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by David Dale.
Weight loss as a spectator sport -- that's the next big thing. Channel Ten, which prides itself on being the trendsetter in entertainment, believes Australians want to see fat people, both adults and children, harangued and humiliated until they change their ways of eating and exercising. So next year it will attempt to regain its lost audience by showing competitive stomach-shrinking for three and half hours a week.
That revelation, along with the theory that there's more to be squeezed out of the celebrities-under-stress formula, was the highlight of the programming preview party that Ten threw for its advertising clients last week. From February, Ten will show an Australian version of the US program The Biggest Loser every weeknight at 7pm. A bunch of local blobs (chosen from 6,000 applicants) will be bullied by two US trainers into racing towards the perfect physique. That's how Ten will tempt viewers aged 16-39 away from Home and Away on Seven, Temptation on Nine and the news on the ABC.
Ten's official program guide says: "6,000 Australians applied to take part in the local version of the series that has been a hit with Ten's 16-39 graphic and women 25-54. US trainers Jillian Michaels and Bob Harper provide continuity".
But weight, there's more. From March, Ten will show Honey We're Killing The Kids, a local version of a British show, in which children get tested on their fitness and their food habits, and are then shown computer projections of what they'll be like in 10, 20 and 30 years. It's sold as "shock therapy for parents".
In the preview clip, a sweet-faced 10-year-old morphs before our eyes into a frowning, frumpy 40 year old, as an expert screams at her parents: "You have to change what you are doing!" It's a blend of The Supernannny and You Are What You Eat, only more confronting because it manipulates every parent's fear of ruining their child's future.
Ten's program guide: "Highlighting the problem of childhood obesity and sedentary lifestyles, this adaptation of the major new BBC format scientifically predicts how individual children will look as adults, and health experts then work with parents to radically change the family's diet and behaviour".
Having chided the chubbies, Ten will make fools of the famous. On Sundays there'll be quizzes designed to find "Australia's brainiest" musician, cricketer, TV star, Olympian, footballer, etc. On The Friday Night Games, hosted by three former Big Brother housemates, there'll be slapstick challenges pitting celebrities against unknowns.
And on Wednesdays Ten will test the improvisational skills of the stars by throwing them into unexpected storylines. This version of theatre sports, called Thank God You're Here, and subtitled "survival of the funniest", was devised by Working Dog, the team responsible for Frontline, The Panel and All Aussie Adventures, so it should be smart -- assuming they haven't run out of victims by then.
Program guide: "Well known personalities are dropped into a scene in which they have no idea who they are or why they are there and must improvise their way through".
After frightening the fat and the famous, Ten will satirise the suburbs. The Wedge, with echoes of Kingswood Country and Kath and Kim, is a sketch comedy series set in a semi-rural neighbourhood populated by morons. It was created by Ian McFadyen (of The Comedy Company) so it might just work -- if they pull back on the canned laughter.
And to prove that it is not anti-eating, Ten will bring out Jamie Oliver to reconstruct the British experiment in which he trained 15 underprivileged kids to run a restaurant. The restaurant, called Fifteen, will be on the corner of Spring and Little Collins Street, Melbourne, opposite Victoria's parliament house, so it won't be short of well-heeled customers.
Any of that sound tempting? Check out Ten's schedule for February and tell us if it's enough to bring you back to mainstream television. If not, what kind of programming does the trendsetter need?
Channel Ten's recovery strategy for February, 2006
Monday to Friday 7pm: Australia's Biggest Loser
Mondays from 7.30pm: Surface (US sci-fi); Law and Order; Supernatural (US mystery).
Tuesdays: The Simpsons; The Wedge (Aus comedy); The OC; Rove Live.
Wednesdays: Jamie Oliver's Italian Escape; It's Me Or The Dog (pet training); House; Medium.
Thursdays: Smallville; Law and Order SVU; Numbers.
Fridays: Friday Night Games (celebrity challenges); movies.
Saturdays: Documentaries; AFL matches.
Sundays: Australia's Brainiest specials; The Simpsons; Everybody Hates Chris (US sitcom); NCIS; Law and Order Criminal Intent.
