The Sun-Herald

WHO WE ARE: The most momentous moments

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 18/5/2008
We rage and whinge about television programming, but no medium can match it for uniting a nation around emotional events. Over the past few weeks, this column has been seeking your views on the dramas and comedies shown on the box over the past 52 years. In the process we failed to see the elephant in the room. No episode of a drama or comedy series has ever attracted more than half the population, but plenty of other things have. Here's an attempt to rank the moments that moved the majority of us.

The most watched events in Australian television history
1 The funeral of Diana Spencer (1997)
2 The Sydney Olympics opening ceremony (2000)
3 Cathy Freeman's gold medal Olympic run (2000)
4 Wedding of Prince Charles and Diana Spencer (1981)
5 The first human to walk on the moon (1969)
6 The first TV showing of The Sound of Music (1977)
7 The Australian Open tennis Men's Final Hewitt v Safin (2005)
8 Twin towers reportage, September 12 (2001)
9 The boxing match between Lionel Rose and Alan Rudkin (1969)
10 The Rugby World Cup final (2003)
11 The World of the Seekers concert documentary (1968)
12 The Beaconsfield miners rescue (2006)
13 Australian Idol final verdict (2003)
14 The Block auction (2003)
15 The AFL grand final (1996).

That's the impression of Australia's priorities we gain from the raw ratings data. Moving from the statistical to the theoretical, I've also attempted a personal judgement on social symbolism, which I'd better put in historical order.

The most significant moments in Australian television history
1 Homicide becomes the first Australian drama to outrate a top US drama (The Fugitive) (1966).
2 Number 96 shows TV's first gay kiss (1974).
3 Graham Kennedy is banned from live television for doing crow imitations that start with an "f" (1975).
4 AC/DC make the first successful Australian music video clip It's A Long Way To The Top (if you want to rock and roll)' (1977).
5 The Governor-General, Sir John Kerr, appears tired and emotional at the Melbourne Cup (1977)
6 Kerry Packer launches World Series Cricket (1978).
7 The Grim Reaper commercials warn about AIDS (1987).
8 Charlene (Kylie Minogue) marries Scott (Jason Donovan) in Neighbours (1987).
9 Bob Hawke admits infidelity and cries, on Clive Robertson's Newsworld (1989).
10 Normie Rowe and Ron Casey fight over republicanism on The Midday Show (1991).
11 Kerry Packer pulls off Doug Mulray's Naughtiest Home Videos halfway through the first episode, apparently because of a display of kangaroo genitals (1997).
12 The Block features gay renovators (2003).
13 Kevin Rudd starts his rise by doing weekly banter sessions with Joe Hockey on Sunrise (2003).
14 Steve Irwin holds his baby while feeding a crocodile (2004).
15 Pauline Hanson moves from politician to celebrity on Dancing With The Stars (2004).
16 Channel Ten expels contestants Ash and John from the Big Brother house for attempting to "turkey slap" contestant Camilla (2006).
17 The Chaser team show their arrest for breaching security at the APEC summit (2007).

What did I miss? If you'd care to suggest more interesting TV moments, or dispute the significance of the ones on the list, go to Comments

• by David Dale in whoweare-index at 03:59 PM
• Comments (0)

The Who We Are Update: So close, Shrek will make all the difference

To discuss Australia's greatest TV comedies of all time, go to Who We Are
To discuss which DVDs have the best extras, go to The Tribal Mind

At this point in the ratings week, the prime time average audience shares stand at ABC 16.2% Seven 28.7% Nine 28.0% Ten 21.8% SBS 5.3%.
What Australia watched, Friday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,373,000 385,000 334,000 267,000 161,000 226,000
2 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS Seven 1,361,000 383,000 418,000 226,000 143,000 191,000
3 NINE NEWS Nine 1,247,000 343,000 390,000 251,000 159,000 106,000
4 TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,191,000 330,000 286,000 222,000 153,000 200,000
5 SILENT WITNESS ABC 1,103,000 290,000 368,000 170,000 136,000 138,000
6 A CURRENT AFFAIR Nine 1,074,000 303,000 311,000 223,000 140,000 96,000
7 ABC NEWS ABC 1,036,000 254,000 374,000 174,000 96,000 138,000
8 BIG BROTHER - FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE Ten 998,000 282,000 298,000 183,000 147,000 88,000
12 BIG BROTHER Ten 845,000 242,000 241,000 176,000 110,000 76,000
17 SEVEN'S AFL: RND 8: ST KILDA VS COLLINGWOOD Seven 747,000 21,000 457,000 12,000 120,000 136,000
21 NINE'S LIVE FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Nine 610,000 364,000 246,000
26 I'M A CELEBRITY...GET ME OUT OF HERE Ten 425,000 128,000 119,000 79,000 61,000 40,000
31 M-THE STEPFORD WIVES Seven 373,000 230,000 143,000
35 NINE'S FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Nine 358,000 267,000 90,000
Continued here

