WHO WE ARE: Wankers, geeks, and dust sniffers

Wednesday May 9, 2007 04:08 PM

Who We Are

To learn why State governments should be abolished, go to The next big thing.
For background on popular culture, go to
The films Australia loved.
The TV shows Australia loved.
The music Australia loved.
The DVDs Australia loved.

A column about Australia, by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald 4/2/2007.
Anybody who goes to an art gallery is a wanker, right? There are 3.6 million wankers in Australia. Only geeks go to libraries, so this country has 5.4 million geeks. Dance performances are for poofs and fag-hags, and now we know Australia has 1.6 million people like that.

Outside of school projects, you wouldn't go sniffing dust in a museum unless you were a complete dag. Ring up 3.6 million as the national dag total. And anybody who has time to go wafting round a botanic garden needs to get a life - advice you must now offer to 5.4 million of your compatriots.

A survey released by the Bureau of Statistics under the catchy title Attendance at Selected Cultural Venues and Events challenges the conventional wisdom that Australia is a land of jocks and slobs. It turns out Australians are wankier, poofier, geekier and daggier than most of us imagined.

When I wrote about similar research back in 2002 (using the same introductory paragraph as I used here) the librarians got excited and reprinted my report in their journals. They'll be less inclined to celebrate this time. At the beginning of this decade, 38 per cent of Australians said they visited a library at least once a year. Now only 34 per cent say that.

That's not to say we're replacing scholarly pursuits with vulgar amusements: attendance at sporting events dropped from 46 per cent in 1999 to 44 per cent last year, with the main losers being tennis, motor sports, and cricket. Art gallery attendances have risen from 21 per cent to 23, museums from 20 to 23 and dance from 9 to 10. And the librarians may be consoled to learn that their remaining fans are loyal bordering on obsessive -- two thirds of whose who visit libraries do so more than six times a year, and a quarter of them go more than 20 times a year.

The Bureau drew these conclusions from interviewing people aged over 15 in 14,200 households. That's an enormous sample compared with the 3000 households from which television ratings are estimated. It enabled the bureau to dissect our leisure cholices thus:

HOW AUSTRALIA GOES OUT
Percentage of people over 15 who visit at least once a year ...
1. The cinema: 65 per cent. Peak attenders: women aged 15-24.
2. Sporting events: 44 per cent (of which AFL 16 per cent, horse racing 12, rugby league 9, motor sports 9, cricket 5, soccer 4). Peak attenders: men 18-24.
3 Zoos and aquariums: 36 per cent. Families with young children.
4 Libraries: 34 per cent. Women 35-44.
5 Botanic gardens: 34 per cent. Women 55-64.
6 Pop concerts: 25 per cent. Unmarried people 18-24.
7 Museums: 23 per cent. Families with young children.
8 Art galleries: 23 per cent. Women 45-64.
9 Theatre: 17 per cent. Women 45-64..
Continued here

10 "Other performing arts" (such as revues, variety shows and circuses): 17 per cent. Women 25-44.
10 Musicals and operas: 16 per cent. Women 45-64.
11 Dance performances 10 per cent. Girls 15-17.
12 Classical music concerts: 9 per cent. Women 55-64.

Some 12 per cent say they don't go out to any of the listed activities, even once a year, which means that only 1.7 million of us are couch potatoes. All in all, we may reach this conclusion: at least 15 million Australians are a diverse, active and charming bunch of sophisticates. Well, the female Australians, anyway.

We welcome your comments.

COMMENTS

Wankier-poofier-geekier- diggier...
not so bad as far as I'm concerned Guess What is missing the worse of any word?
TOLERANCIER-TOLERANTIER without even knowing it,we get squashed by everybody from everywhere and still maintaining THE STATUS QUO position with hardly any challenges....rrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRR

by Richard on February 03, 2007 at 06:35 PM

Less Australians using libraries. Are more Australians using the Internet to gain information they would normally have looked for in libraries?
Less Australians going to sports events. Are more Australians watching them on TV, or over the Internet?
And if the answer to both is 'yes' -- are Australians spending too much time at their computers, and getting obese while doing do?
The world needs to know, so back to the Bureau of Statistics.

