I am blonde, hear me roar

Wednesday May 9, 2007 04:08 PM

Amy Cooper

Whoosh! That was the sound of this city's vast army of blondes tossing their heads triumphantly at the satisfying news we're not so dumb after all.

Those of us who can read have taken heart from economist Robert H Frank's fascinating examination of the dumb blonde sterotype and his conclusion that blondes are judged unfairly upon their academic choices rather than their innate intelligence. Thanks, Bob.
But I feel duty-bound to point out that this report and the work it mentions by sociologists Satoshi Kanazawa and Jody L. Kovar suggesting that blondes are actually born smarter than others (bright by appearance, bright by nature) both miss an important point.
It's one of the most crucial characteristics of blonde women: we're not really blonde.
Most blondes are made, not born - like genies, we come out of a bottle. Underneath the shiny surface are mousies, gingers - even the jet black. This differentiates the blonde stereotype from those based upon race, height, build and other hereditary physical features. It's a chosen label.
That's why I've always felt it's churlish to winge about blonde jokes. If they become unbearable, I can just change back to brunette and up my perceived IQ by several points.
Or, as I once remarked late at night in a bar to a lumpen suitor who made rude comments about blondes: 'I can be brown-haired again in the morning, but you'll still be stupid.'
Being blonde is not the easiest hair choice. Apart from the perpetual flow of low quality jokes, there's also the cost. As all faux blondes will tell you, this hair requires its own bank account and doesn't play nicely with weather change, seawater or the wrong shampoo. When you've been sitting in a salon with smelly stuff on your head for three hours, it's hard to believe blondes have more fun.
I'd never much considered why we go to all the bother until a couple of years ago I reviewed an intriguing book by Joanna Pitman called On Blondes, about 'the power of the blonde throughout the ages'.
It's a history of the world's obsession with blondes and a tale of gold fever as old as ancient civilizations who worshipped sun and fire. They prayed to all things gold, traded in the real substance and then moulded it into female form as Aphrodite, goddess of love. Artists and poets portrayed her as a dazzling, flaxen-haired sex symbol - the image of female physical perfection. Men were crazy for her and Greek and Roman courtesans, seeking her golden allure, bleached their dark hair with horse's urine and yellow mud. (Even Julia Roberts did it as the brunette prostitute in Pretty Woman who wears a bright blonde wig to lure customers.)
She believes this cultural preoccupation with blonde lies at the heart of so many modern women's decision to turn fair. As I wrote in the review: 'It's this alchemy of the bottle blonde that fascinates Pitman. Very few blondes are natural, she observes, so blondeness is a decision - and one not to be taken lightly. Not just because of the necessary time, expense and arsenal of maintenance products, but because you're buying into something bigger than you. Cultures have projected so many ideals, preoccupations and fears onto the blonde banner that the way you wear it can reveal more about your subconscious than a Rorschach inkblot test.'
In the book, Blonde Like Me another 'blondologist', Natalia Ilyin, divides blondes into categories inspired by hair dyes: summer wheat, sun, moon, Apollo, baby blonde. Each represents a female archetype: the maternal ideal; the sexy siren, the mystical goddess; the trophy, the child-like innocent. Canadian anthropologist Grant McCracken went even further, with his 'blondeness periodic table', identifying 'bombshell', 'sunny', 'brassy', 'dangerous', 'society' and 'cool' blondes. They separate Jane Mansfield from Doris Day; Camilla Parker-Bowles from Princess Diana, Marilyn Monroe from Alfred Hitchcock's silvery ice queens, Pamela Anderson from Gwyneth Paltrow. They show the flags we fly with our choice of tint.
Neither book ignores the dark side of blonde symbolism and its associations with racial supremacy, but both focus more on a detailed and thought-provoking deconstruction of an almost exclusively female stereotype.
Perhaps both books are an elaborate justification for a hair colour linked more with Paris Hilton and Britney Spears than intellectual clout. Perhaps that's why I'm writing this right now.
I stay fair because actually, it is more fun. This hair colour works hard when the rest of me can't be bothered. When I'm dull or disheveled, my hair reflects the sun away from my sins. Heads always swivel towards blonde, no matter what horrors lie beneath. I tried a brief foray back to brown, didn't like it at all, and was blonde again in days.
Is any of this true for blonde men? My handsome, fair Swedish friend often gets pigeon-holed as a dumb spunk, but he doesn't really mind.
Tell me what you think, and if you feel compelled to post blonde jokes, please at least make them funny.

