodstuffs -- their favourite of the week is a repeat of Border Security. Brisbane and Adelaide compensate for their distance from the political and business action by being better informed - their most watched show each week is Seven's Sunday news.

The differences go deeper than the top spot. Melbourne and Sydney love the black comedy of Desperate Housewives, while other capitals prefer the grim determination of Sea Patrol (which fits with their paranoid passion for Border Security).

Can we reach a conclusion about Sydney's shallowness from the fact that it is much less interested in Andrew Denton's interviews than Melbourne and Adelaide, but keener on Gladiators (while Melbourne prefers the subtlety of So You Think You Can Dance Australia)? And Sydney was where the disastrous My Kid's a Star did best. But for all its glitz, Sydney has a domestic side - Better Homes and Gardens does better here than in any other capital.

While Melbourne loves The Simpsons, aristocratic Adelaide is the heartland for My Name is Earl (wanting to see how the other half lives?) as well as Samantha Who? and Good News Week. Adelaide is also the town that supports SCU: Surious Cresh Unut - which may be because they understand the New Zealand eccent better (get a South Australian to say fish and chips).

The pressure of all that mineral money must be getting to Perth people. They like The Real Seachange more than all the other capitals - and they can afford to take one.

Click on Comments to give us your interpretation of the national taste deviations.

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.