The Sun-Herald

Tis the season to get smarter

by David Dale.
Shaddup you face. That's what this column says to people who complain about the silly season. What's the matter you? It's not so bad, it's a nicer place than the rest of the year (when the entertainment providers are only interested in the mass market).

Now is a time when the TV stations offer diversity and the viewers demonstrate discernment, a time when we see Australians at their best: open to new ideas and keen to keep up with current events. December and January should be called the sensitive, selective, or serious season.

Thus the top 20 most watched shows of the past fortnight have included the documentaries Dynasties and Grumpy Old Women; the newses on Nine, Seven and the ABC; My Favourite Movie; the pop-science Mythbusters; a sci-fi thriller called Surface; a supernatural drama called The Ghost Whisperer; and a belated return of the satirical series Futurama.

Traditionally the silly season has been a period when the networks recycle their trash (programs that didn't rate during the "official" year) and experiment on their guinea pigs (programs they fear are too clever for the average family). But one viewer's trash is another's treasure. One audience's flop is another's cult. Summer is the only time when the individual matters more than the mob.

Fans can finally learn what happened next in Joey, Gilmore Girls and Malcolm in the Middle. Trendspotters can analyse why young Americans are crazy for Veronica Mars (sexy teen detective), The Family Guy (subversive slapstick), and Stacked (Pamela Anderson mocking her own image). Nostalgists can savour ancient episodes of formerly cutting edge sitcoms such as Will and Grace and That 70s Show. It's like having pay TV for free!

On the results so far, these are the silly season shows most likely to survive past February: Surface, The Ghost Whisperer, Medium, Boston Legal, Futurama. And these are the shows we won't see again until December 2006, if at all: Headland, Wife Swap USA, Joey, Blind Justice, Dragons Den, Stacked, That 70s Show. Make the most of them while you may.

Now here's your opportunity to compare your tastes with those of other Australians, to be shocked that so many others have found that obscure drama you've been recording, to be delighted at the smallness of the elite who loves weird comedies, and to let us know about the discoveries you've made during this sensible season ...

The cults of summer: How your favourites rated
OZTAM estimated audience in the mainland capitals
Blind Justice (10) 873,000
Boston Legal (7) 820,000
Charmed (10) 805,000
Creature Comforts (ABC) 665,000
Dragons Den (7) 705,000
Dynasties (ABC) 1.6m
Family Guy (7) 592,000
Futurama (10) 1.1m
Ghost Whisperer (7) 1.3m
Gilmore Girls (9) 602,000
Growing up Gotti (ABC) 620,000
Grumpy Old Women (ABC) 1.3m
Headland (7) 750,000
Hot Property (7) 1.2m
Joey (9) 870,000
Judging Amy (9) 992,000
King of Queens (9) 892,000
Malcolm in the Middle (9) 608,000
Medium (10) 880,000
My Favourite Film (ABC) 1.1m
Mythbusters (SBS) 980,000
Renovation Rescue (9) 1.2m
Schools Spectacular (ABC) 960,000
Simpsons (10) 1.0m
Smallville (10) 820,000
Spicks and Specks Sunday (ABC) 1.1m
Stacked (7) 780,000
Surface (10) 1.0m
Survivor Guatemala Final (9) 1.1m
That 70s show (7) 750,000
Third Watch (9) 1.1m
Two and Half Men (9) 1.1m
Veronica Mars (10) 750,000
Wife Swap USA 9 750,000
Will and Grace (7) 840,000

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). His latest book is Soffritto -- A delicious Ligurian memoir. To join a daily discussion of Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 09:55 AM
• Comments (114)

Humiliation becomes family fun

by David Dale.
Weight loss as a spectator sport -- that's the next big thing. Channel Ten, which prides itself on being the trendsetter in entertainment, believes Australians want to see fat people, both adults and children, harangued and humiliated until they change their ways of eating and exercising. So next year it will attempt to regain its lost audience by showing competitive stomach-shrinking for three and half hours a week.

That revelation, along with the theory that there's more to be squeezed out of the celebrities-under-stress formula, was the highlight of the programming preview party that Ten threw for its advertising clients last week. From February, Ten will show an Australian version of the US program The Biggest Loser every weeknight at 7pm. A bunch of local blobs (chosen from 6,000 applicants) will be bullied by two US trainers into racing towards the perfect physique. That's how Ten will tempt viewers aged 16-39 away from Home and Away on Seven, Temptation on Nine and the news on the ABC.

Ten's official program guide says: "6,000 Australians applied to take part in the local version of the series that has been a hit with Ten's 16-39 graphic and women 25-54. US trainers Jillian Michaels and Bob Harper provide continuity".

But weight, there's more. From March, Ten will show Honey We're Killing The Kids, a local version of a British show, in which children get tested on their fitness and their food habits, and are then shown computer projections of what they'll be like in 10, 20 and 30 years. It's sold as "shock therapy for parents".

