Amy Cooper
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Animal attraction
My dog Zach's friends, George, Martin, Frank and Dave all have human-sounding names. They have single, female owners, too and I wonder if there's a connection.
Are these pooches human family replacements in a part of the city where singledom and sole occupancy prevails?
Certainly, I'm so devoted to my dog I've been asked if he's a child substitute. He isn't - he's a dog, but I can see the attraction of that concept if you want to save on school fees and avoid all the worry about emos and Internet gatecrashers. Then again, I still think making children is more fun than buying dogs. On balance.
Two of my friends claim their choice of plain, bloke names for their canines is protection against a feared stereotype. Perhaps it all began with Mrs Slocombe and her pussy, or maybe we can blame Bridget Jones (I blame her for most things - she even gave Chardonnay a bad name), who feared she'd die alone and be found half-eaten by an Alsatian, but pets and single women do seem destined to attract more than their share of ridicule.
Cats, especially, are treated as some sort of dirty secret and many women would rather reveal the existence of a dungeon in the basement or a collection of those dolls that fit over toilet rolls than a feline housemate. "People assume if you have a cat on your lap, you've got a rabbit boiling in the kitchen," says one very sane, Persian-owning friend.
It doesn't seem fair that people remember Mrs Slocombe and her pussy in Are You Being Served? but conveniently forget crazy, cat-stroking Dr No in the James Bond movies. Or that no-one thought it strange when my friend Iain used to share his bed with a giant rabbit called Attila the Bun, but eyebrows are raised when a local lady takes her Chihuahua, Frank Sinatra, for a walk in his Versace-inspired wet-weather ensemble (all right, that is a bit much. In fact it's unforgivable and heinous). When a man bonds with Flipper, Skippy or Lassie, it's the stuff of prime-time TV adventure. When women and pets appear, it's the witching hour or a bad sitcom.
As someone who's fond of men and animals, I'm baffled by the notion you can't have both. Sometimes, in bleaker moments, I've wondered if it reflects a more general resentment of the close bonds women form with their kids, friends and families. Women who love a lot are always judged more harshly than passionate men. They're more likely to be branded wacky, scary or even dangerous. And although today's blokes are more comfortable with their feelings than ever before, we still applaud every emotional display - even if it's just whistling to the budgie - as a step up the evolutionary ladder.
Anyway, bet you didn't know this: Czechoslovakian scientists have discovered a parasite passed on by cats can change women's behaviour so they feel sexy, desirable and adventurous. If their findings are true, those old ladies with 12 moggies and dotty reputations are probably juggling so many toyboys they're simply having trouble remembering what day it is.
So far, there's no antidote for the bug, and I'm not sure there should be. If man, woman and cat can live in greater harmony, then there's hope for all species.
In the meantime, you can lend your support to that Utopian vision and, more importantly, the people who help animals who aren't loved as much as Zach, Dave, George, Frank and Martin by heading to the RSPCA's Paws for Celebration Dinner on Friday July 20th, at Doltone House in Pyrmont.
It'll be full of animal people of both genders, and one of the best-known supporters of the event is TV personality Laura Csortan, who's an owner and foster parent to rescue dogs as well as a pretty decent ambassador for single girls with furry families.
With a 'walk on the wild side' theme, it's the perfect setting for some animated discussion of all of the above. See you there.
COMMENTS
I've wondered if it reflects a more general resentment of the close bonds women form with their kids, friends and families.
-Yep, it could well be just another one of those double standards - like single men who have pets are considered more human or something, more in touch with their emotions (i.e. it is seen as a desirable trait), but if women share their households with animals, and they happen to be single this is seen as somehow a substitute because they could not 'find a man'...
Ahhh but didn't you know, there's still a albeit fading legacy of distrust of long-term single women - who are looked apon with pity by some segments of society. Just think about the different connotations of the terms 'spinster' and 'bachelor'. The former is often accompanied by the words 'dried up old' and the latter is often accompanied by 'confirmed'....sort of like the former was the womans fault, but the latter was the mans choice....
I could go on but...
I will say one thing, dogs are much less work than a lazy partner!!!!
- by Biology student on July 15, 2007 at 11:04 AM
My partner and I just bought a puppy, and in an "unspoken" kind of way its a road test for children. Can we commit to a relationship, work and a little life to protect and nuture.
- by pooch101 on July 15, 2007 at 12:39 PM
Dogs are certainly no substitute for family. Likewise, family - are certainly no substitute for a dog.
- by Les Cooper on July 15, 2007 at 06:48 PM
I love both women and pussies.
They're both cute.
- by John on July 15, 2007 at 06:57 PM
I have 4 dogs, 2 cats and 1 man. He seems as fond as the dogs and cats as I am. I got him after I got them. I like him as much as I like them but he's more fun in some ways. They all seem to need equal attention though - dogs, cats and man. I'm not sure which require less work!