by mere observer on February 03, 2007 at 10:27 PM

I wanted to read a bit more into your selected categories of attendance. Sport appears to be the only category where males are mentioned as a majority. Is it only females in this country who are making the effort to visit cultural events. Are our males just a glut of bloodthirsty boors on the couch? or is it just our working class roots that leads us to what we are today? If the majority of aussie males are so dull, wouldnt it make it easy for the Pauline Hansons and John Howards to manipulate us into their preferred democracy (sic dictatorships).

by Bloke on February 04, 2007 at 10:52 AM

Where are the men aged 25-65? What are they doing? Have they ceased to exist as a significant demographics?
Or perhaps they are all sitting down on there PC's and laptops playing games or searching the internet for those interests that peak there minds.
Perhaps they are no longer couch potatoes but instead some form of computer vegetable?
Or maybe there is a different answer. After all some one has to earn the money for to pay for the tickets and admission fees. Where do men men spend aged 25 - 65 spend most of there time? At work I think...

by Grant M on February 04, 2007 at 11:20 AM

Ha! This is why it has been so difficult for me to find an intelligent, cultured boyfriend - and believe me, I have *searched!!*. This empirical evidence suggests that Aussie men are indeed a bunch of sport-obsessed, uncultured and by extension unsophistocated boors... so it's off to Europe I go to find myself a life-partner...

by Matilda on February 04, 2007 at 11:29 AM

Aussie guys think they are great...only they know how to build houses and fix cars...

by dev on February 04, 2007 at 12:06 PM

Only build houses and fix cars? And thats a bad thing?
I knew a guy whose idea of a good life was to enjoy all the cultural pursuits and stay at home, while his wife worked and payed for the house and fixed the car. Considering men and women have different bodies ad hormones, wouldn't they also have different interests based on their physical build?
Build me a house anyday! Let my home be a personal art gallery and library and botanic gardens and cinema and resterant and....... and the car aint bad either :)

by Sana on February 04, 2007 at 12:36 PM

hello!!..what i meant is that aussie guys think that they are the only ones who know how to build houses and fix cars....( meaning the rest of the world dosent know how to build a house or fix a car..)

p.s: in the world today, building a house or fixing a car are not activites that draw awe...they are basically trade skills..comprendo??

by dev on February 04, 2007 at 12:59 PM

To the wise blog-edit team..
heres a great blog for ya....
which nationality guys do aussie girls like most??(excluding aussie guys)
my observation are as follows:
1.Afro-American
2.British
3.African and Carribbean

This is one of the big problems of Australia because these guys who aussie chicks like most are not regarded as socially acceptable partners(except British) by the wider aussie public..and so the confused aussie woman just nods like a zombie and goes along with public opinion...
i can see this problem and it is a MAJOR problem all over oz...

by curious on February 04, 2007 at 01:39 PM

Nice flippant use of inflammatory labels and stereotypes. Nice old cliches. Obvious point: library use is sliding because people get information from the internet, and the people that do use them do so for the free computers.
Every culture has a working class cultural element, we have had glorified, misguided pride in our deeply provincial attitudes and pushing the majority of our truly world class professionals overseas, or cutting them down if they stay. And perhaps people are realisng that there's more to life than the (fairly empty) 'Australian Dream' yes thats right theres more to life than owning a house, a car and watching sport. If your pathetic cliches were true Sydney would not even have one art gallery. Australians are more world orientated outwards now and they and prefer more cultural stuff, its a fact, not a facetious joke. Our interests are moving towards inside culture, because much of our own flyblown, dead dingo country bores us to death. If this is a threat move to Queensland.

by Guy on February 04, 2007 at 02:43 PM

What a grand bastion of inverse snobbery and philistineery is the tabliod media, would an intelligent article on this be too much to ask? This appeared in print too. Fairfax has gone tabloid and you wonder why your circulation keeps sliding?

by Bill on February 04, 2007 at 02:44 PM

theres a few missing categories;

- pub
- toilet
- horse races
- TAB

that might explain the misssing blokes

by kris on February 04, 2007 at 03:24 PM

Bill is right. I read SMH not because it is good, but because it is the best of a terrible bunch.
Yes there are millions of us who try to live in the opposite way that the moronic Australian media tries to make us.
But it is not easy doing this in Sydney.
And ladies, if you are having problems meeting a cultured man, it is probably you that is the problem.