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 03:28 PM
• Comments (64)

The Tribal Mind: Buy chocolate or rent vanilla?

To discuss Australia's greatest TV comedies of all time, go to Who We Are

by David Dale
Dunnobout you, but there are only two reasons why this column buys (as opposed to rents) DVDs:

1) To see a TV show that has been maltreated by the networks -- hence my recent purchase of 30 Rock season 1 (the cleverest sitcom since Arrested Development, shown erratically late at night by Channel Seven), Rome season 2 (from the murder of Caesar to the suicide of Mark Antony, never shown by Channel Nine), and Gilmore Girls season 7 (the saga's conclusion, shown erratically during daylight by Nine).

2) To get extra information about a movie I enjoyed at the cinema, via the director's and writer's commentaries, making-of documentaries, deleted scenes, alternative endings and other extras that appear on a second disc. Hence my quest last week in search of the two-disc edition of The Golden Compass.

It would seem that most buyers operate with the same motivations, judging by the top-sellers during April, as measured by market researchers GfK Australia. These are Australia's most purchased DVDs of the moment: 1. Bee Movie; 2 Stargate: The Ark Of Truth; 3 Dirty Dancing: 20th-anniversary edition; 4 Death At A Funeral; 5 Gilmore Girls: season seven.

But if extras are an incentive to buy a DVD, why do the distributors and the shopkeepers make it so difficult to find them? My interest in owning The Golden Compass began when I read this review by Ty Burr in America's Entertainment Weekly magazine: "Half the drama is in the EXTRAS, specifically reading between the lines of the two-disc set's commentary and 11 featurettes. In the former, writer-director Chris Weitz defends his adaptation of the first novel in Philip Pullman's fantasy trilogy. But in a making-of, Weitz looks like a man besieged by producers and his own insecurities. The film splits the difference: It's a visually awe-inspiring otherworld whose story is served up in awkward chunks. The kid (Dakota Blue Richards) is a find and Ian McKellen gives good bear, but this movie actually needed to be longer. B-.''

This led me to hope that screenwriter Weitz might address the controversy over whether the book is "anti-Catholic'' and whether he pandered to fundamentalists in removing Pullman's critique of religious dogma. My two local rental stores offered only the vanilla version (industry term for a DVD with no extras), as did the first two sales stores I approached, and I was beginning to think Australia had not received the full version when I finally discovered the two-disc set in J.B Hi-Fi, Pitt Street Mall.

In the extras, Weitz turns out to be terribly nice, revealing that Magda Szubanski (who appears for less than a minute) is an Australian actress from "a fantastic series called Kath and Kim'" and detailing how they did the fur on Nicole Kidman's monkey alter-ego.

He promises that "the last thing that I would ever want to do is a version that falsified the book", while admitting he held over the last three chapters to make a better beginning for the second film -- which is unlikely ever to be made, given the failure of TGC in America.

His only reference to the religious controversy is observing that The Magisterium (The Vatican) has "a patriarchal nature -- not to get too political''. He's missed the point. Getting political and backbiting and gossipy and vengeful is what we expect from directors when they make DVDs of their work. If Weitz wants to raise enough cash to make part two, he'd better issue a new three-disc set confessing what really went into (and out of) the movie. That would be a DVD worth buying.

What have been the best DVD extras you've experienced lately?

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 05:55 AM
• Comments (5)

WHO WE ARE: Standout comedy

To discuss which DVDs have the best extras, go to The Tribal Mind

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 11/5/2008
Whenever Australians are asked to describe the core characteristics of this nation, two phrases keep coming up: "laidback attitude" and "sense of humour", which together add up to an eagerness to laugh at ourselves. It's no surprise, then, that the most successful locally made programs in the history of television have been comedies.