COMMENTS

Personally I've never understood the human need to box people by hair colour or fashion choice.

Blonde or emo we're almost all interesting people under those fright wigs.

I wonder what humans would box by if we were all naturally bald?

Brown eyes and blue eyes perhaps.

by Aceyducey on July 22, 2007 at 07:27 AM

I'm a rarity - a natural blonde. I've always been at a loss to understand what all the hoopla about "dumb blonde" jokes is all about. I am rarely confronted by such jokes and when I am, I immediately dismiss them, usually without distain for the perpetrator.

Is the real genesis of this "dumb blonde" fixation all in the minds of the "bottle blondes"? Do they somehow feel less worthy than us natural blondes? Chill out, beauty is what is within the person, not the external appearance.

by Vivien Fleming on July 22, 2007 at 09:50 AM

Blonde women have it all (but only natural blonde women, sorry). They have beauty and brains, and everything else a man could want as well. I know this because I a man a blonde man. So all you blonde women out there, make sure you prefer blonde men, because only blonde men can truly appreciate you!

by Andrew on July 22, 2007 at 10:25 AM

My natural colour is a dull blonde, and I've recently taken the plunge into glorious, gothic brunette, and I don't think it's made the slightest difference to how I am treated - perhaps it's because I'm ditzy. Not unintelligent, but definitely on the absent-minded side.

The idea of archetypes associated with blondeness probably has some merit (if it only goes as far identifying nuances of social stereotypes rather than attributing deep Jungian mystical attributes), but then assigning women to these on the basis of their particular shade of blonde is drawing a long bow - I'd want to see some convincing evidence before I was convinced.

by Kate on July 22, 2007 at 10:46 AM

What about the many women who are blonde because they were born blonde but over the years have darkened. That's me. Up until age 16 I was blonde, but it was slowly becoming darker, so I started bleaching so I could maintain the hair I was born with, and lived through my childhood and most of my teens with. I believe its the colour that suits my blue eyes and my fair complexion. I didn't choose to be blonde because of any of the reasons you've mentioned. Did you actually interview anyone for this piece, or did you just base it on your own experiences? Good research!

Er, did you fail to notice the two books referenced in the piece? Sadly, this comment suggests the dumb blonde stereotypes could be true after all ... AC

One thing you are right on, however, is that staying blonde does require its own bank account, hence why now I have let my hair go ot its natural colour, which is a light brown.

by Simone on July 22, 2007 at 11:05 AM

Thanks for being so honest and admitting that you are not a real blond. Trouble is, some of these blond women now also dye their pubic bottom hair the same blond colour as the top, or else just shave it, so we males can't find out anymore what their real hair colour is. Certainly is not a fair world that we live in. Anyway, by looking at your picture, you are a very beautiful woman regardless of your hair colour.

Most sincerely, best regards,

JOSEPH E. MATEUS

Calgary Alberta

Ah, a gentleman at last. Thank you, Joseph. Shame you live so far away. AC

by JOSEPH E. MATEUS on July 22, 2007 at 01:40 PM

to me, a fake blonde always screams "i just want the boys to like me."

by Jen on July 22, 2007 at 02:40 PM

I believe blonds are not dumb, but because of the stereotypes they feel they are expected to act dumb.

by brianna on July 22, 2007 at 04:20 PM

yeah!... just have a look at what 'seems' to be her (Paris) latest video ...