In the preview clip, a sweet-faced 10-year-old morphs before our eyes into a frowning, frumpy 40 year old, as an expert screams at her parents: "You have to change what you are doing!" It's a blend of The Supernannny and You Are What You Eat, only more confronting because it manipulates every parent's fear of ruining their child's future.

Ten's program guide: "Highlighting the problem of childhood obesity and sedentary lifestyles, this adaptation of the major new BBC format scientifically predicts how individual children will look as adults, and health experts then work with parents to radically change the family's diet and behaviour".

Having chided the chubbies, Ten will make fools of the famous. On Sundays there'll be quizzes designed to find "Australia's brainiest" musician, cricketer, TV star, Olympian, footballer, etc. On The Friday Night Games, hosted by three former Big Brother housemates, there'll be slapstick challenges pitting celebrities against unknowns.

And on Wednesdays Ten will test the improvisational skills of the stars by throwing them into unexpected storylines. This version of theatre sports, called Thank God You're Here, and subtitled "survival of the funniest", was devised by Working Dog, the team responsible for Frontline, The Panel and All Aussie Adventures, so it should be smart -- assuming they haven't run out of victims by then.

Program guide: "Well known personalities are dropped into a scene in which they have no idea who they are or why they are there and must improvise their way through".

After frightening the fat and the famous, Ten will satirise the suburbs. The Wedge, with echoes of Kingswood Country and Kath and Kim, is a sketch comedy series set in a semi-rural neighbourhood populated by morons. It was created by Ian McFadyen (of The Comedy Company) so it might just work -- if they pull back on the canned laughter.

And to prove that it is not anti-eating, Ten will bring out Jamie Oliver to reconstruct the British experiment in which he trained 15 underprivileged kids to run a restaurant. The restaurant, called Fifteen, will be on the corner of Spring and Little Collins Street, Melbourne, opposite Victoria's parliament house, so it won't be short of well-heeled customers.

Any of that sound tempting? Check out Ten's schedule for February and tell us if it's enough to bring you back to mainstream television. If not, what kind of programming does the trendsetter need?

Channel Ten's recovery strategy for February, 2006
Monday to Friday 7pm: Australia's Biggest Loser
Mondays from 7.30pm: Surface (US sci-fi); Law and Order; Supernatural (US mystery).
Tuesdays: The Simpsons; The Wedge (Aus comedy); The OC; Rove Live.
Wednesdays: Jamie Oliver's Italian Escape; It's Me Or The Dog (pet training); House; Medium.
Thursdays: Smallville; Law and Order SVU; Numbers.
Fridays: Friday Night Games (celebrity challenges); movies.
Saturdays: Documentaries; AFL matches.
Sundays: Australia's Brainiest specials; The Simpsons; Everybody Hates Chris (US sitcom); NCIS; Law and Order Criminal Intent.

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). His latest book is Soffritto -- A delicious Ligurian memoir. To join a daily discussion of Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 06:37 AM
• Comments (61)

The top TV of 2005

by David Dale.
Here are the 50 most watched events and individual episodes of series for the year. The figures are the audiences in the mainland capitals, as estimated by OZTAM (to find out how OZTAM operates, click here).
Because the "official" ratings season started in February, this list does not include the actual most watched event of 2005 -- the men's final of the Australian Open tennis (which drew 4 million viewers in the mainland capitals in January). Nor does it include the opening episodes of Lost and Desperate Housewives (both 2.2 million), which Seven launched before the season to hook the punters before other stations could counter-program, nor the Kath and Kim movie, which the ABC showed after the ratings season (it got 2.1 million).