In recent weeks this column has been trying to bring some order to the chaos that is Australia's taste in entertainment. I've chronicled our favourite movies, most successful actors and most watched TV shows, and sought your votes on whether the most popular were necessarily the most significant. After last week's column, which identified the top dramas of all time as Homicide, Blue Heelers, All Saints and Home and Away, many readers complained that I had left out, in order of importance, Wildside, The Sullivans, Phoenix, Flying Doctors, Bellbird, Matlock, MDA, Love My Way, Cop Shop, Stingers and Blue Murder.

No doubt there will be similar outcries about what's missing from the list below, which is an attempt to rank the comedies which had both high ratings and long life. Once again quantity is not necessarily the same as quality, but this is designed to get the conversation started ...

The most watched Australian comedies of all time:
1 Hey Dad (1984-94)
2 The Paul Hogan Show (1973-1982)
3 Kath and Kim (2002- )
4 The Comedy Company (1988-1991)
5 The Normal Gunston Show (1975-79)
6 The Mavis Bramston Show (1964-68)
7 Fast Forward/ Full Frontal (1989-1998)
8 Mother and Son (1984-1994)
9 Thank God You're Here (2006-)
10 The Chaser team under various titles (2002-)
11 All Aussie Adventures (2001-03)
12 Frontline (1994-97)
13 Summer Heights High (2007)
14 Kingswood Country (1979-1984)
15 The Naked Vicar Show (1977-78)
16 The D Generation (1986-89)
17 My Name's McGooley, What's Yours (1967-69)
18 Acropolis Now (1989-1992)
19 The Aunty Jack Show (1972-75)
20 The Games (1998-2000)

(I sneaked the last one in because I'm hoping John Clarke will do a version for this year, although the Olympics are probably too close now for it to be feasible.)

It's interesting to note from the chart that Australia's favourite form of TV comedy leans more towards sketches than to sitcoms (which we tend to leave to the experts - America). Even series that purport to be sitcoms were mostly born out of sketches and are structured as fast scenes rather than continuous narratives - Kingswood Country grew from The Naked Vicar Show, Kath and Kim from Fast Forward, My Name's McGooley from a Gordon Chater character in The Mavis Bramston Show, Acropolis Now from Wogs Out of Work on stage.

This may lead you to the view that Australians should add a third quality when they are attempting to describe the national character - along with our laid back attitude and our sense of humour, Australians have a terribly short attention span. Which is no bad thing, since it gives us an ability to multi-task and an enthusiasm for new ideas.

If you'd care to discuss that, or nominate other shows that deserve a place in the Australian TV comedy hall of fame, go to Comments

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind, in Who We Are, in whoweare-index at 02:35 PM
• Comments (61)

The Who We Are update: Week 20

This week of the ratings blog is now history. For the latest discussion, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
To discuss the psychological damage caused by Louie The Fly, go to The Tribal Mind.
To nominate the greatest Australian TV drama of all time, go to Who We Are.

What Australia watched, Saturday
Description Total Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Adelaide Perth
1 SEVEN NEWS - SAT Seven 1,320,000 352,000 404,000 253,000 159,000 150,000
2 HALL OF FAME TRIBUTE MATCH Ten 1,317,000 112,000 676,000 101,000 204,000 225,000
3 AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEO SHOW Nine 1,160,000 368,000 353,000 203,000 117,000 119,000
4 NINE NEWS SATURDAY Nine 1,136,000 320,000 404,000 198,000 126,000 89,000
5 BED OF ROSES ABC 1,071,000 307,000 335,000 201,000 91,000 137,000
6 THE GREAT OUTDOORS Seven 951,000 277,000 283,000 209,000 91,000 91,000
7 ABC NEWS-SAT ABC 920,000 274,000 285,000 179,000 74,000 108,000
8 THE VICAR OF DIBLEY Seven 882,000 243,000 220,000 176,000 110,000 134,000
9 M-INDEPENDENCE DAY Seven 839,000 275,000 218,000 143,000 108,000 95,000
10 ABC NEWS UPDATE ABC 729,000 230,000 203,000 140,000 62,000 94,000
11 FAWLTY TOWERS Seven 727,000 209,000 204,000 161,000 77,000 77,000
12 GARDENING AUSTRALIA ABC 727,000 183,000 250,000 129,000 94,000 70,000
13 THE BILL ABC 707,000 215,000 194,000 142,000 54,000 103,000
Continued here

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 10:06 AM
• Comments (56)

The Tribal Mind: Time flies

To nominate the greatest Australian TV drama of all time, go to Who We Are.

by David Dale
Psychologists tell us that people are likely to develop mental health problems if they are exposed to contradictory messages throughout their childhood. When dad encourages certain behaviour while mum encourages the opposite, the kid grows up emotionally conflicted.