David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). His latest book is Soffritto -- A delicious Ligurian memoir. To join a daily discussion of Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
Yet more reasons to throw my TV into the rubbish bin.
Nothing wrong with channel 10 trying to encourage and educaet us on our diets. For all of u who complained i suggest you get a real life not a tube one!
I know that channel 10 do show a lot of unimaginative, canned laughter, bought-at-a-garage-sale-for-10 cents kind of shows, but I don't think that is any reason to look down your nose at the people who actually want to make a difference in their life. I'm referring to the Australian Biggest Loser - where the people aren't bullied or teased (by other cast members), and are supported into a healthier way of life. Isn't that a good thing? You don't have to watch it, but do you have to be so rude about the participants? I guess I've never really understood why people bully those they don't even know....
I loved the US version of The Biggest Loser! I know that it is awfully trashy TV but it was just so good.. What Channel 10 has to realise is, that normal people (size 6-8 women with no weight issues) watch this show and moving finales to Friday nights (when we are out for drinks) is poor programming considering it was originally slated for Monday nights. Stop being so presumptous Channel Ten! But at least you actually give us the real finales unlike Channel Nine!
Wow! More complete unoriginality from the people at ten. It would be bad enough if these were original program formats but they can't even come up with an 'idea' in the true sense of the word.
Ten should just show repeats of the Simpsons all day, every day - it would be more entertaining in the short run and probably rate higher as well.
I thought this was a satiric piece... and now I find out the author is serious? Where's my book?
So much of the "reality" genre is based on the fascination with transformation (houses, gardens, diets, fitness, surgery etc). When is someone going to transform television into a more entertaining media?
Channel Ten should base itself out Parramatta way. There's enough fat bastards out there to fill its timeslots from dawn to dusk!
Hey Youssef - with the quality that Ten and other networks are throwing our way, there's PLENTY of reasons to get a real life.
I would love to be able to say I'm glad I have Foxtel, but in reality, I'm not - it's about as useless as the free to air networks. Oh for a government that actually supports public broadcasters, like the excellent BBC/RTE models in europe....
i think the aussie version of "the biggest loser" will go OK... mainly because they have some original cast!..QE for the SG failed because the aussie hosts looked like cardboard cut outs of the originals..so we all thought it to be lame!
plus i cant help watching big people run..its hypnotic!
So much for a previous comment that TEN is encouraging us on our diets - one little replacement has soured me on TEN's intentions: Aerobics Oz Style, a decade long favourite previously showing at 6.30am weekdays, has been replaced by an hour of 'assaultads' mislabelled Bright Ideas. I now happily pay to see AOS on cable and avoid TEN's couch potato reinforcements.
bring back 'THE SHIELD'!! It was gritty, had a story, quality actors (imagine that!?) and was a refreshing break from reality stuff. A little bit of reality is great, but cmon. Big brother AGAIN?! Surely the most tired show around..
I think we can assume the golden age of network television is well and truly over. Channel Ten is merely in the death throws. I think it's a good excuse for us to all get outside and enjoy life again!
Personally I want to scream at parents of fat children. They're killing their kids because they're too lazy to parent properly. If Channel Ten can manage to scream at a whole bunch of these parents for me, more power to them.
Is television getting worse or are people becoming more stupid? I think it's a combination of both.
Thanks to Channel 10 who will no doubt continue this trend by shamelessly airing such garbage.
Someone is making lots and lots of money by manipulating the stupid majority e.g. SMSing their favourite idol or big brother star. Perhaps if Channel 10 offered to donate all the money made from their reality shows to a charity or medical research, I would respect them. Until then, smb.
Most of this stuff sounds pretty crap but I think it is great we are getting Biggest Loser in Australia. If anyone watched the American version that just finished you would have seen what a life changing experience it was for the contestants, I think most of them saved themselves from an early grave I thought it was fantastic. Also I found it very motivating to keep myself in shape so that I don't end up being one of those contestants. Hopefully it will have the same affect on the rest of the veiwing public and we might see a decrease in obesity.