Most watched moments of the 2005 ratings season
1. AFL grand final (10) 3.39milion
2. Rugby League grand final (9) 2.56m
3. Melbourne Cup race (7) 2.51m
4. Soccer: Australia v Uruguay (SBS) 2.48m
5. Desperate Housewives (7) 2.36 million (season average 2.13m)
6. Dancing With The Stars series two final (7) 2.34m (season average 1.86m)
7. Big Brother winner (10) 2.28m
8. Dancing With The Stars series three final (7) 2.22m (season average 1.98m)
9. Lost (7) 2.22m (average 1.93m)
10. Logies arrivals (9) 2.15m
11. Nine news Sunday (9) 2.07m (average 1.68m)
12. Everybody Loves Raymond final (10) 2.06m
13. Border Security (10) 2.00m (average 1.82m)
14. 60 Minutes (9) 1.95m (average 1.64m)
15. CSI (9) 1.93m (average 1.66m)
16. Australian Idol final (10) 1.90m
17. The Logies awards ceremony (9) 1.89m
18. The Supernanny (9) 1.85m (average 1.34m)
19. Frasier final (9) 1.84m (average 1.25m)
20. Getaway (9) 1.83m (average 1.25m)
21. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (9) 1.81m (1.31m)
22. 20 to 1 (9) 1.80m (average 1.63m)
23. Rugby league State of Origin 2 (9) 1.76m
24. Celebrity Circus (9) 1.76m (average 1.49m)
25. Backyard Blitz (9) 1.76m (average 1.52m)
26. One day cricket: Aus v World (9) 1.74m
27. RPA (9) 1.73m (average 1.53m)
28. Mythbusters Jaws (7) 1.73m
29. 50 years, 50 Shows (9) 1.72m
30. True Stories (7) 1.72m (average 1.58m)
31. Medical Emergency (7) 1.72m (average 1.53m)
32. House (10) 1.69m (average 1.51m)
33. Grey's Anatomy (7) 1.65m (average 1.44m)
34. Happy Days Reunion (9) 1.54m
35. Celebrity Overhaul (9) 1.61m (average 1.42m first season, 1.31m second season)
36. Seven news Sunday (7) 1.51m (average 1.36m)
37. Graham Kennedy King of Television (9) 1.50m
38. CSI: New York (9) 1.57m (average 1.28)
39. Law and Order: Criminal Intent (10) 1.56m (average 1.17m)
40. Mary Bryant (10) 1.56m
41. All Saints (7) 1.56m (average 1.28m)
42. CSI: Miami (9) 1.56m (average 1.34m)
43. Category 6: Day of Destruction (7) 1.55m
44. Without A Trace (9) 1.55m average (1.25m)
45. Little Oberon (9) 1.54m
46. Andrew Denton and the Danish royals (ABC) 1.54m
47. Home and away (7) 1.53m (average 1.34m)
48. Movie - Two Weeks Notice (9) 1.52m
49. The Great Outdoors (7) 1.52m (average 1.25m)
50. Jamie's School Dinners (10) 1.51m (average 1.45m)
(List prepared by David Dale, based on OZTAM figures)
David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). His latest book is Soffritto -- A delicious Ligurian memoir. To join a daily discussion of Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 11:22 AM
• Comments (10)

Deus ex machina

by David Dale.
On this planet there are 1.1 billion Catholics, 1.3 billion Muslims, 900 million Hindus and 2.7 billion regular viewers of television. This last group worship their flickering god for, on average, three hours and seven minutes every day.

If they had a mantra, along the lines of Hail Mary, Allah akbar or Hare Krishna, it would be "Is that your final answer?" And their prophet would be the New York entrepreneur Donald Trump.

The Paris-based research organisation Eurodata has just published its annual report on the way the world uses the box. It found the new show that spread to the most countries over the past year was Trump's The Apprentice, while the world's most watched format was Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, with versions in 106 countries.

Classifying the 10 top-rated shows in 75 countries, Eurodata found the genre the world likes best is fiction (thrillers, sitcoms and movies) with 46 per cent of programs. Just 11 per cent of the world's favourite shows were made in the United States; 70 per cent were made in their own land.

Australia closely resembles the world, even if we are lukewarm about The Apprentice and losing interest in Millionaire. Among our 30 favourite shows in the first third of this year, 66 per cent were locally made, 30 per cent were American and 3.3 per cent were British (Jamie's School Dinners).

Our daily viewing time of three hours and seven minutes equals the international average, and among our most watched programs this year, 27 per cent were fiction (like Lost and CSI), 23 per cent sport (tennis and cricket), 20 per cent variety (Dancing With The Stars, StarStruck, Andrew Denton's Enough Rope), 13 per cent classifiable as "reality" (Celebrity Overhaul, Backyard Blitz), 13 per cent news, and 3 per cent game shows (Millionaire).

Eurodata reveals that around the world the first generation of "reality programming" is in decline (ominous news for the next Big Brother), but reality techniques are influential on the fastest rising new genre "coach shows", in which experts intervene to improve people's health, happiness and efficiency.

There you go: Australia's worship of Jamie and the Supernanny proves that, as ever, we are on the cutting edge.

How the world watches
Average TV viewing time per day
Japan: 5 hrs, 1 min
USA: 4 hrs, 28 mins
Argentina: 4 hrs, 25 mins
Eastern Europe (inc. Russia): 3hrs, 43 mins
Western Europe (inc. Britain): 3 hrs, 35 mins
Lebanon: 3 hrs, 18 mins
South Africa: 3 hrs, 9 mins
Australia: 3 hrs, 7 mins"
Sweden: 2 hrs, 30 minutes
China: 2 hrs, 30 mins

Favourite program types: the international mix
Fiction (thrillers, sitcoms): 35 %
News: 18 %
Special events (inc. sports): 13 %
Movies: 11 %
Reality: 9 %
Variety/chat: 7 %
Game: 5 %
Source: Eurodata

David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A snapshot of Australia today (Allen and Unwin). His latest book is Soffritto -- A delicious Ligurian memoir. To join a daily discussion of Australian attitudes, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To test yourself on whether you're fit to be an Australian citizen, click here. For a discussion of whether Australians are just mini-Americans, click here

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 10:15 AM
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