If this is true, Australians are heading for a national nervous breakdown, because for 50 years we've been been torn apart by these fundamental questions: How are we supposed to feel about Louie The Fly? Do they want us to love him or kill him? And if we do kill him, should we feel guilty? Or can we take comfort in the fact that he keeps being resurrected, which makes him a Christ-like figure? Unless it's a new Louie who reappears each time, which makes him more like Australia's favourite comicbook hero: The Phantom, Ghost who walks, insect who never dies.

Or if we prefer to seek a non-mystical explanation for Louie's durability, could it be that Mortein is not as effective as the advertising suggests? And if we suspect this, should we feel guilty for doubting an icon?

These disturbing echoes from my childhood came crashing back last week when I read the latest ACNielsen report on Australia's favourite brands. Every two years ACNielsen's boffins do a survey of the products most purchased in supermarkets, and this year they announced gleefully that Mortein had re-entered the top 100 chart (which was topped by the likes of Winfield cigarettes, Coca-Cola, Tip Top bread and Cadbury chocolates).

A report on the Nielsen website says Mortein "competes in a cluttered sector against heavyhitters Bagon and Raid. Setting Mortein aside from the competition is the much-loved Louie the Fly character ... Despite being in the market for over five decades, Louie looks better than ever, thanks to new animation technologies. A tactical campaign launched late last year asked consumers to help stop Louie the Fly from celebrating his 50th birthday."

So he's "much loved" and we're expected to kill him? The same moral ambiguity pervades the original jingle: "One spray and Louie The Fly, apple of his poor mother's eye, was Louie, poor dead Louie, a victim of Mortein". How is a kid supposed to react to that? The same way kids reacted to the slaughter of pigs in the movie Babe, one would imagine.

Supposedly the creator of LTF was Bryce Courtenay, who had recently escaped the apartheid regime in South Africa when he wrote the jingle for the Hansen Rubensohn advertising agency in 1957.

It's been argued that LTF fits into the same national mindset that enables us to perceive Ned Kelly as simultaneously a villain and a hero -- an affection for the non-conformist that goes back to convict days.

I can't help wondering if Courtenay, who went on to become the most successful author in Australia's history, had deeper symbolism in mind. Could it be that the way LTF is viewed in this country reflects the ambiguity in our relationship with the continent's original inabitants? Some of the white invaders regarded the Aboriginal people as pests, and set about trying to exterminate them, leaving a residue of guilt that has not been entirely expiated in 200 years.

Few TV commercials -- indeed, few TV programs -- offer so many layers of interpretation. LTF might just be Courtenay's most powerful work.

What do you make of Louie's image as a national icon?

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 10:41 AM
• Comments (5)

WHO WE ARE: Dramatic irony

To discuss the psychological damage caused by Louie The Fly, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 4/5/2008
Australians no longer love to see their own stories on the big screen, but on the small screen, they're just besotted with themselves.

Advance orders for the DVD of the series Underbelly suggest it could top the 250,000 copies sold since November by Summer Heights High. Among TV dramas last year, City Homicide and Sea Patrol outrated the US behemoths Desperate Housewives and House.

Among the 100 top selling DVDs of the past three years, there are only two Australian films -- Kenny and Happy Feet (described by its director, George Miller, as an "international movie") -- but four Australian TV series: Summer Heights High, Thank God You're Here, Kath and Kim and McLeod's Daughters.

It's time to celebrate our heritage on the box and seek your view on what were the greatest Australian TV dramas of all time (I'll save the comedies for next week). Recently readers of this column have voted on the greatest Australian movies (Chopper, Lantana, and Breaker Morant) and the greatest Australian actors (Cate Blanchett, Geoffrey Rush, and Hugo Weaving, though some readers scolded me for failing to nominate Judy Davis, Rachel Griffiths, Wendy Hughes, Bryan Brown, Richard Roxburgh, Peter Finch, and Errol Flynn). Now it's the telly's turn.