Reading this reminds me just why I watch the ABC and SBS 95% of the time. What rubbish! Mindless and derivative... like most of the 'tabloid tv' channels. Can't remember the last time I even tuned in to Channel 10 but I can assure you the next time will be a long time in coming given their 'dumbed down' programming.
Hurrah!
Thanks for warning us in advance about the absolute bollocks that Channel 10 is going to be screening next year well in advance.
This gives me lots of time to perfect the Channel 10 voodoo doll and poke it repeatedly in the groin with sharp objects for becoming utterly unoriginal, frightfully boring and... oh wait, it was always like that...
Never mind!
Finally! A weight loss tv show in Australia, much needed i would say considering over 50% of Australians are obese, thanks channel ten, to the good health of the future Australia!
With obesity on the rise at least the "Fat Cats" at Ten have finally found a target audience for their drivel. Fat Execs telling programmers to air Fat programs to the Fat population to Fatten ratings and their wallets. It's all too much. What ever happened to actual programs that entertained?
It's a pity that they (Channel 10 programmers) are generally more concerned about body fats, weight loss, etc. Perhaps they should make a program that invites us not to watch television.
AFL matches...LOL
I'd rather watch dieting. oh hang on, no that would be stupid too.
God, what a crock from TEN, again! At least they still have The Simpsons and House. Surface was okay, but I think it's going to get old quite fast (faster than Rove Live in fact, and that got old PDQ).
They need to steal Mythbusters from SBS, Sex and The City reruns from whoever, The West Wing from Nine (they clearly don't want it) and run SBS's news on TEN. Oh, and The Office reruns from the ABC. Add a couple of nature docos like Sperm Wars (ABC or SBS, I forget which) and they're sweet.
I have an idea for a new channel 10 show, place a group of reasonably intelligent people in a house for say...3 weeks.
All they get to watch is channel 10!
Whoever makes it out either sane or with their IQ undiminished is the winner.
Whoever comes out the most brain dead gets to run the station thereon!
Clearly TEN's programmers have the same intelligence as their news team and weatherman.....They've really stooped to a new low...
In reply to David S., Ten bought Sex And The City last Christmas from Nine. They planned to show the entire series from the start in the ratings season, but they took it off air after 2 weeks due to poor ratings.
And guess what they replaced it with.....THE BIGGEST LOSER!
Thanks God for cable, books, newspapers and the internet. All free to air commercial tv is appalling. Any tv series I want to watch these days, I'll go to HMV and buy the dvd.
Thank god Smallville, House, Numbers and Surface are still on...
what on earth happened to one tree hill and pimp my ride??!!
Yikes! Apart from a few gems (like House) it looks like it's same swill different bucket again this year. Of course the worse the show is the harder they're going to cram it down our throats. Thank god for Pay TV, DVDs and the internet.
ten is the surface
may the forse be with you
If 10 are really intent on buying shows rather than creating anything original, the very least they can do is to shop somewhere decent. How about this for a starter shopping basket - Mythbusters, American Chopper, American Hotrod and Little Britain - and if they really want to redo a licensed format show, how about an Aussie version of Top Gear with all the same super premium production values? Ain't gonna happen, is it? And they wonder why we're all turning to the internet...
any station that still shows neighbours obviously has problems.
I loved Friday Night Games last year with Big Brother. I am glad they thought of bringing it back. I just wish it was actually say Sunday Night Games or during the week games, as I will be out drinking most Fridays Nights, or away for the weekend. So I will have to resort to taping them again - bummer....
what happened to futurama?
bring on OC, the wedge - wateva it is but im sorri the australian biggest loser apart from their ads is going to b shocking - lets watch a bunch of people dangerously lose weight - i mean the ppl on the american one lost way over 1kg a week and they say it is safe tch tch channel ten - keep the neighbours rolling (sorri)
Channel Ten should definitly get their arses into gear and replace their idiotic brainiac with the much more amusing Mythbusters. They should also try to get southpark and Little britains good comedy always wins over bad drama *cough neighbours cough*
id like to see those contestants a year afta the biggest loser finishes, there diets were so radical and all they did was exercise its hard to do that when u work and go to uni, so what wouldve happend to most of em is put a fair bit of weight on from goin back to a normal lifestyle even if they were watchin wat they were eating and excersising because it wouldnt have been as extreme as the tv show they were on
Channel 10 could be on to something - if they did a bit of shopping, and maybe revived a few programs, they could have...