by JCJ on July 22, 2007 at 04:47 PM

i clicked on the links to the reviews but some blonde twit had stuffed the code

Ah, that must have been our brunette IT guy. AC

by nick hughes on July 22, 2007 at 05:01 PM

The other day I was asked by a random male passer by whether red heads have more fun. I'd have to say yes. With my fiery (out of a bottle) hair colour I enjoy a head of hair that turns heads, radiates in sun light and does the hard work when the rest of me isn't so in the mood. And as a bonus there are no blonde jokes or stereotypes to contend with. I could never understand why red is such an underrated hair colour. Perhaps there is no historial link to a godess that can be found to over rule the stereotype of the red head's quick temper.

by Tamara on July 23, 2007 at 12:51 AM

As a light blonde 22 year old male who still retains his blonde locks (hasn't darkened to brown like some others, in fact my hair was white when i was little), I have to say I agree with you that we are way too easily stereotyped with stupidity rather than intelligence. Having said that, I feel I should also point out that female blondes in particular bear more of the brunt of the ridicule. When we are made fun of, it is usually along the lines of being pigeon holed as a surfer bonehead, or "he's blonde , female blondes are stupid, ergo he must be too." I know the latter sounds sexist and unfair, but it's true, the stereotype of the ditsy blonde is solely based on the perception of blonde FEMALES, but this has greatly affected the perception of male blondes as well. Obviously this is down to our famous blonde icons, Hilton, Spears, Simpson, Munroe, etc. They are who we too are based on, even though we are MALE. When one thinks famous blonde male icons, you think of rock stars/musicians, Kurt Cobain, Daniel Johns, Hanson (ugh), but examples like these don't necessarily paint a picture of stupidity, with the exception of Kurt Cobain who choked on a bullet. Oh, actually as I write this I just thought of Martin Bryant, but even so, who the hell even remembers that guy anymore? Do you see what I mean?

Famous blonde women set the tone for how blondes as a whole are treated, regardless of gender. I guess this is due to the fact that blonde girls often have long hair, which amplifies the fact that they are blonde. As a male with long blonde hair, this also amplifies the fact I can be made fun of or easily judged if desired, of course with the flip side that some girls consider it eye candy. Natural blonde hair can be a curse, but it can also be a blessing.

by James on July 23, 2007 at 01:38 AM

I'm blonde, (though my hair roots are dark brown and my hair has hints of dark black/brown in it...) and everyone I know says I am smarter than everyone else....making fun of a person just because of their hair color is just like rascism in skin.....their is no difference. Just because your hair is a shade of golden blonde doesn't mean anything except that your hair is...golden blonde. Paris just acts stupid because she is....just because one blonde went down the drain doesn't mean all of them have. People expect Paris to act stupid which is why she does.

by Taylor on July 23, 2007 at 06:08 AM

Or, another way to consider it: Why are "blonde jokes" so stupid? [my TRUE blonde girlfriend asked that rhetorical question when I was trying to wind her up one day with a couple of silly blonde jokes...took me awhile to figure it out.]

by Doc on July 23, 2007 at 09:03 AM

Amongst the people I know, I'm considered a relatively smart cookie, yet it's always amusing (to me at least) : I'm a natural dark brunette, but have ran the haircolour gamut over the years and now I'm a light blonde. As a brunette, the running joke between my friends and me was that "you can forgive her, she's really a natural blonde under that dark hair..." and people believed it. Now I'm blonde, people never guess that it's dyed every other week. Gotta laugh.

by Vicki on July 23, 2007 at 12:08 PM

I am naturally dirty blond, but think I look better (to myself) as a blond, so yes! I am a fake blond and I don't see my hair color as having anything to do with how smart I am or am not. There are times that I do say "blond" things -- but I am also an interface engineer, which requires intelligence. I think every person (blond, brown hair, tall, short, etc.) is just unique and no survey or data can determine intelligence -- as that is a matter of perspective.