As I've pointed out already, quantity is not the same as quality. Top rating doesn't always mean most significant. But popularity and longevity give us a basis for discussion. I calculated a "success index" for all the major Australian series of the past 50 years, by multiplying the average audience in the mainland capitals by the number of years the show was broadcast.

Thus Blue Heelers, which varied between 2 million and 1.3 million over its 12 year life, got a success index of 20. Home and Away has averaged just under a million over its 20 years, and scored 19.

Problems only arise when we go back to years when ratings data was less reliable and expressed in terms of percentage of sets in use rather than number of viewers. Homicide, for example, played for 11 years and at its peak was reaching 40 per cent of viewers in Sydney and Melbourne -- a feat which would be the equivalent of rating 2 million these days. So its index was an estimate, and I'm confessing upfront that this chart is more art than science. But it's a start ...

The most successful Australian TV dramas of all time
1 Homicide (1964-1975)
2 Blue Heelers (1994-2006)
3 All Saints (1998-)
4 Home and Away (1988-)
5 McLeod's Daughters (2001-2008)
6 A Country Practice (1981-1993)
7 Water Rats (1996-2001)
8 Prisoner (1979-1987)
9 Division 4 (1969-1974)
10 The Secret Life of Us (2001-2004)
11 Seachange (1998-2000)
12 Number 96 (1972-1976)
13 Neighbours (1986-)
14 A Town Like Alice (1981)
15 Against the Wind (1978)

What did I miss? And which of those make you most proud to be Australian? Click on Comments to join the discussion ...

• by David Dale in whoweare-index at 02:21 PM
• Comments (62)

The TV shows Australia loved

This contains charts of the most watched programs of the 20th and 21st centuries, prepared by David Dale and based on data from OzTAM and ACNielsen. Last updated May 15, 2008. For the latest media trends, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare

Chart 1. The top shows since 2001
Based on OzTAM's audience estimates for the mainland capitals. Series figures are for the most watched episode of the year.
1 Tennis: Aus Open final - Hewitt v Safin 2005 (7) 4.04 million
2 Rugby World Cup final 2003 (7) 4.01 million
3 Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony 2006 (9) 3.56m
4 AFL Grand Final 2005 (10) 3.39m
5 Australian Idol Final Verdict 2004 (10) 3.35m
6 Australian Idol final 2003 (10) 3.30 m
7 AFL Grand Final 2006 (10) 3.15m
8 The Block auction 2003 (9) 3.11 m
9 September 11 reportage, September 12, 2001 (9, 7, ABC) 3.10 m
10 Tennis: Wimbledon day 14 2001 (9) 3.04 m
11 AFL grand final 2003 (10) 2.96 m
12 Big Brother winner announced 2004 (10) 2.86m
13 Australian Idol Live from Opera House 2004 (10) 2.86 m
To read and discuss the complete charts, go to The culture

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 09:00 PM
• Comments (18)

The films Australia loved

List of the 125 highest-grossing movies of all time, and list of the 65 movies seen by the greatest number of Australians, prepared by David Dale from data provided by the Motion Picture Distributors Association of Australia. Last updated May 15, 2008.

For the latest media trends, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare

Chart 1: The Australian box office
1. Titanic (1997) $58 million
2. Shrek 2 (2004) $50m
3. The Return of the King (2003) $49m
4. Crocodile Dundee (1986) $48m
5. Fellowship of the Ring (2001) $47m
6. The Two Towers (2002) $46m
7. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001) $42m
8. Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace (1999) $39m
9. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006) $38 m
10. Babe (1995) $37m
11. Finding Nemo (2003) $37m
To read and discuss the complete charts, go to The culture

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 09:00 PM
• Comments (15)

The music Australia loved

For the latest media trends, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare/.

Lists of top selling albums and most successful performers, prepared by David Dale and last updated February 29, 2008.