"TENS FAT FRIDAYS!"
7:00 - THE BIGGEST LOSER
7:30 - FAT ACTRESS (Kirstie Alleys fat show)
8:00 - MY BIG FAT GREEK LIFE (Didn't someone try this already)
8:30 - MOVIE (Something fat)
10:00 - THE FAT (Tony Squires old ABC show)
11:30 - FAT PIZZA (From SBS)
Movies - My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Big Fat Liar, Fat Albert, any others with 'Big' or 'Fat' in the title?!
They could start it off with FAT CAT in the mornings too!
Sure, theres a lot of crap listed above, but it would fit in quite nicely with Tens line-up! Only things I bother watching are Law & Orders, House, and NCIS
OMGOODNESS!! WHERE IS AMERICAN IDOL??? If anyone knows what ten is doing to it could they please post!!?
Im also wanting to know what is happening to American idol, why are we not getting it?
Can anyone please email me regarding the new series of Amerian Idol and whether it will be shown. It is way better than the australian one and cant wait to see it. Can anyone please help
I'm organising a Biggest Loser sweep at work. can anyone tell me which contestants are in the blue team and which are in red?
Thanks
Biggest Loser? Biggest Bore.
Could someone plz tell me what's the wedge. I have know idea what it's about, who stars in it, whos idea it is etc...
The Tribal Mind replies: It's a sketch comedy series set in an outer suburb of an Australian city, created by former Comedy Company writer Ian McFadyen. This column was written four months ago. How did you happen upon it and make a comment after all this time?
TEN HAVE BEEN RUNNING THE PROMO OF THEIR NEW SHOW "THE WEDGE" FOR OVER THREE MONTHS, WITH A WEB ADDRESS (www.thewedge.com.au)...THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THE BLOODY WEB ADDRESS ONLY STATES THAT IT'S "COMMING SOON".....GET IT TOGEATHER 10.....SHHHEEEESH
PS: CAPT. EDDIE (CH. 9 GM)
HAS LOST TOUCH WITH WHERE HE STARTED OUT...UMMM, I DO BELIVE HE GREW UP IN BROADMEADOWS IN VICTORIA.
AS EDDIE DID NOT WANT TO SIGN AN AUTOGRAPH FOR MY 1 Yr. OLD SON OVER THE COMM GAMES.....ONE WORD COMES TO MIND ED "WANKER"
Tribal Mind replies: This column was written four months ago. How did you happen upon it and make a comment after all this time?
The Wedge is Ten's new sit-com written by Ian McFadyen (of Comedy Company infamy). If they'd update their website, people might know stuff like that.
And yay for 'improv', and people being applauded for making stuff rhyme. Comic gold.
Tribal Mind replies: This column was written four months ago. How did you happen upon it and make a comment after all this time?
Can someone give me an update on American Idol 5? Where the bloody hell is it? There's nothing to watch on tv except HOUSE, and SVU and LAW AND ORDER:CRIMINAL INTENT....Does channel 10 think they can get by on their local shows like 'thank god you're here'...channel 10, wake up and smell the entertainment!!!
Tribal Mind replies: For some reason you are commenting on a blog that was concluded three months ago. Lucky we even found your message. If you go to www.smh.com.au/tribalmind, you will find the latest discussion of TV ratings, programming plans etc. Last week another reader asked if Ten was going to show American Idol this year and they replied that it is "not in our schedule at the moment".
I thought that the wedge was some housing suburd in rural queensland, because that is where I am from and I saw what I thought was an ad for it on tv
I always thought how strange it was, when they showed the high school on the ad, they showed the sign with spraypaint on it lol
well I dont know if you guys know the ad or not ,but now there is another one of some guy dressed as a lollipop lady and he/she bashes a guy who doesnt stop at the crossing.