by Angel on July 23, 2007 at 12:09 PM

You do have to wonder whether the dumb blonde stereotype comes from all the chemicals used to dye the hair such vivid shades of bottle blonde. The scent is enough to give you a headache so image doing it continuously throughout your life. Perhaps it is the perception that anyone who submitts to that much for their hair must be silly.
I used to be blonde growing up, my hair got darker when i reached my mid to late teens. I did the bottle bonde thing for a few years but found my hair was damaged from the process. I decided to cut it all short and go dark and see how thing pan out. I am now back to my natural colour which is a bland shade of dark grey blonde which look slike light brown but lacks any vibrancy and have been using six wash rinses to try to give it some kick.. so as a former blonde, your damned if you dye and bland if you don't.

by elentari on July 23, 2007 at 12:24 PM

I think it's actually all about the primeval urge to attract a mate. As my mother used to say, a woman's hair is her 'crowning glory'. Hair is sexy, just ask the Taliban. Blonde hair is attractive for all the reasons you so eloquently point out AC, not least of which is the fact that blondes have traditionally been in the very small minority. Human nature dictates that we want most what we cannot have and the rarer something is, the more coveted and special it becomes. We're also regularly told that the male of the species is a highly 'visual' creature, a slave to his eyeballs, if you will, and that he will rove his orbs over any female that comes into range, looking for, amongst other things, the tell tale sign of fertility and female attractiveness, the hour-glass figure. Something about the ratio of breast, to waist to hip, blah blah blah. Well I think we can add blonde hair to 36"-24"-36". Let's be honest girls, having more fun is code for having more attention from men. And as for putting the dumb into dumb blonde, that's also part of the never-ending quest to attract a mate. Someone, and it certainly wasn't Marilyn Monroe, although she took it to a whole new level, worked out long ago that playing dumb, pandering to the male ego and generally carrying on like the village idiot whilst batting eyelashes and flashing dimples and looking coy would attract male attention. Being a 'ditz', an 'airhead' or a 'bimbo' is not behaviour restricted to blonde women, plenty of red heads, brunettes and brown-with-highlights-haired girls stoop to this irritating, but admittedly effective technique of making men take notice of them, it's just that the golden girls stand out from the crowd, and tend to get the lion's share of the attention.

by Fabienne on July 23, 2007 at 01:24 PM

I'm a natural blonde and I get blonde jokes all the time...really funny actually as I've duxed my year every year since Year Seven. Generally the people making the jokes are stupider than the blondes they're talking about.

Even natural blondes don't have fun...mine is shocking to take care of. Now I just whack some shampoo and conditioner in and leave it to its own devices.

And blondes really do have more fun...I'm the only blonde in my group and I tend to be the only one smiling after having had a great weekend!!

by Claire on July 24, 2007 at 08:34 AM

by Jen on July 22, 2007 at 02:40 PM

yep she gets it

by KARMA on August 05, 2007 at 10:07 AM

im doing an assement in english. i have choosen to do it on blondes. i know for a fact that blondes are not dumb. its whether they want to act like it because they think it will gain them more attention. i would like your feed back on this matter please feel free to email me. thank you alot.

by Brooke on August 08, 2007 at 07:58 PM

Well I can tell you that everything is upside down for blonde men. The sexual stereotypes are very particular that dark-haired men are the most beutiful and in every advertisment, movie etc. the guy is dark-haired and the woman has a lighter colour.
Not only do we loose out in looks, but also there is a bias against us in the workplace, as employers tend to hire people that look like themselfs (and talk, walk like themselfs...)
There is a small but constant bias against blonde men even in Scandinavia, and therefore I can understand how it must be for african-americans in the US, for example.
After WW2 there was also a policy adopted by Hollywood and others to denounce the image of the blonde as a superhuman as the nazis propagated.
The blonde man became the villian, and so he has remained.
But you dark-haired people dont' have to worry, in a few generations (some say 200 years) we will be gone like the dinosaurs!

by Perzy on August 10, 2007 at 11:31 PM

As somebody (millions, probably) said, I don't understand stereotyping nor do I find it funny. And I am not referring only to "blonde jokes" but to the stereotyping - implicit or explicit - found in this (sorry!) and myriad other articles: that "other people" perceive blondes as such-and-such.
"Other people"?
Who are they? Where are they? Why haven't I met them?
Anyway, they must be rather unintelligent people, in which case (as in any other case) the hair colour doesn't really matter, does it?