The top selling albums of the past 12 years
1 Come On Over (Shania Twain)
2 Jagged Little Pill (Alanis Morissette)
3 Innocent Eyes (Delta Goodrem)
4 Savage Garden (Savage Garden)
5 Falling Into You (Celine Dion)
6 Abba Gold (Abba)
7 Immaculate Collection (Madonna)
8 Recurring Dream (Crowded House)
9 Come Away With Me (Norah Jones)
10 Forgiven Not Forgotten (The Corrs)
11 Yourself or Someone Like You (Matchbox 20)
12 Forrest Gump (Soundtrack)
13 The Very Best of (The Eagles)
14 1 (The Beatles)
15 Affirmation (Savage Garden)
16 The Eminem Show (Eminem)
To read and discuss the complete charts, go to The culture

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 01:10 AM
• Comments (33)

The DVDs Australia loved

To find out if you are suitable to be an Australian citizen, go to Who We Are
For the latest media trends, go to http://blogs.sunherald.com.au/whoweare.
List of most most purchased DVDs since 1998, prepared by David Dale, using data from GFK Marketing. Last updated February 29, 2008.

Top selling DVDs of all time
1. Finding Nemo (2004)
2 The Two Towers (2003)
3 Fellowship of the Ring (2002)
4 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2003)
5 Shrek 2 (2004)
6 Return of the King (2004)
7 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
8 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2006)
9 Pirates of the Caribbean (2004)
10 Indiana Jones Box Set (2003)
To read and discuss the complete charts, go to The culture

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 12:10 AM
• Comments (2)

The Tribal Mind: The envelopes please

by David Dale
It's Logies week, when Australian television celebrates a year of excellence. It's also Bogies week, when Australian viewers vent their rage for decades of being taken for granted. This column asked for your nominations and then your verdict, and 132 readers responded. In a totally transparent process (which you can observe by going here) the voting went like this ...

Most annoying person. Mike Munro got 3 votes; Sonia Kruger 3; Bindi Irwin 6; Andrew O'Keefe 9; David Koch 20. And the winner, with 54 votes, is Kyle Sandilands.

Most offputting commercial. The Coco Pops ad in which two turds with French accents harass a housewife 7; "the one where the girl is accompanied by a beaver" 18; "the one where the tongue leaves the body in search of a drink" 29. And the winner, with 30 votes, is the series of Commonwealth Bank ads, particularly the Mad Max koala.

Most unnecessary program. 20 to 1 3; The Mint 5; Rules of Engagement 7; The Power of Ten 12; Animal Emergency 19. And the winner, with 29 votes, is Out of the Question.

Most unnecessary personality. Lara Bingle 3; Grant Denyer 5; Karl Stefanovic 7; Candice Falzon 10; Richard Reid (gossip reporter for Nine's Today) 10; The Sunrise "family" 22. And the winner, with 35 votes, is Jackie O.

Most unnecessary adaptation of an overseas show. Big Brother 3; 60 Minutes 4; The Chopping Block 4. And the winner, with 39 votes, before it has even started, is Top Gear Australia.

Most overhyped. Desperate Housewives 2; Border Security 2; Underbelly 2; The Moment of Truth 3; the Neighbours relaunch 3; Dirty Sexy Money 4; Australia's Next Top Model 7; Big Brother 8; Grey's Anatomy 16. And the winner, with 36 votes, is Cashmere Mafia.

Most Underrated. Nip/ Tuck 2; Robin Hood 2; Jekyll 2; Brothers and Sisters 2; Burn Notice 5; 30 Rock 6; Lost 7; East-West 101 9; Big Love 11; Boston Legal 18; Newstopia 19. And the winner, with 24 votes, is Life on Mars.

Most jerked around by the networks. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles 2; Torchwood 2; Family Guy 2; The Sopranos 2; Battlestar Galactica 3; Stargate 4; 30 Rock 5; ER 6; Veronica Mars 7; Weeds 9. And the winner, with 32 votes, is Scrubs.

Most missed. Doctor Who 2; The Sopranos 2; Buffy 2; Uninterrupted programs on SBS 4; The Glasshouse 4; The Games 5; The West Wing 6; Summer Heights High 6. And the winner, with 36 votes, is The Chaser's War on Everything.

Most repeated. Mean Girls 2; MASH 2; About a Boy 3; Border Security 3; anything with Gordon Ramsay 4; Friends 4; Bridget Jones 9; CSI 12; Love Actually 13. And the winner, with 29 votes, is The Simpsons.

Worst network. SBS 3; Seven 10; Ten 10. And the winner, with 59 votes, is Channel Nine.

Most surprisingly smooth skin. Juanita Phillips 4; Anne Sanders 5; Marcia Cross 5; Catriona Rowntree 5; Richard Reid 8; Sigrid Thornton 11; Sandra Sully 15. And the winner, with 16 votes, is Kerri-Anne Kennerly.