Tribal Mind replies: This is not an active blog. Would you mind sending this comment again to the current blog, which can be found at www.smh.com.au/tribalmind
ALL AUSSIE TV SUCKS!!!! ABC AND SBS SOMEWHAT OK, AT LEAST THE NEWS ARE INFORMATIVE.
BUT THE REST.... THEY ARE ALL WANKERS!!!
SEVEN, NINE AND TEN ARE THE DUMPEST CHANNELS ON THIS PLANET.
WHAT THEY CALL NEWS IS TOTAL SHIT, THEY DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO MAKE NEWS THOSE IDIOTS.
ABOUT BIGGEST LOSER ON TEN... BIGGEST CRAP EVER. WHO GIVES A F@*K ABOUT THESE OVERWEIGHT DICKHEADS.
AND DANCING WITH THE WANNEBE'S IS ANOTHER STUPID CRAP. NOT TO MENTION THE REST THEY SHOW.
ANYBODY WHO HAS WATCHED TV IN EUROPE KNOW'S WHAT I MEAN....
AUSTRALIA IS THE ONLY COUNTRY WHICH HAS NO MULTICHANNEL TV!!!!
BUT THERE IS MORE CRAP HERE.... DRIVING A CAR HERE IS EVEN MORE CRAP THEN AUSSIE TV!!!!
AUSSIES CAN'T DRIVE SHIT!!! THE HOLE SYSTEM STINKS!!!
TRUCKS FOR EXAMPLE, THEY SHOULD BE SLOWED DOWN TO 80K'S.
ANYWAY, GETTING A CAR LICENCE IN AUSTRALIA IS AN A B S O L U T JOKE!!!!
THATS IT I'VE GOT ENOUGH. ONLY MY BLOOD GETS BOILING AND NOTHING CHANGES IN THIS WANKER COUNTRY ANYWAY.....
HEY, WAKE UP AUSTRALIA !!! ITS NOT ONLY THE TV WHICH SUCKS BIG TIME, ITS THE HOLE FOOD BUSINESS TOO!!! WHY do you think SO MANY people in this country are OVERWEIGHT ???
Because the FOOD HERE IS ABSOLUT CRAP ! ! ! ! Butchers and Bakers should be ashamed of what they produce here. Next time you buy something from a Butcher OPEN your NOSE!!! HAVE A GOOD SMELL.... guess what? that place STINKs!!! (why do they never have any smoked meat???) About the AUSSIE MEATPIE... YUUUK, its pastry filled with shit, (if you fill these meatpies with dog or cat food i wonder who can taste the difference.... And what about all this soft Bread crap.... that shit makes people fat as well. Fibre in white bread... WHAT A JOKE!!! its totally unhealthy CRAP! ALL WHITE BREAD IS UNHEALTHY!!! WHY PEOPLE DONT KNOW THAT HERE??? Education, thats the key i would say. The BEST FOOD EVER this country has to offer is SEAFOOD. But aussies can't take credit for this cos its not something they PRODUCE, its just there in the water luckeley. What about all these Junkfood places like Hungry Jacks, Sizzler, Red Rooster, Mc Donalds, Pizza Hut, Dominos and so on.... what they have to offer should'nt even called food, its just FAT FAT AND MORE FAT!!! All you people here in the food business, go and LEARN how to do it right or don't do it at all!!!! Just ask people in europe about aussie food or english food in general... the answer is most defenetly the same: "THE ENGLISH DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT COOKING". Its a FACT!!! Have you ever eaten a pizza in italy??? well, you would never ever touch this crap (what they call pizza here) anymore. It should be illigal to call that crap "pizza" what they "make" at Dominos or Pizza Hut!!! Fat people are fat here cos they eat shit, why do they eat shit??? Cos there's only shit available (90%).
(....and the same applies to america! )
AUSTRALIA is a REAL NICE country but what turns it down is THE UNHAELTHY FOOD, STUPID TV, TOO MANY INCOMPETENT BUILDERS/TRADESMAN, TOO MANY STUPID PEOPLE IN GENERAL, DRUGS, CARDBOARD HOUSES (Queensland) and THE INCOMPETENCE TO DRIVE A CAR AND HOW TO USE IT ON THE ROAD ! ! !