There are times when I think dog is easier than man. Dog snores less, and mainly his table manners are far better. He is also very good at realising women sometimes only want sympathetic noises and not solutions. Dogs are very good at sympathetic noises. And unlike men, when my dog gets into an unpleasant argument he is just about small enough for me to pick him up and remove him from the scene, thus averting future grudges and embarrassment. A definite advantage. Good luck with your big brood! AC
- by arawajo on July 15, 2007 at 08:17 PM
i miss my dog more than my exwife - nuff said.
- by D-Rock on July 15, 2007 at 08:33 PM
Dogs are better than kids any day. Dogs won't keep you awake crying all night, there's no nappies to change, they're not a pest when doing grocery shopping, if they're naughty you can put them outside. There's no school fees, no I-want-I-want-Iwant...no teenage blues..., no new drama every day...your dog's not likely to get arrested for bad behaviour and most importantly, your dog will always love you, no matter what. Who needs the hassle of kids? I'm very happy with my four legged friends and I'm quite content to let someone else have all the "fun" associated with the two legged variety!
- by Michelle on July 15, 2007 at 10:07 PM
I got dog, man and child (in that order) but when my "first-born" border collie died aged 10, I knew I couldn't make the emotional investment in another puppy. I felt I needed to give my all to my then 5 year old son. So, we got a 5 year old B.C from a rescue organisation and it's been like living with an eccentric aunt ever since. She has added another dimension to our family life. The fact that we haven't raised her from puppy stage means she always keeps us guessing - I love her but she is not "part" of me like my previous dog was and always will be. So I think you can have both, or even have it all - it just depends on how much of you there is to go around.
- by Maureen on July 15, 2007 at 10:50 PM
"She treats her cats better than she treats me." A mate once told me, he was living with a lawyer.
And the gender war continues whether it is children or pets.
I think women and cats are very similar. You can never own a cat, the cat owns you.
- by Not guilty on July 16, 2007 at 06:29 AM
my husband & I have two dogs, and I wouldn't call them a substitute for kids, but at the same time we are not at all sure if we want kids. The dogs are a bit more affordable than kids for us at the moment.
- by Rachel on July 16, 2007 at 08:23 AM
Well...a friend of mine has a dog and is obsessed with it. It sleeps in her bed and controls her life. Until recently, she would seriously consider turning down invitations in the dog was not invited. When she does go out, doggie is babysat by her ageing, 70+ parents and she always collects it by 10pm. They perpetuate this by referring to the dog as their "grandchild". If they can't "babysit", she doesn't go out because she thinks that if she leaves doggie with someone else, "it might love them more than me". She won't get another dog because then "they will play together and not love me as much". What really worries us about this is that at 34 she has never had a boyfriend and her love for the dog is all-consuming. If she met a man and he didn't agree, she would choose the dog. Also, when the inevitable happens and the dog dies, what will happen to her?
- by Kate on July 16, 2007 at 09:58 AM
You spelt my Mum's name wrong.
- by Mark Slocum on July 16, 2007 at 01:01 PM
I got man, dog and child (in that order) - the dog walked into our lives as an abandoned puppy around Christmas 1994 and stayed. He is now nearly 13 (and my daughter is five, Maureen). This dog was my rock when my brother died nine years ago - he sat still and strong while I hugged him and sobbed into his coat, he took it all and licked away my tears - and so I don't mind getting up to let him out at night when he can't hang on any more, even though I no longer do that for my child. And his expensive arthritis medication is part of the budget. This is my family. But I cannot imagine another dog being what Schultz is to me. Although I may have other dogs in the future, I think he is a once in a lifetime dog.
Kate, you and Schultz sound very lucky to have each other. This is a beautiful example of the special bonds we share with our animal companions. I hope your loyal boy has many more years with you. He does indeed sound like a 'once in a lifetime' friend. AC
- by Kate on July 16, 2007 at 01:19 PM
If one cat on your lap means bunny boiling ... what does two mean?! As a mid-20-something (single) female living alone with two cats, I fear for my prospects. I sometimes think blokes would prefer to hear about my recent outbreak of oral herpes* than my recent adoption of two stray kittens. I'm not sure if they are a substitution for a "real" human family (although I must say I do much prefer my two felines to my married friends' human progeny), but they sure make coming home to a not-so-empty-anymore house much more pleasant.
* I don't, in fact, have oral herpes. Just in case you were attributing the single status to this.
- by Cat Woman on July 16, 2007 at 01:41 PM
I totally agree that dogs are excellent sympathisers! My mother always told me dogs can smell your fear. So when they barked as I walked home, I would bark back at them "What do you think you're doing? Back in your kennel!" And it seemed to work. But I think they can smell other emotions, too, and they really care when you're down and love to enjoy your high moods too.
- by Jess on July 16, 2007 at 01:45 PM
It was so cold on Saturday night that my dog, Tyrone, was shivering in my bed. So I took off my jumper and covered him with it. I love him to bits, but I don't really think of him as a child substitute.
