The Sun-Herald

Socceroos can't beat big business

THE cancellation of the Socceroos' friendly match with Argentina was more complicated than originally thought, Parrot's Buenos Aires office reports.

Last year, the Argentina Football Association sold to a Russian company called Renova for $US18 million ($21.8m) the rights to 24 friendly matches until 2011. A contract clause gave Renova the right to name 30 players for the games, of which six must play. The catch: coach Alfio Basile has stubbornly built a team of home-based players for the Copa America. Renova was unhappy with that but had also booked the supposed superstar team to play Switzerland in Basel on June 2, four days before the planned MCG clash. Basile didn't want to take a round-the-world flight and, so, the MCG lights were turned off.

Culina's signed, right?
HAS Branko Culina really signed a contract to be Sydney FC's permanent new coach or is this all a cruel hoax? We ask because the owner of Romanian club Steaua Bucharest has confessed that a contract coach Cosmin Olaroiu recently signed before TV cameras was fake. "It was a bluff aimed to give peace to my players and the coach," owner Gigi Becali said. "The document we signed was an old contract. We don't need a new written contract." That wouldn't happen in Sydney, would it? Answer: no. Even if Culina should have got the job two years ago.

Mum to the rescue
CHELSEA star Michael Essien was arrested for drink-driving on Tuesday after cops pulled him over at 5am. Essien was suspended for the midweek Champs League game with Liverpool so spent the build-up in a nightclub instead of the training pitch. The Ghanaian denied being over the legal limit but the incident caused Chelsea's spin machine to go into overdrive. "He is a very quiet young man who reads the Bible and spends more than an hour a day on the phone to his mum," claimed an unnamed Chelsea "source", suggesting religion and your mum will always beat a nightclub in a game of paper, rock and scissors.

Jose lets fly with facts
IN unsurprising news, Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho blasted referee Markus Merk for failing to give his team a penalty against Liverpool during the midweek Champs League kickaround, which the London side won 1-0. "I don't understand how we don't have penalties," Mourinho moaned. "When the penalties are so clear, I don't understand. I go for the facts and it's a fact." Liverpool's Alvaro Arbeloa clearly did handle the ball in the incident that angered Mourinho. Except he was almost a metre outside the penalty box. Rafael Benitez, sarcastically, backed his rival: "If Jose says it was a penalty, I am sure it was a penalty."

A quick word with . . .
MANCHESTER City boss Stuart Pearce (pictured), a little annoyed at heckling from Blues supporters: "The next time I go to the theatre, I'm going to let some thespians have it. It might make me feel better and then I'll claim I pay their wages when I leave."

Not so Keane on Sydney
REMEMBER old pal Dwight Yorke? Don't get too sentimental. Sunderland, whom Yorke controver-sially joined from Sydney, could win the Cham-pionship (England's second division) this season, handing Yorke success he apparently couldn't find elsewhere. At least, that's what Sunderland boss Roy Keane suggests. "He won a League Cup at Villa, I'll give him that, but that's the League Cup, isn't it?" Keane said. "He didn't win too much at Birmingham and Blackburn and you can't count Sydney, can you?" Ouch. Forget the myth that leaving the A-League was a wrench for Yorke. "I didn't hesitate when [Keane called]," he confessed to British media. "Although I did give it at least a day before I answered, just to keep him sweating."

BECKS BIDDING GOODBYE TO BERNABEU
BECKSMANIA'S days in Madrid are fast fluttering away and the old sock is getting sentimental. "For me, playing at the Bernabeu is one of the best feelings in the world," he said of his old home. "I always loved playing at the Bernabeu and, when I look back, playing [there] will be the highlight except for wearing the famous white shirt." Highlight, indeed, mainly because Real failed to win anything during Becksmania's four-year confinement. Except, just maybe, this season when the Spanish title will go to the wire. Coincidentally, it's a season in which Beckham has had a lesser role to play.

• by Matthew Hall at 01:52 PM
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Managers in mutual admiration society

JOSE Mourinho is not quite best pals with Roman Abramovich, his Russian boss, but the Chelsea manager can claim Man United rival Alex Ferguson as a friend.

