The Sun-Herald

That's what friends are for

This week I attended the launch of Meet My Friend, a social networking website on which people recommend their single friends to other singles. Great idea.

The site is taking off fast and has a refreshing absence of hackneyed dating service language; there's no mention of love or 'finding the one,' or really any pressure at all to do anything except have fun and mingle.
It's reassuring, too, to proceed into the dating unknown armed with a third party endorsement; with a friend's recommendation you can be sure a person isn't knocking 10 years off their age or hiding a fondness for Mariah Carey.
The site reminded me of a less sensible one based in the US that I came across while researching a singles story a couple of years back. It was called Greatboyfriends.com and was a trading place for used boyfriends - a dating service ''where every single man comes with a woman's stamp of approval". There were pages of blokes up for grabs with nicknames such as Marathon Man and Mr Broad Shoulders, all glowingly recommended by females: ex-girlfriends, 'good friends' and sometimes even mothers or ex-wives. "He is the nice guy that your mom will love and at the same time he can Rock Your World (sic) when he gets you back to his bedroom," said one satisfied ex in her cast-off man's blurb.
The site was supposed to be about female solidarity and sold itself on the premise you can trust your fellow woman.
Of course you can. Just ask Princess Diana (cable TV holds regular séances), Jerry Hall, anyone who's ever bought a miracle face cream from a cosmetics salesgirl or been assured by a shop assistant that yes, the jeans look great from behind. We all know the unpalatable truth: women look nice, but often aren't. We are competitive, acquisitive, aggressive - just like men. The difference is, blokes don't hide it.
Each purveyor of a pre-loved man talked up the size of his bank balance and how much he loved his mum, but none answered the obvious question: if he was so fabulous, why didn't she want him?
Some unwittingly gave clues, like the woman who listed her ex's attributes (steady job, doesn't play games, dresses well) then followed up by saying she herself was now looking for a 'non-freak' to date, "but I don't think they exist."
I just wasn't convinced by Greatboyfriends.com. I reckoned these women were offloading unwanted goods or worse still, there were more sinister forces at play. I was particularly suspicious of the girls flogging their 'platonic friends', with pictures of them together, a proprietorial tone and intimate details. They seemed to be staking some sort of claim. My favourite was: 'He's crazy about... his family, his pets ... and me." Very tempting: one new boyfriend with soulmate included.
There's something just too cosy, too civilized, too damn creepy, about passing on your past loves. I don't believe for one moment all these relationships ended amicably. I also know, deep down, that women keep the good ones for themselves. It's the first question you ask when a single girlfriend recommends a man: have you dated him? And if so, what's wrong with him?
Anyway, I went back to greatboyfriends.com this week to see how it was faring. The site has now been changed to a similar concept to Meet My Friend, with recommendations from both sexes and mainly friends. I couldn't find anyone on there recommended by an ex. I rest my case.