by Wil on February 04, 2007 at 08:17 PM

" If the majority of aussie males are so dull, wouldnt it make it easy for the Pauline Hansons and John Howards to manipulate us into their preferred democracy (sic dictatorships).
* Posted by: Bloke at February 4, 2007 10:52 AM"

Ah, bloke, John Howard's party has control of the Senate and the House of Representatives. You know, er, like, total control and power? What do you think happened?
Was it really all the fault of some Tasmanian loggers who were scared of some scientists working out which bits of Tassie were important environmentally to save? Or were there a few more 'blokes' involved?

by Cath Stuart on February 05, 2007 at 03:37 AM

Do you think people are hungary for more LIVE entertainment such as Cabaret ? well boys, it's quite obvious where to find some lovely ladies now isn't it. Because they certainly arn't at the pub or club.

by Adam on February 05, 2007 at 10:38 AM

Many of the Australain males with any cultural talent or prospects have left the country, after all there is no support or recognition here for them.There is no real financial assistance or support for them to develop or earn a living. Overseas countries give our artists, musicians, etc more resepect, attention and opportunities.Why would they stay?

by Ed on February 05, 2007 at 01:11 PM

Posted by: Matilda at February 4, 2007 11:29 AM

Wow, you musn't be a snob at all. Only down to earth people use the term 'life partner'. You've just pigeon-holed half of Australia. Do you get beaten up often at work?

by Anonymous on February 05, 2007 at 01:27 PM

97% of people are fooled by statistics.

by blamberg on February 05, 2007 at 01:53 PM

My immediate impression of the statistics you have quoted is that it implies that they are the only choices that a person or family has in terms of 'going out'. Doing a bit of a run through, I'd have to say that we don't get round to doing a lot of the stuff listed because when we "go out" we tend to be Participating rather than Spectating. Mostly we are out doing some form of sport or recreation, or we are out enjoying what nature has to offer -the beach, or the bush.

So you might theorise that if attendance at sporting events (or indeed any of the others listed - and let's face it they are all fairly passive pursuits) is going down, it could mean that instead people are getting out and active themselves. It might not be culturally beneficial, but I don't think you can classify all the non-attenders as couch potatoes.

by Tracey on February 05, 2007 at 03:41 PM

There can't be that many chic-flicks a year right? I'd say movies are fairly gender neutral.

However I think this survey shows something, men can't be bothered filling out surveys, women can.

(By the way if sydney ladies want a cultured man then stop asking what his income is, where he is, what his body-mass index is etc, there's plenty of normal guys out there, stop looking for mr darcy crossed with james bond.

by Movie going man on February 05, 2007 at 04:01 PM

Getting back to the subject of the actual statistics report; I'm always a bit suspicious of the methodology of these surveys. I assume that the "sporting events" category refers to attendance at professional sports. If so, I suspect that if the category were extended to cover attendance at _all_ sporting events, and it captured the huge numbers who regularly attend junior /amateur sports, then sports attendance would be by far the most popular pastime.

I don't mention this to fuel any "sports vs culture" argument; just to note that the results you get in statistics depends a lot on how you frame the questions and definitions that you use.

by mark on February 06, 2007 at 10:02 AM

LOL. WAY TO GO girls with all the generalised assumptions about guys. Especially you Matilda! By the way, if you think Europe will fill your life partner void, many European men are sport goers, some even uncultured football hooligans, some major womanisers! I think you're caught up in the fairytale myth about Europeans as being cultured, smart and down to earth a little to much. It all depends on where you meet them. Meet a bloke at a nightclub and theres every chance you'll run into your worst nightmare! a sleazy, sex charged bloke with alcohol running through them.
I love my sport, but im not uncivilised. I drink beer. but that doesn't make me uncivilised.

by Matt Dillon on January 01, 2008 at 01:09 PM

This is truly amazing. Looks like only families with small children and women do anything. Aussie men must sit around swilling beer and scratching their arse.

by rajiv on February 18, 2008 at 06:45 AM

The Sun-Herald

Who We Are

WHO WE ARE: Wankers, geeks, and dust sniffers

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