In response to Marcos's comments on The Biggest Loser, your way off base.
It's a reality show that deals people with weight problems and obesity, but YOU!!! calling them wankers and so on, you have no idea what your talking about, they are human beings like you and me, although sometimes i doubt that your a human being, however there are some points i agree with you on, but i don't have to go down to your level and degrade people. It seems to me that you must be the only one on this earth that knows everything.
Yes fish is good, i don't have a problem with that, but each to their own, don't put your eggs into one basket, open your eyes and look around you.
just because you hate things that don't suit your lifestyle, that doesn't mean that you have to agree with you up to a certain point.
Oh well , i was happy to put my 2 cents worth in this forum, but do me a favour Marco, don't begrudge the contestants on The Biggest Loser, they are good and beautiful people, and if you can't accept that, well that's your problem.
Jackymo.
TM replies: Jackymo, I'm afraid you are responding to a column that was written more than three months ago. I don't know how you even found it, but however that happened, nobody is likely to read it. The current discussion on the issues you raise can be found at www.smh.com.au/tribalmind (under the heading "The (non) ratings race"). If you'd like your comment to be part of current discussion, could you kindly resend it it to that blog?
fat people are fat theres no douting that. Hey that ryhmes i guess im a peot and i didnt eve no it. Hey that ryhmes to.
TM replies: Hugh Jarss, I'm afraid you are responding to a column that was written more than three months ago. I don't know how you even found it, but however that happened, nobody is likely to read it. The current discussion on the issues you raise can be found at www.smh.com.au/tribalmind (under the heading "The (non) ratings race"). If you'd like your comment to be part of current discussion, could you kindly resend it it to that blog? You may want to do a spellcheck before you do.
In reply to Marco Polo's comments of 10 and 11 April on CRAP/SUCKS/STINKS etc etc. I thought that Marco Polo landed in America. What are you doing here man?? One way you could try to improve your comments would be by learning to spell so that they would be easier to read. One way you could improve all the Crap and Shit in Australia would be by removing one large piece of it when you emigrate to Europe.
Tribal Mind comments: Marco Polo was an Italian who claimed he visited China.
Reply to "JACKYMO"....
Hey I'M SORRY man. I've used very very baaad language in my comments about overweight people and i apologize!!!!!!
----->>> response to "HOWIE BROWN": Yes "MATE" thats a great idea going back to europe... maybe i will...
You should get your @�* there too soon, THAT will open your eyes. ....and if you got reading troubles cos some spelling is'nt in your favour.... geee you really must have limits within your ..... . . . . . and that's all Folks!
Tribal Mind asks: That's all very well, but why are you commenting on a blog that closed three months ago? The current TV blogs can be found at www.smh.com.au/tribalmind.
Things like Channel 10 and their pathetic non stop repeats of shows is the reason people download episodes or entire series of shows that have already been played in the US last year.
It's a ploy to encourage people to suscribe to foxtel.
Hey, Tribal Mind dudes, I'm... just interested really... Why don't you close this blog off to new postings? It's just that you seem to be spending a bit of time instructing everyone who posts that this page isn't valid anymore. Does it trouble you? :)
(I found it 'cos I was googling for info on "The Wedge", by the way.)
Tribal Mind replies: It doesn't trouble us if you want to comment here -- it's just that hardly anybody else will read it. So it would be better to go to the latest ratings blog, which can be found at www.smh.com.au/tribalmind
Mike Goldman wasn't a former housmate...
Tribal Mind wonders: Why are you commenting on a blog that has been out of date for six months? If you to www.smh.com.au/tribalmind, you will find the latest blog, at which there will be people to read your comment.
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Excellent - more derivative lowbrow 'entertainment' from Channel Ten. A knock-off local copy of a show whose original version has already screened here? A sure-fire recipe for success.
::cough cough aussie queer eye cough::
Ten's not so much a network as it is a recycling plant. Maybe they should move into aluminium.