If the idea of the two top coaches busily sending text messages to each other seems alien, well, look out for UFOs. The coaches sent each other congratulatory messages after Man U and Chelsea both qualified for the Champs League semi-finals. "I like Jose, we get on fine," Ferguson said, admitting their media biffs are just fun and games.

Julio wants sun action
JULIO Baptista, on loan at Arsenal from Real Madrid, has explained just why he might be an occasional Arse player rather than a fully fledged Highbury (the Gunners do still play at Highbury) superstar. Here, in full, his review of life in England: "The weather over here is killing me. We'll get one day of sunshine for every 30 days of rain and it is driving me to despair. My girlfriend and my mother are frightened about not seeing the sun in England. Premiership football is very hard. I am Brazilian and I enjoy playing the ball, making clever touches, and taking bicycle kicks. Arsene Wenger does not forbid me from doing them but the game is so fast I don't even have time to think about them. The moment you stop to think, someone has taken the ball off you and knocked you to the ground. Over here they value a corner kick more than a fancy flick."

Elton in, Inverness out
INVERNESS Caledonian Thistle's campaign for the Intertoto Cup next season has ended before it began. The Scottish side decided not to enter the Euro summer kickaround (which gives semi-finalists access to the UEFA Cup) because an Elton John concert is booked for their ground on one of the proposed match days.

Sexism strikes in '07
COMMENTATOR Jacqui Oatley made history, of sorts, when she got behind the microphone for the BBC's legendary Match Of The Day program to call Blackburn's game at Fulham on Saturday. She also ruffled a few feathers. "I am totally against it and everybody I know in football is totally against it," raged former Wimbledon manager Dave Bassett, who might need to get out more. Others from the 1800s were similarly outraged. Steve Curry from the Daily Mail punched into his clanking typewriter (or was he using a quill pen?): "I am from the old school when football press boxes and commentary positions were men-only locations. The thought of a female commenting on football was abhorrent." Oatley, a former amateur player, is not alone. Julie Foudy, a former US international, is a commentator for US network ESPN's World Cup and Major League Soccer coverage. Fox Sports and SBS - over to you.

See it to believe it
YOUR schedule today, after you finish reading the paper: 1. Briskly walk to your computer. 2. Type in this address on an internet web browser: www.tn.com.ar/mm.aspx?id=691567. 3. Watch mighty midget Lionel Messi's Maradona-esque goal for Barcelona during the week (and, yes, that's Terry Butcher getting the run-around by Maradona). 4. Breathe in. 5. Type in www.youtube.com and search for Enzo Zidane, Zizou's son. 6. Watch clip and shake head in disbelief. 7. Enjoy the rest of the day.

Evra in awe of Ronaldo
MANCHESTER United defender Patrice Evra is a lucky man. He gets to face wizard-like teammate Cristiano Ronaldo every day in training but is on the same side in matches. "Nobody can stop him," Evra said. "Probably the only way to do it is to kill him. Even when he's sitting on a bike, Cristiano is doing tricks. He eats with the ball, he watches TV with the ball. He probably even sleeps with the ball." Kids, try that at home.

The great escape
FORGOTTEN Brazilian legend (unless you watch Olympiakos on Greek satellite TV every week) Rivaldo was given a red card for punching the goalkeeper of opponents Larissa in their 0-0 draw last weekend. The former Barcelona star escaped a suspension, claiming he had punched the ball, held in the goalkeeper's arms, rather than the face of the Larissa keeper. "Many players have tried to engage me into a fight but I never fell for it," Rivaldo, who FIFA fined for play-acting at the 2002 World Cup, told the Greek FA in his defence.

BRICKS AND HAMMERS
LET'S all give thanks to Reverend Frank Lampard (pictured) for offering perspective and forgiveness in times of crisis. Sort of. Chelsea's team bus had a brick thrown through its window on the way to West Ham's ground on Wednesday night but Reverend Lamps bore no grudge. "It's football - it happens," said Lampard, a former Hammer. "There are emotions. West Ham are fighting for their lives." Well, not really. Unless relegation equals death.

• by Matthew Hall at 01:54 PM
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