My personal case is actually pretty interesting, but there is no place here to describe in the detail it would deserve. LEt me just say this: I was born blonde, then my hair turned a very peculiar colour - described by "dark blonde" by some, or "steely dark brown" (yes, DARK brown) by others, depending of the geography.

Unfortunately, I was much too young - or just too silly - to really appreciate the incedible hair colour I had been given and decided to change it. First, I went back to blonde. I had no problem attracting men, but that was because I had - remember, I am anonymous, therefore not bound by false modesty ;) - a gorgeous face and body. And yet, it never felt like "me" - BUT that might have been actually just a reflection of my general insecurity about myself at that time.

Then, years later, I finally decided to take the plunge and dye my hair much DARKER than my natural colour. I would have done it sooner, if it weren't for the pressure of my environment which was apparently - albeit unwittingly - obsessed by the "idee fixe" that blonde is more beautiful. (It ain't.)

I became GORGEOUS, just as I thought I would - because I have a porcelain pale skin and greenish eyes. Besides, my hair is naturally wavy (not curly) and what is usually described as "luxurious".

Interestingly, I did immediately feel much more like "myself": a dynamic, risky, fun-loving and (still being anyonymous here, remember?) WAY-above-average intelligent, unconventional and kind young woman.

In other words, I became Queen Cleopatra. ;) Unfortunately, it turned out that there were very few Julius Caesars around... I simply couldn't understand it. Men were definitely eyeing me, but nobody EVER asked me out or even approached me (not REALLY).

In time, I realised what was happening, of course. But I insisted in wearing my hair as it was - DARK! - or, alternatively, with a gorgeous tint of very dark red. (First and foremost, because I put aesthetics above lascivity; and because MY opinion of my looks is the only opinion that matters to me.)

Fast-forward to a month or so ago: I was hit by a string of tragedies that rocked my world. Literally: my world is no more (and it was a WONDERFUL world, the lack of men notwithstanding). I decided I needed to signal to the outside world that *I* am no longer my former self (I hope you know what I mean). I suppose that's precisely the reason why people wear (or used to wear) mourning attire: to let people know they are not the same people, that they require a different treatment.

Well, I don't wear mourning. (And it has nothing to do with vanity; besides, black looks terrific on me. No, my refusal is a matter of principle - of very personal existential dignity.)

So I decided to let my hair grow "natural" again - mostly because I was sick & tired of dyeing the roots every week or so. But it still didn't feel removed enough from who I was (in fact, it just brought me closer to the happy days of my early life that I DIDN'T want to remember - not just now.)
So I chose an uncomplicated clear blonde that is still close enough to my original colour, so I don't have to spend too many evenings in the bathroom dyeing my roots.
I also cut it short - myself, with no regard for "style" or even regularity, in a sort of rage.

Well, guess what? Men are crawling all around me once again...
(If you have read what I said above, you'll figure out why.)

And guess what else?
WHO CARES?!
I have no need or time, let alone interest, for WIMPS who are afraid of "Cleopatra", if you know what I mean.

Bottomline: if you're "Cleopatra" (code name for an independent-minded woman who has a LOT to offer on all fronts) - and you LOOK like one (dark-haired), be prepared to sit out many a dance. Not because you're uninteresting, but because - in combination with your actual personality - you might be perceived as simply TOO MUCH.

And you know what?
For people who are afraid to approach such a woman, you actually ARE "too much". They are wimps - they are not your match, babe.

If, on the other hand, you just want to have "fun" of the squalid type - meaning having weak, insecure guys (and I am astonished at their number!) crawling around you, offering you drinks, asking you out and such... then, by all means, give it a go. Try going blonde. People find it less intimidating - people who are easily intimidated, that is.
(You can have mine - because I surely have no need for such people in my life.)

