The Sun-Herald

The Tribal Mind: A multi-sex theory of programming

To discuss who should play Australia's first freedom fighter, go to Who We Are.
To nominate television's most annoying people and programs, go to The Bogies

by David Dale
There are four sexes in Australia: men, women, old folks and The Rich. If you want to be perfectly precise about it, you could divide the first two sexes into two sub-sexes: young men and women and middle-aged men and women. Then you'd have an impression of how the viewers are viewed by the programmers and advertisers who decide the content of Australia's favourite medium.

The four-or-six-sex-theory of Australian tastes explains why certain TV shows that appear to be flops are kept on by the TV stations. The various social segments consume entertainment very differently, which means there is no longer such a thing as a mass market. Successful programmers know how to play the niches. A program need only appeal to one of the sexes to justify a spot in the schedule. You may not like it, but as long as 700,000 members of one of the other sexes tune in and turn on once a week, it's a hit.

For example, the 770,000 people in the mainland capitals who watch Lost at 9.30 on Thursdays are mostly males aged 16-39, so it's the perfect environment to push computers, cars and mobile phones. The million who watch its rival, Kitchen Nightmares, are mostly wealthy women aged 25 to 54, so they'll be wanting not just a new kitchen but, with any luck, a new home.

Let's do a dissection of how Australians are consuming television at the moment. This is not through any vulgar curiosity about popular culture, which, according to the ABC, has been condemned by the Australian novelist, Peter Carey. We're doing this because it behoves every citizen to understand the way every other citizen behaves. In reading what follows, your motives are anthropological.

Before studying these charts, bear in mind that Old Folks means people over 55 and The Rich means people earning more than $80,000 a year (in Occupational Groups 1 and 2, to use the ratings jargon):

Men enjoy: The cricket; Underbelly; SYTYCDA; Family Guy; Terminator; The Force; The Simpsons; House; Top Gear; Lost; Numb3rs; Good News Week.

Women enjoy: So You Think You Can Dance Australia; Grey's Anatomy; Desperate Housewives; Bondi Rescue; RPA; House; Cashmere Mafia; The Biggest Loser; Brothers and Sisters; Samantha Who; Women's Murder Club: All Saints; Medium.

The rich enjoy: SYTYCDA; Underbelly; Spicks and Specks; Grey's Anatomy; Desperate Housewives; Kitchen Nightmares USA; CSI; RPA; Cashmere Mafia; House; Dirty Sexy Money; Jekyll.

Old folks enjoy: Doc Martin; Dalziel and Pascoe; Miss Marple; Lewis; Four Corners; RSPCA Animal Rescue; The Real Seachange; Border Security; A Year With The Royal Family; The Bill; The Zoo; It Takes Two.

As you see, the oldies mostly watch the ABC, which is convenient for the commercial stations because there's not a lot advertisers want to sell to over 55s. When they want to promote retirement villages, gardening products, and funeral arrangements, they'll buy time on It Takes Two, A Year With The Royal Family and The Real Seachange. Not that you're in a position to confirm this, because you'd never watch shows like that -- except for anthropological purposes, of course.

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). To discuss Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.