Most embarrassing program (the Naomi Robson Cup). The Sunrise special with Guy Sebastian 6; My Kid's A Star 7; The Mint 7; The Biggest Loser 8; The Wedge 8; Monster House 10; The Footy Show 18; And the joint winners, each with 22 votes, are Today Tonight and A Current Affair.

Furthest past use-by date (the Bert Newton Trophy). Catriona Rowntree 2; Barry Humphries (in any incarnation) 3; Ray Martin 6; Paul Vautin 8; Sam Newman 12; Kyle and Jackie O 14; Richard Wilkins 16. And the winner, with 21 votes, is Daryl Somers.

The Black Bogie (the Eddie McGuire Chalice). David Koch 25; Richard Wilkins 28. And the winner, with 39 votes, is Kyle Sandilands.

And a special award for the reader who made the greatest contribution is shared between Grant James, who suggested the idea of The Bogies, and Patricia, who wrote:

"How bitchy some people can be! How do they know about all these programs and presenters they dislike if they don't watch them? 'Unnecessary' programs and personalities can be controlled by the off switch - it's very simple! I haven't watched Animal Emergency but anything that increases compassion to the other inhabitants of our planet sounds like a good idea to me. I enjoyed The Chaser but it was due for a break as nothing is more tiring bordering on dangerous than tired satire. SBS is great, though you have to select programs. Leave beautiful clever Juanita alone. Most of all there are other things to do beside watching telly - find out about some of them!"

Let that be a lesson to you.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 10:32 AM
• Comments (23)

WHO WE ARE: The biggest stars in the southern sky

For the results of The Bogie Awards 2008, go to The Tribal Mind.

A column about Australia by David Dale, published in The Sun-Herald, 27/4/2008
Alright, if we can't agree on what is the greatest Australian movie ever made, perhaps we can agree on who is the greatest Australian actor. Last week this column sought your reaction to a remark by a spokesman for the prime minister that "without doubt" the best Australian movie ever made was The Man from Snowy River (despite the fact that 70 minutes go by before there is any movement at the station).

Most readers disagreed with the PM, but after that, the consensus broke down. Obviously this column's readers represent a fair sample of the Australian cinemagoing community, and that community has diverse tastes. This was how the voting went: 1 Chopper; 2 Lantana; 3 Breaker Morant; 4 Gallipoli; 5 Picnic at Hanging Rock; 6 The Castle; 7 Mad Max; 8 Muriel's Wedding; 9 Wake in Fright; 10 Don's Party; 11 A Town Like Alice; 12 The Club; 13 Kenny; 14 Romper Stomper; 15 Bad Boy Bubby.

Most of these films are more than 10 years old. As many readers remarked, Australian flicks these days are perceived as a reason not to go to the cinema. But we continue to admire our own actors, and it might be possible to achieve more agreement on who is the best of them.

As I remarked last week, box office success is not the same as quality, but to get you started, here's a list of the Australians who have been in movies which sold the most tikets around the world. (Pedant warning: In compiling this list, I have defined Australian as "spent the formative years of their career in this country". There is no need to tell me Russell Crowe was born in New Zealand, Sam Neill in Northern Ireland, Mel Gibson in New York, Nicole Kidman in Hawaii, Naomi Watts and Guy Pearce in Britain, and Hugo Weaving in Nigeria. This is a nation of immigrants.)