A final word of warning: unless you're doing it for some peculiar reason (like I am), change your hair colour only if YOU like it on yourself. Because if you're counting on "men" (as a generality) preferring blondes, you couldn't be more mistaken.
Besides, just look at Catherine Zeta Jones, for example, and compare her to ANY Hollywood blonde... There's no contests.
But that is a very personal opinion, of course. Plus, I am not a man. (I guess you gathered that much...? ;))

by Anonyma on August 14, 2007 at 08:34 AM

95% of Caucasian women are Brunette. According to Clairol statistics about 40% of these Brunettes are bleached and have assumed the good name Blonde. Amy Cooper and the rest of the massive bleached army will say and do anything to get all the money and attention away from normal human-coloured women with normal racial characteristics. They will say that Blonde women aren't really Blonde and they will say that the extremely rare and extremely striking visual characteristics of Blondes aren't racial characteristics. They will also say that Dumb Blonde jokes don't bother them because they can always just say I'm not Blonde or they can let their brown hair grow out. All of the dumb jokes belong to the Dumb Bleached Brunettes and it's about time they found out that they are the reason for the jokes; in fact, they are the jokes. Wait until somebody studies your stupidity and publishes the fact that the Dumb Bleached Brunette stereotype is true.

by Carol E. Cox on August 17, 2007 at 03:05 PM

I have ash blond hair that started off white and has got darker and rather curley, but not really brown. The good point is that women never leave it alone, I have'nt worked out if they actually like it or not but whatever. They say they do. I coauld always shave if I was that desperate lol. I think I have noticed a difference in behaviour in blonde kids even who obv don't use peroxide. They seem more hyper and funny. The girls act girly and the boys don't fit in as well. as expected then.

by Jim on October 01, 2007 at 08:20 AM

Blond men are naturally, interesting, intelligent, goofy, lovable and honest. Ok this may be slightely biased coming from a blonde guy.. Genuine Blonde guys rule OK......Go take a hike all you fakes (girls and boys). There is nothing like the real thing!

by Robin the Saxon on October 25, 2007 at 08:39 PM

Dyed blond women generally have a 'dyed blonde complex'. Not nice peole from my experience...after all they are fake. Now give me real a blonde girl any-day, pasty skin and fair hair. Totally different animal a real blonde. I should know I am a gen blonde male. It's funny how fake blonde women can't look me in eyes, or walk over the other side of the street to me. Serves the right.

by Rob on January 11, 2008 at 01:22 AM

I am a natural blonde. And will keep my blonde hair. It is bright as ever and i like it that way. I do well in school and have been taking honors classes my whole life. But i still get the "dumb blonde" thing all the time. If everyone(or most) people want to be blonde why is that so dumb?

by Linda on March 20, 2008 at 06:21 AM

hahahahahhaah amy, you are a legend.

i adore the retalliation comments to the arrogant pricks commenting, especially:

"i clicked on the links to the reviews but some blonde twit had stuffed the code

Ah, that must have been our brunette IT guy. AC "

well done!!
all the best,
grace

p.s. i am a natural-born blonde, however i dye a certain shade of sunshine because I LIKE IT.

by grace on June 11, 2008 at 10:16 PM

When I younger I had beautiful blonde ringlets, however, as I grew up my hair got darker and I didn't like the inbetween colour because to me it was dull. At 16 I was fed up and dyed my hair a dark brown. It remained that colour for two years and it didn't look right when I wore it curly. When I slowly went back to blonde (a lighter shade than my now natural colour) I felt myself again. Now I have hi-lights put through every so often just to brighten it up a bit but I still have my natural colour in there. I do this because (as stated above) I LIKE IT!
I get the blonde jokes all the time, but I think there funny because I know that blondes are not dumb at all. I have just got my degree and I did just as good as anyone else. Yes, from time to time I do have 'blonde moments', but doesn't everyone??
Just as a final point, I read in a newspaper a while back that in twenty years natural blondes will be extinct and I think it will be a shame if this happens! Blondes are brilliant and if you happen to be a natural blonde you are very lucky!!

by Sarah on August 11, 2008 at 08:25 AM

The Sun-Herald

Amy Cooper

I am blonde, hear me roar

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