- by Feemac on July 16, 2007 at 01:53 PM
Within my work place, it has been decided that "getting a dog" is definitely a lifestage. Within a team of 14, we have five members (all in relationships but no kids) who have a dog who is a central point of their lives. Whilst it is agreed that having a dog is not a substitute for children in the long term, it is definitely seeming like practice for some of the team. But we all agree we can't remember what our lives were like before our puppies, and we wouldn't want to go back.
- by lizzy on July 16, 2007 at 02:17 PM
I think all animals whether you have a family or not are gorgeous and should be looked after just as good as you would look after yourself.
Well said, Leah. AC
- by Leah on July 16, 2007 at 03:13 PM
When I am late home, my hair needs a cut, I gain 5 kilos, I have to work late, I spend too much on shoes, I want to spend time with my girlfriends, I don't feel like sex, I drink a little too much, I snore, I don't want to watch the State of Origin... My dog loves me anyway.
Nuff said.
Another big hear, hear to that one! AC
- by Trees on July 16, 2007 at 04:47 PM
Three dogs, four kids, one husband, extended family and beautiful friends. Love them all but...Dogs sit on your feet whilst you work late on cold winter nights, dogs don't want to chat whilst you jog with them, they don't need entertaining and support like friends do, don't ask for favours like extended family, are not the, (albeit rewarding)emotional drain, that kids are and make less mess than my husband...I love them, and appreciate them all for different reasons, I could never replace one with another, nor be without any of them. Note to couple with puppy as trial run for kids...they are as about alike as husbands and pets....
- by Amanda on July 16, 2007 at 05:35 PM
Do not know what it is about these post which brings out the nostalgia in me.
I had a wonderful Irish Setter called Emma, Emma never complained if I was giving a girlfriend too much attention, she just stuck her cold nose between us. True
She would occasionally loose her rights to the passenger seat in my Panel Van, but she'd make up for it by plonking her head on the passenger looking a patting.
One ex said the dog and I were alike, we wouldn't eat the same things, such as capiscuim.
I can still remember at my grandmothers house, Emma had her head on her paws right in the doorway, the door was open and she knew she wasn't allowed inside.
Zach does something similar at our local cafe - he sits with his chin right on the edge of the doorframe, with his eyes fixed upon the sausage tray. That gaze never wavers!
Irish setters are a beautiful breed - bet Emma was gorgeous. AC
- by Not guilty on July 16, 2007 at 10:56 PM
My guy said he only liked Jack Russells for a pet, and didn't like cats. I got the hint and found new owners for my 3 other dogs, and bought a Jack Russell. He surprised me one day, and instead of sharring our jack russell, bought his own puppie to my surprise. Next I bought another Jack Russell to make him happy because he wanted to go in the puppy breeding bussiness and was going to build a kennell in his back yard...so then he said that he'd buy his own male or breed his bitch....then he bought another puppy and then he bought another puppy. Then when ever I visited him for the night/day he said that he didn't want me to bring my puppies anymore. They pooped on his deck, and he started complaining about it, along with other reasons why I should not now bring my puppies to his house. So the day had arrived where he was the full fledged puppy/dog owner and I was the visitor to the Jack Russell puppy establishment/and I was so lucky...For awhile I chose to bring my puppy anyway and chose to leave him in my SUV...well, so it goes...then the day arrived where puppies were due-his puppies and my puppies...well, here we are now no farther along in this stupid relationship/accept I have a house with a stupid huge mortage and lots of unadopted Jack Russell pups and he built a kennel so he could house his dogs in the yard....and be a clean dude in the house like he prefers. I'm sitting her screaming inside..oh whatever
This is one of the many sad reasons why so many healthy dogs end their days in dog rescues and pounds. They're not a commodity to be bought, sold or given away on a whim. Each dog is a living creature and deserves to be treated as such. Before you breed, or accumulate dogs like possessions please think about the thousands of unwanted animals in this country destined to be destroyed after being discarded. And when you're thinking about bringing a dog into your home, consider the implications carefully first. Please, if possible, choose a rescue dog, too. You'll be saving a life. AC
- by lindy on July 25, 2007 at 04:16 PM
last few years trend around Chinatown has been nouveau riche from China buying expensive small dogs as a status symbol, then leaving them barking lonely non-stop for hours in their units when they go out at night.
My take on dogs and cats is dogs are for dependent types who enjoy feeling power over an animal that looks up to them. Cats are for independent types who enjoy occasional interactions with interesting individuals.
- by Frank on August 05, 2007 at 08:04 AM
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since when have you been fond of men amy? why not be honest with your audience, especially given the point of a blog is to give your personal opinion no matter how pointless.
Miaow! (If you'll pardon the terminology). Do I detect the bitter tone of someone who was once knocked back? So let me amend my previous comment: I am fond of men, but also verrrry picky. AC