The most successful Australian actors of all time
1 Hugo Weaving (biggest international moneymakers included the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Matrix trilogy and Australian work includes Priscilla, Little Fish, The Interview, and Proof).
2 Geoffrey Rush (Pirates of the Caribbean, Munich, Shakespeare in Love, Shine, Lantana, Ned Kelly, Candy).
3 Mel Gibson (What Women Want, Braveheart, Lethal Weapon, Mad Max, The Year of Living Dangerously, Gallipoli, Tim)
4 Sam Neill (Jurassic Park, Bicentennial Man, The Hunt For Red October, The Piano, My Brilliant Career, The Dish, Sirens, Little Fish, Dead Calm)
5 Nicole Kidman (The Golden Compass, Bewitched, The Hours, The Others, Batman Forever, To Die For, Days of Thunder, Moulin Rouge, Dead Calm, BMX Bandits)
6 Russell Crowe (Gladiator, American Gangster, Master and Commander, A Beautiful Mind, LA Confidential, The Sum of Us, Romper Stomper, Proof)
7 Cate Blanchett (Lord of the Rings, Elizabeth, The Aviator, Babel, Notes on a Scandal, Little Fish, Oscar and Lucinda. Discussing her latest film, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Steven Spielberg said last week: "She's a very threatening villain. Of all the villains I've been able to work with in the Indiana Jones movies, I can say she's my favorite. And I think Cate made her that way. We gave her a template for this, but she invented the character.")
8 Eric Bana (Troy, Munich, Hulk, Black Hawk Down, Romulus My Father, Chopper, The Castle)
9 Toni Collette (The 6th Sense; Little Miss Sunshine, About A Boy, Muriel's Wedding, Japanese Story, The Black Balloon).
10 Hugh Jackman (X-Men, Van Helsing, Swordfish, Deception, Erskineville Kings, Paperback Hero.)
11 Paul Hogan (Crocodile Dundee, Strange Bedfellows)
12 Guy Pearce (Death Defying Acts, The Time Machine, Memento, LA Confidential, The Proposition,The Hard Word, Priscilla.)
13 Naomi Watts (King Kong, The Ring, Mulholland Drive, Ned Kelly, Gross Misconduct.)
14 Heath Ledger (Casanova, Brokeback Mountain, A Knight's Tale, Ned Kelly, Two Hands, Candy.)
15 Jack Thompson (Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, Man From Snowy River, Breaker Morant, Sunday Too Far Away, Wake In Fright.)

Have I missed anybody? And is there a clear winner amongst that lot? Go to Comments to vote.

To learn about our all-time favourites from every country, go to The Films Australia loved

• by David Dale in Who We Are at 12:19 AM
• Comments (55)

The Tribal Mind: Vive les differences

To discuss the best Australian movie ever made, go to Who We Are

by David Dale
We know they say port when they mean suitcase and togs when they mean cossies, but otherwise, Brisbane people are just a sunnier version of Sydney people, aren't they? We know they have a frontier mentality and money coming out their ears, but are Perth people intrinsically different from Adelaide people? They watch a weird kind of football and have cafes we want to copy, but does anything else distinguish Melburnians from Sydneysiders? Answers: no, yes and yes -- you need only look at their tastes in television.

Our topic today is regional differences. Australia is not supposed to have any that matter. But when you compare the top rated programs in each capital, you find a wealth of opportunities for speculation.

Sydney people, for example, love to see Melbourne people getting shot. The number one show in this town every week is Underbelly (which Melbourne is not allowed to see). Melburnians, by contrast, love to see waiters being sworn at. Their top show is Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, about which Brisbane couldn't give a flying f--- and other capitals are lukewarm.

The southerners are also much keener than the rest of us on Jamie At Home, with the politer London chef Jamie Oliver. And possibly as a consequence, The Biggest Loser gets its best ratings in Melbourne.

Perth people clearly worry that the country is about to be invaded by drug dealers, exotic diseases and bacteria-laden foodstuffs -- their favourite of the week is a repeat of Border Security. Brisbane and Adelaide compensate for their distance from the political and business action by being better informed - their most watched show each week is Seven's Sunday news.

The differences go deeper than the top spot. Melbourne and Sydney love the black comedy of Desperate Housewives, while other capitals prefer the grim determination of Sea Patrol (which fits with their paranoid passion for Border Security).

Can we reach a conclusion about Sydney's shallowness from the fact that it is much less interested in Andrew Denton's interviews than Melbourne and Adelaide, but keener on Gladiators (while Melbourne prefers the subtlety of So You Think You Can Dance Australia)? And Sydney was where the disastrous My Kid's a Star did best. But for all its glitz, Sydney has a domestic side - Better Homes and Gardens does better here than in any other capital.

While Melbourne loves The Simpsons, aristocratic Adelaide is the heartland for My Name is Earl (wanting to see how the other half lives?) as well as Samantha Who? and Good News Week. Adelaide is also the town that supports SCU: Surious Cresh Unut - which may be because they understand the New Zealand eccent better (get a South Australian to say fish and chips).

The pressure of all that mineral money must be getting to Perth people. They like The Real Seachange more than all the other capitals - and they can afford to take one.

Click on Comments to give us your interpretation of the national taste deviations.

• by David Dale in The Tribal Mind at 04:11 PM
• Comments (1)